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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,772
There we go,
watch your step.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,774
I can't feel
my face, Charlie.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,478
You just had
two wisdom teeth pulled.
4
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:13,481
Watch the drool.
5
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,188
Whoa.
Look at that.
6
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:25,059
That is a very sexy woman.
7
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,096
I'm sowwy?
This awouses you?
8
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,563
Hey, how you doing?
9
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,233
Hey.
10
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:36,504
Charlie, walk away.
11
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,771
Relax.
12
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,607
This could be interesting.
13
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,745
You got a nice swing.
14
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,280
Thanks.
15
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,884
Try stepping into it,
you'll get more power that way.
16
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,121
You mean like this?
17
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,291
Oh, yeah.
18
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,559
Dial one
and the area code
19
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,761
'cause that is
long distance.
20
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,297
Charlie, let's go.
21
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,665
This woman
is cwearly a wunatic.
22
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:08,669
Yeah, but look at the
passion, the fire...
23
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,372
the ass.
24
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,577
Is this your car?
25
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,612
Do I look crazy to you?
26
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,782
Well, frankly...
27
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,355
So whose car is it?
28
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,622
Cheating boyfriend?
29
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,658
Nope. Psychiatrist.
30
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,263
Charlie, psychiatwist.
31
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,764
What more do you need
to hear?
32
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,266
Hang on.
33
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,101
So you're beating up
your shrink's car?
34
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,671
He said I have anger issues.
35
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,679
The quack.
36
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,481
Then he hit on me.
37
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,283
The horny quack.
38
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,486
Hey, hold this for me.
39
00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,687
Oh, good.
40
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,422
I'm on deck.
41
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,159
( air hissing )
42
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,362
Man, this is gonna take forever.
43
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,364
Either one of you guys
got an ice pick?
44
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,770
Don't cars like this
usually have an awarm system?
45
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,106
( alarm blares )
46
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,341
Thanks a lot.
47
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,109
Let's get out
of here, Charlie.
48
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,811
Hey!
49
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,181
You're not just gonna
leave me here, are you?
50
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,850
No.
Yes.
51
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,652
Alan...
Charlie...
52
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:37,425
So how come Mush Mouth
gets shotgun?
53
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,060
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
54
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,263
* Men... *
55
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,272
Anti-depressants,
tranquilizers, sleeping pills.
56
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,506
You want any of these?
57
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,208
No, thanks.
I'm good.
58
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,310
Are you sure?
'Cause you seem a little edgy.
59
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,613
No, I'm a wot edgy.
60
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:07,187
Isn't throwing that stuff
on the road a wittle dangerous?
61
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,390
To who, raccoons?
62
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,393
They can't get past
the childproof cap.
63
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,331
I got to say, I really
appreciate this, guys.
64
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,332
No problem.
65
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,401
Big pwoblem.
66
00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:22,536
Frankie.
Charlie.
67
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,608
Awan.
68
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:28,709
Owan?
69
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:32,880
Not Owan, Awan.
70
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,850
Is Awan a little slow?
71
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,787
Yeah.
72
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:44,157
But I make up for it
by being a little fast.
73
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,959
Uh-oh.
I know your type.
74
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,661
You do, huh?
Yep.
75
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,697
Don't care for it
particularly.
76
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:55,002
So, where can we dwop you?
77
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,204
Well, that's the thing.
78
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,872
I really don't have
anywhere to stay.
79
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:03,210
Why, did you escape
from someplace?
80
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,012
Oh, great.
81
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,049
Pot shots from
Spittle Boy.
82
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,651
And if you must know,
83
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,553
I'm having family
problems.
84
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,355
Charlie, you wouldn't happen
to know of a place
85
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,856
I could crash tonight,
would you?
86
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,261
Oh, cwap.
87
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,097
Here we are.
88
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,833
Chez Charlie.
89
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,369
Great house.
90
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,638
Oh, wow, you're right
on the beach.
91
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:34,375
I have got to go
for a swim.
92
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,884
Charlie...
93
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,353
Charlie...
94
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,255
she's taking her clothes off.
95
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,224
Is this a great
country or what?
96
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,160
Hi, Dad.
Hey, Uncle Charlie.
97
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,294
Hey, guys.
98
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,163
Rose, what are you doing?
99
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,332
We're playing
Mummy on a Chair.
100
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,968
I'm the mummy.
101
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,003
( doorbell rings )
102
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,006
Judith. Hi.
103
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,174
Is Jake ready to go?
104
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,442
Hang on.
105
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,143
Jake, your mom's here.
106
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,612
Charlie, why don't you
107
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,415
go out on the deck
and keep an eye out for...
108
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,249
approaching squalls.
109
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,919
I'm on it.
110
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,491
It's squall season.
111
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,026
Hi, Mom.
112
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,428
Hi, sweetheart.
113
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,330
Uh, what is he doing?
114
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,533
He's playing Mummy on a Chair.
115
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,167
Where's the chair?
116
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,937
I don't know the rules, Judith.
117
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,509
Hey, Rose.
118
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,810
Thanks for baby-sitting.
119
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,877
Oh, no problem.
120
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,112
We had fun.
Good.
121
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,814
So, who's the naked lady?
122
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:47,981
I'm not really sure.
123
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,250
She was trashing a
car with a baseball bat
124
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,885
when we left the
dentist's office,
125
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,287
and, you know, one thing
kind of led to another.
126
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,824
So you met cute.
That's nice.
127
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,460
But you know,
you may want to be careful
128
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,595
with a girl like that,
Charlie.
129
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,831
One day it's baseball bats
and windshields.
130
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,166
The next day you wake up
with your testicles
131
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,235
superglued to your thigh.
132
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,304
Point taken.
133
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:15,175
I'm sorry about that,
by the way.
134
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,546
Water under the bridge.
135
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,015
Hurry up, Jake.
Your mother's waiting.
136
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,217
Remember, I'm bringing him back
tomorrow night
137
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,686
so I can see my parents.
138
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,388
Why is there a woman's shoe
on your floor?
139
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,661
Uh, well, um, uh...
apparently, uh, uh,
140
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,564
Mummy on a Chair
is a very complex game.
141
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,332
Bye, Dad.
142
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,668
See ya, pal.
143
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,636
Tell your brother
he's a pig.
144
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,173
I'll leave a note on the fridge.
145
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,709
Oh, God, I needed that.
146
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:49,843
Me, too.
147
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,547
It's like all my
insanity and rage
148
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,415
have just been
washed away.
149
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,917
That's good, 'cause, you know,
150
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,152
all your drugs
are on the Coast Highway.
151
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:03,557
So, where can I take
a nice, hot shower?
152
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,498
I said where, not with whom.
153
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,803
You're so cute.
154
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,438
Right back at ya.
155
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,674
Good, Charlie.
156
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,242
Keep hitting on
the deranged woman.
157
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,844
Uh, while you're at it,
158
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,480
why don't you try
humping a bear trap?
159
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,881
Alan, open your eyes.
160
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,350
This is an intriguing,
exciting woman.
161
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,285
A rare and magnificent jewel.
162
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,354
She's hot, and you're horny.
163
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,189
I'm saying.
164
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:43,263
Mmm, I just love warm sake.
165
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,365
Me, too.
166
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,735
Tora! Tora! Tora!
167
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,038
You know, Frankie,
168
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,774
there are many fine hotels
in the area.
169
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,375
I can't stay in a hotel.
170
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,376
Why not?
171
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,845
Wow.
172
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,548
That is a very good question.
173
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,256
So, uh, where are you from?
174
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,191
Guess.
175
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:15,128
I wouldn't know where to begin.
176
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,897
Okay.
177
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,571
Here I am yakking about myself.
178
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,205
What about you guys?
179
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,339
Alan, what do you do?
180
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,909
Oh, wow, good question. Guess.
181
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,279
How 'bout that?
182
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,283
Alan, don't be childish.
183
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,918
She started it.
184
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,188
He's a chiropractor.
185
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,256
Really?
186
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,358
That's terrific.
187
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,996
I have so much respect
for what you guys do.
188
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:50,964
Seriously?
189
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,032
Yeah.
190
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,266
Well, thank you.
191
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,002
See that, Charlie?
192
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,770
My brother thinks
I'm just a glorified masseuse.
193
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,240
I never said "glorified."
194
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:05,145
Oh, Charlie, you are so wrong.
195
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,714
Chiropractors are like
196
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,381
angels of healing.
197
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,050
These hands
198
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:13,887
have amazing powers to bring
relief and even pleasure.
199
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:17,057
Hey, these aren't exactly hooks.
200
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:22,262
So, uh, do you get
regular chiropractic work?
201
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:23,997
Are you kidding? Once a week.
202
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,566
In fact, I'm in desperate need
of an adjustment right now.
203
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,701
Well, let me get my table.
204
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:28,501
I'll fix you right up.
205
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,703
Awesome.
206
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,905
Do you want me with clothes
or without?
207
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,029
Are they looking for me?
208
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,365
You didn't say anything,
did you?
209
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,700
( knocking on door )
210
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,068
I gotta go. I love you.
211
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,069
See you soon.
212
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,370
Come in.
213
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,940
Hey.
Hey.
214
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,341
I was just going
to go to bed,
215
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,878
and I wanted to see
if you needed anything.
216
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,947
Towels, sheets...
217
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,650
vodka?
218
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,185
No, I'm great. Thanks.
219
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,321
Alan got me totally jelled out
with that adjustment.
220
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,925
Man, you so lucky to have him
right here in this house.
221
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,729
Yeah, I'm living a dream.
222
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,633
So, listen,
if you need to talk to somebody
223
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:36,904
about, you know, anything,
I'm here.
224
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,741
I see that.
225
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,276
Okay, then. Well...
226
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,477
Hey, Charlie?
227
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,080
Yeah?
228
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,517
I think you're
a really cool guy.
229
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,186
Yeah?
230
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:56,356
But I'm not going to have sex
with you.
231
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,802
Ever?
232
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,804
Good night, Charlie.
233
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:13,140
Good night.
234
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,878
Okay.
235
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:21,248
Round one
to the hot, crazy chick.
236
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,990
Man, deep tissue massage,
237
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:30,791
pancakes.
238
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,459
If you had a TV on your forehead
239
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,063
and could breathe through
your ears, you'd be perfect.
240
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,304
Uh... so... so, uh... so, uh,
241
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,407
nobody makes you pancakes
where you live?
242
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,978
Not your, uh....
not your husband?
243
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,947
Boyfriend?
244
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,350
Girlfriend?
245
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:02,689
Mother, father, grandma...
246
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:06,026
c...ellmate?
247
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,803
Round two. Ding.
248
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,672
Good morning, Frankie.
249
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,941
Good morning, Charlie.
250
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,510
Morning.
251
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,478
Yeah.
252
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,482
So, Frankie...
Boy, that is a pretty name.
253
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,785
How'd you sleep?
254
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,187
Great, except...
255
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,324
I had this wild erotic dream...
256
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,494
...and I woke up all drenched
in sweat.
257
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,834
Could you pass the syrup?
258
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,170
Sure.
Sure, yeah.
259
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,840
Thanks, sweetie. You're a doll.
260
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,313
You know, I can't
thank you guys enough
261
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,349
for letting me stay here
last night.
262
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,517
I just wish there was some way
I could repay you.
263
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,554
Well, for a start,
you could tell us
something about yourself.
264
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,489
Anything, really.
265
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,192
I wouldn't mind
hearing more about that dream.
266
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:18,531
Okay, I guess
I can trust you guys.
267
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,701
Charlie... Alan...
268
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,071
I know this may sound
totally crazy...
269
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,741
...but I work
for a secret government agency,
270
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,212
and my current
mission is...
271
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,085
I'm sorry.
You should see your faces.
272
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,920
You guys are so easy.
273
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,024
All right, I'm going to go
take a bath.
274
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,259
Who wants to scrub my back?
275
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,361
Too late!
276
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,532
Sometimes
I just crack me up.
277
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,372
So... what do you got going
for today?
278
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,608
Nothing. I was just going
to hang around the house.
279
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,310
Yeah, me, too.
280
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,913
No work? No errands?
281
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,080
Not a thing.
282
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,016
Maybe you could see a movie?
283
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,018
I've seen a movie.
284
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,820
Oh, come on, Alan.
285
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:14,621
Why are you doing this?
286
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,555
Doing what?
287
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:16,890
Why don't you just admit
288
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,358
that you're interested
in Frankie.
289
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,026
I'm not.
290
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,693
You're not.
291
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,563
Honest to God.
292
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,631
Fine.
293
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,634
But hypothetically...
294
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,172
if I were interested
in her, would you care?
295
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,141
Of course I would.
You're my brother.
296
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,176
I don't want to see you
get your feelings hurt.
297
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,045
Aha! Aha. So you just assume
298
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,213
that if we're both interested
in the same woman,
299
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,015
you would come out on top?
300
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,320
Aren't you going to say
anything?
301
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,323
What? There was
no question there.
302
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,060
God, you are
such an arrogant jerk.
303
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:56,496
See, your feelings are hurt.
304
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,231
My feelings are fine.
305
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,466
I-I think the
real issue here
306
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,134
is Frankie clearly
likes me better,
307
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,535
and it's driving
you crazy.
308
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,337
No, no.
309
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,439
What's driving me crazy
is that you fought
310
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,342
tooth and nail to
keep "the lunatic"
out of this house,
311
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,211
but now that she's
here, you want her.
312
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,445
I never said I wanted her.
313
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,513
But...
314
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,382
you think
that if you did want her,
315
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,684
you could have her,
even if I wanted her, too.
316
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,321
Aren't you going to say
something?
317
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,024
There was no question there.
318
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,327
Okay, fine, take your best shot,
319
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,562
but let me just give you
a little heads up.
320
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:30,797
I am way out in front.
321
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,365
Oh, yeah? How do you figure?
322
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,635
Frankie and I have
already discussed having sex.
323
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,243
( playing slow melody )
324
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,548
( playing stops )
325
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,217
What are you doing?
326
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,219
I just thought Frankie
327
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,686
might like some fresh towels.
328
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,323
I already gave her fresh towels.
329
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,825
Really?
330
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:03,230
Well, aren't you... Toweley
Towellerson all of a sudden.
331
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,100
You know, Alan,
it's not my fault.
332
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,401
What's not your fault?
333
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,969
That I've always been
more successful
334
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:10,970
with women than you.
335
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,405
Have been, Charlie,
336
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,441
have been, but we're
not teenagers anymore.
337
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,875
You know, your-your
"bad boy" act
338
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,577
just might be wearing
just a little thin.
339
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,746
Or you just might be
a little jealous.
340
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,050
Jealous?
( snorts )
341
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,584
Don't... ( snorts )... me.
342
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,454
Hey, when the occasion calls
for... ( snorts ),
343
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,622
I have every right
to... ( snorts ).
344
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:36,196
( mimics elephant trumpeting )
345
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,698
What? I thought
we were doing funny noises.
346
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,703
That was an elephant.
347
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,838
Oh, yeah, elephant, yeah.
Well, it was good,
yeah, really good.
348
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,340
Anyway, I'm ready to go.
349
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,376
Could one of you guys
give me a ride?
Absolutely.
350
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,477
Sure.
Great, who's driving?
351
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,544
I will.
Me.
352
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,613
I've got the Jag.
353
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,215
I've got the Volv...o.
354
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,049
Mine's faster.
355
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:58,351
Mine's safer.
356
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,220
Why don't you stop competing
with me?
357
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:01,788
Why should I stop?
I'm winning.
358
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,123
Like hell you are.
359
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,424
Like hell I am.
Ask Frankie.
360
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,825
Why don't you ask Frankie?
361
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:06,793
I don't need
to ask Frankie.
362
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,095
What are you afraid of?
363
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,796
I'm afraid I'm going
to hit you so hard,
364
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,963
I'll be an only child.
365
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,132
Oh, yeah, bring it on.
366
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,933
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, stop it.
367
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,368
Stop it!
368
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,138
What is wrong with you two?
You're family.
369
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,472
You're brothers.
370
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,041
Do you understand
how precious that is?
371
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,610
Do you have a clue
372
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,912
the pain you feel
when a family rips itself apart
373
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,880
and there is no one
to replace them?
374
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,216
I mean, that's it, you know?
375
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,885
You're all alone
in the world and...
376
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,122
and it's just so horrible.
377
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,859
Um... it's okay, it's okay.
378
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,494
Yeah, hey, look,
we're not fighting.
379
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,529
Yeah, yeah,
380
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,764
we-we-we love each
other, see, see?
381
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,235
Yeah, and it-it doesn't
matter who drives.
382
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,270
You know, we'll-
we'll both come.
383
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,604
Good. Let's go.
384
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,480
CHARLIE:
Wow, nice house.
385
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,949
Yeah. All right, I've just got
to pick up a few things,
386
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,585
and then I was hoping you could
take me to the train station.
387
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:08,488
Train station?
Whe-Where you going?
388
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,357
I don't know.
I'll figure something out.
389
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,125
If it helps any,
you're welcome to stay with us
390
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,126
for a couple more days.
391
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,895
Oh... I couldn't impose.
392
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,063
It's no imposition.
393
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,064
Yeah. We like
having you.
394
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,432
Are you sure?
395
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,401
It's settled.
You're staying with us.
396
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,904
Oh, man, how much
do I love you guys?
397
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,674
I'll be right back.
398
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,282
What a nice girl.
Yeah.
399
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,150
Of course, we still don't know
a damn thing about her.
400
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:41,588
True... although that is one
big-ass house she lives in...
401
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,123
or is robbing.
402
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:50,197
That would make us the, uh,
the duped getaway drivers.
403
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,965
Moron accessories
to grand theft.
404
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,902
That's a major felony.
405
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,439
Oh, yeah. Hard time.
406
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,348
I can't do hard time, Charlie.
407
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,583
I have allergies.
408
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,786
Yeah, that's going to be
your biggest problem.
409
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,558
FRANKIE:
Watch your head,
sweetheart.
410
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,160
Hi.
411
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,330
Hi.
Hello.
412
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,064
I'm Joanie.
413
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,934
Hello.
ALAN:
Hi.
414
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,202
Okay, we can go now.
415
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,703
Where are we
going, Mommy?
416
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,406
We're going to Charlie
and Alan's house, honey.
417
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,742
It's a wonderful place
where those awful people
418
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:36,843
will never find us.
419
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,612
You were right.
420
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,850
We should've taken the Volvo.
421
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,361
Are you guys gay?
422
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,463
Unfit how?
423
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,365
You know...
( squeals )
424
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,932
Okay, we got to get her
out of here.
425
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,602
You can take your damn money
and stick it
426
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,471
up your white bread,
country club,
427
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,474
tournament of roses,
liposuctioned ass.
428
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,609
I just met your brother's
latest stuff.
429
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,010
Why do you assume
it's his stuff?
430
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,111
What, is it yours?
431
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,580
No, but it's
not his, either.
432
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,416
Hold on there, Pecos Bill.
433
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,318
No, I like girls...
434
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,453
I'm just not
into eight year olds.
435
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,623
The bad news is
that wasn't my shrink's car.
436
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,259
It's been so long since
anybody's touched me.
437
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:32,699
Come on...
don't you want to spoon?
438
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,003
Coffee? Coffee?
439
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,642
I'm the extra guy.
440
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,278
I'm wrapped tighter
than an airport sandwich.
441
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:49,015
Here, I'm running late.
442
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,484
You're going to get laid
tonight.
443
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:55,021
Why doesn't she just kick me
in the balls?
29458
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