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1
00:00:01,166 --> 00:00:03,333
- Jules?
- Oh, good, it's just you.
2
00:00:03,875 --> 00:00:05,458
Were you napping
under your desk?
3
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,667
Bonnie and Jerry
Just left a message
4
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:09,792
saying they're popping in
to ask me a favor.
5
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,500
Those two are so annoying.
6
00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:15,750
Jules, your obligation to the client ends
once they move into the house.
7
00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:18,166
I know, but they call me constantly
for help.
8
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,417
Today, I'm putting my foot down.
9
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:23,500
Hell, yeah, you are.
Except for you won't.
10
00:00:23,583 --> 00:00:25,000
Okay, here they are.
11
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,792
- Hey, Jules!
- Hi... Grayson.
12
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,291
Bonnie.
13
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,166
All right.
14
00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:35,083
Jules, we can't decide
on a color for the den.
15
00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:37,750
Pine green? Forest green?
Asparagus?
16
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,125
Do you think you could spare a day
to go over some swatches with us?
17
00:00:42,458 --> 00:00:43,625
You know, I don't think...
18
00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:48,041
I'm doing anything today,
so... sure.
19
00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:49,375
- You're the best.
- Okay.
20
00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:50,667
- Let's get out of here.
- Okay.
21
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,875
- Bye, Grayson.
- Bye.
22
00:00:54,458 --> 00:00:56,792
- Help me.
- You did this to yourself.
23
00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:58,375
Ugh.
24
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:07,166
{\an8}Okay.
Who wants cookies?
25
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,583
{\an8}Again?
26
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:11,166
{\an8}We have a freezer full
of last year's thin mints.
27
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:13,458
{\an8}You know,
you need to be careful.
28
00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,667
{\an8}Those saleskids are super gossipy.
29
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,250
{\an8}Before you know it,
every preteen cookie pusher
30
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,917
{\an8}is gonna be stalking you like I stalked
my seventh-grade boyfriend
31
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,000
{\an8}after I caught him
tongue-stabbing my foster sister.
32
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,834
{\an8}Ironically,
I pretended to sell cookies,
33
00:01:25,917 --> 00:01:27,625
{\an8}and that's how I got into his house.
34
00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:30,083
{\an8}Jules, why were the cookie girls
high-fiving you
35
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:32,000
{\an8}- after they left our house?
- How should I know?
36
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,291
{\an8}Hey, sexy!
37
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:37,041
{\an8}- How'd you get your abs so tight?
- Nice try.
38
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,166
{\an8}You're a pushover, just can't say "no".
And since you're asking,
39
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,792
{\an8}Reverse crunches.
shred me up.
40
00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:46,208
{\an8}Oh.
I'm not a pushover.
41
00:01:46,417 --> 00:01:49,458
{\an8}Said the girl who spent yesterday
looking at paint swatches
42
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:51,041
{\an8}- with two lunatics.
- Speaking of,
43
00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:53,750
{\an8}they dropped off
a sure-to-be-insane thank you gift.
44
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:55,583
{\an8}My money's on toenail clippings.
45
00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:57,875
{\an8}Oh, it's a wedding invitation.
46
00:01:58,041 --> 00:02:01,500
{\an8}Oh, thank goodness, I already decided
I'm never attending another wedding.
47
00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:04,417
{\an8}- What if Trav and I get married?
- Jules will tell me all about it.
48
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,333
{\an8}Why do they want us
at their wedding anyway?
49
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:07,917
{\an8}I mean,
I've only met 'em, like twice,
50
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,041
{\an8}and both times,
Bonnie tried to eye-molest me.
51
00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:11,542
{\an8}It's not funny.
52
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:14,542
{\an8}She stared at my snack pack
like it was a magic eye poster.
53
00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:20,333
{\an8}- Well, I think we should go.
- Sorry, but they're getting married
54
00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:22,583
{\an8}on the day of my roller hockey finals.
55
00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:24,625
{\an8}- I'm not going.
- Ah!
56
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,709
{\an8}The classic
husband and wife standoff.
57
00:02:27,792 --> 00:02:30,125
{\an8}She wants one thing,
he wants another.
58
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,959
{\an8}- What will they choose?
- Hmm?
59
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:35,250
{\an8}Well, how do you and Andy
decide things like this?
60
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,000
{\an8}Hmm, let me think.
61
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,583
{\an8}We compromise.
62
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:45,959
{\an8}Well, this is our last lap,
so please do your thing,
63
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,250
{\an8}Try not to eat it.
64
00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:49,750
{\an8}What is it, bud?
65
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:57,375
{\an8}I'm telling you,
those are Dog Travis' puppies.
66
00:02:57,458 --> 00:02:59,125
{\an8}Dad, you had Dog Travis fixed.
67
00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:01,709
{\an8}You made us bury his little buddies
in the backyard.
68
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:03,417
{\an8}I just know they're up there now,
69
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,500
{\an8}watching over all of us.
70
00:03:05,917 --> 00:03:06,917
{\an8}Must not have taken.
71
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,125
{\an8}Luckily, I got some puppy fur,
and I know a guy with DNA kits.
72
00:03:10,709 --> 00:03:12,834
{\an8}The pup-ternity results are in.
73
00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:14,291
{\an8}Dog Trav...
74
00:03:16,417 --> 00:03:18,709
{\an8}- is the father!
- Oh!
75
00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:20,458
{\an8}Maury Povich dance!
76
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,000
{\an8}Whoo! Whoo!
77
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:24,583
{\an8}D.T.'s a father!
78
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,417
{\an8}D.T.'s a father!
79
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,875
{\an8}Hey, I found a way
to get through all those cookies.
80
00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:35,792
{\an8}Taste the thin mint julep.
81
00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:41,750
{\an8}- Wow! That's terrible.
- I know.
82
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:43,959
{\an8}I just wanted it to work
because I love the name so much.
83
00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,208
{\an8}Look, you have hockey games
all the time.
84
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:49,750
{\an8}Bonnie and Jerry are only
gonna get married once. Probably.
85
00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:52,166
Well, then you go to the wedding,
and I'll go to my game.
86
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,208
Go to a wedding by myself?
87
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,375
Oh, you're probably one of those people
that thought it was cool
88
00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:58,125
to go stag to your prom.
89
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,458
Travis went stag to his prom.
90
00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:03,583
Yeah, until I showed up.
And then we danced the night away.
91
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:05,625
It was a masquerade theme,
he didn't know it was me.
92
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,750
I wonder why he's so weird.
93
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,750
You can't say no to people,
not even to people you barely know.
94
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,750
- I know them.
- Really?
95
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:14,208
Okay,
what's Bonnie's last name?
96
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,083
What's Jerry's last name?
97
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,583
Uh, where are they from?
What's their phone number?
98
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:22,375
Five, six, four...
two, one.
99
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:25,542
Look, you can't say "no" to people,
but fortunately...
100
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:27,667
I can.
101
00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:30,375
Seinfeld!
That's his last name!
102
00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:32,041
His name is not Jerry Seinfeld.
103
00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:33,709
Then how come
it sounds so familiar?
104
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:39,000
Hey, Tom? We ran out of wine,
can we borrow some...
105
00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:43,583
Holy Shi... nia Twain.
106
00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:46,250
What the hell is this?
107
00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:49,083
It's my mini cul-de-sac.
108
00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:51,250
Modeling's always been a hobby.
109
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,375
Yeah, at first
I just started with one house,
110
00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:57,709
but as it grew, I realized
I was in control of the whole world.
111
00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:00,083
Like a god.
112
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,834
Uh, pretty cool, huh?
113
00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:05,834
It's all exactly to scale.
114
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:09,041
What's Grayson's doing
laying face down in the bathtub?
115
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,792
- Oh, no. How did that happen?
- It's me!
116
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:14,458
- You gave me triceps.
- I noticed you've been trying.
117
00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:16,333
Yeah.
118
00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:19,625
Oh, mom will like
the size of her boobs.
119
00:05:19,709 --> 00:05:21,959
- Yeah.
- And her hair color is perfect.
120
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,625
I used printer ink.
121
00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:26,583
Mrs. Torres!
Okay, this is weird.
122
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:28,917
This doll is physically colder
than the others.
123
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:32,834
Whoa, hold up.
Tom, is this supposed to be me?
124
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,417
I don't wear this much makeup.
this doll looks insane.
125
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,875
What are you talking about?
126
00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:40,333
It looks just like you,
it's identical.
127
00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:41,625
Seriously?
128
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:43,959
Uh-oh.
129
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:48,583
Hey, Tom, I can't help but notice
that... Grayson is very tiny,
130
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,959
and you are extremely jacked.
131
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:54,834
That's, uh, forced perspective.
You wouldn't understand.
132
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:56,417
Let's see
what Bobby and Andy are up to.
133
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,208
I can't wait
to meet my grandpuppies.
134
00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:01,709
Welcome to the family, big guy.
I'm your in-law Bobby Cobb.
135
00:06:01,792 --> 00:06:03,625
- Excuse me?
- The pups.
136
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,667
My dog is their pop.
137
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,625
How's this work? I name half,
and you name half?
138
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:09,125
'Cause I wanna call him Gizmo.
139
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,667
That tickles.
140
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,834
Hey, is it too early to talk holidays?
141
00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:15,250
'Cause you can have Thanksgiving
but I need Christmas,
142
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,709
'cause I wanna put 'em all
in little tiny Santa hats.
143
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:18,083
Look, I don't know
who the hell you guys are,
144
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,875
but stay away from my dogs!
145
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,750
Stay away!
146
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,750
Hi, would you like to buy
some cookies?
147
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:32,959
Fine, I'll buy the whole bag.
148
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:34,583
- Here you go.
- Jellybean was right.
149
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,875
- The word is spreading.
- Oh, crap, Bonnie and Jerry.
150
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:39,959
Act like you're sad
we can't make it to the wedding.
151
00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:41,959
- Hey, guys!
- Hi! oh!
152
00:06:42,041 --> 00:06:44,291
Come here!
Mmm!
153
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,083
- Oh!
- Nope.
154
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:48,166
Looks like we're having lunch.
155
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:49,709
Actually,
we were just leaving.
156
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,583
- Gotta go.
- I'm sorry. Bye, guys.
157
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,542
See ya.
158
00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:58,125
Oh! We got your R.S.V.P.
159
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:00,875
We are so happy
you're coming to the wedding.
160
00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:04,208
Great.
161
00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:06,375
We're registered at radio shack.
162
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,750
That's funny,
I'm pretty sure I marked "no",
163
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:10,709
sealed the envelope,
and put into the mailbox.
164
00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,583
So unless somebody got it
out of the mailbox
165
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,250
and changed our reply...
166
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:17,166
Oh, my god,
your abs are tighter today.
167
00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:20,500
- How do you do it?
- I added pilates to my workout.
168
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:21,834
Oh, so smart.
169
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:25,917
Travis is right, this is insane.
170
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,875
That's funny, my doll's shirt
is the same material
171
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:32,959
as my favorite dress that I can't find.
172
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:34,542
That is funny.
173
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,000
I can't believe you're making me miss
my hockey game.
174
00:07:37,959 --> 00:07:39,709
Oh, wait.
I just had a brain-flood.
175
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,083
If you mean "a really good idea,"
176
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,125
- it's a brainstorm.
- Why?
177
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,208
Storms are dark and confusing.
A flood is a huge rush.
178
00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,208
- Ellie?
- Change approved!
179
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,375
Why don't we go to both?
180
00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,709
The wedding's at 3:00,
the game's at 4:00.
181
00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:57,917
We hit the wedding,
we show our faces,
182
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,875
and then we go to the game.
I promise you this will work.
183
00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:02,458
Hey, Tom,
184
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:05,917
How did you know that one of my boobs
is slightly larger than the other?
185
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:09,375
That's it. I'm going to check our room
for cameras.
186
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,250
He won't find them.
187
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:18,667
What kind of man wants to keep
a bunch of adorable dog pups
188
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,917
away from their loving
human grandpappy?
189
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,709
I'd say a normal one.
Babe, back me up here.
190
00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:27,250
No, I'm sorry, what?
It's just, I can't hear you
191
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,500
through all the layers
of clown makeup that I'm wearing.
192
00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:33,959
And if you'll excuse me,
I'm due back at the circus.
193
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:36,417
You know, where clowns work.
194
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,291
What was that about?
195
00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:41,750
I accidentally said something
that hurt her feelings.
196
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:45,458
Travis, you should never
accidentally hurt someone's feelings.
197
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:48,166
It should be done
with intent and purpose.
198
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:51,750
Those shorts accentuate
your baldness.
199
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:53,417
Good one.
200
00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:55,750
- I should really go after her.
- Honey,
201
00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:58,542
your nastiness
just gave me a great idea.
202
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:01,417
- Did you have a brain-flood?
- What? Where'd that come from?
203
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,917
I have no idea.
But I approve.
204
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000
All right.
You can help Bobby.
205
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,875
- I'm out.
- Come on! He needs a lawyer.
206
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,166
You're the most savage, ruthless
ballbuster I've ever met.
207
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,667
Go on.
208
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,792
You look smoking hot when you wear
your ass-kicking heels...
209
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:17,750
And you've been thinking
about going back to work.
210
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:21,709
This jackass won't even let me visit
Dog Travis' bastard puppies.
211
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:25,083
I do love destroying jackasses.
212
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:28,041
- How big a jackass is he?
- He wears a puka shell necklace.
213
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,417
When do we start?
214
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,667
They're having their wedding
in Bobby's boat yard?
215
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,834
Well, Bobby owed Jerry six bucks,
and this is how they squared up.
216
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:38,750
I love it!
What do you think the theme is?
217
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,959
An A.A. meeting? Craigslist?
S.T.D. clinic.
218
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,417
I was thinking more like an afternoon
in a beachside paradise.
219
00:09:46,709 --> 00:09:48,041
And then there's that guy.
220
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,959
I'm watching the clock, okay?
I gotta make my game.
221
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:53,208
I thought this through.
You have your jacket?
222
00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:55,041
- Check.
- Good.
223
00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,125
You're gonna leave it
on the back of your dinner chair.
224
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,458
And that way, people will think
we're up mingling all night.
225
00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:02,333
My dad left this jacket to me
when he died.
226
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,208
Do you want to go to the game or not?
Great.
227
00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:09,208
- Let's go photo bomb some pictures.
- That guy's got a bird on his head.
228
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,834
Trav, what happened?
229
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,667
Well, after the meteor hit,
230
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:18,458
I woke to find I have a new power,
231
00:10:18,542 --> 00:10:21,583
human flight!
232
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:23,875
Hey! Whoa! Hi.
I was just... just, uh...
233
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,333
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
234
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,875
It's a safe place.
Just let your imagination run free.
235
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,500
I do.
Believe me.
236
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,375
- Hey, guys.
- Wow.
237
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:37,500
I would say that was insane
238
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:39,583
if I wasn't holding
a doll version of my own mother.
239
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,000
Well...
240
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:45,709
Since you obviously think
that I have a ridiculous clown face,
241
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:48,834
I've decided to hide it from you.
So you're welcome.
242
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,083
Well, now I need to make
a tiny little helmet.
243
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:53,667
Laurie, I'm sorry.
244
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,667
This is the new me, Travis.
245
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,375
You should just get used to it.
246
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,458
Laurie!
247
00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:03,083
Ninety-nine problems.
248
00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:04,709
Let's see what Bobby and Ellie
are up to.
249
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,291
You are in good hands.
250
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,166
I have never lost In this suit,
I call it "the widow-maker".
251
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:12,417
Game time.
252
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,417
Heels.
253
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,208
Damn!
You brought the heat, girl.
254
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:20,208
Let's go kick this guy's ass.
255
00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:22,583
Excuse me?
256
00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,667
If your poop scooping schedule
will allow,
257
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:27,500
I'd like to have a word
about those pooches.
258
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:28,917
- Me?
- No, the other guy
259
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,166
with the wagon full of puppies.
260
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:36,208
Are you aware that chapter 61
of Florida family law statutes
261
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:40,709
state that you must comply
with all parenting schedules?
262
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:43,792
Three days a week
and alternating holidays will be fine.
263
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:49,500
I'm also aware that Florida family law
only applies to humans.
264
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,500
Honey, you're not as scary
as you think.
265
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,542
Buh-bye now.
266
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,208
What just happened?
Did we lose?
267
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,917
Oh, would you stop looking
at your watch?
268
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,834
Just relax and enjoy
the insane assortment of people.
269
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,291
Okay, fine.
Hey, look, Scott Baio.
270
00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:10,041
Hey, look over there.
271
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,583
There's the bad guy
from every black-and-white movie.
272
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,166
Oh, you think that's bad?
273
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,792
Check out "how many meatballs
can I fit into my mouth?" guy.
274
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:20,959
Oh, no. A different guy.
Oh!
275
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,125
Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
276
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,208
We're about to start.
277
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,917
Wow. I can't believe
we're starting on time.
278
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,000
- This actually might work.
- I told you I knew what I was doing.
279
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,583
Now, the second they walk
down the aisle, we're outta here!
280
00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:36,583
Hey! what are you two doing
in the cheap seats?
281
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,208
Maid of honor and Best Man
need to be up front.
282
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:42,250
- I'm sorry. Maid of what now?
- Hurry up! we're starting!
283
00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:45,625
- Got the rings?
- What?
284
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,208
I'm kidding!
I've got the rings. Come on!
285
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:54,000
Well, that's a small
little wrinkle in the plan.
286
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:56,917
I'm sorry.
287
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,625
I thought that "First Mate"
was just a cutesy name for "guest".
288
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:01,792
Why couldn't you just say "no"
in the first place?
289
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,709
So, I'm making a viral video
out of this.
290
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:07,583
Act surprised when my friend
Fat Dave streaks the ceremony.
291
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,208
Oh, okay.
292
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,750
- Please don't be mad.
- I should've known better.
293
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,375
Seriously? Right now?
294
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:20,208
All right, um,
I'll take one box.
295
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:22,667
Peanut butter.
Pay you later.
296
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:30,000
It's incredible how much
this doll look likes me.
297
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,208
I'd sue you for using my likeness,
298
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,333
but I'd probably lose.
299
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:37,625
Yeah, well, this Bobby
doesn't have any puppies either.
300
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,709
That guy wasn't afraid at all.
301
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,166
I've lost my edge.
302
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:45,041
No. You're still as terrifying
and vicious as ever.
303
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:48,166
Tom, show her your Ellie doll.
304
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:52,208
No, no, the other one.
Angry Ellie.
305
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:55,750
- No, thank you. I don't want to.
- Tom, do it.
306
00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:01,166
See, Ellie? This is how Tom
envisions you in his head,
307
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:04,291
- as a giant, horrible dragon.
- You do?
308
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,583
Oh, Tom...
309
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:12,000
Now go find
that puppy-hoarding jackass
310
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,625
and let him taste the wrath
of the dragon lady.
311
00:14:14,709 --> 00:14:17,709
Puka shell is goin' down.
312
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,500
Yeah!
313
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:25,625
Knock-knock.
314
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:29,000
Okay, can you just take
that thing off so we can talk?
315
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:33,417
Look, I'm sorry
that I hurt your feelings.
316
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,959
I like that you wear a lot of makeup.
I mean...
317
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:39,333
You're like a...
Like a beauty pageant queen.
318
00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,750
Not one of those slutted out
"toddlers & tiara" freaks.
319
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:46,542
- What are you talking about?
- Ah! Why can't I just say this?
320
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:47,917
You know?
We never fought about anything
321
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000
before those stupid
yet skillfully crafted dolls.
322
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,166
You're right.
323
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,667
This is all because of Tom
and his freaky dolls.
324
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:59,375
You know what?
I'm gonna put an end to this right now.
325
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:02,917
Wait up!
326
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:08,500
- Guess I won't be needing that.
- You were wearing a groin cup?
327
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:11,458
Yeah, because I was gonna try
and skate right into the game.
328
00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:15,375
Also 'cause Bonnie tried to grab me there
twice already today.
329
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:16,917
But who cares now anyway?
330
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,291
Because we're stuck at this
stupid crapfest of a wedding.
331
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:20,667
All right,
332
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:24,625
So now it is time
for the toasts, everybody.
333
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:27,125
What?
334
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,959
Oh.
335
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:30,625
Hi.
336
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,625
Marriage is supposed to be
about compromise.
337
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:37,500
But then you get steamrolled
by your people-pleasing wife
338
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,333
and you miss
your street hockey playoff game,
339
00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:42,417
all to hang out
with a bunch of jackasses. Cheers.
340
00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:46,000
How great is this guy?
341
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:50,542
Jules' turn! Jules' turn! Ow!
342
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:52,041
Okay, uh...
343
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,583
First off, congratulations to you, Bonnie.
I saw that baby bump.
344
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:58,834
- What's she talking about?
- Oh.
345
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,166
Oh, anyway, uh...
346
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,917
Well, my wedding day...
Well, my second wedding day,
347
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,083
was the happiest day of my life.
348
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,542
And I hope the same for you,
Bonnie and Jerry.
349
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:13,792
You know,
sometimes you try so hard to...
350
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:18,542
make everyone else around you happy,
that you overlook the...
351
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,709
happiness of the person
that you love most
352
00:16:21,792 --> 00:16:23,542
and that's not okay.
353
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:25,959
So what I'm trying to say,
Bon and Jer,
354
00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:29,875
is just always
put the other person first.
355
00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:34,333
All right. now it's time
to toss the garter! Line up, boys!
356
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:36,041
Hold on.
I got something to add.
357
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,834
I just wanna add that,
358
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,709
if you're the woman
that goes out of their way
359
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:44,208
to make everyone else happy...
360
00:16:44,291 --> 00:16:45,625
And I'm obviously talking
about you here, Bonnie.
361
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:47,000
- Yeah.
- You do so
362
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:50,041
because you've got the biggest heart
of anyone I know.
363
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:54,625
And that is what makes you
irresistibly attractive to me.
364
00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:55,917
Oh.
365
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,250
- I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
366
00:17:01,583 --> 00:17:02,959
Oh.
367
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,291
And I love you...
368
00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:09,375
Bon and Jer.
369
00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:13,000
You've never looked more beautiful
than you look right now.
370
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,959
Dessert came early.
371
00:17:26,375 --> 00:17:27,583
Hey, puka-face.
372
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:31,917
Oh, yay.
373
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:35,333
I'll admit, last time
I brought the weak sauce.
374
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:39,458
But then I remembered
why I became a lawyer in the first place,
375
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:44,500
to see the look in the eye
of some cocky, d-bag jackass
376
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:46,792
the moment he realizes
377
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,667
that his testicles
are gonna be legally ripped
378
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:54,208
from his body
and shoved up his pompous ass.
379
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,333
You mean...
380
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:02,333
- Here is your half of the litter.
- Wait, what?
381
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,542
I own 'em?
382
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,667
I just wanted
to be able to play with 'em.
383
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:07,750
I didn't want to own 'em.
384
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:11,250
Ellie, you did it.
I knew you still had it.
385
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,834
Thank you for always reminding me
what a ballbuster I am,
386
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,917
- Boo. A quick?
- Yeah.
387
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,625
Hey, whoa, whoa! Hey!
388
00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:22,875
What am I supposed to do
with all these puppies?
389
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:25,458
Oh, god.
390
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,750
Hey, hey! Stop humping!
That's your kin!
391
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:30,917
Oh, hey!
392
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:34,709
No, no, no! No tinklin'!
Oh, you!
393
00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:38,041
I'm gonna go left eye
on these doll houses.
394
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:40,333
Oh, Trav, you don't know
what it was like for me.
395
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:43,041
I grew up in a dozen foster homes,
396
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:47,500
Just another kid hauling fertilizer
and gasoline across state lines.
397
00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:51,125
I wanted a way to stand out
and keep my identity.
398
00:18:51,959 --> 00:18:54,959
Doing my makeup different
than everybody else is how I got that.
399
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,542
So it kinda felt
like you were making fun of who I am.
400
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,750
Oh, I think
you're always gorgeous.
401
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:05,208
Every once in a while,
I wanna see the plain and natural you.
402
00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:09,291
Oh, you really mean that?
What, what?
403
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,125
Yeah, come here.
404
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:14,834
That's what I meant to say.
405
00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:18,166
Hold that thought.
406
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:22,709
I guess maybe I can mix it up
every once in a while.
407
00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:25,417
You're beautiful.
408
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,834
♪ And if your heart is alive ♪
409
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,583
You know what else
would be beautiful?
410
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:34,125
- Here, let me get this top off.
- Absolutely not.
411
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,458
♪ Is whistling ♪
412
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:43,500
I'm not sure that move is safe
for a pregnant woman.
413
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,583
You know, our wedding
was the best day of my life, too.
414
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:49,458
Even happier than when someone thought
you were gay
415
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:52,500
- because you were in such good shape?
- That was a good day.
416
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,458
Still, I'd rather be here
with you at this crappy wedding
417
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,083
than at my stupid hockey game anyway.
418
00:19:58,166 --> 00:19:59,750
Ooh! you're so sweet.
419
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,417
- You're such a liar.
- No, I'm not.
420
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:04,750
Really? then why
are you wearing your skates?
421
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:09,417
- Get outta here.
- Are you serious?
422
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:13,000
- Go get 'em, champ!
- I'm gonna kick some ass! Whoo!
423
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:16,458
No, you're not.
424
00:20:16,542 --> 00:20:20,291
♪ 'Cause it's your heart,
It's alive ♪
425
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,083
{\an8}Oh, Tom,
thanks for coming by.
426
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:25,083
{\an8}Oh, surprise, no problem.
Where's Grayson?
427
00:20:25,166 --> 00:20:27,250
{\an8}Hey,
has anybody mentioned my name?
428
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,542
{\an8}I got stung in the face
by a bunch of hornets.
429
00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:31,583
{\an8}It's all puffy,
I can't really hear anything
430
00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:34,166
{\an8}and I can't see anything.
Oh! I just tripped.
431
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,667
{\an8}I have to deal with him now.
432
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:38,333
{\an8}You know, I feel
such a connection to you sometimes.
433
00:20:38,417 --> 00:20:39,667
{\an8}Yeah, me, too.
434
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,500
{\an8}No, I mean it.
Like a real connection.
435
00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:44,083
{\an8}- What?
- Shh, don't talk.
436
00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:46,542
{\an8}what is that?
It looks like a giant mutant puppy.
437
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,959
{\an8}Tom! Tom, save me!
438
00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:50,250
{\an8}Oh, no!
439
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:54,417
{\an8}And his friend Destructo
is coming, too!
440
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,583
{\an8}It's got Grayson!
It's got Grayson!
34709
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