Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,967 --> 00:00:04,674
Ohh! A brain freeze
before 8:00 a.m.
2
00:00:04,675 --> 00:00:06,549
This is living.
3
00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:08,507
So, we're just having ice cream
for breakfast?
4
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,966
Really?
Uh, uh, uh.
5
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,299
You said in the week
leading up to the Gala,
6
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,591
you were gonna have
your hands full.
7
00:00:12,592 --> 00:00:13,424
So your instructions
were to--
8
00:00:13,425 --> 00:00:14,507
Oliver?
9
00:00:14,508 --> 00:00:16,632
As Mom said--
and I quote--
10
00:00:16,633 --> 00:00:19,132
"Pretend I ran off to Mexico
with a guy named Enrique.
11
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,091
You're now a single father
with three kids.
12
00:00:21,092 --> 00:00:22,549
Parent as you will."
13
00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,091
That was taken
out of context.
14
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,049
You're right.
The context was,
15
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:27,632
"Parent as you will.
16
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:29,507
And, Oliver, if you don't stop
writing this down,
17
00:00:29,508 --> 00:00:31,257
I will stab that pen
in your eye."
18
00:00:31,258 --> 00:00:33,924
See? Now we see the full
picture. But can I just say--
19
00:00:33,925 --> 00:00:35,757
There also was
a no-comment clause.
20
00:00:35,758 --> 00:00:37,341
Fine.
21
00:00:37,342 --> 00:00:39,632
I won't comment
on things--
22
00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:41,549
things like Anna-Kat
not making her bed,
23
00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,216
Taylor coming in
past curfew,
24
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,841
and Oliver
heading to ballet practice
25
00:00:44,842 --> 00:00:46,341
in his good
recital leotard.
26
00:00:46,342 --> 00:00:47,382
Boys will be boys.
27
00:00:47,383 --> 00:00:48,757
You know what?
Be fun all you want.
28
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,174
I'm not gonna let your happiness
get me down.
29
00:00:51,175 --> 00:00:52,716
You know, for the Gala being
tomorrow, you seem relaxed.
30
00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:54,466
That's because everything
is in order.
31
00:00:54,467 --> 00:00:56,424
All I have to do is
drop off the fliers at school
32
00:00:56,425 --> 00:00:58,466
to remind people
to dress in Indian garb
33
00:00:58,467 --> 00:00:59,841
for the big
Bollywood party.
34
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,924
I'm heading out.
Do you want me to take the kids?
35
00:01:01,925 --> 00:01:03,674
No, thanks.
I'm bringing them in late
36
00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:05,924
just to add a little fun
to Fun Dad Friday.
37
00:01:05,925 --> 00:01:07,549
Hmm.
38
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:09,342
Head shakes
are also commenting!
39
00:01:10,425 --> 00:01:11,757
Dad,
let's blow off school
40
00:01:11,758 --> 00:01:13,591
and go visit Hans Gruber
at the farm!
41
00:01:13,592 --> 00:01:15,091
That would be classic
Fun Dad.
42
00:01:15,092 --> 00:01:17,091
Guys, that may be
taking this too far.
43
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:19,466
Remember three seconds ago
when Dad was awesome?
44
00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:22,133
Hey, Boring Dad, where's your
shawl-collared sweater?
45
00:01:25,967 --> 00:01:28,341
Grant,
cancel my office hours.
46
00:01:28,342 --> 00:01:29,674
We're going to a farm.
47
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,592
This must be how Kenny G feels
when he steps out onstage.
48
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,507
Hi, Principal Ablin.
49
00:01:45,508 --> 00:01:46,924
{\an8}I hope you've got
your sari ready
50
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:48,507
{\an8}for the Gala
tomorrow night.
51
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:51,216
{\an8}Actually, traditional Indian
attire for men isn't a sari.
52
00:01:51,217 --> 00:01:52,674
{\an8}It's called a kurta.
53
00:01:52,675 --> 00:01:54,966
{\an8}I have one
in beautiful magenta silk
54
00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:57,841
{\an8}that I picked up when I lived in
an ashram outside of Varanasi.
55
00:01:57,842 --> 00:02:00,049
{\an8}I was wracked with dysentery
the entire time.
56
00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:03,299
{\an8}Bright side--
got down to my Speedo weight.
57
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,091
So, there's
Penny's classroom.
58
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,466
{\an8}Now, get in there and make
some crafts with the kids.
59
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:08,757
{\an8}I still don't
understand this.
60
00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,466
{\an8}You're room mother.
Penny is your kid.
61
00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:11,841
Why am I doing this?
62
00:02:11,842 --> 00:02:14,049
{\an8}Because you work for me,
you're crafty,
63
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,424
{\an8}and you don't have to worry
about ruining your clothes
64
00:02:15,425 --> 00:02:16,466
'cause they're so terrible.
65
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,757
So, get in there.
Bye!
66
00:02:18,758 --> 00:02:20,507
{\an8}I called the
Chamber of Commerce,
67
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,424
{\an8}and they said you're paying me
below minimum wage.
68
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:24,757
{\an8}And I called the Chamber
of Doughy, Pale Bodies,
69
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:25,924
{\an8}and they said
you're their president.
70
00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:28,049
{\an8}Now get in there and delight
my daughter's class!
71
00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:30,299
Delight them!
Get in there!
72
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,632
Hey.
73
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,966
God, managing the help
is so exhausting.
74
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,549
{\an8}Uhh, tell me about it.
75
00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:38,049
{\an8}I'm going on vacation next week,
and my packer's appendix burst.
76
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,882
{\an8}It's like,
"Do it on your own time."
77
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:41,882
Yeah.
So, Katie,
78
00:02:41,883 --> 00:02:43,466
tomorrow's the big night!
79
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,841
Are you ready?
- Yep.
80
00:02:44,842 --> 00:02:46,466
{\an8}I've got it all handled--
81
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,007
{\an8}the food, the music,
the flowers,
82
00:02:48,008 --> 00:02:50,591
{\an8}the magic, the mystery,
the dance.
83
00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:52,591
Do you know who else thought
she had everything handled?
84
00:02:52,592 --> 00:02:55,299
{\an8}Last year's Gala chairperson--
Stacy Clouser.
85
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,549
Where are all my shrimp?!
86
00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:00,174
I ordered 6,000 shrimp!
87
00:03:00,175 --> 00:03:01,424
Stacy, are you okay?
88
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:03,216
I'm fine. So fine.
89
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,382
They're probably just buried
under the ice.
90
00:03:05,383 --> 00:03:07,632
Ice.
No, no, no!
91
00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:10,007
Oh, my God!
This can't be happening!
92
00:03:10,008 --> 00:03:12,507
Which one of you shrimp-stealers
stole my shrimp?!
93
00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:14,049
Open your purses!
94
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,132
I said open them!
95
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,799
Well, you don't need
to worry about me.
96
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,924
My Gala is gonna
be amazing.
97
00:03:20,925 --> 00:03:23,382
I even got television's
Nathan Fillion
98
00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:26,174
riding in on an elephant,
surrounded by Bollywood dancers.
99
00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:30,382
But do you want to know what
the best part is going to be?
100
00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:33,007
Uh, it all falling apart
and you being shunned?
101
00:03:33,008 --> 00:03:35,757
Ooh! A shunning!
I do love a good shunning.
102
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,424
You know, public shamings
are more my thing,
103
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,424
but shunnings are nice.
104
00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,882
No.
105
00:03:39,883 --> 00:03:42,757
The best part is going to
be the look on your sad,
106
00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:45,217
gross faces when I Slumdog
this millionaire!
107
00:03:46,842 --> 00:03:48,174
That actually
didn't make sense.
108
00:03:48,175 --> 00:03:50,841
Oh, I am so proud
of you, Katie!
109
00:03:50,842 --> 00:03:52,716
I mean, honestly, I was
a little worried
110
00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:53,882
that maybe you took on
too much,
111
00:03:53,883 --> 00:03:56,716
but, ohh, you're gonna be
the toast of the town!
112
00:03:56,717 --> 00:03:58,132
Or just toast.
113
00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,924
Your Gala's gonna suck.
114
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,632
Just so you know,
this is why your husbands
115
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:04,799
don't have sex with you.
116
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,174
Huh.
117
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:09,841
Everything will be set up
tomorrow morning--
118
00:04:09,842 --> 00:04:12,091
the tables,
the stage goes over there,
119
00:04:12,092 --> 00:04:13,591
the champagne fountain
goes there,
120
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,382
and this is where I stand,
121
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:17,674
receiving praise
from all the other housewives.
122
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,757
I plan on saying
"Suck it!" a lot.
123
00:04:19,758 --> 00:04:21,674
I will not be gracious.
124
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,674
Well, are you sure
Nathan Fillion is gonna show?
125
00:04:23,675 --> 00:04:25,341
Because those "suck its"
aren't gonna land
126
00:04:25,342 --> 00:04:27,341
unless you have him
riding in on an elephant.
127
00:04:27,342 --> 00:04:29,299
Yes.
He gave me his word.
128
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,966
And, more importantly,
there was a sign.
129
00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:32,549
He opened a box
of animal crackers,
130
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:33,424
and it was
all elephants.
131
00:04:33,425 --> 00:04:34,424
That doesn't just happen.
132
00:04:34,425 --> 00:04:36,049
Yes, it does,
because it did.
133
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:37,091
And he's as bonkers
as you are.
134
00:04:39,717 --> 00:04:40,841
Hello?
135
00:04:40,842 --> 00:04:42,049
Beware.
136
00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,507
They're out to get you.
137
00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:45,091
Who's this?
138
00:04:45,092 --> 00:04:48,757
My name is Stacy Clouser.
139
00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:50,299
They're out to get you.
140
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,341
Who's out to get me?
141
00:04:52,342 --> 00:04:54,341
Them.
142
00:04:54,342 --> 00:04:56,049
Hello?
143
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,799
That was Stacy Clouser.
She said they're out to get me.
144
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,299
It could be a sign--
a bad sign.
145
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,924
Can phone calls be signs?
146
00:05:05,925 --> 00:05:07,132
Of course they can.
147
00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:09,132
Doris, I know it's you.
148
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,466
Just answer it.
149
00:05:10,467 --> 00:05:11,716
No. You're just gonna
make fun of me.
150
00:05:11,717 --> 00:05:13,507
Come on.
It could be important.
151
00:05:13,508 --> 00:05:15,716
Hi, Angela. It's Doris.
152
00:05:15,717 --> 00:05:17,591
You're a nutjob!
153
00:05:17,592 --> 00:05:18,882
Bye!
154
00:05:20,008 --> 00:05:21,049
You got a message.
You should check it.
155
00:05:24,008 --> 00:05:25,591
Hans Gruber looks happy.
156
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,924
I wonder if he can talk to the
other animals, like in "Babe."
157
00:05:28,925 --> 00:05:31,132
What am I saying?
Of course he can!
158
00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:32,841
Professor Otto!
159
00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:34,091
Grant,
what are you doing here?
160
00:05:34,092 --> 00:05:35,257
You're supposed to be
at the university.
161
00:05:35,258 --> 00:05:37,174
I'm your assistant.
I'm here to assist.
162
00:05:37,175 --> 00:05:38,466
How did you even find me?
163
00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:40,507
I placed a Tile device
in your wallet.
164
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,966
I need to know
where you are.
165
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,674
That is very unsettling.
166
00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:44,883
That doesn't sound like
a "stop it"!
167
00:05:46,175 --> 00:05:48,299
Oh!
Hey, look, a camel!
168
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,299
My dad had a pet camel
when I was growing up in India.
169
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:53,924
You remind me
of sweet Pepito.
170
00:05:53,925 --> 00:05:56,549
Dad, can we have
a pet camel?
171
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:58,466
No. I'm sure he came to
the animal sanctuary
172
00:05:58,467 --> 00:05:59,841
because he's not
supposed to be a pet.
173
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:01,674
Just like Hans Gruber's
not supposed to be a pet.
174
00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:04,882
I understand.
It's not like a dog.
175
00:06:04,883 --> 00:06:06,549
That's right. A dog is
a whole different story.
176
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:07,882
Look, a dog!
177
00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:13,549
Can we have him?
178
00:06:13,550 --> 00:06:15,382
A golden retriever
is a pet!
179
00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:17,966
Come on, Dad. We could use
a smart blonde in the family.
180
00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:19,924
No. We cannot
bring home a dog.
181
00:06:19,925 --> 00:06:21,924
It's not even ours.
Who says it's even a rescue?
182
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:25,424
I do. You want the dog?
His name is Luthor.
183
00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:26,299
Please!
Please!
Please!
184
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,174
Please!
185
00:06:28,175 --> 00:06:30,674
You're wasting your breath.
No dog.
186
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:33,424
I already
love him so much!
187
00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,674
That's Mom's car.
188
00:06:36,675 --> 00:06:38,216
We got to keep Luthor
out of sight
189
00:06:38,217 --> 00:06:40,507
until we make sure she's in
a dog-receptive state of mind.
190
00:06:40,508 --> 00:06:42,257
Fun Dad is no match
for Mad Mom.
191
00:06:42,258 --> 00:06:43,383
Come on.
192
00:06:46,675 --> 00:06:49,674
Tomorrow night calls for clear
skies and multiple "suck its."
193
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,466
Great.
194
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:52,924
Seems like you could take on
anything right now.
195
00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:55,091
Yeah. I'm crushing it
as Gala chair.
196
00:06:57,342 --> 00:06:59,342
Principal Ablin, holla!
197
00:07:02,925 --> 00:07:05,341
Come on. She's in a perfect
dog mood. She said "holla."
198
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:09,132
What?! Who says I can't use an
elephant for domestic purposes?
199
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:13,132
Well, who the hell told PETA
about it?
200
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,632
The Gala is tomorrow, and you're
telling me I have no elephant?!
201
00:07:16,633 --> 00:07:17,632
Mood has shifted.
Mood has shifted.
202
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,966
Come on.
203
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,924
It's a Bollywood event,
and I lost my elephant.
204
00:07:33,925 --> 00:07:36,216
The only reason Nathan
agreed to do this
205
00:07:36,217 --> 00:07:38,091
was because elephants
were a sign.
206
00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:40,174
All right, calm down.
We'll figure it out.
207
00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:42,216
I'm sure there are other things
in India that people ride--
208
00:07:42,217 --> 00:07:43,674
camels, for instance.
209
00:07:43,675 --> 00:07:46,007
Camels weren't a part
of the sign, Greg.
210
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,549
Maybe he did have a sign
with camels. You don't know.
211
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,674
The Gala is
tomorrow night.
212
00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:50,299
Where in the world
would I get a camel?
213
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,424
I can get you a camel.
214
00:07:51,425 --> 00:07:53,674
You?
You can get a camel?
215
00:07:53,675 --> 00:07:55,924
I have some mysteries
up my sleeve.
216
00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:57,799
You think you know everything
about me, but--
217
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,633
Is it the farm where we
dropped off Hans Gruber?
218
00:08:01,425 --> 00:08:02,341
Yes.
219
00:08:04,883 --> 00:08:06,007
Hey, Nathan!
220
00:08:06,008 --> 00:08:07,299
Hey, Katie.
221
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,757
I'm getting fitted
for my kurta right now.
222
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:11,924
Looking good!
So, I had a thought.
223
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,216
Instead of an elephant, which is
always rampaging and stuff,
224
00:08:15,217 --> 00:08:18,424
how about a nice, reliable,
friendly camel?
225
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:19,966
Stop pinning.
226
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,632
The sign was elephants.
227
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:23,466
I mean, Katie,
I'm not stupid.
228
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,257
The only reason I'm doing this
229
00:08:25,258 --> 00:08:26,799
is because the box of cookies
told me to do it.
230
00:08:30,633 --> 00:08:31,592
Oh, my God. That's it!
231
00:08:33,508 --> 00:08:35,716
No problem.
Elephant it is.
232
00:08:35,717 --> 00:08:37,632
Trunk, big ears,
the whole thing.
233
00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:39,674
Keep pinning!
234
00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:46,049
See? It's about a monkey
who wants to be a toucan,
235
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:48,674
so he made himself a colorful
beak and cut off his tail.
236
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:50,049
I think
it's supposed to be
237
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,549
about accepting people
who are transitioning.
238
00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:55,132
I don't know what Chloe's told
you, but I was born a woman.
239
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:56,674
That's not it.
240
00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:59,257
I called you over because I know
how good you are with crafts.
241
00:08:59,258 --> 00:09:04,174
So, could you make me a trunk
and ears that fits on a camel
242
00:09:04,175 --> 00:09:05,966
so it looks like
an elephant?
243
00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:08,507
I could, but Chloe
would be so mad
244
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,132
if she found out
I helped you.
245
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,716
Mm.
I'm in.
246
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,674
And make sure to tell her
it was me.
247
00:09:13,675 --> 00:09:15,632
Actually, don't.
She scares me.
248
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:17,174
I was brave for a second.
249
00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:23,132
Oh. Hi, Katie!
250
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:25,299
We were just talking
about you behind your back.
251
00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:28,549
I wasn't.
252
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:30,882
Well, sometimes
I nod along,
253
00:09:30,883 --> 00:09:32,424
but otherwise, no one
would hang out with me.
254
00:09:32,425 --> 00:09:33,674
It's okay, Suzanne.
255
00:09:33,675 --> 00:09:36,924
I know you have
a good heart...
256
00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:38,591
unlike you three
257
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,174
That's the worst possible word
you could use!
258
00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:43,424
Well, now,
it's my favorite word.
259
00:09:43,425 --> 00:09:44,632
Katie, why are you
even here?
260
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,257
To let you know
your little plan to call PETA
261
00:09:47,258 --> 00:09:51,216
to screw up Castle riding in
on an elephant isn't gonna work.
262
00:09:51,217 --> 00:09:52,382
Anyone know what
she's talking about?
263
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,799
No clue.
264
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,007
I'm still processing
what she called us.
265
00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:56,007
I mean, there's a line.
266
00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:57,132
Oh, save it.
267
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:59,174
I know one of you
is "them."
268
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:00,799
Guys, check it out.
269
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,091
She's starting to go
full-on Stacy Clouser.
270
00:10:03,092 --> 00:10:05,049
She's Clousin' out!
271
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:06,424
One ticket to Clouse town!
272
00:10:06,425 --> 00:10:08,049
Send in the Clouse!
273
00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:09,049
Clousin' time!
274
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,049
No, Nancy. No.
275
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:12,382
I am not Stacy Clouser!
276
00:10:12,383 --> 00:10:14,049
I am Katie Otto,
277
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,507
and you might as well
give it up,
278
00:10:15,508 --> 00:10:17,507
because my Gala
is gonna rule.
279
00:10:18,508 --> 00:10:19,632
So long
280
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,216
I worked all night on this
so you'd have it in time
281
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:29,674
for the Gala
this evening.
282
00:10:29,675 --> 00:10:31,716
Burned myself a few times
with the hot-glue gun.
283
00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,466
It was nice
to feel something.
284
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,757
Maria!
This is amazing!
285
00:10:35,758 --> 00:10:37,091
You're right.
I never should have bothered.
286
00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:38,716
No! I love it!
287
00:10:38,717 --> 00:10:40,133
Exactly. I do suck.
288
00:10:42,092 --> 00:10:43,924
You really think
Nathan Fillion will go for it?
289
00:10:43,925 --> 00:10:45,591
I mean, he is gonna notice
it's a dressed-up camel.
290
00:10:45,592 --> 00:10:47,632
Greg, he played
a detective on TV.
291
00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:48,882
He's not one in real life.
292
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,424
So,
you're in a good place?
293
00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:51,674
Yeah.
294
00:10:51,675 --> 00:10:52,716
Great.
I'm gonna go get the kids.
295
00:10:52,717 --> 00:10:53,716
- Why?
- You'll see.
296
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:58,507
Hey, Doris. What's happening
at the Carson House?
297
00:10:58,508 --> 00:11:01,507
There is nothing happening.
Nothing's been set up.
298
00:11:01,508 --> 00:11:03,966
Nothing has even
been delivered!
299
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,674
What are you
talking about?
300
00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:08,174
Everything was supposed to be
dropped off this morning.
301
00:11:08,175 --> 00:11:11,299
I know. That's why I called
your vendors and the caterers,
302
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,841
and everyone said you canceled
everything last week.
303
00:11:13,842 --> 00:11:15,592
But I didn't
cancel anything.
304
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:19,632
Those dirty, little...
305
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,049
Katie,
I know you're upset,
306
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:22,757
but it's never okay
to use that word.
307
00:11:22,758 --> 00:11:24,882
Mood has shifted.
Mood has shifted. Go!
308
00:11:37,383 --> 00:11:39,757
They did it, Greg.
They beat me.
309
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,716
They canceled my caterer,
the dancers,
310
00:11:41,717 --> 00:11:43,549
my champagne fountain, everything.
311
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,341
People are going to
show up,
312
00:11:45,342 --> 00:11:48,466
and there's literally
going to be nothing there.
313
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:51,424
The Gala's ruined.
So am I.
314
00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:53,632
I'm done in this town.
315
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:55,382
And we're gonna have to
move out of Westport.
316
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:56,424
We won't have to move.
317
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,882
You're right.
It's my shame.
318
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,799
You and the kids stay.
I'll go to Mexico with Enrique.
319
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,841
Hey!
Pull it together!
320
00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:03,299
You are Katie Otto.
321
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,466
You have stood up for the
downtrodden, the poorly dressed,
322
00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,507
the larger gals,
the people who don't believe
323
00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:08,882
opening a bag of peanuts
on an airplane
324
00:12:08,883 --> 00:12:11,091
can really get someone sick
10 rows away.
325
00:12:11,092 --> 00:12:12,549
How did this happen?!
326
00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:14,716
The woman who criticized all
the busybodies in this town--
327
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:17,507
with their hysterics
and their events
328
00:12:17,508 --> 00:12:19,049
and their wastes
of feminine energy--
329
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:20,841
is defeated, curled up
330
00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,507
because she can't get
her champagne fountain!
331
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,757
Why are you
yelling at me?
332
00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:25,174
Because you're trying
to throw this Gala
333
00:12:25,175 --> 00:12:27,757
the Westport housewife way,
not the Katie Otto way.
334
00:12:27,758 --> 00:12:30,174
My Katie Otto
would never let those bitches
335
00:12:30,175 --> 00:12:31,382
get the better of her.
336
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,382
That's right.
I threw down the B-word.
337
00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:35,007
This isn't the woman
I married.
338
00:12:35,008 --> 00:12:36,924
The woman I married
wouldn't give up.
339
00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:37,924
You know what she
would do?
340
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,132
What would she do?
341
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,632
She would get off that couch
and figure out a way
342
00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,799
to throw the Gala her way,
not their way.
343
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,799
But how am I going to
put together an entire
Gala in eight hours?
344
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,382
- With me.
- With us.
345
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:49,466
We've got your back.
346
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:50,925
Ottos never quit!
347
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,216
I threw Karen Nelson's
hysterectomy party together
348
00:13:00,217 --> 00:13:02,216
in minutes-- 150 guests.
349
00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:05,007
I made that papier-mâché
"Adios to your uterus" piñata
350
00:13:05,008 --> 00:13:06,507
moments before
the guests arrived.
351
00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:07,507
That's right, you did.
352
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:08,549
I can do this!
353
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,341
Damn straight you can!
354
00:13:10,342 --> 00:13:11,466
So, you're in a
good place?
355
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:13,508
Yeah. I'm in
a great place.
356
00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:16,091
Good,
'cause we got a dog.
357
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:24,132
Okay, people, we've got five
hours to transform this place
358
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:25,424
into a Bollywood
extravaganza.
359
00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:26,924
Doris, I need you to go
to the outlet store
360
00:13:26,925 --> 00:13:28,924
and get as many candles,
rugs, and throw pillows
361
00:13:28,925 --> 00:13:31,299
as you can.
- Outlet store?!
362
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:32,757
Fine. I'll do it
because we're friends.
363
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:34,424
But I am paying
full price!
364
00:13:34,425 --> 00:13:35,882
We need decorations
that are on-theme.
365
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,591
Angela, can we borrow
some of the Buddhist stuff
366
00:13:37,592 --> 00:13:38,632
that you have
at your house?
367
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,757
Greg, you and
the recycling committee,
368
00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:42,216
go pick up the Buddha,
string lights,
369
00:13:42,217 --> 00:13:44,007
and then get started
cleaning out the trash cans
370
00:13:44,008 --> 00:13:45,091
for the trash-can punch.
371
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,674
Okay, we need dancers.
372
00:13:46,675 --> 00:13:47,966
I'll ask my ballet class
to help.
373
00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:49,299
Great!
Okay, let me see what else.
374
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,049
Uh, I don't know, Mom.
Food?
375
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,757
Right.
Forgot about that.
376
00:13:52,758 --> 00:13:54,591
Does anyone know where
we could get Indian food
377
00:13:54,592 --> 00:13:56,507
for 200 people
by 4:00 today?
378
00:13:56,508 --> 00:13:58,216
I have an idea!
379
00:13:58,217 --> 00:14:00,216
Grant! I took the Tile
out of my wallet.
380
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,341
How did you find me?
381
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,632
I followed you home
from the farm,
382
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,382
broke into your car,
and hid in your trunk--
383
00:14:04,383 --> 00:14:05,632
like any good assistant
would.
384
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,049
Let's blow past
how creepy that was
385
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,507
and focus on how you
can help me.
386
00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:10,507
My uncle owns an Indian
food-truck business.
387
00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:11,924
I can ask
if he knows someone.
388
00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:13,132
How about your uncle?
389
00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,466
Oh, yeah!
I can make that happen!
390
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,007
Grant, I love you!
391
00:14:16,008 --> 00:14:17,466
And I love your husband!
392
00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:19,507
What do you say, people?!
Let's do this thing!
393
00:14:19,508 --> 00:14:20,507
- All right!
- Yeah!
394
00:14:20,508 --> 00:14:21,591
- Come on, guys.
- Whoo!
395
00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:24,549
Oh... my God, Katie.
396
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,257
Last year, it was just
the shrimp that ran out,
397
00:14:26,258 --> 00:14:27,966
but you don't
have anything.
398
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,799
The Gala is
five hours away,
399
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,549
and you have nothing
but an empty tent.
400
00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:33,799
I'm gonna be
the first one here
401
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,216
so I can watch you
crash and burn.
402
00:14:36,217 --> 00:14:38,757
So you just happened
to be strolling by
403
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:41,966
moments after the Gala
fell apart?
404
00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:46,217
Stupid Tara-- unlike your
husband, I'm all over you.
405
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,716
Stacy?
It's Katie Otto.
406
00:14:54,717 --> 00:14:56,841
I'm calling to tell you
that you were right.
407
00:14:56,842 --> 00:14:59,341
Someone is messing
with my Gala,
408
00:14:59,342 --> 00:15:01,091
and they messed
with yours, too.
409
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:02,341
I knew it!
410
00:15:02,342 --> 00:15:04,466
Someone canceled
your shrimp order.
411
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:06,674
Ugh!
Damn right they did!
412
00:15:06,675 --> 00:15:08,924
Not "they." She.
413
00:15:08,925 --> 00:15:10,132
Tara Summers.
414
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:11,966
Tara Summers?
415
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,924
Tara Summers!
416
00:15:13,925 --> 00:15:15,257
Which one is
Tara Summers?
417
00:15:15,258 --> 00:15:16,966
Blonde-ish.
Smells like tofu.
418
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,258
Tara Summers!
419
00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:22,424
You see, Marmalade?
420
00:15:22,425 --> 00:15:24,257
I am not crazy.
421
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:26,007
Okay, guys, in the tent
by the table.
422
00:15:29,092 --> 00:15:31,341
Come on, just like Rajnee
showed us on YouTube.
423
00:15:31,342 --> 00:15:34,549
Screw in the light bulb.
424
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,716
I said just a splash, Maria!
Ugh!
425
00:15:52,717 --> 00:15:54,507
Those tulips aren't you
and your gal pals
426
00:15:54,508 --> 00:15:56,174
at Bennigan's for happy hour!
427
00:15:56,175 --> 00:15:58,382
Nailed it!
428
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:10,174
Now, pet the dog.
429
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:11,549
Pet the dog.
430
00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:21,257
Oh, my God.
This is so good.
431
00:16:21,258 --> 00:16:24,382
Mmm! I know.
Ooh!
432
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,882
I'm gonna get all
"lose my shoes, tell my
kids I love 'em" drunk.
433
00:16:31,008 --> 00:16:32,216
Hey!
434
00:16:39,508 --> 00:16:40,507
Thank you!
435
00:16:40,508 --> 00:16:41,507
I love your husband.
436
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:42,882
I know.
437
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:49,132
I was wracked with dysentery
the whole time,
438
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,882
but bright side--
I got down to my Speedo weight.
439
00:16:52,883 --> 00:16:54,132
Oh.
440
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:55,507
This is so good.
441
00:16:55,508 --> 00:16:58,257
From now on, I'm only drinking
out of garbage cans.
442
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:01,132
I can't believe
this all came together.
443
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,091
Mm-hmm.
I am so proud of you.
444
00:17:03,092 --> 00:17:04,841
You know, one thing I will
give to you poors--
445
00:17:04,842 --> 00:17:06,632
you are resourceful.
446
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:09,841
Well, stupid,
stupid Tara,
447
00:17:09,842 --> 00:17:13,132
even with you doing all that you
could do to sabotage my Gala,
448
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,466
I still pulled it off.
449
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,424
Katie, I honestly have no idea
what you're talking--
450
00:17:20,175 --> 00:17:22,132
I knew I ordered
enough shrimp!
451
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:24,007
Get--
452
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:25,882
Get her off me!
453
00:17:25,883 --> 00:17:27,424
You ruined my life!
454
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:29,091
Everyone thought
I was crazy!
455
00:17:29,092 --> 00:17:31,549
Well, I'm not crazy!
456
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,799
You did this to me!
457
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,716
Help me! Help me!
458
00:17:35,717 --> 00:17:36,508
Let 'em go.
459
00:17:38,175 --> 00:17:41,424
Katie, I hate to admit it,
but this Gala is amazing.
460
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:43,674
I mean, best ever.
461
00:17:43,675 --> 00:17:45,132
Thank you so much.
462
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:48,132
And, ladies, I mean this
from the bottom of my heart...
463
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:48,966
Aww.
464
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,092
Suck it!
465
00:17:55,925 --> 00:17:58,716
Clouser's back!
466
00:17:58,717 --> 00:18:01,132
She is the best!
I've always liked her.
467
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:02,799
It wasn't me!
468
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,007
Yeah, right.
469
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,924
If it wasn't you,
then who?
470
00:18:05,925 --> 00:18:07,632
I don't know.
471
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:10,674
Why do I sabotage
the Gala every year?
472
00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,632
Is it because chaos
turns me on?
473
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,466
Or maybe these Mexican diet
pills are making me psychotic.
474
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:16,882
Katie!
475
00:18:16,883 --> 00:18:19,382
This punch
is so yummy!
476
00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,467
Suzanne,
you're the best.
477
00:18:44,508 --> 00:18:47,341
Oh, my gosh.
It really is Nathan Fillion.
478
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:51,299
And he's riding on a--
What the hell is that?
479
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,924
I'm at a Gala in Westport
riding a camel
480
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:57,132
disguised as an elephant,
and I've never felt more alive!
481
00:18:58,925 --> 00:19:00,716
How did you know he'd go for
the camel-elephant?
482
00:19:00,717 --> 00:19:02,382
Well, Anna-Kat and I prepared
him a little snack
483
00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:03,924
when he stopped by
before the Gala.
484
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,842
Elephant.
485
00:19:08,050 --> 00:19:10,007
Camel.
486
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:12,966
It's all elephants
and camels.
487
00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:15,216
It's another sign.
488
00:19:15,217 --> 00:19:16,800
Cookies,
you've done it again.
489
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,383
You did it.
490
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,549
I did do it.
491
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,674
I thought you'd say,
"We did it," but all right.
492
00:19:26,675 --> 00:19:29,382
How about this--
I did it,
493
00:19:29,383 --> 00:19:31,216
but I couldn't have done it
without you.
494
00:19:31,217 --> 00:19:33,216
Better.
495
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:20,882
- A-mark.
- Oh, my God!
496
00:20:20,883 --> 00:20:22,924
I feel like my eyes
are dry-heaving!
497
00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:25,382
What? We're just showing
that we like each other.
498
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:29,132
Yeah.
D really laid it on me!
499
00:20:31,508 --> 00:20:32,924
I couldn't breathe!
500
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,757
All right, I don't use it
very much,
501
00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:37,716
but I'm kind of
fond of it, so...
502
00:20:37,717 --> 00:20:38,966
there we go.
503
00:20:44,383 --> 00:20:46,174
Action.
504
00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:47,466
Mama, Daddy, guess--
505
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,425
{\an8}Ha, ha!
Yes, that was wrong.
506
00:20:53,175 --> 00:20:54,716
{\an8}Oh!
You all right?
507
00:20:54,717 --> 00:20:57,049
{\an8}Back in my day,
if you wanted to cheat,
508
00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:59,632
{\an8}you'd just write the formula
on your upper thigh.
509
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,257
{\an8}Did I get it?
510
00:21:01,258 --> 00:21:03,716
{\an8}Great. But then I just stopped
and I ruined it, so...
511
00:21:03,717 --> 00:21:05,674
{\an8}That's awesome!
512
00:21:05,675 --> 00:21:09,507
{\an8}At somebody's convenience,
may I get some Tums?
513
00:21:09,508 --> 00:21:12,132
{\an8}I had a doughnut and bacon,
and I'm regretting every choice.
514
00:21:13,842 --> 00:21:16,007
{\an8}- Was that it?
- Yes. Lovely. Do it again.
515
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,092
{\an8}Love.
37559
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof