All language subtitles for K.B.i.t.F.L.S01E02.1080p.WEB.h264.EDITH_track3_[eng]

KIMORA: Hi, it’s me,
Kimora Lee Simmons.

Did you miss me?
We’re back!

I brought all the kids
and everything!

ALL: Mom.

KIMORA: It’s been
almost 15 years

since you last saw me
and my family.

It’s like The Brady Bunch,
but with no husbands.

My life is absolutely crazy.

Oh!
I don’t want to do this!

Okay, so Wolfe’s
just turned 10 now.

[indistinct].
Aoki’s in Bali.

She’s been there
for six months.

No, I don’t.

Ming is in Coachella
partying all night.

We have a photo shoot
on Monday.

We’re drinking, like
shots of tequila.

Don’t you dare
show up hungover.

That’s it.

We are Back
in the Fab Lane.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I’m about to touch down ♪

♪ Do you feel ready? ♪

♪ I want to feel
the ground shake ♪

♪ I want to be your earthquake ♪

I’ve been talking about you.
What are you doing?

- KENZO: Oh! Hey, Kim!
- Kenzo!

Wait! Why?
Are you-- what--

You guys do not need
to be in the car

having all
this kind of laughter and fun.

This is why
they don’t let kids drive.

You guys need to slow down.
Who’s driving?

- Oh.
- Y’all stay up, though.

- Y’all stay up, though.
- Okay, you stay up too.

- Oh.
- Stay up?

- Stay down?
- Trim.

Trim!

- Tell him, "You’re trim."
- You’re trim.

[both laughing]

What the heck is trim?

What is trim?
What’s trim?

Let me see
if I can call Jayden.

[automatic voice]
Your call has been forwarded...

Jayden!

Okay, hold on, hold on.

- [phone ringing]
- Gary, I feel like will answer.

Oh, my gosh!

We don’t know.
I’m gonna have to guess.

Trim must be like,
I don’t know, cool.

Like fit.
Fit and trim?

- Boy, bye! Oh!
- [phone beeping]

Ooh.

KIMORA: Every phone bill I’m
paying is getting cut tonight.

[upbeat music playing]

- [Wolfe laughs]
- [puppy whining]

KENZO: Good day, Mom.

No, what--

why are you walking in here
like the Three Musketeers?

- Okay.
- I’m their lawyer.

And here he is now, 15,
seven feet tall.

Kenzo’s the diplomatic one,

so, like, I think
everybody goes to him.

He has a little way
about him, huh?

Casanova.

I think it’s time
that you take us,

- you know, to get our tattoos.
- JAYDEN: Indeed.

- It’s time to get tatted.
- GARY: I think so, too.

Gary, you never have
nothing to say.

I know you feel that
in your chest.

I have something to say
right now, man.

KIMORA: We call Gary
the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

because I adopted Gary
from Jamaica when he was eight.

Gary’s like very serious,
and you can like kind of see

what he’s thinking
on his face.

He is definitely, like,
the strong, silent type.

It’s like our little
Sweet 16 type thing, you know?

- JAYDEN: Responsible young men.
- Sweet 16, man.

Look at these responsible
young men you have around you.

Jayden, you don’t
even have a tattoo.

- But that’s why I’m worried.
- Right.

KIMORA:
Jayden is like my bonus son.

Kenzo and Gary

went to school with Jayden
when they were younger.

There wasn’t a lot
of kids of color there,

and the boys gravitated
towards one another,

and he’s never left us.

Jayden lives at
the house with us,

goes on vacations with us.

He’s like
another one of my kids.

He’s the older one.
He’s already graduated.

He can drive.
So the other kids love that.

- Nobody’s getting any tattoos.
- Come on, like--

What if you get ink poisoning?
What if you have a reaction?

What if you have some
kind of systemic inflammation

from the ink?

You think you’re grown
all of a sudden?

The truth of the matter is,

they’re babies to me.

Their little skin
is so cute and just chocolatey.

You don’t need it.

How about that?
How you feel about that?

- KIMORA: Earrings?
- KENZO: Earrings?

- I’m not gonna get one earring.
- Piercings?

- What are you piercing?
- What else are we piercing?

KIMORA: You might want
to pierce your nipple.

- I don’t know.
- Oh. Mm.

We don’t know
what you guys are asking.

Just the ears.

When I was younger, if you were
a guy and you had two earrings,

they say that you batted
for the other team.

We don’t know the teams,
what the boys are doing.

We don’t know.
No, we know the teams.

We know the teams.
No, we don’t know the teams.

You never really
know the teams.

You guys are asking for a lot.
I don’t know about this.

You don’t have to do
everything at once.

You guys can take your time.
You don’t have to rush.

Part of being a parent
is letting you all know

that I have done things maybe

Coachella is a three-day
festival in the desert

where we go to party.

[upbeat music playing]

We go to listen to music
and be with friends.

And there’s illicit things.

I go to Coachella to have fun.

[road din]

[tense music playing]

KIMORA: She didn’t get home
until the time for the shoot.

What in the heck?
Never have I ever.

Where am I going?
You’re in my seat.

- No, girl, don’t fight me!
- Mom, just sit here!

Ming and I are shooting
People magazine’s

Most Beautiful People edition.

Ming came home from Coachella
when the sun was coming up,

and by then it was time
to get in the car.

So she’s just kind of...

Please don’t talk to me.

Having a photo shoot

on the Monday after Coachella
is a problem

because nobody comes home
from Coachella

until, like, Monday afternoon.

I would normally
still be incapacitated.

What are these bands
on your arm?

I said I need scissors
and no one gave me any scissors.

I’m sure you had drinks
at all those wristband places.

- Um--
- That’s crazy.

I don’t drink.
I don’t do all those drugs.

No, ma’am,
I’m high on life.

I always tell Mingi,
I want her to be careful.

We should keep the alcohol
and the substances,

if there are any,
to a minimum.

Why are you guys laughing?

We have substances
from Amsterdam.

Oh, Ming!

But she’s an adult.

We’re adulting.

- Mom, get your cup.
- Who you talking to like that?

I don’t want to have
to fight her on camera.

- I could do it.
- Mom, can you get me

- these sunglasses in brown?
- I authorize it. No!

You shop too much
and you party too much.

- Get your butt in there.
- MING: I’m gonna order that.

No, you will not
order them, Ming.

You are way over
your budget of [bleep].

You go in there
and you do a nice job,

and we’ll discuss
you getting some glasses, ma’am.

- Oh, my God!
- Yes, ma’am, thank you.

Coming up...

WANDA: You can do it.
You can do it.

- You gotta close your eyes.
- No, ma’am.

My closing my eyes and just
swallowing it days are over.

[exclaims]
That was a little spicy.

Here she is doing hair
and makeup, getting her IV drip.

I don’t even get an IV,
but I bet I paid that bill.

- Hi, thanks for having us.
- Thank you for having us.

That’s Janine who’s gonna be
doing the interview today.

Hi, how are you? I’m Janine.
[indistinct].

- How are you? I’ll elbow you.
- Nice to meet you.

I feel
Little Miss Drunky Boat,

she doesn’t know People,
but she knows her people.

She says, "We’re all people.
We’re all here."

This generation,
they know YouTube.

[whimsical music playing]

Okay, it’s 3:21.

- I’m almost done.
- Okay. Thank you.

You guys, it is 3:30.

Mom, it’s enough
with the time.

We’re obviously working
as fast as we can.

No, no, you’ll have to leave
at four o’clock.

You have to get up
out of that chair.

So do what you need to do.

I’m closer to being done
than you are.

I’m gonna get up and go at four
o’clock, I’m gonna be on set.

I come from the days of
the super, super models.

I won’t say any names,
but I’ve seen them roll up

in any kind of a condition.

That’s fine.
You deserve that.

Mingi’s a younger model.

You have to be professional.

[exclaims]
That was a little spicy.

Here she is doing hair
and makeup, getting her IV drip.

I don’t even get an IV,
but I bet I paid that bill.

- Okay, let’s go. 3:42.
- MING: Mom.

It’s so important for me

to drill professionalism
into my daughters

because it’s one of the things
that will get you far.

You’re stressing me out.

KIMORA: Ming, come on.
It’s one picture.

Get the hell up
out of your chair, let’s go.

You know what? No.
I won’t be bullied this way.

I want to look pretty
for my picture.

Ming, then you should have got
your ass out of Coachella.

You’re not even
done either, though,

so what are you
talking about?

But I’m gonna be done,
and you’re not.

♪

Okay, let’s go.
We’re on set.

Come on, on this side.
Let’s go.

I’m coming out right now.

- Shut--
- She’s in IV.

This is a hot mess.

Right now
my kids are driving me crazy.

Ming, she’s grown,
but she got an IV on set,

and then the boys
want tattoos and earrings.

Aoki’s literally
chasing waterfalls.

And then you have Wolfe.
What do you need?

No, you need,
like, veggies.

My kids,
they’re growing up.

Sometimes, as a mom,
you have to just, like, let go.

It’s hard for me.

Okay, let’s go.

How are we looking?

Ming!
Oh, my goodness!

Did you make
this tight at the bottom?

IBut now she’s,
like, breathtaking.

That’s nice.
Sorry the camera’s so quiet.

Yeah, we don’t know.

Can you make the noise,
like, verbally?

Pshh! Pshh!

["How You Feel"
by Bestien Deshayes playing]

♪ Tell me how you feel ♪

My mom is
definitely a momager.

I value her advice
and opinion a lot.

She has a lot of knowledge.

She’s very wise,
and she’s been here before.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Perfect. Stunning.

At the end of the day,

I think she just wants
to be professional,

because adults
have things to do, I guess.

We have to do stuff
that’s not always fun.

KIMORA: Look at this.

Look what you came
on set with, track marks. Ming!

♪ We ’bout to get it started ♪

♪ Ready dem a, ready dem a,
ready dem a, ready dem a ♪

♪ Let’s go ♪

[line ringing]

- Hi.
- [Brandon over phone] Hi.

Do you know
why I’m calling you?

- Um, I can guess.
- Okay, why?

Varsity jackets?

I saw another company online

that makes varsity jackets,
and they’re cropped.

Hello, did you hang up on me?

- Not yet.
- Oh.

It’s a company that makes it.

I don’t know who,
and so you can call them, okay?

BRANDON: Yeah.

Hi. Good morning.

KIMORA: Oh, my God.
Did somebody’s car get hit?

People shouldn’t be parking
where gates open outwards.

How is that my fault?

- [gate creaking]
- How was I supposed to know?

- KIMORA: Oh, my God.
- Sorry.

- Oh, my God.
- [Ashley screams]

[Ashley, indistinct]

- [Ashley chuckling]
- Okay, try now.

This is not my fault.

It is your fault.
You can’t drive.

Never a dull moment.

WANDA: And what is that?

- SERVER: That’s the fondue.
- WANDA: Oh, okay.

I’ve got your spicy tuna here.

- Okay, all right.
- Some chopsticks.

Excuse me.

I need you to pray
before you eat the food.

Thank you.

so she couldn’t go home.

After COVID,
she moved into my house

because we’ve never gotten to
have Wanda as much as we’d like,

and now it’s giving
a Golden Girls kind of vibe.

They say that’s an aphrodisiac.

WANDA: It is. Mm-hmm.

Ooh.

WANDA: You can do it.
You can do it.

- Just close your eyes.
- KIMORA: I won’t.

- WANDA: Just close your eyes.
- They’re wide open.

No, ma’am.

This is where
you should put the crickets.

[crickets chirping]

That’s where
you should do that.

- You gotta close your eyes.
- No, ma’am.

My closing the eyes and just
swallowing it days are over.

[imitates crickets chirping]

So the boys came
to me to have a talk.

- Okay.
- Did you say

- they could have a tattoo?
- No,

- they shouldn’t have a tattoo.
- I agree.

Eventually,
I had to say no.

- Just say no flat out.
- Okay.

And then
they shifted the conversation

to a double piercing.

I’m glad they’re even
having a conversation with you.

That’s the most important thing.

These teenagers,
they be doing their own thing.

They got their own agenda.

They’re having a conversation
because they’re broke.

Well, that’s another thing.

How about just no?

Oh, no, it’s not gonna be
the answer, friend.

We’re in that age.
We’re trying new things.

We’re trying our mom.

KIMORA: As a single mom, I’m
the good cop and the bad cop.

It’s a little fear
that you instill in them

so that they don’t what?

They don’t cross you.

You take ’em.

That’s the only way.

- Okay, I’ll go along with it.
- Okay.

- I’ll take them.
- All right.

It feels like
watching them grow up so fast.

It’s so sad.

Not sad, it’s good,
but, like, sad.

Like, back in the day,
parenting was so easy

because the kids
were younger.

This is you.

Things have changed.

Come on, If you want
tattoos and earrings,

you are not so innocent.

And so this is,
like, the beginning

of their
not-so-innocent stage.

It’s not easy.

So I’m grateful
to have Wanda’s support.

Yeah.

- I’m sorry.
- It already came up.

Oh, my goodness.

Next thing.

Driving license.

I’m sorry. It’s happening.

But when it comes to Aoki,
she’s halfway around the world.

She’s in Indonesia,
so I just need to know

she’s safe and she’s okay.

She’s an adult. She’s grown.

She can do
what the hell she wants.

Just call your mother.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, my gosh.

Why aren’t you
answering the phone?

I’m so sorry.
I’m on the beach.

How are you?

I’m good. We miss you.

Do you miss us?

I miss you guys so much.

But you’ve been gone,
like, forever.

No, I haven’t.

I mean, a little bit, Aoki.
Yeah, a little bit.

When are you coming back
to see us?

- I’m coming home soon.
- When?

Oh.

[gasps] Oh, my--

What is it? Oh!

[screams] What is it?

I love you, Mom.

Oh, my God. Wait.

Ooh. God.

Don’t hang up on me.

Aoki, I see you’re in trouble.

She better get home right now,

or that’s her ass
and her inheritance.

Why are we here?
I’m gonna cry.

My makeup can’t take it.
[yelps]

How does it feel to do
like the one that you did?

- BRIAN: This hurts.
- KIMORA: Really?

BRIAN: It hurt my mom the most,
so she cried.

Okay, because I love them,

I kind of gave in
to the earrings only.

You think so?

You think the goal
was the earring?

All right,
I’m gonna go get

all this sterilized
real quick, okay? Yeah.

Do you think I’ve been had?

Might as well just
get a tattoo too, you know?

Absolutely not.

KENZO: Like the "Mom" one
right here.

You know,
I think that looks really good.

I think it’s still a no.

Look at me, I’m horrified.

- RAYN: That’s cool.
- Are you guys sure?

You don’t have to do all this.

- I’m nervous.
- BRIAN: I’m nervous.

- KIMORA: Me too, me and you.
- All right.

[indistinct chatter]

KIMORA: Do you want me
to record all this?

Nah. Nah, I’m good.

- KIMORA: Okay.
- KENZO: I’m cool, bro.

KIMORA: That’s crazy, Kenzo.

You’re the first one.

It reminded me of when
Ming and Aoki got their hair

blown out for the first time.

This is a mess.

She’s gonna be trying
to get married next time.

I don’t think--

I don’t think
we’re ready for this.

Oh, my God.

I made it,
but I had my tissue,

and it was wet.

- [exclaiming]
- KIMORA: Okay, who’s next?

♪ Ain’t livin’ a lie,
ain’t livin’ a lie ♪

♪ My spirits are right
in the hills on the vibe ♪

Ah. Mmm.

Gary? Are you scared?

- GARY: Mmm.
- [Kimora groaning]

Gary! Are you okay?

KENZO: She’s taking it worse
than you, man.

To see them being
such big people,

it’s just a lot for me.

You guys think you’re cute,

and you kind of are,
but I don’t want to say that.

Gary!

KENZO: Oh, my God, bro.

God knows I have a lot going on,
and so I think it just gives me

good in some areas
and challenges in other areas,

but not when
it really comes to my kids.

They’ve really
never done anything too bad.

One, two, three, go "cheese!"

Wait, wait, wait,
can I get one with me?

- KENZO: Yeah, yeah.
- KIMORA: But also,

I do think
I’m evolving as a parent.

I try to be
a little bit more understanding,

I try to have patience,

so I feel like
I’ve done pretty good.

I love you guys,
this was a lot for me.

Thank you, Mom,
we love you so much.

Thank you.
This is crazy.

I love you.

On the next
Kimora Back in the Fab Lane.

Oh, no!

She got pulled over.