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1
00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:01,709
Hey, everybody!
Guess what I brought?
2
00:00:01,792 --> 00:00:04,250
Cronuts!
But there's a cronut shortage,
3
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:05,542
so it's mostly just doughnuts.
4
00:00:05,625 --> 00:00:06,709
Damn it, Andy!
5
00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,500
I can't believe
you'd do this!
6
00:00:08,583 --> 00:00:11,750
You dummy!
These are horrible for you!
7
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,417
You're so thoughtless.
8
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,125
I mean, do you even care
about your friends at all?
9
00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:16,709
Yeah,
what is wrong with you?
10
00:00:16,792 --> 00:00:18,917
Maybe you should just leave.
11
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,875
And take your dumb empty box
with you!
12
00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:25,792
Sorry, everyone.
13
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:27,166
Jerk.
14
00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:35,166
{\an8}I love when steam rises
from the mug.
15
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,959
{\an8}It's like I'm in a coffee
commercial.
16
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,625
{\an8}Ah.
Home for the holidays.
17
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,041
{\an8}It's March.
18
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:45,000
{\an8}Ah, home
for St. Patrick's Day.
19
00:00:45,917 --> 00:00:47,083
{\an8}- Question.
- Answer!
20
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,625
{\an8}We're playing
word association, right?
21
00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:50,959
{\an8}Right, because that's something
we do... never.
22
00:00:51,041 --> 00:00:52,083
{\an8}- Land!
- Ho!
23
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:53,166
{\an8}- Tramp!
- Stamp!
24
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:54,291
{\an8}Post office!
25
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:55,417
{\an8}We're not playing
word association!
26
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,625
{\an8}I have a question.
27
00:00:56,709 --> 00:00:58,375
{\an8}I want to get Laurie
a little "just because" gift.
28
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,291
{\an8}No occasion, just because
I'm awesome. Any ideas?
29
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:02,417
{\an8}Can't go wrong
with flowers.
30
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,500
{\an8}What's her favorite flower?
31
00:01:03,583 --> 00:01:05,291
{\an8}Oh, um...
32
00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:07,458
{\an8}Rookie move, bro.
33
00:01:07,542 --> 00:01:09,667
{\an8}Got to know
your girl's favorite flower,
34
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:10,709
{\an8}candy, and perfume.
35
00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:11,917
{\an8}That way,
if you ever screw up,
36
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,667
{\an8}you just put down
a little money, and bam!
37
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:15,375
{\an8}She doesn't even remember
what you did wrong.
38
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:16,542
{\an8}Grayson!
39
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:18,291
{\an8}I'm bringing home
roses today.
40
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,792
{\an8}- Aw, baby.
- See?
41
00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:23,458
{\an8}Aw, Trav,
don't worry about it.
42
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,709
{\an8}You're a new couple.
43
00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:27,333
{\an8}You're like
a little baby giraffe.
44
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,333
{\an8}All awkward and clumsy,
shaky legs,
45
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:31,709
{\an8}covered in afterbirth.
46
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,250
{\an8}But soon, you'll be able
to do cool stuff
47
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:35,333
{\an8}like communicate
without talking.
48
00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:36,458
{\an8}Ellie, hit me.
49
00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:40,417
{\an8}Yeah, I'd be happy to go out
and buy you some chapstick.
50
00:01:43,458 --> 00:01:46,125
{\an8}I did not want chapstick.
I did want him to leave.
51
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:50,166
{\an8}Well, Stan,
you drew a blue hippo.
52
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,583
{\an8}You know, in the wild,
they call that a blippo.
53
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,709
{\an8}Mommy, you're fun.
Fun mommy.
54
00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:59,417
{\an8}Aw. No argument there.
55
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,166
{\an8}What about me, Stan?
Am I fun daddy?
56
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:05,125
{\an8}No.
Work daddy.
57
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,125
{\an8}Work daddy?
No, I'm fun daddy!
58
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,458
{\an8}Work daddy.
59
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,125
{\an8}Kids call it
like they see it.
60
00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:13,417
{\an8}Nothing held back,
no regard for feelings.
61
00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:17,250
{\an8}Hey, that's like me.
That's fascinating.
62
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,709
{\an8}All right.
That's it.
63
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:22,875
{\an8}Stan, Tomorrow, you and I,
we're gonna have a beach day.
64
00:02:22,959 --> 00:02:26,500
{\an8}And not just any beach, the good
beach... North Gulf Haven.
65
00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:29,834
{\an8}Then we will see, my friend,
who is fun daddy.
66
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,208
{\an8}Yay!
67
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:33,083
{\an8}Hear that, Ellie?
I got a "yay."
68
00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:34,625
{\an8}Yeah,
but he also says "yay"
69
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,083
{\an8}when I say the word
"detergent."
70
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:38,458
{\an8}- Yay!
- Yeah. Enjoy that.
71
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:42,709
{\an8}OK, yeah.
We can do that.
72
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:44,500
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We can do what?
73
00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:45,709
{\an8}Oh, hold on.
74
00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:46,792
{\an8}Laurie and Trav want us
75
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,041
{\an8}to come over Tomorrow
for brunch.
76
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,125
{\an8}OK, great.
77
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,208
{\an8}We'll see you then.
Bye.
78
00:02:56,875 --> 00:02:58,834
{\an8}I am so glad to see you excited,
79
00:02:58,917 --> 00:02:59,959
{\an8}putting on a tie.
80
00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:01,250
{\an8}I was hanging myself.
81
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:03,709
{\an8}What's the big deal about going
to Laurie's for brunch?
82
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:04,792
{\an8}I'll go out to brunch.
83
00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:06,333
{\an8}I mean, omelette stations
84
00:03:06,417 --> 00:03:08,166
{\an8}are the greatest thing
mankind has ever invented.
85
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:09,458
{\an8}Better than wine?
86
00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:11,709
{\an8}Grayson!
87
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,834
{\an8}I'm sorry.
88
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:15,041
{\an8}It's just the sound
of a sizzle of an egg on iron,
89
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:16,166
{\an8}the one-handed flip.
90
00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:18,709
{\an8}But Trav and Laurie
are an amateur couple.
91
00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:21,458
{\an8}They're never gonna be able
to pull off brunch.
92
00:03:21,542 --> 00:03:23,083
{\an8}It's gonna end up
being frozen waffles
93
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:24,250
{\an8}and jello shots.
94
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:25,583
{\an8}You just described
95
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:26,917
{\an8}my first year of marriage
with Bobby.
96
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,417
{\an8}I think they're cute.
97
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,083
They're trying to be
a real adult couple.
98
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,583
Well, if she's forcing him
99
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:32,875
to do a bunch of crap
he doesn't want to do,
100
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,208
then they're off
to a great start.
101
00:03:34,291 --> 00:03:35,208
Dude!
102
00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:37,250
I'm also picking up
peanut butter cups
103
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,375
with those roses.
104
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:40,166
Aw, baby.
105
00:03:44,917 --> 00:03:47,583
I don't remember taking
any hallucinogenic drugs,
106
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,417
but why else would I be
seeing you in my house?
107
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,083
I bought a box from you guys
at the yard sale,
108
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:55,208
and inside I found a manuscript
for a young adult novel.
109
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:56,542
I couldn't put it down.
110
00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:58,917
It's written
by a Jocelyn Bradshaw,
111
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,041
which sounds a little like
a fake name you might use
112
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,667
if you didn't want somebody
to know your identity.
113
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,375
Hello, Jocelyn.
114
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:08,750
If you say one word
about this,
115
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:13,417
I will yank out your spine
and play it like a xylophone.
116
00:04:14,417 --> 00:04:15,750
You couldn't put it down?
117
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:17,667
I loved it.
118
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,291
It changed everything
I thought I knew
119
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:22,125
about interstellar romance.
120
00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:23,959
Unfortunately, it's missing
the last couple of chapters.
121
00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:25,041
I have to know how it ends.
122
00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:27,125
Oh, here's how it ends...
123
00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:29,583
if you leave now,
you get to keep your peanuts.
124
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,458
Thanks for coming, Bobby.
125
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,709
I have to show Stan
the greatest day ever.
126
00:04:36,792 --> 00:04:39,250
Of course, bud.
I love North Gulf Haven.
127
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,333
The sand is so soft,
128
00:04:40,417 --> 00:04:41,917
it doesn't even rash
your butt cheeks.
129
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,083
Oh, prime spot!
Grab it, Bobby!
130
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,250
Oh!
Sorry, sucker!
131
00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:50,500
Already starting off great!
132
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,291
OK, I'll go to the car
and get the rest of the stuff.
133
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,875
- You got the keys?
- Yeah, they're in the towel.
134
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,834
Oh, I guess it fell out.
135
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:04,000
Oh, baby!
136
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,333
What, did you find them?
137
00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:07,667
No, this sand is so soft.
138
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,583
All right.
So, our food, water, chairs,
139
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:12,750
beach toys,
and sunscreen are in the car.
140
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,250
And we can't find the keys.
141
00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,208
Which is not a problem
at all,
142
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,667
because we're having
the greatest day at the beach!
143
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,542
- Yay!
- Yay!
144
00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:25,125
- Detergent!
- Yay!
145
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,500
Who brings a watermelon
to a brunch?
146
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,291
I figured this brunch
would be so lame,
147
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:32,291
I needed something that
wouldn't upstage them.
148
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,667
It was either this or a handful
of Sweet'n Low packets.
149
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,166
Let's just make
the best of it.
150
00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,917
Hey-o!
Brunch club! Yes!
151
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,875
Here. Have a La-mosa.
It's Laurie's special recipe.
152
00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:44,250
But I won't tell
my secret ingredient.
153
00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:46,250
- OK, it's Prosecco.
- It's Prosecco.
154
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,083
- Come in, you guys! Come in.
- Oh, watermelon.
155
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,917
Who are these people?
156
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,625
- Here, hold this.
- Dude, that's not cool.
157
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,125
- Oh.
- Bup! Bup!
158
00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,250
That one's Grayson's.
Yours has a "J."
159
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,542
Wow!
You make a better foam "J"
160
00:06:01,625 --> 00:06:02,875
than I do with an actual pen.
161
00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:05,333
"G" is for Grayson.
162
00:06:05,417 --> 00:06:06,917
Now how 'bout some
fresh squeezed O.J.
163
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,083
while you nosh
on those beignets, huh?
164
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:10,250
- Whoo!
- Whoa!
165
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:11,875
Do you want with pulp
or without?
166
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,083
We couldn't decide
which one to serve.
167
00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:15,208
I like pulp,
Laurie not so much.
168
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,375
- So we figured...
- Let's serve both.
169
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:20,875
This is insane, right?
170
00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:22,125
Beyond.
171
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:25,208
Laurie made rosemary-plum
jam from scratch.
172
00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:28,458
The only thing I've ever made
from scratch is... Travis.
173
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:30,542
Babe, you got flour
on your nose.
174
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,250
How come you never kiss flour
off my nose?
175
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:36,417
Because you never have flour
on your nose.
176
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,458
Well, if I did,
would you kiss it off?
177
00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,667
If you wanted me to, but why
wouldn't you just take a n--
178
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,250
What are you getting at?
179
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,458
They're like king and queen
of the bon appétit brunch club,
180
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:47,291
and we walk in with
a gas-station watermelon.
181
00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:49,375
Technically, you walked in
with the watermelon.
182
00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:51,125
They're rookies, Grayson.
183
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,875
We're supposed to be
the polished,
184
00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:54,917
impressive couple.
Come on.
185
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,625
- Now get to licking!
- What?
186
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,041
Lick it!
187
00:07:06,291 --> 00:07:09,250
Look, Tom, I--
what is wrong with you?
188
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,917
I can't believe the author
of "Travelers"
189
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,709
is actually in my garage.
190
00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:15,792
Twins, separated at birth,
191
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:17,834
learn they have the power
to travel through time
192
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:19,500
and use it to solve
the mystery of their past!
193
00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:20,625
Ah!
194
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:22,417
How did you even think
of that?
195
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,625
Well, I was, uh, lying in my bed
196
00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:27,542
next to a snoring Andy
and a screaming baby,
197
00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:29,041
and I was wondering
198
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,417
if I smothered my husband
with a pillow,
199
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,583
would it unlock a time portal
to take me back to the day
200
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:37,041
that Jeff Goldblum asked me
to get in his car.
201
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,125
I said no.
202
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,834
Y-you have to let me
read the ending.
203
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:42,166
There is no ending.
I couldn't finish.
204
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,208
I tried,
but it made me crazy.
205
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,250
I stopped drinking,
I was being nice to people.
206
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,667
It was a really, really
dark time.
207
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:52,375
But Violet, Ethan, and Xander
are real characters!
208
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:55,000
They deserve an ending
as magical as their journey!
209
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,917
Give it to them, Ellie.
Give it to me.
210
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,083
- Go get me a computer.
- Yes.
211
00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:02,166
And some wine.
212
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:05,792
And a panini.
And a cashmere wrap.
213
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:07,583
And fill up my car
with gas.
214
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:10,291
Oh, anything
to fuel your genius.
215
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:11,500
Why are you still here?
216
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:15,375
OK, well, the keys
are officially gone,
217
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,417
and all of our stuff
is still in the car,
218
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,667
including our wallets
and phones.
219
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,959
Man, without chairs,
toys, or food,
220
00:08:22,041 --> 00:08:24,125
the beach
is a real son of a bitch.
221
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,208
What are we gonna do?
222
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:26,583
I want Stan to call me
"Fun daddy,"
223
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,333
not "Incompetent boob daddy."
224
00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:30,333
Well, maybe someone will let us
borrow their phone.
225
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,000
I don't even know anyone's
number without my cell.
226
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:35,333
The only number I remember
is my 6th-grade girlfriend.
227
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:37,208
She's probably still mad
since I broke up with her
228
00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:39,041
to spend more time
playing Pac-Man.
229
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,917
At least we were able to trade
our flip-flops for some water.
230
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,166
Look, daddy!
I'm making a river!
231
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:45,959
Oh, Stan!
232
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,458
And then Laurie drops
her wallet...
233
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,250
right in the fountain!
234
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:53,208
And then super stud here
jumps into the fountain
235
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:56,750
with all his clothes on
and gets my wallet.
236
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:58,792
That's a great story.
237
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,875
You know, it reminds me
of the romantic thing
238
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,375
that me and Grayson did
last week after lunch.
239
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:04,834
Right, Grayson?
240
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,417
Aw.
241
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,458
Oh, yeah. After lunch, there--
we were eating.
242
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:12,000
And then there was drinks.
243
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:16,417
And you said, "Hey, babe.
Are you out of hand lotion?"
244
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,875
Right. Because your hands
were so red and scaly.
245
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:22,208
So sweet.
246
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,250
You know what I need
before I do.
247
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:27,250
Right?
248
00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:30,208
Bless you.
249
00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:32,417
Nope.
Grayson?
250
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,041
Oh.
251
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:38,250
Sure.
I'd love another.
252
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,125
Oh!
It's crème brûlée time.
253
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,041
I'll get the pastry torch.
254
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:48,750
That is our most
romantic story?
255
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,166
Come on,
we are better than this!
256
00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:54,583
They're not even gonna serve
the watermelon, are they?
257
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,709
OK.
I'm gonna take that thing.
258
00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:58,500
I'm gonna smash it
over your head
259
00:09:58,583 --> 00:10:00,041
and make you wear it home
like a helmet.
260
00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:01,542
Get in the game!
261
00:10:02,542 --> 00:10:04,417
Then Ethan travels back
262
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,792
to turn-of-the-century
New York, and, boom!
263
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,458
discovers his true blood line.
264
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:11,583
That might be great
265
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:14,458
if Ethan hadn't specifically
stated his hatred of New York
266
00:10:14,542 --> 00:10:16,333
- in chapter three.
- Right.
267
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,417
I'm doing the best I can
with this subpar panini.
268
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,709
OK, OK.
269
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:25,417
Violet leaves Xander behind
to rescue Ethan. Done.
270
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,959
On prom night?
271
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,792
You just made me
and millions of teens
272
00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:31,250
throw down your book
in disgust.
273
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:33,458
Do not mess with prom!
274
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,583
Sorry, Jocelyn's busy
275
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,333
coming up with an ending
that doesn't suck.
276
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,333
You don't plan to hobble me
later, do you?
277
00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,417
Oh, man, wrong number.
278
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,500
Some weird guy answered.
279
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,125
Can I make another one?
280
00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:56,375
You said one call.
281
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:58,667
Yeah, I... I know,
but my phone's locked in my car.
282
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,458
Well, you shouldn't
have done that.
283
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:02,208
Oh, I shouldn't have done that!
284
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,333
Thanks for the tip, jerky.
285
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,750
Daddy, I'm hungry.
286
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,750
I know.
me too, buddy.
287
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,625
Andy.
Looks like our friends
288
00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:13,000
packed us some sandwiches
289
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:14,083
before they went swimming.
290
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:15,917
Oh, right.
291
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,583
That was nice of them.
Come on.
292
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,625
Hoagie! Jackpot!
293
00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:23,291
I got chicken parm,
baby!
294
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:25,709
Uh-oh.
295
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,542
This is not our cooler
after all.
296
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,250
What an honest mistake.
297
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:33,500
We'll just take these
drinks... and run!
298
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,375
Run, Stan! Go! Go!
299
00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,166
Holy crap!
300
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:40,041
This thing is making love
to my mouth!
301
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:41,959
Were these flown in
from brûlée?
302
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:45,542
Jules, no, I made them.
303
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:47,250
I'm sorry.
I mean, we made them.
304
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,667
The key is baking it
until it's set
305
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,500
but still trembling
in the center.
306
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,917
Kind of like how I was
when you first kissed me?
307
00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,792
Aw.
Come here.
308
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,583
- Grayson and I have a dance!
- Oh, boy.
309
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,625
Remember, we took
a dance class for our wedding.
310
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:05,083
Yeah, it was one class,
311
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:07,000
and we spent half the time
filling out medical forms.
312
00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,083
Follow my lead!
313
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,583
Work it! Work it!
314
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,291
Act like
you're enjoying it!
315
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:18,500
Whoo!
Jam on!
316
00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:20,917
- Why are they dancing?
- No idea.
317
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,417
- Ow! Jules, you're hurting me!
- Shut up!
318
00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:26,625
Dip me so they can see how
in love we are.
319
00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:27,875
But my back hurts.
320
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:28,959
Dip me, dumb ass!
321
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:30,959
Whoa!
322
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:32,458
Look out for the candle.
323
00:12:33,291 --> 00:12:34,709
Are you baking
something rubber?
324
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:36,291
- Whoa!
- Jules, your hair's on fire!
325
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,417
- Stop, drop, and run!
- No! No! No! No!
326
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,959
Jules!
Roll! Roll!
327
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,041
Oh, my--
328
00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:50,375
Class dismissed.
329
00:12:53,959 --> 00:12:55,625
Wow!
What a disaster.
330
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:58,625
I am glad that is over.
331
00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:01,542
Jules?
pl-- tell me it's over.
332
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:04,041
Nope.
We're stepping it up a notch.
333
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:05,834
We're having Trav and Laurie
over for dinner.
334
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,333
What?
You mean tonight?
335
00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:09,375
- Mm-hm.
- No, no, no. please, I'm tired.
336
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,333
Let's, um... let's just go up
to the bedroom.
337
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:13,542
We'll go to sleep.
We'll take the watermelon.
338
00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,125
It... it's cuddly, like...
like a baby.
339
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:18,333
Aw, as much as I'd like to
cuddle with you and melon baby,
340
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:19,709
we've got work to do!
341
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,458
We're gonna put on
the greatest feast ever.
342
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000
Do we have pheasant?
343
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,542
I don't know. Did you
check the caviar drawer?
344
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:27,667
Caviar!
That's a great idea!
345
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,625
OK. you're gonna need to pick up
a few things from the store.
346
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,041
Do you think you might be
347
00:13:32,125 --> 00:13:34,083
taking this couples' competition
thing a little too far?
348
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:35,417
There you go.
349
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,000
Truffles and a harp?
350
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:39,333
Find them.
351
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:46,125
So the ship comes back
and Xander is dead.
352
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,500
No, no, no!
353
00:13:47,959 --> 00:13:49,458
Also... no!
354
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:50,834
Nothing is working!
355
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,959
This is why I couldn't finish
this in the first place!
356
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,291
You made me care, damn it!
We need an ending!
357
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,208
Too bad, Ichabod lame.
358
00:13:58,583 --> 00:13:59,583
Maybe in the future,
359
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:01,917
you can be the one thinking
of ideas instead of--
360
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,500
Wait! The future!
361
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,583
How did we not put
this together?
362
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:09,166
The future was always
the key to their past.
363
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:15,250
Faster!
Type faster!
364
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:18,166
Touch me again, and Xander
gets hit by an asteroid.
365
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,250
Hey, baby!
366
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:26,959
A mermaid just waved at me.
She had great ta-tas!
367
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,542
Bobby, that's just
a dead seagull
368
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:30,709
with seaweed on his head.
369
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,542
You might have sunstroke.
370
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:34,959
Maybe it's time we break
the car window
371
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,792
- and call for help.
- Not yet.
372
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,709
We can still give Stan
the best beach day ever.
373
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:41,875
- Stan?
- Yeah?
374
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:43,333
You find the treasure yet?
375
00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:44,583
No.
376
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,041
Now there's two mermaids!
377
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,166
I think
they're gonna kiss!
378
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:50,625
OK, it might be time to go.
379
00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:54,291
Hey, Stan.
380
00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:58,041
Ah, hyah!
381
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,750
Daddy wanted to show you
a fun time,
382
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:04,250
but I goofed up
and lost the keys.
383
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:07,291
So, let's go find
the biggest rock we can
384
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:08,792
and go break
the car window.
385
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,583
You can have my keys.
386
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:12,458
You have the keys?
387
00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:15,125
You have the keys!
He had the keys!
388
00:15:15,208 --> 00:15:17,750
- He had the keys!
- He had the keys!
389
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,750
He had the keys!
390
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,291
See you at the car!
391
00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:22,500
Oh, Stan, wait!
392
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,500
Found the artisan salumi.
393
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:31,125
But the Scottish lobster
394
00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:32,583
it was like 500 bucks.
395
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:35,417
I told you
you could spend $1,000!
396
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,834
Jules, I've only been gone
for like 45 minutes.
397
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:40,417
This seems
a little crazy.
398
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:43,208
Well, I'll tell you
who's gonna go crazy.
399
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:45,625
That's Trav and Laurie
when they see
400
00:15:45,709 --> 00:15:47,625
that I have deveined
three pounds of shrimp,
401
00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:49,208
whipped up a ceviche,
402
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:52,000
and pounded out
an abalone carpaccio.
403
00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:54,041
And, why, you ask?
404
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,583
Two words...
405
00:15:57,959 --> 00:15:59,375
seafood tower!
406
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,959
Oh! Oh!
407
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,458
Jules. What is going on?
408
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:09,208
It was all because
of that stupid brunch.
409
00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:11,834
Trav and Laurie
are still a new couple,
410
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:14,291
and they just seem so much
more in sync than we are.
411
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,875
Why, because they throw
fancy brunches?
412
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:18,917
Jules,
we are an amazing couple.
413
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,291
Just because we don't serve
crème brûlée--
414
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:23,083
which, by the way,
wasn't even that great.
415
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,625
Well, now I know
you're lying.
416
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,083
In one moment, I loved it
more than I love you.
417
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:30,166
OK, it was insane.
418
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,917
But, Jules,
our relationship
419
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,125
isn't about impressing
other people.
420
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:36,542
It's about
making each other happy.
421
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:40,500
And right now, I mean,
besides the fact
422
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,792
that I smell like an
All-You-Can-Eat seafood platter,
423
00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:45,333
I'm extremely happy.
424
00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:47,000
I am, too.
425
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,083
I love you, honey.
426
00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:53,000
Aw.
Baby.
427
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,625
We are so good
at working out our issues.
428
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:59,291
I wish Trav and Laurie
could see us do this.
429
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,667
I've got clam juice
all in my shoes.
430
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:09,083
And with that,
431
00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:12,500
Xander wrapped Violet tightly
in his warm arms,
432
00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:16,500
as Ethan looked on...
from the future.
433
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:19,166
- Wow!
- Yeah.
434
00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:22,083
That was almost as bad as
when Andy recited the lyrics
435
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,917
from "Uptown Girl"
as his wedding vows.
436
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,709
Just hot garbage.
437
00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:27,125
What should we do with it?
438
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,917
Burn it? Shredder?
Goat?
439
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,500
I wish we could teleport it
to the center of the Earth.
440
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,917
- Wait, that's it--
- Tom. It's over.
441
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,583
Was pretty awesome,
though, right?
442
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:41,041
You and I, working together,
bonding,
443
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:44,667
strengthening our friendship
through teen angst and panini.
444
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:48,000
I'm about to eat that, aren't I?
445
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,125
Every word.
446
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,458
Small print?
447
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,500
Successful day
at the beach?
448
00:17:57,583 --> 00:17:59,083
Yeah.
Yep, good day.
449
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:00,166
Epic.
450
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:03,125
Well, I'm glad I slathered
sunscreen on Stan
451
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,250
before you left, 'cause you look
like a lobster
452
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,542
that's been slapped
around a little.
453
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:09,750
OK, uh, to be honest,
today was an absolute--
454
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,959
- It was so fun!
- It was?
455
00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:14,583
People chased us for sandwiches,
I dug for treasure,
456
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:16,959
and Uncle Bobby saw
a mermaid's ta-tas!
457
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,250
That's why Uncle Bobby
458
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,750
lives on a land boat
next to a dumpster.
459
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,709
Come read me a story,
fun daddy!
460
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,125
OK!
I'll be there in a minute!
461
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:26,834
Did you hear that?
fun daddy!
462
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:29,667
You almost died,
didn't you?
463
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:32,208
An old man made me
put sunscreen on his back,
464
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,083
and all I got
was a hard candy.
465
00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,417
You like hard candies, though.
466
00:18:36,709 --> 00:18:38,458
Mom?
We're here.
467
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:41,083
Ugh!
What the fuzz, Jules?
468
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:44,208
Smells like a shrimp truck
jackknifed in here.
469
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,166
What happened?
470
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,166
I was trying to make
a fancy dinner,
471
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,458
but it turns out
that $700 of scallops
472
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:53,417
and lobster tails is...
heavier than you think.
473
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:56,834
I have a bad feeling we're not
gonna find all the clams.
474
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:57,959
- Ew.
- Wait.
475
00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,792
Why would you go to all
this trouble just for us?
476
00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,583
You guys did such an amazing job
hosting that brunch,
477
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,166
it just made us start feeling
478
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:05,625
like something was wrong
with our relationship.
479
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,166
It just made Jules
feel that way.
480
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,208
But, um,
our relationship's so strong,
481
00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:11,542
you know, I felt it, too.
482
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,166
Wow!
483
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,709
OK, well, uh, we have
a little confession to make.
484
00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:17,750
That brunch this morning
that seemed so perfect?
485
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,166
We kind of carefully rehearsed
every single moment.
486
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,041
Even that cool move
487
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:23,750
when you almost conked him
on the head with the O.J.?
488
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,709
Yes!
I nailed him in the head,
489
00:19:25,792 --> 00:19:28,250
like, 14 times
practicing that.
490
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,917
At one point, his childhood
stutter came back,
491
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,959
and I had to hit him in the head
again to get it to go away.
492
00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:35,583
So, is there a reason you guys
didn't serve the watermelon?
493
00:19:35,959 --> 00:19:37,583
Why would you rehearse
for a brunch?
494
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,250
Well, yesterday,
it just seemed like nobody
495
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,000
would take us seriously
as a couple.
496
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,000
So we wanted to impress you
with how good we can be.
497
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,583
Especially since
we're always so impressed
498
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:45,917
with your relationship.
499
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,917
I mean, aside from the weird
impromptu dance party
500
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,208
with the hair pyrotechnics,
501
00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:51,875
you guys are, like,
the best couple we know.
502
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:54,166
Aw, did you hear that?
We're amazing!
503
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:55,250
Mm-hm.
504
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:57,417
OK, can we stop trying
to impress each other?
505
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,750
Yes.
506
00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:00,792
Great,
because I'm starving.
507
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:03,583
Oh, abalone carpaccio.
508
00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:06,083
Dusted with,
uh, peppercorn?
509
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,166
That's dirt.
510
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,583
Yeah. It's $40 a pound.
Eat it, brunch club.
511
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,583
- I'm good.
- Yeah.
512
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,959
{\an8}Welcome, book club.
Let's dive in.
513
00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:18,125
{\an8}Jocelyn Bradshaw's "Travelers."
514
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,709
{\an8}Now, as discussed,
515
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:22,417
{\an8}Xander is always sacrificing
his own well-being
516
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:25,000
{\an8}in order to protect
Violet's peace of mind.
517
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,333
{\an8}That's the christ motif
that Eric mentioned.
518
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:30,500
{\an8}Best example of this,
chapter ten, the prom,
519
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:34,166
{\an8}where Xander summons the courage
to slow dance with Violet
520
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,291
{\an8}even though he knows
521
00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:38,083
{\an8}she was just in the bathroom
kissing Ryder.
522
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:39,792
{\an8}It's powerful stuff.
523
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:40,959
{\an8}Anyway, I thought
it would be kind of fun
524
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,208
{\an8}to act out this scene.
525
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:45,417
{\an8}I'll play Xander.
526
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,083
{\an8}And we need a Violet.
Who would like to play Violet?
527
00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:53,500
{\an8}OK.
I can play both parts.
38554
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