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1
00:00:00,464 --> 00:00:01,781
Second Breakfast.
2
00:00:01,782 --> 00:00:03,990
My safe place--
a place I can complain
3
00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:05,552
about my husband
and bitch about my children.
4
00:00:05,553 --> 00:00:07,552
It's cheaper than therapy,
and there's pancakes.
5
00:00:07,553 --> 00:00:10,177
And there are my best friends,
who listen to me,
6
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,594
give me advice,
and keep me from driving
7
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,052
my car into the lake.
8
00:00:13,053 --> 00:00:15,636
What am I talking about?
The kids are too big now.
9
00:00:15,637 --> 00:00:18,011
They will just wrestle the
steering wheel away from me.
10
00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:20,594
I have a big problem.
11
00:00:20,595 --> 00:00:23,177
Ah.
Oliver's taller than me.
12
00:00:24,845 --> 00:00:26,511
Are you guys listening?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
13
00:00:26,512 --> 00:00:28,219
Anna-Kat's weird.
Oliver likes money.
14
00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,386
I didn't say any of that.
15
00:00:29,387 --> 00:00:30,552
Oh.
Taylor's dumb?
16
00:00:30,553 --> 00:00:33,136
No! Oliver is taller
than me!
17
00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:35,136
I like to look down
at him when I'm yelling.
18
00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:37,761
"Because I said so"
doesn't have the same impact
19
00:00:37,762 --> 00:00:39,177
when I'm staring
up at his nostrils.
20
00:00:40,512 --> 00:00:41,677
I know.
21
00:00:41,678 --> 00:00:43,136
Hello?!
22
00:00:43,137 --> 00:00:44,594
I'm workshopping
a problem here.
23
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:46,219
Sorry,
we're a little distracted.
24
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,844
Oh, Angela's hot
new girlfriend, Jane,
25
00:00:47,845 --> 00:00:50,344
has an even hotter
brother named Charlie.
26
00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:52,802
Mm-hmm. We went
fancy bowling last night.
27
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,011
Jane scored
a perfect game.
28
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,969
And Charlie scored big, too!
Up top!
29
00:00:57,803 --> 00:00:58,886
You had a fun night.
30
00:00:58,887 --> 00:01:00,719
Glad we covered that.
So, Oliver--
31
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,677
You know, Charlie and Doris
really hit it off.
32
00:01:02,678 --> 00:01:04,094
Oh, he hit it,
all right.
33
00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:05,177
Mm-hmm.
Boom-shaka-laka!
34
00:01:06,803 --> 00:01:08,719
You think you're going
on a second date?
35
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,927
Oh, yeah.
We're gonna go hiking
36
00:01:09,928 --> 00:01:11,261
with them tomorrow morning.
Mm.
37
00:01:11,262 --> 00:01:12,761
We might be a little late
for Second Breakfast.
38
00:01:12,762 --> 00:01:13,886
Late?!
39
00:01:13,887 --> 00:01:15,469
You're late for
your kid's music recital,
40
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:16,886
not Second Breakfast!
41
00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:18,177
This is important.
42
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:19,427
How about you come
hiking with us?
43
00:01:19,428 --> 00:01:20,802
Yeah.
Absolutely not.
44
00:01:20,803 --> 00:01:22,427
Hiking is
on my "no" list.
45
00:01:22,428 --> 00:01:25,261
No hiking, no nutmeg,
no fake-ass veggie meat.
46
00:01:25,262 --> 00:01:27,511
But I remember you
saying you liked it.
47
00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:30,219
Before I knew
I was being tricked.
48
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:31,219
Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:32,927
Delicious,
fake-ass veggie meat.
50
00:01:39,803 --> 00:01:41,136
Hey, guys.
How was school?
51
00:01:41,137 --> 00:01:42,302
Eh.
Eh.
52
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,302
Terrific.
53
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:45,053
Oh.
54
00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:48,219
Mustard?!
55
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:49,386
Well, I'm sorry you don't
like the mustard
56
00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,011
on my sandwich.
57
00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:52,677
Don't be sorry.
Just don't do it again.
58
00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:54,886
Mm.
Dad, I had an awesome day.
59
00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:57,052
We got our Popsicle-stick
project assignments.
60
00:01:57,053 --> 00:01:58,302
I got Fort Trumbull.
61
00:01:58,303 --> 00:02:00,719
Fort Trumbull!
Built in 1777!
62
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,344
A fortification to protect
the government of Connecticut!
63
00:02:02,345 --> 00:02:03,969
How exciting!
64
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:05,344
Popsicle-stick projects
are a milestone
65
00:02:05,345 --> 00:02:06,469
in any child's life.
66
00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:07,886
Taylor, remember
the Popsicle-stick
67
00:02:07,887 --> 00:02:08,677
Brooklyn Bridge
we made together?
68
00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:10,386
Nope.
69
00:02:10,387 --> 00:02:12,011
And, Oliver, remember
we had such a blast
70
00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,177
making our Popsicle-stick
U.N. headquarters?
71
00:02:13,178 --> 00:02:14,761
Nope.
72
00:02:14,762 --> 00:02:15,969
Well, I got an "A"
on both of them.
73
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,927
I'm gonna go do
some research.
74
00:02:17,928 --> 00:02:19,177
Well, this is
gonna be great!
75
00:02:19,178 --> 00:02:21,344
And your mom called me
a weirdo because I had
76
00:02:21,345 --> 00:02:23,761
people from work bring in
their used Popsicle sticks.
77
00:02:23,762 --> 00:02:25,761
You know they sell them
at Michaels for, like,
78
00:02:25,762 --> 00:02:26,928
one dollar
for a thousand.
79
00:02:28,137 --> 00:02:29,552
I did not.
80
00:02:29,553 --> 00:02:31,969
Hi!
Hi, honey.
81
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:34,136
Ooh, a snack!
82
00:02:35,762 --> 00:02:38,052
Mustard.
Who likes mustard?
83
00:02:38,053 --> 00:02:40,469
I do! The guy who
made the sandwich!
84
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,427
I'm gonna eat this
in my office.
85
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,094
Ugh.
86
00:02:44,095 --> 00:02:46,261
Wait, come back here.
Let's go back-to-back.
87
00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:48,261
Again?
88
00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:49,469
Taylor,
who's taller?
89
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,469
Oliver. Still.
90
00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:52,802
Damn it!
91
00:02:52,803 --> 00:02:54,594
I've outgrown you, woman.
Deal with it.
92
00:02:54,595 --> 00:02:56,344
Go pick up Luther's poop
in the front yard.
93
00:02:56,345 --> 00:02:58,302
Are you punishing me
for being taller than you?
94
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,761
Yes, I am.
95
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,594
And now I'm punishing you
for pointing out
96
00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:02,844
how ridiculous that is.
97
00:03:02,845 --> 00:03:04,427
It's Taylor's turn
to pick up poop.
98
00:03:04,428 --> 00:03:06,011
No way!
I did it yesterday!
99
00:03:06,012 --> 00:03:07,969
Oh, look who thinks she
can keep track of days now.
100
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,927
Okay. Here's how
it's gonna go down--
101
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,511
both of you are
doing it together
102
00:03:11,512 --> 00:03:12,636
for the rest
of the week.
103
00:03:12,637 --> 00:03:14,052
That is so unfair!
104
00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:15,219
Well, you should have
thought about that before
105
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,636
you let your brother
get taller than me.
106
00:03:16,637 --> 00:03:18,177
You're insane.
107
00:03:18,178 --> 00:03:20,678
I'm a mother of three!
Of course I'm insane!
108
00:03:26,887 --> 00:03:30,886
So, I've boiled and sterilized
my coworkers' Popsicle sticks.
109
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:32,219
You know you can get them
at Michaels for like--
110
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:33,844
I know. I've heard.
111
00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:34,927
Next, we draw up
a blueprint.
112
00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:37,136
{\an8}I'll need a dozen
sharpened pencils,
113
00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:38,927
{\an8}a few yards of
waterproof vellum paper,
114
00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,220
{\an8}and one Oreo.
115
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,052
Not for the project.
I've just been good today.
116
00:03:43,053 --> 00:03:45,886
Thanks for your help, Dad,
but I got this.
117
00:03:45,887 --> 00:03:47,636
You want to make
the fort by yourself?
118
00:03:47,637 --> 00:03:50,052
{\an8}But we were such
a good team when we made
119
00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:52,219
{\an8}our Berlin Wall
out of German egg noodles.
120
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,177
{\an8}Which look just like
normal egg noodles, but we knew.
121
00:03:54,178 --> 00:03:55,344
{\an8}We knew.
122
00:03:55,345 --> 00:03:57,761
{\an8}Aah, I can't say
no to that face.
123
00:03:57,762 --> 00:04:01,469
{\an8}Such soft, delicate features,
like an old, sick woman.
124
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,136
{\an8}It's your turn,
and you know it.
125
00:04:08,137 --> 00:04:10,969
{\an8}Boy, first thing in
the morning, you look like...
126
00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,136
{\an8}hmm, well, what we're
putting in these bags.
127
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:14,844
{\an8}Me?
Look at you.
128
00:04:14,845 --> 00:04:16,052
{\an8}Nice shirt.
129
00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:18,261
{\an8}Thanks. Some guy
shot me in the face with it
130
00:04:18,262 --> 00:04:19,552
{\an8}at a Knicks game.
131
00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:21,428
Oh.
132
00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:28,427
{\an8}Wait, was that the...?
133
00:04:28,428 --> 00:04:30,261
{\an8}Street Pics Car?
134
00:04:30,262 --> 00:04:31,344
{\an8}They just took our picture!
135
00:04:31,345 --> 00:04:34,344
{\an8}But my clothes!
136
00:04:34,345 --> 00:04:37,177
{\an8}My hair!
137
00:04:37,178 --> 00:04:38,886
{\an8}We're gonna look like this
on Street Pics forever!
138
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,677
{\an8}We actually look worse
than the house,
139
00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:42,011
{\an8}which I didn't think
was possible.
140
00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:43,802
{\an8}We need to find that car
and make sure that photo
141
00:04:43,803 --> 00:04:44,802
{\an8}never sees
the light of day.
142
00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:46,302
What are we gonna do?
Run after it?
143
00:04:46,303 --> 00:04:47,886
In my panda slippers?
144
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,261
{\an8}Think of something!
You think of something!
145
00:04:50,262 --> 00:04:51,844
{\an8}Oh, wait, I'll think
of something.
146
00:04:56,845 --> 00:04:58,552
Okay if we borrow
these chairs?
147
00:04:58,553 --> 00:04:59,969
{\an8}Actually, they're taken.
148
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,219
{\an8}My friends are just
running late.
149
00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:02,470
They should be here any minute.
150
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,344
I'm not alone.
151
00:05:09,345 --> 00:05:10,719
{\an8}I'm just waiting
for my friends.
152
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:16,095
Are your kids
taller than you?
153
00:05:23,595 --> 00:05:27,219
Hi. Are you here
by yourself?
154
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:29,011
Apparently I am.
155
00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:30,428
But I guess if you would
like to join...
156
00:05:33,387 --> 00:05:36,177
This is a downside to how
popular I was in high school.
157
00:05:36,178 --> 00:05:38,177
I am completely unprepared
for this situation.
158
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:41,177
Do I flip the table
or just leave?
159
00:05:41,178 --> 00:05:43,344
Just leave.
160
00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:46,552
And... done!
161
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,136
Fort Trumbull
is complete!
162
00:05:48,137 --> 00:05:49,552
Let's wait for
the glue to dry,
163
00:05:49,553 --> 00:05:51,427
and I'll paint the cardboard
to look more like a lawn.
164
00:05:51,428 --> 00:05:53,844
Or-- and here's
a really great idea--
165
00:05:53,845 --> 00:05:56,136
we put fake grass down
to make it look more authentic.
166
00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:57,219
I think I just
want to paint it.
167
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:58,802
I used fake grass
on Oliver's project,
168
00:05:58,803 --> 00:06:00,261
and we got extra credit.
169
00:06:00,262 --> 00:06:02,677
His teacher said it was
"well done" and "unnecessary."
170
00:06:02,678 --> 00:06:04,177
Painting is fine.
171
00:06:04,178 --> 00:06:05,594
It'll look way better
with turf.
172
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:07,386
Besides, it gives me a reason
to go to the Hobby Shop.
173
00:06:07,387 --> 00:06:08,552
I like to go to
the miniature section
174
00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:10,011
and pretend I'm a giant.
175
00:06:10,012 --> 00:06:11,677
It really brings
the store down.
176
00:06:15,053 --> 00:06:18,844
They dumped me for a stupid
hike with Jane and Charlie.
177
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,094
I have things I have to
talk to them about--
178
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,677
Oliver getting taller,
"The Bachelor."
179
00:06:22,678 --> 00:06:24,136
You can talk to me.
180
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:25,511
I can't talk to you
about "The Bachelor."
181
00:06:25,512 --> 00:06:27,094
You're all, "Who's paying
for all these dates?
182
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,469
The helicopter budget
alone must be insane."
183
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,261
You ruin it, Greg.
184
00:06:31,262 --> 00:06:34,094
I'm just saying, one day
the helicopters won't be there.
185
00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:36,261
And what is this
couple left with?
186
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:38,844
Hard marital work.
187
00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:42,844
How could Doris and Angela
stand me up?
188
00:06:42,845 --> 00:06:45,469
Second Breakfast
is sacred!
189
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,094
I know it sucks
you got stood up,
190
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:48,761
but it sounds like
you might be overreacting.
191
00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:49,636
You know,
if it weren't for you,
192
00:06:49,637 --> 00:06:51,011
I wouldn't be
in this situation.
193
00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:52,219
With Angela and Doris?
194
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:54,636
No, with Oliver.
195
00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:57,427
You're tall,
now he's getting tall.
196
00:06:57,428 --> 00:06:58,886
I should have
married Bobby Hudson.
197
00:06:58,887 --> 00:06:59,969
Who?
198
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:02,302
My high-school boyfriend.
He's 5'6".
199
00:07:02,303 --> 00:07:03,887
He would have guaranteed me
Hobbit children.
200
00:07:05,303 --> 00:07:07,886
Okay, instead of taking
your frustrations out on me,
201
00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:09,302
why don't you tell
Doris and Angela
202
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,136
how you feel about
them standing you up?
203
00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:12,927
You're right.
204
00:07:12,928 --> 00:07:15,511
I am gonna give them
a taste of their own medicine
205
00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:17,594
and teach them what
it feels like to be replaced.
206
00:07:17,595 --> 00:07:18,927
That's not what I said.
207
00:07:18,928 --> 00:07:19,927
I realize that,
208
00:07:19,928 --> 00:07:21,344
but I smartened you up
in my head.
209
00:07:21,345 --> 00:07:22,261
You're welcome.
210
00:07:27,303 --> 00:07:29,469
These are the top ten most
humiliating images
211
00:07:29,470 --> 00:07:30,261
caught by Street Pics.
212
00:07:30,262 --> 00:07:32,511
This could be us.
213
00:07:35,095 --> 00:07:36,677
What kind of person
keeps a Hello Kitty
214
00:07:36,678 --> 00:07:38,594
Nativity scene
in their front yard?
215
00:07:38,595 --> 00:07:39,969
The same kind of person
who wears
216
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,886
an "I farted. So what?"
T-shirt.
217
00:07:41,887 --> 00:07:43,552
Like you should talk.
218
00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:44,719
You looked like
a Troll doll from
219
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,177
the opioid crisis
collection.
220
00:07:46,178 --> 00:07:48,552
That picture of us could
be on the Internet forever.
221
00:07:48,553 --> 00:07:50,552
If Cooper's
helicopter can't locate
222
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,802
the Street Pics guy,
we'll have to move off the grid.
223
00:07:52,803 --> 00:07:54,177
Somewhere we catch
our own rainwater
224
00:07:54,178 --> 00:07:55,594
and drink
our own urine.
225
00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,344
Why would we have to
drink our own urine
226
00:07:57,345 --> 00:07:58,636
if we have rainwater?
227
00:07:58,637 --> 00:07:59,762
We just do, okay?
228
00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:04,969
You know who would win
the award for
229
00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:06,969
loudest chewing of a banana?
230
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,594
Greg.
231
00:08:08,595 --> 00:08:09,802
I stopped buying bananas,
232
00:08:09,803 --> 00:08:11,594
but he now steals them
from work.
233
00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:13,761
What's happening?
234
00:08:13,762 --> 00:08:15,719
Did you know that Greg
adjusts the mirrors
235
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,927
every time
he gets in his car?
236
00:08:16,928 --> 00:08:18,552
What does he think changed?
237
00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,219
Why are you calling
Dad "Greg"?
238
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,177
Is this because
Doris and Angela ditched you?
239
00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:24,344
Are you trying to make us
your breakfast friends?
240
00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:26,011
No. No, no, no, no, no.
241
00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:28,386
Greg got up to pee
four times last night,
242
00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:29,969
and it wouldn't be that bad,
but every time he got back
243
00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:31,552
in the bed, it was
like a hippopotamus
244
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,261
flopping down next to me.
245
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,594
Stop badmouthing Dad!
246
00:08:34,595 --> 00:08:36,386
He's nice, and he taught me
how to ride a bike.
247
00:08:36,387 --> 00:08:37,761
All right, let's move on.
248
00:08:37,762 --> 00:08:40,261
My kids, they're
kind of the worst.
249
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:44,261
Cooper's helicopter located
the Street Pics car.
250
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,594
It's in
downtown Fairfield.
251
00:08:45,595 --> 00:08:47,636
Let's go. We have to make
him retake the photo.
252
00:08:47,637 --> 00:08:49,844
Have a great day!
Make good choices!
253
00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:50,720
Stop growing!
254
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:54,094
Ohh.
255
00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:01,927
Hey!
256
00:09:01,928 --> 00:09:03,344
You're the "I farted.
So what?" guy!
257
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:04,677
We need to talk to you.
258
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,511
You're
Rat's Nest Poop Shovel!
259
00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:09,511
Listen, we need you
to come back to our house
260
00:09:09,512 --> 00:09:10,761
and retake the photo.
261
00:09:10,762 --> 00:09:13,177
Oh. We don't do that.
262
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,344
But you have to.
263
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,969
That's not how
I want to be remembered.
264
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,761
I want to be remembered
for doing something great,
265
00:09:17,762 --> 00:09:20,761
like curing cancer or winning
"Dancing With the Stars."
266
00:09:20,762 --> 00:09:22,636
Okay, I'll circle back
and retake it.
267
00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:24,094
Yes!
Thank you!
268
00:09:24,095 --> 00:09:25,302
On one condition.
269
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,886
Fine, my sister will go
on a date with you.
270
00:09:27,887 --> 00:09:30,261
No. I want that
fancy Westport belt.
271
00:09:30,262 --> 00:09:31,761
No deal.
272
00:09:31,762 --> 00:09:33,344
This Ferragamo belt
means more to me than
273
00:09:33,345 --> 00:09:34,886
any member
of my family.
274
00:09:34,887 --> 00:09:36,261
It's either the belt
or looking stupid
275
00:09:36,262 --> 00:09:37,637
on the Internet forever.
276
00:09:40,095 --> 00:09:42,094
Can't you just go out
with my sister?
277
00:09:42,095 --> 00:09:43,219
She just got
that vaccine.
278
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:44,469
Shut up!
279
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:46,345
It's the belt
or no reshoot.
280
00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:57,177
All right!
281
00:09:57,178 --> 00:09:58,511
I'll come by at some point.
282
00:09:58,512 --> 00:09:59,969
When, exactly?
283
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:01,969
Oh, I can't give you
a specific time.
284
00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:02,927
Do you want
a four-hour window?
285
00:10:02,928 --> 00:10:04,219
Yeah.
286
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:05,677
Eh, I can't give you
that either.
287
00:10:05,678 --> 00:10:06,803
Bye!
288
00:10:11,303 --> 00:10:13,719
We have to stay
inside at all times.
289
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,719
And if we do go outside,
we have to be
290
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,844
our best-dressed
just in case he's driving by.
291
00:10:17,845 --> 00:10:19,844
Ferragamo!
292
00:10:34,345 --> 00:10:36,511
It's so crazy that we're dating
a brother and a sister.
293
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,677
I know.
294
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,219
Wait, is that
gross or hot?
295
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:40,594
Oh, it's hot.
296
00:10:40,595 --> 00:10:42,011
Now, if they were twins,
it would be gross.
297
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,302
It's a real fine line
with this stuff.
298
00:10:43,303 --> 00:10:44,677
Ew.
299
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,302
Oh!
300
00:10:46,303 --> 00:10:47,886
Katie cancelled.
301
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:50,427
On bottomless
raspberry-lemonade day?
302
00:10:50,428 --> 00:10:52,052
That's strange.
303
00:10:52,053 --> 00:10:53,552
Mm.
304
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:57,262
All right, besties,
welcome to Second Breakfast!
305
00:11:02,637 --> 00:11:04,844
You think she's mad 'cause
we went hiking yesterday?
306
00:11:04,845 --> 00:11:07,219
She's mad that hiking is
a thing, so, yeah, probably.
307
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,552
Mm-hmm.
308
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,594
Hey!
309
00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:13,052
Just got back from
the Hobby Shop.
310
00:11:13,053 --> 00:11:14,802
Some other guy wanted
this roll of perennial rye,
311
00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:15,844
but I beat him out.
312
00:11:15,845 --> 00:11:17,970
I guess you could say
we had a "turf" war.
313
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,844
None of that happened.
314
00:11:20,845 --> 00:11:22,761
I was just setting up a joke
I thought of in the car.
315
00:11:22,762 --> 00:11:24,427
I said I didn't
need grass.
316
00:11:24,428 --> 00:11:25,802
Everyone says that
until they see it.
317
00:11:25,803 --> 00:11:26,802
Where's the fort?
318
00:11:26,803 --> 00:11:29,427
I turned it in already.
319
00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:30,636
It's not due
until Thursday.
320
00:11:30,637 --> 00:11:31,969
It was finished.
321
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:33,552
How could it be finished
when I'm sitting here
322
00:11:33,553 --> 00:11:34,761
holding a roll of
Connecticut perennial rye?!
323
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,886
Trust me.
It was good enough.
324
00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:38,969
Good enough?
Good enough?!
325
00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,552
Dad, it's my project.
326
00:11:40,553 --> 00:11:42,552
Yeah, it's your project,
but you're my project,
327
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:44,552
and if you're willing to
turn in some slapdash
328
00:11:44,553 --> 00:11:46,552
grassless trash for class,
then I'm failing.
329
00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:48,095
And, yeah,
my flow is sick!
330
00:11:54,345 --> 00:11:56,052
Why is that funny?
331
00:11:56,053 --> 00:11:57,886
My nicked colon
is no laughing matter.
332
00:11:57,887 --> 00:12:00,927
It's important that we look like
we're enjoying ourselves.
333
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,761
Maria, why did you
have to bring him?
334
00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:04,927
I have news.
We're officially courting.
335
00:12:04,928 --> 00:12:06,761
We now do
everything together.
336
00:12:06,762 --> 00:12:07,678
Except number two.
Yep.
337
00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,011
"Number two"
is grocery shopping.
338
00:12:10,012 --> 00:12:11,011
I prefer to do it myself.
339
00:12:11,012 --> 00:12:12,136
Oh.
340
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:14,011
Oh, good.
They're watching.
341
00:12:14,012 --> 00:12:15,720
Ablin, pretend like
you're having fun.
342
00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,553
Stop that!
Maria, control your man!
343
00:12:21,887 --> 00:12:23,719
We don't do
stuff like that.
344
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,886
The point of Second Breakfast
is to bond
345
00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:28,094
and air any grievances
in your life.
346
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,886
My mom fell
and broke her hip and--
347
00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:31,137
Usually,
we start with me.
348
00:12:32,345 --> 00:12:33,886
Have you ever
had friends that don't
349
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,261
value loyalty
or tradition?!
350
00:12:37,262 --> 00:12:39,178
All of my ferrets
have betrayed me.
351
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:43,844
Ablin, keep telling that
hilarious colon story.
352
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:47,052
Okay, um,
I became septic.
353
00:12:47,053 --> 00:12:48,594
The pain was so great
that I actually
354
00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:50,136
begged them to kill me.
355
00:12:52,262 --> 00:12:54,344
Oh, hi.
356
00:12:54,345 --> 00:12:55,511
Didn't see you there.
357
00:12:55,512 --> 00:12:56,636
Katie, why are you
being like this?
358
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:58,261
I'm not being
like anything.
359
00:12:58,262 --> 00:12:59,886
You have new people
in your life,
360
00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:01,802
and I've got
new people in mine.
361
00:13:01,803 --> 00:13:03,677
We texted you.
We were on a hike.
362
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:04,886
We're allowed to
go hiking, Katie.
363
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:06,636
In fact, we're going
again this afternoon.
364
00:13:07,762 --> 00:13:09,594
Katie, we're allowed
to have lives
365
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:11,136
outside of
Second Breakfast.
366
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:13,802
I couldn't agree more.
I have one right here.
367
00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:16,802
Maybe Second Breakfast
is getting in the way
368
00:13:16,803 --> 00:13:19,636
of these other
fantastic lives we have.
369
00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:21,386
Really? Are you
seriously doing this?
370
00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:22,761
Oh, I'm doing it.
371
00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:25,427
This is my new table with
my new friends, Maria and Abbie.
372
00:13:25,428 --> 00:13:27,136
Okay.
Oh, well, if you want to
be like that, fine.
373
00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:29,220
Fine!
374
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,802
Then the morphine
kicked in, and, uh,
375
00:13:35,803 --> 00:13:36,969
well, I got
addicted to that.
376
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:38,637
Please stop.
377
00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:49,719
Ohh, there you are.
378
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,344
I am done
with Second Breakfast!
379
00:13:52,345 --> 00:13:55,136
Doris and Angela are starting
new lives without me.
380
00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:57,344
Well, Anna-Kat finished
her project without me.
381
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:59,886
I mean, remember this one
I did with Oliver?
382
00:13:59,887 --> 00:14:01,886
We made the Parthenon
out of marshmallows.
383
00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:03,052
Mm.
384
00:14:03,053 --> 00:14:07,261
And here's Taylor's
toothpick Eiffel Tower.
385
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,886
I lit it for Bastille Day.
386
00:14:09,887 --> 00:14:11,469
Working on these
was so fun.
387
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,802
And now it's over.
388
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,844
She was my last kid,
389
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:17,594
with the last
elementary-school project.
390
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,594
Should we...?
391
00:14:18,595 --> 00:14:21,219
Have another baby?
Sure!
392
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:22,594
If you want
to carry it.
393
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,802
You know,
if I could, I would.
394
00:14:23,803 --> 00:14:24,761
And I would do
natural childbirth.
395
00:14:24,762 --> 00:14:25,802
I'd want to feel it.
396
00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:27,427
Oh, you'd feel it.
397
00:14:27,428 --> 00:14:29,427
Anna-Kat was 11 pounds.
398
00:14:29,428 --> 00:14:31,052
They had to rebuild
my undercarriage
399
00:14:31,053 --> 00:14:32,761
with a scrunchy
and part of my thigh.
400
00:14:32,762 --> 00:14:34,594
Charming.
401
00:14:34,595 --> 00:14:37,011
Meanwhile, that
11-pound baby just handed in
402
00:14:37,012 --> 00:14:39,802
our project behind my back
with cheap painted-on grass.
403
00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,594
She doesn't need me anymore.
404
00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:44,886
I yelled at her.
405
00:14:44,887 --> 00:14:48,052
Enjoy it now, because
when she gets taller,
406
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,220
it's not as fun
to do that.
407
00:14:50,553 --> 00:14:52,136
I think I owe her
an apology.
408
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,219
Hey, you're always
in the wrong.
409
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:56,386
Can you come with me
and coach me through it?
410
00:14:56,387 --> 00:14:57,428
Sure.
411
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:02,261
Ohh, look at the detail
on that DNA double helix
412
00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:03,427
made with gumdrops
and Twizzlers.
413
00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:04,427
Hmm.
414
00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:07,137
That's nine years old!
415
00:15:08,887 --> 00:15:11,469
So, about what
happened earlier...
416
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,302
Oh. Apology time.
417
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,886
You're smart
to bring the expert.
418
00:15:14,887 --> 00:15:16,136
You were right.
419
00:15:16,137 --> 00:15:18,136
The fort was perfect
the way you made it.
420
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,302
Except for the--
421
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:20,636
Don't veer.
422
00:15:20,637 --> 00:15:23,302
Thanks.
It was perfect.
423
00:15:23,303 --> 00:15:25,386
Then why did you
get so upset?
424
00:15:25,387 --> 00:15:27,177
Because we always used to
do your projects together,
425
00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,011
and now you can
do them by yourself.
426
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,302
You don't need me.
And I freaked out.
427
00:15:31,303 --> 00:15:35,302
It doesn't mean I don't
need you anymore.
428
00:15:35,303 --> 00:15:37,969
I just... have my own life,
you know?
429
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,969
I know. I know.
430
00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,511
I made it about me,
and it's not.
431
00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:43,802
I'm sorry.
432
00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:46,052
Oh, no.
433
00:15:46,053 --> 00:15:48,302
What? I thought that was
a good apology.
434
00:15:48,303 --> 00:15:50,052
I mean, I didn't try to shift
blame or cry, like you said
435
00:15:50,053 --> 00:15:51,886
I should, but I thought
we got to a good place.
436
00:15:51,887 --> 00:15:54,677
No. I've got to go
track down Doris and Angela.
437
00:15:54,678 --> 00:15:56,677
Turns out
I'm to blame again.
438
00:15:56,678 --> 00:15:58,469
Why does this
keep happening?
439
00:15:58,470 --> 00:15:59,677
I'm always in
the wrong place
440
00:15:59,678 --> 00:16:01,762
at the wrong time
being the wrong person.
441
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:07,011
That one's a project
we'll be working on together
442
00:16:07,012 --> 00:16:09,011
for the rest
of our lives.
443
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,802
Hey! Here it comes!
444
00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:17,011
Oh, we need to
get inside.
445
00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:19,802
Although, I am having
a really great hair day.
446
00:16:19,803 --> 00:16:21,969
Yeah. I caught a glimpse
of myself in the mirror,
447
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,136
and I was like,
"You've grown up real good."
448
00:16:24,137 --> 00:16:25,927
Maybe we should be
in the picture.
449
00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:29,886
Yeah, I could be remembered
forever like this.
450
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,927
Look at my shoes!
451
00:16:33,928 --> 00:16:35,094
You didn't turn off
the hose after
452
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,344
we cleaned up
Luther's poop!
453
00:16:37,345 --> 00:16:39,844
My very-convincing Bernuti
knockoffs are ruined!
454
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,469
Don't be a baby.
It's just mud.
455
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,802
Oh, yeah?
456
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:47,427
What is wrong with you?!
457
00:16:47,428 --> 00:16:48,969
It's just mud.
458
00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:51,927
Well, this is just me
pushing you into "just mud."
459
00:16:59,345 --> 00:17:00,552
I don't know how this
460
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,970
is any better,
but thanks for the belt.
461
00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:07,761
Maybe this is
a sign Mom's right.
462
00:17:07,762 --> 00:17:09,761
We should try to
get along better.
463
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:10,802
Eh.
464
00:17:10,803 --> 00:17:12,594
Yeah, I know.
I felt weird saying it.
465
00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:16,802
Ahh, how cute is it
that Jane and Charlie
466
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,219
ran ahead
to set up a picnic?
467
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,052
Well, it'd be much cuter
if they set it up
468
00:17:20,053 --> 00:17:21,427
right about here
so that I wouldn't have to
469
00:17:21,428 --> 00:17:23,011
walk up this hill.
470
00:17:23,012 --> 00:17:25,052
But we're in the new
phase of the relationship,
471
00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:27,261
so I'm all, "Ooh!
A hike! Ooh! A picnic!"
472
00:17:28,428 --> 00:17:30,261
Doris! Angela!
473
00:17:30,262 --> 00:17:32,011
What?
It couldn't be.
474
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:33,011
Wait up!
475
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:34,011
Oh.
476
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,427
Oh, God.
477
00:17:36,428 --> 00:17:38,052
Ohh.
478
00:17:38,053 --> 00:17:39,844
Slow down!
Mnh-mnh.
479
00:17:41,303 --> 00:17:43,302
I'm wearing the shoes that
I bought at the gas station.
480
00:17:43,303 --> 00:17:44,844
They have very little
arch support.
481
00:17:44,845 --> 00:17:46,636
Guys, I'm on a hike.
482
00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:48,052
This is huge for me.
483
00:17:48,053 --> 00:17:50,427
The last time I was on a hike
was in my dream.
484
00:17:50,428 --> 00:17:53,386
Greg was a platypus
and all my teeth fell out.
485
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:59,802
I thought we were leading
separate lives, Katie.
486
00:17:59,803 --> 00:18:01,886
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
487
00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:05,761
It's just, you guys met people
and started taking hikes.
488
00:18:05,762 --> 00:18:08,136
And soon there'll be weekend
getaways and game nights,
489
00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:10,052
and Oliver is taller than me.
490
00:18:10,053 --> 00:18:11,844
Just eliminate protein.
That'll slow him down.
491
00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:13,844
I know
I'm not making any sense.
492
00:18:13,845 --> 00:18:15,177
Oh, I think I get
what's happening.
493
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,052
Oliver got taller than you,
and it freaked you out.
494
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:19,219
Meanwhile, Angela and I
started dating new people,
495
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:20,302
and things are changing.
496
00:18:20,303 --> 00:18:21,886
And you hate change.
497
00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:23,511
Yeah. That's true.
498
00:18:23,512 --> 00:18:24,677
And you feel like
everyone's moving forward
499
00:18:24,678 --> 00:18:25,802
and you're
being left behind.
500
00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:26,886
Yes!
501
00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:28,719
And then we weren't
there for you...
502
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:29,886
Through no fault
of our own.
503
00:18:29,887 --> 00:18:31,261
...to help you through
all of this,
504
00:18:31,262 --> 00:18:32,677
which freaked you out
even more.
505
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,677
And so,
like a reasonable adult,
506
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,261
you replaced us with
your child's principal
507
00:18:36,262 --> 00:18:37,803
and his girlfriend.
508
00:18:41,303 --> 00:18:42,469
That sums it up.
509
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:43,927
On the plus side,
510
00:18:43,928 --> 00:18:46,094
Oliver is growing up,
so he's that much closer
511
00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:47,927
to moving out,
which means
512
00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:50,177
you can turn his bedroom
into a pottery studio.
513
00:18:50,178 --> 00:18:53,011
Right! See?!
514
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:55,177
This is exactly
what I needed to hear!
515
00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:56,428
I need you guys.
516
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,011
So can we still
have Second Breakfast?
517
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,386
Of course!
518
00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:02,594
We need it now more
than ever because we need
519
00:19:02,595 --> 00:19:04,219
to complain about
the people we're dating.
520
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:06,927
Oh. I'll start.
I hate hiking.
521
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,344
And if you think Greg's
war reenactments are annoying,
522
00:19:09,345 --> 00:19:12,011
just wait until you hear
about Jane's alcohol problem.
523
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:14,469
That sounds fun.
I can't wait.
524
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,802
Come on.
Walk to the top with us.
525
00:19:15,803 --> 00:19:18,136
Yeah.
I think you know better.
526
00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:27,344
Everything is
changing so fast.
527
00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:28,844
They don't need us
for school projects.
528
00:19:28,845 --> 00:19:30,719
Remember when
they were so tiny?
529
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:31,719
Hmm.
530
00:19:34,387 --> 00:19:37,594
♪ It's all for you ♪
531
00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:41,969
♪ Do it all, do it all,
do it all again for you ♪
532
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,261
♪ Again for you ♪
533
00:19:44,262 --> 00:19:47,677
♪ It's all for you ♪
534
00:19:47,678 --> 00:19:51,469
♪ Do it all, do it all,
do it all again for you ♪
535
00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:53,594
♪ Again for you ♪
536
00:19:56,928 --> 00:19:59,219
They're gonna be gone
before we know it.
537
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:02,344
Yeah.
But there's an upside.
538
00:20:02,345 --> 00:20:04,552
As soon as
they move out...
539
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:06,427
...pottery studio...
540
00:20:06,428 --> 00:20:07,552
home theater...
541
00:20:07,553 --> 00:20:09,053
Hmm.
542
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:13,886
...Revolutionary War
commemorative plate room.
543
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:15,969
Ooh!
544
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,802
Look at that.
We're number six on
545
00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:27,969
the Street Pics
top 10 fails list.
546
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,802
How is it possible
we beat out
547
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:31,637
"Pantsless Granny
Fights Possum"?
548
00:20:33,387 --> 00:20:35,927
Oliver, stand up
and come here.
549
00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:41,136
{\an8}See?
550
00:20:41,137 --> 00:20:43,552
{\an8}This is more like it.
551
00:20:43,553 --> 00:20:45,427
{\an8}I got the upper hand
back, baby!
552
00:20:45,428 --> 00:20:48,262
{\an8}Doctor says I'm gonna grow
at least four more inches.
553
00:20:51,553 --> 00:20:53,552
{\an8}Stop eating protein!
554
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,386
{\an8}And start smoking!
39864
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