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1
00:00:00,222 --> 00:00:01,642
Who's up
for Chinese checkers?
2
00:00:01,643 --> 00:00:03,268
Oh, half the marbles
are missing.
3
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,183
Everyone, spread out
and find a suitable replacement
4
00:00:05,184 --> 00:00:06,558
for the red
and white ones.
5
00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:08,724
And a suitable replacement
for a pet in this house.
6
00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:11,475
Something snobby and purebred,
with lots of health issues
7
00:00:11,476 --> 00:00:13,680
so it dies
before I get bored with it.
8
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:18,470
You hurt his feelings!
9
00:00:18,471 --> 00:00:20,095
Don't you have a heart?
10
00:00:20,096 --> 00:00:22,637
He does, and it's just covered
under layers of snark.
11
00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:26,137
Taylor, it's game night.
Do you want to join us?
12
00:00:26,138 --> 00:00:27,887
Don't be ridiculous.
13
00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:29,762
I'm going downtown
with my friends.
14
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,221
Have fun with
your little games.
15
00:00:34,012 --> 00:00:36,429
I do not like what our nice,
fun-loving Taylor has become
16
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,594
since she started hanging out
with these popular girls.
17
00:00:38,595 --> 00:00:40,387
This is the way
she walks around school
18
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:41,720
with her stuck-up
friends...
19
00:00:43,637 --> 00:00:44,594
Excellent
pantomime work.
20
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:45,594
Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:51,220
Spencer!
22
00:00:51,221 --> 00:00:52,969
I've got big news!
23
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,511
Wait for it.
24
00:00:56,512 --> 00:00:58,469
Ta-da!
25
00:00:58,470 --> 00:01:01,220
Please tell me this has
nothing to do with Viagra.
26
00:01:01,221 --> 00:01:05,803
No, my house-arrest ankle
bracelet isn't beeping anymore.
27
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,594
That's because
I don't have one.
28
00:01:07,595 --> 00:01:08,844
I'm a free man!
29
00:01:08,845 --> 00:01:10,345
Congratulations!
30
00:01:10,346 --> 00:01:11,844
Tomorrow we golf.
You got clubs?
31
00:01:11,845 --> 00:01:13,345
No.
32
00:01:13,346 --> 00:01:15,095
I'm buying you clubs.
Can I buy him clubs?
33
00:01:15,096 --> 00:01:16,969
- Um--
- I'm buying you clubs!
34
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:19,928
You know, you got
a good kid here.
35
00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:21,803
A true friend,
which is hard to find.
36
00:01:21,804 --> 00:01:23,886
Because when you're rich,
37
00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:26,262
people are always trying
to get close to you.
38
00:01:26,263 --> 00:01:29,054
Biggie called it--
mo money, mo problems.
39
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,553
Oliver, be ready.
40
00:01:30,554 --> 00:01:33,054
I got us a tee time--
9:00 a.m., Longshore.
41
00:01:33,055 --> 00:01:35,054
You got golf shoes?
- No.
42
00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:36,553
I'm buying you golf shoes.
43
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:37,970
I'm buying him golf shoes!
44
00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:39,761
Ha-ha!
45
00:01:39,762 --> 00:01:41,594
You hear what he said?
46
00:01:41,595 --> 00:01:43,387
I'm a good kid.
47
00:01:43,388 --> 00:01:45,013
Yeah, I'm not buyin' it.
48
00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:53,928
{\an8}Hey, Taylor.
You're home early.
49
00:01:53,929 --> 00:01:56,220
{\an8}- Enh.
- Something wrong?
50
00:01:56,221 --> 00:01:58,345
{\an8}No! Why does something
always have to be wrong?
51
00:01:58,346 --> 00:02:00,012
{\an8}And why are you guys always
in my business?
52
00:02:00,013 --> 00:02:01,386
{\an8}I just want to be
left alone!
53
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,761
{\an8}God!!
54
00:02:04,637 --> 00:02:06,095
{\an8}Such a fun age.
55
00:02:06,096 --> 00:02:07,594
{\an8}Come on,
let's go talk to her.
56
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,928
{\an8}She said she wants
to be left alone.
57
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,761
{\an8}I want to be left alone
all the time, Greg,
58
00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:11,929
{\an8}but nobody listens to me.
59
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,719
{\an8}So, what's going on?
60
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,678
{\an8}Everything is fine.
61
00:02:20,679 --> 00:02:21,761
{\an8}It's perfect.
62
00:02:21,762 --> 00:02:23,469
{\an8}I love my life, okay?
63
00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,428
{\an8}The only reason why I'm getting
misty right now
64
00:02:25,429 --> 00:02:27,386
{\an8}is because I look at my life
and I think,
65
00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,469
{\an8}"Wow, it's so beautiful!"
Now get out!
66
00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:31,469
{\an8}Something
is obviously wrong.
67
00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:34,095
{\an8}And we're not leaving until
we find out what it is.
68
00:02:34,096 --> 00:02:35,594
{\an8}You won't understand!
69
00:02:35,595 --> 00:02:36,595
{\an8}- Try us.
- Mm-hmm.
70
00:02:38,595 --> 00:02:41,095
{\an8}We were at Tom Garrity's house
just hanging out,
71
00:02:41,096 --> 00:02:43,137
{\an8}and I went to talk to Summit,
Zola, and Londyn,
72
00:02:43,138 --> 00:02:44,970
{\an8}but they kept ignoring me
and walked away.
73
00:02:44,971 --> 00:02:47,220
{\an8}So I followed them and I tried
talking to them again,
74
00:02:47,221 --> 00:02:48,803
{\an8}but they just kept ditching me.
75
00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:50,428
{\an8}And then when I asked them why,
76
00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:52,844
{\an8}Summit said they're reevaluating
their friend group.
77
00:02:52,845 --> 00:02:54,054
{\an8}What does that
even mean?
78
00:02:54,055 --> 00:02:55,428
{\an8}She's right,
I don't understand.
79
00:02:55,429 --> 00:02:56,761
{\an8}It means I'm out.
80
00:02:56,762 --> 00:02:58,262
{\an8}I left my old friends
to be with my new friends,
81
00:02:58,263 --> 00:02:59,719
{\an8}and now my new friends
don't want me.
82
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,761
{\an8}I have no one.
83
00:03:00,762 --> 00:03:02,428
{\an8}- You always have us.
- Oh, Greg.
84
00:03:02,429 --> 00:03:04,179
{\an8}Is that what you think of me?
85
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:07,012
{\an8}That I'm just some loser whose
only friends are her parents?
86
00:03:07,013 --> 00:03:08,636
{\an8}- No, I--
- Taylor, I understand.
87
00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,095
{\an8}Don't even!
88
00:03:10,096 --> 00:03:12,262
{\an8}Maybe in the 1900s something
like this happened to you.
89
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:13,636
{\an8}But it's different now.
90
00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:15,137
{\an8}You don't know what
I'm going through
91
00:03:15,138 --> 00:03:16,679
{\an8}and don't say you do
because you don't!
92
00:03:19,138 --> 00:03:20,469
She stormed out
of her own room.
93
00:03:20,470 --> 00:03:21,844
I wonder when
she's gonna realize--
94
00:03:21,845 --> 00:03:23,096
Get out!
95
00:03:24,679 --> 00:03:26,719
Reevaluate their friend group?
96
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,344
Hans Gruber,
how'd you get up there?
97
00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:32,469
Greg, there's something I really
need you to understand--
98
00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:34,386
from now on,
that one's your pillow.
99
00:03:34,387 --> 00:03:35,469
I'll get him down.
100
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:37,137
And then you'll change
the sheets.
101
00:03:37,138 --> 00:03:38,428
- Yes.
- Like, really change them.
102
00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,553
Actually get the elastic
under the mattress
103
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,678
so it doesn't slip out
104
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,553
and I dream I'm caught
in a fishing net.
105
00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:45,137
I got it.
106
00:03:45,138 --> 00:03:46,719
Hans Gruber, get down.
107
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,262
Get down. Come on.
108
00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:50,970
Come on. Good boy.
Good boy.
109
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,803
Gruber.
Gruber, get down.
110
00:03:54,804 --> 00:03:56,137
Come on, come on.
111
00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:57,469
Come on.
112
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,012
- Mnh-mnh.
- Come on.
113
00:03:59,013 --> 00:04:01,137
Come down.
114
00:04:01,138 --> 00:04:03,553
Yeah, Greg, that's why
the 400-pound farm animal
115
00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:05,636
won't get off our comforter--
Enunciation.
116
00:04:07,055 --> 00:04:08,386
That pig has got to go.
117
00:04:08,387 --> 00:04:11,054
I know! But what do I do?
I can't sell him for meat.
118
00:04:11,055 --> 00:04:12,719
Anna-Kat considers him
family.
119
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,428
I give to this charity
that lets animals
120
00:04:14,429 --> 00:04:16,636
safely live out the rest
of their lives on a farm.
121
00:04:16,637 --> 00:04:18,012
You could
bring him there.
122
00:04:18,013 --> 00:04:20,095
Is that one of your
"date a woman, dump her,
123
00:04:20,096 --> 00:04:21,261
but then support
her charities
124
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,678
so you don't seem like a
monster" deals?
125
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,261
Yes. But if they don't have
a charity,
126
00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:25,845
then they get a Jo Malone
candle.
127
00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:27,179
The big one
with the three wicks.
128
00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:29,428
The farm sounds perfect.
129
00:04:29,429 --> 00:04:31,303
Now I just have to convince
Anna-Kat and Greg.
130
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,386
Just sneak it out
in the middle of the night.
131
00:04:33,387 --> 00:04:35,303
That's what I did with
Richard's mom when I moved her
132
00:04:35,304 --> 00:04:37,220
out of the guest room
into a retirement home.
133
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:38,719
She bit me,
but it was worth it.
134
00:04:43,429 --> 00:04:47,137
That's them.
The Blondetourage.
135
00:04:47,138 --> 00:04:49,469
The girls who kicked
Taylor to the curb?
Mm-hmm.
136
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,845
If you squint, you can almost
see them doing porn in 10 years.
137
00:04:52,846 --> 00:04:54,344
I'm just gonna go say hi.
138
00:04:54,345 --> 00:04:56,344
Uh, you're just gonna go
make things worse.
139
00:04:56,345 --> 00:04:58,095
- Or better!
- But probably worse!
140
00:04:58,096 --> 00:04:59,138
Maybe better!
141
00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:03,636
- Girls.
- Hi, Mrs. Otto.
142
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,386
No. We're not doing that.
This isn't a pleasant meeting.
143
00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:07,719
- I'll have--
- She'll have nothing!
144
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,137
What's your deal?
145
00:05:09,138 --> 00:05:13,054
My deal is that you blew off
Taylor for no reason.
146
00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:16,303
Well, let me
tell you something.
147
00:05:16,304 --> 00:05:18,762
I know you think
you're all that and--
148
00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:20,054
Wait, wait. All what?
149
00:05:20,055 --> 00:05:23,095
- All that.
- What's that mean?
150
00:05:23,096 --> 00:05:24,344
It's a saying.
151
00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:26,219
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
152
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:27,929
It's short for
"all that and a bag of chips."
153
00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,804
Chips are terrible
for you.
154
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,804
Yeah, even the healthy kind are
like a bazillion calories.
155
00:05:32,805 --> 00:05:34,261
Totally.
Like, one bag--
156
00:05:34,262 --> 00:05:37,594
Guys. We are not talking
about bags of chips.
157
00:05:37,595 --> 00:05:40,805
We are talking about what bags
of garbage you are.
158
00:05:41,846 --> 00:05:43,887
Incredible transition.
159
00:05:43,888 --> 00:05:47,303
Personally, for me, I'm glad you
blew off my daughter
160
00:05:47,304 --> 00:05:50,012
because I don't want her ending
up like you.
161
00:05:50,013 --> 00:05:53,386
Pretty on the outside
but rotten on the inside.
162
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,594
And eventually, that rottenness
will come to the surface
163
00:05:56,595 --> 00:05:58,636
and no amount of concealer
will hide
164
00:05:58,637 --> 00:06:01,095
what dried-out old hags
you become.
165
00:06:01,096 --> 00:06:03,303
And when you look
at your shriveled reflections
166
00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:04,888
in the mirror,
remember, I called it.
167
00:06:08,262 --> 00:06:09,469
How'd that go?
168
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,178
I made it better.
169
00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:12,261
Or worse.
170
00:06:12,262 --> 00:06:14,345
- I made it worse.
- Yeah.
171
00:06:18,763 --> 00:06:20,012
Hans Gruber won't come down.
172
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,428
Is he sick or depressed
or something?
173
00:06:21,429 --> 00:06:23,386
Well...
174
00:06:23,387 --> 00:06:25,136
near as I can tell,
he's suffering from
175
00:06:25,137 --> 00:06:27,594
"I should be living on a farm,
but these stupid people
176
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,971
brought me into their house and
named me after a movie villain."
177
00:06:31,595 --> 00:06:33,929
That sounds like
a fairly judgy condition.
178
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:36,386
I think what Dr. Hatch
is trying to say is,
179
00:06:36,387 --> 00:06:38,470
Hans Gruber belongs on a farm
with other pigs.
180
00:06:40,096 --> 00:06:41,929
He's right. It's time.
181
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:44,720
Now, how do we get him
off the bed?
182
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:47,720
Stop feeding him.
When he's hungry,
he'll find his way down.
183
00:06:47,721 --> 00:06:50,845
You're giving away
Hans Gruber?
184
00:06:50,846 --> 00:06:52,929
I'm sorry, honey.
He belongs with his own kind.
185
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:54,386
I'm his own kind!
186
00:06:54,387 --> 00:06:56,553
Anna-Kat.
187
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:58,386
Okay, I'm off to see
some morons
188
00:06:58,387 --> 00:07:00,387
that have a llama
in their apartment.
189
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,553
Anna-Kat, Hans Gruber
has to go to a farm.
190
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,845
He's gotten too big.
191
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:08,637
You didn't send Mom to a farm
after she had Taylor!
192
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,720
What'd she say?
193
00:07:11,721 --> 00:07:14,553
She said she needs some time
to process things.
194
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:17,261
Did you hear from Oliver?
195
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,637
He texted me.
196
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,428
They landed safely in New York
and are grabbing a bite.
197
00:07:21,429 --> 00:07:23,303
I can't believe our son took
a helicopter to dinner
198
00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:25,219
with his 80-year-old
billionaire friend.
199
00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:27,303
There is so much bad
in that sentence,
200
00:07:27,304 --> 00:07:28,887
I am choosing
to block it out.
201
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:35,012
The vet was right.
202
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:37,888
Don't feed them, and eventually
they'll come down.
203
00:07:40,429 --> 00:07:41,637
What's up?
204
00:07:41,638 --> 00:07:43,136
Nothin'.
205
00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:44,344
You?
206
00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:45,804
Nothin'.
207
00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,094
Cool.
208
00:07:47,095 --> 00:07:48,971
Subzero over here.
209
00:07:56,262 --> 00:07:58,970
Do you think maybe
we could play a game?
210
00:07:58,971 --> 00:08:00,386
Stay calm, Katie.
211
00:08:00,387 --> 00:08:02,804
Don't look too eager
and scare her off.
212
00:08:02,805 --> 00:08:05,845
Give Greg
the "play it cool" look.
213
00:08:05,846 --> 00:08:08,929
He never understands
my looks.
214
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:11,887
I'm up for playing a game.
215
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,344
Just not
the mystery one.
216
00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:15,011
Mystery one?
217
00:08:15,012 --> 00:08:18,053
It's the one with the rope and
the candlestick and the clues.
218
00:08:18,054 --> 00:08:19,720
Yeah, with the clues.
What is that?
219
00:08:19,721 --> 00:08:22,011
- Uhh.
- It's on the tip of my tongue.
220
00:08:22,012 --> 00:08:24,136
- With the rooms.
- Yeah, with the clues.
221
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,012
It's Clue, guys.
The game is Clue.
222
00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:33,219
Look who's off the bed
and is hungry.
223
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:35,220
Oh, Anna-Kat, let me help you
with that.
224
00:08:37,846 --> 00:08:39,303
Now that Taylor's
been cast out,
225
00:08:39,304 --> 00:08:40,637
our sweet, fun-loving girl
is back.
226
00:08:40,638 --> 00:08:42,930
I know. Hopefully she'll be
alone and friendless forever.
227
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:49,762
Hey, Mrs. Otto.
228
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,303
Uhhh...
What are you doing here?
229
00:08:52,304 --> 00:08:54,219
Well, I-I thought about
what you said
230
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,929
about being rotten
on the inside,
231
00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:58,261
and I want to make up
with Taylor.
232
00:08:58,262 --> 00:08:59,762
That's very nice of you,
233
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:02,261
but she already has
a new group of friends.
234
00:09:02,262 --> 00:09:03,554
Who?
235
00:09:03,555 --> 00:09:08,554
Uh, Brenda, Brandon, Dylan,
and Jennie Garth.
236
00:09:08,555 --> 00:09:10,969
You don't know them.
They don't go to your school.
237
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:14,012
Now she's too cool
to talk to you. Ha!
238
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:18,888
What was at the door?
239
00:09:21,429 --> 00:09:23,469
- Pizza guy.
- So where's the pizza?
240
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:25,219
I ate it.
241
00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:26,969
Okay.
242
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,887
It's sweet she's so trusting.
243
00:09:28,888 --> 00:09:30,428
But it hurts my feelings
244
00:09:30,429 --> 00:09:32,595
that she thought I ate
a whole pizza in 30 seconds.
245
00:09:32,596 --> 00:09:35,179
Anna-Kat: Mom! Dad! Come quick!
You have to see this!
246
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,512
It's exactly like in
"Charlotte's Web."
247
00:09:42,513 --> 00:09:44,261
Hans Gruber can spell.
248
00:09:44,262 --> 00:09:46,637
We can't give away
a pig this special.
249
00:09:46,638 --> 00:09:49,053
Actually,
in "Charlotte's Web,"
250
00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:51,261
it was the spider
who could spell, not the pig.
251
00:09:51,262 --> 00:09:52,720
So...
252
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:54,804
I had to pick the one book
you've read.
253
00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,887
Sweetie, Hans Gruber
belongs on a farm.
254
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,470
But I don't want him to go.
255
00:09:58,471 --> 00:10:00,136
I know.
256
00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:02,928
But if you love somebody,
you need to let them grow.
257
00:10:02,929 --> 00:10:05,679
And sometimes that means
letting them go.
258
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,219
And then you'll put
my hair in a bow.
259
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:10,054
Stop trying to Dr. Seuss me.
260
00:10:12,805 --> 00:10:14,261
Who was at the door
earlier?
261
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:16,219
I know you didn't eat a pizza
in 30 seconds.
262
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,470
Thank you.
263
00:10:17,471 --> 00:10:19,428
It was that Zola girl
trying to make up with Taylor.
264
00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:20,512
What'd you tell her?
265
00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:22,053
I told her that Taylor
was friends
266
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,053
with the cast of "90210"
and to never talk to her again.
267
00:10:24,054 --> 00:10:26,053
- Good.
- Good?
268
00:10:26,054 --> 00:10:28,595
No lecture on morals?
269
00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:31,053
No "Oh, what a tangled web
we weave...
270
00:10:31,054 --> 00:10:34,386
when we first...
lie to our friend...
271
00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:35,887
Steve?"
272
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,637
Would you like to hear
the correct version,
273
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,720
or shall I act like
you nailed it and move on?
274
00:10:41,721 --> 00:10:42,679
Nailed it and move on.
275
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,845
Okay.
276
00:10:44,846 --> 00:10:46,011
Well, hey, guys.
277
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,470
We had the best day.
278
00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:49,386
We went golfing
and then--
279
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:52,554
Ran into some old acquaintances
who weren't happy to see me.
280
00:10:52,555 --> 00:10:54,637
They bet us $10,000
on a round of golf.
281
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:55,844
We crushed them.
282
00:10:55,845 --> 00:10:57,969
You crushed them.
He was amazing.
283
00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,886
At my prison,
there wasn't much do but golf.
284
00:10:59,887 --> 00:11:01,595
You know, unless you were
into sport fishing
285
00:11:01,596 --> 00:11:03,053
or hot air ballooning.
286
00:11:03,054 --> 00:11:04,804
We took our winnings
and blew it all on dinner.
287
00:11:04,805 --> 00:11:09,053
How did you spend $10,000
on dinner?
288
00:11:09,054 --> 00:11:11,886
Dessert, plus tip.
Adds up.
289
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:15,637
Well, it's been a long day.
I think I'll go home
290
00:11:15,638 --> 00:11:19,512
and have a Manhattan or two
and drunk-dial Daryl Hannah.
291
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,554
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
292
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,387
That guy is my hero.
293
00:11:22,388 --> 00:11:23,844
Isn't your father
supposed to be your hero?
294
00:11:25,345 --> 00:11:26,969
Good night, Dad.
295
00:11:29,179 --> 00:11:31,094
I got up early
and made you breakfast.
296
00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:31,887
Aww.
297
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,470
- Mmm.
- Good.
298
00:11:34,471 --> 00:11:35,762
It's good.
299
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,136
It has kale in it.
300
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:38,637
Don't ruin it for me.
301
00:11:38,638 --> 00:11:41,303
I thought later we can go
for a walk down at the beach.
302
00:11:41,304 --> 00:11:43,470
We can bury Dad in the sand
and then give him boobies.
303
00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:45,388
I'm gonna go see
if there's a bucket.
304
00:11:46,804 --> 00:11:50,178
It's official--
friendless Taylor just surpassed
305
00:11:50,179 --> 00:11:52,261
"five-month-old-
sleeps-18-hours-a-day Taylor"
306
00:11:52,262 --> 00:11:54,094
as my favorite Taylor.
307
00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:56,261
Oh, it's her phone.
308
00:11:56,262 --> 00:11:58,429
It's one of the Blondetourage
texting her.
309
00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,011
Zola.
310
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,886
She's the one who always has
that dumb look on her face.
311
00:12:02,887 --> 00:12:04,886
What'd she say?
312
00:12:04,887 --> 00:12:06,595
"Hey, Tay-Tay."
Hate her.
313
00:12:06,596 --> 00:12:08,261
- Mm.
- "Where are you?
314
00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:10,261
I stopped by your house
last night to talk,
315
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,886
but your parents
said you were out.
316
00:12:11,887 --> 00:12:12,969
Let's hang."
317
00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:14,679
Hey, I also found
a Frisbee!
318
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,886
Oh, God.
319
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,053
What are you doing?
320
00:12:20,054 --> 00:12:21,595
- Feeling up your mom.
- Mm-hmm.
321
00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:23,720
With my phone?
322
00:12:23,721 --> 00:12:26,304
That's what I'm into, Taylor.
Don't judge.
323
00:12:28,388 --> 00:12:31,512
Zola stopped by last night?
And you didn't tell me?
324
00:12:31,513 --> 00:12:33,761
We didn't want you running back
to those terrible girls.
325
00:12:33,762 --> 00:12:35,969
They have already showed you
who they really are.
326
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,720
They're the worst
and not to be trusted.
327
00:12:37,721 --> 00:12:39,219
Kinda like my parents.
328
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,595
Hey. We're trying
to protect you.
329
00:12:40,596 --> 00:12:42,387
When your mom yelled at them
at Stewart and Kingston's--
330
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:44,053
- Oh, Greg.
- You yelled at them?
331
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,219
They were asking for it.
Who doesn't eat potato chips?
332
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:49,345
Are you insane?!
You're ruining my life!
333
00:12:49,346 --> 00:12:50,845
Ughh.
334
00:12:52,388 --> 00:12:54,011
She's right.
335
00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,011
We are no better
than the Blondetourage.
336
00:12:56,012 --> 00:12:57,470
We're the Parentourage.
337
00:12:57,471 --> 00:12:58,512
Ottotourage.
338
00:12:58,513 --> 00:12:59,803
No need
to one-up me, Greg.
339
00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:02,178
Hey, Spencer and I are going
down to the marina
340
00:13:02,179 --> 00:13:04,345
this afternoon to test out
yachts from Dubai.
341
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:06,430
Is there a rule about wearing
golf shoes yacht-shopping?
342
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,803
Why am I asking you guys?
343
00:13:09,804 --> 00:13:12,679
I'm just setting you up
to fail.
344
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,261
I was never crazy about
Spencer's influence on Oliver,
345
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,969
but now that he's mobile,
it's going to get worse.
346
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:20,470
I am going to go over there
and lay down the law.
347
00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:28,262
Hi, Spencer.
348
00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:29,928
I rang the bell
and no one answered,
349
00:13:29,929 --> 00:13:31,803
so I came around the side.
350
00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:36,844
Oliver
thinks the world of you.
351
00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:39,136
But he is
an impressionable kid,
352
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:43,719
and, well,
we're not helicopter people.
353
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,595
You know, Spencer?
354
00:13:51,095 --> 00:13:52,804
Spencer?
355
00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:04,470
Oh, my God.
356
00:14:10,471 --> 00:14:12,761
Oh, Spencer.
357
00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:33,636
Oliver, we need
to talk to you.
358
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:36,094
Listen, I need to go
yacht shopping with Spencer
359
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:37,636
to complete the cycle.
360
00:14:37,637 --> 00:14:39,094
You look confused.
361
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,928
The cycle consists
of the big four--
362
00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,304
mansion, Ferrari,
363
00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:44,719
plane, yacht.
364
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,011
Oliver--
365
00:14:46,012 --> 00:14:47,554
I know, I know.
I'm a douchebag.
366
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,345
It's not that.
367
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,844
Please.
We need you to sit down.
368
00:14:51,845 --> 00:14:53,136
It's about Spencer.
369
00:14:53,137 --> 00:14:54,263
What about Spencer?
370
00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,969
Sweetie, I am so sorry
to tell you this.
371
00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:02,554
Tell me what?
372
00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:04,137
Spencer...
373
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,345
...passed away today.
374
00:15:09,346 --> 00:15:12,136
What are you talking about?
He was just here.
375
00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:14,179
He was perfectly fine
yesterday.
376
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:18,262
I know it didn't seem like he
was an old guy, but he was.
377
00:15:18,263 --> 00:15:22,220
The paramedics said his heart
just stopped.
378
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,844
He died peacefully,
lying by his pool.
379
00:15:25,845 --> 00:15:28,969
It's okay, honey.
We're here for you.
380
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,179
I'm fine.
381
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,761
I know he was your friend.
382
00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:35,594
And it is okay
to be upset.
383
00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:37,844
Good to know.
But you're right.
384
00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:40,304
He wasn't young
and stuff happens.
385
00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:43,512
But he died rich.
That's the dream, right?
386
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:46,012
I got to go cancel
the yacht guy.
387
00:15:49,221 --> 00:15:51,969
What was that?
He didn't even cry.
388
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:53,803
His voice
didn't even crack.
389
00:15:53,804 --> 00:15:55,345
Maybe he's in shock?
390
00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:57,387
I'm sure it'll set in
eventually.
391
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,304
What if it doesn't?
392
00:15:59,305 --> 00:16:02,387
Then we make him watch Pixar
movies until he feels something.
393
00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:06,553
Honey, don't worry.
394
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:08,928
On the farm, there's a lot of
room for him to run around.
395
00:16:08,929 --> 00:16:11,345
He'll have friends
and be free.
396
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,636
Yeah, free to be
a bag of pork rinds.
397
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:18,137
What happened to,
"it'll set in eventually"?
398
00:16:18,138 --> 00:16:20,137
Oliver just has issues
with happiness.
399
00:16:20,138 --> 00:16:21,886
He has trouble with empathy,
400
00:16:21,887 --> 00:16:23,886
and he's currently showing
no signs of grief.
401
00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:27,262
You realize that is the textbook
definition of a psychopath.
402
00:16:27,263 --> 00:16:29,387
But he's not
torturing animals.
403
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,553
You're right.
How are we so blessed?
404
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:43,011
Look. He already
made friends.
405
00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:44,678
Anna-Kat:
Yeah. Pig friends.
406
00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:46,220
He looks pretty happy.
407
00:16:46,221 --> 00:16:48,054
Mm-hmm.
He does, doesn't he?
408
00:16:49,096 --> 00:16:51,387
Okay, we've been here
long enough.
409
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:53,803
Just say goodbye and we can
get on with our lives.
410
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,470
Come on.
411
00:16:57,845 --> 00:17:00,886
Hans Gruber,
I'm gonna miss you, big guy.
412
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,470
♪ Me and you,
and you and me ♪
413
00:17:03,471 --> 00:17:06,969
♪ No matter how they toss
the dice, it had to be ♪
414
00:17:06,970 --> 00:17:08,886
Yep.
That was our jam.
415
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:11,969
Bye, Hans.
416
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:14,553
I know we didn't start out
the best of friends,
417
00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:16,179
but you grew on me.
418
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,594
The night I ate
all those Girl Scout Cookies,
419
00:17:18,595 --> 00:17:21,469
I looked over and saw you
chewing on a used coffee filter.
420
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:24,262
I feel like you did it to make
me feel better about myself.
421
00:17:24,263 --> 00:17:27,304
And it worked, so thank you.
422
00:17:32,263 --> 00:17:34,054
Goodbye, Hans Gruber.
423
00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:35,678
At least you can make
friends here
424
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,220
without your parents butting in
425
00:17:37,221 --> 00:17:38,554
and deciding
who's best for you.
426
00:17:43,388 --> 00:17:45,761
So this is it.
When Daddy brought you home,
427
00:17:45,762 --> 00:17:48,137
you got a second chance at life,
and I got a chance
428
00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:50,262
to know what real
friendship is all about.
429
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,678
I'm gonna miss your
snorts and your nose kisses.
430
00:17:54,679 --> 00:17:57,969
I'm gonna miss playing fetch
with Daddy's hairbrush.
431
00:17:57,970 --> 00:17:59,844
- What did she just say?
- Shh.
432
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,262
Be a good pig.
433
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,636
And I'll be back to visit
before you know it.
434
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,387
You did good, baby.
435
00:18:14,388 --> 00:18:16,594
I'm spent. Let's go.
436
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,678
Wait. Oliver.
437
00:18:18,679 --> 00:18:20,429
Aren't you
going to say goodbye?
438
00:18:22,221 --> 00:18:24,263
Fine.
439
00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:28,054
Hey.
440
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,553
Take it easy, pig.
441
00:18:30,554 --> 00:18:33,928
Oliver, you're never
going to see him again.
442
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:36,845
Okay.
443
00:18:38,804 --> 00:18:41,012
I guess she's right.
444
00:18:41,013 --> 00:18:43,345
I'm not gonna see you again.
445
00:18:46,138 --> 00:18:48,179
But that's life.
446
00:18:53,055 --> 00:18:55,012
I just want you to know...
447
00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:59,095
...meeting you was one
of the best things
448
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,719
that's ever happened to me.
449
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,636
I'm sorry I never told you that.
450
00:19:02,637 --> 00:19:05,013
I'm just...
451
00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:09,262
The thing is,
452
00:19:09,263 --> 00:19:11,678
I feel like
I just got to know you,
453
00:19:11,679 --> 00:19:13,386
and now you're gone.
454
00:19:15,595 --> 00:19:17,095
It's not fair!
455
00:19:19,138 --> 00:19:21,012
I know, baby.
456
00:19:21,013 --> 00:19:22,095
I know.
457
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:27,761
Oh, my sweet boy.
458
00:19:42,554 --> 00:19:44,803
It was a good idea to play
Monopoly in honor of Spencer.
459
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:47,137
Yeah, we would've caught him
sneaking money into his pocket,
460
00:19:47,138 --> 00:19:48,844
and when we called him on it
he would've gone...
461
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,594
"Swiss bank account, ha-ha!"
462
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,970
Room for one more?
463
00:19:53,971 --> 00:19:55,929
I thought you were going out
with the Blondetourage.
464
00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:58,386
They were supposed to pick me
up, but they blew me off.
465
00:19:58,387 --> 00:20:00,220
I saw on Snapchat they're
already at the party.
466
00:20:00,221 --> 00:20:02,095
Those girls are the worst.
467
00:20:02,096 --> 00:20:03,636
- Mm-hmm.
- I was so stupid.
468
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,386
I should've never
gone back with them.
469
00:20:05,387 --> 00:20:07,137
You were right.
470
00:20:07,138 --> 00:20:10,262
Sometimes that happens.
471
00:20:10,263 --> 00:20:12,262
Now come on and sit down.
472
00:20:12,263 --> 00:20:14,804
You can either be
a button or a Skittle.
473
00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:19,594
You're the button.
474
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,804
- Yes!
- Yeah!
475
00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:25,180
Gotta pay up.
476
00:20:29,304 --> 00:20:31,262
{\an8}Goodnight, sweetheart.
477
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,719
{\an8}Mama?
478
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,304
{\an8}You're not gonna die soon,
are you?
479
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:41,761
{\an8}I am not gonna die
for a very, very long time.
480
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,719
{\an8}But you will someday.
481
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,845
{\an8}Yes. But by the time
that happens,
482
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,929
{\an8}you will be married,
with kids,
483
00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:50,970
{\an8}and I will be living
above your garage
484
00:20:50,971 --> 00:20:53,220
{\an8}spilling popcorn on your couch
and bugging you
485
00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:55,386
{\an8}that you don't spend
enough time with me
486
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,845
{\an8}even though you spend
all your time with me,
487
00:20:57,846 --> 00:21:01,553
{\an8}and you'll be like, "When is she
gonna die already?"
488
00:21:01,554 --> 00:21:02,804
{\an8}Thanks, Mama.
489
00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:05,678
{\an8}You always know what to say
to make me feel better.
35692
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