All language subtitles for Fast.Freddie.The.Widow.And.Me.2011.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.LT]

You better watch out. You better not
cry.

You better not out. I'm telling you why.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

He's making a list.

He's checking it twice.

He's going to find out who's naughty and
nice.

Santa Claus is coming.

Good.

Okay.

Who's in charge here?

That'll be me.

I'm paying 70 quid a head. This is a
paper plate.

It's not a shotgun wedding at a
harvester. Look around.

Sense the tone.

Hi.

What's all this cost to me, then?

Oh. Small change for a big return, Max.

Can you pull this franchise deal off,
Jonathan? We're talking a serious

to your pay packet. Maybe even
management of the Knightsbridge branch,

And if he doesn't?

What are you like with a shimmy leather?

Quality is my promise.

Style, my middle name, and my team will
stop at nothing to make sure we deliver

first -class service.

Our friends in Dubai expect the very
best.

And that is what we will deliver. Hell,
Alex will even drive the cars across the

desert himself.

The deal is not done yet.

Do I look worried? I will schmooze the
balls off them. Because business doesn't

sleep. I'm a 24 -7 guy, Max, you know
that.

But best keep that champagne on ice, eh?

Champagne on ice, yep.

To be sober as a judge.

Hi.

Did we, um... No.

You passed out trying to unhook my bra.

Didn't you wear me out?

I tried, but you were busy revving
pretend engines in your sleep.

We're in front of the judge in an hour,
and I've been buzzing for 20 minutes.

That doesn't count as billable hours.

I'll call you, yeah?

Good luck with that.

Right.

Get your trousers on.

Trousers. So let me do the talking. Just
try to look sufficient and try to...

And leave that bloody thing alone.

Ah,

Jonathan driving under the influence.
Donald, please meet my other client for

sentencing today.

Patsy, obtaining goods by deception.
Morgan, also known as Princess Marina in

Lichtenstein.

Texan oil heiress Bunny Dubois, and when
in Rome, the Marquise de Lampedusa.

He's my barrister today.

He is.

It's your work experience, or what? What
he lacks in age, he makes up for in

persuasive charm.

Something I bet you're not short of.

He has just cleared his first million.

Absolutely delighted to meet you.

Jonathan. Donald.

Patsy.

Court rise.

Judge Underwood, this great firm affair.

Mr Jonathan Donald.

You have been found guilty under the
Road Traffic Act of 1988, Section 5 .1b,

being drunk while in charge of a motor
vehicle.

Your results.

Should I adjourn proceedings while you
continue with your business?

No, Your Honour. Worship, sir.

Driving while under the influence of
alcohol is not something to be taken

lightly. To be fair, I was stumped to
the will and therefore technically not

driving. Shut up. But it is a first
offence. And after hearing character

testimony from your employer, Green's
Luxury Car Dealership, the irony of

revoking your licence for six months is,
I hope, not lost on you.

He really is very, very sorry, Your
Honour. Yes.

Apologies, all of that and more.

I see no evidence of remorse at all.

So what about a 12 -month ban?

What?

Alec. With a £5 ,000 fine.

20 minutes. It seems your client's time
is his most precious commodity, so

perhaps losing some of it will force him
to acknowledge the seriousness of his

crime. So let's add a 60 -hour community
service order.

What? Merry Christmas.

What? Our former teacher, Laura Cooper,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, runs a

volunteer organisation providing support
for young people with behavioural and

learning difficulties caused by
prolonged truancy and educational

Well, I wanted to play the blinder. I'm
down a monkey, but only three months.

Suspended. What, so she gets off with a
fine?

And I'm stuck with retards?

Great.

Please go to the waiting area

Run away? No. Is she in prison? No. When
she was asleep, her cat shat in her

face. She ate it, copped with, and then
died.

D -I -E -D, died.

She killed herself.

Margaret is very much alive.

And even though she enjoyed volunteering
here, after the petrol incident, and

we're really hoping her hair will grow
back, Terry, she needs a break.

She went to a special doctor.

Oh, a psychiatrist.

That's right.

One of them helped me off the glue. I
could spin it. G -L -U -E, glue.

Hi. Welcome to the Moonbeam Club. I'm
Laura.

Is this your first time? Yeah. Did
someone drop you off?

No, it's a taxi.

Taxi?

Come on, I'm not one of them. Community
service.

You're Jonathan Donald.

Guilty. You had me for 60 hours through
now on Christmas. I don't mix well, so

if you can find me something in the back
office away from the window lickers,

then we'll get along fine.

Window lickers?

Mm -hmm.

These are bright young people who,
through no fault of their own, Whatever,

point me in the direction of where I
pull the Ribena and hand out the Kit

yeah?

No, I don't do minibuses.

Tough. Work experience day at the city
farm.

Being around animals helps enormously.
It helps build their nurture skills set.

This is Mark.

This is Kate.

Please, please.

Pleased to meet you. Pleased to meet
you.

Come on, Mark.

Ready? Oh, yes.

Look, my social worker just sent me new
pictures of Shandy Louise.

Oh, Natasha, she's getting so big.

She's lovely, isn't she?

Let's hope you can have her over
Christmas.

She's a kid.

What are you, 15?

And a half.

Oh. Sorry, you are... This is Jonathan.

He'll be helping out for a while. Perry,
can you turn that off?

Get off! Get off! Get off!

I'll take care of nothing.

Oh, Freddie?

You shouldn't be here to do the rest of
it. Yeah, I know, but I'm all right.

Fine.

Who are you?

You're not Margaret.

Laura's boyfriend.

Hey,

is that a blackberry touch?

Butch, it's not a toy.

So what do you do there?

International broker luxury automobiles.
What, like a car salesman?

It's not a bad piece of kit.

32 gig, GPS, better than most
touchscreen smartphones.

Smart? As in like what? Clever?

B -L -E -V -E -R?

What, does it know stuff?

When did Chelsea last win a double?

She literally strapped down.

Well, if he was so bloody smart, he
could find his own way back home, right?

Come on.

Two pounds.

No. Three quid. No.

Come on. Ten, I'll call.

Take it or leave it. Deal, deal, deal,
deal.

Hello, chickens.

I need a new phone.

Oh, Alex.

Hackney City Farm. Oh, look at this one.

I need to see the legals on the Dubai
motors before everyone goes on a

go -so.

Look, I'm up to my ankles in donkey shit
with a bunch of bats.

Special needs, people.

Laura needs your help. Two minutes, hang
on.

Go and buy yourself a pie or something.

James, that's how you catch a ticket.

Alex.

K as you go.

Tash never has much credit.

It's a joke.

Look at all your new friends.

Yeah, brilliant.

You've got Ray Manlight with the
stutter.

Dumb and dumber.

Fat one with just enough brains to stuff
her face. And the teen mum whose IQ

matches the baby she's not allowed to
keep.

Goodness knows why, but they wanted to
apologise for their behaviour today.

What time do you want me tomorrow?

I don't.

For the terms of my service order, state
that I have... Not my problem. You're

not wanted here.

All right.

Maybe it would look better if I made a
donation.

Your money isn't good enough for us.

Look at the state of this place.

Imagine what you could do with a couple
of grand, don't you?

Soft play area.

Hmm?

Talking at me.

Get out.

Okay.

You pull up over here, please, mate.
From the left. Righto.

Freddie, come on, get in, I'll get you
home.

Piss off!

You're soaking, get in, let me get you
home.

Oi, driver, he's a pervert, you know.

Picks up young lads on the street, I've
seen him before. No. He's a right

bender, a shirtlifter, a bappy man. No,
no, no, I'm not.

They're just stupid names, aren't they?

Sorry about what happened.

I think you probably are.

Stand free, Saga.

Thought I'd come round and do dinner.

Didn't think to call.

Love what you've done.

Very festive.

Well, a bit of tinsel will kill you.

Oh, I promised this to Freddie.

How relaxing for him.

How's the new volunteer?

Disastrous. Oh, I'd be happy to come in
again and help.

I'm fine.

I'm better off on my own.

I've still a ton of work to do, so if
you're doing dinner, I will say dinner.

Have a crisp.

Yeah.

You do realise you can't do your
community service via your

BlackBerry? I put in a request for a
transfer.

Yeah, I heard. I got a call this morning
about the email you sent.

Oh, OK.

No, not really.

This has to be my favourite part.

So, after due consideration, I've
decided my highly developed professional

personal skills and experience would be
better utilised in a more suitable

environment with less unique... Unique
is underlined. Unique personalities.

So, what makes you think that you get...

To decide.

Well, with all due respect, isn't it a
bit daft, making me do community

Well, you'll have 70 hours to ponder
just how daft my decision was.

60 hours.

That was before you failed to report
first thing this morning.

You can't... 80 hours.

Is this ethical?

Let's make it a nice even 100.

And if I see you again this side of
Hogmanay, I'll add a zero.

Well, you weren't much help in there.

You could always get another lawyer.

You could have raised an objection or
something.

Legally speaking, I have been wiping
your arse for the last ten sodding

Yes, you might have made me a few quid,
but now I am through. This time it was a

fair conviction, Jonathan, and you
bloody well deserve it. So get on, do

time, and grow up!

He ran away. Is he dead?

Did you kill him?

Or when he was asleep, I bet his cat ran
in his room, shat in his face.

He has a runaway and I didn't kill him.

He just didn't work out.

You made him go because he said all that
stuff about us. It's nothing to do with

what happened.

He was a fool anyway.

I liked him. I like A .D. Some people
can't deal with anyone who is the

bit different.

Blatant narrow -mindedness. They're too
conceited. Laura.

No, no. Natasha, too patronising.

Unbelievably self -obsessed.

Narcissistic, even. We have to accept
men like Jonathan don't have the ability

to change in a waste of everybody's
time. Laura.

Nobody missed you.

Well, that's nice.

So, are you...

Like the only convicted criminal in
London right now.

No Freddy today?

Oh, you remember names.

Yeah, I gave him a lift home last night.

Sorry, I didn't sell him into slavery or
anything.

Seems quite bright.

You won't find him headbutting a wall or
trying to drink paint.

Where are the others?

Mum?

Seriously? Yeah, I can hear it.

Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can.

All right, listen, everyone.

My genius mother, who it appears has
serious boundary issues, has set the

off at my flat. So we're going to have
to walk round.

Good day.

I can take over.

So I'll have my full attention.

I'll put it on silent.

I can do this.

Bye, Lola.

So, do I take a register or something?

We're already here.

Where's Freddie?

It's a rest day, idiot.

What? Why?

He's sick.

He's inside. He's found work. Terry.

What's wrong with his inside?

As if you care.

Okay.

I said a couple of things that maybe
weren't fair.

I think I was provoked, but, you know,
whatever. So, sorry.

If that's what you need to hear. Now,
what is wrong with Freddie?

It's his heart.

It's got holes in it like that cheese.

And his kidney's rubbish.

Yeah, the doctors tried to keep him up
with a new one, but his body objected to

it.

Rejected it?

He's going to die.

Terry. D -I -E.

Um, how long until... What about

his family?

He ain't got none.

Is his behavioural disorder got
something to do... No.

Just fucking bad luck.

It's OK. Laura's not here.

OK, right. What would you be doing if
she was?

Today's practice form -filling.

That's a waste of time.

Look at me.

Do you think all of this came about from
practice form -filling?

Success is about image, charisma and...
Style.

Something that you lot could really do
with a bit of help on.

What, you are joking, right?

How much were your trainers?

They're rubbish.

And that jacket is just so gay.

G -A -Y, gay.

Limited edition.

Fashion advice from you lot, really?

Loving the Moonbeam Club sweatshirts.

Laura got them printed for us. And it
shows.

Look, if you don't like what Laura got
us...

You do better. Yeah.

All right.

We're going to go shopping.

We should leave a note.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Shopping? What a great idea.

After that, take Freddie Rock climbing
or sign him up for a triathlon.

It's a rest day. Do I need to spell it
out? No, it's R -E -S -P.

Get out! What?

Get out!

Go on, out!

Right,

you want to stick to the Italians.

D &G, Armani, Gucci.

I just love your store.

Of course, when Daddy bought me
Bloomingdale's as a birthday present.

Don't touch that.

Security.

It's all right, they were me.

Mr. Donald.

With you.

All of them?

Very well.

Carry on.

It's that pretty woman, ain't it?

I hope you don't mean I have to pluck
your... Prick.

Woo! Get in.

See that? Faster than anyone.

Tommy Hart, look. Faster, Freddie.

Rapid reaction.

Come on, Charlie.

Saw all that, did you?

Yeah. No idea he was such a demon on the
PlayStation.

We get plenty of time to practice.

Come on, kick your arse.

Where are you for Christmas?

Lappand, where do you bloody think?

Come on.

Do you have family in that?

No. My mum...

Me and Mary live in Scotland with my
half -sisters, and my dad will be happy

any house that's open.

It's not very Christmassy, is it? Oh, it
is for him.

No, Christmas is all white and wispy.

You know, you can taste cold and smell
of logs burning and pine needles.

That little glisten you get when the
lights shine off your window, you can't

beat it.

It's all bollocks, though, really, isn't
it?

No -one really gets all that.

No, I reckon.

Laura does.

I bet even her farts smell of holly and
ivy.

Her husband's dead.

Huh?

Daniel, we were only married three
years.

Broke his neck skiing.

Shit.

Well, you know, I had no idea. I was
just being... Maybe you should start

thinking before you open your gob.

Good afternoon, shoppers. Just to let
you know, everything today is free. So

fill your boots.

Thank you, Joe.

Sort of. Make a change from an afternoon
spent banging tambourines or whatever

activity you had planned.

What was yours? Tackling low self
-esteem with credit card debt?

It was fun.

They had fun, right?

We're returning the clothes.

Come on, everyone, back inside.

Laura! This has nothing to do with you.

Absolutely not. My gift to them. Least I
could do. Yes, it is the least.

But we don't want your charity.

Well, I do. I know that this Moonbeam
Club, which, by the way, is the most

ludicrous name I've ever heard.

It's really important to you. It's
understandable after what you've been

through, but you don't own them.

If they want to accept this treat, they
can, and if you stop them, it makes you

look pathetic.

Five minutes of forced volunteering and
as an expert.

Tell you what, then, as you're so
capable, finish the day, see them all

safely.

The least you can do.

And Julia, the mother apparently the
couple seem to deal with.

Um, if we're taking the clothes back,
can I have the cash instead?

No. Come on, you lot.

You shouldn't have spoke to Laura like
that, you know. Not in front of

Or that she can dish it out with no
comeback.

Women like her.

Don't you dare! You say nothing bad
about Laura, not ever, you get me?

What's going on?

Who does he think he is?

Just for selling his overpriced man
prams.

How dare he call me pathetic?

They may just have a point.

Not the pathetic part, but you're
perhaps over -commitment to the club.

And then you'll die.

Mum, don't.

Seeing you go through all that, I
thought, what's the worst you'll know?

Nothing will ever be that bad, but, I
mean, in some ways...

I think this is.

You're shutting yourself off from life.

I mean, Daniel's things are still in
boxes in the flat.

I don't think it's fair making those
kids become all there is.

They need me. It's nine o 'clock on a
Friday night. They're not even bloody

here. Why the hell are you... It's not
about me.

You're the one that... You lose. And who
else will do all this? Other people.

Other people will do it. But you seem
hell -bent on not giving them a chance.

What's the use of a rest day if you
ignore it?

No, and you, a ladder against the
window?

Hardly prison break.

You can go now if you want. You want me
back safe. That's all she asked.

Is it her?

No. It's just like...

Rebooting a computer.

And you're born with it?

Born working kidney, but mine was lazy
and didn't really work properly, so they

gave me another one.

That's good, isn't it?

Well, this one decides that it's had it,
and my heart's not up to another kidney

transplant or any more dialysis.

I know, I'm like four episodes of
Casualty rolled into one, right?

Well, basically, they tried to save me
and they killed me.

Isn't that a bitch?

Well, this?

Oh, nothing.

This couple's amazing. Do you do this?

No. Kate did the letters for me in
group. She's dead good at art.

Have a look.

Yeah?

This stuff I put together, it's like a
book of how my life would have been if

things had been different.

I could pick at the house I live in.

Always stuff going on.

Visitors all the time. Get that smell of
roast dinner.

There's a family.

Mum, dad, brothers and sisters.

We're always going on holiday.

Nice.

Skiing.

Bonfire night.

Can't beat it.

I love fireworks, especially rockets.

Brilliant.

Christmas.

I love Christmas.

Yeah, Christmas is my favourite time of
the year.

Could you... Yeah.

And that's my real life, all over the
floor.

So what's this?

This is you with your, um... First
foster mum, Sandra.

How many do you have?

18 up north.

22 if you count the ones down here.

Most of them did it just for the cash,
to be honest.

Are you done?

Susan Karen Copeland.

It's my real mum.

What's she like? Do you... I don't know.

Never met her.

Well, you haven't thought... Yeah, of
course.

But... she got rid of me.

Yeah, it'd just be a waste of time.

Don't you reckon?

Well, if it was me... I'd have to know.

I'm tired now.

You should go.

What have you been doing all day?

Max has been on the warpath.

Customs need the VAT breakdown for the
Dubai shipment. These figures don't make

sense. It's all right. I'm here now. We
can crack on.

This is where we're looking at an
overvaluation.

With this exchange rate, our vehicle
commission pay is way off.

Jonathan?

Um, you know what? Go. I'm gonna... I'll
finish up.

You sure?

Mm.

All right, then.

Night.

Oh, you're actually serious.

So, despite advice from social workers,
doctors, hospice staff, myself, Freddie

has picked you to make contact with his
mum based on one conversation and a

look? Yeah, and you weren't there. He
really stared at me.

How?

Well, I... No.

More.

You are ridiculous.

OK, but when I tried to hand him back
his birth certificate, he wouldn't take

it. Don't you think I've been here
before with him?

I've made him understand the chances of
finding a loving mum and dad. You've

made him understand?

I thought you said he considered his
options.

Obviously, he needed someone to help
process the likely outcome. He's a

No, he's not.

That about sums it up, doesn't it? Keep
him that way, because as long as he's

got nobody and you're still needed, then
you get to call the shots in his life.

And that's now your job, is it?

You've known him less than a week.

Well, maybe that's why I'm best suited.

What, to dive in and play the hero, save
the day with your machismo bullshit,

your ego?

Nothing too much of a challenge as long
as you're winning no matter who gets

hurt in... You leave Freddy alone.

I won't have him disappointed. Whatever
it is you think you're doing, it stops

here.

and tell you think I'm right.

Like that matters if you're a complete
arse about it.

And don't you ever talk to my daughter
like that again.

I came here to get help.

There's no reason why I can't find
Freddie's mum by myself.

Watch it.

Watch your steps.

It's here.

Yeah.

Who's going to be helping with this next
year, then?

Terry.

Terry? Come on.

You'll probably nick one from somewhere.

Remember the flowers for your birthday?

But the card attached was lovely.

Lionel, you will be sadly missed. Rest
in peace.

Freddie! Thanks for doing this.

It's an address in Loughton.

Jonathan, you're as subtle as a head on
collision.

I mean, like, you could be twisted to do
this on your own. All right, well,

let's just not go there. If you honestly
think it's a bad idea, then let's not

go.

Freddie, remember we talked about it.

At this stage, you should be admitted to
the renal unit at the hospital.

Look, we're putting the tree up tomorrow
and you can't make me go in.

I wish it could be different.

Piss off!

Piss off, you bastard!

We've been through this. I'm not going
in and you can't make me. Freddie, shh.

It's OK.

Please, please, please tell them they
can't make me go in.

Women don't give up their babies easily,
Jonathan.

I'm sure she had a damn good reason.

Remember, this is going to be hard for
her.

A shock.

Let's play gently.

Sensitive, all right?

Yeah?

So what do you want?

We're here on behalf of your son.

Don't know what you're on about.

Born 26th July 1992.

I realise it's a bit of a shock, and
believe me, if there was a better way,

you see, we don't have much time.

I said I never had a kid called Freddy.

I never said he was called Freddy.

Yes, you did. You said his name. No, I
didn't.

Yeah, Freddy, born 26th of July. You
said his name. No, all I said was... Are

you calling me a liar?

You turn up, barged in, talking all
sorts of crap about some kid you reckon

am. Oh, you're right.

I made a mistake.

I'm so sorry.

Jonathan, I said be sensitive.

Maybe we should have called first.

Well, maybe in time.

Which Freddie doesn't have.

I'm not judging.

She doesn't look like she's had it easy,
but, you know, some people just aren't

cut out to be parents.

Today never happened, OK?

What are you going to tell Freddie?

Nothing. Don't reckon he'll ask. He'll
just think I didn't try.

What about the father?

Jonathan, you saw, there is no father.

A blank on the birth certificate.

Freddie might as well make one up.

I think I preferred it was a self
-serving arse. What can I say? Christmas

miracle. Helping someone out is one
thing. A bit of charity, a sponsored

whatever. But this, this is... Genius?

No, no. It's a lie and it's messing with
someone's life and it's wrong.

What if he never finds out if it makes
him happy?

Call Make -A -Wish Foundation or give
him a couple of tickets to the X Factor.

He's dying.

He's in pain.

He's not going to see another Christmas.
We could give him the wort.

Best one ever.

We?

How the hell do I come into this?

You want me to pretend to be the long
-lost mother of this kid?

You do a great line in identity
manipulation.

Him and his 50 quid words.

What, all this because his number's up
and you want to give him one last

blow -up?

No, not a chance.

I'm sorry the kid's going to die and all
that, but... I'll pay you.

Do I look like I need it?

Not at all.

She's just exchanged on a delightful
apartment in Mayfair, haven't you,

Cash for and paid for. And it is a
lovely neighbourhood.

I think Judge Underwood has a pied -à
-terre nearby.

Maybe you should have him over for
afternoon tea. How about it, Pats?

How would you like to be mother?

My brother said that if Joseph was real,
he'd be black

because he's from Africa.

Terry, no, let's keep him as he is,
ethnically correct or otherwise.

A holy family.

Like no family I know. Yeah, at least
you've got one.

Family doesn't necessarily have to be
blood relations. Any group of people who

care about you counts as family. Come in
all shapes and sizes.

Yeah, especially Kate's, hey, look.

What did I say about this being a season
of goodwill to all men? Oh, look what

I've made.

Oh, wow.

Amazing.

Wow.

Very spiky.

What?

Do you want to do the honors?

I know this isn't the right time or
place, and I've been over and over in my

head. There is no right time or place. I
don't even know if I'm doing the right

thing. You never asked me to, but...
Well, not directly.

What are you on about?

Sorry, I'm not making any sense.

But there's someone I think you want to
meet.

Where's Freddie?

Hello.

I'm Laura.

And you are?

She's my mum.

Pleased to meet you.

Oh, it would be lovely if Freddie could
spend Christmas at our house in the

country.

Food delivery's in the kitchen. This ice
cream's going to melt.

Why have we got half a dozen Hanukkah
menorahs?

Hopefully, with the rest of the family,
we've got two photos for tomorrow.

I've got a problem with my husband.

How's that?

Apparently, the other guy was asking for
it.

Whatever it is, no.

Absolutely not.

Freddie's mum, she's not at all how I
imagined her.

Really? Oh, please.

Don't you think she's way more
functional?

I mean, the husband, happy home life,
it's perfect.

But it doesn't mean that it's always
been that way.

I mean, perhaps there was a time when...
Julia, you're older than your mum.

What would you think if your son got you
this?

Lovely.

It's rubbish, isn't it? No, she'll love
it.

She'll want to get it right, Mum.

How much do we even know about her?

Well, enough that he and the rest of
Fred's family want to spend a little

together.

But why didn't you contact him years ago
if her family life has been so stable?

Why wait the best part of 20 years?

You never used to be this cynical.

I'm not being cynical.

Can't we just be happy and leave it at
that?

I mean, wonderful things do happen,
Laura.

Randomly, without, you know, logical
explanation.

And this is one of them?

Yes.

Well, you couldn't make it up.

That'd be absurd.

Oi! I meant to be helping.

How do you do this?

No, that's my home address, not the
delivery address.

No, no, no, don't put me on hold. Hello?

Meet Freddie's grandma.

Well, um, it's not quite right.

You'll do something with the make -up
and maybe, um, glasses.

Turn round the net.

How do you know her?

Best to don't ask about any of them.

Yeah, no, I'm with dead people now.

I just stepped outside to take your
call.

Max?

Max, I think I'm losing you.

Where's the uncle?

Excuse me.

Do you think you should be doing that
with your niece?

What have I told you about putting out
for free?

Oh, one of my best girls, and she'll
have me bankrupt before New Year. Now?

Would be a good time to clarify.

None of you have ever seen the inside of
a police van, courtroom, or prison

cell. You're a normal, happy family.

Asbo tag.

Won't come off. We tried to disable the
alarm.

He'll have to wear baggy trousers.

Cardigan and slippers.

I would never marry someone like that.

I've got it!

Why have you got a giant marzipan
snowman addressed to Mrs. Susie Barton?

that Freddie's mum?

It's a Christmas present for her, sent
here by mistake.

But you've just met.

No, you know, I say her, but I mean
Freddie, really.

So you said you had a bag for him?

Oh, yeah, just things he might need.

Stuff he wouldn't think to...

Yeah. When he gets tired, these really
help, but they're not sweet, so don't

him... And he's always losing his
headphones, so there's a couple of extra

pairs. Oh, and he's allergic to most
washing powders, and I know this is the

they use at the hospice, so... But you
are coming, though, aren't you?

I haven't heard from his mother, so I
wasn't sure if... I know they want

everyone there Christmas Day, especially
you.

And, well...

Come over tomorrow and meet them.

No, I can't.

I've finally got a reporter to agree to
do a seasonal article on what happens at

the club.

On what, exactly?

Just the members of the club, what we
do.

Not about Freddie, though? No.

I just want to break a conscience or
two.

Hopefully raise some money from it.

It's funny how it's all turned out.

Not how I expected.

I mean, it's exactly what he wanted.

And I am happy for him. I really am.

But part of me... Oh,

I must sound horrible.

But part of me needed to be the one to
make it right

for him.

But you came along and did all that.

Nothing to do with me.

It's everything to do with you, Laura.

Sorry, you have company.

Yeah, I do. What is it, Max?

I got a call.

wondering why you didn't turn up at the
Ritz with Ali Khan's people.

Odd, because when we spoke, you said you
were there.

I didn't know what to say when they
phoned. I mean, I don't speak Arabic,

Jonathan, but I certainly got the gist.

You said you'd be able to carry on
working and get on with this community

service order. Yeah, I did, but... it's
taken up more of my time, and it's

important.

That's all I have to say.

then there is no place for you at
Greens.

You're fired.

Oh, sorry, are you going all Lord Sugar
on me? Yeah.

Come on, Max, don't be tight. My mind's
made up.

It's a slip -up. I'll get the deal back
on track.

You let me down, Jonathan, so you don't
work for me anymore.

I'll need your company car back.

Now.

It's fine.

Can't drive it anyway.

I can't believe you just did that.

Neither can I.

So I thought, when they arrive, you
could get your photographer to take a

picture of the four of them around the
tree.

There's only four in the group?

Five, usually, but... That's not what
you told me on the phone.

So, what have we got? We've got a run
-down hall.

And a small bunch of Asbo brats. Look,
bottom line, okay?

It's Christmas in a couple of days, and
kids like you a lot. The Moonbeam Club.

At this time of year, they're a bit of a
downer.

Readers want to see cuddly.

There's no real story here, love.
Nothing festive, heartwarming. I'm

How about a terminally ill young man
reunited with his long -lost family just

time to spend his last Christmas with
them?

Pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Freddie, nice to meet you.

Really pleased to meet you.

The whole thing is insane.

But you did good.

Freddie, you're here.

This is my husband, George, who I told
you about.

Nice to meet you, Freddie. Very pleased
to meet you. Calvin, Sophie.

Hi, Freddie.

Uncle... William. Pleased to meet you.

Oh, and my other son, Peter.

Hi, Freddie. Always wanted a brother.

Let me look at you. And Grandma.

Oh, so handsome.

He's a bit of me, don't you think? No,
no, no.

Sorry. It must be quite overwhelming,
but everyone's just so excited.

Let's go to the kitchen for some hot
chocolate and homemade cookies fresh

the oven.

Or agar.

Don't overdo it.

Jump through here, Freddie.

Don't be angry. I know Freddie needs
time to adjust to his new situation.

But what you did for him is such a
wonderful story.

Would it be so terrible if people knew?

I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but
this won't take long.

It's just such a fantastic story.

Isn't it?

You look familiar.

We met?

I don't think so.

Ah.

So, uh, Mr. Durrells, you're the one who
brought everyone together, yeah?

Guilty. Bit of a risk.

Leap of faith.

I wasn't sure if it was what Freddie
wanted. Oh, I'm really glad that you

It must have been hard to give up a
child.

Me?

Oh, yes.

Yes. Heartbreaking.

But my life wasn't what it is now. At
the time...

I felt pressured into... And he was so
poorly.

I just didn't have the emotional
strength.

I was practically a child myself.

There, there, dear.

Well, it couldn't have been easy for you
either.

No, no, but then I'm not Freddy's
father.

Oh, he died in the war.

Which one, by the way?

The Gulf War. The first one?

On the battlefield.

Charging against the enemy. A hero cut
down in his...

I've still got his middle somewhere.

Definitely gonna snow.

Smell it in the air.

Yeah?

50 quid, it says, Christmas Day.

Make it 100, in your honor.

I won't be shut out.

Not now.

We agreed it was a misunderstanding.

Well, I've got my memory back.

It was a mistake.

You've no business being here. I think I
do.

And this might help.

What might help?

This.

Birth certificate.

Proving I'm Freddie Copeland's mum.

We want to make it to the Coward
concert.

She's the old bird who came with him.

What have you done?

Look, I don't know what's going on here,
and I don't really give a monkey.

I don't want nothing to do with... What
do you want?

How much have you got?

Stay there, yeah?

Come with me.

What was their price?

Does it matter?

On top of what the charade must be
costing you, maybe not. Is it tax

That's not fair.

I trusted you, Jonathan.

It's all my instincts, I thought.

Maybe I am the cynic. You made me
believe all this was possible.

It's come from a good place.

Don't, Mum.

His morality's always been dubious, but
I can't even look at you. Does this

matter now?

Of course it matters!

Freddy's still there believing a ragtag
band of crooks and conmen is his real

family. Yes, and he's having the time of
his life.

That makes it okay?

Yes.

Yes.

He's happy. For the first time in his
life, he feels like he's part of a

That is something I have always given
him, so don't you even try to make out

that... He does.

Everyone sees the love that you've given
Freddie.

How much you care for him.

But with the time he's got left, what
does it matter if what we've told him

isn't all it seems?

He has the right to know the truth.

Then you're going to have to be the one
to tell him.

I'm not sure, Freddie.

She isn't coming, is she?

Shall I give her a call?

No point.

Oh, what's happened to the snow?

OK,

OK, more snow coming up.

So when are we doing the presents then?
Are we waiting for Laura? She's taking

ages.

Well, the thing is, mate, Laura thought
it would be better if, you know, it was

just you and your family.

Freddie, I don't think she's going to
come.

Count if it's fake.

Slow, slow, however it falls.

I'll follow that.

Wait, look.

You're under the mistletoe.

Coriander. Sorry.

What is black and white and red all
over?

A newspaper.

No. A tomboy penguin.

I'm never happier than when she's
surrounded by chipolatas. That's enough

Grandma.

No, I'm barely roguable as it is.

Any for your coffee now?

Oh, no.

I want to thank you for the one who will
really cook for us. Well, Dr.

Meeker brought the orange tea.

I also want you to join us, John, to
hear what I have to say.

Well, Mr.

Meeker. Would you please sit down?

Come and take my chair.

I'm the man, Meeker, and I have to
dinner speech anymore.

You're 41st, you're not going to be able
to walk.

Janet, look, I'm speaking
metaphorically.

40 years.

Hey, God, would you just let me get a
run down, would you?

You're wrong.

Don't you feel stupid?

We will make him as comfortable as
possible. Thank you.

But from here on in, you do understand
it's all we can do.

How long?

Not long.

Who are all those people?

If I said, you wouldn't believe me.

Guys, thanks for coming. It's really
good of you.

I'm his mother.

Where else am I supposed to be?

The best real family in the world.

The best fake family in the world.

In you.

You think I'm stupid?

I'm sorry.

No one's wanted.

Take my world, Beth.

It's time to say your goodbyes.

Everyone says you'll be dead by dinner.

Let's look after this.

I'm going to go in here.

I'll still owe you two hours.

Community service.

Buy me a drink. Call it quits.

What, like a... like a date?

You wish.

So this is a letter from beyond the
grave.

No,

I'll stop messing.

Read on. It's serious.

So, do as I say.

For starters, you have to wait until
April the 12th.

That's the anniversary of when Yuri
Gagarin orbited the Earth. And I want a

crack at it.

On the day, don't use shitty petrol
station fireworks.

Do not...

Be palmed off with the skinny tomahawk
rockets.

They're for kids' parties.

You want Typhoon or Mammoth Explorer?

You'll fit more of me in.

I wonder what part of him this is.

Maybe it's Brian.

Or it's Willie.

Shall we maybe not think about that,
Terry?

How long has it been up?

Not long.

That was brilliant.

Yeah. When I'm dead, I want the same.

Well, until then, let's just do it now.

Laura?

Yes?

Why didn't you invite Freddie's family?

Dreaming of a white Christmas just

like the ones I used to know.

May your days, may your days, may your
days be merry and bright.

And may all your Christmas days be
white.