Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,291 --> 00:00:03,291
♪ Ah, you take one down,
you pass it around ♪
2
00:00:03,417 --> 00:00:06,875
♪ 91 bottles
of beer on the wall ♪
3
00:00:06,959 --> 00:00:08,542
Yeah, whoo-hoo-hoo!
4
00:00:08,625 --> 00:00:13,542
All right, now, let's get
these groceries on the bo--
5
00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:14,917
Boat?
6
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,458
Boat? No. Boat?
7
00:00:17,542 --> 00:00:21,750
Bo...
8
00:00:28,041 --> 00:00:30,417
{\an8}You know, if they keep
making computers smarter,
9
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,792
{\an8}then it's only a matter
of time before the computers
10
00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:35,500
{\an8}realize they're smarter than us
and take over.
11
00:00:35,583 --> 00:00:36,959
{\an8}Jules, we have to do something.
12
00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:38,250
{\an8}Definitely!
13
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:42,125
{\an8}Hmm...
14
00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:44,583
{\an8}Hey, guys. How'd it go?
15
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:47,500
{\an8}I asked the kid to help me
clean out my garage,
16
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,875
{\an8}I do all the work,
and he noses around,
17
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:52,083
{\an8}looking for vintage
collectibles.
18
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:53,875
{\an8}Laurie, check it out...
19
00:00:53,959 --> 00:00:55,000
{\an8}saddle.
20
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:57,333
{\an8}We can mount this on a tripod,
21
00:00:57,417 --> 00:01:00,291
{\an8}make, like,
a funky Western stool
22
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:04,250
{\an8}Or we could make, like,
funky Western-style trash.
23
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,458
{\an8}Honey, don't get
all artsy-fartsy on me.
24
00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:08,250
{\an8}You know I'm gonna go
to target for everything.
25
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,917
{\an8}I'm redoing my condo,
and Trav's helping me.
26
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,041
{\an8}Wait, you're helping her
27
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:14,750
{\an8}redecorate her condo?
28
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:18,041
{\an8}That's a guaranteed
young-couple-fight scenario.
29
00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:20,250
{\an8}I'm getting out of here
before somebody throws a lamp.
30
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,458
{\an8}- Bye, Dad.
- Bye.
31
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:22,542
{\an8}Love you.
32
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,875
{\an8}Jules, your dad seems
like he's doing really great.
33
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,166
{\an8}He is! You know,
when he was first diagnosed
34
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,458
{\an8}with Alzheimer's a year ago,
I was so nervous,
35
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:32,875
{\an8}But Chick hasn't changed a bit.
36
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,375
{\an8}B-- Bobby come home! boat gone!
37
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:37,250
{\an8}Slow down, honey.
What'd you say?
38
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,125
{\an8}Boat. Gone.
Someone stole my boat!
39
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:42,750
{\an8}They got my boat,
and they got my stuff.
40
00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:46,458
{\an8}Oh, my stuff!
41
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,500
{\an8}I need a drink.
42
00:01:50,583 --> 00:01:52,583
{\an8}- Tough day?
- No. Why?
43
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:55,750
{\an8}Make it a double.
44
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,875
{\an8}I have this new supervisor
at work,
45
00:01:57,959 --> 00:01:59,709
{\an8}and I can't seem
to win his respect.
46
00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,375
{\an8}Thought the Burt Reynolds look
would do it,
47
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:03,417
{\an8}but I put it on upside down.
48
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,875
{\an8}Ow! Mm!
49
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:09,625
{\an8}I can't get any big accounts,
50
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,750
{\an8}but it's like this guy's on
a different level than me.
51
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:14,542
{\an8}Sounds like a perfect
candidate for the neg.
52
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:15,709
{\an8}What's the neg?
53
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:18,083
{\an8}It's a pickup technique
where you flip the power dynamic
54
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,667
{\an8}with a girl who's out
of your league.
55
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:22,250
{\an8}I used to teach a seminar
about how to pick up chicks.
56
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:25,250
{\an8}I called it "Picking up chicks
with Grayson."
57
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:29,333
{\an8}I hope the seminar
was less lame than the title.
58
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:32,750
{\an8}I call that
"Ripping on d-bags with Ellie."
59
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:38,000
{\an8}If you know how I can turn
things around with my boss,
60
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,250
{\an8}You have to tell me.
61
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,500
{\an8}I don't teach
the dark arts anymore.
62
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:42,959
{\an8}I hung up my leather bracelet
63
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,667
{\an8}and single-hoop earring
long ago.
64
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,208
{\an8}Grayson, I need this.
You may be my only hope.
65
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,208
{\an8}- Show me your ways.
- Very well.
66
00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:52,041
{\an8}Return to this spot when
the sun sets below the horizon
67
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,208
{\an8}and the creatures
of the night take flight.
68
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:57,583
{\an8}- So... like 7:00, 7:15?
- 7:30?
69
00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:58,750
{\an8}- Yeah.
- OK.
70
00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:00,333
{\an8}Well, I'm proud of us.
71
00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:02,166
{\an8}Everyone said that we would
fight picking out stuff
72
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,750
{\an8}for my apartment,
but we were perfect.
73
00:03:05,917 --> 00:03:08,542
{\an8}Definitely better than
that amateur couple
74
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:11,417
{\an8}fighting in housewares,
I mean, over dish towels?
75
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,083
- Choose your battles, people.
- I know.
76
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,166
Other than in a cartoon,
77
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:15,250
I don't think I've ever seen
someone
78
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,208
get hit over the head
with a frying pan. Pow!
79
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:19,542
I love that we totally agree
about everything.
80
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,834
I know, right?
81
00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:23,625
Ooh.
82
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,125
What, you're gonna put
that there?
83
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,166
Where else would I put it?
84
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,458
Maybe somewhere that doesn't
make me want to throw up.
85
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:38,208
A low-priority case?
That was my home!
86
00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,792
Yeah, I lived on a boat
in a parking lot.
87
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:42,083
Laugh it up, boys.
88
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,959
Dang. The cops ain't gonna
be any help.
89
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:47,375
A missing boat's
the kind of case
90
00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:49,500
that Blacktop and Gumshoe
would tackle.
91
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:52,250
When Bobby and I were married,
we used to solve crimes.
92
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,917
Now, you're never gonna guess
why I was called Blacktop.
93
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,125
You have black hair.
94
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:57,750
I have black hair! Well--
95
00:03:57,834 --> 00:04:00,291
Yeah, and I was Gumshoe
because I stepped on gum a lot.
96
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:02,208
And together,
we solved the mystery
97
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:03,834
of who was eating our oranges.
98
00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:05,792
It was a monkey
who escaped from the zoo.
99
00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:08,875
And we solved the mystery of who
was stealing our newspaper.
100
00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:10,041
The monkey again?
101
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,125
Turns out,
we didn't have a subscription.
102
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,250
How did they not do that case
on "Law & Order"?
103
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,959
Gumshoe, I have
a mystery for you.
104
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:19,834
Now that your boat's gone,
where you gonna live?
105
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:21,709
Ooh, I haven't thought
about that.
106
00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:24,291
Maybe I could, uh, sleep
in my friend Bitch-Slap's car,
107
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:27,083
or I could just make a tent
from a stick and a bed sheet.
108
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,792
Oh, Bobby, that's crazy.
You can stay with us.
109
00:04:29,875 --> 00:04:31,041
Uh, here?
110
00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:32,417
I don't know, Bobby.
111
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,083
A bed-sheet tent
sounds pretty cool.
112
00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:36,041
Come on, you're staying with us.
113
00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:38,250
Aww! Thanks, Jules!
114
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,291
Hey! Come on, boys! New digs!
115
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:44,166
Yeah!
116
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,750
I got you.
117
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,333
Impressing a superior male
is no different
118
00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:51,500
than hitting on a chick
who's out of your league.
119
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,500
You can use subtle,
subconscious cues
120
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,917
to give you the upper hand.
121
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:59,291
Lowering your voice half
an octave conveys confidence,
122
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:00,875
a gentle, reassuring touch
123
00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,333
to the shoulder disarms
your prey, and then...
124
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,333
the neg.
125
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:08,583
An insult disguised
as a compliment
126
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:10,792
that lowers the self-esteem
of your prey,
127
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:15,291
making them want to impress you.
128
00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:16,375
Watch.
129
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:17,959
Hey, there.
130
00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:19,166
Hey.
131
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:28,750
That's a great outfit.
132
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:30,417
Most women would be worried
133
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,041
they'd look desperate
in that thing.
134
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,625
Let's get out of here.
135
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,750
Sorry, I've got
to tend to the bar.
136
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,375
Is there a back room we can use?
137
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,208
I said sorry.
138
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,083
Oh, yes!
139
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:47,917
I am gonna take Mr. Peterson
to the back room!
140
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,917
In a-- in a business
sense.
141
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,375
Not for sex.
142
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,667
So, Bobby's been here,
what, eight hours?
143
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,000
How do you think it's going?
144
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,166
Well, I think
it's been interesting.
145
00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,250
Aww.
146
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,417
These poor little guys
must miss their mama.
147
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,875
This is the only way
I can get them to eat.
148
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:06,750
Bobby's a very nurturing bitch.
149
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,500
All right, the pups had
their morning yum-yums.
150
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,709
Now it's my turn.
151
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,625
Bobby, do you need
some help there?
152
00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:16,000
Come on, Jules. I'm an adult.
153
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,041
Think I can pour my own cereal.
154
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:20,583
It's like watching
an intelligent monkey.
155
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:24,625
A regular monkey.
156
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:27,792
There's water coming
from the ceiling.
157
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:29,875
Aw, Dog Travis!
158
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:32,291
He must have forgotten
how to turn off the faucet.
159
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,959
OK, I'm definitely
gonna find that boat.
160
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:39,000
Oh, this is great.
161
00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:41,750
Blacktop and Gumshoe together
for one last case.
162
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,750
Hey, thanks for letting me
borrow your suit, G-man.
163
00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:44,834
What?
164
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,959
Wow! my old detective suit
still fits.
165
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:51,083
It's been ten years
since I wore this thing.
166
00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:54,083
Bobby, your old jet-ski key!
167
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:55,375
I don't believe this!
168
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,750
Blacktop and Gumshoe
solve another one!
169
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,917
How does my suit fit you
better than it fits me?
170
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000
Scissors!
171
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,333
All right,
enough suit talk, Grayson.
172
00:07:02,417 --> 00:07:03,834
- We got a case to solve.
- Oh, yeah.
173
00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:06,625
And exactly how do you
expect to solve said case?
174
00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:09,500
By collecting some evidence,
interviewing some witnesses.
175
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:11,166
I got a tape measure.
176
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,500
Ow! I'm gonna go prep
the golf cart
177
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:14,959
to hit the crime scene.
178
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:18,959
Gumshoe out!
179
00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:20,750
Jules, why are you doing this?
180
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,667
I mean, I doubt his boat
was even stolen.
181
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,583
It's probably sitting
in some impound lout.
182
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:27,208
Grayson, Bobby just lost
his home.
183
00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:28,834
He's really upset about it.
184
00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:30,250
This is my way
of helping him out.
185
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,875
OK. It just seems like
you're taking this
186
00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:33,792
investigation thing
a little far.
187
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,125
Oh, please.
We're just having some fun.
188
00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:37,041
We're not taking it
too seriously.
189
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:39,750
Get a move on, Blacktop.
This crime ain't solving itself.
190
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:42,625
Roger that, Gumshoe.
191
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,875
We're gonna make
this son-of-a-bitch boat thief
192
00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,959
wish he'd never been born.
193
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:49,166
See, baby? it's just fun.
194
00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:53,542
No big deal, but you are looking
at the face of a guy
195
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,750
who just dominated
his supervisor
196
00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:57,709
and landed a huge account.
197
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:00,375
Grayson's coaching techniques
worked like a charm!
198
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,250
Sometimes when
you're talking about work,
199
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,583
I take a quick, invisible nap.
200
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:05,834
I'm in the mood to celebrate,
201
00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:07,417
so how about you make
your big-shot husband
202
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,542
a victory dinner?
203
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,458
How about you
actually marry a person
204
00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:13,000
that does stuff like that?
205
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:15,542
How about you order something,
and I pick it up? Like chinese?
206
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,709
Oh, how about
you order something,
207
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:19,875
and you go pick it up?
Like not Chinese?
208
00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:22,542
I guess I can... do that.
209
00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,250
You know...
210
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,166
I think it's great
that you have so much confidence
211
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,792
in your role as wife and mother
212
00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:36,375
that you don't feel the need
to take care of your family.
213
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,583
Actually...
214
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,125
I can order.
215
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Chinese?
216
00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:44,750
Sure. Whatever.
217
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:48,875
So,
if it were up to me,
218
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,000
this is how I would
arrange everything.
219
00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:53,041
- Ta-da!
- Please don't say "ta-da."
220
00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:55,250
A vegas magician made
my foster sister disappear.
221
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:56,875
We never saw her again!
222
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:58,250
I mean, not because
of the trick.
223
00:08:58,333 --> 00:08:59,667
She ended up running away
after the show.
224
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:02,834
OK, but what do you think
of the room?
225
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:06,083
I probably would've done things
a little differently.
226
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,625
Like, why is this bowl
on the coffee table?
227
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,250
What do you even put in it?
228
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:13,250
Whatever you want--
Fruit, remotes, blankets.
229
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,125
You're gonna put
a blanket in a bowl?
230
00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:16,625
OK, let's not get hung up
on minutiae.
231
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,542
Listen, I have a cousin
named "Minutiae."
232
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,166
Now, she may have a crazy name,
233
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,375
but she would never
put a blanket in a bowl.
234
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,125
OK, babe, trust me.
235
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,625
Once you sit with it for a bit,
236
00:09:25,709 --> 00:09:27,333
it's gonna make perfect sense.
237
00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:29,250
Now, why don't I go grab us
some lunch
238
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,166
- while you take it all in?
- OK.
239
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,792
- OK?
- I'm sure you're right.
240
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,125
Oh, man!
241
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:48,834
Some things
never change, Gumshoe.
242
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:51,375
Let's talk suspects...
Do you have any enemies,
243
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,166
anybody who would want
to steal your boat?
244
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,458
Yeah, I have a little beef
with a few folks.
245
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:56,709
We got the harbor master,
246
00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:58,625
there's Don
down at the golf course,
247
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,125
and there's Slick Marco--
248
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,208
Oh! There's Javier
the mango man.
249
00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:05,792
So, this mango man...
Does he sell any other fruit?
250
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,375
Not to my knowledge.
251
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,667
- What do we have here?
- What do you got?
252
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:15,375
Half-eaten shrimp.
253
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:18,917
It's about a day old.
254
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,250
OK, so our man
likes his seafood.
255
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,458
- Let's bag it and tag it.
- Yep.
256
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,041
Ooh! Blacktop, look what I got.
257
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,125
Evidence?
258
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:31,000
No, it's my old flip phone.
259
00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:32,417
Oh, man, I lost this thing
260
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,417
about six years ago
under the boat.
261
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,667
I miss this thing.
262
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,417
- Wassup?
- I do not miss that.
263
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,625
Hey, that's Jerry.
264
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,583
Now, don't criminals
often return to the scene
265
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:44,667
of the crime?
266
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,417
Bet your Blacktop they do.
267
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:48,083
Get him!
268
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,417
This is the end
of the line, Jerry.
269
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,458
Your first mistake was running.
270
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,041
Your second was running from us.
271
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,625
What happened?
272
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,417
Everything's messed up.
273
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,709
No, everything's perfect.
274
00:11:27,792 --> 00:11:29,959
Pillows placed
for optimal back support,
275
00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:31,750
picture frames positioned
276
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,375
so that our photos
aren't staring at us
277
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,875
like that creepy guy
at the park.
278
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,083
I had it perfect.
279
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:40,125
Travis, what makes you
such an expert on design?
280
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:41,625
Well, I've spent
the last three years
281
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:44,041
in art school
studying composition,
282
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,625
so I know how and where
things look good.
283
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:47,375
Art school? Please.
284
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,375
I own a cake shop
in the real world
285
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,458
where people pay me
for my designs, so...
286
00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:54,917
I don't think frosting
a dinosaur onto a cake
287
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,083
is the same as learning
288
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:57,917
from a professor
with a doctorate.
289
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,125
You know, why don't you take
your fancy words
290
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:01,542
back to Hogwarts?
291
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,750
Fine, but I'm moving
this basket back first.
292
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,375
And I'm moving those pillows.
293
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:09,875
Not happening, Powder.
294
00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:11,583
You know what?
Maybe I'll just wait
295
00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,125
till you leave
to rearrange everything.
296
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:15,709
Well, maybe I just
will never leave.
297
00:12:15,792 --> 00:12:17,166
Well...
298
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:19,125
maybe I won't, either.
299
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:24,375
- What did you do?
- What are you talking about?
300
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:26,333
And why do you look like
Julia Child on a bender?
301
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,166
I just needed a little bump
302
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:29,875
to get me through
this bundt cake.
303
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:35,083
I just ordered my husband's
dinner, made him dessert,
304
00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:36,291
and I was in the middle
305
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,625
of preparing tomorrow's
breakfast frittata
306
00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:40,417
when I got a look at myself
in the mirror.
307
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,458
What did you teach him?
308
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,709
I just taught him
a few basic techniques
309
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:46,500
on how to flip a power dynamic,
310
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:48,083
which, apparently,
I'm amazing at.
311
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,458
And now you're teaching me.
312
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:52,917
So what's our play?
313
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,458
You want to run our old routine
good cop, great cop?
314
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,041
Nah, that never worked.
315
00:12:57,417 --> 00:13:00,500
Let's just squeeze the answers
out of this punk son of a bitch.
316
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:03,500
Hey, guys.
Thanks for having me over.
317
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,542
These crab cakes are amazing.
318
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:06,625
Shut up.
319
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,792
Or that's the last thing
you'll have before dinner.
320
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,208
We want some answers, Jerry.
321
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,000
What were you doing
at the boatyard?
322
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:15,667
I go there to think sometimes.
323
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,000
He's lying. nobody
goes somewhere to think.
324
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,208
- Where's the boat?
- what boat?
325
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:20,709
- Bobby's boat.
- I don't have Bobby's boat.
326
00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:22,166
- So you sold it?
- Who'd you sell it to?
327
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,542
- I never had it.
- Then why'd you run?
328
00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:25,208
You were chasing me.
The sauce...
329
00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,917
Is it a remoulade or--
330
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,333
Oh, cool it with the innocent
routine, buster!
331
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:31,500
That's gonna stain.
332
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:32,750
What's going on?
333
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,542
Hey, Grayson. I'm a suspect.
334
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:35,709
They're interrogating me.
335
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:37,458
You never responded to my text
336
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:39,125
about sponsoring
my softball team.
337
00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:41,000
I don't think I got that text.
338
00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:42,166
Yes, you did, honey. Remember?
339
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,875
You said
there's no way in hell--
340
00:13:43,959 --> 00:13:46,417
Jules! Can I talk
to you for a second?
341
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,500
Stay put.
342
00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:52,375
What the hell are you doing?
You kidnapped Jerry?
343
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:55,458
- I gave him crab cakes.
- Jules, this is insane.
344
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:56,834
You said this was just for fun,
345
00:13:56,917 --> 00:13:59,792
and now you're holding a very,
very annoying man captive.
346
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,583
Now, send Jerry home
and put an end to this.
347
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,500
Sorry your phone sucks, Jer.
348
00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,250
Gumshoe.
349
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:09,458
Man, Jerry's right.
These crab cakes are great!
350
00:14:09,542 --> 00:14:11,667
OK, we may have taken
this a step too far.
351
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,709
We don't even know if the boat
was really stolen.
352
00:14:13,792 --> 00:14:15,834
But--
353
00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:17,500
Hello?
354
00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:20,208
Yeah, sure, I can put you
on speakerphone.
355
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:23,083
I have your boat.
356
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,333
If you ever want
to see it again,
357
00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:28,166
come to the boatyard
at 10:00 a.m. Tomorrow.
358
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,959
Oh! I feel like that guy did it.
359
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,959
I don't believe it.
Somebody really stole your boat.
360
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,834
Yeah, and they aren't
messing around, either.
361
00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:40,375
Those robot-voice things
aren't for amateurs.
362
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:43,000
Isn't it strange the caller
didn't ask for any money?
363
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,959
Yeah. should we bring him
something, just to be safe?
364
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:47,875
Hmm. well,
I don't have any cash,
365
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:49,625
but, uh, got some wine.
366
00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:50,792
Let's see.
367
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:54,291
- How about some peanut butter?
- Nice.
368
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,458
A three-pack of yogurt
and half a bottle of soy sauce.
369
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:57,542
Nice!
370
00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,291
Way to think
on your feet, J-bird.
371
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,667
Let's bag it! Anything else?
372
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:03,083
- Just our backup.
- Hey, Jules.
373
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,417
Hey, Tom, you still
got the moves
374
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,500
from when you taught karate?
375
00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:07,667
Well, it was actually
more of a yoga class
376
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,041
with some light tai chi,
377
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,959
You know, for senior citizens
who were having a--
378
00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,208
That's perfect. let's take down
this psychopath.
379
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:14,542
Say what, now?
380
00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:16,291
This boat thief
is about to get...
381
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:17,875
sunk.
382
00:15:19,542 --> 00:15:21,291
Wait, I could just sit here
forever.
383
00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:22,333
Me, too.
384
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,917
Actually, I can't.
I have to go to work.
385
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,959
Yeah, I got to go to class.
I should probably go.
386
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:29,041
OK.
387
00:15:29,417 --> 00:15:32,917
But not before I move
this very versatile bowl.
388
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,333
Fine!
Put your blanket bowl back.
389
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:39,041
I am moving Mr. Basket
to his rightful home.
390
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,834
And don't touch
the pillows!
391
00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,625
Oh, you can protect
the pillows all day,
392
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,000
But this stool's
going for a walk.
393
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:48,000
Move the stool!
I'm gonna put Mr. Tortoise
394
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,792
back in tortoise town.
395
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:51,291
OK, well, guess what--
396
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:54,834
This crazy, decorative gold
thing is getting a new address.
397
00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,583
- Hey.
- Ellie, hey.
398
00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,333
You should make me something
nice for dinner tonight.
399
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,542
It's refreshing to see
generosity from someone
400
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:04,125
who normally doesn't show any.
401
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:06,500
Thank you.
402
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:07,792
I...
403
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,834
I mean, I think
you should get dinner
404
00:16:10,917 --> 00:16:13,083
and then buy me
an expensive gift.
405
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,208
I appreciate all you do
for me financially,
406
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,000
despite your falling short
in so many other areas.
407
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,959
- Thank you. Is jewelry OK?
- Yes.
408
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,417
You just negged me!
409
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,709
Grayson gave you the power!
410
00:16:25,792 --> 00:16:28,709
That's a very smart observation
411
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:31,166
for someone who left the house
wearing those shorts.
412
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:33,166
It's impressive
how you speak your mind.
413
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,959
most people would be concerned
with seeming so obnoxious.
414
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,333
Stop.
415
00:16:37,875 --> 00:16:39,458
What are you doing?
416
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,458
I gave you something beautiful,
and you're using it like this?
417
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:48,375
As your master,
I demand that you stop.
418
00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:52,875
I really respect how you're not
phased by sounding so douchey.
419
00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:57,375
And people with such small eyes
rarely have such big ideas.
420
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,083
Yeah, I guess you're right.
I--
421
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,375
No!
422
00:17:02,917 --> 00:17:04,875
They've shifted the dynamic.
423
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:06,583
I'm no longer the master.
424
00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:09,000
This ends now.
425
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,583
Maybe I should get you dinner.
426
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000
I--
427
00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:19,333
What's happening to me?
428
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:21,917
I've got to retake control.
429
00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,625
Whatever happens in there,
Jules, I just want to say
430
00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,792
that it was awesome
being partners again.
431
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:33,250
It was great, wasn't it?
432
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:36,083
Yeah. thanks for having
my back, Blacktop.
433
00:17:36,166 --> 00:17:37,542
Anytime, Gumshoe.
434
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:38,792
Any chance I could get
a nickname?
435
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:40,333
- Uh, big daddy cool, smooth--
- Ain't gonna happen.
436
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:41,417
OK.
437
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,709
My boat! It's back!
My boat!
438
00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:49,083
Yo! I missed you,
Boat Travis!
439
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:52,083
Ooh, are you, OK?
Mwah! did they hurt you?
440
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:53,667
they just
brought it back?
441
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,834
I-- I don't understand.
Who would do this?
442
00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:57,458
Some crazy old coot
443
00:17:57,542 --> 00:18:00,000
with a large truck
who loves a good prank.
444
00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:01,291
Dad?
445
00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:03,083
Care for a shrimp?
446
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,458
And this bad boy
will go right here.
447
00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:09,333
- This is going over here.
- Fantastic.
448
00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,875
I'm just gonna flip-flop
these pillows.
449
00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:12,959
Then I'll--
450
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:17,041
Travis, wait. Check it out.
451
00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:18,375
It looks amazing.
452
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:19,959
You're right.
453
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:21,041
We did it.
454
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,542
It's like your crazy
and my crazy
455
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,125
is the perfect combination.
456
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,250
Aww.
457
00:18:28,959 --> 00:18:31,375
You know, I think
it was Frank Lloyd Wright
458
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,792
- who once said--
- Travis, please.
459
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,667
I love how your sharp wit
460
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:37,875
detracts from your cold,
bitter soul.
461
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:41,333
You're so charming, I would
take that over sexy any day.
462
00:18:41,417 --> 00:18:42,500
That's it!
463
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,792
Class is back in... session!
464
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,709
I'm Grayson, and I've got
all the knowledge, power,
465
00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:53,542
and all the right--
Ha!-- moves.
466
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,667
So bow down to the master,
467
00:18:57,208 --> 00:19:00,375
because I am taking
back the power!
468
00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:05,000
What a dork.
469
00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:07,583
- What's with the getup?
- And the horrible moves?
470
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,500
He's like a dad
at a One Direction concert.
471
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,500
Oh, that Harry Styles
is so talented.
472
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:12,500
I totally agree.
473
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:13,875
You want
to get out of here?
474
00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:14,917
Yeah,
let's get out of here.
475
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,834
It's OK.
476
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:20,709
You know, I'm the master.
477
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:22,875
You can't hurt the master.
478
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:26,458
Dad, why in the world
would you steal Bobby's boat?
479
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,125
Well, one, I love a good prank.
480
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:33,208
And, two, I wanted you guys
to have a little fun.
481
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:34,792
So, did you?
482
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,625
We really did.
483
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,125
It was a blast, man.
We even kidnapped somebody.
484
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:40,834
Why would you go through
all this trouble
485
00:19:40,917 --> 00:19:42,625
so Bobby and I would have fun?
486
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:46,166
Well, I know you two have been
having some problems lately.
487
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,291
I thought going on a goofy,
little adventure
488
00:19:49,375 --> 00:19:51,208
might bring you closer together.
489
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:53,667
Problems?
What are you talking about?
490
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,417
Your marriage to Bobby.
491
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:58,166
I love you two together.
492
00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:01,125
I don't want to see you
get divorced.
493
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,166
Chick, Jules and I have been
divorced for years.
494
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,250
♪ ... locked away? ♪
495
00:20:05,709 --> 00:20:06,709
What?
496
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:08,417
♪ Don't you worry ♪
497
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,041
Oh, dad.
498
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,709
♪ You're very safe ♪
499
00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:13,917
♪ And it's true
you'll never beat ♪
500
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,041
♪ But you'll never break ♪
501
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,083
{\an8}Women!
502
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,500
{\an8}You want them.
503
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,083
{\an8}but can you get them?
504
00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,583
{\an8}No-uh!
505
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:32,542
{\an8}And why?
506
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,166
{\an8}Because you're not me.
507
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,000
{\an8}But I'm about
to give you the tips
508
00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:42,041
{\an8}to become me.
509
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,709
{\an8}Go from lady loser...
510
00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:47,542
{\an8}to lady cruiser.
511
00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:48,500
{\an8}Hey!
512
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,792
{\an8}Cool.
513
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,667
{\an8}We're gonna learn a lot.
37669
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof