Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:03,625
It is so cold, my fingers shrank
and now my ring won't stay on.
2
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,583
Did you find out
why the heat is not working?
3
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,041
Yes, yes, I did.
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,458
Do you remember three months ago
when we split up our household duties,
5
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,291
and you wanted to be
in charge of paying the bills?
6
00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:15,291
I have an awesome system,
7
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:18,333
I pay the bills the second
I see them in the mail.
8
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:21,333
And do you remember two months ago,
when you got sad about trees dying
9
00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:23,333
and put all of our accounts
on paperless billing?
10
00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:27,166
Duh! No paper bills, less tree murder.
11
00:00:28,417 --> 00:00:29,458
Give it a sec. She'll get it.
12
00:00:29,542 --> 00:00:34,750
Oh, wait, paperless means our bills
won't come in the mail.
13
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:39,583
And if our bills don't come in the mail,
then... Oh, crap!
14
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:42,166
Oh, then what? What happens?
15
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,542
It's a miracle I can even tie
my own shoes.
16
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,917
{\an8}OK, I forgot to pay our bills.
Not a problem.
17
00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:56,000
{\an8}It's OK, I'll take care of it right now.
18
00:00:56,959 --> 00:00:58,500
{\an8}I'll take care of it later.
19
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:01,583
{\an8}Our phone got shut off? Jules, damn it,
that is so irresponsible.
20
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:04,500
{\an8}I'm so sorry. I know this is my screw-up.
I'm going to fix it.
21
00:01:04,583 --> 00:01:06,291
{\an8}Do it soon, I'm freezing.
22
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:09,000
{\an8}The paper said the next two days
could hit record lows here.
23
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:10,709
{\an8}There's a 10% chance of snow.
24
00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:11,792
{\an8}Snow?
25
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:16,500
{\an8}Awesome! We can build snowmen
and write our names in pee!
26
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:18,917
{\an8}Not everyone can write their name in pee.
27
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,166
{\an8}Are you more upset about that
than screwing up our bills?
28
00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:22,667
{\an8}Of course not.
29
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,625
{\an8}Who would even want to
30
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,417
{\an8}pee their name in the snow?
31
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:35,333
{\an8}Did you know that some places make
you pay in person if your bill is late?
32
00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:37,291
{\an8}Of course. When I lived in New York,
33
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:39,291
{\an8}I would just wait until I got
that third late notice,
34
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:43,417
{\an8}then I'd go down to the billing office
and rub up against the guy at the desk.
35
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,875
{\an8}I never had to pay.
36
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,333
{\an8}All right, I got to go
deal with this stuff.
37
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,500
{\an8}You. You ran out on your check
at breakfast.
38
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,125
{\an8}You owe me 15 bucks.
39
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:57,291
{\an8}No, I don't. My boyfriend served me
breakfast in bed.
40
00:01:57,375 --> 00:02:00,750
{\an8}and then I served him a little side of...
What, what.
41
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:03,208
{\an8}Oh, no. Did she have dark hair?
42
00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:05,875
{\an8}Ugh, I bet it was Missy, my doppelganger.
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,917
{\an8}She looks exactly like me,
except she never has any money.
44
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,875
{\an8}Tell her. Yeah, that's not happening.
45
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:11,250
{\an8}I'm calling the cops.
46
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:13,959
{\an8}Fine, take it.
47
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,500
{\an8}You have heard
all of my doppelganger stories,
48
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,750
{\an8}why didn't you back me up?
49
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,041
{\an8}Because you're so full of crap.
50
00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:20,667
{\an8}You think I am lying?
51
00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:24,500
{\an8}Absolutely. But it's no big deal,
I lie all the time.
52
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,709
{\an8}You think that Andy is Stan's father?
53
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,709
{\an8}He is. I'm joking!
54
00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:35,083
{\an8}Yeah, I'm trying to find out how much
I owe on my car insurance.
55
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:39,291
What does that mean, "lapsed"?
56
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,750
Stupid ring.
57
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,417
Oh, that's what that means.
58
00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:50,250
Shoo! Whoo!
59
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:52,083
Check out my duds!
60
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:55,417
{\an8}You look like the hero
of every '80s ski movie!
61
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:58,041
{\an8}"The only way off this mountain
is down the Devil's Chute."
62
00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:00,625
What does "best" mean?
63
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,792
I made one for you, too.
64
00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:06,458
{\an8}No! I love it!
65
00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:09,375
{\an8}You know the weather report said
there was only 10% chance.
66
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:10,834
{\an8}For snow!
67
00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:13,041
{\an8}I've always wanted to wake up
to a winter wonderland,
68
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:14,125
{\an8}and it's finally going to happen!
69
00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:17,500
{\an8}Here, I got this for you,
for our first father-son snowball fight.
70
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:18,750
Ah!
71
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,625
All right. I'm off to stock up
on canned goods!
72
00:03:21,709 --> 00:03:22,834
Shoo!
73
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,709
Do you think he's a little overly excited
74
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:28,375
for something that almost definitely
isn't happening?
75
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,917
I got snow in my ear! It's so cold!
76
00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:32,583
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
77
00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:34,792
- How's your day?
- Not bad.
78
00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:36,583
And I really meant that.
79
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,917
Those weren't just words that I am saying
that are not true.
80
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:44,333
{\an8}Would you move on?
All I did was call you a huge liar.
81
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:46,291
{\an8}- Oh, boy.
- I do not lie!
82
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:51,041
{\an8}Lying is for people that hide things.
I hide nothing.
83
00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:52,291
{\an8}I learned that the hard way
84
00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:54,250
{\an8}when I dropped my napkin
under the table last week.
85
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,041
{\an8}So there's no fiction
86
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:59,125
{\an8}or exaggeration
in your tales of world travel
87
00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:01,542
{\an8}or pseudo-celebrity sexual encounters,
88
00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:03,834
{\an8}or friends who give birth on dance floors?
89
00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:07,291
I had one friend who dropped fetus
on a dance floor.
90
00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:10,709
No sane person could believe the nonsense
that you say is true.
91
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,625
Well, I always believed her.
92
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:14,458
You don't count,
she lets you see her naked.
93
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:15,542
Knuckleheads?
94
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:17,166
I never thought she was lying.
95
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,458
Me neither.
96
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:20,917
Then I have bad news for you,
you're all idiots.
97
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,333
And it will be up to me to prove that our
friend JB is full of BS.
98
00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:26,709
Do your worst,
my rap is bulletproof.
99
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:29,250
Not unlike my foster brother, Zig,
100
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,792
who, after a serious lion-taming mishap,
101
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:35,542
had to be completely rebuilt
using a complicated...
102
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:39,917
Oh, boy.
Grayson is going to freak.
103
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,917
Are you out of your mind?
104
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:47,834
I'm sorry, I didn't realize
how attractive you are.
105
00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:50,083
Would you mind if I asked you
that question without yelling?
106
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,500
OK.
107
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,083
Are you out of your mind?
108
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,291
I'm so sorry.
109
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,667
This car is really expensive, isn't it?
110
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,500
Well, it was, until a couple
of minutes ago.
111
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,709
I have this insurance issue...
112
00:05:02,792 --> 00:05:04,125
Why don't we forget about this whole thing
113
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,667
and grab a cup of coffee,
take a deep breath
114
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,125
and I can try to figure out
115
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,875
how someone as incredible as you are
isn't married.
116
00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:13,375
Well, actually, I...
117
00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:16,583
I'm Jules.
118
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,166
I'm Sam. Shall we?
119
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:20,250
Sure.
120
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:25,083
Ellie! I lost my insurance,
I rear-ended a guy,
121
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:26,917
and now I'm on a fake date
to try to get out of it
122
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,083
so Grayson doesn't kill me.
How do I flirt?
123
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:32,417
Bat your eyes, flip your hair,
laugh at everything he says,
124
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,417
and rock that cleavage.
125
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,625
Thanks, bye.
126
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:37,750
All right...
127
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,709
Oh.
128
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:45,041
You didn't injure those
during the crash, did you?
129
00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:47,500
Oh, no, they're fine.
I was just double checking.
130
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:48,667
You know.
131
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:51,250
Honk-honk. Ah-oogah!
132
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:52,458
They're good.
133
00:05:52,542 --> 00:05:56,667
That's a relief. It's hard to find
a replacement horn from the 1930s.
134
00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:03,875
So, um, you don't live here in town?
135
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:06,041
No, I'm just here on my way through Miami.
136
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,875
My venture capital firm is investing in...
137
00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:12,208
This is really boring. Tell me about you.
138
00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,667
Well, I like wine.
139
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:15,875
OK.
140
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,625
Oh, and I also sell real estate.
141
00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:21,583
And I like that you started with wine.
142
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,250
I like a nice Chianti.
143
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,875
And not just because that's
144
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:27,000
what Hannibal Lecter would drink
when he ate people.
145
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:28,750
- Hannibal who?
- Lecter.
146
00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:30,750
From the movie Silence of the Lambs.
147
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:31,709
There are silent lambs?
148
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,625
Well, no, not really.
They were more of a symbol.
149
00:06:39,959 --> 00:06:42,709
So you own your own business?
How did that happen?
150
00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:47,166
Oh, OK, well, a few years ago
I was in a bad mountain climbing accident.
151
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,709
Oh, no, don't worry,
I didn't die or anything.
152
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:50,750
Oh.
153
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,750
But it was a really bad fall
154
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:54,333
and it made me realize
that life is a gift,
155
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:56,208
and we have to make the most of every day.
156
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,542
So, I bought my own company,
I made an ungodly amount of money,
157
00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:04,125
and now I just spend my whole life
just traveling and enjoying myself.
158
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,875
Falling off that mountain was
the best thing that ever happened to me.
159
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,333
I fell off this really tall chair once.
160
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:11,250
And when I hit the floor,
161
00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:14,333
I found my missing hairbrush right there
under the couch.
162
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:15,458
Oh.
163
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,125
Your story's better.
164
00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:18,208
Was it a good brush?
165
00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:19,667
It was a great brush.
166
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,000
I'd call it a tie.
167
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,834
Holy Majors.
168
00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:35,542
I've spent the last few hours
169
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:39,000
mapping out every story you've ever told.
170
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,917
Which has been great for business.
171
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,500
So, if you don't mind,
I'd like to confirm a few details.
172
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,083
So, you were born,
and conceived in a Jacuzzi.
173
00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:51,333
- Yeah.
- Your mom was a Whitesnake groupie,
174
00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,959
{\an8}and your dad was a politician
who knocked her up
175
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,709
and then left to be with his own
legitimate family.
176
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,333
- Yeah.
- You've had five stepdads,
177
00:07:58,417 --> 00:08:00,208
countless foster dads
178
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:04,208
and you have been medically dead
four times.
179
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:07,291
Beach, rave, rodeo,
Kid Rock show. That's four.
180
00:08:07,375 --> 00:08:09,583
You've been molested...
181
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:10,875
by a dolphin...
182
00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:14,500
Attacked by an animatronic bear,
183
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,625
ear ripped off by a falcon,
184
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:18,875
and Robin Williams slept with your niece.
185
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:21,917
Remember, her foot got caught
in his arm hair.
186
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,500
They had to call the paramedics
to get her out.
187
00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:27,667
You go to a psychic whose hands
were ripped off by a chimp,
188
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:30,000
and you have a friend with robot arms.
189
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,041
Aw! Amanda.
190
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,291
And another with robot legs.
191
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,166
Ugh. Nezzie.
192
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:41,625
Now that we're clear
on the insane details,
193
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:45,166
I'm going to find the hole
194
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:48,917
that sinks this ship of lies.
195
00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:53,417
Oh...
196
00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:56,542
Someone's getting an epic spanking.
197
00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:58,792
Ah!
198
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,208
I got this from my buddy Ron
at the Pizza Palace.
199
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,667
Can you believe I couldn't find
a snow shovel anywhere in town?
200
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,083
Yes. Because this is Florida.
201
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:07,917
Where it never snows.
202
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,375
Until now.
203
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
Help me out.
204
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:15,750
Ow! Fine.
205
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,000
Bobby,
206
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,834
you know I get excited
when you get excited,
207
00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:24,000
but the news report did say "10% chance."
208
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,250
Right.
209
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,792
For snow!
210
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,959
Yeah! Snow!
211
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,500
Sorry, I tried.
212
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:35,291
Did you? Dad, I feel like
you're only hearing what you want to hear.
213
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,125
Look, I just don't want you
to be disappointed when it doesn't snow.
214
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:40,333
Power of positive thinking, Trav.
215
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:44,125
When I believe
something's going to happen, it does.
216
00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:48,125
Wine me. My head is swimming
217
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:50,875
with Laurie Keller tales of smut and lies.
218
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,583
Oh, how did your date go?
219
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:56,875
Amazing. I laughed, I flipped my hair
220
00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:59,750
and gave him an eyeful
of Big Lefty and Shortstack.
221
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:00,917
He didn't know what hit him.
222
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,333
- What?
- Oh, right, I didn't tell you.
223
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,750
You see, I hit this really expensive car
224
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:09,250
right after I found out
that our car insurance had lapsed.
225
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:10,333
Lapsed?
226
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:13,125
It means expired, read a book sometime.
227
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:16,667
My ring fell off, and the driver
of the car asked me for coffee
228
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,000
and then I got
some flirting tips from Ellie,
229
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:19,625
and then he said forget the whole thing.
230
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:20,875
Please don't be mad.
231
00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:23,959
That is... awesome!
232
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,834
So, I did good?
233
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:29,041
You did so good,
I'm a little turned on right now.
234
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:31,208
Ooh, come here.
235
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:38,333
You don't have to stay and watch.
236
00:10:38,417 --> 00:10:39,542
I know.
237
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:42,208
- Oh, OK.
- Mmm.
238
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:47,875
How long has she been at this?
239
00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:52,125
Hours. She's on her eighth cup of coffee
and hasn't left to pee.
240
00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:54,250
She can stare until she's dead,
241
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:55,959
'cause all my deets check out.
242
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,125
Belize.
243
00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,250
Ho-ho.
244
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:03,709
You said that you went
on a cruise to Belize,
245
00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:06,917
and you broke up a fight
between rival drug gangs
246
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,959
by turning your body
into a human ice luge.
247
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:13,208
- And?
- You've never been to Belize.
248
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,291
Yeah, I have. We went there right after...
249
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:20,333
OK, well...
250
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:22,959
You know, maybe it was Paraguay.
251
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,083
There it is. The hole in the ship.
252
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:29,291
And with that one lie,
that calls everything into question.
253
00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:30,291
Ruling?
254
00:11:30,375 --> 00:11:32,250
Technically speaking, I have to agree.
255
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,333
Sorry, Laurie.
256
00:11:36,041 --> 00:11:37,458
Well, here comes my dad.
257
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,000
Hope he's not too crushed
it didn't snow last night.
258
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,041
What's up, guys?
259
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,041
You're OK!
260
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,250
I'm better than OK. I'm great!
261
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,458
So, you're not upset that it didn't snow?
262
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:50,792
The news said it was gonna snow
today or tomorrow.
263
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,041
Which means
it's definitely going to snow tomorrow.
264
00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:56,792
A 10% chance has now been cut in half...
265
00:11:56,875 --> 00:11:58,375
A hundred per cent chance!
266
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,250
All right, I'm going to go
fill this up with whiskey
267
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,166
in case Dog Travis has
to go make some rescues.
268
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:05,208
Or if he meets a cute bitch
and wants to get funky.
269
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:12,291
Babe, why don't you grab us some coffee?
270
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:14,041
OK, you want a regular coffee
or like a--
271
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,166
- Sounds great.
- All right.
272
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:17,542
Hi!
273
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,959
Hey. I saw your picture
on one of your bus bench ads
274
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,458
and I figured this is probably
where you work.
275
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:27,041
I've been sitting here for four hours,
you don't work very much, do you?
276
00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:31,000
Which ad was it, did it have
mustache graffiti or penis graffiti?
277
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:35,041
No, this one was a penis
with a mustache on it.
278
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:37,250
- Oh, that's my favorite.
- Mine too, oddly.
279
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:41,083
Hey, do you remember what I said
about living life to the fullest
280
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:42,625
and making the most of every day?
281
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:43,875
Yeah.
282
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,375
Five, six, seven, eight!
283
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:49,875
♪ Ooga-chaka, ooga, ooga ♪
284
00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:52,000
♪ Ooga-chaka, ooga, ooga ♪
285
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:54,375
♪ Ooga-chaka, ooga, ooga... ♪
286
00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:56,166
I can't stop this feeling.
287
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,125
♪ I can't stop this feeling ♪
288
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:00,208
Deep inside of me.
289
00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:02,625
♪ Deep inside of me ♪
290
00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:05,542
Jules, I don't think you realize
what you do to me.
291
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:09,667
♪ Girl, you just don't realize
What you do to me ♪
292
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:12,083
♪ Ooga-chaka, ooga, ooga ♪
293
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,959
♪ When you hold me in your arms so tight ♪
294
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:20,959
♪ You let me know everything's all right ♪
295
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:26,208
♪ I'm hooked on a feeling ♪
296
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,291
♪ I'm high on believing ♪
297
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:36,166
♪ That you're in love with me ♪
298
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,291
You were supposed to catch...
He was supposed to catch that.
299
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:12,875
Jules Cobb.
300
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,041
Yeah?
301
00:14:15,667 --> 00:14:16,750
Will you marry me?
302
00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:21,792
OK!
303
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,792
She said yes! We're getting married!
304
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:30,959
What did I miss?
305
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,417
Dude! Epic flash mob! Whoo!
306
00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:41,917
Anybody else want some wine?
307
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,959
I think I'm good. The champagne
was really flowing at your engagement.
308
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:48,875
I know. Sam thought of everything.
309
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,208
Dude, lighten up. OK?
310
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,208
Sorry I accidentally said yes
to a wedding proposal.
311
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:58,458
The greatest proposal of all time
312
00:14:58,542 --> 00:15:00,250
according to the entire Internet.
313
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:04,291
Sam is not just handsome
and charming. He's crazy rich.
314
00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,709
Oh, well,
too bad you're crazy married.
315
00:15:06,792 --> 00:15:08,333
Would you tell her how nuts this is?
316
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,875
I can't help you there.
Just watching this makes me ovulate.
317
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:16,000
Just the sight of that ring
incinerated my underwear. What?
318
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,959
Oh, good. You still have it on.
319
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:21,333
My hand felt naked and
my real wedding ring got lost in the car.
320
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:22,500
Did you look for it?
321
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,625
Well, I'm going to.
322
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:28,417
All right, babe, you know
I get swept up in exciting moments.
323
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,208
By the time I realized what I had done,
I had 100 people in my face
324
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,291
and I was just too embarrassed
to own up to it.
325
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,083
I'm gonna have dinner with Sam tonight
326
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:37,542
and I'm gonna tell him the truth.
327
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,375
I just could not humiliate him
in front of a crowd.
328
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:43,542
Fine, tell him tonight.
329
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:45,709
And take that ring off in our house!
330
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:47,375
I was just about to!
331
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:49,750
I wasn't. This thing is gorgeous!
332
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:52,417
- You're so lucky.
- It's so beautiful.
333
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,000
I have a lot to do before dinner.
334
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:56,792
You know, I haven't had a reason
to shave my legs in weeks.
335
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,458
You see, this story sounds crazy,
336
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:02,875
but we have a video
337
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,291
that proves it's not a huge lie.
338
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:06,959
What, why are you so upset?
339
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:11,000
I might have gotten a country wrong,
but I wasn't lying.
340
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:14,959
Ellie, I just hate that it's so important
to you to destroy my credibility.
341
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,000
Poor thing.
342
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,291
You know, what she needs
is a hug from Sam.
343
00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:23,458
He gave me a hug, I popped a Woodrow.
344
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:28,125
- Are you prepping for golf cart jousting?
- No.
345
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:31,750
But that is an awesome idea
that we are totally going to try.
346
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,917
When we get the pizza scoop
on the golf cart,
347
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,583
Bobby will be
the only snow plower in town!
348
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:38,750
Cha-ching!
349
00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:40,208
Why are you doing this?
350
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:44,834
OK, well, this is insane.
So I'm gonna set things straight.
351
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:46,875
I can't watch you kill his dreams!
352
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:49,333
Dad, I hate to do this,
353
00:16:49,417 --> 00:16:51,375
but I'd rather you accept it now
than be crushed tomorrow.
354
00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,166
You're not going to wake up to snow.
355
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,166
It's not cold enough.
356
00:16:56,500 --> 00:17:00,458
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I just wanted it so bad.
357
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:02,166
It's not even chilly.
358
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:04,500
Hey, thanks for the tough love, son.
359
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,792
Now I just gotta find a way
to break it to Dog Travis.
360
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:11,917
Hey, pal.
361
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:16,000
You know how you were all excited
and stuff to see the snow?
362
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:20,959
Do you have any idea
how hard this is?
363
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,959
You know, this may sound strange
for me to say,
364
00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:28,333
but thanks for at least doing this here
at my bar, where I can see it.
365
00:17:28,417 --> 00:17:30,333
Oh, honey, I would be a crappy wife
366
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,875
if I didn't let my husband come
to my engagement dinner.
367
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:37,083
I promise, as soon as I have some privacy
with Sam, I'm gonna tell him.
368
00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:41,625
There she is, the future Mrs. Johnston.
369
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,500
That's you I'm talking about.
My last name is Johnston.
370
00:17:43,583 --> 00:17:45,125
Oh, I like it.
371
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:46,542
Hey, should I go by JJ?
372
00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:47,625
Nope!
373
00:17:47,709 --> 00:17:49,083
Oh, my God. Absolutely not.
374
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:54,000
Oh, um, Sam, this is, um...
Neighbor. Friend. Grayson.
375
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,667
Neighbor-friend Grayson. Nice to meet you.
376
00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:57,083
I'm in really good shape.
377
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,625
OK. I'll try to spread the word.
378
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,834
- Sam, can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah.
379
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,959
Um, listen, I made a big mistake.
380
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:09,000
No, no, no, I made a big mistake
381
00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:12,333
to ambush you in front
of a hundred of my friends
382
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:14,208
and none of my family!
383
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:16,875
Mom, Dad, Grandma!
384
00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:21,166
Get in here. This is Jules.
385
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,500
Oh, thank you.
386
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,208
How is it that no one has snatched her up?
387
00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:30,208
It's almost impossible to believe.
388
00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:33,917
Oh, good. Did you come to tell everyone
389
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,208
that this isn't my real hair color?
390
00:18:36,291 --> 00:18:37,333
I think they already know.
391
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:40,542
Actually, um, I brought you
a little something.
392
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,667
Missy! You freeloading bitch,
you owe me 20 bucks!
393
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,250
Why don't you come and get it,
you over-bleached skank.
394
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:51,709
I am going to rip off your face
and I'm gonna shove it up your corn chute!
395
00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:53,125
That'll be all, Missy.
396
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,250
Thank you.
397
00:18:58,417 --> 00:18:59,500
Hey, Laurie. Did you dye your hair?
398
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,166
Bite me, little eyes.
399
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,583
OK, why did you bring her here?
400
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:06,959
To prove a point.
401
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:12,041
I spent five hours today looking
for someone I wasn't even sure existed.
402
00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:15,667
But I kept looking because I believe you.
403
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:19,083
It's tough for me to accept
all the things you say,
404
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,792
but deep down, I know that you're
an honest person.
405
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:26,250
Thank you, Ellie,
that really means a lot to me.
406
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,875
{\an8}Check it.
407
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,834
Team Sam. Who's with me?
408
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,709
Oh, this is a complete disaster.
409
00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:35,834
I just didn't want
to publicly humiliate him.
410
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:38,709
I know, but unless you want to go ahead
and actually marry the guy...
411
00:19:38,792 --> 00:19:40,041
That would get me off the hook.
412
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:42,458
Now listen.
The only way out of this is to tell him.
413
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,750
I know, but I just hate
to disappoint people.
414
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:47,333
And everyone here is going to hate me.
415
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,667
OK. I know I have to do it.
416
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,709
- Sam?
- Yeah.
417
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,125
I have something to tell you.
418
00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:55,250
Oh.
419
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,500
Everyone, my fiancée
420
00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:59,291
has an announcement to make!
421
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:00,875
No, that's not what I meant.
422
00:20:02,709 --> 00:20:04,834
OK, what the heck.
423
00:20:05,458 --> 00:20:09,625
Um, all right, Sam,
you are an amazing guy.
424
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,500
And you have an amazing family.
425
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:14,959
And that's why
this is so difficult for me.
426
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,500
All right. Stop!
427
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,375
I can't stand to hear
another second of this.
428
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,500
Jules...
429
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:23,542
I'm in love with you.
430
00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:26,125
I've been in love with you
since the moment I saw you,
431
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:28,000
and I've just been too scared to say it,
432
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:30,041
but now Sam, here,
with his live-for-the-moment spirit,
433
00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:32,542
has inspired me to do this.
434
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,667
Jules...
435
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:38,792
Don't marry him, marry me.
436
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:42,125
He's proposing without jugglers?
437
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,709
This is a total shock.
438
00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:46,000
I had no idea you felt this way.
439
00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:49,125
And I feel it, too.
So, yes, I will marry you.
440
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:52,333
- Aw!
- Boo. Wrong choice!
441
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,542
I'm so sorry, Sam.
442
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:57,291
It's just that I've been in love
with Grayson for years,
443
00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:00,500
and I just never realized it
until this very moment.
444
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:05,041
I wish you'd realized it yesterday
before I spent $200,000.
445
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,125
Two...
446
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:09,000
I mean, on the one hand,
I admire what Grayson is doing.
447
00:21:09,125 --> 00:21:10,917
And on the other hand... crap.
448
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,083
Oh, Sam, you're an incredible guy
449
00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:17,750
and you're gonna find someone amazing
who deserves you more than I do.
450
00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,709
A few minutes ago, I had it all.
451
00:21:20,792 --> 00:21:24,083
And now, I'm just a lonely billionaire.
452
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,125
Hi there. I'm Missy.
453
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:32,166
You know, I feel as though this could end
in breakfast for the two of us,
454
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,041
if you're interested.
455
00:21:35,917 --> 00:21:39,041
Remember when I said I was lonely before?
Don't worry about it.
456
00:21:43,917 --> 00:21:45,417
What the...
457
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,583
Snow!
458
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:54,291
You did this?
459
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,709
Well, somebody had to keep
Bobby's dream alive.
460
00:21:57,792 --> 00:22:00,417
See, Trav? I told you
I'd wake up to snow!
461
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,792
Well, it didn't snow. This is...
462
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:06,250
Snow. You were right, Dad.
463
00:22:06,709 --> 00:22:08,959
The power of positive thinking.
Ow!
464
00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:10,917
Eat powder, dude!
465
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,250
You're going to let her
get away with that?
466
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:14,125
- Hell no!
- No!
467
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,709
{\an8}Lambs aren't silent, they go...
468
00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:53,792
{\an8}Grayson, Monica.
35912
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof