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1
00:00:03,892 --> 00:00:05,849
Mom, you made
another lasagna?
2
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:07,432
I'm just staying busy.
3
00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:09,391
Oh, because you've been
unemployed for three months
4
00:00:09,392 --> 00:00:10,682
and the kids are gone
all day at school,
5
00:00:10,683 --> 00:00:11,849
so you're feeling
purposeless?
6
00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:14,141
Where the hell
are you getting that?
7
00:00:14,142 --> 00:00:16,266
Ladies' Home Journal.
8
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,224
I was killing time waiting
for my dentist appointment.
9
00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:20,267
Ooh, also, I learned
how to make a "she shed."
10
00:00:21,558 --> 00:00:23,307
We need to do something
about my clothes.
11
00:00:23,308 --> 00:00:25,016
See?
12
00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:26,557
I have a purpose.
13
00:00:26,558 --> 00:00:27,891
What do you need, honey?
14
00:00:27,892 --> 00:00:29,141
Now that
I'm out of special ed,
15
00:00:29,142 --> 00:00:30,891
I have to start dressing
like someone
16
00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:32,974
who doesn't have her mittens
sewn into her jacket.
17
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:34,891
Mommy stands
ready to help.
18
00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:37,141
Actually,
I don't need your help.
19
00:00:37,142 --> 00:00:39,182
In fact,
you're part of the problem.
20
00:00:39,183 --> 00:00:42,391
Every piece of clothing I own
has fruit on it.
21
00:00:42,392 --> 00:00:44,391
This skirt is covered
in bananas.
22
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,057
Tell me--
what were you thinking?
23
00:00:46,058 --> 00:00:47,307
Well,
maybe she was just--
24
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:48,807
Don't defend her.
25
00:00:48,808 --> 00:00:50,599
I want Taylor to take me.
26
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,057
Fine.
27
00:00:52,058 --> 00:00:54,016
Taylor, take Anna-Kat
shopping tomorrow.
28
00:00:54,017 --> 00:00:55,391
I've got things going on!
29
00:00:55,392 --> 00:00:57,016
Unlike you,
I have a life.
30
00:00:57,017 --> 00:01:00,682
Learning to take responsibility
is also on your list of things
31
00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:03,099
you need to accomplish
before you go to college.
32
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,932
Come on,
there's so many other ways
33
00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:06,182
I could take
responsibility.
34
00:01:06,183 --> 00:01:07,475
Such as?
35
00:01:09,183 --> 00:01:11,224
I was hoping there wasn't
gonna be a follow-up.
36
00:01:11,225 --> 00:01:13,182
I mean, what if she only wants
to dress like Eleven
37
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,516
from "Stranger Things"?
38
00:01:14,517 --> 00:01:16,182
And not
cute, season 3 Eleven.
39
00:01:16,183 --> 00:01:18,099
Dirty pink dress,
season 1 Eleven.
40
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,224
Just use
your best judgment.
41
00:01:20,225 --> 00:01:22,557
Best judgment?
Do I have that?
42
00:01:22,558 --> 00:01:24,474
Katie?
In the kitchen!
43
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,474
What?!
I thought we discussed
44
00:01:26,475 --> 00:01:28,599
we weren't gonna
have conversations
in different rooms!
45
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,516
What?!
I'm coming!
46
00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:32,182
This is
90% of marriage.
47
00:01:32,183 --> 00:01:34,432
What's
the other 10%?
48
00:01:34,433 --> 00:01:37,058
Wondering what life would
be like if we didn't have...
49
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:39,474
...pets.
50
00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:46,307
Despite the nonstop
tenement-style hollering
51
00:01:46,308 --> 00:01:48,807
in this house, I finished
my Teen Help Line application.
52
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:49,974
That's great, honey!
53
00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:51,766
Next step,
rock this interview.
54
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:54,141
I think you could really benefit
by helping those in need.
55
00:01:54,142 --> 00:01:55,891
I know I can benefit.
56
00:01:55,892 --> 00:01:58,682
This is exactly
the sappy, humanitarian garbage
57
00:01:58,683 --> 00:01:59,641
Harvard is looking for.
58
00:01:59,642 --> 00:02:01,349
Katie!
59
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,599
I'm gonna go drop this off at
the Teen Help Line offices now.
60
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,016
Good luck.
61
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:06,016
You too.
62
00:02:06,017 --> 00:02:07,182
With what?
63
00:02:08,558 --> 00:02:10,516
The fact that you don't know
makes me even sadder.
64
00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,307
Oh.
65
00:02:12,308 --> 00:02:13,891
What?!
66
00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:15,224
Why are you calling me?
67
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:16,766
Is there another moth?
68
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:19,349
Crazy news. I just
got off the phone with Stan.
69
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:20,807
He and Chloe
are back together.
70
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,432
How is that possible?
71
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:25,391
Stan left Chloe and married
that woman half his age.
72
00:02:25,392 --> 00:02:26,474
Chloe hates him.
73
00:02:26,475 --> 00:02:27,557
"Hated."
74
00:02:27,558 --> 00:02:29,974
On his honeymoon,
Stan had a stroke.
75
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,974
Oh, my God!
76
00:02:31,975 --> 00:02:33,266
He's okay,
but his new wife
77
00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:35,307
annulled the marriage
and left him.
78
00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:36,682
I was thinking of inviting
some of the guys
79
00:02:36,683 --> 00:02:38,307
from the Historical Guild over
to welcome him home.
80
00:02:38,308 --> 00:02:40,141
Ugh. Do you know
what that means?
81
00:02:40,142 --> 00:02:41,807
Now that Stan is
back in your life,
82
00:02:41,808 --> 00:02:43,182
Chloe is back in mine.
83
00:02:43,183 --> 00:02:44,516
Honey,
if you would just--
84
00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:45,558
If I would just what?
85
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,932
Let's end it here.
I don't feel safe.
86
00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:01,682
There are a lot of jobs
out there for women your age.
87
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:04,266
{\an8}The dean's wife started selling
this organic makeup line.
88
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,432
{\an8}She has this cool trunk,
89
00:03:05,433 --> 00:03:07,474
{\an8}and she takes it
to her friends' houses,
90
00:03:07,475 --> 00:03:10,517
{\an8}and they drink wine
and put their faces on together.
91
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,392
How stupid is that?
92
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,141
{\an8}I have every faith
you're gonna find something
93
00:03:16,142 --> 00:03:17,141
{\an8}that's perfect for you.
94
00:03:17,142 --> 00:03:18,557
{\an8}Thank you.
95
00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:20,599
{\an8}So, what's the plan
for tonight?
96
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,599
{\an8}Oh, glad you asked.
97
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,391
{\an8}When a wounded soldier
returns home,
98
00:03:23,392 --> 00:03:25,266
we celebrate him
with a meal and a song.
99
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,891
♪ Come join-- ♪
Heard enough.
100
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,141
{\an8}Hey, Oliver.
Is everything okay?
101
00:03:30,142 --> 00:03:31,807
No, everything is
not okay.
102
00:03:31,808 --> 00:03:34,307
{\an8}When I dropped off
my Teen Help Line application,
103
00:03:34,308 --> 00:03:36,016
{\an8}I talked with
all these other kids
104
00:03:36,017 --> 00:03:37,557
{\an8}who are a lock
to get accepted.
105
00:03:37,558 --> 00:03:40,724
{\an8}One was an orphan,
one was a refugee,
106
00:03:40,725 --> 00:03:43,182
{\an8}one had just come from donating
a kidney to a complete stranger.
107
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:45,182
Just to screw
with your life.
108
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,182
{\an8}I know!
109
00:03:46,183 --> 00:03:47,641
{\an8}There's no way
I'm getting in.
110
00:03:47,642 --> 00:03:49,516
{\an8}I haven't suffered enough.
111
00:03:49,517 --> 00:03:50,974
{\an8}I mean
112
00:03:50,975 --> 00:03:53,307
I suffer...
113
00:03:53,308 --> 00:03:55,307
{\an8}but this isn't
the kind of suffering
114
00:03:55,308 --> 00:03:57,266
{\an8}that impresses
professional do-gooders.
115
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:58,766
I don't have an angle.
116
00:03:58,767 --> 00:03:59,807
{\an8}I wouldn't worry about it.
117
00:03:59,808 --> 00:04:01,099
{\an8}If you don't
get into this program,
118
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,391
{\an8}you'll find something else
that'll make you stand out.
119
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:05,516
{\an8}Dad, Teen Help Line is
incredibly prestigious.
120
00:04:05,517 --> 00:04:08,224
If I don't get in,
I can kiss Harvard goodbye.
121
00:04:08,225 --> 00:04:10,724
{\an8}Can we do 23andMe?
Find out I'm Inuit?
122
00:04:10,725 --> 00:04:11,974
Navajo?
123
00:04:11,975 --> 00:04:13,516
{\an8}I won't do
genetic testing.
124
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:15,599
{\an8}I don't want
the relatives I have now.
125
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,474
Why would I go
digging up more?
126
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,974
{\an8}Be always at war
with your vices
127
00:04:20,975 --> 00:04:22,349
and at peace
with your neighbors.
128
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,600
Hear! Hear!
129
00:04:25,725 --> 00:04:26,767
We're here.
130
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:28,766
Hey, Stan!
131
00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,057
Look who's back!
132
00:04:30,058 --> 00:04:31,557
{\an8}Jinx!
You owe me a mead!
133
00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:35,099
Good to see you, buddy.
Come on in.
134
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,266
Katie.
Chloe.
135
00:04:37,267 --> 00:04:40,724
{\an8}I have to say, I was surprised
to hear that you took Stan back.
136
00:04:40,725 --> 00:04:42,099
It was very big of you.
137
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,057
Listen,
just because last year,
138
00:04:44,058 --> 00:04:46,599
we had one fleeting moment
of not hating each other
139
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,307
doesn't mean
we're throwing on the jammies
140
00:04:48,308 --> 00:04:49,849
and braiding
each other's hair.
141
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:52,307
I mean, with
our wildly different sizes,
142
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:54,641
we could make
a great comedy duo, but friends?
143
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:55,974
Get real.
144
00:04:55,975 --> 00:04:57,349
So relieved.
145
00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:59,974
Hating you is
the greatest joy of my life.
146
00:04:59,975 --> 00:05:01,474
Besides my kids.
Yeah.
147
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,766
Actually, it goes Anna-Kat,
Taylor, hating you, Oliver.
148
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,474
Mm-hmm.
149
00:05:05,475 --> 00:05:07,432
But I'm telling you,
waterfall ice climbing
150
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:09,266
has nothing on para-hawking.
151
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,057
The rush you get
flying next to raptors--
152
00:05:11,058 --> 00:05:12,682
ooh, it is
quite exhilarating.
153
00:05:12,683 --> 00:05:13,891
Let me tell you, sir.
154
00:05:13,892 --> 00:05:15,474
Is it?
155
00:05:15,475 --> 00:05:17,724
But, of course, now I'm on
my greatest adventure of all--
156
00:05:17,725 --> 00:05:19,266
being back
with my darling Chloe.
157
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:20,349
Ohh.
Mm.
158
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:21,849
That's enough.
159
00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:24,057
Game night,
huh, gentlemen?
160
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,599
Yeah, we're playing
Truth or Dare,
161
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,349
George Washington-style--
all truths.
162
00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:28,807
Oh.
163
00:05:28,808 --> 00:05:31,182
Well, you better watch this guy,
'cause he loves to cheat!
164
00:05:31,183 --> 00:05:33,182
One truth for Chloe!
165
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:34,932
No more ale for you,
Ross!
166
00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,891
Here it is, boys.
167
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:39,307
The lasagna
Paul Revere served
168
00:05:39,308 --> 00:05:41,682
at the Battle of
You Guys Are Nerds.
169
00:05:41,683 --> 00:05:43,599
Lasagna?
170
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,224
Mm. Not surprised.
171
00:05:45,225 --> 00:05:46,849
It's the sweatpants
of food.
172
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,891
And you are
the adult underpants of people.
173
00:05:48,892 --> 00:05:49,891
Ooh, good one.
174
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,474
Hey,
I heard you were fired.
175
00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:52,641
Figures.
176
00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:54,266
Not everybody
can run a company
177
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,141
and manage a family,
like I do.
178
00:05:56,142 --> 00:05:58,266
I wasn't fired.
I quit.
179
00:05:58,267 --> 00:05:59,599
Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
180
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,682
Neither of which I eat--
obviously.
181
00:06:01,683 --> 00:06:03,724
You know,
the sad thing for you is,
182
00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:07,016
you're too poor to even enjoy
all the free time you have now.
183
00:06:07,017 --> 00:06:09,141
I mean, what on Earth
are you doing with yourself?
184
00:06:09,142 --> 00:06:13,557
I am exploring
many, many avenues.
185
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,974
That's code
for "I have nothing."
186
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:20,016
No purpose, no options,
no water feature in your yard.
187
00:06:20,017 --> 00:06:21,057
Sad.
188
00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:22,682
You don't know anything.
189
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,682
She knows everything!
190
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:27,099
I have no plan, no purpose,
and no koi pond.
191
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,807
Quick, change the subject.
192
00:06:28,808 --> 00:06:31,266
The "Cats" movie
looks insane, right?
193
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,682
I know, but, like,
kind of sexy. Huh?
194
00:06:33,683 --> 00:06:36,099
I mean, maybe it's just me,
but rrrr!
195
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,725
Ew! Gross!
It is just you.
196
00:06:38,892 --> 00:06:41,058
Nice job, Katie!
You're back on top.
197
00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:47,141
Even Chloe Brown Mueller
figured it out.
198
00:06:47,142 --> 00:06:49,974
I'm turning 40 soon.
I'm adrift.
199
00:06:49,975 --> 00:06:52,016
I have no direction
in life.
200
00:06:52,017 --> 00:06:53,724
You're a mom.
It's not like you do nothing.
201
00:06:53,725 --> 00:06:55,391
I'm a mom.
I do nothing.
202
00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:58,099
I can't use my kids
as an excuse anymore.
203
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,307
Anna-Kat wants Taylor
to help her with everything,
204
00:07:00,308 --> 00:07:02,724
and Oliver is ironing
his own shirts
205
00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:05,099
because I don't go slowly enough
around the buttons.
206
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,307
They're putting me
out of a job!
207
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:09,182
You just have to find something
that's right for you.
208
00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:12,391
Or, hear me out, you could put
this whole problem behind you
209
00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:14,683
for nine more years
by having another baby.
210
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,807
Oh, I needed that.
211
00:07:23,808 --> 00:07:25,599
Greg suggests
that I start selling
212
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,099
that organic makeup
that comes in the big trunk.
213
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,474
You are never
Yeah, never.
doing that.
214
00:07:30,475 --> 00:07:31,974
Isn't Suzanne Sutton
a career counselor now?
215
00:07:31,975 --> 00:07:33,182
You should go
talk to her.
216
00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:35,974
Oh!
Is Suzanne your type?
217
00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:37,016
Knock it off, Doris.
218
00:07:37,017 --> 00:07:38,474
What is going on
with you two?
219
00:07:38,475 --> 00:07:40,724
Well, apparently,
I don't "do it" for Angela.
220
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:41,766
I didn't say that.
221
00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:43,266
I said
I think you're attractive.
222
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:44,932
I'm just not
attracted to you.
223
00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:46,224
I think you are.
224
00:07:46,225 --> 00:07:48,349
If you weren't, you wouldn't be
so defensive about it.
225
00:07:48,350 --> 00:07:49,641
Look at this.
Hmm.
226
00:07:53,142 --> 00:07:56,099
Oopsie-daisy.
I got all dirty.
227
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,307
Ahh!
228
00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:59,474
Hey, Katie.
I heard I could find you here.
229
00:07:59,475 --> 00:08:02,307
Doris, Angela,
you know Stan.
230
00:08:02,308 --> 00:08:03,641
Hey, Stan.
231
00:08:03,642 --> 00:08:05,350
Hey, buddy.
Gotta go.
232
00:08:07,517 --> 00:08:09,599
You know, ever since
the stroke, people react
in one of two ways--
233
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,849
they either run away
or they just stare.
234
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:11,892
Like this.
235
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,516
I thought
I was a better person.
236
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,807
Katie, may I speak to you
in private for one moment?
237
00:08:17,808 --> 00:08:20,057
Of course.
238
00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:22,849
Now, I hope I'm not imposing,
but I was wondering if you had
239
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,474
any of that wonderful lasagna
left over from last night.
240
00:08:25,475 --> 00:08:27,766
Sure. I'll bring it
by your house.
241
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:29,224
No. No, no, no.
I'll come to you.
242
00:08:29,225 --> 00:08:30,849
Chloe cannot find out
about this.
243
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:32,849
If there's two things she hates
more than me right now,
244
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,016
it's you and carbs.
245
00:08:34,017 --> 00:08:35,641
Thank you, Stan.
246
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:38,474
I know she hates me, but it's
really nice to hear sometimes.
247
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:39,641
I mean,
she really hates you.
248
00:08:39,642 --> 00:08:40,516
Mm-hmm. I know.
249
00:08:42,475 --> 00:08:45,432
We got fruit-free clothes,
a backpack,
250
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:47,557
a new dangly thing
hanging off your backpack.
251
00:08:47,558 --> 00:08:49,016
If you were
in my fifth-grade class,
252
00:08:49,017 --> 00:08:50,141
I'd let you
sit next to me.
253
00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:51,849
Wait. There's something else
I need.
254
00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,724
Mom would never
sign off on that.
255
00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:55,016
Mom put you in charge.
256
00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:57,266
This is your chance
to think on your own.
257
00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:58,558
Am I old enough
to get my ears pierced?
258
00:08:59,642 --> 00:09:00,974
Yes.
259
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,724
Yes, you are.
260
00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:05,807
It wasn't me.
261
00:09:08,058 --> 00:09:11,183
My greatest achievement is
raising three fantastic kids.
262
00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:15,349
Also, in college, my alcohol
tolerance was very high.
263
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,349
It's not anymore,
but it used to be.
264
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:18,391
Type that in.
265
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,182
Mm.
266
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:22,266
And why did you leave
your last job?
267
00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,516
My boss was a
268
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:24,933
and my clients
were also [bleep].
269
00:09:28,225 --> 00:09:30,182
That word's not
in the drop-down menu,
270
00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,682
so we'll just click
"creative differences."
271
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:39,307
Wait.
What if it hurts?
272
00:09:39,308 --> 00:09:41,349
What if they accidentally
give me those ear disks,
273
00:09:41,350 --> 00:09:43,016
like the guy
at the supermarket?
274
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,682
Some days,
he forgets to put them in,
275
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,474
and they're just
big, floppy holes.
276
00:09:46,475 --> 00:09:48,266
If you're really scared,
you don't have to do it.
277
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:50,016
But all the other girls
in my new class
278
00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:51,724
have their ears pierced.
279
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,516
Well, what if I go first and
show you it's not a big deal?
280
00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:54,724
You'd do that for me?
281
00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:56,599
Of course.
I owe you.
282
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,641
You stopped me from trying
to pet that angry dog.
283
00:09:58,642 --> 00:09:59,682
Coyote.
284
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,058
Whatever his name was,
he was mean.
285
00:10:05,642 --> 00:10:07,141
Well,
the results are in.
286
00:10:07,142 --> 00:10:09,516
So, as far
as a career goes,
287
00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:13,266
you would make an excellent
long-haul truck driver!
288
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:15,641
Aah!
Congratulations!
289
00:10:15,642 --> 00:10:17,016
Truck driver?
290
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,641
Well,
the algorithm determined
291
00:10:18,642 --> 00:10:20,641
that you shouldn't
manage people...
292
00:10:20,642 --> 00:10:23,182
or be managed by people...
293
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:25,391
or interact with the public
in any way.
294
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,974
So, what do we do now?
295
00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:30,724
Um, it says here
I'm supposed to call the police.
296
00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:38,224
Good news.
297
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:40,349
I figured out what
can set me apart for
the interview tomorrow.
298
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:42,307
I'm glad someone
has their life figured out,
299
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,016
because I have never felt
more lost.
300
00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:46,891
I just came from
a career counselor--
301
00:10:46,892 --> 00:10:48,432
Let me just head this off.
302
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:50,724
Parents don't come to their kids
with problems.
303
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:52,474
We don't see you
as real people.
304
00:10:52,475 --> 00:10:53,641
Who needs a job
305
00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:55,974
when being a mother
is so rewarding?
306
00:10:55,975 --> 00:10:57,682
Uh-huh.
Back to me.
307
00:10:57,683 --> 00:11:01,057
It would help with my interview
if I came from a troubled home.
308
00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:04,182
Do you mind if I put you under
a 72-hour psychiatric hold?
309
00:11:04,183 --> 00:11:06,849
Yes, I mind!
310
00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:09,432
Oliver, you don't need
all these tricks.
311
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,724
You are
a smart, driven kid,
312
00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:13,349
and I have no doubt
313
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,391
that you're going to get in
on your own merits.
314
00:11:15,392 --> 00:11:17,057
Okay, Greg.
315
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,516
Taylor, I just want to say,
you're my hero.
316
00:11:22,517 --> 00:11:23,849
Thank you!
317
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,141
I mean, when Mom sees
318
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,891
that you let me get my ears
pierced against her wishes,
319
00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:28,516
she's gonna go crazy
320
00:11:28,517 --> 00:11:30,516
and add another 500 things
to that list of yours.
321
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:31,891
You think?
322
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,182
Definitely.
323
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:34,266
But you don't care.
324
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:35,807
I don't?
No.
325
00:11:35,808 --> 00:11:37,641
And she's gonna
ground you forever.
326
00:11:37,642 --> 00:11:39,599
But I have that party I'm
going to with Trip on Saturday.
327
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,392
Not anymore.
328
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,974
Okay, new plan--
we're going to hide your ears.
329
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,807
For how long?
330
00:11:45,808 --> 00:11:46,974
Until I go to college.
331
00:11:46,975 --> 00:11:48,516
That could easily
be never!
332
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,516
Hey!
333
00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:01,807
Here you go.
334
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:02,932
Thank you so much.
335
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,932
And again, please don't
tell Chloe about this.
336
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,017
Also, could you ask Greg
to get me a clean cup of urine?
337
00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:09,266
She tests my sugar levels.
338
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:11,099
Sure.
Thanks.
339
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,516
Most people would be annoyed,
340
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:16,682
but feeding Stan is actually
giving my life a purpose
341
00:12:16,683 --> 00:12:18,724
because it combines
two of my favorite things--
342
00:12:18,725 --> 00:12:19,807
cooking...
343
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:21,641
Who's the best?
You are!
344
00:12:21,642 --> 00:12:24,016
...and messing with Chloe
behind her back.
345
00:12:24,017 --> 00:12:26,891
Oh, I feel a swagger walk
coming on.
346
00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:35,016
I thought you were supposed to
get a cool-kid makeover.
347
00:12:35,017 --> 00:12:36,724
What's with the dumb hat?
348
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:38,516
The lady who bought
the banana skirt
349
00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,557
should really stay out
of these conversations.
350
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,182
Hey, you.
351
00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:45,599
Here you go.
352
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:46,974
Thank you.
353
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,682
Hopefully one day,
I'll be able to eat this
354
00:12:48,683 --> 00:12:50,391
when I'm not cowering
in the garage next
to the water heater.
355
00:12:50,392 --> 00:12:51,516
Ugh.
356
00:12:54,225 --> 00:12:55,891
Stan! Why aren't you
picking up?!
357
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:56,933
Ugh!
358
00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:00,433
Maria!
359
00:13:02,225 --> 00:13:04,182
He's going over
to Katie's again.
360
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,182
Once a cheater,
always a cheater.
361
00:13:06,183 --> 00:13:08,224
Maybe Stan is just
hanging out with Greg.
362
00:13:08,225 --> 00:13:10,266
Greg works, Maria.
Unlike you.
363
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,766
But I am working.
364
00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,016
Working to make me angry!
365
00:13:13,017 --> 00:13:14,100
Now move!
366
00:13:17,142 --> 00:13:18,891
Look at you,
nibbling on those crackers
367
00:13:18,892 --> 00:13:20,182
like a little rat.
368
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:21,557
Hmm.
369
00:13:22,892 --> 00:13:25,391
I'm surprised at how clean
you keep this car.
370
00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:26,474
Thank you.
371
00:13:26,475 --> 00:13:28,516
It's like you have pride in it
or something.
372
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:29,391
Hmm.
373
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:35,766
Twice in a day, Maria?
374
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,807
I haven't done it
twice in a day with him
375
00:13:37,808 --> 00:13:39,807
since Fathers' Day
fell on his birthday.
376
00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:41,057
Oh, God.
377
00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:43,349
I will not be disrespected
like this.
378
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:45,141
Two can play
at this game.
379
00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:46,016
They're both
gonna be sorry!
380
00:13:47,183 --> 00:13:49,307
God, look at you.
Maria, you're a mess!
381
00:13:49,308 --> 00:13:50,349
Come on, now.
382
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:52,141
Also, you need a bra
with more support.
383
00:13:52,142 --> 00:13:54,182
I think we need
an HR department.
384
00:13:54,183 --> 00:13:55,642
I think you need
a boob job.
385
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,391
Hello, Greg.
386
00:14:05,392 --> 00:14:06,932
I came as soon as I got
your message. Where's Stan?
387
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,349
What about Stan?
388
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,057
Well, you said he tripped
and hit his head.
389
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,641
I made that up.
390
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,224
I don't care about Stan.
391
00:14:13,225 --> 00:14:14,100
I care about you.
392
00:14:15,142 --> 00:14:16,891
The store is closed...
393
00:14:16,892 --> 00:14:18,766
but I'm wide open.
394
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,224
Uh...
395
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:21,641
Chloe,
what are y-you doing?
396
00:14:21,642 --> 00:14:23,016
Hush, child.
Don't fight it.
397
00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:24,724
Fight what?
Oh, it's okay.
398
00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:26,224
I see the way
you look at me.
399
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:28,724
It's probably because
my left eye is extra round,
400
00:14:28,725 --> 00:14:30,474
so I have some problems
with depth perception.
401
00:14:30,475 --> 00:14:33,724
Mmm. Tell me more about
your physical defects.
402
00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:34,974
Chloe, stop.
Oh!
403
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,641
Turn the camera off,
Maria!
404
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:37,849
That's a cut.
405
00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:39,641
What's this...
all about?
406
00:14:39,642 --> 00:14:41,307
Revenge,
ya big lug.
407
00:14:41,308 --> 00:14:42,974
Stan and Katie
are doing it.
408
00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:44,266
That's ridiculous.
409
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,182
Oh, really?
Maria, show him.
410
00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,350
Look. He's on his way
over there right now.
411
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,224
There's nothing going on.
412
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,599
Katie's just
feeding him lasagna.
413
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,974
What?!
414
00:14:54,975 --> 00:14:56,391
He's going over there
to eat lasagna?!
415
00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:57,516
Yeah.
416
00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:59,266
Oh,
I'll give him lasagna.
417
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,224
Dirt, coffin floor,
Stan,
418
00:15:01,225 --> 00:15:03,891
coffin lid, dirt,
neglected grave!
419
00:15:03,892 --> 00:15:05,599
O...kay.
420
00:15:07,058 --> 00:15:08,849
And after my meeting
with Suzanne,
421
00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,974
I realized it's true--
422
00:15:10,975 --> 00:15:12,516
I don't work well
with others.
423
00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:13,474
Mm.
424
00:15:13,475 --> 00:15:15,349
I don't know what to do.
425
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:17,307
Katie, I'd be more than happy
to set up a consultation for you
426
00:15:17,308 --> 00:15:19,057
with my guru in Nepal.
427
00:15:19,058 --> 00:15:21,641
Sounds like a lot of hiking,
to be honest.
428
00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:24,432
Chloe.
429
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:27,016
You're eating the lasagna
of my sworn enemy?!
430
00:15:27,017 --> 00:15:28,099
How could you?
431
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,391
He's starving.
432
00:15:29,392 --> 00:15:30,724
How'd you know
I was here?
433
00:15:30,725 --> 00:15:32,932
I was tracking you
on my phone, dummy!
434
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,224
I thought you were
cheating on me again.
435
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:38,016
Sweetheart, you have
every reason not to trust me.
436
00:15:38,017 --> 00:15:39,432
I messed up.
437
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,142
But I promise
I will never betray you again.
438
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,849
Really?
439
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:45,349
The one good thing
to come out of all this
440
00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:46,682
is it helped me realize
how much happier I am
441
00:15:46,683 --> 00:15:47,724
with you in my life.
442
00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:49,474
Ohh!
443
00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:51,974
But, honey, I really need
more than 500 calories a day.
444
00:15:51,975 --> 00:15:53,141
Fine.
445
00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:55,349
I'll bump you up
to 800 calories a day.
446
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:56,557
But no carbs.
447
00:15:56,558 --> 00:15:57,724
Ugh.
Really?
448
00:15:57,725 --> 00:15:58,682
Yes.
I love you.
449
00:15:58,683 --> 00:15:59,724
I love you, too.
450
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,224
Mmm.
451
00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:03,267
This one loves me, too.
She just won't admit it.
452
00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:06,433
The other Katies are talking.
Let's get out of here.
453
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:13,182
Okay, so, you're not
up for the psychiatric ward.
454
00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:14,557
But how would you feel
455
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,182
about admitting to being
the Zodiac Killer?
456
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,516
No, Oliver!
457
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:18,932
The dates
don't even line up.
458
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,183
No one's doing the math!
459
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,641
What is wrong
with him?
460
00:16:24,642 --> 00:16:26,516
He's got a big interview later,
but he thinks
461
00:16:26,517 --> 00:16:28,474
he's not going to get in
because he hasn't had
462
00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:31,849
any discrimination or adversity
to overcome.
463
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:34,391
Well, what about
all of this?
464
00:16:36,017 --> 00:16:37,682
He already made
that same joke.
465
00:16:37,683 --> 00:16:40,224
That selfish dope really needs
to get some perspective.
466
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,599
He doesn't know it,
467
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,974
but this program could be
the best thing for him.
468
00:16:44,975 --> 00:16:46,642
He just needs
to stand out a little.
469
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,224
Why are you looking at us
like that?
470
00:16:51,225 --> 00:16:54,891
Oh. She's picking up
on our sexual tension.
471
00:16:54,892 --> 00:16:56,349
Okay. Okay, Dor.
472
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,683
I-- You know what?
473
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,766
Great.
Thank you so much. Bye.
474
00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:05,557
Hi.
I'm Oliver Otto.
475
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,599
I just wanted to say
I'm so excited by the prospect
476
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,724
of being part of
such an important organization.
477
00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:10,932
Hi.
I'm Oliver's Mom.
478
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:13,057
Hello!
Oliver!
479
00:17:13,058 --> 00:17:14,724
Oh.
Well, one of my moms.
480
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,682
Hi!
Oh!
481
00:17:16,683 --> 00:17:18,016
Very nice to meet you.
482
00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:19,099
Nice to meet you,
too!
483
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,225
Hi.
Hey.
484
00:17:20,975 --> 00:17:22,766
What?
No kiss for your wife?
485
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,599
Oliver, tell your mother
to kiss me.
486
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,349
Okay.
487
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:33,682
See?
Pretty great, right?
488
00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:34,682
Not really.
489
00:17:34,683 --> 00:17:35,891
I'm out of here.
490
00:17:35,892 --> 00:17:37,099
Bye.
491
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,225
Angela, you know
I can't quit you!
492
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,267
It's from "Brokeback Mountain"
'cause... we're gay.
493
00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:44,516
Hey!!
494
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:46,516
You are
a terrible wife!
495
00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:48,892
I come from a troubled,
biracial, lesbian home.
496
00:17:49,933 --> 00:17:51,724
But I've developed
emotional tools
497
00:17:51,725 --> 00:17:52,766
to help me deal with it.
498
00:17:55,058 --> 00:17:56,974
It was fun
cooking for Stan.
499
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,557
Took my mind off the fact
500
00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:00,807
that I can't find something
to do with my life.
501
00:18:00,808 --> 00:18:02,432
Oh, honey, you can--
502
00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:03,724
Moth!
503
00:18:03,725 --> 00:18:05,057
I got it.
I got it!
504
00:18:05,058 --> 00:18:06,682
Get it!
505
00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:11,099
Oh, hey, Trip.
Hey, Mr. A.
506
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,682
I'm here to pick up Taylor
for the party.
507
00:18:12,683 --> 00:18:14,058
Taylor, Trip's here!
508
00:18:18,517 --> 00:18:20,016
Daisy earrings?
509
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:21,807
What is the occasion?
510
00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:23,432
Oh, I got my ears pierced
with Anna-Kat
511
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,724
to show her
it was no big deal.
512
00:18:26,183 --> 00:18:27,849
I'm gonna let the holes
close up,
513
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,058
but I just wanted to feel pretty
for a little while.
514
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:34,849
What... did you do?
515
00:18:37,975 --> 00:18:39,599
Taylor!
What the hell?!
516
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,849
It's not a big deal!
517
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,849
It is a big deal!
518
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,266
Your job was
to get her new clothes,
519
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:45,391
not poke holes
in her head!
520
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,641
Trip, Taylor is not
going anywhere tonight.
521
00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:47,557
Wait a second.
522
00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,224
You said
to use my best judgment,
523
00:18:49,225 --> 00:18:50,891
and that's exactly
what I did.
524
00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:52,766
Remember when you wouldn't
let me dye my hair blond
525
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:53,891
but I did it anyway?
526
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:55,516
Guess what-- not only
did I fit in better,
527
00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:56,974
but it made me
way more confident.
528
00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:58,224
It's not the same!
529
00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,057
It's almost exactly
the same!
530
00:19:00,058 --> 00:19:01,349
Now Anna-Kat
has something in common
531
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,849
with all the girls
in her new class!
532
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,391
Plus, I'm not afraid
of needles anymore,
533
00:19:05,392 --> 00:19:07,433
so you don't have to
strap me down at the doctor.
534
00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:12,224
Do you like my earrings?
535
00:19:12,225 --> 00:19:13,600
They're ladybugs.
536
00:19:17,392 --> 00:19:19,100
They're really pretty,
Anna-Kat.
537
00:19:20,683 --> 00:19:23,932
It might not have been
what I would have done,
538
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:25,433
but you used
your best judgment.
539
00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:28,933
You can cross it
off your list.
540
00:19:29,975 --> 00:19:31,933
So, I can go
to the party?
541
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,182
Have fun.
542
00:19:35,183 --> 00:19:36,558
Thanks, Mom.
543
00:19:38,642 --> 00:19:40,891
Hey, Trip, before you go,
you want to go upstairs
544
00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:43,391
and play "Who wore it best"
with these ladybug earrings?
545
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:44,933
Oh, yeah.
You're goin' down.
546
00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:55,349
Hey, Katie. We had a great time
the other night.
547
00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:56,474
Just ask her.
548
00:19:56,475 --> 00:19:57,766
Be cool!
549
00:19:57,767 --> 00:20:00,266
Um, Stan said you might have
some leftover lasagna?
550
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,266
I've honestly never tasted
anything so good.
551
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,974
It was like being back
in my grandmother's kitchen,
552
00:20:03,975 --> 00:20:06,474
except you're not ranting
about how you miss Mussolini.
553
00:20:06,475 --> 00:20:08,891
You guys!
I'm flattered.
554
00:20:08,892 --> 00:20:11,182
Unfortunately,
I'm all out.
555
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:12,641
Stan had
the last of it today.
556
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:13,974
We'll pay you
to make another one.
557
00:20:13,975 --> 00:20:14,932
How much?
30 bucks?
558
00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:16,182
50.
Deal.
559
00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:18,849
Okay. Come back
in three hours.
560
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,141
What do you want to do?
561
00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:21,599
Donuts in
my ex-wife's cul-de-sac?
562
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,767
Fun.
Yeah.
563
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:26,016
Hang on.
564
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,974
Am I about to get paid
for my lasagna?
565
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:29,016
It looks like it.
566
00:20:29,017 --> 00:20:30,807
Is this a crazy idea?
567
00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:32,516
Could I make this
a home business?
568
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:34,224
You absolutely could.
You love cooking.
569
00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,016
I'd be my own boss.
570
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,391
I could
make my own hours.
571
00:20:37,392 --> 00:20:39,599
I wouldn't have to manage
or be managed by others.
572
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,266
You could wear pajamas
at work.
573
00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:43,057
That's always been
my dream.
574
00:20:51,975 --> 00:20:53,182
Well, hey.
How'd it go today?
575
00:20:53,183 --> 00:20:54,182
I got accepted.
576
00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:55,391
Oh!
577
00:20:55,392 --> 00:20:57,725
That's great!
That's amazing, honey!
578
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,057
{\an8}Who knew two diverse--
579
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,182
{\an8}Ah, ch-ch-ch!
580
00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:02,557
{\an8}...bickering
lesbian moms--
581
00:21:02,558 --> 00:21:03,807
{\an8}Ch-ch-ch!
582
00:21:03,808 --> 00:21:04,767
{\an8}...was my ticket in?
583
00:21:06,392 --> 00:21:07,974
{\an8}Katie,
what did you do?
584
00:21:09,725 --> 00:21:12,349
{\an8}I did something wrong...
585
00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:14,266
{\an8}for the right reasons.
586
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:15,891
{\an8}Well, I guess
that's an improvement.
587
00:21:15,892 --> 00:21:17,392
{\an8}Usually, you do the wrong thing
for the wrong reasons.
588
00:21:18,808 --> 00:21:20,516
{\an8}I'm growing.
Mm.
41792
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