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1
00:00:02,242 --> 00:00:03,824
This is Taylor's
last performance
2
00:00:03,825 --> 00:00:05,116
before she graduates,
and we're gonna be
3
00:00:05,117 --> 00:00:06,782
so far in the back
that I can't document it.
4
00:00:06,783 --> 00:00:08,657
Swayze had his shirt off.
What was I supposed to do?
5
00:00:11,408 --> 00:00:13,366
See? The doors are closed!
We're late!
6
00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:16,241
Taylor goes on at 6:15.
It's 6:13.
7
00:00:16,242 --> 00:00:17,616
I gave us a two-minute buffer
8
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,282
because you pee so often
these days.
9
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:22,991
Where are you going?
10
00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:24,407
To our seats.
11
00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:27,657
Sorry. We're late.
It's her fault.
12
00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,407
Whenever "Point Break" is on,
she just has to finish it.
13
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:35,574
Katie, what are you doing?
14
00:00:35,575 --> 00:00:36,824
These are reserved
for the senator.
15
00:00:36,825 --> 00:00:38,907
There's no senator.
I snuck in here
16
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,366
and taped them off
when I picked up Anna-Kat.
17
00:00:40,367 --> 00:00:42,657
But everyone else
waited in line.
Are you kidding?
18
00:00:42,658 --> 00:00:44,532
These spoiled ding-a-lings had
their nannies do it for them.
19
00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,157
You can't just
break the rules like this.
20
00:00:46,158 --> 00:00:48,157
Sure, you can. See?
We're doing it.
21
00:00:48,158 --> 00:00:49,491
You just have to
become immune
22
00:00:49,492 --> 00:00:50,907
to people
staring daggers at you.
23
00:00:50,908 --> 00:00:52,532
This is how you handle it.
24
00:00:52,533 --> 00:00:53,699
Hey, girl!
25
00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:03,049
I'm not a big classical music
fan, but that seemed fine.
26
00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:06,549
Okay, our next performer is--
27
00:01:08,217 --> 00:01:10,216
Very funny.
That was not me.
28
00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:13,216
I have exquisite control.
29
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,549
Young man over P.A. system:
Seniors rule!
30
00:01:18,217 --> 00:01:21,674
Westport Unified has
a tradition of senior pranks,
31
00:01:21,675 --> 00:01:23,841
but this time,
you've gone too far, mister.
32
00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:27,507
You fart me?
Well, I fart you!
33
00:01:27,508 --> 00:01:30,382
From now on, there will be
no more senior pranks
34
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:32,632
for the rest of the year,
or face the consequences!
35
00:01:52,092 --> 00:01:54,507
I can't believe Principal Ablin
called off senior prank.
36
00:01:54,508 --> 00:01:56,632
I know, and the one I did
my last senior year
37
00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,132
was so much fun.
38
00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,799
You guys should just
do one anyway.
39
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,132
Taylor, don't listen
to your mother.
She's a bad influence.
40
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,799
My favorite memories
all involve breaking the rules.
41
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,049
Like in high school,
my friend Missy Andrews
42
00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:08,882
stole a key
to the concession stand,
43
00:02:08,883 --> 00:02:10,507
and we would skip class,
sneak in,
44
00:02:10,508 --> 00:02:11,882
and grill hamburgers.
45
00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:14,466
That's truancy, breaking
and entering, stealing--
46
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,632
No! It was the best.
47
00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:17,799
It's also where I learned
48
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,924
that I was definitely
not a lesbian.
49
00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:21,382
Hmm.
What is wrong with you?
50
00:02:21,383 --> 00:02:23,216
I just want our daughter
to have some fun!
51
00:02:23,217 --> 00:02:25,757
Live a little.
You only get one life.
52
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:28,174
Don't worry, Dad, I'm definitely
not doing a senior prank.
53
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:30,591
Right. You guys
are not doing a prank.
54
00:02:30,592 --> 00:02:32,757
Gotcha.
55
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,049
Why are you winking at me?
56
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,674
Great.
So, you're a snitch, too.
57
00:02:41,342 --> 00:02:43,591
I'm worried if Taylor doesn't
learn to break the rules
58
00:02:43,592 --> 00:02:45,591
and color outside the lines
once in a while,
59
00:02:45,592 --> 00:02:46,716
she's going to miss out.
60
00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:48,632
I'm a lawyer.
My whole life is rules.
61
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,091
We have them for a reason--
62
00:02:50,092 --> 00:02:51,591
to secure
a safe and just society.
63
00:02:51,592 --> 00:02:52,966
Hmm.
64
00:02:52,967 --> 00:02:54,007
You know, when you're
as rich as I am,
65
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,216
there are no rules.
66
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,257
Watch.
67
00:02:56,258 --> 00:02:57,924
Yes, hi.
68
00:02:57,925 --> 00:02:59,549
I would like
that woman's food.
69
00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:01,424
Okay, she's having the--
N-No.
70
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:02,757
You're not understanding me.
71
00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:04,049
I want her food.
72
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,257
Oh, I--
I couldn't possibly--
73
00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:11,549
Hey!
I'm not done!
74
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:13,424
See? No rules.
75
00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:15,757
Greg is such a rigid
by-the-book guy,
76
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,591
and that's what I love
about him.
77
00:03:17,592 --> 00:03:18,632
Actually, I don't.
78
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,591
I don't know
why I just said that.
79
00:03:19,592 --> 00:03:20,882
Mm-hmm.
Continue.
80
00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:22,549
Because he's
such a rule-follower,
81
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,299
I have to go the other way to
balance things out for the kids.
82
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,674
So it's Greg's fault
83
00:03:26,675 --> 00:03:29,132
that I have to force Taylor
to do a senior prank.
84
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:31,257
I'd like my breakfast back.
85
00:03:31,258 --> 00:03:32,966
No.
86
00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:35,091
Bring me your fruit.
87
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:41,550
No rules!
88
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,716
If I make this, I'll
have my dad buy the Warriors.
89
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,299
Why'd you do that?
90
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,799
I don't care
for Steph Curry.
91
00:03:58,342 --> 00:04:00,257
Guys...
92
00:04:00,258 --> 00:04:03,674
I just got invited to a party
at Maggie K's house.
93
00:04:03,675 --> 00:04:06,132
It's my first
"party for no reason" party!
94
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:07,341
That's big!
95
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:08,382
{\an8}iFelicidades!
96
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:09,549
{\an8}You made it.
97
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,007
You've become
a cool kid, huh?
98
00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:13,091
My money was on shut-in
or serial killer.
99
00:04:13,092 --> 00:04:14,882
I'm so excited
to go with Franklin.
100
00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:16,882
Wait. Franklin was invited
to this party?
101
00:04:16,883 --> 00:04:19,132
{\an8}Well, no, but he's staying
with us this weekend.
102
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,299
{\an8}His mom's cult
is going to Branson, Missouri,
103
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,757
{\an8}to take in a few shows.
104
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:26,132
{\an8}It's not all arms trafficking
and praying to the moon.
105
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,924
You can't bring Franklin.
106
00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:29,299
{\an8}I have to.
107
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,757
{\an8}He's my platonic childhood
husband/partner.
108
00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:32,174
{\an8}But this is a cool-kid party,
109
00:04:32,175 --> 00:04:34,174
{\an8}and Franklin's
a stone-cold weirdo.
110
00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:35,549
{\an8}No, he's not. He's unique.
111
00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:37,757
{\an8}Off-beat. Eccentric.
112
00:04:37,758 --> 00:04:40,091
{\an8}All words parents use
when their kid is a weirdo.
113
00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:41,507
{\an8}Well, I can't
blow off this party.
114
00:04:41,508 --> 00:04:42,716
{\an8}That'd be social suicide.
115
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,799
{\an8}Can you guys help me?
116
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,299
{\an8}By doing what?
I don't know.
117
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,799
{\an8}Teach Franklin to be cool
so I can take him with me.
118
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,299
{\an8}I guess we could
help this kid out.
119
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,466
{\an8}I made you cool.
I could make Franklin cool.
120
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,132
{\an8}Are you kidding?
I made you cool, dude.
121
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:57,341
{\an8}Dude, you never even
used the word "dude"
122
00:04:57,342 --> 00:04:58,632
{\an8}before I met you, dude.
123
00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:00,174
Dude.
Dude.
124
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,882
Dude?
Dude.
125
00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:02,966
Dude.
126
00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,757
What the hell is going on?
127
00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:07,424
Thanks for taking us
to get tacos, Mrs. A.
128
00:05:07,425 --> 00:05:08,716
{\an8}I lied.
129
00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:10,341
{\an8}We're not going
to get tacos.
130
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:12,049
{\an8}Oh, no, I've seen her
do this to Luthor.
131
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,424
{\an8}We're going to the vet!
132
00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:15,716
{\an8}We're going to your school
to pull a senior prank!
133
00:05:15,717 --> 00:05:17,924
Whoo!
Class of 2019!
134
00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:19,091
But we're
the class of 2020.
135
00:05:19,092 --> 00:05:20,549
Sorry. Old habits.
136
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,716
{\an8}I've got Silly String,
shaving cream, and clothes
137
00:05:28,717 --> 00:05:30,674
{\an8}to make the Minuteman
look like Principal Ablin.
138
00:05:30,675 --> 00:05:33,049
Let's get to work!
139
00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:34,591
But aren't we gonna
get in trouble?
140
00:05:34,592 --> 00:05:36,632
{\an8}Silly String and shaving cream
wipe off.
141
00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:37,799
{\an8}This is harmless fun.
142
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,550
Taylor, trust your mother.
143
00:05:45,383 --> 00:05:47,424
Whoa!
144
00:05:47,425 --> 00:05:49,341
This is so much better
than my prank.
145
00:05:49,342 --> 00:05:51,424
I was gonna spin around
real fast until I got dizzy.
146
00:05:51,425 --> 00:05:53,341
And?
That was the whole prank.
147
00:05:53,342 --> 00:05:54,424
Who's that pranking?
148
00:05:54,425 --> 00:05:55,382
My tummy, mostly.
149
00:05:55,383 --> 00:05:56,882
Oh, geez...
150
00:06:04,508 --> 00:06:06,799
Wow. That is
such a good Ablin.
151
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,049
We've gotta
send this to him.
152
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:10,632
Oh, sweetie.
I feel so alive!
153
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,466
But we should really get going
before we get caught.
154
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:14,841
Hang on.
Here is the finishing touch.
155
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:15,758
Mm!
156
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:25,466
Alright, come on down.
157
00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:30,882
Oh, my God, the statue!
I broke it!
158
00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,507
Oh, man.
Don't worry.
159
00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:35,549
I'm sure it snaps
right back in.
160
00:06:39,217 --> 00:06:43,216
I'm not gonna lie to you, kids.
This is not good.
161
00:06:49,550 --> 00:06:52,216
Okay,
thank you.
162
00:06:52,217 --> 00:06:54,466
That was
the Historical Guild.
163
00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:56,382
Apparently,
last night,
164
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,507
some monster desecrated
the school's Minuteman statue!
165
00:06:59,508 --> 00:07:02,007
Off with his head!
That's far too humane!
166
00:07:02,008 --> 00:07:03,299
If these
were Colonial days,
167
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,966
whoever did this
would be dragged by horses,
168
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:05,924
thrown off a cliff,
and--
169
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,008
Oh, you're making fun
of me.
170
00:07:11,425 --> 00:07:13,466
I can't take this.
I'm going to confess to Dad.
171
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,507
Taylor, if you take
responsibility for your actions,
172
00:07:15,508 --> 00:07:17,049
you are so grounded.
173
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:18,466
You are
the weirdest mom ever!
174
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:20,757
Look, the only way
we're getting out of this mess
175
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:23,008
is if we stick together
and keep our mouths shut.
176
00:07:24,092 --> 00:07:25,966
I did what you said,
Mrs. A.
177
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,591
I "took care" of the musket.
178
00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:29,841
I took
really good care of it.
179
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:31,549
It's cleaned and polished.
180
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,091
That's not at all
what I meant.
181
00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:34,924
I'm starting to think
I have a learning disability.
182
00:07:34,925 --> 00:07:37,842
Oh, sweetie.
183
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,507
Ugh! Holy crap,
it's Principal Ablin.
184
00:07:42,508 --> 00:07:43,841
We're caught!
185
00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:46,049
Trip, I am going to be
very clear here
186
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,507
so that
there's no confusion.
187
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,757
Bury the musket in the backyard
using a shovel,
188
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:52,174
and make sure that the musket
is fully covered with dirt
189
00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:54,174
so that it's not
sticking out of the ground.
190
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:55,924
"It" being the musket,
191
00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:58,382
and "the ground"
being the ground.
192
00:07:58,383 --> 00:07:59,549
See?
193
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,174
Why can't everyone
talk to me like that?
194
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:03,091
Coming!
195
00:08:05,592 --> 00:08:08,049
Principal Ablin!
What a surprise.
196
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,174
I've come
with terrible news.
197
00:08:10,175 --> 00:08:12,632
You're going to want
to sit down.
198
00:08:14,008 --> 00:08:17,216
The Westport Minuteman,
our school's beloved statue,
199
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:18,591
has been vandalized.
200
00:08:18,592 --> 00:08:21,257
What?!
201
00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,049
Do you have any idea
who did this?
202
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:25,007
Not yet.
That's why I'm here.
203
00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:26,466
I wanted to talk
to your husband.
204
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:29,424
Oh.
Um, Greg?!
205
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:32,549
I'm sure you know
about the attack.
206
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,132
I do.
207
00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:35,466
I was standing right there
when I heard the news.
208
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:38,174
I myself was near
the water fountain at school
209
00:08:38,175 --> 00:08:39,174
that doesn't have
enough pressure.
210
00:08:39,175 --> 00:08:41,466
Ah, the dribbler.
I know it well.
211
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:42,757
Since this is
a school matter,
212
00:08:42,758 --> 00:08:44,132
I'm keeping the investigation
in-house,
213
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,966
but I need someone
on my team
214
00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:47,757
with an intimate knowledge
of local history.
215
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:49,549
Will you help me catch
the criminals who did this?
216
00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,799
Of course.
For history!
217
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,966
For Westport!
For Mother!
218
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,924
Hello,
Dad and Principal.
219
00:08:55,925 --> 00:08:58,382
We were just outside
digging holes.
220
00:08:58,383 --> 00:08:59,924
We watched
the movie "Holes,"
221
00:08:59,925 --> 00:09:01,424
and we wanted
to dig holes
222
00:09:01,425 --> 00:09:03,049
like the holes they dug
in "Holes."
223
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:05,632
You probably
have no idea,
224
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:08,716
but your school's Minuteman
statue has been vandalized,
225
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:14,507
and Principal Ablin here
has no idea who did it.
226
00:09:14,508 --> 00:09:15,507
No idea.
227
00:09:15,508 --> 00:09:18,091
But I soon will.
228
00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:19,382
Spread the word, kids.
229
00:09:19,383 --> 00:09:20,757
Whichever senior
did this
230
00:09:20,758 --> 00:09:23,424
will not be able
to walk at graduation.
231
00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,758
Milady.
232
00:09:27,425 --> 00:09:29,341
Is he threatening
to break our legs?
233
00:09:29,342 --> 00:09:31,049
I'll explain later.
234
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:35,216
Okay, Franklin,
my brother and Cooper are here
235
00:09:35,217 --> 00:09:37,299
to get you ready
for your first cool-kid party.
236
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,424
Ooh, a makeover!
237
00:09:38,425 --> 00:09:40,549
But just so you know,
I'm happy with my frame,
238
00:09:40,550 --> 00:09:42,382
so I don't want
to get too buff.
239
00:09:42,383 --> 00:09:44,757
Franklin, the two
things you need to succeed
at a Westport party
240
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:47,049
are conversation skills
and a sick outfit.
241
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,299
Do you have
a go-to funny story?
242
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:49,382
Do I!
243
00:09:49,383 --> 00:09:51,382
Me and my Uncle Julius
were on a canoe trip,
244
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,924
and I had a fishing line
hanging off my extra toe--
245
00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:55,049
We're shutting this down
right now.
246
00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:56,882
I'll give you
one of my stories,
247
00:09:56,883 --> 00:09:58,882
you'll memorize it
and say it word for word.
248
00:09:58,883 --> 00:10:00,466
We need to lose
the tiger shirt.
249
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,549
Mm-hmm, definitely.
250
00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:03,133
And are you
wearing jeggings, Franklin?
251
00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:06,382
Oh, jeggings is
a much better name.
252
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:07,967
I've been
calling them leg-eans.
253
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:11,466
Let's get to work.
254
00:10:11,467 --> 00:10:14,674
The Minuteman was placed here
over 200 years ago.
255
00:10:14,675 --> 00:10:18,341
The school was actually
built around the statue in 1958.
256
00:10:18,342 --> 00:10:19,841
And here he stands,
257
00:10:19,842 --> 00:10:22,841
a symbol of those
who defended this town.
258
00:10:22,842 --> 00:10:25,132
Now it's our turn
to defend him.
259
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,257
What'd you say?
260
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:27,550
Nothing.
261
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:31,966
I'm going to take this
to the lab and get it tested.
262
00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:34,299
It's Silly String.
But can we be sure?
263
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,674
Yeah.
We can be sure.
Hmm.
264
00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:37,382
The lab will give us
a definitive answer.
265
00:10:37,383 --> 00:10:38,341
Now...
266
00:10:38,342 --> 00:10:39,591
Mm.
267
00:10:39,592 --> 00:10:41,674
What is this
mystery substance here?
268
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,174
It's very clearly
shaving cream.
269
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:45,050
Or is that what
the culprit wants us to think?
270
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:50,882
Only the lab
will know for sure.
What lab?
271
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:51,632
Well, it's not
a Labrador Retriever,
272
00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:52,758
I'll tell you that.
273
00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:55,507
That's a joke that
the professionals in
the lab taught me.
274
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:01,341
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht
275
00:11:01,342 --> 00:11:03,007
and they're bringing out
the caviar--
276
00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:05,716
No, no, no.
Wagyu steak skewers.
277
00:11:05,717 --> 00:11:07,216
If you can't
remember that,
278
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:08,757
then we're just going to
have to do the Prague story,
279
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,966
because they're not going to
serve caviar at Lake Como.
280
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:12,216
Not at
that time of year.
281
00:11:12,217 --> 00:11:14,382
Franklin,
if you want to remember Wagyu
282
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,049
just remember--
Wagyu, doo-doo.
283
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,549
He can remember anything
if you just put doo-doo in it.
284
00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:20,216
Watch this--
285
00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:22,716
Franklin, what's the
atomic number of titanium?
286
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:24,799
Two, two!
The system works.
287
00:11:26,008 --> 00:11:28,424
Katie,
can you move your car?
288
00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:30,382
Why don't you just take mine?
The keys are on the table.
289
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:32,382
Great.
See you later.
290
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:33,966
There's empty cans
of Silly String
291
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,299
and shaving cream
in the back seat!
292
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,799
I told you to dissolve those
in an acid bath!
293
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,132
We don't have any acid!
You didn't even
call Home Depot!
294
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,507
Go!
295
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:45,008
Wait! Dad!
296
00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:48,132
What's up, sweetie?
297
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,341
Um, I'm worried
about you and Mom.
298
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:52,382
What?
It's just I haven't
seen you guys kiss
299
00:11:52,383 --> 00:11:53,507
in a really long time.
300
00:11:53,508 --> 00:11:55,216
And I'm worried
about your marriage.
301
00:11:55,217 --> 00:11:56,382
Taylor,
that's insane.
302
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,966
Greg, our daughter
is clearly very upset.
303
00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:01,382
Let's show her that
our relationship is
as strong as ever.
304
00:12:01,383 --> 00:12:03,467
Well, I--
305
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:13,591
Thanks, guys.
306
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:15,174
That was great.
307
00:12:15,175 --> 00:12:17,257
Okay, good.
She feels better.
308
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,382
That was weird,
309
00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:20,466
but I'll take it.
310
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,757
I handed it to her,
she took a sip,
311
00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:26,632
and she said, "That's the best
lemonade I've ever had."
312
00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:28,924
And that's where Beyoncé got
the name for her album.
313
00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:30,632
I don't need credit, though.
314
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:31,924
The compliment
was enough.
315
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:33,549
You did it!
That's the story.
316
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:35,507
You told it from beginning
to end with no mistakes.
317
00:12:35,508 --> 00:12:36,966
And this outfit...
318
00:12:36,967 --> 00:12:39,424
If we could achieve this
with my Dad,
319
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,882
I could maybe get behind
being seen in public with him.
320
00:12:41,883 --> 00:12:43,674
What happens when he's done
telling the story?
321
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:44,674
What does he say then?
322
00:12:44,675 --> 00:12:46,257
After a story
like that,
323
00:12:46,258 --> 00:12:48,174
all he has to do
is lean against the wall,
324
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:49,549
sip some water,
and play it cool.
325
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,592
Coop,
show him.
326
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:55,174
Whoa.
327
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,007
Standing
and sipping water?
328
00:12:58,008 --> 00:13:00,258
It'll take some practice,
but I think I can do it.
329
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,341
Okay, here's what I've got
so far.
330
00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:06,466
Below the statue,
331
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:08,132
it says, "Seniors Rule,"
in shaving cream.
332
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,257
You were right.
333
00:13:09,258 --> 00:13:11,966
And you were right about
the Silly String, too.
334
00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:14,341
It cost me $200
to have a lab confirm that,
335
00:13:14,342 --> 00:13:17,757
plus a $250 speeding ticket
I got racing to the lab.
336
00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,799
Money well-spent.
337
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,799
So, since I've left,
you've made... zero progress.
338
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,216
It's shaving cream
and Silly String, Greg.
339
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:26,549
We now know that.
340
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:28,466
Why don't we check
the school's security cameras?
341
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,799
Those are fake.
But wasn't there
a fundraiser?
342
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,341
We used the money for
Restoration Hardware couches
for the teachers' lounge.
343
00:13:33,342 --> 00:13:34,466
Pretty sweet.
344
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:35,674
But without footage
or some evidence,
345
00:13:35,675 --> 00:13:36,882
we're never
going to solve this case.
346
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,341
All we need to do
is go to every store
347
00:13:38,342 --> 00:13:40,132
within a hundred-mile radius
that sells Silly String
348
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,382
and interview the clerks.
Aggressively.
349
00:13:42,383 --> 00:13:44,841
I don't know why I thought
this was going to be real.
350
00:13:47,925 --> 00:13:49,757
...and don't forget
351
00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:51,507
to attach
your bibliography.
352
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,466
Properly formatted!
353
00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:57,299
You do such a good
Mrs. Conway impression.
354
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,382
Why is Franklin over there
by himself?
355
00:14:01,092 --> 00:14:03,716
Oh, he's just jet lagged
from Italy.
356
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,007
Oh, my gosh, Italy?
I love Italy.
357
00:14:06,008 --> 00:14:07,966
Hey, Franklin,
Anna-Kat said
358
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:09,466
you just got back
from Europe.
359
00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:10,591
It was Italy, actually.
360
00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:13,341
You're just as funny
as Anna-Kat!
361
00:14:13,342 --> 00:14:16,549
Why don't you tell them
about your trip, Franklin?
362
00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:17,966
It was
so interesting
363
00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:19,966
and worthy of telling
other people about.
364
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,341
I'd love to.
365
00:14:21,342 --> 00:14:23,216
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht
366
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:25,382
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers--
367
00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:26,549
Lake Como?
368
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,549
Isn't that where
George Clooney has a place?
369
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:28,716
Uh...
370
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:30,674
Just keep going.
371
00:14:30,675 --> 00:14:32,716
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht...
372
00:14:32,717 --> 00:14:33,966
You already said that.
373
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:35,549
I know
but I only have it memorized
374
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:36,549
from the beginning.
375
00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:38,424
Wait, what do you mean
memorized?
376
00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:40,799
Just continue the story
from where you stopped.
377
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,257
So I'm in Lake Como
378
00:14:42,258 --> 00:14:43,716
on my dad's 78-foot yacht.
379
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:44,799
And they're bringing out
380
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,591
the doo-doo steaks--
I mean, Wag-doo.
381
00:14:46,592 --> 00:14:48,632
Shoot.
What do I do?
382
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:50,174
Just do
the water thing.
383
00:14:50,175 --> 00:14:52,966
Pardon me for a minute,
I've developed a thirst.
384
00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:58,049
Franklin!
No. Abort!
385
00:14:58,050 --> 00:15:01,257
Franklin!
No! Stop!
386
00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:04,341
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht,
387
00:15:04,342 --> 00:15:07,132
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers...
388
00:15:12,425 --> 00:15:14,382
So it turns out
389
00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:17,674
Principal Ablin's
no Hercule Poirot.
I'm sorry, who?
390
00:15:17,675 --> 00:15:19,632
He's no Inspector Gadget.
Got it.
391
00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:21,507
We're never going to find out
who damaged that statue.
392
00:15:21,508 --> 00:15:24,132
Don't give up, Mr. A.
You're better than that.
393
00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:25,591
Give up, Mr. A.
394
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,174
You're not
better than that.
395
00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:28,424
Well,
this is a real shame.
396
00:15:28,425 --> 00:15:29,716
It will forever
remain unsolved,
397
00:15:29,717 --> 00:15:31,174
like who killed Biggie.
398
00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:36,967
Why does Luthor have
the Minuteman's musket?
399
00:15:38,883 --> 00:15:41,924
He must have attacked
the vandals
400
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:44,216
and kept the musket
as a trophy.
401
00:15:44,217 --> 00:15:45,591
Good boy,
Luthor!
402
00:15:45,592 --> 00:15:47,133
Well,
case closed.
403
00:15:49,258 --> 00:15:50,674
You're right.
404
00:15:50,675 --> 00:15:52,924
Luthor is the vandal.
405
00:15:52,925 --> 00:15:54,258
Case closed.
406
00:15:56,258 --> 00:15:57,467
Case closed!
407
00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:05,841
Okay,
what the hell is going on?
408
00:16:05,842 --> 00:16:08,966
Well, clearly someone
broke into our backyard
409
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,341
and buried the musket
in an effort to frame us.
410
00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:12,799
No.
411
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,632
Me, Trip, and Mom
vandalized the statue.
412
00:16:14,633 --> 00:16:16,174
And that's why
you're not my favorite.
413
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,174
We let you down,
Mrs. A.
414
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:20,841
I'm sorry we're not the
criminals you wanted us to be.
415
00:16:20,842 --> 00:16:23,550
I'm going to return the
musket and tell Ablin
who's responsible.
416
00:16:25,008 --> 00:16:27,549
Good job, Luthor.
417
00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:29,174
Idiot.
418
00:16:33,508 --> 00:16:36,132
Oh, there you are.
419
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:39,507
I didn't do such a good job
being cool, did I?
420
00:16:39,508 --> 00:16:41,132
It's okay, Franklin.
421
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,549
You know, this isn't really
my scene, man.
422
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:45,007
I'm just
going to stay in here
423
00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,549
for the rest
of the party.
424
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,841
Okay, want me
to get you anything?
425
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,132
I'll take more of that
flower water if they have it.
426
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:52,507
That stuff is good.
427
00:16:52,508 --> 00:16:54,591
I'll see
what I can do.
428
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:02,591
♪ And in
the bad times, I fear myself ♪
429
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:17,799
♪ I'm off the deep end,
watch as I dive in ♪
430
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:22,216
♪ I'll never meet the ground ♪
431
00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:27,757
♪ Crash through the surface,
where they can't hurt us ♪
432
00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:32,424
♪ We're far
from the shallow now ♪
433
00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:38,007
♪ In the sha-ha, sha-ha-low ♪
434
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:42,924
♪ In the sha-,
sha-la-la-la-low ♪
435
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:47,882
♪ In the sha-ha, sha-ha-low ♪
436
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:53,341
♪ We're far
from the shallow now ♪
437
00:18:02,175 --> 00:18:04,216
Franklin,
that was beautiful!
438
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,466
I didn't know
you knew how to play the piano.
439
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:07,716
Your voice is--
440
00:18:07,717 --> 00:18:09,132
Like an angel.
I know.
441
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:12,132
I never should've listened
to Oliver and Cooper.
442
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,341
You're perfect
just being you.
443
00:18:14,342 --> 00:18:15,591
I'm always myself.
444
00:18:15,592 --> 00:18:17,257
Except when I'm the ghost
of my Uncle Julius
445
00:18:17,258 --> 00:18:18,966
who died
in that canoe accident.
446
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:22,299
Franklin, I'm sorry
I tried to change you.
447
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:23,966
That's okay.
448
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:25,216
I know I'm weird.
449
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:27,299
But I really
like myself.
450
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,299
I could do without
the chronic lower back pain,
451
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,175
but I heard it gets better
as you get older.
452
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,341
Principal Ablin.
453
00:18:56,342 --> 00:18:57,549
Good news.
454
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,882
As you can see,
I'm this close to solving it.
455
00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,424
Now all I have to do
456
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:02,799
is replace these question marks
with names and faces.
457
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,924
I know who did it.
458
00:19:04,925 --> 00:19:06,424
It was me.
459
00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:08,883
I knew it!
460
00:19:10,258 --> 00:19:11,966
It's the only reason
I put you on the case,
461
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:13,049
to keep
my enemies close.
462
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:14,549
You almost
got away with it.
463
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:17,341
But nobody escapes...
Ablin Justice.
464
00:19:17,342 --> 00:19:18,549
But I turned myself in.
465
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,549
Potato potato.
466
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:26,132
I can't believe we're not
walking at graduation.
467
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:27,466
Again.
468
00:19:28,758 --> 00:19:30,882
I'm really sorry, guys.
469
00:19:30,883 --> 00:19:33,632
So I talked
with Principal Ablin.
470
00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:35,549
Taylor and Trip should be
allowed to walk graduation.
471
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,174
Taylor worked
so hard this year,
472
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,966
I thought she just deserved
a little fun.
473
00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:42,132
This is on me. I'm going
to go tell Ablin that
I broke the statue.
474
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:44,216
Too late.
I already told him I did it.
475
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,091
You what?
And as punishment,
he's putting me
476
00:19:46,092 --> 00:19:47,424
on the school's
recycling committee
477
00:19:47,425 --> 00:19:48,799
even though I founded
the committee,
478
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,757
and I'm still not sure why
he'd think that's a punishment.
479
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,258
Thank you!
Oh.
480
00:19:53,383 --> 00:19:56,257
Mr. A, thanks,
but why'd you take the blame?
481
00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:57,382
Sometimes it's okay
to break the rules,
482
00:19:57,383 --> 00:19:58,799
especially when
it's to protect your kid.
483
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,382
That is what I've been saying
the whole time!
484
00:20:00,383 --> 00:20:02,132
No, you haven't been saying that
at all.
485
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,257
What you've
been saying is,
486
00:20:03,258 --> 00:20:05,674
your best memories
involve breaking the rules,
487
00:20:05,675 --> 00:20:07,757
and I realized
my best memory does, too.
488
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,174
Back when I was a TA
in college,
489
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,757
there was this cute,
vivacious student I
really wanted to ask out,
490
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:14,591
but it was
strictly forbidden.
491
00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:17,341
So, I broke the rules,
asked her out anyway.
492
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,341
Look at that.
493
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,757
Without a little
rule breaking,
494
00:20:19,758 --> 00:20:21,341
this family
wouldn't even exist.
495
00:20:21,342 --> 00:20:23,174
Aww.
496
00:20:23,175 --> 00:20:24,674
Do you know
what you're awwing about?
497
00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:26,757
No, but your dad
told a long story
498
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,299
and your mom didn't say
anything mean, so...
499
00:20:36,342 --> 00:20:38,341
Hey, guys.
500
00:20:38,342 --> 00:20:40,591
So?
How'd our boy do?
501
00:20:40,592 --> 00:20:43,049
Franklin was amazing!
That does it.
502
00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:45,257
We're opening a finishing school
for high-class boys.
503
00:20:45,258 --> 00:20:47,424
It actually had nothing to do
with your advice.
504
00:20:47,425 --> 00:20:49,341
I never should've listened
to you dummies.
505
00:20:49,342 --> 00:20:50,632
And this outfit
is all wrong.
506
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:52,716
You don't cover up these guns.
You show them off.
507
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:54,091
Then what happened?
508
00:20:54,092 --> 00:20:55,924
Turns out,
Franklin doesn't need your help.
509
00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:57,507
{\an8}There's tons
we don't know about him.
510
00:20:57,508 --> 00:20:59,257
{\an8}Did you know
he's a black belt in karate?
511
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,175
{\an8}There's no way
you're a black belt in karate.
512
00:21:02,842 --> 00:21:04,800
{\an8}Shut him up,
Franklin.
513
00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:17,049
{\an8}I learned it from watching
"Walker, Texas Ranger."
514
00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:18,758
{\an8}I don't even know
what to believe anymore.
37804
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