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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:43,821 [â– â– ] 2 00:00:44,488 --> 00:00:44,989 >>AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD 3 00:00:45,781 --> 00:00:46,991 NEVER LET GUNK BUILD UP ON YOUR 4 00:00:47,533 --> 00:00:52,204 PLATES. THE END. 5 00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:53,164 >>OH, READ US ANOTHER ONE, 6 00:00:53,789 --> 00:00:53,956 GRANDPA. 7 00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:55,040 >>YEAH, A GOOD ONE THIS TIME. 8 00:00:55,791 --> 00:00:56,250 >>WELL, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE 9 00:00:56,917 --> 00:00:58,294 STORY OF "MR. RABBIT'S VERY 10 00:00:58,752 --> 00:00:59,211 CLEAN PLATE"? 11 00:00:59,962 --> 00:01:00,337 >>JUST FEEL LIKE I GOT IT RIGHT 12 00:01:00,671 --> 00:01:01,255 AWAY. 13 00:01:01,922 --> 00:01:02,423 >>YOUR BROTHER LIKED IT. 14 00:01:03,132 --> 00:01:03,549 >>I LIKE BUNNIES DRESSED AS 15 00:01:03,883 --> 00:01:04,884 PEOPLE. 16 00:01:05,342 --> 00:01:07,803 >>YOU WOULD. 17 00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:08,721 WELL, IT HAD A PRETTY SWEET 18 00:01:09,054 --> 00:01:09,305 MORAL. 19 00:01:10,055 --> 00:01:10,347 >>THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CLEAN 20 00:01:10,764 --> 00:01:11,307 YOUR PLATE? 21 00:01:12,057 --> 00:01:13,934 >>YEAH. KEEP YOUR PLATES CLEAN. 22 00:01:14,393 --> 00:01:14,852 >>I GUESS SO. 23 00:01:15,561 --> 00:01:15,853 >>WELL, THIS BOOK'S FULL OF 24 00:01:16,478 --> 00:01:17,188 GREAT TALES LIKE THAT. 25 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:19,190 "MR. BADGER'S DIRTY LAUNDRY", 26 00:01:20,024 --> 00:01:21,066 "GARY THE BEAR'S MESSY, 27 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,526 MESSY CAVE", 28 00:01:23,277 --> 00:01:25,946 "CYNTHIA MINNOW'S SLOPPY POND". 29 00:01:26,572 --> 00:01:28,324 >>WHAT'S THIS BOOK ABOUT? 30 00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:30,326 >>OH... RIGHT THERE IS A VERY 31 00:01:30,993 --> 00:01:33,579 SPECIAL BOOK. BUT YOU TWO 32 00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:35,039 WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN THAT. 33 00:01:35,664 --> 00:01:37,374 >>WHY? WH-WHAT IS IT? 34 00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:39,668 >>THAT BOOK RIGHT THERE IS THE 35 00:01:40,294 --> 00:01:43,923 "TOME OF ALL STORIES". 36 00:01:44,548 --> 00:01:46,550 EVERY YARN EVER SPUN IS 37 00:01:47,218 --> 00:01:47,968 CONTAINED IN THOSE PAGES. 38 00:01:48,552 --> 00:01:49,261 >>DOES IT HAVE MAGIC? 39 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:50,095 >>AND ROMANCE? 40 00:01:50,596 --> 00:01:51,388 >>AND A GUN? 41 00:01:52,056 --> 00:01:52,598 >>YES, IT HAS ALL OF THOSE 42 00:01:53,349 --> 00:01:59,605 THINGS. LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT IT. 43 00:02:00,105 --> 00:02:02,441 LET'S START HERE. 44 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,735 "THERE WAS ONCE A PARTY; 45 00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:06,654 A VERY CIVILIZED PARTY." 46 00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:08,113 >>YES! 47 00:02:08,572 --> 00:02:10,324 >>REALLY? 48 00:02:10,991 --> 00:02:11,742 >>"AND THE FOG WAS ROLLING 49 00:02:12,451 --> 00:02:14,078 THICK ON THE CARSTON MANOR. A 50 00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:16,080 GROUP OF FRIENDS HAD GATHERED 51 00:02:16,872 --> 00:02:19,083 FOR A VERY SPECIAL OCCASION, ONE 52 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,752 OF THEM WAS GETTING MARRIED." 53 00:02:22,169 --> 00:02:22,795 (CLAPPING) 54 00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:26,340 >>WHOA. WOW. THANK YOU, FRIENDS 55 00:02:27,091 --> 00:02:28,259 FOR BEING HERE ON MY LAST NIGHT 56 00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:31,303 AS A SINGLE MAN. I'M EXCITED AND 57 00:02:32,054 --> 00:02:33,806 HONOURED TO HAVE YOU JOIN ME FOR 58 00:02:34,265 --> 00:02:35,140 MY STAG PARTY. 59 00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:37,518 (CLAPPING) 60 00:02:37,935 --> 00:02:39,520 (COMMOTION) 61 00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:40,729 >>WHAT HAPPENED? 62 00:02:41,397 --> 00:02:41,772 >>SOMEBODY GET THE LIGHTS? 63 00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:44,441 >>ALL RIGHT. 64 00:02:44,942 --> 00:02:52,116 >>NOBODY MOVE. 65 00:02:52,783 --> 00:02:58,330 STANLEY'S BEEN MURDERED. 66 00:02:58,956 --> 00:02:59,164 THE FIRST THING WE MUST 67 00:02:59,915 --> 00:03:01,125 DETERMINE IS WHAT WEAPON WAS 68 00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:01,750 USED TO COMMIT-- 69 00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:04,044 >>IT WAS A KNIFE. 70 00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:07,464 >>AH, A CLUE. A KNIFE, GOOD. 71 00:03:07,881 --> 00:03:09,300 WELL DONE. 72 00:03:09,883 --> 00:03:10,009 >>THANK YOU. 73 00:03:10,718 --> 00:03:11,677 >>BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY, 74 00:03:12,428 --> 00:03:13,137 THE MURDER MUST HAVE BEEN ONE 75 00:03:13,679 --> 00:03:15,014 OF THE PEOPLE IN-- 76 00:03:15,556 --> 00:03:17,099 >>OH, IT WAS ME. 77 00:03:17,558 --> 00:03:18,100 >>I'M SORRY? 78 00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:18,934 "IT WAS ME". 79 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:20,311 >>YOU MURDERED HIM? 80 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:21,395 >>YEAH, THAT'S WHY I HAD THE 81 00:03:21,729 --> 00:03:22,688 KNIFE. 82 00:03:23,105 --> 00:03:25,566 >>UH, WHY? 83 00:03:25,899 --> 00:03:26,525 >>WHY? 84 00:03:27,276 --> 00:03:28,360 >>YEAH, WHY DID YOU MURDER HIM? 85 00:03:29,028 --> 00:03:30,696 >>DID YOU GET BACK TO ME? 86 00:03:31,322 --> 00:03:33,699 >>YOU MURDERED A GUY-- 87 00:03:34,366 --> 00:03:36,994 WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR BACK? 88 00:03:37,745 --> 00:03:38,037 IS THAT A KNIFE STICKING OUT OF 89 00:03:38,454 --> 00:03:38,495 YOUR BACK? 90 00:03:38,704 --> 00:03:39,371 >>AH, YEAH, IT IS! 91 00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:40,205 >>WHO STABBED YOU? 92 00:03:40,873 --> 00:03:41,040 >>YEAH, WHO STABBED ME? 93 00:03:41,623 --> 00:03:44,543 >>WHO STABBED BARRY? 94 00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:46,378 YOU STABBED HIM, BELINDA? 95 00:03:46,962 --> 00:03:49,006 WHY? YOU DON'T KNOW. 96 00:03:49,548 --> 00:03:50,341 WHY WOULD YOU KNOW? 97 00:03:51,258 --> 00:03:51,342 DID ANYONE ELSE GET STABBED 98 00:03:52,217 --> 00:03:52,343 WHILE THE LIGHTS WERE OUT FOR 99 00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:53,093 4 SECONDS? 100 00:03:53,552 --> 00:03:53,802 >>RIGHT HERE. 101 00:03:54,178 --> 00:03:54,345 >>KEVIN? 102 00:03:55,137 --> 00:04:01,560 OKAY, WHO STABBED KEVIN? 103 00:04:02,144 --> 00:04:04,229 >>I STABBED MYSELF. 104 00:04:04,938 --> 00:04:06,357 >>WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED, 105 00:04:06,857 --> 00:04:06,982 YOU IDIOT. 106 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:07,941 >>LET'S JUST CALM DOWN FOR A 107 00:04:08,609 --> 00:04:09,234 SECOND, OKAY, CLARK, YOU'RE 108 00:04:09,818 --> 00:04:10,611 DOIN' A GREAT JOB. 109 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:11,612 >>HMM, YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE 110 00:04:12,112 --> 00:04:12,404 DOING WONDERFUL. 111 00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:13,489 >>SHUT UP, MAVIS. 112 00:04:14,239 --> 00:04:14,573 >>ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST FIND 113 00:04:15,324 --> 00:04:16,658 OUT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, ALL 114 00:04:17,409 --> 00:04:18,410 RIGHT? SO, CLARK, I'M GOING TO 115 00:04:19,161 --> 00:04:20,371 TAKE THAT KNIFE, OKAY, I'M GOING 116 00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:21,872 TO TAKE IT. SO MAVIS, WOULD YOU 117 00:04:22,456 --> 00:04:22,790 LIKE TO PLAY STANLEY? 118 00:04:23,415 --> 00:04:23,957 >>OH, A LITTLE ROLE-PLAY. 119 00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:25,626 HA-HA. 120 00:04:26,377 --> 00:04:27,795 >>THE LIGHTS WENT OUT, THEN I 121 00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:29,713 TOOK OUT MY KNIFE. AND THEN I 122 00:04:30,214 --> 00:04:31,215 JUST KIND OF... 123 00:04:31,965 --> 00:04:32,132 >>NO, MAVIS, STEP AWAY, DO NOT 124 00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:33,634 WALK TOWARDS THE KNIFE, MAVIS. 125 00:04:33,926 --> 00:04:34,593 NO! 126 00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:35,636 >>KEPT GOING IN... AND THEN 127 00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:36,512 STABBED HIM. 128 00:04:37,179 --> 00:04:37,471 >>NO, MAVIS! WHAT ARE YOU 129 00:04:37,805 --> 00:04:39,264 DOING? 130 00:04:39,765 --> 00:04:40,474 >>IT'S SOLVED. 131 00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:42,393 >>WHY WOULD YOU-- KEVIN, NO, 132 00:04:42,976 --> 00:04:43,268 KEVIN! 133 00:04:44,019 --> 00:04:45,229 >>I GUESS I'M BEING AN IDIOT. 134 00:04:46,021 --> 00:04:50,025 >>OH, MY GOD! EVERYONE STOP! 135 00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:51,944 YOU'VE BEEN AWFUL QUIET TONIGHT. 136 00:04:52,694 --> 00:04:54,822 YOU HIDING SOMETHING? NO. OF 137 00:04:55,531 --> 00:04:56,115 COURSE THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I 138 00:04:56,865 --> 00:05:00,244 SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. YEAH, THERE 139 00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:03,789 IT IS. LITTLE DAGGER. AND WHAT 140 00:05:04,498 --> 00:05:05,082 BETTER NIGHT TO BRING IT OUT 141 00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:06,250 THAN ON A NIGHT WHEN EVERYONE 142 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:07,251 GETS STABBED. MAVIS IS DEAD, 143 00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:08,961 NOW, KEVIN IS DEAD. COOL. THIS 144 00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:10,129 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPECIAL 145 00:05:10,838 --> 00:05:11,505 NIGHT FOR STANLEY, NOW HE'S 146 00:05:12,214 --> 00:05:12,756 DEAD. I EVEN RENTED HIM A FUN 147 00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:14,925 TRAINED STAG AS A JOKE. 148 00:05:15,426 --> 00:05:16,927 (DEER GAGGING) 149 00:05:17,678 --> 00:05:18,846 >>WHY IS IT MAKING THAT SOUND? 150 00:05:19,304 --> 00:05:20,806 (DEER GAGGING) 151 00:05:21,557 --> 00:05:22,224 >>WE FED HIM SOME... (MUMBLES) 152 00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:24,184 >>YOU FED HIM WHAT? 153 00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:25,769 >>WE FED HIM SOME... (MUMBLES) 154 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,271 >>YEAH, ADD VOLUME TO THE WORD 155 00:05:28,021 --> 00:05:28,480 YOU'RE SAYING AT THE END, THERE. 156 00:05:29,189 --> 00:05:29,690 >>WE FED HIM SOME DAGGERS. 157 00:05:30,357 --> 00:05:31,066 >>YOU FED HIM SOME DAGGERS. 158 00:05:31,984 --> 00:05:32,568 >>YOU TWO STAY RIGHT THERE, 159 00:05:33,318 --> 00:05:33,819 'CAUSE I'M CALLIN' THE POLICE. 160 00:05:34,486 --> 00:05:35,279 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO 161 00:05:36,071 --> 00:05:36,947 CHECK THIS OUT FIRST. BECAUSE I 162 00:05:37,698 --> 00:05:39,533 HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT 163 00:05:40,159 --> 00:05:42,453 YEAH, OKAY, THAT'S WHAT 164 00:05:43,036 --> 00:05:45,289 I THOUGHT. 165 00:05:45,956 --> 00:05:47,458 WHO STABBED THE STRIPPER? 166 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,169 (DEER GAGGING) 167 00:05:50,502 --> 00:05:52,880 >>WHAT? 168 00:05:53,505 --> 00:05:54,965 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 169 00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:56,258 >>WAIT, STOP. 170 00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:57,468 >>YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE STABBY 171 00:05:58,177 --> 00:05:59,178 MURDER MYSTERY? 172 00:05:59,511 --> 00:06:01,972 >>NO! 173 00:06:02,681 --> 00:06:05,142 >>BIG SOFTY. ALL RIGHT, FINE, 174 00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:07,227 LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE. THIS 175 00:06:07,811 --> 00:06:12,149 ONE'S ABOUT BURGERS. 176 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,735 >>ONE BURGER AND FRIES, PLEASE. 177 00:06:15,235 --> 00:06:16,528 WOW! THAT'S FAST! 178 00:06:17,196 --> 00:06:17,988 >>YOU THINK THAT'S FAST, 179 00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:19,323 YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT NICK JAYS. 180 00:06:20,073 --> 00:06:20,991 >>NICK JAYS FOOD IS SO FAST, 181 00:06:21,742 --> 00:06:22,201 YOU'LL ACTUALLY MEET YOURSELF 182 00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:23,327 COMING TO ORDER THE FOOD THAT 183 00:06:23,911 --> 00:06:24,870 YOU JUST ORDERED; 184 00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:26,663 IT'S THAT FAST. 185 00:06:27,331 --> 00:06:27,831 >>HI, CAN I? OOH THANKS, 186 00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:30,209 THAT'S FAST! 187 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:31,585 >>YEAH, I WAS GOING TO GET 188 00:06:31,919 --> 00:06:32,377 SOME-- 189 00:06:32,878 --> 00:06:33,003 >>NICK JAYS? 190 00:06:33,378 --> 00:06:33,420 >>YEAH. 191 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:34,046 >>HERE YOU GO. 192 00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:34,713 >>THANKS. 193 00:06:35,214 --> 00:06:35,506 >>THAT'S FAST. 194 00:06:36,465 --> 00:06:36,548 >>NOW THERE'S TWO OF US IN THE 195 00:06:36,924 --> 00:06:37,216 UNIVERSE. 196 00:06:37,799 --> 00:06:38,050 >>CAN'T HAVE THAT. 197 00:06:38,383 --> 00:06:38,675 >>WHAT? 198 00:06:39,051 --> 00:06:39,301 >>SEE YA. 199 00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:40,385 >>OH GEEZ-- NO-NO-NO! 200 00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:41,011 (GUN SHOT) 201 00:06:41,678 --> 00:06:42,262 >>OH, MY GOD, OH MY GOD! 202 00:06:42,679 --> 00:06:42,721 OH, MY GOD! 203 00:06:43,096 --> 00:06:43,180 >>HEY! 204 00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:43,889 >>YOU'RE ME. 205 00:06:44,556 --> 00:06:44,806 >>YEAH, I WAS GOING TO GET 206 00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:45,516 SOME-- 207 00:06:46,183 --> 00:06:46,225 >>NICK JAYS? 208 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:46,850 >>YEAH. 209 00:06:47,351 --> 00:06:47,518 >>HERE YOU GO. 210 00:06:48,101 --> 00:06:48,185 >>THANKS! 211 00:06:48,936 --> 00:06:49,269 >>THAT'S FAST. NOW THERE'S TWO 212 00:06:49,895 --> 00:06:54,274 OF US IN THE UNIVERSE. 213 00:06:55,025 --> 00:06:55,067 >>I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF. 214 00:06:55,776 --> 00:06:55,817 >>YOU GOT TO KILL YOURSELF. 215 00:06:56,485 --> 00:06:56,527 >>WELL, I DON'T WANT TO KILL 216 00:06:56,944 --> 00:06:56,985 MYSELF. 217 00:06:57,611 --> 00:06:57,653 >>YOU HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF. 218 00:06:58,028 --> 00:06:58,070 >>I'M NOT KILLING MYSELF. 219 00:06:58,403 --> 00:06:58,529 >>HEY! 220 00:06:59,029 --> 00:06:59,071 >>YOU'RE ME. 221 00:06:59,655 --> 00:06:59,988 >>YEAH. I WAS JUST GOING TO GET 222 00:07:00,364 --> 00:07:00,405 SOME-- 223 00:07:00,656 --> 00:07:00,697 >>NICK JAYS. 224 00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:01,114 >>YEAH. 225 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:01,280 >>HERE YOU GO. 226 00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:01,532 >>THANKS! 227 00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:02,407 >>THAT'S FAST. 228 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:03,242 >>NOW THERE'S TWO OF US IN THE 229 00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:03,534 UNIVERSE. 230 00:07:04,451 --> 00:07:04,493 >>ACTUALLY, THERE'S THREE, 231 00:07:04,993 --> 00:07:05,244 THIS GUY WON'T KILL HIMSELF. 232 00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:06,537 >>WHAT? KILL YOURSELF, MAN. 233 00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:07,538 >>I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF. 234 00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:08,539 >>YOU'VE GOT TO KILL YOURSELF. 235 00:07:09,164 --> 00:07:09,205 TAKE THE GUN, PUT IT IN YOUR 236 00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:09,540 MOUTH! 237 00:07:10,249 --> 00:07:10,289 >>I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT, 238 00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:10,457 OKAY? 239 00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:11,291 >>HEY, YOU'RE ME! 240 00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:12,543 I WAS JUST-- WHAT THE F--- IS 241 00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:13,210 GOING ON? 242 00:07:13,961 --> 00:07:15,128 >>I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF! 243 00:07:15,837 --> 00:07:15,879 >>TAKE THE GUN AND PUT IT IN 244 00:07:16,255 --> 00:07:16,338 YOUR MOUTH. 245 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:16,672 >>NO! 246 00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:17,339 >>YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE. 247 00:07:17,756 --> 00:07:18,215 >>DUDE, WOULD YOU KILL 248 00:07:18,632 --> 00:07:18,799 YOURSELF? 249 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:20,092 >>YOU KNOW WHAT? F---ING 250 00:07:20,592 --> 00:07:20,759 KILL YOURSELF! 251 00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:21,552 >>WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 252 00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:22,135 (GUN SHOTS) 253 00:07:22,886 --> 00:07:23,762 >>F--- YOU, F--- YOU, F--- YOU! 254 00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,391 [â– â– ] 255 00:07:27,849 --> 00:07:28,642 â– NICK JAYSâ–  256 00:07:29,393 --> 00:07:30,352 â– IT'S TEMPORAL PARADOX FASTâ–  257 00:07:31,019 --> 00:07:31,270 â– IT'S SO FAST THAT WHEN YOU 258 00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:32,563 ORDER YOUR FOOD AT NICK JAYSâ–  259 00:07:33,313 --> 00:07:33,397 â– ON THE WAY OUT OF THE 260 00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:34,106 RESTAURANTâ–  261 00:07:34,815 --> 00:07:35,148 â– YOU'LL MEET YOURSELF COMING 262 00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:36,108 TO ORDER THE FOODâ–  263 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:36,858 â– YOU JUST ORDEREDâ–  264 00:07:37,276 --> 00:07:38,026 â– NICK JAYSâ–  265 00:07:38,485 --> 00:07:38,694 â– DON'T FORGET 266 00:07:39,194 --> 00:07:40,571 TO KILL YOURSELFâ–  267 00:07:41,738 --> 00:07:43,031 TO KILL YOURSELFâ–  268 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:43,574 â– DON'T FORGET 269 00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:44,408 TO KILL YOURSELFâ–  270 00:07:45,158 --> 00:07:45,409 â– KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, 271 00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:46,577 KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELFâ–  272 00:07:47,202 --> 00:07:48,412 â– KILL YOURSELFâ–  273 00:07:49,079 --> 00:07:51,248 >>THAT WASN'T A STORY. 274 00:07:51,748 --> 00:07:52,416 >>SURE IT WAS. 275 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:53,375 >>NO, THAT WAS AN AD FOR 276 00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:54,418 BURGERS. 277 00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:55,377 >>HMM? 278 00:07:56,044 --> 00:07:56,878 >>YEAH. AND I DON'T SEE HOW 279 00:07:57,629 --> 00:07:58,714 THAT WOULD SELL ANYTHING EITHER. 280 00:07:59,381 --> 00:07:59,965 >>THERE YOU GO, IT WAS THE 281 00:08:00,632 --> 00:08:02,259 STORY OF AN UNSUCCESSFUL 282 00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:05,596 ADVERTISEMENT. 283 00:08:06,471 --> 00:08:07,306 PICNICFACE IS THE TOME OF ALL 284 00:08:07,681 --> 00:08:07,889 STORIES. 285 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,308 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE 286 00:08:21,278 --> 00:08:22,738 [â– â– ] 287 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:24,114 >>OH, ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE. 288 00:08:24,865 --> 00:08:25,532 I'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE HERE THAT 289 00:08:26,325 --> 00:08:27,743 YOU'LL BOTH ENJOY; IT'S A STORY 290 00:08:28,201 --> 00:08:29,077 ABOUT PANTS. 291 00:08:29,453 --> 00:08:29,870 >>PANTS? 292 00:08:30,287 --> 00:08:30,912 >>PANTS! 293 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,456 >>ARE THEY DANGEROUS PANTS? 294 00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:34,082 >>NO, THEY'RE-- YOU'RE SUCH A-- 295 00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:36,293 NO, JU-- PANTS, OKAY? TAKE IT OR 296 00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:37,628 LEAVE IT. GOING ONCE, GOING 297 00:08:38,045 --> 00:08:38,086 TWICE... 298 00:08:38,629 --> 00:08:38,670 >>OKAY, WE'LL TAKE IT, 299 00:08:39,338 --> 00:08:39,630 WE'LL TAKE THE PANTS STORY. 300 00:08:40,213 --> 00:08:40,631 >>ALL RIGHT, SOLD! 301 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:44,509 YOU'LL GET YOUR PANTS STORY. 302 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:45,636 THIS STORY TAKES PLACE IN AN 303 00:08:46,219 --> 00:08:46,928 APARTMENT. 304 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:48,138 >>HOW IS IT, LIKE AN ENCHANTED 305 00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:49,264 APARTMENT OR ANYTHING? 306 00:08:50,015 --> 00:08:51,600 >>IT'S JUST A NORMAL APARTMENT, 307 00:08:52,184 --> 00:08:53,268 YES. CAN I BEGIN? 308 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:56,480 CAN I PLEASE BEGIN? 309 00:08:57,189 --> 00:08:58,482 THERE WAS A BUNCH OF DUDES 310 00:08:59,232 --> 00:09:00,484 HANGING OUT IN AN APARTMENT, 311 00:09:01,276 --> 00:09:02,653 HAVING A VERY CIVIL DISCUSSION 312 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,613 ABOUT PANTS. 313 00:09:05,364 --> 00:09:05,656 >>OH, I GOT ONE. ONE TIME, MY 314 00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:07,407 GIRLFRIEND ASKED ME IF HER PANTS 315 00:09:07,991 --> 00:09:09,326 MADE HER LOOK FAT... 316 00:09:09,868 --> 00:09:10,577 >>WHAT DID YOU SAY? 317 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,371 >>I SAID "NO", BUT WHAT I REALLY 318 00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:14,206 MEANT WAS "SORT OF". 319 00:09:14,623 --> 00:09:15,624 (LAUGHING) 320 00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:16,583 >>NICE! 321 00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:17,501 >>OOH! 322 00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:18,585 (LAUGHING) 323 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,045 >>NICE! 324 00:09:20,462 --> 00:09:20,879 >>OH, YEAH. 325 00:09:21,213 --> 00:09:24,091 >>YES! 326 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:25,384 >>OH, I REMEMBER HER LOOKING 327 00:09:26,093 --> 00:09:27,010 SORT OF FAT IN THOSE PANTS. 328 00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:28,136 >>THAT WAS A SHAME, BECAUSE 329 00:09:28,762 --> 00:09:29,262 THOSE WERE NICE PANTS. 330 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:30,389 >>THOSE WERE NICE PANTS. 331 00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:31,139 >>THIS ONE TIME I WAS SEEING 332 00:09:31,848 --> 00:09:32,683 THIS GIRL, RIGHT? AND I TOLD HER 333 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:33,809 THAT I WAS REALLY INTO HER, BUT 334 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:34,893 I REALLY WASN'T INTO HER, I JUST 335 00:09:35,644 --> 00:09:35,894 LIED TO HER SO THAT I COULD GET 336 00:09:36,353 --> 00:09:42,275 INTO HER PANTS. 337 00:09:42,984 --> 00:09:43,110 AND THEN AFTER I BORROWED HER 338 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,695 PANTS, I F---IN' DUMPED HER. 339 00:09:45,153 --> 00:09:45,654 >>YES! 340 00:09:46,113 --> 00:09:46,655 >>OH, YEAH! 341 00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:49,032 (LAUGHING) 342 00:09:49,491 --> 00:09:50,492 >>WHAT'S UP? 343 00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,703 >>WOW! 344 00:09:53,453 --> 00:09:55,539 >>PRETTY COOL, EH? 345 00:09:56,164 --> 00:09:56,540 ONE OF THESE, YUP. 346 00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:58,709 >>WHERE DID YOU PICK UP THOSE? 347 00:09:59,584 --> 00:10:00,711 >>UH, YOU KNOW, I GUILTED MY 348 00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:01,712 GIRLFRIEND OUT OF THEM. 349 00:10:02,421 --> 00:10:03,004 >>YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. 350 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:04,631 >>THOSE ARE NICE PANTS. 351 00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:05,716 >>I LOVE LADIES' PANTS. 352 00:10:06,258 --> 00:10:06,508 >>PANTS. 353 00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:06,925 >>PANTS. 354 00:10:07,342 --> 00:10:07,592 >>PANTS. 355 00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:08,051 >>PANTS. 356 00:10:08,427 --> 00:10:08,719 >>PANTS. 357 00:10:09,469 --> 00:10:10,053 â– I LIKE LADIES PANTS, YES!â–  358 00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:11,722 â– I LIKE LADIES PANTSâ–  359 00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:13,598 â– I LIKE LADIES PANTS, YES!â–  360 00:10:14,224 --> 00:10:15,559 â– I LIKE LADIES PANTSâ–  361 00:10:16,184 --> 00:10:17,519 â– DO YOU WANT MY PANTS?â–  362 00:10:18,103 --> 00:10:18,729 â– OH YES, I DO GIRL!â–  363 00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:20,731 â– DO YOU WANT MY PANTS?â–  364 00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:22,107 â– ON MY LOWER BODâ–  365 00:10:22,858 --> 00:10:26,194 â– DO YOU WANT MY PA-HA-HA-ANTS?â–  366 00:10:29,531 --> 00:10:31,950 [â– â– ] 367 00:10:32,534 --> 00:10:33,744 â– I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU, 368 00:10:34,411 --> 00:10:38,749 MAN AND LADIES PANTSâ–  369 00:10:39,499 --> 00:10:41,126 >>THOSE ARE SOME GREAT PANTS. 370 00:10:41,752 --> 00:10:42,919 â– DO YOU WANT MY PANTS?â–  371 00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:44,546 â– I DON'T WANT DUDE PANTSâ–  372 00:10:45,297 --> 00:10:47,966 â– DO YOU WANT MY PA-HA-HA-ANTS?â–  373 00:10:48,592 --> 00:10:48,759 â– I'M WILLING TO TAKE THEM 374 00:10:49,342 --> 00:10:50,594 BY FORCEâ–  375 00:10:51,344 --> 00:10:51,553 >>I'M GOING TO RIP THOSE PANTS 376 00:10:52,262 --> 00:10:52,554 OFF YOUR BODY GIRL. I'LL TAKE 377 00:10:53,096 --> 00:10:53,597 THEM FOR MYSELF. 378 00:10:54,347 --> 00:10:54,431 >>OKAY, GET HER OUT OF HERE. 379 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:54,973 GRAB HER PANTS. 380 00:10:55,265 --> 00:10:55,599 >>NO! 381 00:10:56,391 --> 00:10:56,600 >>GET THOSE PANTS OFF. IF YOU'RE 382 00:10:57,309 --> 00:10:57,601 SITTING WITH A WOMAN AT HOME, 383 00:10:58,351 --> 00:10:58,727 GRAB THOSE PANTS. WE'RE GETTING 384 00:10:59,478 --> 00:11:00,145 ALL THE PANTS INTO MOVEMENT! 385 00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:09,362 [â– â– ] 386 00:11:10,113 --> 00:11:10,572 >>SO THERE YOU GO, YOU GOT YOUR 387 00:11:11,323 --> 00:11:12,824 PANTS STORY. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 388 00:11:13,575 --> 00:11:14,451 OH, YOU KIDS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING 389 00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:16,328 ABOUT STORIES ANYWAYS, WITH YOUR 390 00:11:17,078 --> 00:11:20,248 VIDEO GAMES AND YOUR TV GAMES. 391 00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,667 BACK IN MY DAY, TELEVISION WAS 392 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,044 CALLED "BOOKS". 393 00:11:24,711 --> 00:11:26,254 >>WHY? THAT'S CONFUSING. 394 00:11:26,963 --> 00:11:27,506 >>YEAH, WOULDN'T BOOKS HAVE 395 00:11:28,089 --> 00:11:28,840 BEEN CALLED "BOOKS". 396 00:11:29,591 --> 00:11:30,008 >>VERY FUNNY. YOU GUYS WANT ME 397 00:11:30,717 --> 00:11:31,301 TO READ ANOTHER BOOK? 'CAUSE 398 00:11:32,052 --> 00:11:32,385 I'VE GOT A GOT A HARDCOVER BACK 399 00:11:33,053 --> 00:11:33,386 HERE, IT'S CALLED "A SWIFT 400 00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:35,847 BEATING WITH A HARD COVER BOOK". 401 00:11:36,348 --> 00:11:37,349 >>SORRY, GRANDPA. 402 00:11:37,974 --> 00:11:39,059 >>THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 403 00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:40,811 NOW, MAY I PROCEED OR WOULD 404 00:11:41,686 --> 00:11:42,521 YOU TWO RATHER DRIVE YOUR 405 00:11:43,271 --> 00:11:46,358 GRANDFATHER TO AN EARLY GRAVE? 406 00:11:46,817 --> 00:11:47,275 >>KEEP GOING. 407 00:11:48,026 --> 00:11:48,151 >>YOU CAN KEEP GOING I GUESS. 408 00:11:48,902 --> 00:11:49,820 >>I NOTICED YOUR HESITATION AND 409 00:11:50,737 --> 00:11:52,113 I DIDN'T LIKE IT. THIS NEXT 410 00:11:52,823 --> 00:11:53,657 STORY BEGINS WITH A GROUP OF 411 00:11:54,449 --> 00:11:56,034 YOUNG DUDES GATHERED AT A PATIO 412 00:11:56,493 --> 00:11:57,869 BAR AND GRILL. 413 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,080 >>HEY, TO MILLER. THE BEST DAMN 414 00:12:00,747 --> 00:12:01,623 FRIEND A GUY COULD ASK FOR. 415 00:12:02,082 --> 00:12:04,835 >>HEAR, HEAR. 416 00:12:05,794 --> 00:12:09,422 >>CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, 417 00:12:10,173 --> 00:12:11,299 CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, 418 00:12:12,008 --> 00:12:12,968 CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, 419 00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:15,262 CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG! 420 00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:16,638 >>YEAH! 421 00:12:17,138 --> 00:12:17,180 >>THAT WAS GREAT. 422 00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:19,432 >>OH, THANKS, I NEEDED THAT. 423 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,977 >>FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT... 424 00:12:22,352 --> 00:12:23,019 >>WHAT? 425 00:12:23,728 --> 00:12:24,896 >>FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, 426 00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:25,730 FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, 427 00:12:26,481 --> 00:12:26,857 >>I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU. 428 00:12:28,441 --> 00:12:29,276 FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! 429 00:12:29,609 --> 00:12:31,361 >>YEAH! 430 00:12:32,112 --> 00:12:34,447 >>SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT, 431 00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:36,366 SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT! 432 00:12:40,287 --> 00:12:45,750 [â– â– ] 433 00:12:46,459 --> 00:12:47,878 >>STOP, WE HAVE TO STOP. 434 00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:49,254 >>OH, WHAT? 435 00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:50,297 >>JUST, IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE 436 00:12:51,047 --> 00:12:51,631 EVERY STORY IN THIS BOOK BEGINS 437 00:12:52,382 --> 00:12:53,425 WITH A GROUP OF YOUNG DUDES. 438 00:12:54,134 --> 00:12:54,885 >>AT LEAST HALF OF THEM IS A 439 00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:56,303 GROUP OF YOUNG DUDES. 440 00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:57,429 >>NOT ONE OF THEM STARTS WITH 441 00:12:58,013 --> 00:12:58,638 "ONCE UPON A TIME"? 442 00:12:59,306 --> 00:12:59,973 >>WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME, A 443 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,600 GROUP OF YOUNG DUDES, ETC, 444 00:13:02,183 --> 00:13:02,601 ETC... IT SAYS IN THE 445 00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:04,519 BIBLIOGRAPHY HERE THAT IT WAS 446 00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:06,521 WRITTEN IN LARGE PART BY A GROUP 447 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:10,525 OF YOUNG DUDES. 448 00:13:11,192 --> 00:13:12,152 >>MORE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG 449 00:13:12,736 --> 00:13:13,904 DUDES WHEN WE RETURN, 450 00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:28,543 [â– â– ] 451 00:13:29,252 --> 00:13:30,295 >>THIS NEXT STORY BEGINS WITH 452 00:13:31,046 --> 00:13:32,631 THREE YOUNG DUDES APPROACHING A 453 00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:33,506 HAUNTED HOUSE. 454 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:34,591 >>ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 455 00:13:35,216 --> 00:13:35,550 >>THE HAUNTED HOUSE WAS 456 00:13:36,259 --> 00:13:36,927 TERRIFYING AND THEY NEEDED TO 457 00:13:37,886 --> 00:13:39,346 HAVE A MEANS TO DECIDE WHO GOES 458 00:13:41,431 --> 00:13:43,725 [â– â– ] 459 00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:45,435 >>HO-HO-HO! 460 00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:46,561 >>I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO 461 00:13:47,228 --> 00:13:48,021 INKY-PINKY-PONKY FOR IT. 462 00:13:48,772 --> 00:13:49,522 >>ALL RIGHT, DO IT UP, MATT. 463 00:13:49,981 --> 00:13:51,149 >>ALL RIGHT. 464 00:13:51,816 --> 00:13:53,985 >>INKY, PINKY, PONKY, DADDY 465 00:13:54,527 --> 00:13:56,154 BOUGHT A DONKEY... 466 00:13:56,613 --> 00:13:57,280 >>WHAT'S UP? 467 00:13:58,031 --> 00:13:58,365 >>DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT BRAD'S 468 00:13:58,698 --> 00:13:59,783 DAD? 469 00:14:00,533 --> 00:14:01,534 >>WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DAD? 470 00:14:02,118 --> 00:14:02,702 >>I DON'T HAVE ONE. 471 00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:05,455 >>HIS DAD LEFT HIM AND HIS MOM. 472 00:14:06,081 --> 00:14:07,832 >>I'M SUPER-SORRY, MAN. 473 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:09,709 >>THANKS, THAT MEANS A LOT. 474 00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,294 >>YOU KNOW, WHAT? JUST HAVE THE 475 00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:13,004 PIZZA. 476 00:14:13,755 --> 00:14:14,214 >>I DON'T WANT TO WIN THE PIZZA 477 00:14:14,631 --> 00:14:15,298 LIKE THAT. 478 00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:17,217 >>YEAH, FOR SURE. UM... 479 00:14:17,884 --> 00:14:18,593 I'LL CHANGE IT TO "MOMMY". 480 00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:19,803 >>I HAVE A MOMMY. 481 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:21,304 >>OKAY. 482 00:14:21,846 --> 00:14:23,181 >>NO WORRIES, OKAY. 483 00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:25,976 >>INKY, PINKY, PONKY, MOMMY 484 00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:29,187 BOUGHT A DONKEY... 485 00:14:29,646 --> 00:14:32,816 >>OH, GOD... 486 00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:35,193 >>DONKEY? DID SOMETHING-- 487 00:14:35,944 --> 00:14:36,736 >>I DON'T HAVE A DONKEY, THANK 488 00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:37,612 YOU VERY MUCH. 489 00:14:38,238 --> 00:14:38,571 >>MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE 490 00:14:38,947 --> 00:14:39,239 DONKEYS. 491 00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:40,323 >>HIS MOM CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY A 492 00:14:40,991 --> 00:14:42,826 DONKEY SINCE HIS DAD LEFT. 493 00:14:43,576 --> 00:14:44,327 >>WE CAN PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME. 494 00:14:44,619 --> 00:14:46,538 >>NO. 495 00:14:47,205 --> 00:14:48,206 >>WE'RE PLAYING THIS GAME. 496 00:14:48,957 --> 00:14:49,332 >>HE DOESN'T WANT YOUR PITY. 497 00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:50,542 OKAY, IF HE'S GOING TO WIN THIS 498 00:14:51,292 --> 00:14:55,588 PIZZA, HE'S GONNA WIN IT FAIRLY. 499 00:14:56,339 --> 00:14:57,882 >>OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I'LL MAKE IT 500 00:14:58,258 --> 00:14:59,551 "FORK". 501 00:14:59,884 --> 00:15:01,094 >>OKAY. 502 00:15:01,553 --> 00:15:03,138 >>OKAY, FORK. 503 00:15:03,513 --> 00:15:04,389 >>GOOD. 504 00:15:05,056 --> 00:15:08,143 >>INKY, PINKY, PONKY, MOMMY 505 00:15:08,643 --> 00:15:09,686 BOUGHT A FORK... 506 00:15:10,145 --> 00:15:11,187 >>THANK YOU. 507 00:15:11,646 --> 00:15:12,605 >>FORK DIED. 508 00:15:13,106 --> 00:15:14,024 >>JESUS CHRIST! 509 00:15:14,566 --> 00:15:15,525 >>MY GOD! 510 00:15:16,026 --> 00:15:16,109 >>WHAT? FORKS? 511 00:15:16,818 --> 00:15:18,570 >>WHEN HIS DAD LEFT, HE TOOK 512 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,113 THEIR COLLECTION OF ANTIQUE DEAD 513 00:15:20,613 --> 00:15:21,865 FORKS. MATT, GOD! 514 00:15:22,532 --> 00:15:23,283 >>HE TOOK ALL OF THEM. 515 00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,035 >>THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! 516 00:15:25,952 --> 00:15:26,036 >>SOMETIMES LIFE DOESN'T MAKE 517 00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:26,786 ANY SENSE. 518 00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:27,787 >>NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE. 519 00:15:28,538 --> 00:15:29,414 WE'RE IN AN INDUSTRIAL KITCHEN. 520 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:30,498 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO A 521 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:31,416 HAUNTED MANSION. 522 00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:32,500 >>WELL, WHEN HIS DAD LEFT, HE 523 00:15:33,168 --> 00:15:33,543 TOOK THE GHOSTS FROM THE 524 00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:34,210 MANSION. 525 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:35,503 >>OH, SHUT UP! OKAY? AND WHY 526 00:15:36,254 --> 00:15:37,505 ARE WE DRESSED LIKE THIS? WHAT-- 527 00:15:38,256 --> 00:15:39,174 WE LOOK LIKE 8-YEAR-OLDS. THIS 528 00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:40,717 IS WAY TOO SMALL FOR ME. 529 00:15:41,468 --> 00:15:41,843 >>YOU KNEW THE UNIFORM WHEN YOU 530 00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:42,886 SIGNED UP FOR THE 531 00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:44,262 "HOODIE CAP GANG". 532 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:45,805 >>AND WHAT'S THIS GIRL DOING 533 00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:46,848 HERE? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOU, 534 00:15:47,557 --> 00:15:49,059 ME AND A DUDE. THREE DUDES 535 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:50,894 GOING TO A HAUNTED MANSION. AND 536 00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:52,187 WHY DID YOU BRING ONE PIECE OF 537 00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:54,189 PIZZA? I'M HUNGRY! 538 00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:56,357 >>NO, ENOUGH. I CAN'T DO THIS. 539 00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:57,901 >>WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? 540 00:15:58,485 --> 00:16:00,070 >>THAT STORY WAS... 541 00:16:00,737 --> 00:16:01,071 BARELY A STORY. 542 00:16:01,863 --> 00:16:02,739 >>IT'S A FINE STORY. 543 00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:03,865 >>OKAY, WHAT'S THE PREMISE? 544 00:16:04,616 --> 00:16:05,492 >>THE PREMISE IS, IS THAT IN 545 00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:07,452 ORDER TO MAKE A DECISION, 3 546 00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:09,454 DUDES HAVE TO EMPLOY A CLASSIC 547 00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:11,831 RHYMING GAME. YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT 548 00:16:12,582 --> 00:16:13,333 ME WITH THESE DEAD EYES AND I 549 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:14,626 FEEL LIKE I'M TELLIN' A HOT 550 00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:16,336 STORY FROM A HOT TOME RIGHT NOW 551 00:16:17,087 --> 00:16:17,921 AND I'M NOT GETTING ANY GOD DAMN 552 00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:19,089 RESPECT OUT OF YOU TWO LITTLE 553 00:16:19,631 --> 00:16:19,839 TURDS. 554 00:16:20,507 --> 00:16:20,840 >>SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE REALLY 555 00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:21,674 GRABBING AT STRAWS. 556 00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:22,926 >>I AM NOT GRASPING AT STRAWS! 557 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:24,803 THAT STORY WAS A HIT. 558 00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:25,804 >>EVEN I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF 559 00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:26,638 DUMB. 560 00:16:27,347 --> 00:16:27,847 >>EVEN HE THOUGHT IT WAS KIND 561 00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:28,389 OF DUMB. 562 00:16:29,057 --> 00:16:29,516 >>WELL, WHAT DOES HE KNOW? 563 00:16:30,141 --> 00:16:30,558 HE'S JUST A BIG FAT BOZO. 564 00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:32,811 >>YOU KNOW, GIVEN THE OPTION, 565 00:16:33,561 --> 00:16:33,770 I THINK I'D RATHER GO BACK AND 566 00:16:34,437 --> 00:16:34,729 LOOK AT SOME OF THE EARLIER 567 00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:35,605 STORIES. 568 00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:37,107 >>NO! YOU MUST NOT DO THAT, 569 00:16:37,982 --> 00:16:38,274 THAT IS THE ONE RULE OF THE 570 00:16:38,608 --> 00:16:38,942 TOME. 571 00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:39,943 >>BUT IT'S EASY, WE JUST HAVE 572 00:16:40,527 --> 00:16:40,777 TO FLIP THE PAGES. 573 00:16:41,486 --> 00:16:41,736 >>OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT! 574 00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:42,695 CHILDREN, CHILDREN, DO NOT DO 575 00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:45,782 THAT, CHILDREN, NO! 576 00:16:46,241 --> 00:16:49,160 >>AH, WELL... 577 00:16:49,661 --> 00:16:52,288 >>WHERE ARE WE? 578 00:16:52,872 --> 00:16:54,624 >>WE'RE IN THE STORY. 579 00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:55,667 >>HEY, YOU'RE ME! 580 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:56,709 >>YEAH, I WAS JUST GOING TO GET 581 00:16:57,085 --> 00:16:57,377 SOME-- 582 00:16:57,836 --> 00:16:58,169 >>NICK JAYS. 583 00:16:58,503 --> 00:16:59,129 >>YEAH. 584 00:16:59,629 --> 00:16:59,921 >>HERE YOU GO. 585 00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:00,964 >>THANKS! 586 00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:01,965 >>THAT'S-- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, 587 00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:02,841 WHOA! BE CAREFUL WITH THAT, 588 00:17:03,299 --> 00:17:03,466 LITTLE GIRL. 589 00:17:03,925 --> 00:17:04,425 >>WHAT? WHY? 590 00:17:05,135 --> 00:17:09,597 >>JUST TELL US WHAT YOU WANT. 591 00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:11,683 >>I WANT THOSE BURGERS. 592 00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:15,603 >>THESE BURGERS? 593 00:17:15,937 --> 00:17:17,897 >>YEAH! 594 00:17:18,356 --> 00:17:19,190 >>I'M SO SORRY. 595 00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:20,483 >>THANKS FOR THE BURGERS. 596 00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:23,945 >>BYE. 597 00:17:24,696 --> 00:17:24,863 >>AND THEN, AFTER I BORROWED 598 00:17:25,613 --> 00:17:26,573 HER PANTS, I F---IN' DUMPED HER. 599 00:17:26,948 --> 00:17:27,532 >>YEAH! 600 00:17:27,949 --> 00:17:28,992 >>OH, YEAH! 601 00:17:29,492 --> 00:17:30,285 >>THAT'S MEAN. 602 00:17:30,869 --> 00:17:31,578 >>WHOA, WHO ARE YOU? 603 00:17:31,995 --> 00:17:33,246 >>WHO AM I? 604 00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:34,247 WHO THE F--- ARE YOU? 605 00:17:34,664 --> 00:17:35,331 (SCREAMING) 606 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:36,833 >>WHOA, WHOA EVERYBODY, JUST 607 00:17:37,584 --> 00:17:37,876 CALM DOWN. LET'S JUST FIND OUT 608 00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:38,877 WHAT THIS GIRL WANTS. 609 00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:41,337 >>SANDY... 610 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,174 NICE PANTS, BRO. 611 00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:45,341 >>YEAH, THANKS. 612 00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:48,636 OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 613 00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:54,475 >>I WANT YOUR PANTS. 614 00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:57,478 >>NO. 615 00:17:57,854 --> 00:18:04,569 >>NO... 616 00:18:04,903 --> 00:18:06,905 >>COOL. 617 00:18:07,572 --> 00:18:09,365 NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 618 00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:12,076 >>I'M REALLY SORRY. BYE. 619 00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:16,831 >>SEE YA, JERKS. 620 00:18:17,582 --> 00:18:18,917 >>I DON'T RECOGNIZE THIS STORY. 621 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,084 >>ME NEITHER. 622 00:18:20,627 --> 00:18:21,294 >>WHERE ARE WE? 623 00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:22,503 >>I DON'T KNOW. 624 00:18:23,213 --> 00:18:24,047 >>ARE YOU GUYS BACKGROUND? 625 00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:25,673 >>WE'RE KIDS. 626 00:18:26,341 --> 00:18:28,384 >>SWEET, MUFFIN. HEH-HEH! 627 00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:29,677 HEY, NICE PANTS, KID. 628 00:18:30,386 --> 00:18:31,554 >>OH, THANKS, THEY'RE NEW. 629 00:18:32,055 --> 00:18:33,223 >>PRETTY AWESOME. 630 00:18:34,057 --> 00:18:36,351 OH, MAN, I NEEDED THIS. 631 00:18:37,018 --> 00:18:40,063 >>HEY, GIVE ME THAT MUFFIN. 632 00:18:40,647 --> 00:18:41,648 >>NO, I'M EATING IT. 633 00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:44,234 >>PLEASE GIVE HER THAT MUFFIN. 634 00:18:45,193 --> 00:18:46,110 >>THERE'S A BOWL FULL OF 'EM. 635 00:18:46,778 --> 00:18:47,570 >>BUT I WANT THAT ONE. 636 00:18:48,321 --> 00:18:48,780 >>BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, 'CAUSE 637 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,991 I'M EATING IT. 638 00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:53,034 >>GIVE ME YOUR MUFFIN. 639 00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:54,077 >>WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 640 00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,955 (GUNSHOT) 641 00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:58,873 (GASPING) 642 00:18:59,374 --> 00:19:01,125 >>YOU SHOT ME. 643 00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:02,710 >>COOL! 644 00:19:03,378 --> 00:19:04,921 >>OH, MY GOD, YOU SHOT HIM. 645 00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:08,424 >>BRIAN? BRIAN! 646 00:19:09,008 --> 00:19:10,260 WHAT DID YOU KIDS DO? 647 00:19:10,843 --> 00:19:12,845 >>HELLO? 648 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,766 >>IS ANYBODY THERE? 649 00:19:17,475 --> 00:19:18,559 >>YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF 650 00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:21,271 OF ALL STORIES. ALL THAT IS LEFT 651 00:19:22,146 --> 00:19:23,231 IS A TALE OF A GRANDFATHER 652 00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:25,608 READING TO HIS GRANDKIDS ABOUT 653 00:19:26,317 --> 00:19:27,277 THE ROOM OF THE YOUNG DUDES. 654 00:19:27,944 --> 00:19:29,112 (EVIL LAUGH) 655 00:19:44,085 --> 00:19:47,171 [â– â– ] 656 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:48,131 >>DID YOU DO THE PREMIUM 657 00:19:48,673 --> 00:19:49,048 MEMBERSHIP THING? 658 00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:49,882 >>YEAH, I THINK SO. 659 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:50,883 (GUNSHOT) 660 00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:51,843 >>WHAT WAS THAT? 661 00:19:52,302 --> 00:19:57,140 >>BRIAN? BRIAN! 662 00:19:57,765 --> 00:19:58,891 WHAT DID YOU KIDS DO? 663 00:19:59,642 --> 00:20:01,060 >>MARK, DID YOU SEE THOSE KIDS? 664 00:20:01,394 --> 00:20:02,020 >>NO. 665 00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:02,895 >>THEY JUST-- THEY WERE THERE 666 00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:03,980 AND THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! 667 00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:05,356 >>I DIDN'T SEE 'EM. 668 00:20:06,065 --> 00:20:06,733 >>I THINK THEY SHOT BRIAN. 669 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,193 OH, MY GOD, BRIAN? BRIAN! 670 00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:11,029 >>IS HE OKAY? 671 00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:12,155 >>HE'S DEAD. 672 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,574 >>OH... 673 00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:17,035 >>OH, MY GOD. OKAY. 674 00:20:17,785 --> 00:20:18,536 >>WELL, LET'S SHOOT MY WEEKEND 675 00:20:19,078 --> 00:20:21,622 AT BERNIE'S SKETCH. 676 00:20:22,248 --> 00:20:24,042 >>BRIAN IS DEAD, MARK. 677 00:20:24,751 --> 00:20:25,418 >>YEAH, AND WE'VE ONLY GOT 678 00:20:26,127 --> 00:20:26,502 LIKE, 20 MINUTES LEFT ON THIS 679 00:20:27,253 --> 00:20:28,129 GREEN SCREEN. CREW'S ALL HERE. 680 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,173 LET'S SHOOT THE SKETCH. NOBODY 681 00:20:30,923 --> 00:20:31,424 CALLS 9-1-1 UNTIL WE'VE SHOT THE 682 00:20:32,175 --> 00:20:33,051 SKETCH, THEN WE CAN MAKE ALL THE 683 00:20:33,801 --> 00:20:36,721 CALLS WE WANT. OKAY, 20 MINUTES? 684 00:20:37,472 --> 00:20:39,515 >>OKAY, UH, FINE. UH, WHY DON'T 685 00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:40,641 YOU GUYS JUST SWITCH CHARACTERS? 686 00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:41,726 BRIAN CAN PLAY BERNIE-- 687 00:20:42,435 --> 00:20:42,894 >>NO, NO, NO... I WROTE THIS 688 00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:44,729 SKETCH, I'M BERNIE. YOU TWO ARE 689 00:20:45,146 --> 00:20:45,730 THE TEENS. 690 00:20:46,397 --> 00:20:47,065 >>BRIAN IS DEAD. CAN WE AT 691 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:48,399 LEAST MAYBE SWITCH HIM OUT WITH 692 00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:49,692 ANOTHER PICNICFACE MEMBER WHO'S 693 00:20:50,068 --> 00:20:50,443 ALIVE? 694 00:20:51,110 --> 00:20:51,652 >>NO! BRIAN WANTED TO BE IN 695 00:20:52,403 --> 00:20:53,780 THIS SKETCH, HE'S IN THE SKETCH! 696 00:20:54,405 --> 00:20:54,947 YOU TWO ARE THE TEENS, 697 00:20:58,868 --> 00:21:02,246 [â– â– ] 698 00:21:03,039 --> 00:21:04,415 >>AND SO, ANDY TRIED TO LIFT UP 699 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:06,834 BRIAN AND BERNIE. BUT-- I DON'T 700 00:21:07,543 --> 00:21:08,252 EVEN KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO 701 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:10,380 ANYMORE. YOU KIDS ARE GONE, 702 00:21:10,963 --> 00:21:12,382 IT'S JUST ME HERE. 703 00:21:13,257 --> 00:21:14,384 I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE BOOK. 704 00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:17,178 DAMMIT... 705 00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:18,054 >>IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY, 706 00:21:18,429 --> 00:21:20,014 DOCTOR? 707 00:21:20,765 --> 00:21:21,849 >>ACTUALLY, WE GENERALLY DON'T 708 00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:23,393 TREAT DEAD PEOPLE. 709 00:21:24,352 --> 00:21:24,519 >>YEAH, HE'S DEAD. I TOLD YOU, 710 00:21:24,852 --> 00:21:25,478 MARK. 711 00:21:26,229 --> 00:21:26,562 >>FRANKLY, I'M SURPRISED YOU 712 00:21:27,271 --> 00:21:28,564 GOT HIM PAST THE FRONT DESK. 713 00:21:29,315 --> 00:21:30,983 I... HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR QUITE 714 00:21:31,734 --> 00:21:33,403 SOME TIME. THAT SMELL, THAT'S... 715 00:21:33,903 --> 00:21:34,404 THAT'S HIM. 716 00:21:35,029 --> 00:21:35,405 >>IT'S DEATH. 717 00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:36,406 >>YEAH, RIDICULOUS. 718 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:37,407 >>I'M SORRY, WE WOULD HAVE 719 00:21:38,199 --> 00:21:38,408 ADMITTED HIM EARLIER, BUT WE HAD 720 00:21:39,117 --> 00:21:41,411 TO FINISH A SKETCH. 721 00:21:42,245 --> 00:21:44,747 >>WE'RE-- WE'RE NOT... 722 00:21:45,289 --> 00:21:45,415 TALKING ABOUT THAT. 723 00:21:46,165 --> 00:21:47,417 WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT. 724 00:21:48,126 --> 00:21:48,668 >>TALK ABOUT WHAT? 725 00:21:49,335 --> 00:21:51,003 >>THE-- I-I... I'M NOT IN 726 00:21:51,337 --> 00:21:52,338 THE... 727 00:21:53,005 --> 00:21:53,256 OH, WE'RE JUST TALKING 728 00:21:53,965 --> 00:21:55,425 ABOUT THAT THIS IS A SHOW. WE 729 00:21:56,384 --> 00:21:57,260 ALL READY DID THE META-THING. 730 00:21:58,010 --> 00:21:58,594 NOW, THIS IS LIKE, COME BACK 731 00:21:58,970 --> 00:21:59,554 OUT... 732 00:22:00,304 --> 00:22:01,097 >>WHAT LEVEL OF META ARE WE AT 733 00:22:01,514 --> 00:22:02,557 RIGHT NOW? 734 00:22:02,932 --> 00:22:03,433 >>THIRD? 735 00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:04,475 >>I DON'T KNOW. 'CAUSE WE DO 736 00:22:05,226 --> 00:22:05,685 THIS SKETCH INSIDE OF A SKETCH 737 00:22:06,436 --> 00:22:08,062 AND YOU'RE PLAYING A DOCTOR, BUT 738 00:22:08,771 --> 00:22:09,188 YOU'RE YOU, YOURSELF. I DON'T 739 00:22:09,939 --> 00:22:10,440 EVEN KNOW ANYMORE AND BRIAN'S... 740 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:12,358 NOT DEAD? 741 00:22:12,859 --> 00:22:13,317 >>IS HE DEAD? 742 00:22:13,943 --> 00:22:14,235 >>NO, I'M NOT DEAD. 743 00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:15,069 >>HE'S NOT DEAD. 744 00:22:15,403 --> 00:22:15,570 >>WHAT? 745 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:16,654 >>ALL RIGHT AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY 746 00:22:17,405 --> 00:22:18,197 PRETENDING TO BE REAL. AND I-- 747 00:22:18,906 --> 00:22:19,449 ARE YOU REALLY FREAKED OUT BY 748 00:22:19,949 --> 00:22:20,450 IT? 749 00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:21,617 >>I-- YEAH. 750 00:22:22,326 --> 00:22:22,618 >>ARE YOU REALLY FREAKED OUT? 751 00:22:23,077 --> 00:22:23,536 >>YEAH, I AM. 752 00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:24,620 >>OR ARE YOU JUST BEING... 753 00:22:25,288 --> 00:22:25,621 >>I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. 754 00:22:26,122 --> 00:22:26,456 >>NO, YOU DIDN'T. 755 00:22:27,373 --> 00:22:27,457 >>WHAT ABOUT THOSE TWO KIDS? 756 00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:28,332 >>WHAT TWO KIDS? 757 00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:29,292 >>THE KIDS THAT SHOT HIM. 758 00:22:30,042 --> 00:22:30,376 >>YEAH, THE KIDS THAT SHOT HIM? 759 00:22:31,169 --> 00:22:32,545 BILL AND EVANY IN WIGS. THAT'S 760 00:22:32,962 --> 00:22:33,588 WHAT UH... 761 00:22:33,921 --> 00:22:34,505 >>WHAT? 762 00:22:35,173 --> 00:22:36,257 >>YEAH, DON'T-- DON'T EVEN. 763 00:22:37,008 --> 00:22:38,468 >>THAT'S A CAMERA, RIGHT THERE. 764 00:22:39,302 --> 00:22:40,470 THAT'S A CAMERA. THAT'S A BOOM 765 00:22:41,012 --> 00:22:41,471 MIC RIGHT THERE. 766 00:22:42,096 --> 00:22:42,472 >>THERE'S A BOOM. 767 00:22:43,222 --> 00:22:43,473 >>THOSE ARE SOME LIGHTS AND 768 00:22:44,223 --> 00:22:44,474 THAT'S UH, CREW RIGHT OVER 769 00:22:45,183 --> 00:22:45,475 THERE, MAN. AND THAT'S-- 770 00:22:46,434 --> 00:22:46,476 >>YOU SHOULD BE MORE, BE MORE, 771 00:22:47,351 --> 00:22:47,602 BE MORE CONVINCING. BE MORE 772 00:22:48,352 --> 00:22:48,686 CONVINCING. LIKE YOU'RE REALLY 773 00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:49,562 CONFLICTED. 774 00:22:50,313 --> 00:22:50,563 >>JUST BE REALLY FREAKED OUT. 775 00:22:51,105 --> 00:22:51,481 REALLY FREAKED OUT. 776 00:22:52,398 --> 00:22:52,482 >>BRING IT BACK IT BACK IN. 777 00:22:53,274 --> 00:22:53,483 BRING IT BACK IN, I'M THE 778 00:22:53,858 --> 00:22:54,275 DOCTOR. 779 00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:55,318 >>REALLY FREAK OUT, REALLY 780 00:22:56,110 --> 00:22:56,319 FREAK OUT. YOU'RE EMOTIONAL, 781 00:22:56,819 --> 00:22:57,236 YOU'RE DEAD. 782 00:22:57,945 --> 00:23:42,322 >>MARK, NONE OF THIS IS REAL. 47906

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