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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,257 I forgot how much we laugh on this show! 2 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,277 Lancer! 3 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,912 - Not him! - Not him. Damn it! 4 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:55,760 Not him, either. 5 00:00:57,147 --> 00:00:58,640 He definitely isn't the one! 6 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,840 Are you the thieves, or are you looking for one? 7 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,280 Sidhu ji, the thing is, one of our patients 8 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,240 escaped under the cover of night. We are looking for him. 9 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,520 Have you seen him anywhere? 10 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,840 Don't be so protective, 11 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,812 - or the protector may stray. - Right. 12 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,280 And don't treat too harshly Or the patient may go away! 13 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,280 Wow! 14 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,392 Is he a thief or a patient? 15 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,480 He could be a thief, a policeman, a scientist, anything 16 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,400 - All in one! - if he forgets to take his pills! 17 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,080 - Got it. - Today, he's the king of some country. 18 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,880 And that is why 19 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,040 we dressed up as soldiers to catch him. 20 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,080 We are actually doctors! 21 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,880 Let me introduce ourselves. This is Dr. Sharma, 22 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,400 and I am Dr. Verma. 23 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,520 - Dr. Sharma. - Yes? 24 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,360 I think we have to use the same tactic again 25 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,167 we used the last time to catch him. 26 00:01:49,752 --> 00:01:52,040 Very correct, Dr. Verma. 27 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,352 - With respect, - With respect, 28 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,120 - and reverence, - and reverence, 29 00:01:55,542 --> 00:01:57,600 - all rise! - all rise! 30 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,000 - O King, wherever you are, - O King, wherever you are, 31 00:02:00,257 --> 00:02:02,600 - please present yourself! - please present yourself! 32 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,440 A king! 33 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,440 KAPIL SHARMA AS THE KING 34 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,560 - All hail the King! - All hail the King! 35 00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:42,922 All hail the King! What's wrong? 36 00:02:43,112 --> 00:02:44,240 The same old... 37 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,400 boring slogan, "All hail the King! All hail the King!" 38 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,840 Come up with some new ones, 39 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,000 like, "Maharaj ki fateh-ho!" Add "Nora" before fateh. 40 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,360 Maharaj ki Nora fateh-ho! 41 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,040 Come on. 42 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,920 Maharaj, at least tell us all, 43 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,280 what country you're the king of. 44 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,800 I'm creating a new country! 45 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,320 - A new country? - I'll name it soon. 46 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,000 Okay. But what happened to your old country, Maharaj? 47 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,160 The old country-- Sidhu sahab, what do I say! 48 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,960 - What? - The Gen Z rose and revolted against us, 49 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,440 and overthrew our throne. 50 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,480 - Oh, no! - Yes! 51 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:17,720 I was sleeping, 52 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,400 and they started slapping me. 53 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,200 But then I had an idea, I quickly wrapped a towel around my head, 54 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,960 - joined them and looted my own house. - Really? 55 00:03:28,102 --> 00:03:30,227 - At one point, one person got suspicious. - About what? 56 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,032 That I was one of the royals. 57 00:03:32,132 --> 00:03:35,760 So I slapped my brother-in-law a few times in front of him! 58 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:37,927 That's how I saved myself. 59 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,920 But why was the throne overthrown, Maharaj? 60 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,480 It was the same boring demands, 61 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,680 "Give us jobs, build roads, build hospitals!" 62 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,040 Unbelievable! In our country, the only thing that grew 63 00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:51,360 was inflation, but they wanted it to go down! 64 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,400 Superb! 65 00:03:57,897 --> 00:03:59,160 And the throne wasn't the only thing overturned. 66 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,520 They also overturned our sofa. They broke our TV! 67 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,680 Well, I understand them asking for jobs, 68 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,822 but some of them slapped saying, 69 00:04:07,907 --> 00:04:09,680 "It was too hot this year!" I mean... 70 00:04:12,472 --> 00:04:14,320 That's why I am creating my own new country. 71 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,040 - Oh, wow! - Okay, that's great, 72 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,480 but, Maharaj, how big will your new country be? 73 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,852 It will be approximately... 74 00:04:23,922 --> 00:04:25,800 165 square yards big, my country. 75 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,560 - And if we include the footpath... - Okay. 76 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,360 ...add 20 more yards. So, 185! 77 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,840 - Wow! - Yeah. 78 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,040 Why are you making such a small country, Maharaj? 79 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,480 These days, small is in, old soldier! 80 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,600 - Old soldier! - And look. 81 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,240 Sidhu sahab, we wore longer underpants. 82 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,280 - Right! - Yes. 83 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,320 - Then they became ye short. - Yes. 84 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,560 And they became Frenchies! 85 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,320 Right? 86 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,480 Then 50-over cricket matches became 20-over matches! 87 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,447 - Yes. - Yes! 88 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,000 Before, our shows had 200 episodes. Now we have only 13! 89 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,240 That's why my country will be small. 90 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,440 So that if an enemy ever tries to invade it, 91 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,480 I can see them coming from the bathroom! 92 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,640 - Wow! Wow! - Small country is an efficient country. 93 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,000 Let me tell you, Maharaj, 94 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,640 Your idea is fantastic. But tell me, 95 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,520 how many citizens will your small country have? 96 00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:17,962 - Very limited. Only 100 citizens. - Okay. 97 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,600 My country will have only 100 citizens, 98 00:05:20,792 --> 00:05:22,600 and they'll all belong to different religions. 99 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,172 - What? - Why different religions, Maharaj? 100 00:05:25,297 --> 00:05:28,680 Because if they all belong to one, they can gang up and thrash the king! 101 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,080 That's why they will all belong to different religions, 102 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,520 so they keep fighting each other and the king's safe! 103 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,400 - Nice one! - And one more thing. 104 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,720 There will be no stand-up comedians in our country. 105 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,237 What are you talking about, Maharaj? 106 00:05:47,337 --> 00:05:50,520 I mean, why would stand-up comedians be a problem? 107 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,480 Well, in the name of satire, they make jokes on us 108 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,520 and get away with it saying "Jokes apart!" 109 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,640 Lovely! 110 00:05:59,432 --> 00:06:01,960 So please present those who wish to be citizens of my country. 111 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,842 - But first, make an announcement... - What? 112 00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:07,182 that courtesy of the kingdom, the first five citizens to arrive 113 00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:09,200 will get a free shave and haircut! 114 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,120 - Oh! - Wow! 115 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:17,040 - Citizens, present yourselves! - Citizens, present yourselves! 116 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,612 Hail to the King! 117 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,400 Maharaj, we've been waiting outside for two hours. Our feet really hurt. 118 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,520 - Quickly conduct the interview, please. - Come here. 119 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,640 You stand in line all night to buy the latest Apple phone. 120 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,040 This is your chance to win a citizenship in such an amazing country, 121 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,760 - and your feet hurt... - So-- Sorry! 122 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,080 I'll break your legs! 123 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,600 Please forgive us, Maharaj, 124 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,920 we do wish for citizenship of your country. 125 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,640 But could you tell us what facilities you'll provide us with? 126 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:50,817 We have many facilities. 127 00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:54,040 In our country, the tax is only ten percent. 128 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,520 Wow! So, 90 percent is ours? 129 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,320 Yes, ninety percent is ours. 130 00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,880 Ten percent is yours! 131 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,640 Maharaj, you're exploiting your citizens! 132 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,080 How is it exploitation? Have you ever run a country? 133 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,840 - No. - Have you ever bought a country? 134 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,000 - Sidhu sahab! - Yes? 135 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,760 I bought this piece of land for 30,000 rupees per square yard. 136 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:15,680 Really? 137 00:07:15,748 --> 00:07:17,040 Yes, it was away from the highway. 138 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,360 Close to the highway, it cost up to 2,500,000 per square yard. 139 00:07:21,757 --> 00:07:23,992 - So you're recovering that money from us? - Not at all. 140 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,920 I'm hiring women to collect the tax. 141 00:07:28,327 --> 00:07:29,800 Why women? 142 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,927 Government manages to get only ten percent out of people. 143 00:07:32,997 --> 00:07:35,400 Women easily get 100 percent out of their husbands! 144 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,277 - And the government... - Yes? 145 00:07:41,757 --> 00:07:44,120 - ...can only recover the white money. - Yes. 146 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,440 Only a wife can get her husband's black money out! 147 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,972 - Yes! - Yes. 148 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,520 Superb! 149 00:07:49,707 --> 00:07:50,792 But, Maharaj, 150 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,600 what does ten percent even afford? 151 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,040 Inflation has increased so much. 152 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,360 How will we afford our children's education? 153 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,160 Don't worry about education. 154 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,560 It will be free. 155 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,200 Wow, Maharaj! You're offering free education? 156 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,120 No, you misunderstand. Just like "sugar-free" and "alcohol-free," 157 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,760 our country will be education-free. 158 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,560 There-- 159 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,680 - There will be no concept of education. - Amazing! 160 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,640 But, Maharaj, this way, everyone will be illiterate. 161 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,727 Illiterate? 162 00:08:19,512 --> 00:08:21,320 Do you know how useful it is to be illiterate? 163 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,840 An illiterate person's bread lasts years. 164 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,640 - What? - Maharaj, how is that? 165 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,640 They don't know how to read the expiry date. 166 00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:30,872 They can have it for however long. 167 00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:35,000 We've made some amendments to our calendar. 168 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,800 - Like? - In our country, 169 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,120 a month will only have 15 days. 170 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,937 But a month has 30 days, Maharaj. 171 00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:44,362 Come here, watermelon! Come! 172 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,680 - Watermelon! - How many days? 173 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:46,920 Th-- Thirty! 174 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,080 - Thirty days. - Yes. 175 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,560 You poor man, your salary lasts only 11 days. 176 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,480 You have chicken the day you get your salary, 177 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,320 and by the eleventh day, you're back to eating yellow dal. 178 00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,440 And you want a month with 30 days in it? 179 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,122 - Sorry! - Superb! 180 00:09:03,842 --> 00:09:05,680 Maharaj, you are not making any sense. 181 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,680 Do we even have law here? 182 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,800 Look, there's no law written down per se, 183 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,520 but I have ideas in my head. 184 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,280 Then how will you implement them? 185 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Implement? Well, look, 186 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,440 the first year, we will run the country without law and order. 187 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,120 If it works, it works. 188 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,760 - We'll continue as is. - Wow! 189 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,680 So in your country, will there be education or corruption? 190 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,200 The second one's fine. 191 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,412 But, Maharaj, still, laws should be written down. 192 00:09:36,662 --> 00:09:39,137 They already have so many demands! 193 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,720 Let's write it down. Where's the constitution we were writing? 194 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,837 - Yes, here you go. - Go on. 195 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,407 We'll write it down bit by bit every day. You see, 196 00:09:47,682 --> 00:09:49,520 - I can't remember it all at once. - Amendments. 197 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,720 As per need. 198 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,680 - We will make hard laws... - Sure. 199 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,600 - Very good. - Yes. 200 00:09:54,997 --> 00:09:56,800 ...and really soft omelets. 201 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,040 - Omelets? - Wait, hold this. 202 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,160 - Maharaj, tell me something. - Where did omelets come from? 203 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,440 What will the new country's flag look like? 204 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,800 Hey! No flags! We'll have no flags. 205 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,400 - What? - Flags cause too many fights. 206 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,200 We have the flagstaff, minus the flag! 207 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,840 Only the pole remains. 208 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,680 And if anyone dares question us, 209 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,480 - we will take the pole... - And hit their backs? 210 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,280 There are women here, so I won't spell it out, 211 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,680 but I'll go lower! 212 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,920 I'll thrash them with it so hard... 213 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,400 You'll turn their backside red! 214 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,440 - Hey, write this down in the constitution. - Write it down. 215 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,822 - That-- I just got the idea. - What? 216 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,657 Whatever the king takes a liking to will be the law. 217 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,007 - Write it down. - Done. 218 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,080 But that only benefits the king. 219 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,760 What do we gain from this, Maharaj? 220 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:48,800 - You want benefits? - Yes. 221 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:49,800 Everyone benefits. 222 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,680 Everyone will get one chance at being the king of this country. 223 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,640 - Wow! - Yes! 224 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,840 Amazing! 225 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,680 When will I get the chance, Maharaj? 226 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,760 When an enemy country attacks us! 227 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,520 Go ahead, son, get on the gallows, and God will do the rest! 228 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,920 When the enemy country attacks, 229 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,120 and their king asks, "Who is your king," 230 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,400 take your name. 231 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,400 And if they ask about me, 232 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,907 tell them I'm your sister-in-law from the village. 233 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,840 - Maharaj, we'll die like this. - Look, 234 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,960 - learn how to fight wars. - Yes. 235 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,560 Nothing will happen to you. 236 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,757 - First, let's check your aim. - Yes. 237 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:27,960 - Okay? - Yes, I caught it! 238 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,280 First rule, never catch an arrow mid-air. 239 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:34,920 Now... 240 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,440 Now, let's check your aim. 241 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,840 Shoot the fish in the eye. 242 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,320 But where's the fish, Maharaj? 243 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,600 - The fish? - Yes. 244 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,800 - Where's the fish? - There's fish? 245 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,360 Him. He's the fish. 246 00:11:46,767 --> 00:11:49,200 Maharaj, why am I the fish? 247 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,320 - Okay, write this down. - Sure, tell me. 248 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,287 Write down... 249 00:11:52,652 --> 00:11:56,160 anyone wearing purple will be considered a fish in this country. 250 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,640 Oh, man! 251 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,880 Anyone can eat him as a snack, it wouldn't be a sin. 252 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaking of snacks, write this one down too. 253 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,480 If anyone in my country is caught drinking 254 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,560 alone without me, 255 00:12:13,322 --> 00:12:16,240 they will be hanged on the spot! 256 00:12:20,637 --> 00:12:23,520 Maharaj, why hang someone over something so small? 257 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,160 That's small? All right, you're the king from now on. 258 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,720 What? Maharaj, you've done such a big thing for me! 259 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,760 Is it a big thing now? Hang him then. 260 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,280 One minute, Maharaj. Just a minute. 261 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,560 Hanging someone for no reason, that's really wrong. 262 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,920 - Is it wrong? - Yes. 263 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,520 - There's my reason! - What? 264 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,240 Write this, sneezing is fatal. 265 00:12:46,427 --> 00:12:48,520 - Anyone who sneezes in my kingdom... - Yes? 266 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,760 will be hanged immediately. Write it down. 267 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,097 You sneezed! 268 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,720 Maharaj, come on, you'll be hanged now. 269 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,320 Wait, write this down. Any rule the king makes up in a hurry will be struck down. 270 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,320 - Maharaj, that's cheating! Cheating! - Right. 271 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,320 Hold on. 272 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,400 - Chameleons don't change that fast! - Write down... 273 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,800 if anyone complains, "Maharaj, that's cheating!", they'll be hanged twice! 274 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:08,920 What! 275 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,040 - Let's run! - Let's get away! 276 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,680 - Run for your life! - They're running! 277 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,240 - Soldiers! - Yes? 278 00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:18,920 - Get them. - Get 'em! 279 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,520 - Get 'em! - Got him! 280 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,120 - We got you! - Shut up! 281 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,600 - Gotcha! - Not me, catch them. 282 00:13:24,802 --> 00:13:28,760 Maharaj, you just laid down the law and wrote constitution. 283 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,622 - It's time to put a stamp on it. - Right. 284 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,600 What stamp are you talking about? 285 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,520 - Here. - I don't want that one. 286 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:36,640 That one, yes. 287 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,840 I don't want this stamp. 288 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:38,920 Listen. 289 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,600 No! No! No, no! 290 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,200 - Hey! - No! No! 291 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,920 What are you doing? 292 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,440 - Please stand up. - Please hear me out. 293 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,667 - Answer your king's question. - Go on. 294 00:13:54,002 --> 00:13:58,520 - If "go" becomes "run"? - "Go" becomes "run". 295 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,567 If "go" becomes "run," then what happens to "go now"? 296 00:14:02,192 --> 00:14:04,320 - It becomes "run now"! - All right then! 297 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,720 Hey! Get him! 298 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,640 Come on! 299 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,080 Thank you. Thank you. 300 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,240 - Kapil! - Kapil! 301 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,320 Hello and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show, 302 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,760 Season Four! 303 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,320 - Kapil! - Kapil! 304 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,720 Thank you. Thank you. 305 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,160 Thank you. Thank you. Please sit down. 306 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,720 - Thank you. - Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! 307 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,120 Archana ji and Sidhu paaji... 308 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,447 - Yes. - ...season four has begun. 309 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:03,960 The fourth season is here. 310 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,000 It is going to be four times the joy... 311 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,000 - Yes. - ...four times the fun, 312 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,680 and four times the madness. 313 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,120 And by the way, 314 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,160 everything around me lately has been multiplying by four. 315 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,400 - Really? - Yes! 316 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,560 Recently, in my movie, I had four wives. 317 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,237 Yes, yes. 318 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,480 And our first guest kicking off this fourth season 319 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,720 is famous in all four directions of the world. 320 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,440 - Yeah! - Please welcome... 321 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,600 a global star who's desi at heart, 322 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,200 one and only, Priyanka Chopra Jonas! 323 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,240 Keep the applause coming! 324 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,517 A shower of flowers just for you. 325 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,200 PC! 326 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,680 Let's hear it for her louder! 327 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:15,440 PC! PC! PC! PC! PC! 328 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,880 Thank you for your love and enthusiasm. 329 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,880 So please don't disturb us for the next one hour. 330 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,400 Priyanka, a warm welcome. 331 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,160 Thank you so much. That was some welcome. 332 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,920 It really felt like a homecoming. 333 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,960 Of course, it's you after all. 334 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,520 We ordered about four and a half kilos of flowers. 335 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,400 Kapil, they've really upped your show's budget. 336 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,040 Because you're here! 337 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,720 The budget wasn't for Kapil. 338 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,600 It's for the angel that's descended from Lord Indra's court! 339 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,840 Sidhu paaji is right. 340 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,680 The way Priyanka arrived felt like a princess had arrived. 341 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,720 And she is one, one that rules over millions of hearts. 342 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,400 She's made her way into so many hearts, 343 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,280 that even a father of two sometimes forgets that he's married. 344 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,600 Yeah, of course! 345 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,520 You always forget that. 346 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,702 And that happens sometimes. 347 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,280 It's okay, Kapil. 348 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,400 This is why he wanted to shower you with flowers. 349 00:18:18,937 --> 00:18:20,000 I swear... 350 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,720 when you look at PC, you know God made this world. 351 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,840 And then there are few people in my circle 352 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,120 who make you think that some parents make mistakes. 353 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,652 Now if you see, 354 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,800 we first saw PC on TV when she was crowned Miss World. 355 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,307 That was 25 years ago, paaji! 356 00:18:41,697 --> 00:18:44,880 But you'd win the title even today. 357 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,040 - Oh. - Genuinely. 358 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,400 Thank you. 359 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,800 Sidhu paaji can't seem to contain the poem inside. Let it out! 360 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,960 Beauty is among us today in Priyanka's form... 361 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,157 - My, oh, my. - Wow! 362 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,840 Beauty is among us today in Priyanka's form, 363 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,800 and we've laid out our hearts to welcome her here. 364 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,920 So charming is her beauty, to prevent a heart's surprise, 365 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,720 we've placed a doctor in the crowd for safety in disguise. 366 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,040 - So good, wow! Amazing! - Clap it up! 367 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,720 "We've placed a doctor in the crowd for safety in disguise!" 368 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,800 And I just received a text from a doctor. 369 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,120 Come on, man! 370 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,080 The doctor says her name is Navjot Kaur Sidhu! 371 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,200 She says, "My husband is really trying my patience." 372 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,600 "He does one show with Archana, and another with Malaika." 373 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,000 "He came here for Priyanka but told me he was at a cricket match!" 374 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,520 You have done it today! 375 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,440 You have troubled me enough today! 376 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,440 Priyanka, since you are here, everyone looks so happy. 377 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,880 But I'm a bit hesitant. 378 00:20:06,512 --> 00:20:08,362 - Why? - Well, I'm hesitating 379 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,200 - because... - Yes? 380 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,022 We are both married. 381 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,600 By the way, we got married the same year. 382 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,880 - Really? - To different people, so... 383 00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:21,680 I am hesitant 384 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,320 because we're on Netflix, and it has subtitles. 385 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,677 So I'm afraid Nick will read them. 386 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,137 What? 387 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,222 That's why I'm a bit anxious. Everything else is fine. 388 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,280 No, it's no problem. Nick knows 389 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,880 that everyone flirts with me, but he's the one I go home to. 390 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,760 May I tell you something? 391 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,560 Whenever Priyanka comes to India, 392 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,720 she always comes on the show to meet us. 393 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,200 Do I call that a coincidence or love? 394 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,440 I mean... 395 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,720 - Look... - Give an inch, and they take a mile. 396 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,880 He's been saying that for so many years. 397 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,520 Seven years since you got married, and it's the same thing! 398 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,320 Change the way you flirt. 399 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,160 Surprise me a little. 400 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,400 You can marry whoever you want, but the heart still loves you! 401 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,080 - I wore my best perfume, worth 750 rupees. - I like the outfit. 402 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,280 - Oh! - I wore my best outfit. 403 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,760 - Yeah. - What more can I-- I don't know. 404 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,240 You could have freshened it up. 405 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,977 Maybe another spritz of the perfume. 406 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,640 So... I could've smelled the perfume. 407 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,400 Before, I used to wear Cobra, 150 rupees apiece. 408 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,880 What do you use now? 409 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,027 Today, I'm wearing Creed. 410 00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:30,750 - Creed? - Creed! 411 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,482 He's become fancy now. 412 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,337 - My God, Creed! - Yes, yes. 413 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,440 I also worked hard after seeing you and your level of fitness. 414 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,600 That's what I was thinking. It's been a while since you got married. 415 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:44,960 Seven years, so it's like... 416 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,672 - Yes. - ...you've been married for a while. 417 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,622 How did you get so fit all of a sudden? 418 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,800 Actually, I was doing a movie with four heroines. 419 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:56,840 So, I lost... four kilos per wife. 420 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,400 - So the math... 16 kilos. - I lost 16 kilos. 421 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,840 I have noticed another change. 422 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,720 - He's pretty fluent in English. - He's trying to impress you. 423 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,960 Nowadays, I'm very comfortable, me and English-- 424 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,280 How comfortable are you? 425 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,560 We made peace with each other. 426 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,880 It's like a husband and wife's relationship. 427 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,880 - Keep going. - Daily, we have little problems-- 428 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,280 A desi man can never dally with English. 429 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,240 He is dallying with English! 430 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,960 He's just jealous. You can talk to me in English now. 431 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,560 Yeah, yeah. 432 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,377 - Alright! I have a question. - Yes. 433 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,480 How would you... 434 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:36,640 delineate the underlying forces shaping your mental disposition currently? 435 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,200 - I love this! - Bouncer! 436 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,440 Bouncer! 437 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,400 This English hasn't arrived in India yet. 438 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,560 Okay. 439 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,920 Look, this time, I'm coming all the way from LA, directly to your studio. 440 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,040 - How sweet of you! - And I'm going back tonight. 441 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,680 - Just to meet you. - Let's go for dinner. The show-- 442 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,200 Why are we on the show? Come on. 443 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,680 Is there a new restaurant we should check out? 444 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,560 I have opened cafes now! 445 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,600 Priyanka posted a story as soon as she landed here. 446 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,760 I got so many messages saying, 447 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,440 "We want to be on the show." 448 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,760 People from Mumbai can make it, 449 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,840 but these were from people in Karnal, Panipat and whatnot! 450 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,840 I didn't check them. I was getting ready for the show. 451 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,920 But I will go and respond after this. 452 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,397 Show us the post. Right. 453 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,000 - I was like, "Kapil, be ready." - You better be ready. 454 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,847 We are meeting after so long. What did you write? 455 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:33,612 I-- 456 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,840 This man will never change! 457 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,640 What kind of man changes? What kind of love-- 458 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,920 Give me your phone. 459 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,120 - My phone? - Yes. 460 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,040 - For what? - What's your wife's number? 461 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,960 - How is she saved here? - Let me. 462 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,480 - Ginni's is A-- - Her name-- 463 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,320 - A... - How can you spell Ginni with an A? 464 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,640 A-S... 465 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,480 - A-S-what? - A-S-L-I... 466 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,120 - "Asliwali?" - Real... 467 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:10,800 I mean... 468 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,800 - It's just a joke. - Call her. 469 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,000 You're lucky that I know Ginni. Hi, Ginni. Priyanka here. 470 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,480 - How are you? - Kapil-- What? Priyanka? 471 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,880 - Hi, how are you? - Is it Priyanka Chopra? 472 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,920 Yeah. Sorry, I didn't say my last name. 473 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,232 Yes, Priyanka Chopra. 474 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,072 Hello, Priyanka. Where are you? 475 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,407 I'm on Kapil's show-- 476 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,902 - Didn't he tell you I was coming? - No... 477 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,800 He said he was shooting with Anup Jalota. 478 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,560 He has been repeating the same lines for years now. 479 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,880 Please train him to flirt in a new way. 480 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,782 - Right? - I forgot to train him for that. Now what? 481 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,760 - Who else will? - Thank God. I'm happy 482 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,000 that he's flirting with you. 483 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,280 Because he just starts flirting with anyone. 484 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,640 I mean... 485 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,080 "Flirts with anyone!" 486 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,057 Your wife says I have raised your standards. 487 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,040 Exactly, exactly. 488 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,560 Raise your standards. Have you seen your wife? 489 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,040 She is so beautiful. 490 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,520 - Value her. - Thank you, Priyanka. 491 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,680 Another man's wife is always beautiful. 492 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,360 Priyanka, how is Malti? 493 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,640 Malti is fine. How are your kids? 494 00:25:22,757 --> 00:25:24,107 Your daughter is six now. 495 00:25:24,427 --> 00:25:26,287 - Yes, I'm at Anayra's birthday party. - Anayra. 496 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,200 Oh, my God! Please wish her for me. 497 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,880 I was looking at Anayra's photo. She has grown so much. 498 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,440 I feel like she was born before my eyes. You guys just got married. 499 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:36,880 - Right? - Yes. 500 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,360 - Remember? - I married right after you did. 501 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,040 I had lost all hope. 502 00:25:44,267 --> 00:25:46,200 Ginni, take care of the kids. 503 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,000 You must be busy looking after the kids. 504 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,880 - Later-- - I'll wrap up soon and send him back. 505 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,872 Come home, Kapil. I'll talk to you then. 506 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,080 - You are done now! - I want to see 507 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,040 - how you go home today. - Look. 508 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,320 What did Ginni say? 509 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,200 - What? - "It's okay if he flirts with you." 510 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,000 Priyanka is everyone's favorite. 511 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,680 - Priyanka, do you know? - Yes? 512 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,520 My life is an open book, 513 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,202 and our team was discussing Priyanka yesterday, 514 00:26:12,292 --> 00:26:14,880 and we used AI-- Didn't exist when you were here last time. 515 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,120 - Yes. Can you imagine? - Let me show you 516 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,400 what AI says about you. 517 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,007 - Oh, God! - Hello, AI. 518 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,840 Give us detailed information about Priyanka Chopra in Hindi. 519 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:29,000 Priyanka Chopra Jonas is an internationally renowned 520 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,840 Indian actress, singer, and producer, 521 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,560 who has become one of the most prominent global figures of her generation. 522 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,280 - Wow! - Winner of the Miss World 2000 pageant, 523 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,520 and she is the highest-earning actress in India. 524 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,960 Among her many other accolades, she has been honored 525 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,960 with two National Film Awards and five Filmfare Awards. 526 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,720 Thank you, sis. 527 00:26:51,187 --> 00:26:53,720 AI is such an amazing thing. 528 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,837 Absolutely perfect information. 529 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:56,877 Can I ask her something? 530 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,080 AI, please tell us about Kapil, but keep it brief. 531 00:27:02,482 --> 00:27:05,800 Kapil Sharma is a stand-up comedian and film actor 532 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,160 who admits to being married only in Andheri West. 533 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:12,240 Elsewhere, he keeps flirting with women. 534 00:27:13,152 --> 00:27:16,612 He previously tried to seduce many film actresses, 535 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,707 but he never succeeded. 536 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,372 - He also has two kids... - Enough. 537 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,440 ...but he believes that the kids are pretty young 538 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,360 and wouldn't really find out. 539 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,400 Shut up, that's enough. 540 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,280 - This was-- - Rained on your parade. 541 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:36,642 AI will not exist one day. 542 00:27:37,472 --> 00:27:38,600 That was nonsense. 543 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,520 Come, Priyanka. Please sit. 544 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,240 A round of applause for Priyanka. 545 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,800 Today... is going to be fun! 546 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,880 - Please. - Let's do it. 547 00:27:50,372 --> 00:27:53,080 - I made this coffee for you. - Thank you, Kapil. 548 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,440 My jetlag was just kicking in. 549 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,800 How did you know? 550 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,760 I can give you a foot massage too. 551 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,040 - Should we leave? - You're persistent today. 552 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:04,600 Oh, no! Please leave. 553 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,440 Today, Priyanka is a global star, 554 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,887 but because you're Priyanka Chopra, 555 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,080 is there something you cannot do? 556 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:22,600 Actually, I have a lot of things like that in my twenties, 557 00:28:23,122 --> 00:28:27,520 you know, the itch you get to do something mischievous. 558 00:28:27,797 --> 00:28:29,747 I might not be able to do that anymore. 559 00:28:30,397 --> 00:28:33,360 - What kind of mischief? - That's what I'm afraid to say. 560 00:28:35,717 --> 00:28:37,920 Little things, like, you know... 561 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:40,160 Pranks or... 562 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,480 slipping a plate I like into my bag at dinners. 563 00:28:45,237 --> 00:28:46,120 That's what I mean. 564 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,040 You're making me say it on an international platform like Netflix. 565 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,320 You're so blessed, Archana ji. She still does it. 566 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,680 - It all comes back to me. - When she served me tea at her house, 567 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,080 all the cups were from Netflix. 568 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,920 Sidhu paaji, you travel all the way from Amritsar, or Patiala. 569 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,440 Archana ji comes from Madh island. 570 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,320 I travel from Andheri to Goregaon, and that's tiring enough. 571 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,067 You fly from LA to Mumbai, Mumbai to London and from London back to LA. 572 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,040 Apart from my charm, 573 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,760 what is the other thing that keeps you motivated? 574 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,042 You travel a lot. 575 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,600 When I look at my bank balance 576 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,520 and see the zeros increasing, it keeps me motivated. 577 00:29:33,427 --> 00:29:35,122 But, you know, 578 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,120 it's important we push ourselves. 579 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,120 If a person is not evolving, especially as an artist-- 580 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,760 - Right. - Unlike you, 581 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,927 who has been hosting the same show, but... 582 00:29:49,027 --> 00:29:50,782 Ever since this show started on Netflix, 583 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,480 it-- it has so much value. 584 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,280 The Indians who live abroad, 585 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,880 they watch your show, 586 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,320 they get to experience us and relate to the audience. 587 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,800 It's a sort of homecoming for them as well. 588 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,480 - Even I watch your show. - Seriously? 589 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,160 I do. I watch it when I'm there. 590 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,800 When I miss home, The Great Indian Kapil Show is my go-to! 591 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,320 How sweet, Priyanka! Amazing! 592 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,120 I want to know something. 593 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,840 - Yes? - Sorry, it's a very personal question. 594 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,640 But where did you and Nick meet the first time? 595 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,972 Did he deliver his message through a pigeon? 596 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,360 Not a pigeon, but the Twitter bird! 597 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,920 You guys met on Twitter? 598 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,720 He direct messaged me on Twitter, guys! 599 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,600 Well, you also had DM'd me there. 600 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,787 I missed it... by mistake. 601 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,120 Twitter really has made and broken lots of lives. 602 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,400 Right! 603 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,680 - Even I'm on Twitter. - Yes. 604 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,720 I got sued, she got whisked off! 605 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,880 But were you familiar with Nick's songs before this Twitter thing happened? 606 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:56,880 I knew of his songs 607 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,960 but wasn't too familiar with his music. 608 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,920 But then I watched a music video 609 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,832 where his shirt just gets ripped apart. 610 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,837 I said, "Well, guess we're going on a date now." 611 00:31:09,262 --> 00:31:10,320 So you saw Nick in his entirety? 612 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,240 Yes, the whole package! 613 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,080 You guys must have noticed this. 614 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,720 In Hollywood, after she got married, 615 00:31:18,067 --> 00:31:19,977 so far, she mostly did action roles 616 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,372 - and played detectives. - Right. 617 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,297 So is this a coincidence or after the marriage-- 618 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:27,627 I have become a detective! 619 00:31:29,607 --> 00:31:31,160 - No, seriously. - No, no. 620 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,640 It is a coincidence. I mean, 621 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,320 as they say, I look good with a gun in my hand. 622 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,120 So I keep getting cast with a gun in my hand. 623 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,240 As you know, nothing Priyanka does is small. 624 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,592 Everything she does is larger than life. 625 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,320 Now she's doing a film with Rajamouli sir. 626 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,440 And you know his films. 627 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,467 All big-budget films! 628 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,400 But after Priyanka joined this one, we heard the film's budget 629 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,480 rose to 1300 crores. 630 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,560 Yes. 631 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,520 So, is all of the 1,300 crore being used to make the film, 632 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,480 or are you providing jobs to people in Varanasi as well? 633 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,120 I mean, the budget rose after you joined the production. 634 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,560 Is that true? Since you're here, I wanted to confirm that. 635 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,240 Are you implying that half of it went into my bank account? 636 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,960 Look, it's pretty obvious. 637 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,160 So, you're trying to indirectly pin it on me. 638 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,400 What kind of film is it? 639 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,160 I mean, what is the plot exactly? 640 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,880 - Guess! - Rajamouli sir never revealed 641 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,240 why Kattappa killed Baahubali before the sequel came out. 642 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,840 You think he'd tell you the plot? 643 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,542 Who dare disturb us? 644 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,120 All hail Largemata! All hail Largemata! 645 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,422 All hail-- 646 00:33:13,637 --> 00:33:16,920 All hail Largemata! All hail Largemata! 647 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,400 Largemata-- 648 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,160 Largemata-- 649 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,360 Large-- Large-- Large! Large! Large! 650 00:33:28,877 --> 00:33:31,120 Will you keep on exalting her? 651 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,720 I mean, her Highness! 652 00:33:35,387 --> 00:33:38,800 - Friends, after six long years... - Yes. 653 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,880 ...she has returned to the sultanate of Kapil. 654 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,212 Oh my! 655 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,360 Her acting prowess is talked of 656 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,480 beyond the Gupta, Sharma and Dubey empires, 657 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,680 reaching even Peter, John and Simon territory! 658 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,052 Ladies and gentlemen, 659 00:33:58,600 --> 00:33:59,760 please welcome... 660 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,480 Priyanka Chopra Jonas! 661 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,240 Thank you. 662 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,840 - What happened? - What's wrong, Rajmata? 663 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,537 We made so many supplications! 664 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,560 I prayed that the day you return, 665 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,080 I'd give away something warm to the poor during the winters. 666 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,920 - That's a great thought. - Just touch it. 667 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:25,702 - Just touch it, please. - Yes. 668 00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:27,127 Just one blanket? 669 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:28,597 No. 670 00:34:29,335 --> 00:34:30,360 - And it's torn! - Give it away. 671 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,440 This-- Hey! Hello! 672 00:34:34,012 --> 00:34:35,680 You give blankets to the poor. What are you giving them? 673 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,840 What's that? 674 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,007 It works the same. 675 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,640 - How? - You could still get cold under a blanket. 676 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,640 But once this goes inside you... 677 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,480 - Nice! - Once this goes inside, 678 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,440 if you make the guy sleep on a slab of ice, 679 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,840 the ice will melt, but the man won't even flinch! 680 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,777 Forget all this, Largemata. 681 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,477 Please tell me if I should 682 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,560 address you as Priyanka Chopra or 683 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,800 PC. 684 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,522 Any name that you want to call me by 685 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,277 - I'll happily accept it. - May I tell you something? 686 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,480 You're beautiful when you're called Priyanka, 687 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,280 and equally stunning when you're called PC. 688 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,292 Thank you. 689 00:35:19,372 --> 00:35:20,787 - The short forms... - Yes? 690 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,320 - aren't everybody's cup of tea. - Oh! 691 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,120 - Yes, exactly why I said it. - Hear me out. 692 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,552 Navjot Singh Sidhu is such a nice name. 693 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,720 Its short form goes as follows... 694 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:30,947 NSS. 695 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,080 Comes off as a government exam form that needs to be filled! 696 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:41,840 Archana Puran Singh is such a pretty name. 697 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:43,702 Now, APS... 698 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,920 seems like a tire company! 699 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,800 "APS Tire." 700 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,800 "With Kapil on every journey!" 701 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,920 - Well, PC ji, - Yes? 702 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,302 you'll be happy to know that our friend 703 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:04,320 Rajagoli ji has sent you a present. 704 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,600 - Oh, what is it? - What is it? 705 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,592 A priceless necklace! 706 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,800 Look! 707 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,552 - This is a broccoli! - Nope, 708 00:36:12,162 --> 00:36:13,640 that is not important. 709 00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:15,567 What's important is that it is green. 710 00:36:16,087 --> 00:36:17,892 - Okay? - Rajagoli ji will use VFX 711 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,960 to make it a priceless necklace. 712 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,240 You know, Rajagoli ji loves VFX so much 713 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,080 that when he gets tired, he doesn't relax. 714 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,600 He VFXs! 715 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,480 Even Largemata for that matter doesn't wax. 716 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:36,960 She VFXs! 717 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,360 Your Rajmata's sideburns are peeking. 718 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,760 The Nawazuddin Siddiqui inside you is leaking out! 719 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,600 By the way, I had some gifts for our beautiful Desi Girl. 720 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,280 - Come. Please. - Oh, yes. Bring forth. 721 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,920 - I thought broccoli was it! - Yes. 722 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,600 - PC ji, since you've moved to America... - Yes. 723 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,640 what does one miss the most after going to America? 724 00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,840 One's country's soil, air and water! 725 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,800 Did you wash your hands with that water? 726 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,880 Oh, no. It's panipuri water. 727 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,400 Right! 728 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,760 No matter where girls go, even if they go to the moon, 729 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,920 it is panipuri water they miss the most. 730 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,200 Agreed. Absolutely right. 731 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,920 But the country air that you've brought for me, 732 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,440 whose mouth did it come from? 733 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:37,720 That's a secret. 734 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,040 Good question! 735 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:41,840 - Can I say something, Priyanka ji? - Sure. 736 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,907 Just like you, I used to a desi girl. 737 00:37:45,692 --> 00:37:47,360 Really? Then what changed? 738 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,880 She's still a desi girl through and through. 739 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,520 She bathes holding on to a buffalo's tail. 740 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,520 When have I ever hold your tail while bathing? 741 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,400 - What are you here for? - Time pass! 742 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,057 - I am bored with Bollywood now. - I see. 743 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,880 - I want to go to Hollywood. - Oh. 744 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,320 Wearing saris, governing and ruling-- I'm bored. 745 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,680 - Oh. - I also want to wear bikinis 746 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,160 in Baywatch and run after foreigners. 747 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:18,280 Must be done! 748 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,920 I want to romance the Rock. 749 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,240 - Of course. - She romance the Rock? 750 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,880 Trust me, once the wig is off, she herself looks like John Cena! 751 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,040 That's it. This is why I want to move to Hollywood, 752 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,840 why I want to work with the Rock 753 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,720 and why I want to work with Vin Diesel! 754 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,160 I can't go around with this diesel-powered man all my life! 755 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,512 - Largemata, you are forgetting... - What? 756 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,212 I know that I am exactly Priyanka ji's type. 757 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,760 - How? - Admit it, you like bald people. 758 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,400 Kancha Cheena from Agneepath. 759 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,600 - The Rock, Baywatch. - Correct! Correct. 760 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,840 If you look closely, from up here, 761 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,360 - I do look like the Rock. - Yes, you do. 762 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,360 Priyanka ji, he might look like the Rock from above 763 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,840 but from the neck down, he's an entire block! 764 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:11,400 A few days ago, he was standing on a street 765 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,560 - and caused a traffic jam there. - How? 766 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,120 Someone shoved a traffic signal in his navel! 767 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,400 You've heard of people oiling their navels? 768 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,280 You can fetch a pail of oil from his! 769 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,297 Oh, God! 770 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,000 You should take me to Hollywood. 771 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,800 Is that so? What do you want to do there? 772 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,600 I can do a lot. Can I demo King Kong for now live? 773 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:38,640 Yes, please. 774 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:40,662 - Ready? - Yes, ready. 775 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,280 Priyanka ji! 776 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,360 - Wow! - I think I'll go to Hollywood later. 777 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,877 I ought to drop him off at a zoo first. 778 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,760 Let's go. 779 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:19,960 Come on! 780 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,480 Bye, Kattappa! 781 00:40:25,950 --> 00:40:28,190 I forgot how much we laugh on this show! 782 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,000 Priyanka, our Indian audience has become so witty 783 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,400 even since we have social media. 784 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,320 - Really? - I'll show you the proof. 785 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,480 We have some of your posts. 786 00:40:38,017 --> 00:40:40,080 - Wait for the hilarious comments. - Oh God! 787 00:40:41,117 --> 00:40:46,480 KOMMENTER'S KRAVING 788 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,520 Here we have the first picture of Priyanka 789 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,440 taken in Orlando, Florida. 790 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,720 - "Notice a theme here... it's ssssssubtle." - Subtle. 791 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,040 - I got it. - Priyanka, is this a real anaconda? 792 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,560 Yes. The snake's actually called a boa constrictor. 793 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,400 - Oh! - It constricts you. 794 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,280 - It constricts you! Squeezes you. - Squeezes you. 795 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,480 Anyone would love to squeeze you, I mean... 796 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,240 Let's check the comments. 797 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,960 - "Wow! Priyanka Cobra" - Cobra! 798 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,062 Another one. 799 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,360 "This photo reminds me of my wife." 800 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,120 "She also clings on to me like that." 801 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:27,720 Let's see another. 802 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:28,920 "Nick is thinking, 803 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,840 'She has the snake by its neck. What will become of me?'" 804 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,240 - Another one. - Nick was so distraught. 805 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:37,640 He wouldn't come near me. 806 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:40,840 I said, "Get a little closer. At least let me get a picture." 807 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,080 Let's see some more. 808 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,760 "My friends call me a snake. You can hug me, too." 809 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,560 - That sounds like you, Kapil. - You have written it, Kapil! 810 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,040 That was definitely you. 811 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,440 - All three of us are saying it. - How did you know? 812 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:54,520 Another one, please. 813 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,600 Priyanka in New York-- Oh, look behind her. 814 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,480 So many Priyankas in the mirrors. 815 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,640 I took that in a washroom. What could've people commented on it? 816 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:04,667 - Oh, you never know. - They don't spare anyone. Don't worry. 817 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,600 "What a class Priyanka is... She wears a tie even in the bathroom." 818 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:14,480 Really nice. Let's see another one. 819 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,240 "My name is Ravi Chopra, and my mother's name is Priyanka Chopra." 820 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,760 "Tomorrow, I have a parents-teacher meeting." 821 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,160 "My mom's visiting Granny." 822 00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:25,800 "It would help me a lot if you could take her place." 823 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,000 So someone replied to the comment, 824 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,000 "Be honest, is that really you or is your father using your account?" 825 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:37,960 Show us more. 826 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,462 What a beautiful picture! 827 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,600 - "Happy Karwa Chauth and yes I'm filmy." - Oh, Karwa Chauth! 828 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,840 "A true Hindustani who promotes the customs and traditions of India." 829 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:48,960 Very nice! 830 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,280 Let's see another. 831 00:42:52,907 --> 00:42:54,120 "Nick's ear is red." 832 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,892 "He was surely caught having samosas before they broke the fast." 833 00:42:59,527 --> 00:43:02,240 - Let's see another. - That was a superb comment! 834 00:43:03,107 --> 00:43:05,240 "Here's Nick renewing his life insurance." 835 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,440 That was superb! 836 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,280 Best one! 837 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,160 This was the best! Number one! 838 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,527 People are damn geniuses! Really! 839 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:16,600 That's a huge-- Such a beautiful picture. 840 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,600 "I was crowned Miss World at this arena 24 years ago..." 841 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,400 It's quite long. I'll give you the gist? 842 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,040 Yes. So what's it about? 843 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,760 Nick was performing in the O2 Arena, 844 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,440 and I didn't remember this then, but someone reminded me 845 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:33,920 that 24 years ago, 846 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,360 I was crowned the Miss World in the same arena. 847 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,400 - Wow! - So... 848 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:40,752 Let's take a look at the comments. 849 00:43:41,137 --> 00:43:44,000 "According to research, a passionate kiss 850 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,720 can burn anywhere from five to twenty-six calories per minute, 851 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,280 as long as it is with your wife." 852 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,400 "If not, you could lose a lot more." 853 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,120 "My uncle even lost his head." 854 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,162 Let's see another one. 855 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,800 "Nick Jonas taking his bonus." 856 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,280 - That's a good one. - Another, please. 857 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,480 "At least you're kissing him." 858 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,080 "My wife comes this close to me only to sniff my mouth 859 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,480 to see if I had a drink." 860 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,200 Malti looks so cute! 861 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:20,400 She's hiding her face. 862 00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:21,640 Yeah, she's like, "No..." 863 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,680 Priyanka, you enjoyed growing up in India. 864 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,600 Now Malti is growing up in the US. 865 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,320 Is there anything in India 866 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,600 that Malti would miss because she's not growing up here? 867 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:36,280 She travels to India often. She accompanied me to Hyderabad. 868 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,520 She has visited Mumbai and Delhi. 869 00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,312 She's traveled all over India. She even visited Ayodhya with me. 870 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,760 I've tried my best to familiarize her with our culture and traditions 871 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,560 - as much as possible. - So beautiful. 872 00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:52,240 Whenever she puts on a pair of ghagra-choli, 873 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,640 she calls herself as Indian princess. 874 00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:57,160 She loves wearing ghagras and bindis. 875 00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,160 I also get her bangles all the time. 876 00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:02,040 Of course, the daughter of a queen would consider herself a princess. 877 00:45:02,695 --> 00:45:03,612 Thank you. 878 00:45:04,647 --> 00:45:07,280 We also have some fun questions from your fans. 879 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,247 Oh my! 880 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,080 They say you have Nick dress up in Indian attire often. 881 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,040 We've seen pictures of it on the internet. 882 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,520 Have you ever made him try Indian pickles? 883 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,160 It opens up all our seven chakras! Wakes you up! 884 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,240 Pickles do stimulate the taste buds. 885 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,600 I have, and he actually likes them a lot. 886 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,360 He loves them with Indian food 887 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,400 because we have all kinds of Indian pickles at home. 888 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,440 But imagine making an American... 889 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,480 - try a Hajmola. - Oh! 890 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:38,280 He had a Hajmola? 891 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:45,092 Seriously? 892 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,120 You don't have to say anything. We got it. 893 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:56,440 I have a drawer filled with aam papad, Hajmola, 894 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,920 and many tangy snacks at home. 895 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,440 Nick kept asking me what's in this drawer. 896 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,360 I told him, "It's better you stay away." 897 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,962 "This might be a bit beyond you." 898 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,960 But he always wants to know everything. 899 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,587 So I gave him a Hajmola. 900 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,320 It opened him up! 901 00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:19,080 He's like, "Why does this smell like farts?" 902 00:46:19,857 --> 00:46:20,717 What?! 903 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,160 If you had to give Nick a Punjabi nickname-- 904 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,640 You know, many relatives, aunties, uncles and the kinds, 905 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:35,242 might find it difficult to say his full name, Nick Jonas. 906 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,280 So what Punjabi name would you give him? 907 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,360 My aunts, uncles, they all go, "Nickwa, Nicki, 908 00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:41,567 - Nicku!" - Nicko! 909 00:46:41,970 --> 00:46:43,387 - They already do that? - Yes. 910 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,480 One of my... 911 00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,720 One day, he calls him "Nicker!" 912 00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,280 Who was that? 913 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,360 Nicker?! 914 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,840 Poor Nick, what must he think? 915 00:47:00,207 --> 00:47:03,960 These are people in my family who need a limit on their drinks. 916 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,040 "Nicker, come here!" 917 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:13,560 Have you shared with Nick things about our Indian spices-- 918 00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,640 For example, drinking fennel water cuts down bloating. 919 00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:18,320 Have you tried these remedies with him? 920 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:19,560 Not that one particularly, 921 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,760 but the decoction we have when get sick here, 922 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,560 we always make that back home. 923 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,892 So Nick has the decoction and hot water no matter where he is. 924 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:28,737 - He knows that much. - Nice. 925 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,360 You're not just passing on the culture to the kids, 926 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,280 but you've also turned your husband into half an Indian. 927 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,920 Yeah, my mother-in-law sends me sargi for Karwa Chauth. 928 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,287 - Sargi? - Yes. 929 00:47:39,612 --> 00:47:43,837 And when you explained to Nick why and how Karwa Chauth is celebrated, 930 00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,360 - he must have been so happy. - Very happy! It's his favorite. 931 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,280 "Wow, you fast for my well-being." 932 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,200 It's his favorite holiday. 933 00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,200 Now we've-- 934 00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:00,400 By now, we've looked for the moon in the strangest places. 935 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,240 Once, he was at a stadium somewhere. 936 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,640 There's a show going on. You cannot see the moon. 937 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,800 It's cloudy and about to rain. 938 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,880 He was performing for about sixty to seventy thousand people. 939 00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,720 It's past eleven, but we couldn't see it. 940 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,052 - Oh. - This was a pretty romantic thing. 941 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,960 He flew me above the clouds in his plane 942 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,880 - and there... - Oh, my! That's amazing! 943 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,360 And there I broke my fast. 944 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,800 - Nice, right? - In the clouds? 945 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:28,920 In the clouds! 946 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,040 So is that all you did up there? 947 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,960 I had some sweets as well! 948 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:40,840 - Kapil... - Yes? 949 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,840 ...you ask too many questions and talk a lot. 950 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,720 I get it, it's only natural, it's your show after all, but... 951 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,840 I have known you for so long. Can I ask you some questions? 952 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,040 - Why not? - Why not? Are you ready? 953 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,240 - Yeah. - I'll be the host. 954 00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:54,760 Netflix, this is my audition. 955 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,760 - I hope I do a good job. - Oh my God! 956 00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:58,480 You just say the word. 957 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,280 - You don't need to audition! - Amazing! 958 00:49:02,862 --> 00:49:05,960 You're an actor, you've done movies. If you ever work in Hollywood, 959 00:49:06,307 --> 00:49:09,877 would you prefer action or romance? 960 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,462 - I'll go for romance first. - Okay. 961 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,160 Then action. Because if I go for action first, I'll be exhausted. 962 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:24,480 Something you'd say to me when the cameras are off 963 00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:26,800 but not on the show. 964 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,000 Well, there's something, but... 965 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,800 I can't say it on camera... 966 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,840 - Oh my. - ...or when the cameras are off. 967 00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,840 Alright. Please zoom in on Kapil's face. Slow zoom. 968 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,640 - Say it! - Why so shy? 969 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,242 - Don't be shy. - That's right. 970 00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,080 - No, I mean-- - No? 971 00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,720 I'll tell you after the show. 972 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,240 - He won't. - Let's flip that then. 973 00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,240 Tell me something you can say on the show but not off camera. 974 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,320 If a guest takes this long to answer, 975 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,880 - the show will run out of time. - He is trapped. 976 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,600 - No, I mean-- - He's trapped. 977 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,440 I-- Well, I do love you. 978 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,162 - I can say that on camera and off. - Dear me! 979 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,880 Priyanka's questions trap you! 980 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,520 - Alright, another question. - Yes. 981 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,640 - Let's say you wake up one morning... - Okay. 982 00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:26,882 as Priyanka Chopra. 983 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,040 Don't let your mind stray... 984 00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,080 - ...while you answer this one. - I wake up 985 00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,872 - as Priyanka Chopra? - Yes. 986 00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:38,160 I'll call Kapil Sharma first thing. 987 00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:39,480 - What will you say? - To say, 988 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,400 "No matter what, you are my one true love." 989 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,800 That was what I couldn't say earlier. 990 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,480 I could admit it since I woke up as Priyanka Chopra. 991 00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:54,120 - You had your wish! - I got it out one way or another. 992 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,680 I'm so scared of what she'll ask next. 993 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,440 You had your wish! 994 00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:01,320 Priyanka, your fans want to chat with you. 995 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:04,160 You could ask her questions or make requests. 996 00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:06,000 Yes, sir? Oh, they're matching. 997 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:08,642 - Wow, coordinated outfits! - Wow! 998 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,280 Yes, sir. 999 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,760 - Hello, Kapil sir. - Hello, sir. 1000 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:13,120 - Hello, Priyanka ma'am. - Namaste. 1001 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,400 - Hello, everyone. - Hello. 1002 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,360 My name is Ravi Chothwani. 1003 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,600 - I've come from Ulhasnagar. - Welcome to the show. 1004 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:23,800 On your show, you always have new and-- 1005 00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:27,040 - or beautiful heroines. - Yes. 1006 00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:30,560 And Sidhu paaji always has couplets ready for them. 1007 00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,840 - Yes. - So, it's a sincere wish, 1008 00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:36,920 my desire, that Sidhu paaji and Priyanka ma'am 1009 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,200 dance together. 1010 00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:40,960 We want to see that too! 1011 00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,240 This is for the best! 1012 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:47,767 We also want to see this. 1013 00:51:48,682 --> 00:51:49,767 This is a googly. 1014 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,207 Sidhu paaji, please step up. 1015 00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:58,080 Priyanka, Sidhu paaji has never dance-- He's always so shy. 1016 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,680 So, one of the world's best dancers paired 1017 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:03,760 with the worst one! 1018 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,560 - A recipe for disaster indeed! - Play a song right away. 1019 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:39,840 Clap it up! 1020 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,440 You killed it, paaji! 1021 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:45,347 The credit goes to Priyanka. 1022 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,560 Paaji was so shy. He kept looking down. 1023 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,040 He was looking down. 1024 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,760 But, sir, you lied. You can dance. 1025 00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:59,000 - No! - I saw the dancer that came out of you. 1026 00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,280 Give it up! Welcome, welcome! 1027 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,480 I, Diamond Raja, joining Archana ji and Sidhu sahab, 1028 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,120 proprietor of Chak Chak Dhoom band from Jamnapaar. 1029 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,322 The number one orchestra band in Jamnapaar, friends! 1030 00:53:32,927 --> 00:53:35,200 - I, Diamond Raja, welcome you all. - Well said! 1031 00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:40,400 Not from the rivers of Hollywood or the mountains... 1032 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:41,520 Nice. 1033 00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,360 Not from the rivers of Hollywood or their mountains... 1034 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,560 Your love and affection drew me here all the way from Jamnapaar! 1035 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:48,600 Wow! 1036 00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:55,272 Some might think this is inspired from the Hollywood sign. No. 1037 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,280 No, no. This is a direct copy, my friends. 1038 00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:02,520 What's this fragrance packed with pure charm? 1039 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,087 This fragrance-- 1040 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,120 - From here? - Oh, Priyanka Chopra! 1041 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,360 - Hello! - How are you? 1042 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,560 Come here. 1043 00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,360 So fortunate... 1044 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:25,800 is the lipstick adorning your lips. 1045 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:27,040 Dear me! 1046 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,480 So fortunate is the nail polish on your nails. 1047 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:30,400 Oh my! 1048 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,680 So fortunate is the lettuce-- 1049 00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,760 - the little piece stuck in your teeth. - Oh, God! 1050 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,600 Nonsense! Look at her! There's no lettuce in her teeth. 1051 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:42,760 - I can't look at her. - Why? 1052 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,120 You're the one we can't look at. 1053 00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,400 I can't look at her, Sidhu ji. I might lose control. 1054 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:52,760 - Oh, wow! - You'll be fine. 1055 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,640 People in 192 countries are watching her. You can, too. 1056 00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:57,760 I cannot handle it. Kapil, let it be. Don't force me. 1057 00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,577 Just look at her. 1058 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,152 - Just look at her. Not a big deal. - Go on. 1059 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,160 What happened? 1060 00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:13,920 Sir, are you alright? 1061 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,040 Ask her to ask me that. 1062 00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,052 Ask her, yes, to ask me that. 1063 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,002 What happened? 1064 00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,720 That'll kill him! 1065 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,120 He can't get up. 1066 00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,867 - Are you okay? - Oh, no! 1067 00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,080 Mister? 1068 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,480 I hope you're dead? 1069 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,480 I mean, are you all right? 1070 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,040 You want an ointment-- 1071 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,480 What's triggering this song? Is there a button here? 1072 00:56:00,720 --> 00:56:02,760 - How are you? - He's looking for a button. 1073 00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:04,600 Well, I certainly liked that. 1074 00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,927 - I cannot be looking into your eyes. - Okay. 1075 00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,080 Your eyes can give anyone a high. 1076 00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:16,232 I've heard that before. 1077 00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,007 But I want to tell you something. 1078 00:56:20,720 --> 00:56:22,447 - Priyanka ji, in life... - Yes? 1079 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,207 ...many laptops come and go, 1080 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:26,640 Laptops? 1081 00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:27,562 but... 1082 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,080 no one can hold a candle to PC. 1083 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:38,760 - You're right. - Diamond Raja sahab. 1084 00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:43,760 You came up with the two-bit pickup lines, 1085 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,082 but do you know she's married? 1086 00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:49,947 Nobody told me that. 1087 00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,080 So, this is Diamond Raja. 1088 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,560 Proprietor of Chak Chak Dhoom orchestra band. 1089 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,960 - Contact me for parties. - I will. Thank you so much. 1090 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:00,427 - Please have a seat. - Sure. 1091 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,960 - Make yourself at home. - Why not! 1092 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:06,800 - So you're married? - Yes. 1093 00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,242 - Seven years ago. - Okay. 1094 00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,817 - What's your husband's name? - Nick Jonas. 1095 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:12,960 What's the full name? It's a nickname. 1096 00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:14,080 Nick-- 1097 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,160 Nick! 1098 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:22,600 Good question. His actual name is Nicholas Jerry Jonas. 1099 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,680 What is it? 1100 00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,920 Nicholas Jerry Jonas. 1101 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,680 - He's from Hollywood, America. - So he is a US-tani. 1102 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,280 US-tani! 1103 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,360 - US-tani. - I get plenty of Hollywood offers. 1104 00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:39,800 - Yes? - But... 1105 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,000 Not your type? 1106 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,760 - Is that a bit too much? - Why not? 1107 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,280 Why? What did they do? 1108 00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:53,520 - I don't understand them. - You don't? 1109 00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,192 I just don't get it. 1110 00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,267 When you act, it should show. 1111 00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:02,120 Or you aren't serious about your craft. 1112 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,920 They get real. They don't act. 1113 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,960 How is it acting if you can't tell he's acting? 1114 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:09,567 - Or it becomes real. - Correct. 1115 00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,680 If it's too natural, it's not acting. 1116 00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,880 Since you're supposed to act-- It's work. 1117 00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,240 Take Marlon Brando in The Godfather. 1118 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:18,440 - Right? - Brando! 1119 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,360 "I'll give you an offer you cannot refuse..." 1120 00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,240 I mean, that's just real. 1121 00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,840 - Correct. - Acting should be like... 1122 00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,440 "Bheema is finally out of jail!" That's acting. 1123 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,840 They're paying you for it. 1124 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,480 It's your bread and butter. Where's the due diligence? 1125 00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,160 You should conduct an acting workshop with me. 1126 00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:40,680 Sure. Repeat after me, "Bheema is finally out of jail!" 1127 00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,920 Bheema is finally out of jail! 1128 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,360 - Now this is acting. - Wow, yes. 1129 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,320 I'm a good student. Anything else? 1130 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,280 This natural delivery of dialogue is no fun. 1131 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,147 What else is stopping you? 1132 00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,320 Not much, but in Hollywood... 1133 00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,760 I got another email from Hollywood, but I said... 1134 00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:03,280 - I see. - No way. 1135 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,240 I can't. Over there... 1136 00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,000 - Yes? - ...I can't do their kissing scenes. 1137 00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:13,640 They won't ask you. Even your wife doesn't kiss you. 1138 00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,160 Hollywood directors dole out kissing scenes 1139 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,600 as if giving away blankets to the poor during winters. 1140 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,760 "A kissing scene for my heroine. One for the hero." 1141 00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:27,000 "You're the villain? You get one too." 1142 00:59:28,757 --> 00:59:30,440 The guy's in the hospital, 1143 00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,640 a girl walks in, takes off his oxygen mask and kisses him. 1144 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,880 Does the girl have more oxygen than oxygen cylinders? 1145 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,200 She's kissing him when he's about to die. 1146 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,280 You could've waited a month. 1147 00:59:44,895 --> 00:59:47,800 If he makes it, you can kiss him all you want. Don't kill him now. 1148 00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,280 - You're right. - In this one movie, 1149 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:53,720 the whole world is on fire, 1150 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,360 but Spider-Man's kissing a girl hanging upside down. 1151 00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:58,480 Makes no sense. 1152 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,600 Spiderman gets his kiss while the world goes to hell! 1153 01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,800 Right? He could've saved two people in the same time. 1154 01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,192 - I cannot do that. - You're right. 1155 01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:16,167 So I turned them down. 1156 01:00:16,792 --> 01:00:18,692 So, everything fine with you? 1157 01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,200 - Yes, everything's fine. - Okay. 1158 01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:24,240 - You know, I have a show on the 31st. - Okay. 1159 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:25,602 So, I want... 1160 01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,560 - You want? - ...you to be there. 1161 01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,722 Don't think I come empty-handed. 1162 01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,337 Here's a check for the advance. 1163 01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,607 Fifty-one hundred rupees. 1164 01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,840 - Fifty-one hundred! - You are a top actor. 1165 01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:39,640 I have never paid anyone that much money. 1166 01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:40,960 Okay? 1167 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,120 Seriously. You're the highest-paid Bollywood actor. 1168 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,560 So we gave you our best offer. 1169 01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:47,360 Okay? 1170 01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:49,680 Food, drinks, and travel are on the house. 1171 01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,927 - I see. - You get window seat in the front. 1172 01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:54,040 In first class? 1173 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,442 No, in the Sumo. 1174 01:00:58,200 --> 01:00:59,880 We'll get there in a Sumo. 1175 01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:03,960 It's the best seat in the car, gets a lot of breeze. 1176 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:05,400 What would I be doing? 1177 01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:09,557 You will be singing a duet with me on New Year's Eve. 1178 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:11,920 - Okay. - Only if you agree. 1179 01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,960 I have a band. Come on, let's have a practice session. 1180 01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,920 My friends, give it up for her! 1181 01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,080 I'll give you a starting kit. 1182 01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:25,120 - Okay. - Pappu, medium silver, gold... 1183 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:27,952 PC. One piece. 1184 01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:32,080 Wow! 1185 01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,252 Oh, my God! 1186 01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:40,277 - This is your... - Oh, my God! 1187 01:01:41,447 --> 01:01:43,360 - P and C. - It's a jacket. 1188 01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:44,960 Oh, wow! 1189 01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,200 - This is for you. - Custom? Wow! 1190 01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:57,200 - Like this! - That will do! 1191 01:01:58,200 --> 01:01:59,360 PC! 1192 01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:00,560 PC. 1193 01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,640 - It looks really nice, actually. - I like it. 1194 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,680 - It's working? I like it. - It's looking really nice. 1195 01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,480 Friends, from Bollywood and Hollywood 1196 01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:13,160 straight to Jamnapaar! 1197 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,440 How is your English? 1198 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,287 It's okay. Workable. 1199 01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:20,280 That's all we want. 1200 01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:22,760 - As per your requirement. - Fine. 1201 01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:27,880 Here's a song. Presenting to you! Priyanka Chopra! 1202 01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:29,517 One... 1203 01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:33,920 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve! 1204 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:36,137 A dozen. 1205 01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,640 {\an8}We'll play music all night 1206 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,280 {\an8}We'll play music all night 1207 01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,520 {\an8}Honey, dance slowly 1208 01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,280 {\an8}Baby, dance slowly, slowly! 1209 01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:01,920 {\an8}Baby, dance slowly, slowly! 1210 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:12,040 {\an8}Baby, dance slowly, slowly! Baby, dance slowly, slowly! 1211 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:19,320 {\an8}The party will go on all night Honey, drink slowly 1212 01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:24,480 {\an8}Baby, drink slowly, slowly Baby, drink slowly, slowly 1213 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:34,440 {\an8}Many twists and turns on the road 1214 01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:41,640 {\an8}Many twists and turns on the road Honey, drive slowly 1215 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:49,600 {\an8}Baby, drive slowly, slowly Drive slowly, slowly 1216 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:59,800 {\an8}As we inch closer to midnight Start the countdown slowly 1217 01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,480 {\an8}Countdown, but slowly, slowly 1218 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:12,000 {\an8}Baby, dance slowly, slowly Baby, dance slowly, slowly 1219 01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:17,160 {\an8}Baby, dance slowly, slowly Baby, dance slowly, slowly 1220 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:27,920 Give it up! 1221 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,840 It's time for the countdown! 1222 01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:36,080 {\an8}Nine, eight, seven, six, five... four! 1223 01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:37,560 {\an8}But slowly, slowly! 1224 01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:40,040 {\an8}But slowly, slowly 1225 01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,560 - Happy New Year, everyone! - Happy New Year! 1226 01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:52,547 Give it up for Priyanka Chopra! 1227 01:04:53,827 --> 01:04:55,557 A very happy New Year! 1228 01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,960 Merry Christmas! And thus begins season four! 1229 01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:00,240 Yay! 1230 01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:03,320 With Priyanka Chopra! 1231 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,560 This song is quite a banger. 1232 01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:10,480 Baby, but slowly, slowly! Baby, but slowly, slowly! 1233 01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:15,640 Baby, but slowly, slowly! Baby, but slowly, slowly! 1234 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000 Your husband is also in a band, right? 1235 01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:21,337 Yes. 1236 01:05:21,862 --> 01:05:23,760 You sure do have a type! 1237 01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,240 - Can I keep this jacket? - Please. This is yours. 1238 01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:29,440 - All yours. - Thank you. 1239 01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:31,640 Thank you, my friends. One, two! One, two! 1240 01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,800 Please give it up for Priyanka Chopra! 1241 01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,552 I want to say something. All of you know 1242 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:56,827 that PC is an actor, 1243 01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:58,677 and she sang so well. 1244 01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:02,400 You just read the lyrics, but you sang so well. 1245 01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:04,320 - You are a magician, PC. - Thank you. 1246 01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:05,600 Thank you so much for coming. 1247 01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:07,320 - You're a sweetheart. - Thank you. 1248 01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:09,480 Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. 1249 01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:14,520 PC, before you leave, do you have anything to say to your fans? 1250 01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:16,120 The New Year's also coming up. 1251 01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:17,322 I just want to say 1252 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:20,520 that we live in a strange, unpredictable world 1253 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,360 with all kinds of people. 1254 01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,577 A lot of negativity on social media. So choose kindness. 1255 01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:28,840 Please treat everyone around you well. 1256 01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:30,200 Make them laugh. 1257 01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:31,840 This is the most important thing. 1258 01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,400 My friends, we've begun season four 1259 01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:37,200 with this blockbuster episode. 1260 01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:40,240 We'll be back next week with another one of our favorite stars. 1261 01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:42,360 Until then, keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show. 1262 01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,080 Every Funnyday for a fresh dose of fun! Good night. 1263 01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:46,600 Thank you so much! 1264 01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,360 {\an8}Let's welcome the World Cup-winning team! 1265 01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,560 {\an8}They went to meet the Prime Minister, they wore their uniforms. 1266 01:06:58,640 --> 01:06:59,760 {\an8}But for this show, 1267 01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:01,640 {\an8}they chose their best party outfits. 1268 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,920 {\an8}I've been getting so many messages, 1269 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,520 {\an8}"Since the whole team's coming on the show, 1270 01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:09,200 {\an8}please share our marriage proposals with them." 1271 01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:10,377 {\an8}I haven't received any. 1272 01:07:10,562 --> 01:07:12,080 {\an8}Renuka, weren't you reading those messages? 1273 01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:15,200 {\an8}She asked me "Is this one good?" 1274 01:07:17,612 --> 01:07:19,040 {\an8}When they went to meet the Prime Minister, 1275 01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:22,272 {\an8}she said, "Prime Minister sahab, what cream do you use on your face?" 1276 01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:30,960 {\an8}You know, your navel's big enough to host a kids cricket match. 1277 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:33,692 {\an8}He's always looking at the basketball. 1278 01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:37,400 {\an8}"The way women cheerlead in men's cricket, 1279 01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:40,240 {\an8}I want men to cheerlead in women's cricket." 1280 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:42,120 {\an8}But it's the audience who enjoys it. 1281 01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:43,520 {\an8}Also the ones who watch it on TV. 1282 01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,360 {\an8}Even for them, women are better. 1283 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,720 {\an8}All hail Pramod and Bittu! 1284 01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:52,080 {\an8}People on social media are calling you Shah Rukh Khan from Chak De! 1285 01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:53,760 {\an8}- Not the "Chak De!" one. - Sir is lying. 1286 01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,200 {\an8}He changed his name. 1287 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:58,000 {\an8}He was Amol Muzumdar. He became Kabir Muzumdar. 1288 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,440 {\an8}Where are you going? 99005