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1
00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:03,778
("That's How Much I Love
You" by Frank Sinatra)
2
00:00:03,778 --> 00:00:05,011
- No I know but you're
not understanding me.
3
00:00:05,011 --> 00:00:06,337
Put it there.
4
00:00:06,337 --> 00:00:08,228
It goes there right now so
I can make it on the way.
5
00:00:08,228 --> 00:00:09,217
But I gotta get going.
6
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,192
I gotta do this stuff, okay.
7
00:00:10,192 --> 00:00:11,025
I gotta go.
8
00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:11,858
I gotta go.
9
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I'll call you back.
10
00:00:13,151 --> 00:00:14,448
- I know.
11
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,984
That's why I'm like oh no,
12
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:17,984
now I'm head of the PTA.
13
00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:22,529
You have a problem with that Nancy?
14
00:00:22,529 --> 00:00:25,862
Tell it to my friends jab and upper cut.
15
00:00:27,231 --> 00:00:28,588
- Next time,
16
00:00:28,588 --> 00:00:30,798
add the words senile bitch.
17
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,577
It's more apropos to the situation.
18
00:00:32,577 --> 00:00:34,244
- Yeah, I like that.
19
00:00:35,841 --> 00:00:36,674
- Or...
20
00:00:39,293 --> 00:00:42,063
you look her dead in the eye
21
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:42,896
and mouth
22
00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:45,785
I will murder you.
23
00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:47,701
- Copy that.
24
00:00:49,824 --> 00:00:51,552
- Practice.
25
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,385
- Okay.
26
00:01:15,506 --> 00:01:17,339
- All right everybody.
27
00:01:18,623 --> 00:01:20,123
B-Real, that's me.
28
00:01:20,977 --> 00:01:21,977
Just-n-Time,
29
00:01:25,472 --> 00:01:27,055
D-cup.
30
00:01:27,055 --> 00:01:28,110
- In the flesh babe.
31
00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:29,329
- [B-Real] Ryan Keenan.
32
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:30,609
- Here.
33
00:01:30,609 --> 00:01:32,017
- [B-Real] Harmony.
34
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:32,934
- Existing.
35
00:01:34,062 --> 00:01:36,113
- [B-Real] Adam, aka A-Town.
36
00:01:36,113 --> 00:01:38,212
- [A-Town] Here.
37
00:01:38,212 --> 00:01:39,582
- Um, excuse me.
38
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:40,610
- [B-Real] Dog train.
39
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:43,520
- Choo choo, and I brought cookies.
40
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,895
- Welcome back.
41
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:45,728
Sandbag.
42
00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:48,209
All right.
43
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,042
- Excuse me.
44
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,062
- [B-Real] J-Rod.
45
00:01:51,062 --> 00:01:52,563
- [J-Rod] Here.
46
00:01:52,563 --> 00:01:54,774
- [B-Real] Loh-kee-dah.
47
00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:55,990
Black Magik.
48
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- Deuces.
49
00:01:56,915 --> 00:01:59,155
- Excuse me, excuse me.
50
00:01:59,155 --> 00:02:00,238
Hello, hello.
51
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:04,750
Are these the meetings for douchery?
52
00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:11,750
(dramatic orchestral music)
53
00:02:51,075 --> 00:02:53,658
(door closing)
54
00:03:14,474 --> 00:03:16,714
- You want to share?
55
00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:17,881
- Yes yes yes.
56
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,964
I have a brilliant tale for you all.
57
00:03:21,964 --> 00:03:23,490
I'm ofe with the policies
58
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:26,934
but my name is Wilhemina Van Bloom
59
00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:29,510
and I'm the heiress of
the Van Bloom dynasty.
60
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,177
- Well Bob's your fuckin' uncle.
61
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,161
- About a fortnight back I received
62
00:03:35,161 --> 00:03:38,153
a late night phone call
from Thadius Abner the third
63
00:03:38,153 --> 00:03:39,744
from Kensington
64
00:03:39,744 --> 00:03:43,981
to ascertain my attendance
and requesting my courtship.
65
00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:45,974
Now, my eldest brother
66
00:03:45,974 --> 00:03:48,879
and Mr. Abner were
schoolmates at university.
67
00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:51,523
And he knew I'd be at the
Gala next week in Paris.
68
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,603
Twas the annual Gala for the
Feed the Children Foundation.
69
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:58,191
I was not in a mind for serious suitors.
70
00:03:58,191 --> 00:04:00,221
I'm concentrating on my masters
71
00:04:00,221 --> 00:04:02,060
but he had caught me quite off guard.
72
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,421
Quite honestly I thought he might be
73
00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:05,840
taking the piss out of me.
74
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:06,993
- Wait, who pissed on who?
75
00:04:06,993 --> 00:04:08,131
- I don't know, did he piss on her?
76
00:04:08,131 --> 00:04:09,881
- [Ryan] Did he piss on you?
77
00:04:09,881 --> 00:04:12,051
- No no, he was asking
if he'd pissed on her.
78
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:13,521
- Did she piss on him?
79
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,708
- I don't know who pissed on whom.
80
00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:16,251
- [Ryan] You want to
take the piss out of me?
81
00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:18,052
- To provide you all
with the proper context,
82
00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,770
my eldest brother Cornelius
83
00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:21,534
for lack of a better word
84
00:04:21,534 --> 00:04:25,034
can be quite apoplectic
when it comes to his niece.
85
00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:27,834
Basically I knew I'd receive
a right old bollicking
86
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,303
and a load of old tosh
for my entire family
87
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:33,220
as the Abners are quite well to do.
88
00:04:35,159 --> 00:04:39,462
Mr. Abner himself is on the
pleasant side looks-wise.
89
00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:41,478
And the French restaurant
he suggested to me
90
00:04:41,478 --> 00:04:44,228
was one I'd been dying to attend.
91
00:04:45,099 --> 00:04:46,416
- So you agreed, we get it.
92
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,212
Move the plot forward sweetheart.
93
00:04:48,212 --> 00:04:49,962
Way too dialog heavy.
94
00:04:50,902 --> 00:04:51,830
- Yeah.
95
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:52,969
We know you're suspect.
96
00:04:52,969 --> 00:04:54,787
Just spill the fucking
beans, your highness.
97
00:04:54,787 --> 00:04:56,591
- I digress.
98
00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:58,495
The food was peccant.
99
00:04:58,495 --> 00:05:01,052
The boul en bas and the beef bourguignon
100
00:05:01,052 --> 00:05:02,543
were to die for.
101
00:05:02,543 --> 00:05:06,122
(light orchestral music)
102
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,710
The service was hunky dory but not great.
103
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,201
The waiter at one point
104
00:05:10,201 --> 00:05:11,825
walked straight past us
105
00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:14,765
and my water was clearly due a refill.
106
00:05:14,765 --> 00:05:17,932
Thadius had been a complete gentleman.
107
00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:23,986
Though at one point he used a salad fork
108
00:05:23,986 --> 00:05:25,792
for his main course.
109
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,959
(laughing) I couldn't dare
tell him it was faux pas.
110
00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:34,262
As a modern woman and to
keep things on the up and up
111
00:05:34,262 --> 00:05:38,793
I took the extra measure
and paid for dinner.
112
00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:42,205
The problem lay in the fact
that I was in French restaurant
113
00:05:42,205 --> 00:05:43,038
in Paris.
114
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:47,772
There was a 12.5% service charge,
115
00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:49,291
which I believe was the tip,
116
00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:53,300
as the etiquette in New
Zealand is not to tip.
117
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,904
In Australia it's 10%-15%,
118
00:05:55,904 --> 00:05:59,894
as you all know in London
it's 10%-12.5% service charge.
119
00:05:59,894 --> 00:06:01,960
But it's customary to tip 10%.
120
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,845
In Canada or in America 15%-20%,
121
00:06:04,845 --> 00:06:06,371
Greece 5%-10%,
122
00:06:06,371 --> 00:06:07,631
Italy 7%-10%,
123
00:06:07,631 --> 00:06:10,674
and obviously Spain 7%-13%.
124
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,232
I didn't want to cause a kerfuffle
125
00:06:12,232 --> 00:06:14,720
because the food was scrummy.
126
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,344
The foie gras,
127
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:17,497
though he mainly treats it,
128
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:21,316
lacks that unique flavor
it truly deserved.
129
00:06:21,316 --> 00:06:22,781
The ratatouille on the other hand,
130
00:06:22,781 --> 00:06:25,002
our carrot dries is far too salty.
131
00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:28,750
- Wait, the animated
rat restaurant is real?
132
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:31,250
- Oh no, sweetie, it's a dish.
133
00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:34,840
- Oh mother fucker.
134
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,730
- I was in a quandary.
135
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,742
Now remember, I did have to ask monsieur,
136
00:06:39,742 --> 00:06:42,082
may I please have a glass of water?
137
00:06:42,082 --> 00:06:43,427
When what I really wanted to say was
138
00:06:43,427 --> 00:06:45,321
oye bruv 'av a butcher's look,
139
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,927
me glass ain't gonna fill itself.
140
00:06:46,927 --> 00:06:49,800
You don't want to get
me all Barney Rubble.
141
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,633
He apologized profusely of course.
142
00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:56,004
But then he served me on the right
143
00:06:56,004 --> 00:06:58,944
when it is customary
to serve from the left
144
00:06:58,944 --> 00:07:01,111
and remove from the right.
145
00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,623
I attributed that to the fact
146
00:07:05,623 --> 00:07:09,433
that Mr. Abner improperly
placed his silverware.
147
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,953
Clearly crossed means
you have more to eat.
148
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,913
When the 11 to 5 placement
149
00:07:13,913 --> 00:07:15,789
with the napkin on the table
150
00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:18,622
is the clear sign for your waiter.
151
00:07:23,905 --> 00:07:28,072
So in the end, I guess that
was Mr. Abner's own undoing.
152
00:07:41,403 --> 00:07:42,820
At the restaurant
153
00:07:45,897 --> 00:07:47,473
and our courtship.
154
00:07:47,473 --> 00:07:48,351
- Where's the sex?
155
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:49,223
- Where's the violence?
156
00:07:49,223 --> 00:07:50,571
- So did you dine and dash?
157
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,042
- And then did you throw it up after?
158
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:53,181
- Did anybody get pissed on?
159
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,193
- Nobody pissed on anybody.
160
00:07:54,193 --> 00:07:55,089
- How much did you eat?
161
00:07:55,089 --> 00:07:56,783
- So there's no rat restaurants?
162
00:07:56,783 --> 00:07:59,033
- Did anybody bang anybody?
163
00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:03,428
- Did you at least bang the waiter?
164
00:08:04,362 --> 00:08:06,061
- In the end,
165
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:09,811
I said monsieur, it has
been a lovely evening
166
00:08:11,362 --> 00:08:14,601
though most of the dishes
were quite underwhelming.
167
00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:18,101
I did enjoy the majority of our dinner.
168
00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:19,132
So to be very safe,
169
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:22,382
I tipped 30% and I went on my way.
170
00:08:26,309 --> 00:08:29,642
Mr. Abner I allowed a kiss on the cheek.
171
00:08:40,081 --> 00:08:42,581
And we parted ways as friends.
172
00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:46,002
(whooshing)
173
00:08:54,358 --> 00:08:55,191
- Get out.
174
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,519
- Get the fuck out of here!
175
00:09:00,012 --> 00:09:02,461
- Cheerio and shit you Jane Austin bitch!
176
00:09:02,461 --> 00:09:04,087
- Get out!
- Get out!
177
00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:07,254
- Get out!
(screaming)
178
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,090
(door slamming)
179
00:09:26,472 --> 00:09:29,711
- I made cookies for everyone.
180
00:09:29,711 --> 00:09:32,461
I know Mr. S-Town, you are vegan.
181
00:09:33,837 --> 00:09:37,757
And I know you two are gluten intolerant.
182
00:09:37,757 --> 00:09:40,509
And I cooked up a special cookies
183
00:09:40,509 --> 00:09:43,081
for D-cup and Harmony.
184
00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:46,748
The are a hybrid blend
of indica and sativa.
185
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:51,233
I choo choo-ed those mother fuckers.
186
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:52,483
Choo choo choo.
187
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:59,428
("That's How Much I Love
You" by Frank Sinatra)
188
00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:08,503
- This is the circle of trust.
189
00:10:11,851 --> 00:10:13,768
We all fall down alone.
190
00:10:16,172 --> 00:10:19,672
- [Group] But we all get back up together.
191
00:10:20,737 --> 00:10:23,489
We all get back up together.
192
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,822
We all get back up together.
193
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,561
We all get back up together.
194
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:32,673
We all get back up together.
195
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,006
We all get back up together.
196
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,037
- So, who else wants to share?
13433
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