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1
00:00:00,709 --> 00:00:03,000
Dad, I feel like we need to talk
about what happened.
2
00:00:03,083 --> 00:00:04,333
It was awful.
3
00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:06,291
Grayson and I reached
for the creamer
4
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,458
at the same time,
and for just a moment,
5
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,875
we were holding hands.
6
00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:12,041
I'm talking about
you stealing Bobby's boat
7
00:00:12,125 --> 00:00:13,625
and thinking that he and I
were still married.
8
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,917
Who's Bobby?
9
00:00:15,709 --> 00:00:16,709
Gotcha!
10
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:20,083
Oh, come on, June Bug.
11
00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:22,250
Everybody forgets stuff
once in a while, right?
12
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:25,083
Dad, forgetting
who your daughter is married to
13
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,458
is not a small detail.
14
00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:28,542
So... that's it, then.
15
00:00:29,041 --> 00:00:31,667
Time to walk me out in back
of the barn and shoot me.
16
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
I understand.
17
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:34,750
Come on, Dad. I'm serious.
18
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:37,417
I don't like you living
at that huge ranch by yourself.
19
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,000
I wish you lived
in the neighborhood,
20
00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:41,083
somewhere close, that I could
come visit you every day.
21
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,875
Well, I suppose it would be nice
not to have to keep up
22
00:00:43,959 --> 00:00:45,500
with all the work
out on the ranch.
23
00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:49,458
And if I was closer,
I could come by whenever I want,
24
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,709
drink your beer
and play slap-a-dope.
25
00:00:51,792 --> 00:00:53,417
- What's "slap-a-dope"?
- Oh!
26
00:00:53,917 --> 00:00:54,959
You still got it.
27
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,667
I can't believe
the dope fell for it.
28
00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:59,625
- Job well done.
- Oh, good.
29
00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:01,291
All right, June Bug.
Let's do it.
30
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:04,083
Start looking for a place for me
in the neighborhood.
31
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:05,542
Aww, Dad! Thank you!
32
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:07,083
Oh, that makes me so happy.
33
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,709
Oh, I wish I knew
a real-estate agent.
34
00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:11,542
- But I thought you--
- Gotcha!
35
00:01:13,917 --> 00:01:15,250
Oh, it's only funny
when he does it?
36
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:23,083
{\an8}I can't believe
Trav's college graduation
37
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,208
{\an8}is this weekend.
38
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:25,291
{\an8}If you could've seen
39
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,375
{\an8}that drunken,
hair-sprayed beach trash
40
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:30,500
{\an8}and the dip-spitting mullet head
who conceived that kid,
41
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:32,291
{\an8}you would never
have expected this.
42
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:33,458
{\an8}Which one were you?
43
00:01:33,542 --> 00:01:34,750
{\an8}I don't remember.
44
00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:36,333
{\an8}Okay, are we all set
for the ceremony?
45
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,500
{\an8}Yes, I've got the tissues,
the camera,
46
00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:40,917
{\an8}and I'm gonna be walking
with giant crutches
47
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,250
{\an8}that are actually
hollowed-out wine flasks.
48
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,166
{\an8}That way,
we get priority seating
49
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:47,125
{\an8}and a nice afternoon buzz.
50
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,125
{\an8}Laurie, I don't think
I've ever said this
51
00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,208
{\an8}and meant it, but... what-what!
52
00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:53,375
{\an8}This is gonna be
so much fun!
53
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,458
{\an8}What's gonna be fun?
54
00:01:55,542 --> 00:01:57,041
{\an8}Oh, Trav's graduation ceremony.
55
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,291
{\an8}What's the story?
What do I have to do?
56
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:00,959
{\an8}Nothing. we're good.
57
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:02,458
{\an8}Yeah.
58
00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:05,542
{\an8}So, I guess I'll just be
at the, uh, bar...
59
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,834
{\an8}- if you need me.
- See ya.
60
00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:11,000
{\an8}Hey, will you look over
these sketches for Trav's cake?
61
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:12,917
{\an8}Oh, what is this one?
62
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:15,458
{\an8}Is this you kissing
Trav's rolled-up diploma?
63
00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:17,083
{\an8}No, that's--that's
a weird doodle.
64
00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:18,250
{\an8}I-I don't know
how that got in there.
65
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,625
{\an8}So, Trav, graduation ceremony
is this weekend.
66
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,083
{\an8}- Pretty exciting.
- Yep.
67
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:25,250
{\an8}What I'm really excited for
68
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,583
{\an8}is seeing what gift
my dad gives me.
69
00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:29,834
{\an8}Well, it's gonna be hard
to beat the past gifts.
70
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,417
{\an8}For your preschool graduation,
71
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:34,917
{\an8}he built the sewer lair from
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
72
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,500
{\an8}in our actual sewer.
73
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:37,917
{\an8}We played Ninja Turtles
for three hours
74
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,750
{\an8}and got sick for five months.
75
00:02:39,834 --> 00:02:40,917
{\an8}Totally worth it.
76
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,333
{\an8}And then, for elementary school,
77
00:02:42,417 --> 00:02:44,250
{\an8}you took me
to my first pro-wrestling match.
78
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:46,625
{\an8}We saw Captain Carnage
win the title.
79
00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:49,083
{\an8}The world champion of western
central Florida, baby.
80
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:50,709
{\an8}That's a big area!
81
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,041
{\an8}That match is still one
82
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:53,500
{\an8}of my favorite
childhood memories.
83
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:55,291
{\an8}And for your high school
graduation,
84
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:58,208
{\an8}he got a 70-foot inflatable
gorilla with your face on it.
85
00:02:58,291 --> 00:02:59,375
{\an8}How do you top that?
86
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:01,041
{\an8}Just you wait, Bubbaroo.
87
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,291
{\an8}This will be
the most epic gift ever.
88
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,000
{\an8}Well, I got to get back to work.
89
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,959
{\an8}But I can't wait
to have my mind blown.
90
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,333
{\an8}Oh, it's gonna be
blown to pieces, baby!
91
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:10,875
{\an8}And those pieces
into smaller pieces! Whoo!
92
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:12,959
{\an8}You don't have anything,
do you?
93
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,125
{\an8}I mean, how do you top
a 70-foot inflatable gorilla?
94
00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,750
{\an8}You can't. I'm screwed.
95
00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:19,375
{\an8}I finally convince my dad
to move closer,
96
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:21,917
{\an8}and I can't find a single house
that's gonna work for him.
97
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,834
{\an8}Some of these
retirement communities are okay,
98
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:26,041
{\an8}but I don't know.
99
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:28,834
{\an8}Well, that one looks nice,
and look all the activities--
100
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,875
{\an8}Spinning, water aerobics, nautilus.
101
00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:33,166
{\an8}I would be in such killer shape
if I lived there.
102
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,250
{\an8}I just don't know
if this feels right for my dad.
103
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,500
{\an8}I mean, I don't know--
He's always been so independent,
104
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,083
{\an8}and I don't want
to take that away from him.
105
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:40,709
{\an8}Yeah, look, it'll work out.
106
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:42,583
You know,
maybe a great new house
107
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:43,875
will come on the market
or something.
108
00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:45,875
or maybe there's even
a conversation to be had
109
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,583
about your dad
coming to live with us.
110
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,625
Retirement communities, huh?
111
00:03:50,709 --> 00:03:53,291
I had my first "encounter"
at one of those.
112
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:55,208
I was in med school,
volunteering,
113
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:58,000
and Martha was having
her retirement party.
114
00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,208
Took me by the hand,
115
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,208
led me out
to the shuffleboard court.
116
00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:02,291
Let's just run.
117
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:06,959
Hey, Ellie.
What are you doing here?
118
00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:10,083
Um, I'm just seeing if Jules
wanted to grab some lunch.
119
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,792
Are those the, uh,
120
00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:14,125
graduation designs
for Trav's cake?
121
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,208
Yeah.
122
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:17,125
I wanted to do
a giant cake of his face,
123
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,333
but I couldn't figure out how
to get his dimpled chin right.
124
00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:20,625
Wait a minute!
125
00:04:21,083 --> 00:04:22,291
I've done
baby-shower cakes before.
126
00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:23,834
I can use my baby butt mold!
127
00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:26,917
It is amazing to watch
a true artist at work.
128
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,834
You're like Michelangelo.
129
00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:31,125
Mm. I think you mean
"Mikey Angelo,"
130
00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:32,709
the guy from Pizza Palace.
131
00:04:32,792 --> 00:04:34,458
But that guy is a hack.
132
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,417
Yeah, goat cheese on pizza?
133
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,625
It's not 1985,
134
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:39,291
and your name's
not Wolfgang Puck.
135
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:42,208
So, uh, you and Jules
seem pretty busy
136
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:43,917
with this graduation stuff.
137
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,625
Yeah, it's been pretty crazy,
but a lot of fun.
138
00:04:45,709 --> 00:04:46,875
She and I are--
139
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:48,041
Wait a minute.
140
00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,583
You feel left out.
141
00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,750
Trav's graduation
is such a big deal for Jules,
142
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,250
but you're on the sidelines.
143
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:57,250
Have I passed you
as Jules' best friend?
144
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,542
Oh, please.
145
00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:00,083
Jules and I
have been best friends
146
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,959
for a million years.
147
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:05,250
She cut Stan's umbilical cord
when Andy passed out.
148
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:08,208
And when she and I kiss,
we kiss on the lips.
149
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,875
Oh. Mm. Okay.
150
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:12,333
Laurie, we forgot to schedule
our manis and pedis.
151
00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:14,000
We'll never get an appointment
this late.
152
00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:17,041
Well, it's a good thing
I thought ahead and booked us
153
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:18,500
a spa day!
154
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:21,417
Laurie, you're the best!
I love you!
155
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:23,834
- Mm.
- Mm.
156
00:05:23,917 --> 00:05:25,250
- Oh!
- Hey, Ellie.
157
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:26,709
Hi.
158
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,166
Chick. It's good to see you...
159
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,458
with suitcases, moving boxes,
160
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,250
and a... grocery bag
full of hard candies?
161
00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:38,875
Surprise! We did it!
162
00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:40,750
I told Dad what you said
about him moving in,
163
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,000
and he said yes!
164
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,250
What?
165
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:44,709
To show my gratitude,
166
00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:46,750
I will allow you to hug me.
167
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,333
Aww, he's just shy!
Get in there, honey!
168
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,125
Oh, yeah, there you go!
169
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,125
Come on,
you dumb son of a bitch.
170
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:58,125
The show's been on
for 30 years.
171
00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:00,959
Answer in the form
of a question!
172
00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:03,583
How amazing is this?
173
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:04,875
It's perfect!
174
00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:07,083
Yeah, I don't know
about perfect, but...
175
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,166
Of course it is!
176
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,000
And it was all your idea.
177
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,125
June Bug!
178
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:12,417
Yeah?
179
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,291
Where should I hang Molly?
180
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,959
Did you know
some older men's noses
181
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,375
whistle constantly?
182
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:24,166
Around the clock, never stop.
Why is that?
183
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,959
I think it's just normal wear
and tear, like brakes on a car.
184
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:28,375
And I don't need to know
185
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,667
when a guy's headed
to the bathroom, okay?
186
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,500
Be discreet.
Don't make a big show
187
00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:33,959
of putting a newspaper
under your arm
188
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:35,542
And saying "Anchors away."
189
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,166
Hey, everybody.
190
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,709
look who it is-- Second Place.
191
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,291
The Silver Medal.
192
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:46,125
Jules' Best Friend, part two:
Electric Boogaloo.
193
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,792
You found the one way
to surpass me--
194
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,917
By cozying up to Trav
195
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,041
and banging your way
up the friend ladder.
196
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,208
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
197
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,291
I should have banged you
years ago!
198
00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,250
Say what?
199
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,083
Hi. I'm your husband.
Have we met?
200
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:03,125
I could still do it, you know?
201
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:05,417
Seduce Trav,
steal him away from you,
202
00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:09,333
and then I could just hump
my way back into first place.
203
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,959
Trav, come here.
204
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:13,500
Let me show you
how a real woman makes out.
205
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:16,083
Can I get a shot and a beer?
206
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:18,291
When an older guy
blows his nose,
207
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:19,667
it's like an air horn.
208
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,792
And how many times
do you get to use a handkerchief
209
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,166
before you have to wash it?
210
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,375
I'm leaving.
211
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,166
Trav.
212
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:29,667
You know where I'll be,
don't you?
213
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:34,875
Bye, Number Two!
214
00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:38,458
Oh, Chick. You're up.
215
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:42,041
So, I didn't imagine
all those farts and sneezes.
216
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,709
Yeah, I'm always up.
217
00:07:43,792 --> 00:07:44,917
What about you?
218
00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:48,417
Oh, sometimes when I need
a little alone time,
219
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,041
I'll pop down here
in the middle of the night,
220
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:52,583
Just me and my guitar--Quiet.
221
00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:53,792
Alone.
222
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:55,083
Boom!
223
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,166
Take that, you Nazi bastards.
224
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,500
Really loving
the history channel, huh?
225
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:04,041
I'm watching World War II's
greatest explosions.
226
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:08,417
Next program is gonna reveal
who really killed JFK.
227
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,917
Lee Harvey Oswald?
Acting alone?
228
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,875
That might be the stupidest
damn thing I ever heard.
229
00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:17,375
Hey! Late-night hang sesh?
230
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,542
Make room for J-Bird!
231
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,542
Well, I actually
just came down here to play
232
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:23,625
a little guitar.
233
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,500
Take that, you Nazi bastards!
234
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:29,208
Allied forces rule!
235
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,500
Oh, yeah!
236
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,166
I'll be out in the shed.
237
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,291
Dad, next, they're gonna tell us
who really killed JFK.
238
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:39,375
Grayson thinks it was Oswald--
Acting alone.
239
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,291
Oh, boy.
240
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,625
Oh, my gosh!
That's so stupid!
241
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,375
Heigh-ho, Silver Medal.
What are you doing here?
242
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,000
It's 9:00 a.m.
You're never up this early.
243
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:51,333
Just had a coffee craving.
That's all.
244
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,709
Why are you wearing
that sweater?
245
00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:55,083
It's not cold out.
246
00:08:55,792 --> 00:08:56,792
Wait a minute.
247
00:08:57,959 --> 00:08:59,667
That's Jules'
favorite sweater on you.
248
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,583
It's the one she says
makes your boobs pop.
249
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,125
Jules likes this sweater?
I did not realize.
250
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,750
I am just wearing it
'cause it's so comfy cozy.
251
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:10,417
You're trying to score
Jules points, aren't you?
252
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,125
I'm not. I'm just having--
253
00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:13,208
Cool it, Number Two!
254
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,792
I'm Jules' BFF.
255
00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:17,041
A statement that if put to song
and dance
256
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:18,583
would sound something like this.
257
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,542
♪ I'm Jules' BFF! ♪
258
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,166
♪ I'm Jules' BFF! ♪
259
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:24,166
♪ I'm Jules' BFF! ♪
260
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:25,959
♪ I'm Jules' BFF! ♪
261
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,166
♪ I'm Jules' bf-- ♪
262
00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:33,500
Man, we had so many great ideas
for Trav's gift.
263
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:35,458
I can't believe they all
turned out to be impractical.
264
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,125
Ahh, the monkey-filled clown car
was genius.
265
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:41,000
Who knew it'd be so hard to get
30 monkeys on short notice?
266
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:42,709
Well, we can't miss
with this idea.
267
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:45,041
Just get a crapload of fireworks
and light up that ceremony
268
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,500
like it was Independence Day.
269
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,166
The movie, not the holiday.
270
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:49,917
Hi, guys. How you doing?
271
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,166
You got anything
that we can shoot up
272
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,709
into the sky and spell out
"Congratulations, Travis.
273
00:09:53,792 --> 00:09:55,750
We're all so proud of you.
Way to go, buddy"?
274
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,375
Uh, no.
275
00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,500
But this one spins on the ground
when you light it.
276
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:02,333
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
we need something with more pop.
277
00:10:02,417 --> 00:10:04,500
We literally want
to blow people's socks off.
278
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:05,917
We need to see
the illegal stash.
279
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:14,458
We'll take all of it!
280
00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,000
Stolen police badge, huh?
How much?
281
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,667
Oh, man! You try to up-sell us
with the handcuffs.
282
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:24,125
That's how
they always get you.
283
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,166
Oh. now you're all into
the History Channel, too?
284
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:31,083
The Allies are kicking
some serious ass today.
285
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,625
You know, if you really think
about the JFK assassination--
286
00:10:33,709 --> 00:10:36,667
I don't have to. It was Oswald.
287
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:37,750
What's wrong with you?
288
00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:40,792
Nothing. It's just
that the house now--
289
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:44,375
It always smells like
liver and onions and cigars,
290
00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:46,125
and the heat's turned up to 90,
291
00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,166
and the volume's all the way up
on the TV,
292
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,375
and Chick's always yelling
at it.
293
00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:50,709
Yeah, he is a character.
294
00:10:50,792 --> 00:10:52,083
No, he's annoying!
295
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,458
And why does he always
have to use our bathroom?
296
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,208
'Cause he says
the softer seat helps him
297
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:57,333
with the strain of his--
298
00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:59,667
Stop! Stop. I don't--Ugh.
299
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:01,375
I don't understand
why you're so upset.
300
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:02,834
I mean, yes,
my dad can be a handful,
301
00:11:02,917 --> 00:11:04,792
but you still wanted him
to move in with us.
302
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,834
No! I didn't!
303
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,458
I said we could discuss it,
and then we didn't.
304
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:11,041
You just went
and made it happen,
305
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:13,375
and now he's here,
and if I don't put up with it,
306
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:15,542
I'm suddenly the bad guy!
307
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:18,834
Exactly.
308
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:21,458
Now I am.
I'm--I'm the bad guy.
309
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:26,792
Jules!
310
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,750
Dad, I didn't know
you were in there.
311
00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:29,834
Did you just hear all that?
312
00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:31,125
Yeah. I heard.
313
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:32,583
Where's the plunger?
314
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:38,000
Dad, I'm so sorry
you had to hear all that.
315
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,625
Grayson didn't mean
what he said.
316
00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:41,417
He complains all the time.
317
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,125
I mean, to be honest,
he's kind of a little bitch.
318
00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:45,750
Please don't be upset.
319
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:48,875
Don't worry about me.
I got a thick skin.
320
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,208
But I don't want you
to feel unwelcome.
321
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:52,750
I mean, we both want you here.
322
00:11:52,834 --> 00:11:55,792
Jules, if your husband
wants me here,
323
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,333
he's out of his damn mind.
324
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:02,291
Your mom's dad--
Your grandpa Marty--
325
00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:04,709
He came to stay with us
for a while
326
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:05,750
when you were a little girl.
327
00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:09,166
Oh, yeah. He used to sit
on the front porch in his boxers
328
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,750
and eat pickles
and... curse at birds.
329
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:14,291
Marty was not a bright man.
330
00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:18,166
But having him there with us
made your mom happy,
331
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,917
and I loved her so much,
it was worth it.
332
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,750
You were a great husband.
333
00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,291
So is Grayson.
334
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:28,250
That's why he's making an effort
to put up with me--
335
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,625
Because he loves you.
336
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,875
He's pretty amazing, isn't he?
337
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:34,959
During the time
I've been here with you,
338
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:36,750
have you told him that?
339
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,667
Well, well, well.
Look who it is.
340
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:44,750
Cakezilla.
341
00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,750
Laurie, I'm so, so sorry.
342
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:49,166
I should not have smashed
your cake.
343
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,166
Why did you freak out like that?
344
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,750
I was just giving you
a hard time.
345
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:55,166
I didn't expect you to go
all silverback on me.
346
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:58,417
I know. I just think
you touched on a sore spot.
347
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,291
I'm actually not bothered
348
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,208
that you and Jules
have become closer.
349
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:04,125
I just feel like
she has so many things
350
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:05,750
going on in her life right now
351
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,041
that I'm not a priority to her.
352
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,166
What--Are you crazy?
You're always a priority.
353
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:13,583
Seriously, it goes
"wine, Travis, you."
354
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,542
And sometime, when Travis
is being really annoying
355
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,166
about some boring
photography thing,
356
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,709
I swear
it's "wine, you, Travis."
357
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,500
He can be an irritating nerd.
358
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,291
And even if it sometimes
seems like
359
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,291
I might have passed you
on Jules' list,
360
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,250
it's only because
I'm sleeping with her son.
361
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:29,750
And that's basically cheating.
362
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:31,166
That's true.
363
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:33,834
I earned my spot,
and you slutted your way in.
364
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:36,625
Thank you, Laurie.
365
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,750
I'm sorry
if it was so much to clean up.
366
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,834
Clean it up? No, honey,
I left right after you did.
367
00:13:41,917 --> 00:13:44,125
So, we just left her kitchen
covered in cake?
368
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:46,583
Should we blame Bobby?
369
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,041
- Yes. Done.
- Yeah. Okay.
370
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,083
- Let's get you some wine.
- Please.
371
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:52,542
Man, I can't believe
we got arrested.
372
00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:54,375
Undercover 5-0, man.
373
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,417
So, Trav's graduating tomorrow,
and I still got nothing.
374
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,417
Well, maybe you're
approaching this wrong.
375
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,083
What's graduation about, really?
376
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:04,000
Going to a party
and finally telling
377
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,750
that really cute girl
from your psych class
378
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,208
that you love her and would do
anything to be with her
379
00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:10,458
and laughing
and pretending it was all a joke
380
00:14:10,542 --> 00:14:12,792
when her muscular
Swedish boyfriend walks up?
381
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,959
On the surface, sure,
but it's also a milestone--
382
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,375
A time to consider
not just where you're going,
383
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,458
but where you've been.
384
00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:21,875
It's treasured memories--
385
00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:25,166
Birthday parties,
little league games,
386
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:26,542
your first kiss,
387
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:31,166
the taste of grape bubblegum
on Cindy Llewellyn's lips.
388
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,417
It's nostalgia.
389
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,625
I know what to get Trav!
Captain Carnage!
390
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:41,917
His favorite wrestler!
He lives here in Florida!
391
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,417
I'm gonna track
that son of a bitch down
392
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,625
and get him to graduation!
393
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:47,000
Right. I don't have much time
to make this happen.
394
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:50,500
Ando, I need you to keep working
on plan "B" in case I fail.
395
00:14:50,583 --> 00:14:52,875
- I will, Bobby. I will.
- W-What do you want me to do?
396
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,709
Just keep being beautiful, baby!
397
00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:56,959
- Hey.
- Oh, hey! Jules!
398
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,166
How'd you know I was here?
399
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,000
Well, whenever we're in a fight
400
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,583
and you don't know
who screwed up more,
401
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,750
you come here,
you get a dozen cupcakes,
402
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,917
and you decide whether
you should give them to me
403
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,834
and apologize or you should
eat them yourself
404
00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:09,375
because you're so upset.
405
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,500
I was so conflicted.
406
00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:17,375
I'm gonna have to do
so many crunches.
407
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,083
Jules, I'm really sorry
I blew up at you.
408
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,083
No, honey. This is my fault.
409
00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:23,458
I should have talked to you more
410
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,041
before asking Dad
to move in with us.
411
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,041
I just--I got so excited
412
00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:28,709
at the fact that you said
it was an option
413
00:15:28,792 --> 00:15:31,166
that I started to really believe
that's what you wanted.
414
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:32,333
I was being selfish.
415
00:15:32,417 --> 00:15:34,291
I do want him
to move in with us.
416
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:35,375
No, you don't.
417
00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:37,625
And you shouldn't.
that would be crazy.
418
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,250
I mean, it would make me
so happy
419
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,458
To have dad live with us,
420
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,333
but that is not
a good enough reason.
421
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,917
No, you're wrong.
it's the perfect reason.
422
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:49,250
Jules, making you happy
is more important to me
423
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,709
than anything in the world,
424
00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:52,917
so that's why
we're gonna do this.
425
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,291
That's why
he's gonna move in with us.
426
00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:56,291
Because I love you so much
that I j--
427
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:57,583
Mm.
428
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:02,333
Jules, people are watching us.
429
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:04,375
Mm. I'm so turned on.
430
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:06,583
- Mm. I don't care.
- Oh, really?
431
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,166
Oh, my God!
432
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,542
Ellie! Come over here
so I can see
433
00:16:13,625 --> 00:16:14,709
what you're wearing today!
434
00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,375
You care what I wear?
435
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:19,125
Of course!
It's Trav's college graduation!
436
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:22,166
You'll be standing next to me
in every single picture.
437
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,875
- I will?
- Who else would I be standing
438
00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,458
next to? My husband?
439
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:28,709
And when I get so happy
that I have to kiss someone,
440
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:30,834
- I'm grabbing you.
- Not Laurie?
441
00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:32,917
No! She's way too aggressive.
442
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,250
It's like putting your mouth
443
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,792
on the nozzle
of a gas-station vacuum.
444
00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:38,291
I'll go get my best outfit.
445
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:39,709
Something
that makes your boobs pop.
446
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:40,875
You know, like mine.
447
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:41,959
Okay!
448
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:45,500
Well, this is nice,
449
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,166
Being here
for my grandson's graduation.
450
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,125
Too bad he's graduating
from art school.
451
00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:54,750
I hear his macaroni-necklace
final was a killer.
452
00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:00,458
Look, Chick, um...
about what I said...
453
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:02,917
You were just venting.
454
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:06,917
And you have every right.
I'm not an easy houseguest.
455
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,041
Well... yeah. You're a handful.
456
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:13,917
But you're family, Chick.
And we care about you.
457
00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:16,291
And I'm glad you're there.
458
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:20,291
You're a good man, Grayson.
Jules is lucky to have you.
459
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,750
The mafia didn't kill JFK.
460
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,125
- Did so.
- Did not.
461
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,250
So, this side is the red one.
462
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:31,709
Right is red, left is white.
463
00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:33,333
Red is right.
464
00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,125
- Ooh!
- Hey.
465
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,125
Laurie, take a picture of me
and Ellie.
466
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:39,083
- Okay.
- And "cheese!"
467
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:40,917
Oh, it's a good one.
468
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,583
I think we should call it
"Best Friends Forever."
469
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:44,917
I like it.
470
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,083
She likes it.
471
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,166
Thanks for telling me
she was upset.
472
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,875
Of course.
What are best friends for?
473
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,458
- Oh, don't start.
- I'm kidding. Come on. let's go.
474
00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:54,542
Whew!
475
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:57,041
Bobby! There you are!
The ceremony's about to start!
476
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:58,208
I've been to Tampa and back.
477
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,250
I've been in three different
gyms, four different bars,
478
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,625
two Piggly Wigglys,
and an alligator farm,
479
00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:02,709
but I got him!
480
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,000
Captain Carnage, baby!
481
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:06,083
Thanks for having me.
482
00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:08,583
You know, I have a real respect
for education.
483
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:10,750
Knowledge is power.
484
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,083
There's a slight problem.
485
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,625
You know,
when I didn't hear from you,
486
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:15,625
I-I went with my backup plan.
487
00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:16,834
What was that?
488
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,083
Big Daddy Payne.
489
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,166
- Carnage.
- Oh, you brought BDP?
490
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,250
He and the Captain
are mortal enemies, man.
491
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,291
Oh. well, they're actors.
It's not real.
492
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,583
Hey, what part
of "Loser leaves town"
493
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,959
Don't you understand, BDP?
494
00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:32,542
Understand this, Carnage--
495
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,959
I'm gonna kick your ass!
496
00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:36,250
Not if I kick yours first!
497
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:37,875
Whoa! Oh, whoa!
498
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:43,000
BDP! Carnage!
Man, chill out!
499
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:44,750
They're gonna ruin
Travis' graduation!
500
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,000
Then we have to stop them.
501
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,333
Dad, what--What's going--
502
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:53,458
- Whoa!
- Ando!
503
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,709
Oh, it is on now!
I'm coming, guys!
504
00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,333
Got the rifle,
and, yeah, that's hard,
505
00:19:03,417 --> 00:19:04,625
but it's one guy.
506
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:05,917
It could still--
It could happen.
507
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,583
All right! Let's do thi--
508
00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:16,875
Well, this ceremony
just got so much better.
509
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,166
Aah!
510
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,417
Bagh! Who's next?!
511
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:24,208
BDP!
512
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:25,875
Is that Big Daddy Payne?
513
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,750
He once signed my boobs
at an auto show.
514
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,333
I saw a lot of these brawls
when I was a kid.
515
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,125
Usually, my mom went home
with the winner.
516
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,458
You two are such white trash.
517
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:35,709
That's not what I--
518
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,917
I mean, somebody went to Oswald.
519
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,417
Aah! Aah!
520
00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,125
Did you do this?
521
00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:49,291
I just wanted to give you
an awesome graduation present.
522
00:19:49,375 --> 00:19:51,417
- I'm so sorry.
- Sorry for what?
523
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:53,583
This is amazing!
524
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:54,709
- It is?
- Yes!
525
00:19:54,792 --> 00:19:56,583
You tracked down
my favorite wrestlers!
526
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:59,458
I got to see my dad take a chair
to Captain Carnage's face!
527
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,375
This is your most impressive
gift yet.
528
00:20:03,709 --> 00:20:05,458
What? I gotta get back
in there, son.
529
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:08,041
Happy graduation! Whoo!
530
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:12,709
Whoo!
531
00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,792
{\an8}Whew! that was an epic rumble.
532
00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:17,291
{\an8}A real slobberknocker.
533
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,208
{\an8}Captain Carnage bit me.
534
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:21,834
{\an8}He blew a cloud of chili powder
in my face.
535
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:24,166
{\an8}How did he have chili powder
on him?
536
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,875
{\an8}Was he anticipating a brawl,
or does he just walk around
537
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,834
{\an8}with chili powder in his pocket?
538
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,417
{\an8}We're forming a three-man
pro-wrestling tag team,
539
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:32,500
{\an8}Aren't we?
540
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,041
{\an8}We'll call ourselves
the Flying Dandies.
541
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,875
{\an8}I'm gonna wear a lion's head
around my regular head,
542
00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:40,375
{\an8}and I'm gonna hail
from the parts unknown!
543
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,792
{\an8}I'm gonna get a shiv
and stab Captain Carnage.
544
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:50,291
{\an8}Was he talking about
our wrestling team,
545
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,542
{\an8}or is he actually gonna go stab
Captain Carnage?
546
00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:56,417
{\an8}Tom? Tom! tom!
40450
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