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[EVANY] (TYPING)
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[EVANY] DAMMIT.
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[ANDREW] I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO
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HAPPEN.
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[EVANY] WHAT? HOW?
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[ANDREW] I CAN SEE THE FUTURE.
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[EVANY] THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP
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IT FROM HAPPENING?
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[ANDREW] I CAN ONLY SEE
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THE FUTURE.
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[EVANY] OKAY, WELL THAT'S--
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[ANDREW/EVANY] STUPID.
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[EVANY] OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!
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[ANDREW] I KNEW THAT WAS GOING
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TO HAPPEN.
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[EVANY] THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DID
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IT!
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[■■]
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PICNICFACE, AND WELCOME TO OUR
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VERY FIRST EPISODE. WE ARE SUPER
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EXCITED TO HAVE A TELEVISION
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SHOW, BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY
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INTRODUCE OURSELVES.
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[MARK] MARK.
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[KYLE] KYLE.
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[SCOTT] SCOTT.
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[EVANY] EVANY.
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[ANDREW] ANDY.
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[BILL] BILL.
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[CHERYL] CHERYL.
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[BRIAN] BRIAN MCCOR...
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[ANDREW] IT'S KIND OF BAD TIMING
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BECAUSE THIS PLACE THAT WE LIVE
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IN AND SHOOT IN IS REALLY
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EXPENSIVE.
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[KYLE] WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
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GET PART-TIME JOBS THEN.
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[ANDREW] WELL, I MEAN... WE'RE
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NOT GETTING PART-TIME JOBS. WE
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JUST BASICALLY HAVE TO WAIT
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UNTIL THE TELEVISION SHOW MONEY
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COMES IN, I GUESS.
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[KYLE] NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
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EVERYONE WORKING IN CANADIAN
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ENTERTAINMENT HAS A PART-TIME
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JOB, ANDY.
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NAME A PERSON.
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[ANDREW] I DON'T KNOW.
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CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER. DOES
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CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER HAVE A
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PART-TIME JOB?
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[KYLE] YEAH, HE WORKS AT THE
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PASSPORT OFFICE.
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[ANDREW] BRYAN ADAMS IS A BRYAN
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ADAMS IMPERSONATOR.
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[KYLE] FOR TIMES THEY CAN'T
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AFFORD THE REAL BRYAN ADAMS.
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DAVID SUZUKI CRAFTS STILTS.
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[ANDREW] THAT IS NOT A JOB.
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[MARK] HEY WHAT DID OUR
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ACCOUNTANTS SAY?
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[ANDREW] THAT WE'VE GOT TO GET
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PART-TIME JOBS.
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[BRIAN] WHAT? ACCOUNTANT!
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[MARK] IS HE GOING TO WALK ALL
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THE WAY TO THE ACCOUNTANT?
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THAT'S IN VANCOUVER. THAT'S THE
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OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. IS
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THAT WHAT HE'S DOING?
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[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT!
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ACCOUNTANT!
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ACCOUNTANT!
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[■■]
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[■■]
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[ANDREW] MR. MATHESON, I KNOW
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THAT YOU ARE IN FINANCIAL
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TROUBLE. THIS BOX MAY BE THE
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ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEM. IF YOU
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PUSH THIS BUTTON, TWO THINGS
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WILL HAPPEN. ONE, SOMEONE
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SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHO YOU
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DON'T KNOW, WILL DIE.
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[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.
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[ANDREW] AND TWO...
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YOU JUST PUSHED THE BUTTON.
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YOU DIDN'T LET ME
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FINISH.
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[MR. MATHESON] UH, SORRY.
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[ANDREW] SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IN
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THE WORLD WILL DIE...
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[MR. MATHESON] GOT IT.
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[ANDREW] DON'T HIT IT AGAIN!
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THAT'S THE SECOND... NO, JUST
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LET ME FINISH. BUT YOU'LL GET A
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MILLION DOLLARS.
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[MR. MATHESON] OH.
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[ANDREW] YEAH.
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[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.
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[ANDREW] GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.
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YOU JUST HIT IT THREE TIMES. YOU
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KILLED THREE PEOPLE. WONDERFUL.
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[MR. MATHESON] CAN I HAVE MY
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MILLION DOLLARS?
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[ANDREW] IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
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LIKE A MORAL PUZZLE.
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[MR. MATHESON] SOLVED.
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[ANDREW] NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU
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SOLVE THE PUZZLE. IT'S NOT THAT
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KIND OF PUZZLE.
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[MR. MATHESON] I DON'T... I
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[ANDREW] YOU JUST KILLED FOUR
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PEOPLE...
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[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.
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[ANDREW] DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
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[MR. MATHESON] YES.
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[ANDREW] YOU KILLED FOUR PEOPLE.
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YOU HIT THAT FOUR TIMES. WHAT?
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[MR. MATHESON] IS THAT... SHOULD
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I..?
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[ANDREW] DON'T HIT IT AGAIN! YOU
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JUST...
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[MR. MATHESON] ROUND UP?
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[ANDREW] ROUND UP TO WHAT?
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[MR. MATHESON] FIVE?
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[ANDREW] TO FIVE?
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[ANDREW] YOU DON'T WANT TO
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KILL... OKAY, LOOK. YEAH. HERE.
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OKAY? HERE'S YOUR MILLION
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DOLLARS. THERE YOU GO.
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[ANDREW] WHY DID YOU HIT IT
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AGAIN? WHY DID YOU HIT IT AGAIN?
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SECOND MILLION DOLLARS, PLEASE.
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WAY. YOU JUST GET ONE MILLION
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DOLLARS. TAKE IT.
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[MR. MATHESON] NO DEAL.
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[ANDREW] THAT'S NOT HOW... WHAT?
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NO, WHAT DEAL?
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[MR. MATHESON] I CHOOSE THE BOX.
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[ANDREW] STOP HITTING THE
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BUTTON. YOU'RE NOT CHOOSING THE
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BOX. YOU DON'T GET THE BOX. THE
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BOX ISN'T PART OF THE DEAL.
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[MR. MATHESON] OW, MY FINGER GOT
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[■■]
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[VOICEOVER] HE DUNKS IT!
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[EVANY] (SCATTING)
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[MAN] THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED
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TOMORROW.
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[■■]
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[CHERYL] ■THAT DAMN CASIO
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YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND■
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■AND I KNOW YOU'VE GOT MY BACK
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THROUGH THICK AND THIN■
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■AND YOU SING SO SWEET,
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GET ME UP ON MY FEET■
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■GOT ME SINGING YOUR PRAISES
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TO A PRE-SET SAMBA BEAT■
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■AND YOU'D NEVER STAB ME
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IN THE BACK,
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UNLIKE THAT BITCH, SARAH■
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■REMEMBER WHEN WE FOUND HER
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WITH MY BOYFRIEND IN HER BRA■
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■I TOOK YOU HOME
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AND WE WROTE A SONG THAT NIGHT■
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■HERE'S A LITTLE TASTE
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OF WHAT THAT SOUNDED LIKE...■
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[CHERYL] (CRYING)
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HOW COULD YOU, SARAH?
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I'M GONNA KILL YOU...
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(CRYING)
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[CHERYL] ■C TO THE A
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TO THE S, I, O■
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■YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST,
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CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
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WHO KNOWS■
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■ALL THE SECRETS THAT I WHISPER
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TO YOU LATE AT NIGHT■
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■WHEN WE'RE UNDER MY BLANKETS
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WITH A FLASHLIGHT■
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■DO YOU LOVE ME, BABY,
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CAUSE I LOVE YOU■
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■NOW LETS BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN
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[JAMESON] GOOD MORNING, SIR.
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[MARK] CUT THE CHIT-CHAT,
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JAMESON. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
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[JAMESON] SIR, I'VE GOT A WHOLE
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CAMPAIGN FOR OUR NEW LINE OF
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MEN'S PRODUCTS.
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[MARK] I'M LISTENING SO HARD
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RIGHT NOW.
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[JAMESON] RAZORS.
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[MARK] LOVE 'EM.
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[JAMESON] MEN USE THEM, BUT
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HERE'S WHY THEY'LL USE OURS.
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WE'LL SHOW A GUY SHAVING, THEN
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ALL OF A SUDDEN, BOOM! CHECK OUT
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THESE JET PLANES.
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[JAMESON] RRROOOOOW.
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[MARK] SHAVING. IT'S LIKE JET
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PLANES.
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[JAMESON] EXACTLY SIR. THIS IS
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YOUR PILOT SPEAKING. PREPARE TO
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BE SO FUCKING SHOWN...
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[JAMESON] ... DEODORANT.
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[MARK] SPOILER ALERT. I'M
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LISTENING.
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[JAMESON] WHY WOULD PEOPLE USE
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OUR DEODORANT? OH, I DON'T KNOW.
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MAYBE BECAUSE OUR ADS FEATURE A
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LION RIDING A SEADOO.
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[MARK] YOU JUST SHIT MY PANTS.
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[JAMESON] THANK YOU, SIR.
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[MARK] HOW DID THAT LION GET ON
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THAT SEADOO?
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[JAMESON] THE SAME WAY OUR
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DEODORANT WILL GET ON MEN'S
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PITS, SIR.
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[JAMESON/MARK] MAGIC.
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TWEEZERS?
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PIZZA KARATE KICKING THE STATUE
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OF LIBERTY IN THE TIT SOUND,
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SIR?
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[MARK] JESUS, YOU'RE GIVING MY
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EARS A BONER.
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[JAMESON] LET'S FINISH THOSE
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EARS OFF SIR. CHECK THIS OUT.
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[MARK] IS THAT A HEAD OF LETTUCE
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PILOTING A HELICOPTER INTO A
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BEAR?
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[JAMESON] THAT'S RIGHT SIR.
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FLOSS!
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[MARK] AMAZING WORK. IF THIS
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SANDWICH WERE A WOMAN, I'D GET
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IT TO FUCK YOU RIGHT NOW.
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[JAMESON] I'LL FUCK THAT
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SANDWICH, SIR.
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[MARK] YEAH!
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[JAMESON] WE'RE MEN.
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[MARK] MEN!
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[JAMESON] MEN!
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[MARK] WE'RE MEN!
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[■■]
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[VOICEOVER] DUNKS IT,
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RIGHT IN THE POOTER!
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[■■]
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[NARRATOR] IN CINEMA'S
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PORNOGRAPHY ZONE, THE MALE
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POINT OF VIEW SHOT HAS LONG BEEN
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POPULAR, ALLOWING THE VIEWER TO
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FEEL THEY'RE EXPERIENCING THE
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SEX ACTS THEMSELVES. BUT IN
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1978, PORN DIRECTOR CAIN RONSON
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TURNED THE TABLES AND THE
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CAMERAS IN HIS HIT FILM,
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PUMP TOWN.
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[BOG] OOOH. YOU LIKE THAT?
257
00:08:07,055 --> 00:08:08,473
[ACTRESS] OH, YEAH... OH, PUT IT
258
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,391
IN ME.
259
00:08:10,142 --> 00:08:11,310
[BOG] OH, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
260
00:08:11,893 --> 00:08:12,811
[ACTRESS] (GROANING)
261
00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:13,895
[NARRATOR] THE FEMALE POINT OF
262
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:15,689
VIEW SHOT REVOLUTIONIZED
263
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,357
PORNOGRAPHIC CINEMATOGRAPHY, AND
264
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:19,234
ROCKETED RONSON TO FAME, ALONG
265
00:08:19,985 --> 00:08:20,611
WITH HIS FAVOURITE LEADING MAN,
266
00:08:21,194 --> 00:08:22,696
BOG MORRIS.
267
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:23,614
[CAIN] AND NOW WE'RE IN THE
268
00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:25,616
MIDDLE OF PUMP TOWN, AND I GOT
269
00:08:26,491 --> 00:08:28,952
AN IDEA. AND I SAID, UH... WHAT
270
00:08:29,453 --> 00:08:29,661
DID I SAY TO YOU?
271
00:08:30,412 --> 00:08:30,454
[BOG] YOU SAID, WHY DON'T YOU
272
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:31,163
TRY THIS ONE RIGHT DOWN THE
273
00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:31,663
BARREL.
274
00:08:32,289 --> 00:08:33,290
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL.
275
00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:34,625
DOWN THE BARREL. AND YOU KNOW
276
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:35,626
WHAT? WE TURNED THOSE CAMERAS
277
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,920
AROUND... BEAUTIFUL. AND I SAID,
278
00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:41,632
MORE OF THIS. I WANT MORE OF
279
00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,468
THIS. THIS IS ALL I WANT.
280
00:08:44,885 --> 00:08:45,344
YOU KNOW?
281
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:46,094
[BOG] RIGHT DOWN THE BARREL.
282
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:46,803
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL. DO YOUR
283
00:08:47,262 --> 00:08:49,723
VOICE. DO IT.
284
00:08:50,474 --> 00:08:50,515
[BOG] (DEEP VOICE) OH, YOU LIKE
285
00:08:50,932 --> 00:08:51,642
THAT DIPSTICK, BABY?
286
00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:52,893
OH YEAH. I'M GONNA FILL YOU
287
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:54,102
RIGHT UP.
288
00:08:54,686 --> 00:08:56,480
WITH PREMIUM. DIESEL.
289
00:08:57,147 --> 00:08:57,188
[CAIN] YEAH. WHERE'RE YOU
290
00:08:57,189 --> 00:08:57,648
LOOKING?
291
00:08:58,523 --> 00:08:58,565
[BOG] RIGHT DOWN THE BARREL.
292
00:08:59,024 --> 00:08:59,691
[CAIN] THAT'S MY BOY.
293
00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:00,651
[NARRATOR] THE FEMALE POINT OF
294
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:02,527
VIEW SHOT BECAME RONSON'S
295
00:09:03,195 --> 00:09:03,737
HALLMARK, AND WAS USED
296
00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:06,365
EXTENSIVELY IN HIS 1980 HIT, 18
297
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:07,157
WHEELER.
298
00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:08,158
[BOG] OH YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE A
299
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:08,909
LONG HAUL.
300
00:09:09,451 --> 00:09:11,328
[ACTRESS] OH YEAH!
301
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:12,663
[BOG] BREAKER 1-9, THIS IS
302
00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:13,705
PULLED PORK, YOU COPY ON ME
303
00:09:14,164 --> 00:09:14,790
THERE, PIG PEN?
304
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:16,291
[NARRATOR] BY 1981, RONSON WAS
305
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:17,668
THE BEST PAID DIRECTOR IN
306
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,294
PORNOGRAPHY, BUT HIS FAST-LANE
307
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,672
LIFESTYLE BEGAN TO TAKE A TOLL.
308
00:09:22,506 --> 00:09:22,547
[CAIN] YEAH, I GOTTA QUESTION
309
00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:24,675
FOR YOU. HOW MANY BROADS... HOW
310
00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:25,759
MANY BROADS YOU TAKE HOME IN A
311
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:27,386
NIGHT? YOU KNOW? I GOT SO MANY
312
00:09:28,136 --> 00:09:29,471
BROADS, I GOTTA STACK EM. YOU
313
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:31,223
KNOW? I STACK THEM FIVE HIGH,
314
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:33,100
AND I JUST GO ONE, BOOM! I GO
315
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,811
UP, GOING UP, AND THEN UP TO THE
316
00:09:36,561 --> 00:09:37,062
NEXT ONE,■AND THE NEXT ONE AND
317
00:09:37,813 --> 00:09:38,647
THE NEXT ONE. THERE ARE SO MANY
318
00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:39,773
GIRLS IN MY SWIMMING POOL, I DO
319
00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:41,692
A CANNONBALL INTO THE
320
00:09:42,484 --> 00:09:42,526
POOL, AND GIRLS GO FLYING ONTO
321
00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:44,695
THE SIDE. IT'S AMAZING.
322
00:09:45,529 --> 00:09:46,697
[CAIN] I ONCE HAD A DREAM I WAS
323
00:09:47,656 --> 00:09:48,115
FUCKING THE MOON. I DON'T EVEN
324
00:09:48,782 --> 00:09:49,700
KNOW IF THAT WAS A DREAM. I
325
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:51,743
THINK THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
326
00:09:52,494 --> 00:09:52,828
IT'S NEVER GONNA STOP. IT'S DOWN
327
00:09:53,578 --> 00:09:53,954
THE BARREL. IT'S NEVER GONNA
328
00:09:54,621 --> 00:09:55,330
STOP BEING DOWN THE BARREL.
329
00:09:56,039 --> 00:09:56,456
THAT'S LIFE. LIFE IS DOWN THE
330
00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:57,708
BARREL. YOU KNOW? YOU LOOK LIFE
331
00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,626
IN THE EYES AND YOU FUCK IT.
332
00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:02,504
WOULD BE ROCKED IN 1982, WHEN
333
00:10:03,255 --> 00:10:04,798
RONSON, AT THE PEAK OF HIS FAME,
334
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:06,258
WAS CONVICTED OF DRUG
335
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:08,301
TRAFFICKING AND SENTENCED TO 10
336
00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:10,721
YEARS IN PRISON. IN ORDER TO
337
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:11,680
FULFILL HIS CONTRACTUAL
338
00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:13,515
OBLIGATIONS, HE HAD HIS 8-YEAR
339
00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:14,891
OLD SON, DUSTIN, TAKE OVER HIS
340
00:10:15,642 --> 00:10:16,852
WRITING AND DIRECTORIAL DUTIES.
341
00:10:17,602 --> 00:10:18,729
HERE'S A SCENE FROM BOOBIES AND
342
00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:20,313
TOOTS.
343
00:10:21,022 --> 00:10:21,440
[BOG] OH, YOUR BAGINA IS ALL
344
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,400
HAIRY, LIKE MY DOG. HIS NAME IS
345
00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:24,359
POOCHINNI.
346
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:25,152
[ACTRESS] OH. CAN I COME TO YOUR
347
00:10:25,569 --> 00:10:26,403
HOUSE AND PLAY WITH YOUR DOG?
348
00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:27,571
[BOG] OH, I'M GONNA PEE PEE,
349
00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:28,238
WENT PEE PEE.
350
00:10:28,989 --> 00:10:29,030
[ACTRESS] I LIKE YOU. LET'S GET
351
00:10:29,239 --> 00:10:29,740
MARRIED.
352
00:10:30,282 --> 00:10:33,285
[BOG] OOOOOKAY!
353
00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:34,536
[NARRATOR] IN 1985, UNABLE TO
354
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:35,787
WITHSTAND THE ISOLATION OF
355
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:37,789
PRISON, RONSON TOOK HIS OWN
356
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,250
LIFE. HE WROTE HIS SUICIDE NOTE
357
00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:41,752
INTO THE SCRIPT OF HIS
358
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:42,753
POST-HOSTUMOUS FILM, THE FINAL
359
00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:44,254
CURTAIN.
360
00:10:44,963 --> 00:10:45,756
[BOG] I LOVE YOU ALL. AND I'M
361
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:46,757
SORRY IF THIS DECISION CAUSES
362
00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:48,675
YOU ANY PAIN, BUT I LOOK INTO
363
00:10:49,426 --> 00:10:50,510
THE FUTURE AND ALL I SEE IS
364
00:10:54,306 --> 00:11:00,520
[■■]
365
00:11:01,188 --> 00:11:01,521
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL...
366
00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:05,150
DOWN THE BARREL...
367
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:05,941
[ANDREW] SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING
368
00:11:05,942 --> 00:11:06,860
TO DO?
369
00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:07,486
[MARK] FOR WHAT?
370
00:11:08,111 --> 00:11:08,403
[ANDREW] FOR YOUR JOB?
371
00:11:09,112 --> 00:11:09,154
[MARK] OH, I DON'T KNOW. I'LL
372
00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:11,198
JUST DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. STUFF
373
00:11:11,907 --> 00:11:12,115
USUALLY JUST SORT OF COMES TO
374
00:11:12,866 --> 00:11:14,242
ME. LIKE TWO SUMMERS AGO, I GOT
375
00:11:14,993 --> 00:11:15,619
MONEY FROM A GUY BECAUSE I LET
376
00:11:16,328 --> 00:11:17,662
HIM SHAVE MY HEAD, BALD. THAT
377
00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:18,789
WAS THE SUMMER I WENT TO EUROPE.
378
00:11:19,706 --> 00:11:19,831
IT WAS FORTUITOUS BECAUSE I MET
379
00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:22,501
A FUN PACK OF BALD GUYS IN
380
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:24,294
BELGIUM AT A HOSTEL, AND THEN WE
381
00:11:25,045 --> 00:11:25,837
ALL HUNG OUT, AND WE WERE LIKE
382
00:11:26,546 --> 00:11:27,506
"THE BALD GUYS". WE ALL GOT
383
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:28,715
MATCHING TATTOOS. DIDN'T I SHOW
384
00:11:29,508 --> 00:11:30,425
YOU THAT? MATCHING THROWING STAR
385
00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:31,384
TATTOOS.
386
00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:32,177
[ANDREW] THAT'S NOT A THROWING
387
00:11:32,552 --> 00:11:33,011
STAR, MARK.
388
00:11:33,553 --> 00:11:33,804
[MARK] YES, IT IS.
389
00:11:34,763 --> 00:11:34,971
[ANDREW] NO, IT'S NOT. THAT'S A
390
00:11:35,347 --> 00:11:37,808
SWASTIKA.
391
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:40,060
[MARK] OH NO. WE JUMPED AROUND A
392
00:11:40,811 --> 00:11:42,813
LOT. ALTHOUGH LOOKING BACK, SOME
393
00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:44,147
OF THOSE JOKES WERE DEFINITELY
394
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:46,817
NAZI JOKES. WHAT'S WHITE AND
395
00:11:47,692 --> 00:11:49,027
WHITE AND WHITE ALL OVER? A
396
00:11:49,736 --> 00:11:51,446
PERFECT WORLD. YEAH, THAT'S A
397
00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:52,364
NAZI JOKE.
398
00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:53,156
[ANDREW] WHY DON'T YOU TELL THAT
399
00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:53,698
JOKE TO EVANY AND SEE HOW SHE
400
00:11:53,907 --> 00:11:53,990
FEELS?
401
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:55,450
[MARK] WHY? WHY WOULDN'T I?
402
00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:56,117
[ANDREW] OKAY, WELL MAYBE
403
00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:57,202
BECAUSE EVANY IS JEWISH.
404
00:11:57,661 --> 00:11:58,036
[MARK] WHAT?
405
00:11:58,745 --> 00:12:00,247
[ANDREW] YEAH, SHE'S JEWISH.
406
00:12:00,831 --> 00:12:00,997
DON'T MAKE THAT FACE!
407
00:12:01,623 --> 00:12:01,832
[MARK] NO, I'M SORRY...
408
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:05,252
[MARK] SO, WHAT'S WHITE AND
409
00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:08,672
WHITE AND WHITE ALL OVER?
410
00:12:09,297 --> 00:12:10,549
[EVANY] A PERFECT WORLD.
411
00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:12,425
[ANDREW] OKAY, THAT'S NOT...
412
00:12:12,884 --> 00:12:13,260
[MARK] MONEY!
413
00:12:13,885 --> 00:12:15,262
[EVANY] MONEY, OH NO...
414
00:12:16,012 --> 00:12:16,054
[ANDREW] WE'RE NOT PUTTING THIS
415
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:16,638
ON TELEVISION.
416
00:12:17,138 --> 00:12:17,305
[EVANY] WHY NOT?
417
00:12:18,598 --> 00:12:19,057
EDIT IT OUT. I'M EDITING THIS
418
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:20,183
PIECE SO THERE IS NO WAY I'M
419
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:21,560
GOING TO PUT THIS IN. MARK, DO
420
00:12:22,269 --> 00:12:22,477
YOU WANT EVERYONE TO THINK
421
00:12:23,061 --> 00:12:23,103
THAT YOU'RE A RACIST?
422
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:24,813
THIS PIECE, AND RIGHT NOW YOU'VE
423
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:25,814
GOT A HORSE FOR A HEAD.
424
00:12:26,314 --> 00:12:26,731
[EVANY] NICE.
425
00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:27,524
[ANDREW] WHAT DO YOU MEAN I
426
00:12:28,608 --> 00:12:28,650
[ANDREW] OKAY, SO THIS TANGENT
427
00:12:29,276 --> 00:12:30,443
HAS GOTTEN HORRIFYING. THE POINT
428
00:12:31,069 --> 00:12:31,862
IS, WE REALLY NEED TO GET
429
00:12:34,155 --> 00:12:54,968
[■■]
430
00:12:55,719 --> 00:12:55,760
[PILOT] HELLO, WE'RE FLYING LOW
431
00:12:56,136 --> 00:12:57,304
HERE. HELLO? IT'S COMPLETE
432
00:12:58,013 --> 00:12:58,722
DESTRUCTION. WHAT'S GOING ON
433
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:00,515
DOWN THERE?
434
00:13:00,932 --> 00:13:02,475
(SCREAMING)
435
00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:23,580
[■■]
436
00:13:23,997 --> 00:13:36,927
(GUNSHOTS)
437
00:13:45,393 --> 00:13:53,652
[■■]
438
00:13:54,361 --> 00:13:58,406
[MARK] YES, YES, OKAY, YES!
439
00:13:58,823 --> 00:14:02,911
(LAUGHING)
440
00:14:03,703 --> 00:14:05,121
[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT! YOU SON OF A
441
00:14:05,705 --> 00:14:09,209
BITCH. WHERE ARE YOU?
442
00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:16,466
[■■]
443
00:14:21,429 --> 00:14:23,598
[■■]
444
00:14:44,035 --> 00:14:44,828
[INTERCOM] PAGING DR. STATEMENT.
445
00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:46,204
[DOCTOR] MR. DAVIS?
446
00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:47,163
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A
447
00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:48,039
FATHER.
448
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:48,707
[MR. DAVIS] (SIGH)
449
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:49,290
AND HE'S HEALTHY?
450
00:14:49,916 --> 00:14:50,125
[DOCTOR] GOT 10 FINGERS AND
451
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:54,587
10 TOES. BUT THAT'S ALL.
452
00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:59,009
[MR. DAVIS] OH GOD. NO...
453
00:14:59,759 --> 00:14:59,801
[DOCTOR] (FEMALE VOICE) SOME
454
00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,597
[■■]
455
00:15:05,306 --> 00:15:06,558
[VOICEOVER] DOING IT DIRTY!
456
00:15:10,854 --> 00:15:12,022
(GUN SHOTS)
457
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:13,398
[SERGEANT] ALL RIGHT, MEN. ON MY
458
00:15:14,107 --> 00:15:14,399
SIGNAL WE'RE GOING OVER THAT
459
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,026
RIDGE AND WE'RE NOT COMING BACK
460
00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:17,444
UNTIL EVERY GODDAMN GERMAN IS
461
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:25,952
DEAD.
462
00:15:26,703 --> 00:15:27,245
[SOLDIER 1] OH MAN. CAN YOU
463
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:28,038
IMAGINE IF WE ACTUALLY WON THIS
464
00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:31,791
THING? WOULDN'T THAT BE WEIRD?
465
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:32,584
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF WE ACTUALLY
466
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,044
WON? WOULD YOU BE LIKE, YEAH, WE
467
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:36,379
DID IT! YEAH, WE WON!
468
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:37,881
(SHOOTING NOISES)
469
00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:38,673
[SOLDIER 2] YEAH, SURE. YEAH, I
470
00:15:38,798 --> 00:15:39,049
GUESS SO.
471
00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:39,883
[SOLDIER 1] WHAT IF WE WENT OVER
472
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:41,301
THERE, WE GOT IN THE TRENCH, AND
473
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:42,594
THEN IT TURNED OUT NO ONE WAS
474
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:45,805
THERE. IT WAS JUST FLIES. AND
475
00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:47,640
THOSE WERE THE ENEMY! THE FLIES
476
00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:48,516
WERE THE ENEMY, WHAT WOULD YOU
477
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:49,225
DO?
478
00:15:49,893 --> 00:15:50,101
[SOLDIER 2] I DON'T KNOW. I
479
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:51,269
DON'T.
480
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:52,062
[SOLDIER 1] WHAT IF I GOT OVER
481
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:52,896
THERE AND I GOT SHOT RIGHT IN
482
00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:54,397
THE HEAD, AND I COULDN'T SAY ANY
483
00:15:55,148 --> 00:15:56,066
OF MY SS ANYMORE. WOULDN'T THAT
484
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:56,649
BE WEIRD?
485
00:15:57,358 --> 00:15:57,400
[SOLDIER 2] YEAH, I GUESS THAT
486
00:15:57,817 --> 00:15:58,526
WOULD BE WEIRD. SURE.
487
00:15:59,235 --> 00:15:59,277
[SOLDIER 1] WOULD YOU HELP ME
488
00:15:59,444 --> 00:15:59,486
OUT?
489
00:16:00,236 --> 00:16:00,653
[SOLDIER 2] NO, I WOULD NOT HELP
490
00:16:01,362 --> 00:16:01,404
YOU OUT. THAT'S JUST NOT THAT
491
00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:02,238
BIG OF A DISABILITY.
492
00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:03,031
[SOLDIER 1] I THINK IT'S A HUGE
493
00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:03,573
DISABILITY.
494
00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:04,407
[SOLDIER 2] NO! KEEP YOUR HEAD
495
00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:06,117
DOWN. THE MOON IS OUT. THEY CAN
496
00:16:06,451 --> 00:16:07,077
SEE US.
497
00:16:07,911 --> 00:16:07,952
[SOLDIER 1] CAN YOU IMAGINE IF
498
00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:09,204
THERE WAS NO MOON. THERE WOULD
499
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:10,038
BE NO WEREWOLVES.
500
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:11,664
WEREWOLVES ANYWAYS.
501
00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:12,957
THERE WERE WEREWOLVES?
502
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:13,583
[SOLDIER 2] NO! THERE'S NEVER
503
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,210
GONNA BE. JUST SHUT UP! WHY DO
504
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:16,628
YOU KEEP DOING THIS? WHAT WOULD
505
00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:18,213
YOU DO IF YOU ONLY HAD TWO WEEKS
506
00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:19,380
TO LIVE, IF YOU WERE TRAPPED IN
507
00:16:20,131 --> 00:16:21,091
A PLASTER MOLD OF YOUR OWN FACE?
508
00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:22,801
I DON'T KNOW! WHO ASKS THAT
509
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:24,552
QUESTION?
510
00:16:25,303 --> 00:16:25,345
[SOLDIER 1] I'M JUST CURIOUS.
511
00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:26,262
[SOLDIER 2] WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF
512
00:16:26,971 --> 00:16:28,598
YOUR NAME WAS BEEF SOUP? I
513
00:16:29,099 --> 00:16:29,140
WOULD CHANGE IT!
514
00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:30,266
(GUNSHOT)
515
00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:34,104
[SOLIDER 1] OH! KEVIN! KEVIN! OH
516
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:35,271
MY GOD, YOU'VE BEEN SHOT! OH MY
517
00:16:35,605 --> 00:16:36,231
GOD.
518
00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:37,023
[SOLDIER 2] I'M NOT GONNA MAKE
519
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:37,732
IT, MAN.
520
00:16:38,441 --> 00:16:38,483
[SOLDIER 1] YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
521
00:16:38,942 --> 00:16:39,442
IT. JUST STAY WITH ME BUDDY.
522
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:41,152
LOOK AT ME.
523
00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,405
THIS LETTER TO MY WIFE.
524
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:46,783
[SOLDIER 1] OKAY. LISTEN, KEVIN.
525
00:16:47,492 --> 00:16:49,119
LOOK AT ME. KEVIN, CAN YOU
526
00:16:49,911 --> 00:16:50,620
IMAGINE IF WHEN I GAVE THIS
527
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:52,497
LETTER TO YOUR WIFE, IT TURNED
528
00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:54,124
OUT SHE WAS AN OWL, WOULDN'T
529
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:58,128
THAT BE WEIRD?
530
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:01,089
[SOLDIER 2] LET... ME... DIE.
531
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,674
[SOLIDER 1] GERMANS! CAN YOU
532
00:17:03,424 --> 00:17:04,384
IMAGINE IF I GAVE THIS LETTER TO
533
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,886
THIS GUY'S WIFE AND IT TURNED
534
00:17:07,637 --> 00:17:10,014
OUT SHE WAS AN OWL?! WOULDN'T
535
00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:12,016
THAT BE WEIRD?!
536
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:13,518
[GERMAN] LIKE A REGULAR SIZED
537
00:17:14,185 --> 00:17:15,145
OWL OR A HUMAN SIZED OWL?
538
00:17:15,979 --> 00:17:17,605
[SOLDIER 1] A REGULAR SIZED OWL!
539
00:17:18,356 --> 00:17:18,439
[GERMAN] YES, THAT WOULD BE VERY
540
00:17:18,773 --> 00:17:19,149
WEIRD.
541
00:17:19,983 --> 00:17:22,402
[VOICEOVER] JESUS CHRIST!
542
00:17:22,986 --> 00:17:26,030
[CHERYL] BASKETBALL.
543
00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:31,161
[EVANY] (SCATTING)
544
00:17:31,870 --> 00:17:32,203
[BRIAN] THAT'S ACID!
545
00:17:32,787 --> 00:17:35,165
[EVANY] ACID? OH GOD.
546
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:39,752
[BRIAN] DO YOU KNOW THE INTERNET
547
00:17:40,128 --> 00:17:40,461
PASSWORD?
548
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:45,008
[BILL] YEAH, IT'S RVG987...
549
00:17:45,508 --> 00:17:45,550
[BRIAN] MM HMM.
550
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:50,096
[BILL] 6...5... 4...
551
00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:48,696
[■■]
552
00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:49,656
[VOICEOVER] PUT A RUBBER ON THAT
553
00:18:52,784 --> 00:18:58,373
[■■]
554
00:18:58,957 --> 00:19:01,251
[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT!
555
00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:03,753
ACCOUNTANT!
556
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,880
ACCOUNTANT!
557
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:07,006
ACCOUNTANT!
558
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:27,277
[■■]
559
00:19:28,069 --> 00:19:31,322
[SOLDIER 1] (KNOCKING)
560
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:32,532
[OWL] (HOOTS)
561
00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:34,993
[SOLDIER 1] OHHHH! SHE'S AN OWL,
562
00:19:35,535 --> 00:19:35,952
ISN'T THAT WEIRD?
563
00:19:37,829 --> 00:19:41,291
[■■]
564
00:20:00,226 --> 00:20:01,561
[EVANY] SO, WE ALL GOT FIRED
565
00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:04,188
FROM OUR JOBS, PRETTY MUCH.
566
00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:05,315
[CHERYL] I LIKE MY JOB.
567
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:06,316
[EVANY] COOL.
568
00:20:07,191 --> 00:20:07,400
[ANDREW] OKAY, CHERYL, YOU WHAT?
569
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:09,319
YOU GOTTA PUT THAT AWAY.
570
00:20:10,111 --> 00:20:10,320
[CHERYL] DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL
571
00:20:11,112 --> 00:20:11,779
ME WHAT TO DO, ANDREW! I'LL BLOW
572
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,364
EVANY'S HEAD OFF!
573
00:20:13,906 --> 00:20:13,948
[ANDREW] I GOT IT!
574
00:20:14,574 --> 00:20:15,116
[CHERYL] I'M A RENEGADE!
575
00:20:15,533 --> 00:20:16,284
(DOOR BELL)
576
00:20:17,035 --> 00:20:17,075
[EVANY] OKAY, EVERYBODY, PIPE
577
00:20:17,076 --> 00:20:20,038
DOWN!
578
00:20:20,705 --> 00:20:20,747
THAT WILL BE OUR LANDLORD
579
00:20:21,331 --> 00:20:23,958
COMING TO EVICT US, SO...
580
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,044
[EVANY] OH, HEY MARK. WE
581
00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:27,211
ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE THE
582
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,255
LANDLORD JUST NOW, SO...
583
00:20:29,756 --> 00:20:30,048
[MARK] I AM.
584
00:20:30,506 --> 00:20:31,341
[EVANY] WHAT?
585
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:32,925
[MARK] YEAH. YOU'D BE SURPRISED
586
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:34,177
HOW MUCH MONEY YOU CAN MAKE
587
00:20:34,886 --> 00:20:34,927
WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH
588
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:37,055
THIS FACE. I BOUGHT THE PLACE.
589
00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:39,349
[ANDREW] AWESOME!
590
00:20:40,058 --> 00:20:40,099
[EVANY] THAT'S AMAZING.
591
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:40,725
[ANDREW] OH MY GOD, THAT'S
592
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:41,184
GREAT.
593
00:20:41,851 --> 00:20:42,352
[EVANY] WE WERE SO WORRIED.
594
00:20:43,311 --> 00:20:43,561
[MARK] YEAH, SO WHEN ARE YOU
595
00:20:44,062 --> 00:20:46,272
GUYS MOVING OUT?
596
00:20:46,856 --> 00:20:47,440
[EVANY] I'M SORRY?
597
00:20:48,191 --> 00:20:48,983
[MARK] I'M A LANDLORD. THIS IS
598
00:20:49,734 --> 00:20:51,277
WHAT I DO FOR A JOB RIGHT NOW.
599
00:20:51,944 --> 00:20:52,445
AM I BEING CRAZY HERE?
600
00:20:53,154 --> 00:20:53,196
[EVANY] BUT, MARK, YOU'RE OUR
601
00:20:53,571 --> 00:20:54,155
FRIEND.
602
00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:55,406
[MARK] (EVIL VOICE) NO!
603
00:20:56,074 --> 00:20:57,909
I AM YOUR LANDLORD. I DON'T
604
00:20:58,576 --> 00:20:59,160
KNOW WHAT PART OF THIS YOU
605
00:20:59,911 --> 00:21:00,787
DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT LET ME
606
00:21:01,537 --> 00:21:04,582
MAKE IT VERY CLEAR: YOU PAY RENT
607
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:10,046
TO STAY IN THE HOUSE THAT I OWN!
608
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,382
[MARK] OH! MY HEART!
609
00:21:13,091 --> 00:21:13,341
[EVANY] MARK, OH MY GOD.
610
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,928
[MARK] OH! I HURT MY HEART. HELP
611
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:17,470
ME!
612
00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:18,262
[ANDREW] GET HIM ON THE GROUND!
613
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:18,888
GET HIM ON THE GROUND!
614
00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:20,390
(SHOUTING)
615
00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:22,308
[MARK] DON'T CALL AN AMBULANCE.
616
00:21:22,975 --> 00:21:23,226
[EVANY] SCOTT, CALL AN
617
00:21:26,104 --> 00:21:27,230
(CHAOTIC SHOUTING)
618
00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:45,456
(AMBULANCE SIRENS)
619
00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:49,127
(GUN SHOTS)
620
00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:52,880
[MARK] (GASP!)
621
00:21:53,631 --> 00:21:54,966
[EVANY] HOW YOU DOING, BIG GUY?
622
00:21:55,675 --> 00:21:57,760
[MARK] BETTER. HEY, LISTEN, I
623
00:21:58,511 --> 00:21:59,345
THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND YOU GUYS
624
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:01,639
CAN KEEP THE APARTMENT. I GUESS
625
00:22:02,306 --> 00:22:03,933
I HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.
626
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:05,435
[EVANY] THAT'S SO FUNNY.
627
00:22:06,352 --> 00:22:06,394
[MARK] OKAY, CAN SOMEONE TAKE
628
00:22:06,769 --> 00:22:08,729
CARE OF THIS FOR ME PLEASE?
629
00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,148
[ANDREW] NURSE?
630
00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:11,357
[BILL] OH, HEY GUYS.
631
00:22:11,899 --> 00:22:12,024
[ANDREW] BILL?
632
00:22:12,775 --> 00:22:12,817
[BILL] I'M JUST HERE MASCOTTING
633
00:22:13,317 --> 00:22:14,444
FOR ED'S BED PANS. THE REAL
634
00:22:28,791 --> 00:22:36,716
[BRIAN] (GRUNTING)
635
00:22:44,182 --> 00:22:59,071
[■■]
636
00:22:59,572 --> 00:22:59,906
■LATE AFTERNOON
637
00:23:00,573 --> 00:23:02,742
ANOTHER DAY IS NEARLY DONE■
638
00:23:03,034 --> 00:23:06,454
[■■]
639
00:23:07,163 --> 00:23:08,289
■A DARKER GREY IS BREAKING
640
00:23:08,915 --> 00:23:10,500
THROUGH A LIGHTER ONE■
641
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:13,961
[■■]
642
00:23:14,712 --> 00:23:15,755
■A THOUSAND SHARPENED ELBOWS
643
00:23:16,297 --> 00:23:21,511
IN THE UNDERGROUND■
644
00:23:22,386 --> 00:23:26,932
■THAT HOLLOW HURRIED SOUND
40623
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