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1
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,988
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
2
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:31,397
NO!
3
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:34,066
STOP HIM!
HE HELD UP THE BANK!
4
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,467
HE SLUGGED ME!
5
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,504
HOLD IT!
6
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,750
THIS MAN'S DEAD.
WHAT HAPPENED?
7
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,252
HE'S A BANK ROBBER.
8
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:56,422
HE SLUGGED THE TELLER
AS HE WAS MAKING OFF--
9
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,323
DOESN'T SEEM
TO HAVE GOTTEN AWAY
10
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,092
WITH MUCH OF A HAUL,
DOES HE?
11
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,560
I CAN'T HELP THAT.
12
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,729
HE WAS RUNNING
OUT OF THE BANK,
13
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,899
THE TELLER AT HIS HEELS
SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER.
14
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,133
WHAT TELLER?
15
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,135
THE ONE THAT--
16
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,012
CAME RUNNING OUT
OF THIS BANK, YOU SAY?
17
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,314
YEAH, THAT BANK.
18
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,219
NO, NO, PLEASE!
19
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,388
NO, DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!
20
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,124
PLEASE,
DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!
21
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,794
SOMEBODY,
HELP ME PLEASE!
22
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:52,764
OH, FOR SHAME.
23
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,800
RAISING A HAND
TO THE MAN OF THE CLOTH.
24
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,968
BUT I DIDN'T, MA'AM.
25
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,502
HE DIDN'T?
26
00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:59,104
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
FOR NO REASON AT ALL--
27
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,006
YOU OUGHT TO BE
HORSEWHIPPED.
28
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,774
NO, NO, DEAR LADY,
29
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:06,311
LET US RATHER HEED
THE WORDS OF THE GOSPEL--
30
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:08,480
"BE NOT OVERCOME OF EVIL,
31
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,916
BUT OVERCOME EVIL
WITH GOOD."
32
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,519
PEACE TO YOU,
MY MISGUIDED BROTHER.
33
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,326
HE GRABBED THE POOR PARSON,
34
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,028
SLAMMED HIM UP AGAINST
THE SIDE OF THE ELEVATOR,
35
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,596
AND THEN STARTED--
36
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,199
WHY DON'T YOU
TELL THE TRUTH, HUH?
37
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,467
JIM! EXCUSE ME.
38
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,102
TURN HIM LOOSE, JIM.
39
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,171
COLONEL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
40
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,041
I SAID, "TURN HIM LOOSE."
41
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:40,379
IF, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
42
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,514
I SAY, IF YOU HAVE
BEEN ANGERED,
43
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,349
FRIGHTENED,
OR EVEN AMUSED
44
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,518
BY WHAT YOU HAVE
JUST SEEN HERE,
45
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,554
IF, IN SHORT,
YOU HAVE BEEN CAUGHT UP
46
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:53,025
BY THIS BRIEF EXCERPT
FROM OUR LITTLE PLAY,
47
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:57,529
THEN I AM SURE YOU WILL
CERTAINLY WANT TO SEE
48
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:01,199
THE REST OF FABIAN REPLOGLE'S
GRIPPING NEW PLAY,
49
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,036
"BECAUSE
SHE'S YOUR SISTER, SON."
50
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,138
CURRENTLY SHOWING
ALL THIS WEEK
51
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,806
AT THE HAYMARKET THEATER.
52
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,509
YOU WILL LAUGH
WITH A TEAR IN YOUR EYE.
53
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,412
YOU WILL CRY WITH A SMILE
IN YOUR HEART
54
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,547
OVER THIS TENDER LOVE-DRAMA
55
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:19,351
WOVEN AROUND A MILLION STORIES
OF HAPPY FAMILY LIFE.
56
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:22,521
REMEMBER--
THE HAYMARKET ALL THIS WEEK.
57
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,357
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR ATTENTION.
58
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,326
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
59
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,268
WELL, NOW, BACK
TO THE SERIOUS BUSINESS
60
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,236
OF ORDERING A WINE.
61
00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:40,338
ARTIE, I WAS JUST EXPLAINING
TO THE COLONEL
62
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,107
HOW I DIDN'T ROUGH UP
THE PREACHER.
63
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,076
YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN
THAT TO ME, JIM.
64
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,777
OH, EAU DE JUVNAL--
65
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:48,513
A SUNNY,
GOOD-NATURED BURGUNDY--
66
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,516
I DIDN'T SO MUCH
AS LAY A FINGER ON HIM!
67
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,185
AT EASE, JIM.
68
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,555
NOW, I SUGGESTED THIS DINNER
SO WE COULD TALK UNOFFICIALLY.
69
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,958
ABOUT MY BEHAVIOR
THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS?
70
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,526
COME ON, JIM,
STOP IT.
71
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,361
THAT IS RIGHT, ISN'T IT?
72
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,797
YES, DECIDEDLY.
73
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,967
EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN,
BUT YOUR WINE LIST.
74
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,537
WELL, I ACCIDENTALLY
DROPPED IT.
75
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,807
WELL, LET'S SEE...
EAU DE JUVNAL
76
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,344
BECAUSE WE'RE IN SUCH
A SUNNY, GOOD-NATURED MOOD.
77
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,881
AS I WAS SAYING, THERE WAS
AN INCIDENT A FEW WEEKS AGO
78
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,483
AND I STARTED RECEIVING GIFTS.
79
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,152
AS IF SOMEONE WAS MAKING
A PAYMENT FOR FAVORS GRANTED,
80
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:29,721
ONLY THE DEPARTMENT NEVER
BOUGHT THAT FOR A MOMENT.
81
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,157
OH, WELL,
I'M TOUCHED, COLONEL.
82
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,260
AND THEN THERE WAS
THOSE ANONYMOUS LETTERS
83
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,129
ABOUT ME WELSHING
ON MY GAMBLING DEBTS.
84
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,563
NOBODY TOOK THAT SERIOUSLY.
85
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,432
MM-HMM. AND THEN I SHOOT
IN THE AIR,
86
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,101
AND I KILL A BANK ROBBER
WHO ISN'T A BANK ROBBER
87
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,904
BECAUSE THE BANK HASN'T BEEN
IN OPERATION FOR YEARS.
88
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,606
NOW STOP IT, JIM.
THAT'S AN ORDER!
89
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,742
AND THEN TONIGHT,
I ROUGH UP A PREACHER
90
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,511
FOR NO APPARENT REASON!
91
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,979
JIM!
92
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,514
I'M SORRY I'M LATE,
DARLING,
93
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,083
BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS
SHOPPING WITH MOTHER.
94
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,918
NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS.
95
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,788
OH, JIM, THEY'RE GOING
TO THINK YOU'RE REAL--
96
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,923
OH, YOU MUST BE
COLONEL RICHMOND.
97
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,525
CRYSTAL THAYER'S MY NAME.
98
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,026
HOW DO YOU DO?
99
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:10,695
AND YOU'RE
ARTEMUS GORDON!
100
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:14,099
OH! JIM'S TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
101
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,369
I FEEL LIKE
WE'RE OLD FRIENDS, TOO.
102
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,337
OH, YOU DOG, HOW DID YOU
KEEP THIS ONE
103
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:20,939
UNDERCOVER ALL THIS TIME?
104
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,209
BECAUSE I NEVER SAW THIS
WOMAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
105
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,844
JIM! OH, I SEE.
106
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,847
THEN YOU STILL
HAVEN'T FORGIVEN ME
107
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,882
FOR THE OTHER NIGHT?
108
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,820
I SAID "I'M SORRY."
NOW WHAT MORE CAN I DO?
109
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,856
YOU CAN START BY TELLING ME
WHAT YOUR GAME IS,
110
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,791
AND WHO PUT YOU UP TO IT.
111
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,360
OH, WHEN YOU SAID
IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT,
112
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:44,129
I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOU
113
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,698
INSTEAD OF COMING HERE
AND TRYING TO--
114
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,768
OH, JIM!
115
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,646
OH, BRAVO!
116
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,916
BE READY WHEN THE CURTAIN
GOES UP, MISS BERNHARDT.
117
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,419
DON'T HIT ME AGAIN,
JIM, PLEASE!
118
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,753
WEST!
119
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,922
AS YOU WERE, MISTER.
120
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:16,027
NOW, THE NEXT TIME WE HAVE
MATTERS TO DISCUSS,
121
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,931
IT WILL BE
OVER AN OFFICIAL TABLE.
122
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,613
DID YOU GENTLEMEN
ON THE BOARD
123
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:37,115
COME TO ANY DECISION
IN THERE?
124
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:39,683
HOLD IT, GENTLEMEN.
HOLD IT!
125
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:41,753
NOW, HANSBURY,
WE'VE ALWAYS COOPERATED
126
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:43,922
WITH THE "TRIBUNE,"
WITH ALL OF YOU BOYS.
127
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,124
SO WHERE THE DEVIL
DID YOU GET THE IDEA
128
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,926
MR. WEST IS ON THE PAN?
129
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,295
THE COLONEL SENT US
THIS FACT SHEET.
130
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:52,597
IT HAS THE TIME, PLACE,
AND THE CHARGES.
131
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,633
I'VE NEVER
SEEN THIS BEFORE.
132
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,234
THEN MR. WEST
IS NOT ON THE PAN?
133
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,702
OF COURSE HE ISN'T.
134
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,705
MR. WEST IS ONE OF THE
MOST HIGHLY REGARDED MEN
135
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,274
IN THE DEPARTMENT.
136
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,376
EVEN AFTER LAST NIGHT?
137
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,378
OH, COME ON, BOYS,
LAST NIGHT WAS JUST
138
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,647
ONE OF THOSE THINGS--
YOUTHFUL HIGH SPIRITS.
139
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,983
YOU'RE BOTH YOUNG ENOUGH
TO STILL REMEMBER THAT.
140
00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:14,886
MR. WEST IS, UH... LEAVING US
ONLY FOR A LONG-AWAITED
141
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,788
AND A RICHLY DESERVED VACATION.
142
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:19,057
AH, BUT IT'S ALSO
A SPECIAL VACATION.
143
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,926
LONG-AWAITED,
TRUE, GENTLEMEN,
144
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,260
AND RICHLY DESERVED.
145
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,429
AND ALSO, I MIGHT ADD,
PERMANENT,
146
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,998
AND I'M DELIGHTED
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
147
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,566
HEY, JIM, REALLY,
148
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,203
THAT LAST REMARK
WASN'T CALLED FOR.
149
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:58,064
SERGEANT OF ORDNANCE!
150
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,601
SERGEANT!
151
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,976
WELL, I JUST--
152
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,511
I JUST FIRED THAT
FOR EFFECT, SERGEANT.
153
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:17,148
THE FORWARD BATTERY
NEEDS SOME RELOADING.
154
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,351
LOOK, GENERAL,
YOUR ARTILLERY FIRE
155
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,519
IS STARTING
TO ANNOY THE NATIVES.
156
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,655
WHY DON'T YOU
GET OUT OF HERE?
157
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:26,459
GIVE THE NICE MAN
WHAT HE WANTS, LOBO.
158
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,235
HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR DRINK?
159
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:51,677
TATTOO?
160
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,171
MY LUCK,
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT?
161
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:22,273
I RUN INTO THE SAME
ORIENTAL BEAUTY.
162
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,409
SHE HAS TO BE
THE EYES OF THAT GANG,
163
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,810
AND I FOLLOW HER
164
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,979
INTO WHAT TURNS OUT
TO BE A TATTOO PARLOR.
165
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,281
I KNEW IF I TURNED AROUND
AND WALKED OUT,
166
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:31,783
I'D AROUSE SUSPICION,
167
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:34,152
SO...I WOUND UP
GETTING MYSELF TATTOOED.
168
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,587
AND THEN?
169
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,756
WELL, THEN JIM CAME IN
PLAYING THE ROLE
170
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:41,659
OF BUSTED AGENT
TO THE HILT.
171
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:44,162
I TELL YOU, COLONEL,
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM.
172
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,797
WELL, GO ON, GO ON.
173
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:48,466
NOTHING. HE WOUND UP GOING
INTO THIS LITTLE BOOTH,
174
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,102
DREW THE CURTAIN AND...
CURTAINS, THAT WAS ALL.
175
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,937
AND HE NEVER CAME OUT?
176
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,273
NO, NOT THROUGH THAT
FRONT DOOR HE DIDN'T.
177
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,776
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SO HAPPY ABOUT.
178
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:02,547
HE COULD BE AT THE BOTTOM
OF SAN FRANCISCO BAY
179
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,349
AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
180
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,451
OH, COME ON, COLONEL.
181
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,654
WE KNOW WHOEVER WENT
TO ALL OF THIS TROUBLE
182
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,891
TO BUILD AN ORNATE PLAN
TO MAKE JIM LOOK BAD
183
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,894
HAD A LOT MORE IN MIND
FOR HIM THAN THAT.
184
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,530
YES, YES, I AGREE.
BY GODFREY!
185
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,065
I THINK YOUR PLAN
WORKED OUT FINE THIS TIME.
186
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,067
I THINK WE REALLY
PULLED THE WOOL
187
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,703
OVER THE EYES OF--
OF WHO? WHO IS MR. BIG?
188
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:28,072
AND WHAT OPERATION
IS HE COOKING UP
189
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:31,142
THAT JIM HAS OBVIOUSLY
BEEN ASSIGNED A ROLE IN?
190
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,245
THAT'S ONE MINOR DETAIL
I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT YET.
191
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,548
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
192
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,016
I DON'T KNOW.
193
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,418
I THINK I MAY EVEN LEARN
194
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:43,821
TO GROW FOND OF IT
AFTER A WHILE.
195
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:47,992
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
YOUR BLASTED TATTOO!
196
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:51,229
I'M TALKING ABOUT JIM!
WHAT'S OUR NEXT MOVE?
197
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,699
COLONEL, OUR NEXT MOVE IS
THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL.
198
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,336
WE JUST SIT AND WAIT
TO HEAR FROM HIM.
199
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,945
THE COUCH
YOU ARE RISING FROM
200
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,548
ONCE SAGGED
BENEATH THE WEIGHT
201
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,417
OF THE QUEEN
OF ALL THE ASSYRIANS.
202
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,787
MAY ONE HOPE
THAT YOU RESTED AS WELL
203
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:53,025
AS THAT SCARLET-LIPPED
SEMIRAMIS HERSELF.
204
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:58,630
WHO ARE YOU?
205
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,033
YOUR HOST.
206
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,005
YOU'VE MET SONG,
OF COURSE.
207
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:11,543
SEVERAL TIMES.
JUST BEFORE DISASTER STRUCK.
208
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:17,149
AND YOU REMEMBER RAYMOND?
209
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:23,821
THE KINDLY DOCTOR
WITH HIS BAG OF TRICKS.
210
00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,323
AND MY VICTIM?
211
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:28,427
MOKE.
212
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,536
AND THE PHONY PREACHER MAN.
213
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:48,780
AND NO PARTY WOULD BE COMPLETE
WITHOUT CRYSTAL.
214
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,515
WHERE IS SHE?
215
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:54,953
AT YOUR SIDE, JIM, DARLING,
WHERE I BELONG.
216
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,364
YOU HAVEN'T
INTRODUCED YOURSELF.
217
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:10,635
ELISHA CALAMANDER,
YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT.
218
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,904
THE MAN RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE PRANKS
219
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,572
I'VE BEEN SUBJECTED TO.
220
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:17,743
ONE FEELS
OBLIGED TO SAY "YES."
221
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:35,259
ONE FINDS YOU
QUITE AMAZING, SIR.
222
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,029
WITH THE DRUG'S EFFECTS
FAR FROM DISSIPATED,
223
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:41,100
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE
FOR YOU TO HAVE DONE THIS.
224
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,873
I'LL GET TO YOU YET,
CALAMANDER.
225
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:51,909
OF COURSE, ONLY ONE
HOPES THAT THAT WILL BE
226
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:55,213
WHEN YOU ARE PROPERLY
FRESHENED AND BARBERED.
227
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:59,351
YOU COULD HAVE
A POINT THERE.
228
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:17,602
YOU'RE THE LEAST TALKATIVE
BARBER I'VE EVER MET.
229
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,703
THAT IS BAD, YES?
230
00:17:19,704 --> 00:17:22,206
NO, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
231
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:26,144
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE ANYWAY?
232
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:29,213
A SERVANT
TO MR. CALAMANDER.
233
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,748
A SERVANT?
234
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:35,119
HONORABLE PARENTS
VERY POOR WHEN SONG SMALL.
235
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,990
AFRAID SONG GO HUNGRY
TOO MANY TIMES.
236
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:43,428
MR. CALAMANDER OFFERED
TO SAVE MY LIFE.
237
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:47,999
SO, CALAMANDER BOUGHT YOU
FROM YOUR PARENTS, RIGHT?
238
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,068
LONG AS HONORABLE MASTER
LIVES,
239
00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,304
SONG WILL SERVE HIM.
240
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,374
EVER THOUGHT
OF GROWING A BEARD, JIM?
241
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,746
INCIDENTALLY, IF YOU
CAN SPARE THE TIME,
242
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,282
MR. CALAMANDER
WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU.
243
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,685
CAN'T KEEP MY HOST WAITING.
THANK YOU.
244
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:44,790
SIT DOWN, MR. WEST.
245
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,696
ARE YOU STILL BITTER, SIR?
246
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,398
SHOULD I BE GRATEFUL, SIR?
247
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:58,536
YES. ONE ASKS YOU
TO REFLECT.
248
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:01,873
YEARS OF DEDICATED SERVICE,
BRILLIANT WORK,
249
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,175
DANGEROUS, WRETCHEDLY PAID,
250
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:07,812
AND SEE HOW CALLOUSLY
THEY HAVE CAST YOU OFF
251
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,847
LIKE AN OLD SHOE.
252
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:16,087
YES, SIR, THOSE ARE PISTOLS
BEING TRAINED UPON YOU,
253
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,556
SO HEAR ME OUT,
IF YOU WILL.
254
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,659
ONE KNOWS THE RANGE
OF YOUR TALENTS, MR. WEST.
255
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,528
ONE CHERISHES THEM AS MUCH
256
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,830
AS YOUR LATE EMPLOYERS
EVER DID.
257
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,732
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BEING,
258
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:30,201
ONE IS PREPARED
TO PAY FOR THEM,
259
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:32,169
AND PAY VERY WELL INDEED.
260
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,771
WHAT'S YOUR GAME?
261
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:37,408
MY GAME, AS YOU PUT IT,
IS A PASSION FOR ANONYMITY.
262
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,078
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF ME BEFORE, SIR?
263
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,715
AND YET, ONE MAY
MODESTLY LAY CLAIM
264
00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:47,618
TO BEING AT THE TOP
OF ONE'S PROFESSION.
265
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,521
WHAT IS ONE'S PROFESSION?
266
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,391
ONE IS IN TOUCH
WITH MANY WEALTHY MEN
267
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,227
WHO HUNGER AFTER TREASURES
SO ILLICIT
268
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,963
THEY MAY NEVER SHOW THEM
TO ANYONE ELSE.
269
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:02,400
YET TREASURES, NEVERTHELESS,
THEY MUST HAVE.
270
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:06,804
THE VENUS DE MILO,
THE MONA LISA,
271
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,874
THE CROWN JEWELS
OF ENGLAND.
272
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:14,478
ONE SUPPLIES SUCH ITEMS
FOR VERY HANDSOME PRICES.
273
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,948
WHERE DO I COME IN?
274
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,916
MORE ABOUT THAT LATER.
275
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:22,119
FOR NOW, LOOK INSIDE
YOUR JACKET POCKET,
276
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,057
IF YOU WILL.
277
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:36,968
$5,000-- MERE TOKEN MONEY.
278
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,805
JUST TO SHOW OUR GOOD FAITH,
AS IT WERE.
279
00:20:56,488 --> 00:21:00,424
A MERE 10%
OF WHAT WE ARE OFFERING
280
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,895
FOR YOUR SERVICES,
MR. WEST-- $50,000.
281
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,874
TAKE IT, JIM.
282
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,944
IT MEANS
INDEPENDENCE, MR. WEST.
283
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,846
IT RECOGNIZES THE FACT
284
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:25,116
THAT THE LABORER
IS WORTHY OF HIS HIRE.
285
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:29,153
ALSO, IT IS THE NICEST WAY
YOU CAN THUMB YOUR NOSE
286
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:32,657
AT MR. GORDON,
COLONEL RICHMOND,
287
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:36,561
AND ALL THE REST
OF THAT DREARY CREW.
288
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,309
THIS CALLS
FOR A CELEBRATION.
289
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:53,979
I'LL TAKE YOU TO DINNER.
290
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:58,283
WELL...
291
00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:19,570
WILL THERE BE
ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?
292
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:21,372
NO, THANK YOU.
293
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:23,107
OF COURSE.
294
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,177
I WISH YOU
COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE
295
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,679
WHEN I DANCED UP
TO YOU AND THE OTHERS.
296
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,414
"SORRY I'M LATE, DARLING,
297
00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:33,384
BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS
SHOPPING WITH MOTHER."
298
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,761
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO START ASKING QUESTIONS?
299
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:46,430
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW
I WAS SUPPOSED TO.
300
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,966
YOU DON'T FOOL ME ANY
BECAUSE I KNOW
301
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,869
YOU'RE JUST DYING TO
FIND OUT WHAT THE JOB IS
302
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,871
CALAMANDER WANTS YOU TO DO.
303
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:57,108
CALAMANDER WILL TELL ME
WHEN HE WANTS TO TELL ME.
304
00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,110
I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY,
305
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,979
BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING
TO TELL YOU ANYTHING.
306
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:04,215
I'M NOT EVEN
GOING TO TELL YOU
307
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,983
WHY CALAMANDER PICKED YOU.
308
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:08,886
BECAUSE YOU'RE SOME SORT
OF SUPERMAN.
309
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,789
SUPERMAN? NOW I KNOW
YOU'RE PULLING MY LEG.
310
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,390
NO, HONEST, HONEST.
311
00:23:13,391 --> 00:23:15,626
SEE, CALAMANDER
NEEDED SOMEBODY
312
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:18,295
WHO'S A TALENTED SWIMMER
AND A DIVER
313
00:23:18,296 --> 00:23:20,464
AND AN ACROBAT
AND A FIGHTER
314
00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:23,267
AND A MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
AND ET CETERA.
315
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:26,103
AND THAT'S YOU.
316
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:29,006
AND FROM WHAT
I UNDERSTAND,
317
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:33,310
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
ALL THOSE SPECIAL SKILLS
318
00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:36,981
TO CARRY OFF
THAT LITTLE CHORE
319
00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:40,785
CALAMANDER'S GOT
LINED UP FOR YOU.
320
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,620
STEAL BACK--
321
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:45,589
I'D LIKE
TO GET OUT OF HERE.
322
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,424
YOU TALK TOO MUCH.
323
00:23:47,425 --> 00:23:48,693
ALL RIGHT.
324
00:24:44,249 --> 00:24:45,549
THERE.
325
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:48,052
SO TO RECAP
THE INFORMATION
326
00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:51,889
THAT JIM PASSED ON TO ME
ON THAT MENU--
327
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:55,025
"CHECK ELISHA CALAMANDER."
328
00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:58,028
DID IT. WE DON'T HAVE
A THING ON HIM.
329
00:24:58,029 --> 00:25:00,364
"PICK SWIM, DIVE, FIGHT,
ACRO, SHOOT, CLIMB
330
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,900
FOR STEAL THING--
STEAL WHAT?"
331
00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:06,170
NOW, ROUGHLY TRANSLATED,
THAT MEANS THAT JIM
332
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,106
WAS CHOSEN BY A CERTAIN
MR. CALAMANDER
333
00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:13,177
FOR A PROJECT THAT REQUIRES
TALENT AT SWIMMING, DIVING,
334
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:14,945
SHOOTING, FIGHTING,
AND ACROBATICS.
335
00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:17,281
THAT THIRD POSTSCRIPT
IS JUST TO TELL US
336
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:20,217
ALL THIS ACTIVITY WAS FOR
THE PURPOSE OF STEALING BACK
337
00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:22,419
SOMETHING THAT WAS STOLEN
TO BEGIN WITH.
338
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:24,455
WELL, WHAT WAS IT
THAT WAS STOLEN,
339
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:25,756
WHERE IS IT NOW,
340
00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:27,892
AND WHEN IS IT ALL
GOING TO TAKE PLACE?
341
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:30,227
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
JIM DID NOT SAY.
342
00:25:30,228 --> 00:25:32,296
I'LL READ THE LIST
OVER AGAIN.
343
00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:35,132
A SET OF SERIES "R" PLATES
STOLEN FROM THE MINT,
344
00:25:35,133 --> 00:25:37,601
$128,000 WORTH OF
GOVERNMENT SECURITIES
345
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,638
STOLEN FROM THE BUREAU
OF PRINTING AND ENGRAVING,
346
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:43,440
TWO GATLING GUNS STOLEN
FROM FORT WINFIELD SCOTT--
347
00:25:43,441 --> 00:25:46,143
I THINK YOU'RE JUST GETTING
COLDER AND COLDER.
348
00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:49,146
WE DON'T KNOW
ONE BLASTED THING, DO WE?
349
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:51,215
I WOULDN'T SAY THAT,
COLONEL.
350
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,618
MR. CALAMANDER IS
A PATRON OF THE FINE ARTS,
351
00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:57,221
I KNOW THAT HE GOES IN
FOR BIG PROJECTS,
352
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:00,758
AND I KNOW HE LOVES TO
MAKE ELABORATE GESTURES.
353
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:02,793
WELL, NOW,
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
354
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,561
I HAD THAT CHECKED OUT.
355
00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:07,831
NOW, THAT ONCE BELONGED
TO MARIA SOPHIA,
356
00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:09,600
QUEEN OF PORTUGAL.
357
00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:13,070
IT WAS STOLEN
FROM THE MUSEUM OF LISBON.
358
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:14,672
WHAT'S THE CONNECTION?
359
00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:17,808
THAT'S THE RING
CRYSTAL THREW BACK AT JIM
360
00:26:17,809 --> 00:26:19,978
WHEN SHE BROKE
THEIR ENGAGEMENT.
361
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,487
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?
362
00:26:30,488 --> 00:26:31,855
AH, MR. WEST.
363
00:26:31,856 --> 00:26:35,192
TAKE A MOMENT
TO ACKNOWLEDGE PERFECTION
364
00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:37,494
SO EXULTANT THAT IT PAINS.
365
00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:39,263
VERY BEAUTIFUL, SIR.
366
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,632
I'M GLAD YOU AGREE WITH ME.
367
00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:45,202
OH, BY THE WAY,
MOKE INFORMS ME
368
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:48,840
THAT YOU COMPOSED
THESE SYMBOLS.
369
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:55,946
ONE IS TEMPTED TO WONDER
370
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:58,983
WHETHER THOSE SYMBOLS
FORM SOME SORT OF A CODE
371
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:02,519
TO BE PICKED UP, LET US SAY,
BY A COLLEAGUE
372
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,523
DISGUISED AS A WAITER
OR A BUSBOY?
373
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:11,262
I DON'T LIKE TROUBLEMAKERS.
374
00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:24,308
AN INTERESTING PIECE
OF BYPLAY, SIR,
375
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:27,144
BUT HARDLY AN ANSWER
TO ONE'S QUESTION.
376
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:29,513
WHAT DO THESE SYMBOLS SAY?
377
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,752
AND EXACTLY
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, SONG?
378
00:27:34,753 --> 00:27:36,687
PATTERNS ON RICE PAPER.
379
00:27:36,688 --> 00:27:39,823
SILLY GAME SONG TAUGHT
MR. WEST TO PLAY.
380
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,726
SONG ASHAMED TO BE
CAUSE OF TROUBLE.
381
00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:44,595
A SIMPLE EXPLANATION.
382
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:47,564
ONE WONDERS
WHY YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT.
383
00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:52,936
I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN
AROUND TO IT EVENTUALLY.
384
00:27:52,937 --> 00:27:55,572
ONE OFFERS APOLOGIES.
385
00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:58,242
ONE ACCEPTS.
386
00:27:58,243 --> 00:28:01,111
AND NOW, MR. WEST, PERHAPS
IT IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY
387
00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,248
TO ACQUAINT YOU
WITH OUR LITTLE PROJECT.
388
00:28:09,654 --> 00:28:11,422
WELL, ARTEMUS?
389
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:16,560
I'VE BEEN JUGGLING THE
ELEMENTS IN THIS CASE--
390
00:28:16,561 --> 00:28:20,097
ALL OF JIM'S
SPECIAL SKILLS,
391
00:28:20,098 --> 00:28:25,769
THE TOPOGRAPHICAL FEATURES
THAT SEEM TO BE INDICATED,
392
00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:27,371
LIKE THE BODY OF WATER.
393
00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:29,373
IN OTHER WORDS,
NOTHING, RIGHT?
394
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,875
EVERYTHING BUT THE "WHAT"
AND THE "WHERE."
395
00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:33,911
WHAT IS CALAMANDER
GOING FOR,
396
00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:36,713
AND WHERE IS THE OPERATION
GOING TO TAKE PLACE?
397
00:28:36,714 --> 00:28:38,649
SIR?
398
00:28:38,650 --> 00:28:40,451
LATER, KEELEY. I DON'T WANT
TO BE INTERRUPTED.
399
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:42,219
IT'S MARKED "TOP URGENT."
400
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,994
WELL, MORE TROUBLE.
401
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:54,731
SOME EXPERIMENTAL CHEMICAL
HAS BEEN FOUND MISSING.
402
00:28:54,732 --> 00:28:56,767
KILESIUM, WHATEVER THAT IS.
403
00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:58,569
THAT'S KI-LESIUM.
404
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:01,271
IT'S A DISTILLATE
OF SEAWATER.
405
00:29:01,272 --> 00:29:04,074
ACCIDENTALLY DISCOVERED
BY DR. QUANDUM
406
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:07,411
DURING HIS FAMOUS EXPERIMENTS
ON HIGH PRESSURES.
407
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:09,813
EVENTUALLY RESULTED
IN HIS DEATH,
408
00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:11,482
AS A MATTER OF FACT.
409
00:29:11,483 --> 00:29:14,618
KILESIUM WAS FOUND TO CONTAIN
THE MOST ASPHYXIATING--
410
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:16,186
KILESIUM?
411
00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:20,357
THERE WAS ONLY ONE VIAL
OF THAT IN EXISTENCE.
412
00:29:20,358 --> 00:29:23,460
YES, WELL, THAT'S
WHAT'S BEEN STOLEN.
413
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:28,866
WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO ABOUT JIM?
414
00:29:28,867 --> 00:29:30,601
I DON'T KNOW.
415
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:33,370
I'M SURE HE MUST REALIZE
416
00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:37,674
THAT WE DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH INFORMATION
417
00:29:37,675 --> 00:29:40,310
TO DO ANYTHING THAT--
418
00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:42,479
WHAT IS IT?
419
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,883
HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT VIAL
OF KILESIUM STOLEN?
420
00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:49,953
PROBABLY A MONTH.
421
00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:51,788
ALL RIGHT,
422
00:29:51,789 --> 00:29:54,224
I'VE SEEN THAT MONA LISA SMILE
OF YOURS BEFORE.
423
00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:55,559
WHAT DO YOU GOT COOKING?
424
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,060
IT WORKS. IT FITS.
425
00:29:57,061 --> 00:29:59,963
IT'S THE KILESIUM
THAT CALAMANDER IS AFTER.
426
00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:02,232
WELL, NOW,
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
427
00:30:02,233 --> 00:30:05,068
"A," BECAUSE IT WAS STOLEN
TO BEGIN WITH.
428
00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:08,305
"B," BECAUSE ANYONE
WHO POSSESSES THAT VIAL
429
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:10,874
CAN GET ALMOST ANY PRICE
HE CARES TO NAME--
430
00:30:10,875 --> 00:30:12,209
IT'S THAT DEADLY.
431
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,545
WITH ENOUGH KILESIUM,
ONE COULD DECIMATE
432
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:16,914
THIS ENTIRE COUNTRY
WITHIN 24 HOURS,
433
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:19,650
AND THAT ONE SMALL VIAL
IS THE ONLY SAMPLE KNOWN.
434
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:23,353
IF YOUR THEORY IS CORRECT,
WE'RE WORSE OFF THAN EVER.
435
00:30:23,354 --> 00:30:26,557
A TINY VIAL LIKE THAT
COULD BE HIDDEN ANYWHERE!
436
00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:28,025
THAT'S "C," SIR.
437
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:30,928
I THINK I CAN TELL YOU
EXACTLY WHERE IT IS.
438
00:30:30,929 --> 00:30:33,263
KILESIUM IS
EXTREMELY UNSTABLE.
439
00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:36,066
AT 70 DEGREES,
UNDER NORMAL AIR PRESSURE,
440
00:30:36,067 --> 00:30:39,203
IT CONVERTS IMMEDIATELY
INTO A POISON GAS--
441
00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:41,838
THE MOST DEADLY POISON GAS
THAT EVER WAS.
442
00:30:41,839 --> 00:30:44,241
IN ORDER
TO BE STORED SAFELY,
443
00:30:44,242 --> 00:30:47,578
IT HAS TO BE MAINTAINED
IN A SALINE SOLUTION
444
00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:50,247
AT A TEMPERATURE
UNDER 70 DEGREES,
445
00:30:50,248 --> 00:30:53,450
AT A PRESSURE OF 29 POUNDS
PER SQUARE INCH.
446
00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:56,720
THE SIMPLEST AND MOST
LOGICAL WAY TO DO THAT
447
00:30:56,721 --> 00:30:59,856
WOULD BE TO STORE IT
IN A TANK OF SEAWATER.
448
00:30:59,857 --> 00:31:01,125
WAIT A MINUTE.
449
00:31:04,162 --> 00:31:05,929
A TANK 30 FEET DEEP.
450
00:31:05,930 --> 00:31:09,366
NOW THAT WOULD ACCOUNT
FOR THE DIVING AND SWIMMING
451
00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:11,068
THAT ARE CALLED FOR.
452
00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:13,704
NOW, A TANK OF SEAWATER
30 FEET HIGH
453
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:16,907
WOULD HAVE TO BE SITUATED
RIGHT OFF THE SEACOAST
454
00:31:16,908 --> 00:31:19,142
SO THAT THE CONSTANTLY
EVAPORATING SEAWATER
455
00:31:19,143 --> 00:31:20,944
COULD BE CONSTANTLY
REPLENISHED.
456
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:23,413
OH, ARTEMUS, THAT WOULD BE
A RISKY UNDERTAKING,
457
00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:25,882
BECAUSE EVERY COASTAL
INSTALLATION AND BUILDING
458
00:31:25,883 --> 00:31:28,785
WOULD BE SUBJECT
TO GOVERNMENT CONTROL.
459
00:31:28,786 --> 00:31:32,289
YES, BUT THERE'S A CHAIN
OF SALTWATER LAKES
460
00:31:32,290 --> 00:31:35,993
RIGHT HERE IN THIS AREA,
FAR FROM THE COAST--
461
00:31:35,994 --> 00:31:39,296
THE TRACES OF ANTEDILUVIAN
INLAND OCEANS.
462
00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:41,832
THEY WOULD MAKE
A PERFECT SPOT
463
00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,334
IN WHICH SOMEBODY
COULD KEEP
464
00:31:44,335 --> 00:31:47,638
A 30-FOOT TANK
OF SALTWATER IN PRIVATE.
465
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:48,905
KEELEY!
466
00:31:48,906 --> 00:31:50,907
ON THE SALT LAKES
IN THE AREA,
467
00:31:50,908 --> 00:31:54,077
I WANT EVERY MAP AND CHART
YOU CAN BEG, BORROW,
468
00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:55,346
AND COMMANDEER!
469
00:31:57,215 --> 00:31:59,249
THE HAND OF SAINT STEPHEN,
470
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,785
ONE OF THE OLD RELICS
OF MARTYRDOM.
471
00:32:01,786 --> 00:32:05,122
SO, THIS IS WHAT PUTS THE GLEAM
IN YOUR CLIENT'S EYE.
472
00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:06,757
THE PRICE IT COMMANDS
473
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,259
IS EXCEEDED ONLY
BY THE BURNING DESIRE
474
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:11,628
AND THE POCKETBOOK
OF THE BUYER,
475
00:32:11,629 --> 00:32:14,931
BOTH, AS IT HAPPENS,
OF GIGANTIC PROPORTIONS.
476
00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:18,802
THE $100,000 THAT YOU
MAKE OFF THE DEAL
477
00:32:18,803 --> 00:32:20,538
WILL HARDLY DENT THE BUDGET.
478
00:32:24,409 --> 00:32:27,944
ONE HAD ALREADY SETTLED
MR. WEST'S PRICE
479
00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:30,180
AT $50,000, MY DEAR.
480
00:32:30,181 --> 00:32:32,149
OH, EXCUSE ME.
481
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:35,720
STILL, SIR, $100,000
IS NO MORE THAN FAIR.
482
00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:43,460
ONE IS INCLINED TO AGREE.
$100,000 IT IS.
483
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:47,664
AND NOW THAT CRYSTAL'S
PASSIONATE PREOCCUPATION
484
00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:49,499
WITH MONEY HAS DOUBLED
YOUR DIVIDEND,
485
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,536
LET US GO ON TO TALK ABOUT
A CERTAIN MR. INIGO GOLEM.
486
00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:54,237
IS THE NAME FAMILIAR?
487
00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:57,474
HE'S THE DIRECTOR OF THE MARINE
BIOLOGICAL INSTITUTION
488
00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:59,476
AT FOWLES POINT INLAND SEA.
489
00:32:59,477 --> 00:33:02,913
THAT, SIR, IS THE FACE HE
PRESENTS TO A CREDULOUS WORLD.
490
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:06,183
IN POINT OF FACT, MR. GOLEM
HAS RECENTLY BRANCHED OUT
491
00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:08,919
INTO THE SAME LINE
OF BUSINESS AS MYSELF.
492
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,654
HE STOLE A MARCH ON ME
493
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,490
BY SECURING THE HAND
BEFORE I COULD,
494
00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:16,493
AND WITHIN A 30-FOOT TANK
IN HIS LABORATORY,
495
00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:18,428
HE HAS HIDDEN AWAY THE PRIZE.
496
00:33:18,429 --> 00:33:21,098
AND MY JOB
IS TO LIBERATE IT.
497
00:33:21,099 --> 00:33:22,366
PRECISELY.
498
00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:24,868
SIR, HOW DO I GO ABOUT IT?
499
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:27,105
MY DEAR.
500
00:33:39,984 --> 00:33:42,219
DO SIT DOWN, MR. WEST.
501
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:46,023
THIS WILL TAKE A LITTLE
TIME TO EXPLAIN.
502
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,594
LET ME REPEAT, SIR.
503
00:33:50,595 --> 00:33:53,797
TIMING WILL BE
OF EXQUISITE IMPORTANCE
504
00:33:53,798 --> 00:33:56,700
IN THE SUCCESS
OF THIS OPERATION.
505
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:59,970
WE HAVE MANAGED TO CHART
THE EBB AND FLOW
506
00:33:59,971 --> 00:34:01,638
OF THE LAKEWATER
507
00:34:01,639 --> 00:34:04,741
AS IT IS BEING PUMPED
INTO THE CONDUIT
508
00:34:04,742 --> 00:34:06,910
YOU WILL BE NEGOTIATING.
509
00:34:06,911 --> 00:34:10,247
THE ONLY FEASIBLE WAY
INTO THE LABORATORY.
510
00:34:10,248 --> 00:34:11,715
AND THE ONLY WAY OUT.
511
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,283
THERE IS ONLY AN 18-MINUTE
INTERVAL OF TIME
512
00:34:14,284 --> 00:34:18,088
DURING WHICH WATER IS NOT
PUMPED INTO THE CONDUIT.
513
00:34:18,089 --> 00:34:21,491
YOU WILL HAVE TO ENTER,
PERFORM YOUR CHORES,
514
00:34:21,492 --> 00:34:25,095
AND LEAVE, ALL WITHIN
THE ALLOTTED TIME PERIOD,
515
00:34:25,096 --> 00:34:28,932
OR ELSE, IT COULD BE
EXCEEDINGLY AWKWARD.
516
00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:31,401
FOR "AWKWARD,"
SUBSTITUTE "FATAL."
517
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:34,071
ONE TRIES NOT TO DWELL
ON THAT.
518
00:35:26,624 --> 00:35:28,692
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.
519
00:35:28,693 --> 00:35:31,361
WELL, IF IT'S
TO WISH ME LUCK...
520
00:35:31,362 --> 00:35:33,530
IT'S TO MAKE YOU AN OFFER.
521
00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:36,633
THANKS, CRYSTAL,
BUT SOME OTHER TIME.
522
00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:39,069
CALAMANDER AND THE OTHERS
ARE WAITING FOR YOU
523
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:41,705
TO COME OUT OF THE CONDUIT,
READY TO BLAST YOU.
524
00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:44,074
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW.
525
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:47,577
THAT KIND OF GOSSIP
DOES INTEREST ME,
526
00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:50,480
BUT IF THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
OUT OF THE CONDUIT--
527
00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:51,815
THERE ISN'T.
528
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,718
FIRST,
TELL ME WE'RE PARTNERS.
529
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,187
YOU'RE PREPARED TO BELIEVE ME
IF I SAY WE ARE?
530
00:35:57,188 --> 00:36:00,090
YOU CAN'T TRUST ME.
NO ONE CAN.
531
00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:03,560
BUT I HAVE A FEELING
I CAN TRUST YOU.
532
00:36:03,561 --> 00:36:06,196
I'LL GIVE YOU HALF
OF EVERYTHING I MAKE
533
00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:07,430
ON THIS DEAL.
534
00:36:07,431 --> 00:36:11,001
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
NOW, LISTEN.
535
00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:14,838
I OVERHEARD CALAMANDER
TALKING ABOUT A DOOR
536
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:17,173
IN THE MAIN LABORATORY.
537
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:19,943
IT LEADS TO ANOTHER EXIT,
A CAVE, AND IT'S UNGUARDED.
538
00:36:19,944 --> 00:36:22,579
THANKS, CRYSTAL. I'LL MAKE
A POINT OF FINDING IT.
539
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:25,081
YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME.
I'M ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE.
540
00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:27,118
UH...
541
00:39:03,974 --> 00:39:05,041
YES?
542
00:39:05,042 --> 00:39:07,043
OUT OF MY WAY, SONNY.
543
00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:08,745
HOLD IT, POP.
544
00:39:08,746 --> 00:39:11,247
ARE YOU DEFYING THE
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT?
545
00:39:11,248 --> 00:39:12,749
OF COURSE NOT, OLD MAN,
546
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:15,585
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST COME
BARGING IN HERE LIKE THAT.
547
00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:17,120
I CAN'T, HUH?
548
00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:19,556
YOU EVER HEAR
OF THE POST OFFICE MOTTO?
549
00:39:19,557 --> 00:39:22,525
"NEITHER SNOW NOR SLEET
NOR DARK OF NIGHT
550
00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:26,196
"SHALL STAY THESE COURIERS
FROM THEIR SWIFT COMPLETION
551
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,764
OF THEIR APPOINTED ROUNDS."
552
00:39:27,765 --> 00:39:29,699
NOW, I GOT
A PACKAGE TO DELIVER.
553
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,768
UNH-UNH.
I'LL TAKE THAT.
554
00:39:31,769 --> 00:39:34,604
NOT ON YOUR TINTYPE,
YOU DON'T.
555
00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:38,541
THERE'S 17 CENTS POSTAGE DUE
COMING TO THE DEPARTMENT.
556
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,813
TRIED TO GET BY
WITHOUT PAYING THAT--
557
00:39:43,814 --> 00:39:45,415
WHAT IS THAT? A QUARTER?
558
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:46,983
UH-HUH.
559
00:39:46,984 --> 00:39:49,486
I AIN'T NO BANK, SONNY.
I DON'T CHANGE NO CURRENCY.
560
00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:51,588
WELL, KEEP
THE REST OF IT THEN.
561
00:39:51,589 --> 00:39:55,992
ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE
A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE?
562
00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:59,062
HOLD ON
ONE DAG-BURNED MINUTE!
563
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:01,331
THAT'S 17 CENTS...EVEN!
564
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,768
ALL RIGHT, POP. FOLLOW ME.
565
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:08,404
ALL I WANT IS THE MONEY
COMING TO THE DEPARTMENT.
566
00:40:08,405 --> 00:40:11,008
I DON'T WANT
NOTHING BESIDES...
567
00:40:40,504 --> 00:40:44,774
THERE YOU ARE, OLD MAN.
17 CENTS.
568
00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:48,378
THERE.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
569
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:51,248
YOU GOT TO SIGN FOR IT.
570
00:40:54,718 --> 00:40:57,287
YOU THIS HERE "INIGO GOLEM"?
571
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,789
NO, BUT I'LL SIGN FOR HIM.
572
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:03,360
FEDERAL OFFENSE.
FORGING AND FALSIFYING.
573
00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:53,463
IDIOTS! DEAF, DUMB,
AND BLIND IDIOTS!
574
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:56,132
DISTINCTLY
I HEAR AN EXPLOSION,
575
00:43:56,133 --> 00:43:59,535
AND YOU STAND THERE AND SAY
YOU HEARD NOTHING?
576
00:43:59,536 --> 00:44:02,071
MAYBE ONE
OF THE STEAM PUMPS.
577
00:44:02,072 --> 00:44:05,074
DOLT! I TELL YOU
IT WAS AN EXPLOSION,
578
00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:07,410
NOT A STEAM PUMP.
579
00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:10,581
GET THAT MAN!
580
00:44:25,429 --> 00:44:27,998
GUARDS, GET THIS MAN!
581
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:44,113
HOLD IT, JIM. THIS WAY.
582
00:44:44,114 --> 00:44:45,948
ACCORDING TO
A DIAGRAM I SAW,
583
00:44:45,949 --> 00:44:48,351
THERE'S A DOOR TO A CAVE
LEADING OUT OF HERE
584
00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:49,452
RIGHT ABOUT HERE.
585
00:44:49,453 --> 00:44:51,854
IT GIVES OUT RIGHT HERE.
586
00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:53,756
I HOPE YOU'VE GOT
587
00:44:53,757 --> 00:44:56,793
SOMETHING IN YOUR BAG,
DOCTOR.
588
00:44:56,794 --> 00:44:58,361
OF COURSE.
589
00:44:58,362 --> 00:45:01,165
CARE TO WATCH
THE OPERATION?
590
00:45:52,149 --> 00:45:54,984
WHAT DO YOU GOT
IN THERE, JIM?
591
00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:58,788
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
THE HAND OF SAINT STEPHEN
592
00:45:58,789 --> 00:46:00,456
FOR CALAMANDER.
593
00:46:00,457 --> 00:46:02,825
CALAMANDER?
IT'S A VIAL OF KILESIUM.
594
00:46:02,826 --> 00:46:05,628
THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TEMPERATURE PROBLEMS.
595
00:46:05,629 --> 00:46:07,497
WE'VE GOT TO
GET RID OF THAT
596
00:46:07,498 --> 00:46:09,832
WITHOUT JEOPARDIZING
ANYBODY ELSE.
597
00:46:09,833 --> 00:46:12,268
ARTIE, THEN THIS PLACE
WAS MADE TO ORDER.
598
00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:13,170
COME ON.
599
00:46:15,906 --> 00:46:18,541
I'LL TAKE THE HAND,
MR. WEST.
600
00:46:18,542 --> 00:46:21,010
SHALL WE CALL IT
BY ITS RIGHT NAME?
601
00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:23,779
KILESIUM, THEN.
602
00:46:23,780 --> 00:46:25,648
WE HAD TO ABANDON IT.
603
00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:29,785
THERE WAS THE SMALL PROBLEM
OF RISING TEMPERATURES.
604
00:46:29,786 --> 00:46:34,490
MR. WEST, I HAVE DREAMED
TOO MANY DREAMS
605
00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:36,459
TO GIVE UP NOW.
606
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:38,528
I WANT THAT VIAL!
607
00:46:38,529 --> 00:46:40,796
RAYMOND, MOKE--
608
00:46:40,797 --> 00:46:45,668
KEEP AN EYE ON OUR GUESTS
UNTIL I RETURN.
609
00:46:45,669 --> 00:46:47,670
GENTLEMEN, I PROMISE YOU,
610
00:46:47,671 --> 00:46:51,140
IF I HAVE ANY DIFFICULTY
LOCATING THAT KILESIUM,
611
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:54,544
I SHALL RETURN WITH SOME
VERY INTERESTING METHODS
612
00:46:54,545 --> 00:46:57,246
FOR MAKING YOU
MORE COMMUNICATIVE.
613
00:46:57,247 --> 00:46:59,081
MR. CALAMANDER,
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
614
00:46:59,082 --> 00:47:01,184
IF I WERE TO TELL YOU
THERE'S VERY GREAT DANGER
615
00:47:01,185 --> 00:47:03,219
GOING BACK IN THERE
AFTER THAT KILESIUM?
616
00:47:03,220 --> 00:47:07,156
ONE WOULD BE
IRRESISTIBLY INCLINED
617
00:47:07,157 --> 00:47:09,293
TO DOUBT YOU, SIR.
618
00:48:14,324 --> 00:48:17,561
MOKE, GIVE THEM A HAND!
619
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:47,323
THUS, GENTLEMEN,
I AM HAPPY TO SAY
620
00:48:47,324 --> 00:48:50,126
THAT MR. WEST HAS BEEN
REINSTATED IN THE SERVICE,
621
00:48:50,127 --> 00:48:53,195
WITH A SPECIAL COMMENDATION
FROM PRESIDENT GRANT HIMSELF
622
00:48:53,196 --> 00:48:55,498
FOR HIS MERITORIOUS
AND SELFLESS--
623
00:48:55,499 --> 00:48:58,768
EXCUSE ME, COLONEL.
WHAT ABOUT THE KILESIUM?
624
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:00,336
OH. UH, WELL, YES.
625
00:49:00,337 --> 00:49:03,439
UM, UH...WHY DON'T YOU
TELL HIM ABOUT IT?
626
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,508
WELL, WE DYNAMITED THE CAVE
627
00:49:05,509 --> 00:49:08,444
AND SEALED THE GAS OFF
PERMANENTLY.
628
00:49:08,445 --> 00:49:11,180
NO POSSIBILITY
OF IT EVER ESCAPING.
629
00:49:11,181 --> 00:49:14,050
NOW, GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
630
00:49:14,051 --> 00:49:17,720
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SHARING
A DINNER ENGAGEMENT
631
00:49:17,721 --> 00:49:20,724
WITH A VERY CHARMING
YOUNG LADY.
632
00:49:37,541 --> 00:49:41,410
{\an8}- CAPTIONS BY VITAC--
BURBANK, PITTSBURGH, WASHINGTON
633
00:49:41,411 --> 00:49:44,948
{\an8}CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
PARAMOUNT DOMESTIC TELEVISION
46322
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