Original subtitles

♪ You're green Not only in the summertime… ♪

The Schwarzenbochs are coming?

Yes.

So, what are we going to do?

Well, I've tracked down Janet, the housekeeper.

She's agreed to take care of the preparations.

She lives nearby, so she won't be long.

You are to stay in the apartment until she arrives,

at which point you'll be dismissed and can go home.

Oh.

But on full pay.

Oh!

Right. I'm sorry.

I've got to get this. Uh, the housekeeper will be in contact.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is… ♪

- Hello? - Hello, dear.

I'm Janet,

the Schwarzenbochs' housekeeper.

-Oh. -I'm afraid we have got a problem.

Right. Yes, I heard. But you're not far away, are you?

Oh, well, that's the problem.

I've been a bit of a naughty girl, you see.

Petra, she thinks I'm in Chiswick. I'm actually in Perthshire with my mother.

You're in Scotland?

Listen, it'll be no problem at all.

I'll head to the station shortly, and I will be with you later on tonight.

Oh, okay.

Oh, nothing to worry about.

I've come up with a plan.

Now, there's a credit card in the drawer in the kitchen office.

If I send a wee list to your printer, could you make a start on the shopping?

Gosh. That's quite a list.

Finally.

All right, little man. Let's see if there's any room at the inn.

Chocolate with figs. Chocolate with figs.

A-ha!

Chocolate with figs.

There we go.

And…

And Dom Pérignon Champagne.

Ah!

Champagne. Here we are.

Yes. Dom Pérignon.

Oof.

Goodness.

Ah.

Huh.

"Twenty-four"?

Okay.

There we go.

Another one down.

Mrs. Hakopian?

I was about to head for the station,

but I remembered one other thing.

Herr and Frau Schwarzenboch

cannot do without their Trüffelstreichwurst.

Their what?

Spreadable sausage, dear, with the calf's liver and white truffle.

Thank you.

Goodness. Ooh.

Now, we're going to need another trolley.

This is a CAT 1 emergency. Immediate priority.

We have a missing infant. Repeat, missing infant.

All units, we have a missing baby. Over.

Ah.

And the baby was definitely in the car seat when you left?

Yes! Yes, I strapped him in myself.

You've reached Georgia Hakopian.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Oh, hello.

Um…

I just wanted to apologize again for the whole mix-up with the baby.

And, uh…

And to give you these.

They're really nice, actually.

It's very kind of you.

-Okay. -Thank you, Trevor.

Yeah.

Well, I hope you have a good Christmas.

Yeah. I'll, uh…

- I'll just slide this. - Thank you.

Come on, Archie.

Hayley!

Hello, Annabel. Hello, Archie.

Right.

Here we go.

Now, then.

It is not your shoe, I've told you.

Give.

There we go. Thank you.

No problem.

You have a lovely-wovely time! Bye! Bye!

There you are. Here, Archie.

- Huh. - Let's go.

Stay here.

Archie! Come back!

No! No! Get off!

Sorry! I'll bring him straight back down!

Get off! No!

Archie, where are you going?

Right. Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Hello, Annabel?

Hello!

Dog lady?

Oh, no.

Ah.

Oh! No. Archie! Archie!

Give me that shoe!

Archie!

No! Not the spreadable sausage!

Oh!

Oh…

Look.

Look what I've got.

A shoe.

A lovely shoe for you.

Come and get it, Archie.

Oh!

No, not the fob!

Let go. Let go, Archie. Let go. Good dog.

Let go! Let go.

Let…

Oh, no. Oh, no.

No!

Not the fob! Not the fob!

Where is it?

Oh!

Phew!

Mrs. Hakopian?

Listen, I'm afraid the weather's atrocious up here,

and the trains, love, they're all over the place.

So, I'll take the overnight sleeper. Would that be all right?

Oh.

Um…

And if you could make a wee start on decorating the flat, I'd appreciate it.

There's decorations in the storage unit downstairs.

Okay. Uh…

-And we're gonna need a Christmas tree. -Oh!

Where do you think I could get one of those?

Oh, don't worry about that. I will have Geoff drop one off.

He does all the flora and fauna for the penthouse.

Will you need help setting it up?

Oh, no, that won't be necessary.

I've set up a fair few Christmas trees in my time.

Of course you have. I do like you, Trevor.

You did you get the spreadable sausage?

Oh.

Uh…

Yes.

-Yes, I did. -Full marks, dear.

I knew we were in safe hands with you.

I'll see you first thing in the morning.

Okay. Bye.

Archie!

No! No, no, no, no, no!

-Hello? -This is Annabel from the third floor.

I got your note and was just wondering if you could bring my dog downstairs?

Oh…

No.

I'm sorry,

because…

I'm out at the moment.

Well… when will you be back?

Well, that's a bit difficult to say.

Two hours?

Three, maybe?

Why don't I call you when I get back?

Ah. Hello, Trevor.

Lionel, how are you?

Today's the day, having to move out.

I can't believe it's actually happening.

Here we are.

Goodness.

What am I even going to put it in?

Good.

Now all we need to do is decorate it.

While someone's having a sleep.

Come on.

Sheep.

Straw.

Ah.

Archie, come on.

All right.

Ooh…

Huh.

Oh!

Good.

You need a poo.

At last, you need a poo!

Come on, Archie.

Go on.

That's right.

Good boy.

That's right. Go on. Go on.

Yes. Well done, Archie.

Now, then.

Uh…

I need a sort of…

Oh!

Well, look at that.

Good.

Here we go.

Oof.

Right.

Now…

Ooh!

Yes! Yes!

Yes, it's there! Ah!

Oh!

Ah! There he is! There's my boy!

Oh! Did he do his business?

-Did he? -He certainly did.

Oh, what a good boy! There's my good boy!

Oh, well, thank you for looking after him.

-That's all right. -Are you going up?

Yes. Yes.

Uh…

And, uh, you're the, uh, penthouse, aren't you? Hm.

Night-night, Baby Jesus.

- Hello? - They've canceled everything.

There's no trains running at all.

-I'm not gonna make it. -What?

You'll have to prepare the Christmas feast for the Schwarzenbochs yourself.

What do you mean? How many--

Only 12. Possibly 14.

Sixteen at the outside.

Now, the Schwarzenbochs arrive at five o'clock, so that's your deadline.

Five o'clock?

-Oh, there's no need to panic, Trevor. -Janet, that's…

Oh, do not worry, hen.

I was up the entire night at the station,

and I've written down step-by-step instructions.

They should be coming through to you any minute.

"Christmas feast."

Eh…

Heh.

Oh.

Ah.

Good evening. If you would like to come through?

If you would like to come?

Ah.

Hello, it's Janet. Please leave a message after the beep.

Hm…

- Hello? - Oh, hello, Petra. It's me, Trevor.

Sorry, Trevor who?

Trevor Bingley.

From the flat in London.

I'm still here because Janet,

who's also here,

uh, asked me to help out with a few bits and pieces.

And she asked me to

let you know that the Christmas feast is ready,

but that there's still no sign of the Schwarzenbochs.

I'm so sorry.

I, um…

I meant to call her, but it completely slipped my mind. Um…

Could you tell her the Schwarzenbochs aren't coming?

Uh, they diverted to New York at the last minute.

Not coming?

♪ O Christmas tree ♪

♪ O Christmas tree ♪

♪ How loyal are your branches! ♪

Oh, please tell her how sorry I am. I hope she didn't go to too much trouble.

Well…

Uh, she, um…

Now, look, I've got to go.

I've got the New York housekeeper on the other line.

But, um, will you wish Janet a very merry Christmas from me?

And, um, please say thank you again. She's been so wonderful.

Happy Holidays.

Hello?

Sorry to bother you, sir. Metropolitan Police.

Uh, we're making inquiries about a missing baby

we understand was previously in your charge.

Oh! Yes! Yes!

Yes, it's right here.

You mean, you've got the baby?

Yes. I'll bring it right down.

Come in.

Come on, baby. Let's go.

-Ah. -Ah.

Well, well, well. What do we have here, then?

-Ah. -Oh!

This is him, is it?

You've been very busy, haven't you?

Led everyone on a right little dance.

Here we go.

Uh…

Doesn't, uh, appear to be the same baby, sir.

Oh, no, it isn't.

That's the wrong baby.

This is the right baby.

I had the wrong baby when I gave it to Mrs. Hakopian, you see.

And then while I was going back to get the right baby,

that was when she drove off.

Ha!

Why not let the caseworker sort this out? If that's okay with you, sir?

Right. Yes.

Uh, control? This is DS-one-nine. Can you get the FLO on site ASAP?

Ah…

I think I'm going to have to feed him. Do you want to come upstairs?

I think I probably should, sir, yeah.

Here we are.

Please, come in.

Oh, wow!

You've got yourself quite a place here, sir.

Oh, no, it isn't mine. I'm just the house sitter.

Ah.

Can I offer you something to drink while you're waiting?

Oh, uh…

I'm afraid we've only got vintage champagne.

Hello, hello, hello.

Oh, bless you.

Oh, hello.

-Hello, Trevor. Do you have a minute? -Uh, yes. I'll buzz you up.

Sorry to bother you, Trevor.

We just wanted to say thank you for the presents.

-And to give you this. -Yeah.

-Oh, goodness. -It's a chewable Peppa Pig set.

River loves them. We thought your baby would too.

Ah, that's really, really kind. Thank you.

♪ What you are… ♪

Would you like to come in for a mince pie?

Or some stollen cake?

♪ Last Christmas I gave you my heart… ♪

♪ This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special… ♪

Hello, Lionel.

Herr Scrooge says I've got to leave these with you, apparently.

Oh! Archie! Come back!

Sorry, Trevor. We were in the lift when you buzzed Lionel up.

Archie!

Still can't believe this is really it.

The final goodbye.

Oh.

Can I offer you a drink, Lionel?

Oh…

Jess!

How are you?

How's Barbados?

We're not in Barbados, Trevor.

We're in London.

Oh.

We spent two days at Heathrow waiting for our flight to go,

and then last night at an airport hotel.

And then, after another seven-hour wait,

they canceled the flight.

Jess, I'm so sorry.

So we're in a taxi on our way back into town.

Is Maddy okay?

Well,

that's why I'm calling.

I realize it might be asking an awful lot,

and I know we've already messed you about this Christmas, but…

do you think there's any way we could come to you, after all?

Well, yes, I think there probably is.

-But I'm in a different place. -What do you mean? Where are you?

Oh!

Jess, I've got to go, but I'll text you the address.

Georgia, come on up.

♪ Ding-dong, merrily on high ♪

♪ In heav'n the bells are ringing ♪

♪ Ding-dong, verily the sky ♪

♪ Is riv'n with angel singing… ♪

Happy Christmas, Archie.

♪ Hosanna in excelsis ♪

♪ Glo ♪

♪ Ria ♪

♪ Hosanna in excelsis ♪

Are you sure this is the right address?

Dad!

Hello, sweet pea.

Hello, Jess.

Hello.

Dad, this place is amazing.

What is this?

And who are all these people?

Well, it's a bit of a long story.

Oh!

-Whose baby is this? -Oh, the baby's mine.

What?

What do you mean, Dad?

Well, not mine-mine.

It's part of the long story.

Well, it's a story that keeps getting longer, to be honest.

Because despite all our best efforts at social services,

we have absolutely no idea where this baby has come from.

You've got two?!

Mom, can I give you that? I won't eat it.

♪ And it's been so long… ♪

Happy Christmas, Jess.

Cheers!

So how do you know these people?

♪ To pass the time away… ♪

Uh, bread sauce?

Oh, uh, they don't do dairy.

Oh, that must be really hard.

Everyone! Everyone!

I think it's high time someone proposed a Christmas toast.

- Ah! - To Trevor.

Oh!

To Trevor.

To Dad.

Oh, and… and to the baby that brought us all together.

To the baby!

Uh, where is the baby?

He was just here.

Oh, no.

Under the table?

Can't be far.

- Check the curtains. - Yes.

Yes, you do that side and I'll…

Jesus?

Baby Jesus?

Where are you?

Baby?

Baby?

He's here!

He's here!

Mm…

Oh.

Hello?

Happy Christmas, Janet.

We decided we could not miss your Christmas feast after all.