Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:03,458
Stop wasting my time.
Anything less than 40 percent and we walk.
2
00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:06,000
Mm. Wow, this is good coffee.
3
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,125
Look at you.
4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:09,625
Stay-at-home dad,
just sit around on your ass all day
5
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,542
while your wife works to support you.
6
00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:12,959
Must be quite a blow to your manhood.
7
00:00:13,041 --> 00:00:15,333
All this lounging is awful. I'm miserable.
8
00:00:15,417 --> 00:00:16,917
But you enjoy work today.
9
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,667
You know what you don't realize?
10
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:22,041
To make me happy, you need
to keep your ass out of my way.
11
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,250
Hoo! I don't envy that guy.
12
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,667
I'm talking to you now, babe.
13
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,500
- Get your ass out of my chair!
- Oh!
14
00:00:32,208 --> 00:00:34,875
Mm. Coffee.
15
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:42,542
I don't wanna go to court
on this, but I will.
16
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,583
And if I do, you will regret it.
17
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:49,000
Wine me, dime eyes.
18
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,250
You just waved me off.
19
00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:51,458
{\an8}Didn't you see the glasses?
20
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:53,542
{\an8}That was work Ellie.
She's all about business.
21
00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:56,792
{\an8}This is hang Ellie.
She's all about party time.
22
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,834
{\an8}You know, I forgot how hectic
a law firm can be.
23
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:03,166
{\an8}I'm so glad you never work
so I have someone to lunch drink with.
24
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,583
{\an8}Hey, I work.
25
00:01:04,917 --> 00:01:07,291
{\an8}Like today, I was swimming in paperwork.
26
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:09,792
{\an8}Sounds conveniently nonspecific.
27
00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:11,834
{\an8}Tell me more.
28
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:13,875
{\an8}Hey, Dad. Where you going?
29
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,333
{\an8}Oh, nowhere, really.
I'm just gonna walk downtown.
30
00:01:16,417 --> 00:01:18,208
{\an8}By yourself? You want me to come?
31
00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,875
{\an8}We'll get some fro-yo, maybe see a movie.
32
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,166
{\an8}Nah. I'm sure you've got
a lot of work to do.
33
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,250
{\an8}Tons. I'm practically swimming
in paperwork over here.
34
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:26,333
{\an8}Shut up.
35
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,291
{\an8}All right. Well, uh, see ya.
36
00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,959
{\an8}- Does my dad look lonely?
- Yep.
37
00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:38,083
Nope. He sounded like he wanted
to get out of this house.
38
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,166
{\an8}He's very smart.
39
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:42,500
{\an8}Man, this mobile wine business
is stressful.
40
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:45,583
{\an8}I just got a cease and desist letter
from a wine shop owner saying
41
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,667
{\an8}I'm "infringing on the parameters
42
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:51,083
{\an8}of established commercial boundaries"?
43
00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:53,875
All right, let me see.
44
00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:58,417
This is just a scare tactic.
45
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,291
Come on. I'll destroy this loser.
46
00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,375
Great. Thanks.
47
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:05,792
{\an8}It's pretty cool how she can just turn
that on and off like that.
48
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,834
{\an8}Wow. Wonder if I could.
49
00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,291
{\an8}"I'm regular Jules. I'm happy.
50
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:15,000
{\an8}Ugh! I'm swimming in paperwork!"
51
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:17,834
{\an8}- Whose glasses are those?
- My dad's.
52
00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:20,792
{\an8}I can see into the future.
53
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,125
{\an8}I didn't know you and Stan
came to this park.
54
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:27,083
{\an8}Yeah. I need him to burn off
a little extra energy.
55
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:28,542
{\an8}You know, for the longest time,
56
00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:30,834
{\an8}I thought of parks as just
a place people went to get
57
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,583
{\an8}midnight sandbox B-jammers
and score drugs.
58
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,375
{\an8}I totally forgot they were for kids.
59
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,291
Hey, Stan, get out of the sandbox!
60
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,458
Andy, why are you over here by yourself?
61
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,333
Why aren't you hanging
with the other parents?
62
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:43,333
It'd be weird. I don't know anyone.
63
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:45,417
What about those moms over there?
64
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,625
Those are the Leahs.
They're all named Leah.
65
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:51,166
Except for Becca and Lynn.
66
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:54,208
{\an8}Oh, man, they got class
and style and buns to die for,
67
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:57,041
{\an8}and they do cool stuff
like go to art galleries
68
00:02:57,125 --> 00:02:59,083
and spin class and drink mojitos.
69
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:02,041
Someone's got a chub for the mom club.
70
00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:03,625
Don't be ridicu-Leah.
71
00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:07,417
That is actually a genius name
for a female rapper.
72
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,750
♪ What's up, y'all? I'm ridicu-Leah ♪
73
00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:11,500
♪ I drop more rhymes than... ♪
74
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:13,917
♪ Gonorrhea ♪
75
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:15,667
I don't know. Rap is really hard.
76
00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:19,208
Seeing my dad look lonely makes me realize
77
00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,458
how good people are in pairs.
78
00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:23,333
Feels like I'm about to hear
79
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,291
your latest
totally unnecessary obsession.
80
00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:27,917
- My dad needs a best buddy.
- And there it is.
81
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,542
Look, Jules, not everybody needs
to have people around
82
00:03:30,625 --> 00:03:32,458
- all the time.
- Yes, they do.
83
00:03:32,542 --> 00:03:35,208
Everyone does,
except for maybe serial killers.
84
00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:38,166
But they have people around
for a while... till they don't.
85
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:39,750
But then they find someone new.
86
00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:42,333
- Oh, you get my point.
- That serial killers need pals?
87
00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:44,542
No, that my dad needs a best buddy.
88
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:45,750
But it can't be me
89
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,000
because then he'd think
I just feel sorry for him.
90
00:03:48,083 --> 00:03:51,000
It's gotta be a guy,
someone--someone I can trust.
91
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:53,792
Someone nice, but not too nice.
My dad hates that.
92
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:57,417
Oh, someone who likes sports and beer...
93
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,792
Nope.
94
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,458
I'm not gonna be Chick's best buddy.
95
00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:01,917
I'll be best friends with your dad.
96
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:03,750
- My dad's still dead.
- I know a psychic.
97
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:07,250
Chick is great, OK?
But he's also cranky and gassy
98
00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:08,709
and 74 years old.
99
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,750
And I love him, but we're never
gonna be super pals
100
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,667
who go out for fro-yo on a tandem bike.
101
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:13,750
Mm.
102
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,834
You just heard "tandem bike," huh?
103
00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:17,583
Oh, you'd be so cute together.
104
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,959
Thanks for destroying
that wine shop guy for me.
105
00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:24,250
By the end, he looked so sad
and defeated.
106
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,375
I love making people look like that.
107
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,709
Here's a sentence I've never said before:
108
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,667
This is a nice van.
109
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,291
I know. It's comfortable, quiet.
110
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,959
Something about a moving car, just...
111
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,125
the subtle, repetitive "bump-bump...
112
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:44,333
bump-bump" of the road puts me at ease.
113
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,792
It's like you could open up
and share anything with anyone.
114
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,500
I'm overly aggressive at work
because secretly I'm afraid I'll fail.
115
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:56,125
I started a business to prove
I can do something without my mom.
116
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,041
Did you see that?
117
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:03,083
Leah just made a kale smoothie
with a portable blender.
118
00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:05,834
- Aw!
- If you're so into them,
119
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,834
why don't you just go hang out with them?
120
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:11,417
Me. With them. If only.
121
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:15,834
Just go up and say hi
with energy and confidence
122
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:18,625
and you show 'em your big personality.
Come on!
123
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:21,917
- I can do that. All right.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,834
- I'm going over.
- OK.
125
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,250
Hey, guys! How you doing? My name's Andy--
126
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:28,667
Uh!
127
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:29,792
- Oh!
- All right.
128
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,542
Oh, honey, no.
129
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,291
Sweetie,
130
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,625
- I'm sorry. That was...
- Humiliating.
131
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,709
I tripped and fell and knocked over
132
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:44,083
their pitcher of lemon and mint-infused
water that helps reduce belly fat.
133
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:46,417
It was so, so, so brutal...
134
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:48,375
until they helped me up
135
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,500
and invited me to go
power shopping with them!
136
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,875
- What's power shopping?
- I don't know, but I'm invited!
137
00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:55,083
- Yay!
- Yay!
138
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:56,250
Are they watching us now?
139
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,333
Yeah, and they look a little confused.
140
00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:00,458
Pretend this is part
of our workout. And go!
141
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,625
I'm so glad you're coming
to dinner with us, Dad.
142
00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:07,750
If their dessert tray looks good,
I'm saying it's my birthday.
143
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,250
Play along.
144
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,417
This is nice. I don't mind
three of us going out.
145
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:15,250
That's great. Three people is perfect.
146
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,208
OK, let's see what they got.
147
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,166
Oh! Excuse me.
148
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,542
Yes, hi, this is Jules Cobb.
149
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:27,333
Oh, what's that?
150
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,583
A real estate emergency?
151
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:33,125
- I'm on my way.
- Seriously?
152
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:36,125
You guys are gonna have to have
an amazing time without me. Sorry.
153
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:38,417
Wow. That is an emergency.
154
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,917
Yes, this is gonna take hours to fix!
155
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,041
Now, when the waiters sing
"Happy Birthday" to me,
156
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:46,166
need you to join in, big.
157
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:50,458
Uh-oh.
158
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,333
When you get nervous,
you break out Big Chuck,
159
00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:55,542
but when you get so nervous
you think you might break Big Chuck,
160
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:56,917
you improvise.
161
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,625
Well, I planned a dinner for me,
Grayson, and my dad.
162
00:06:59,709 --> 00:07:01,750
- Oh, nice.
- But then I faked a work emergency
163
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:03,542
so they could have a man-date together.
164
00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:05,917
And I just know Grayson's gonna
be really mad.
165
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,208
Setups never end well.
You should know that.
166
00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:11,458
One time, I tried to set up
my bunkmate from my first stint in juvie
167
00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:14,583
on a coffee date with my bunkmate
from my third stint in juvie.
168
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,083
I thought they'd really get along.
169
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:19,000
Both from Tampa. Both impulsive.
Both love fire.
170
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,208
Long story short,
that coffee shop no longer exists.
171
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,542
I regret
172
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:27,375
pulling the birthday stunt
on two different waiters.
173
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,083
That is an excessive amount of flan.
174
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,750
Good night.
175
00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:34,834
So how was dinner?
176
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,750
And besides the hat, it was good?
177
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:42,875
When you ran out,
178
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:45,083
on the worst fake phone call
I've ever heard...
179
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:48,709
I was so mad, I almost ordered a burrito.
180
00:07:49,291 --> 00:07:51,458
I would never take in that many carbs
unless I was rage eating.
181
00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:52,583
Of course.
182
00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:55,667
Mm, I could not have been more angry,
but then--
183
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,166
There's a "but then"?
What's the "but then"?
184
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,041
Chick told a joke
about you being Curious George.
185
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:00,125
you know, the ears.
186
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:03,625
Well, then Chick and I laughed
and started to talk and had fun.
187
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,250
We actually made plans for tomorrow.
188
00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,083
They're best friends! I knew it!
189
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:10,333
I'm the smartest person in the world!
I'm the smartest person in the world!
190
00:08:10,417 --> 00:08:11,458
Ah!
191
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,667
Wasn't Big Chuck.
192
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,709
I really am the smartest person
in the world.
193
00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:17,417
- Hello, Jelly.
- Oh, hi.
194
00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:19,375
Whenever I see you without your baby,
195
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,333
I feel like it's my duty to remind
you that you have a child
196
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,750
in case you've left it someplace.
197
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:26,417
Yes.
198
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,417
He is definitely with Jules.
199
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,875
- Oh, hey, Trav. How's it going?
- Ellie, hey.
200
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,333
OK, that's weird.
201
00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:36,709
Take a load off, ladies.
I'll take care of the mojitos.
202
00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:39,375
There's my trophy wife!
203
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:40,959
Five mojos, mofo.
204
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:44,041
These girls know all the gossip
of what's going on in town.
205
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:45,709
Who's hooking up with who,
206
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:49,375
what well-known tee ball coach
is on the down-low...
207
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,125
Jake Morton. Can you believe it?
208
00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:57,125
I'm supposed to be in court today,
but I got a ride here.
209
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,834
Oh. Well, I can give you a ride.
210
00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:01,166
I mean, if you want.
211
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,875
- Totally. Let's go for it.
- All right, see you guys.
212
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,000
I'm gonna hang here and watch
Andy turn into a Lulu mom.
213
00:09:07,542 --> 00:09:10,542
I put up walls 'cause I find
it easier than being vulnerable.
214
00:09:10,625 --> 00:09:12,792
The times I act sarcastic and indifferent
215
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:15,792
are just when I fear I have
nothing of value to offer.
216
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:21,709
OK. Courthouse.
217
00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:24,166
Wait. I got my dates confused.
218
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,208
I actually don't have court today.
219
00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:28,667
- Really?
- I'm such a goof sometimes.
220
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:30,375
No, don't worry about it.
221
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:33,208
I mean, no one is goofier than me.
222
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,750
Well, I guess I'll just... take you home?
223
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:40,291
If it's easier, I could, you know,
224
00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:42,917
ride around on your work stops with you.
225
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,709
Great. I mean, if that's cool with you?
226
00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:47,417
Totally, if it's cool with you.
227
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:48,500
Yeah.
228
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,000
I sneak butter into Andy's food
229
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:55,250
because his husky look turns me on.
230
00:09:57,417 --> 00:10:00,917
Two years ago, I was catfished
by a 47-year-old man on the Internet.
231
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:04,375
- It happens.
- Hey.
232
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,542
Jules, relax, OK?
233
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,000
You look like a 3-year-old
who has to go to the bathroom.
234
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:14,250
I'm just excited that
you and my dad are hanging out.
235
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:15,959
And yes, I also have to pee.
236
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:17,750
It's no big deal.
We're just going fishing.
237
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,750
My dad hardly ever takes anyone fishing.
238
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,291
My cousin Grits
once pulled him out of the path
239
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,208
of a speeding car and saved his life.
240
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,417
But did he take him fishing? Yes, he did.
241
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,542
Oh, that didn't support my point.
242
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:31,208
OK, son, let's hit the lake.
243
00:10:32,542 --> 00:10:34,959
Jeez, J-Bird, hit the can already.
244
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:37,083
I don't wanna miss you guys leaving!
245
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:38,500
Oh! Let's pose for a picture.
246
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:40,542
- You don't have a camera.
- I'll do it with my eyes.
247
00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,333
Ready? And smile.
248
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,250
Oh, that's a good one.
249
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,500
I really need to stop enabling
stuff like that.
250
00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:48,959
Bye!
251
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:50,250
Wow!
252
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,291
I am an awesome matchmaker.
253
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:55,583
Right now, Chick and Grayson are fishing,
254
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,959
being best buds, talking about...
255
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,166
Wait. What do guys talk about?
256
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,875
I think nicknames
for their penises, mostly.
257
00:11:02,959 --> 00:11:04,500
Wow. Guys are stupid.
258
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,875
Oh! Speaking
of amazing matchmaking skills,
259
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,875
check out my handiwork. Wha-bam!
260
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,834
♪ Drop it low, low, drop it low ♪
261
00:11:11,917 --> 00:11:14,875
♪ Drop, drop it low, drop it low ♪
262
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:18,041
♪ Drop it low, low, drop it low
Drop it low ♪
263
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:21,375
That is some impressive
choreographed walking.
264
00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:22,834
Do you think they practice that?
265
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:24,458
Oh, hey, guys.
266
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,542
Just out power shopping,
which, it turns out,
267
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:29,875
is power walking plus shopping.
268
00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:33,625
Often complemented with an iced coffee
or frozen kale-based drink.
269
00:11:33,709 --> 00:11:35,417
- That's magnificent.
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,875
Hey, bubble butt! Pick up the pace!
271
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:38,959
Coming, Leah!
272
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,041
Did she just call you "bubble butt"?
273
00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:42,959
Oh, it's a friendly nickname.
274
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:46,250
And let's face it,
papi's got back!
275
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:47,333
W--
276
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,583
Oh, I don't like the looks of this.
277
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:54,125
Since when can you drink kale?
278
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:58,250
I just feel like I can't share
anything personal with Andy.
279
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,041
Is that because he doesn't listen?
280
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:02,709
Oh, no, he listens hard.
281
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:03,917
Too hard.
282
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,000
If I say I had a bad day,
sometimes he cries.
283
00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,291
For hours.
284
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:11,583
The only way I can cheer him up
is to have sex with him. It's not fair.
285
00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,417
Yeah, I don't share
personal stuff with Laurie
286
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,250
because she always has
a story to one-up me.
287
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:18,458
It's easy talking to you.
We can have an actual conversation.
288
00:12:18,542 --> 00:12:19,542
Totally.
289
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,709
I mean, at first,
we were just talking about, you know,
290
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:23,834
work frustrations or whatever.
291
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:27,083
But now I feel like
I could talk to you about anything.
292
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:28,375
Definitely.
293
00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,166
- There's a mutual trust here.
- Mm-hmm.
294
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,959
You know, it's just you and me,
295
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:35,208
opening up about things
that we couldn't say to anyone else,
296
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:39,625
including the people
we're in actual relationships with.
297
00:12:41,375 --> 00:12:43,417
Oh, my God.
We're having an emotional affair.
298
00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:47,125
OK, should I get Dad
and Grayson BFF necklaces
299
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,709
or best friend t-shirts
with their picture on it?
300
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:52,583
Hey, Jules.
301
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:55,291
Um, when two guys go fishing,
302
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,792
they normally do that
at, like, water, right?
303
00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:00,208
Bruce Willis was all like...
304
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,125
Hi! What--?
305
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:05,792
What's up?
306
00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:07,250
I thought you and Chick were fishing.
307
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,709
Oh, hey, did Andy get in with the Leahs?
308
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,667
Lucky dog. These gals run this town.
309
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:19,041
I'm so mad at you, ditching my dad.
310
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:21,125
And yeah, I can be mad and eat.
311
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,250
I didn't ditch Chick.
312
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,709
We ditched each other.
It was a mutual ditch.
313
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:25,959
OK, so you both lied.
314
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:27,834
Now he's just wandering
the streets by himself
315
00:13:27,917 --> 00:13:29,750
because you were too selfish
to hang out with him.
316
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:32,250
Now, if he's missing,
I'm gonna have to call the police.
317
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,583
Jules, stop. He's not missing.
318
00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:37,166
He's fine. Come with me.
319
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,959
Oh, I guess our bro-date to the movies
doesn't mean anything.
320
00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:41,917
And now playing big fat idiot--
321
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,041
- Tom!
- No. No.
322
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:46,625
I'm so ashamed.
323
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:48,750
Don't be so hard on yourself, OK?
324
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,750
There were two of us in that van.
325
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,583
I've just been so stressed lately,
326
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,625
and there you were, all pale and asexual
327
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,500
and didn't seem remotely dangerous.
It just happened.
328
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,667
Well, in fairness,
329
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,834
you were the one who opened up first.
330
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,041
It was unexpected. It made me
lower my guard. I got sucked in.
331
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:10,375
Are you saying that
I emotionally seduced you?
332
00:14:10,709 --> 00:14:12,291
I didn't seduce you.
333
00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,500
If I seduced you, you would know it.
334
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,000
Please stop saying "seduced."
335
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:17,583
- Hi, guys.
- I didn't do anything!
336
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:21,250
I'll have, uh, anything
infused with cucumber.
337
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:25,000
I'm trying to cut back on my calories
and cucumber is awesome for your skin.
338
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:26,667
I love your skin.
339
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,291
I love you. Mwah!
340
00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,834
Dial it back.
341
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:32,291
- Hey, babe.
- I'm a good person.
342
00:14:32,375 --> 00:14:33,375
OK.
343
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:37,208
You know, the most horrible girl
I ever knew
344
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:40,291
was actually named "Goodperson."
345
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:42,250
So this one Halloween, we...
346
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,250
No.
347
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,333
Do not tell the Angel Goodperson story
anywhere near a child.
348
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,750
Andy, I wanna talk to you
about something really fast.
349
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,041
We have to stop sharing feelings.
350
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:56,083
- I can't live with the lies.
- I know.
351
00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:57,792
- It's filthy.
- Shameful.
352
00:14:57,875 --> 00:15:00,250
- I don't want it to stop.
- I'll get the van.
353
00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:02,458
About the mom club...
354
00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:03,542
You want in, right?
355
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:06,542
Sometimes, a pack of alpha bitches
356
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,500
will take on a new member.
357
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,250
Sort of... a Patsy.
358
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:13,041
Andy, you're their Patsy.
359
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:15,208
I'm... their fall guy?
360
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:17,083
What? No.
361
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,125
Patsy was a girl from high school
362
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:22,417
that my group of alpha bitches
took on as a new member.
363
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,917
We made her do stuff for us.
You know, like our homework
364
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,083
or bitch slap teachers
who were failing us.
365
00:15:27,166 --> 00:15:29,834
You're--you're crazy, the Leahs love me!
366
00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:31,709
That's why they let me
carry all their stuff
367
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:33,000
and call me "bubble butt."
368
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,166
I know they don't like me, Laurie.
369
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:38,250
I've always known.
370
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,667
Then why do you hang out with them?
371
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,667
Because I'm new
on the elementary school scene
372
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,917
and I don't have one parent friend.
373
00:15:45,542 --> 00:15:48,792
And I may be the Patsy of the group,
but at least I'm in the group, right?
374
00:15:49,375 --> 00:15:52,417
And to be honest, I think
I'm starting to earn their respect.
375
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:54,458
Hey, yoga in five.
376
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,208
We need you to carry our mats.
377
00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:57,291
At your service!
378
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:01,917
Dad, are you here?
379
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,041
Shoot. I could've sworn he said
380
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:08,125
he'd be here eating butterscotch
and watching Blue Bloods.
381
00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:10,083
Just like you could've sworn
he was at the V.F.W.
382
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:12,333
or the Boot Barn or the hardware store?
383
00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:14,875
You keep taking me places,
and he's not there.
384
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,083
Marlo's! Oh, of course!
385
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,583
This is the time of day
he always gets a hankering for fro-yo.
386
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:21,750
OK, stop it. I'm calling the police.
387
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,208
Jules, stop.
388
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,875
Your dad's fine, and I know where he is.
389
00:16:26,959 --> 00:16:29,583
And this time, I'm not just stalling
or intentionally wasting time
390
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,375
like I have been for the last two hours.
391
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,667
You've been taking me
on an angry goose chase?
392
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:36,750
No, I've been taking you
on a wild goose chase.
393
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:39,917
That's not a thing.
Why would anyone chase a wild goose?
394
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,917
Why would anyone chase an angry goose?
395
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,375
Because they stole your corn.
396
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,792
Jules, can you just trust me?
397
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:53,166
- Drive. I have a lot to unload today.
- Ellie...
398
00:16:54,834 --> 00:16:56,375
- I can't.
- Can't what?
399
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:58,667
I can't do this anymore.
400
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:02,875
After I left the pub, Laurie called
to finish the Angel Goodperson story.
401
00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:05,750
If she's sharing things with me,
how can I share with someone else?
402
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:07,333
Don't say it.
403
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:08,917
It's over.
404
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:12,625
You don't say it's over.
405
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:15,709
I will make your whole world
come crashing down.
406
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,500
Why would you wanna do that?
407
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:21,166
Oh. I'm sorry.
I just find threatening people relaxing.
408
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,667
You're right. I don't wanna
keep things from Andy,
409
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:28,000
even if I have to climb on top of him
to cheer him up when I'm sad.
410
00:17:29,041 --> 00:17:30,041
Yeah.
411
00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:32,583
You know all those deep,
personal things I told you?
412
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,917
I will never forget them.
413
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,583
I was gonna say,
414
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,709
do you know all the deep,
personal things I told you?
415
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,083
Forget them, or so help me God,
416
00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:42,917
I will catfish you again.
417
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,250
That was you?
418
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:54,291
Oh, well, well.
If it isn't the alpha bitches.
419
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:57,208
Go away.
420
00:17:57,291 --> 00:18:00,542
High school me
would've already destroyed you,
421
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,417
dismantling your bitch pack
422
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,875
and claiming your scattered,
newly orphaned bitches as my own.
423
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,333
Oh, no! Don't kill her, please. Please.
424
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,417
But I'm a mom now,
425
00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:11,875
and now my baby is old enough
to go outside,
426
00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:14,667
he's gotten his cradle cap
and baby acne under control,
427
00:18:15,041 --> 00:18:18,542
and I'm in the market
for a new mom friend.
428
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,750
You wanna join our cool yoga group?
429
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:27,083
No. I'm looking for someone
who's actually cool.
430
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,834
You know, fun, considerate,
431
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,834
and self-confident enough
that they don't need to parade around
432
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:35,083
like some pompous, snooty-ass bitch
433
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,875
who is so shallow and obnoxious
434
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:38,709
that it makes me wanna reach
around from behind
435
00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,750
and choke her with her own
badly installed implants.
436
00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:44,500
So I'm gonna be over there
doing some yoga-ing
437
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,333
and if anyone fits that description,
438
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,667
come and join me.
439
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:49,750
Sorry, baby.
440
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:51,583
She means me.
441
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:52,667
See ya!
442
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:57,625
Hey, what do you know?
443
00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,959
Vacant spot in the Leahs, a Tom...
444
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:01,333
This just makes sense.
445
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:05,959
Why'd you bring me to the park?
446
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:10,041
Well, Jules, you like to be involved
in the lives of the people you love.
447
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,542
Very, very involved.
448
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,834
Like the time you left
step-by-step instructions for Trav
449
00:19:14,917 --> 00:19:16,417
on the night he lost his virginity.
450
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,458
I wanted him to feel
I was right there by his side.
451
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:21,375
Sometimes, when a person
is making a big step,
452
00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:24,041
trying something a little difficult,
453
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:28,166
well, sometimes they're not ready
to share with other people.
454
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,750
♪ There's no hesitation ♪
455
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,583
♪ Oh, baby ♪
456
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,375
Why is my dad holding hands
with that stranger?
457
00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:39,834
Is she trying to steal his watch?
458
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,291
Jules, your dad is on a date.
459
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:45,000
My dad is on a date?
460
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,458
He's still trying
to get to know her.
461
00:19:46,542 --> 00:19:48,792
He wanted to take some time
and work some stuff out, but...
462
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,834
then you started to pry and ask questions
463
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:55,166
and forced us to go
on play dates together, so...
464
00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:58,250
Chick and I made a plan to play along.
465
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:00,291
You know, you doing all that for my dad,
466
00:20:00,959 --> 00:20:02,667
making a plan and having his back...
467
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,417
That's best buddy stuff.
468
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,250
Don't be ridiculous. Jules, seriously?
469
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,458
I had a cup of coffee and some wine.
470
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,041
- I'm gonna find you a bathroom.
- No, no, no.
471
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,875
Shh, shh. I don't wanna miss this.
472
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:15,000
OK, maybe I need a bush.
473
00:20:15,417 --> 00:20:16,917
- Or a cup. Get me a cup.
- OK, I'm gonna walk away.
474
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,750
Yeah, no, get me a cup. Come back!
475
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,959
Oh. Travis.
476
00:20:22,041 --> 00:20:23,291
Ellie. Hi.
477
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:24,542
- Hi. What are you up to?
- How are you?
478
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:25,625
Well...
479
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:27,709
Oh. I'm well.
480
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:29,917
Um, getting in the zone at work.
481
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:32,291
{\an8}You know. And you?
482
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,166
{\an8}The--The--The Winebulance?
483
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:37,125
{\an8}- No complaints.
- I'm just, um...
484
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:39,583
{\an8}here to get, uh... takeout.
485
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,166
{\an8}It was good to see you.
486
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,542
{\an8}And you.
487
00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,250
{\an8}Hey, maybe sometime we could...
488
00:20:47,709 --> 00:20:48,709
{\an8}Don't.
489
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,208
{\an8}Just don't.
37459
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof