All language subtitles for Family.2018

♪ In yo face Smash through the
glass As the fireworks blast ♪

♪ Shaggy the clown
Here to murder some ass ♪

♪ I be the strangler
Known coast to coast... ♪

The Gathering
of the Juggalos.

It's an annual weeklong
music festival

for fans of the band
Insane Clown Posse.

It's kind of like
a fun county fair,

where you could also
potentially be stabbed.

This is me.
I'm a senior-level VP

at a hedge fund
in New Jersey.

I like Beyoncé
and a frisky pinot noir.

I don't belong at this place.
I belong at the Admirals Club at JFK.

So, how exactly
did I wind up here?

And why am I wearing open-toed
shoes at this nightmare carnival?

Because I was trying
to do something nice for once.

♪ Something special for you ♪

♪ We got you covered, homey ♪

♪ Something exclusive
For you ♪

Hey, Kate? Um, would it be all right
if I left a little early today?

My brother's moving in with me,
and I want to be there to help him.

How old is your brother?

Forty-five.

And you're letting him
move back in with you?

Uh...

It's kind of a busy day.
I think I'm gonna need you here, Barb.

Fine. Well,
if you need me,

I'll be down the hall getting the
cake ready for Sarah's shower.

There's a cake?

Yeah.
And it's beautiful.

So,
I'll be out for two months.

Then I'm hiring a live-in,

and I'll be back,
part-time to start,

which should sync with when the
Parsons account is up and running.

So, I was thinking, if you guys
could prepare all of the documents--

Oh, you don't have to worry about the
Parsons account. I took you off of that.

What?

- I took you off of it.
- Why would you do that?

'Cause you're having a baby.
It doesn't make any sense.

- You're probably not even coming back.
- I am coming back.

And you can't fire me,
Kate. It's illegal.

I'm not. I'm just saying
your pregnancy is high-risk.

It's considered geriatric.

No one invited you here.

It's a company baby shower.

I can come.

What is this? Is this Carvel?
It's really good.

It was really good.

Um, excuse me, Kate?
I just wanted to introduce myself.

Did you think I was being
a bitch in there?

Oh, um,
I don't know.

But I did read an article
about corporate body language

that said you can get more
people to agree with you

by opening your arms and torso
while addressing a group.

Like this.

- Who are you?
- Oh, I'm Erin Flemmings. I'm the new financial analyst.

I just want to say I think it's so
impressive how quickly you rose to SVP.

- How did you do it?
- By working my ass off nonstop.

- Oh, okay.
- Also, the guy ahead of me had to take some time off

'cause his kid was found hurting
dogs in the neighborhood.

It was sad for Dan,
but it worked out for me.

That's Dan right there.

Just make this job
your only focus.

You're not here to make
friends or celebrate birthdays,

even if technically you can't stop
other people from celebrating theirs.

And do not get pregnant,
whatever you do.

Use two condoms
if you have to.

Oh, you're actually not
supposed to use two condoms.

It's way less effective
than using one.

Well, whatever.
Sarah chose to have children,

which means she chose
to opt out.

Her career is over.
It's over, whether she knows it or not.

Oh.

- Hey, girl.
- Fuck you, Kate.

Yeah.

That's it.

Good luck.

Oh, hey, Kate?
I just got word that the Blackburn pitch

got moved to next week.
Should I e-mail Dan as well?

No, I'm handling that on my own.
Dan's still messed up from his kid thing.

Oh, also, your brother called.
Tell him I'll call him back.

No, he told me to tell you you've
been saying that for two weeks now,

and he really needs to speak to you.
Fine, get him on the phone.

He actually, uh...
He said you don't have to call him back.

But he needs you to go
to his house later.

He told me to tell you
it's important.

- Fine. Get me his address.
- Oka-- You don't know your brother's address?

No, Barb, I don't,
because he doesn't live with me.

...soared
more than 600 percent...

...final hour of
the trading day, the S&P 500...

...and the estimates in
herding per share. And in agri--

...have climbed six percent,
bringing the year to date loss--

So, what's up?

Are you and Cheryl
getting a divorce?

I didn't want to say anything,
but I kind of saw it coming.

Nope.
Cheryl and I are doing fine.

Oh, good.

We need you
to watch Maddie.

I'm sorry. Who?

Maddie.
Your niece?

Oh, I would,
but I'm just really busy right now.

We're kind of going through
a tough time, too, Kate.

Um, Cheryl's mom
is not doing so well.

So, we're driving to Red Bank
today to move her into hospice.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Is it serious?

Yeah, that's what hospice is.
It is for people who are dying.

But Cheryl's having a real
tough time of it. So, can you?

We've asked everyone.

We'll be back tomorrow night.

- What about Dad?
- You know Dad can't help.

Joe? You can't just leave
your towels in the hamper, okay?

They grow mold.
Ah, sorry.

Let me guess.
She's busy.

Hi, Cheryl.
Hi.

So sorry to hear
about your mom.

Oh, that's...

Thanks, but we knew
this was coming, so...

Please, Kate.
It's just one night.

No.

And here's our cell numbers.
And this is the address

of where we're gonna be
staying tonight, the hotel.

She also has this Spring
Fling dance on Friday.

So if you could take her shopping
for a dress, that would be great.

We'll pay you back.
Just nothing over like, $60.

And those things on the list,
she can't eat them, so...

She has allergies?

Oh, no,
they're not allergies.

They're, um,
just sensitivities.

Does she die?

Maybe I should just go by myself?
No.

Sweetie, no.
Kate's got this. Right?

I, um...

I don't know
what that means.

I'm gonna need you
to say yes or no.

Yes.

I will watch...

M... Mad...
Maddie.

- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Great.

She needs to be picked up
from ballet at 6:00.

Tonight?
Oh, my apartment's not kid-ready.

It's all
clean lines and--

We were kind of hoping
you could stay here.

You know,
be near Maddie's school.

You want me
to move in here?

Oh, my God!
What, you can't stay here for one night?

My mother will never live
in her house again!

Okay,
so you got our numbers.

If you need anything, just give us a call.
Okay? You got this.

Uh, we got fajita fixin's
in the fridge. Go nuts.

Ohh.

Ohh. Ohh.

Oh!

Hi. Hi. Sorry.
You can't do that.

Yeah, when you left earlier,
you left the garage door up,

and there's a lot of
little kids running around.

And it's gonna come down
and it's gonna, you know...

It's a death trap, so...
just close it in the future.

- Okay.
- Yeah, this street gets really busy.

And people drive so fast.
So we all kind of watch each other's kids.

Oh, hello. I'm Jill.
Hi. I live right here.

Been here about
four years.

School district...
can't be beat.

You go like,
three towns over,

and it's like a third-world country.
Mm-hmm.

But ours is great,
so that's what matters.

Shh.

Okay. I, um...
If you're staying long,

um, some of the moms
get together,

do a Wednesday night potluck.

- You know, simple stuff.
- Oh, shit.

Wine,
casserole, dip.

Okay.

Oh!
Shit! Shit! Shit!

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit.

Closed?

Okay.

Maddie?

I'm your aunt. I'm Kate.

- I know.
- What are you doing?

Karate.

Okay. Let's go.

Bye, Sensei Pete.
Later, Maddie.

I'm sorry.
I was late to get her,

and I think she snuck
in here from ballet.

No, she comes in here
every Tuesday.

She's so enthusiastic about it,
I just let her participate.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Uh, do you have a second?
I'd like you to fill out an order form

for her to be in the proper karate attire.
That's okay?

- Oh, no. I'm not her mom.
- That's fine. It'll only take two seconds.

You know, I just really
don't want to.

So you like
chicken Parm.

Look, I have a lot going
on at work right now.

So if you leave me alone to do
what it is that I need to do,

I'll leave you alone
to do...

whatever it is
that you do.

Practice my back kicks.

Sure.

So, what?

You hate ballet,
but your mother makes you go?

My mom makes me do it,
and I don't want to.

That's what I just said.

They say I need
to have more girlfriends,

that I'm not trying
hard enough, like...

No, I know.
Middle school is really the worst.

You hated it, too?

I was a...
I was an awkward kid.

But then everything got better,
and you're fine now?

Mm-mm. No.
No, I wouldn't say that.

I'm still not great
in group settings.

I have a habit of saying things
that everyone is thinking,

but then someone is always
like, "Why did you say that?"

So I'm usually in this place
where I hate myself.

But I still think I'm better
than everybody else, you know?

So, look, you've probably got
a few shit years ahead of you.

But loser kids often become
very successful people.

So, you know...

At cheerleading, they put me
at the bottom of the pyramids

and make "moo" sounds
when they climb on me.

What?
The noise a cow makes.

No, I know what
noise a cow makes.

You're not doing that
anymore.

Really?
You're not a meat stool.

Have some dignity.

Take control
of your life.

Hi. Yeah, just fill it up.
Thank you.

Can I have money
for snacks?

You just had an entire
chicken Parm meal.

I have to have snacks
Monday through Friday.

I have to have snacks
for school,

snacks for after school,
snacks for TV watching,

snacks for just...
when I feel like snacking.

I have to have
my snacks.

Okay. Fine.

Just... obey your
food sensitivities.

My what? I don't know.
Just get whatever you want.

Yo, I like your style.
You're mad hot.

- What?
- Oh, no disrespect, little mommy.

I like a girl
who snacks hard.

I eat mad gummies
all day.

Yeah. I like gummies.

What's your name?

Maddie.

What's yours?

Dennis. My friends
all call me Baby Joker.

Cool.

- You like music?
- Yeah.

What kind you like?

All kinds.
I like all of it.

That's cool, that's cool.
You go to concerts?

Yeah, sometimes.

Which ones?

Um... I forget.

That's cool, that's cool.

Oh, shit.

Henry?

Hi. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I can have those slides
over to you in an hour.

Yeah.

Them purple ones?
Mm-hmm.

There's a story behind those.
A history.

What's the story?

You notice how they were gone?
Like, they went extinct?

They were nowhere to be found?
Mm-hmm.

I wrote to the company for
them to restock the gummies.

Months later, they're back in store.
That was me.

That was me.
Wow.

Yours truly. Baby Joker.
I wrote that.

Yeah. I probably
would've, too.

I was looking into the
future and I was like,

"Man, one day I'm gonna
have my babies,

and they're not gonna be
able to have those snacks."

So I was like,
"I'm gonna..." Oh, thank you.

It's so funny. I was driving,
and then you weren't in the car.

So... don't tell
your mom about this.

Okay.

Yeah, hi.
What?

Hey, I'm just checking in.
What's going on?

I'm just working on my presentation.
The pitch got moved up.

I meant with Maddie.
What... What's she doing?

Uh, I don't know.
What do you mean? Where is she?

I mean, she's here.
I just don't know what she's doing.

She's...

She's fighting with trees.

Oh,
now she's pretending to be a wolf.

Okay, so she's playing.
You can just say that she's playing.

All right?
You picked her up from ballet okay?

Yeah. By the way, you're really throwing
your money down the drain there.

Oh, come on. Don't be mean, Kate.
She's there to make friends.

Yeah, I just really think she'd
prefer to make friends in karate.

Karate?
No, she's not into that.

Karate is for boys.

Yeah.
That's ridiculous.

So, Kate, um,
I'm sorry about this.

But actually, we're gonna need you
to stay just a little bit longer.

Cheryl, I can't do that.
That was not part of our agreement.

I know.
I understand that, Kate.

But there's just a lot more
to do here than we thought.

So maybe you could just stay
till the end of the week maybe

and we could pick her up
on Friday after the dance?

I mean... no!

Hey, Kate? We don't have a
lot of options here right now.

Okay? Look, I mean,
you know, I wish we did.

I wish I could just
wave a magic wand Joe...

and make Memaw feel better,
but I can't, okay?

Cheryl's really having
a hard time with all this.

We're...
We're begging you, okay?

Will you please take Maddie
for just a few more days?

We are moving a lifetime of
memories here in this house!

Okay, just stop.
Just stop! It's all right.

Joe, I'll watch her.

Thank you, Kate.
Thank you.

I gotta go.

All right, you take a break.
Go take a break.

Aah!
Honey!

It's my mom!

Your parents aren't
coming home until Friday.

So that means I'm gonna need
you to be very responsible,

and I'm gonna need you
to be very professional.

Do we have an understanding?

Um, Kate?
What?

- I was, um--
- Spit it out.

Can I have a friend over
after school tomorrow?

Is it a nice friend,
or is it one of those cheerleader bitches?

It's a nice friend.

Fine. Whatever.

Thanks, Kate.
You're pretty cool.

Why are you eating it
like that?

I just like the salt.

Please leave me alone.

Maddie! Maddie, wake up!
We gotta go!

We gotta go!

Okay, good.

Go. Go, go, go.

Go!

Okay.

What are you doing?

What is she doing?

Yeah, yeah, hi.
I thought I was clear before

when I said that we keep our
garage doors down for our kids.

Okay, well, we can...
I can do that right now.

You can't.
The clicker doesn't work.

I can't.
The clicker doesn't work.

Uh, so get it fixed. Okay?

And in general,
just slow way down.

Time to put
your mommy hat on.

Yeah? Well, it's time
you put some pants on.

Because I can see
your pussy.

Have a great day.

- Okay, bye.
- Um, but this isn't my school.

It's not?
No. Mine's down the street.

Okay, I'm really sorry,
but you gotta get out and walk

because I'm very late.

I really like it here
so far.

Everybody's so nice.

Yeah. Yeah.
It's great you think that.

Shit, shit.
Are they here?

Oh, hello, gentlemen.

Sorry I'm late. I had a...
had a family emergency.

Hmm.

Actually, it was a death.

It was a death.
They're dying as we speak.

If you'd like,
we could call the dying person

and blame them for holding up our meeting.
Would you like that?

Just call the dying person
and ask them to wrap it up?

Okay, let's go have a seat,
sit down. Shall we?

Yeah.
All right.

Hey!
You're staying longer.

Let's think about getting
that garage door fixed, okay?

Yeah, okay. Maybe.

Also, it's trash night.

It's... It's what?
It's trash night.

Might want to think about
putting your trash out as well.

Where?
Gotta roll the cans.

Roll the cans to the street
for the garbage men. Okay?

You gotta do it. You gotta do it.
'Cause the raccoons come.

And the raccoons
bring ticks.

And there's no cure
for Lyme disease.

- Eww!
- Maddie?

What are you doing?

This is my friend
I was telling you about.

Baby Joker.
What's up?

What is on your face?

Oh, it's juggalo paint.
B.J. showed me.

We're juggalos.

Go wash it off. Okay?

Go wash it off.

And I think it's time
for your friend to go home.

But can't he stay
for dinner?

His mom probably
wants him home?

Nah, my mom works night shifts
at the hospital.

I'm good. I snagged
some taquitos from work.

Ooh, snack time every time.
You never catch me hungry.

Hey, nom-nom-nom.

Want some of this?
Yeah.

Got you two.
They're good, man.

Them puppies are good.

Hey. Yeah,
that's what...

Hey, I like that.

No. Oh, she did
the mustache!

So, Baby Joker,
you say you're a gigolo.

Oh, no, no, no.
Juggalo.

We're fans of the band.
Insane Clown Posse.

Juggalos are all about,
like, no judgment.

Because everybody's a freak
at their core.

Juggalos are a family.

A family of freaks.
We get a bad rap...

because some juggalos be beating
kids up with monkey wrenches

or burning down schools
and shit, but...

but real juggalos
help people.

We live and die
by the juggalo code:

Better respect
or suck a dick.

- Whoop, whoop!
- Whoop, whoop!

Ha!

Oh, my mom
just got off her shift.

I'm gonna go pick her up so
she don't have to take the bus.

Uh, how much is this?

- I got it.
- Hey, thanks.

Later, Maddie.
Bye, B.J.

Where did you meet
that boy?

At the gas station.

When you left me.

I don't know if he's the
best friend pick for you.

You might want
to keep looking.

You're being
just like my mom!

She wants me to have
stupid girlfriends,

even though they all hate me
and put me on the shit list.

The what?

The girls in my grade
made a list of all the girls

who look and smell like shit.

Then posted it
all over school.

I came in second.

Why does it say
"Maddie Beef"?

I farted in gym once,

so Tim Pizzouli
told everyone I beefed.

Well, at least
you're not number one.

Tara Gavinski
got number one.

See? There you go.

She has cerebral palsy.

Who wrote this? Girls from school.
You don't know them.

Obviously
I don't know them.

Show me a picture.

Let me see it.
Mm-hmm.

That's Kylie Matthews.
Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Cohen.
Yes?

And Tamara Yushi.

None of these girls have any
business making fun of anyone.

This one right here
with the boobs,

she probably thinks
she's hot shit right now.

But wait a few years.
She'll be a fucking whale.

And this one...
This...

This girl has lazy eye.

Come on.
These girls are dogs.

And you don't smell
like shit.

Can I go get an ice pop?

Yeah.

Do you want a makeover?

No, thanks.

What do you mean,
no, thanks?

Just... no, thanks.
I'm not interested.

You're gonna get
a makeover.

No. Please.

It'll be fun.

What is this?
Self-tanner.

I don't need to be tan.
I'm an indoor kid.

We're gonna change that.

Don't eat it.
Don't eat it.

I'm just gonna clean up...

I'm gonna clean up
a few stragglers.

Um, yeah, I don't...
I don't...

It's fine. You'll thank me.

Okay, here we go.
Here we go. Okay.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Why would you do that?

Why are you laughing?

Just... Shh.
I'm shutting it down!

I like this one.

No, no.
That's deodorant.

Did you buy
all this stuff?

Yeah. Yeah,
when I started making a lot of money,

I fell pretty hard
into consumerism.

This is my warrior's cloak.
I got it from Lord Keith

at Medieval Times
on my birthday.

This is my weapons of nature
collection.

This one defeats demons.

It just happens.

You can either eat
and have a nice face,

or you have a tight ass and
you look like the Crypt Keeper.

Not now, but someday,
you're gonna have to pick.

It's either your face
or your ass.

This is
my dating profile.

I'm not on it that often.
This is why.

Ugh.

How's it look?

Oh, wow.

Maybe I should use some more
to balance it out.

Please don't.
Get in the shower. Scrub.

The thing is, with bullies,
you just gotta fight back.

Fight back, or they're
gonna keep going.

You gotta fight back.

Fight back and take down
those lazy-eyed bitches. Ha!

I could put a spell on them
so they become wolves.

Maybe. I think if you want
to get off the shit list,

you're gonna have to stop
turning magic tricks.

Magic is my passion.

Hyah!

Hey, Dan.

How's it going?

Good. How are you?

Good.

How's everything going
with... Lucas?

It's Liam.
And he's doing fine.

So all the counseling stuff
worked out?

Yeah, it actually did.

Thank you for asking.

We had a few families
move away,

and things seem to have
calmed down now.

So it's a relief.

Good.
Yeah.

So do you have to go around
and meet all the new families

that move into the neighborhood?
What do you mean?

You know, like when someone in your
situation moves into the neighborhood,

they have to go introduce
themselves to all the--

My son is not
a sex offender.

Good. Good.

Hey, Kate, I have those
projections you asked for.

Thank you.
I'll be right there.

Glad to hear things are
going well, Dan.

So... Victus. I've been trying
to score these guys for months.

They're the largest pharma
company on the east coast.

Hey, Kate?
Yeah?

A middle school's
on the phone.

Something about
a Maddie?

What do they want?
To talk to you.

About what?

I didn't ask.

Barb, just take a message.
Okay.

I've been trying to get in
front of these guys for a while.

But they're all mostly alcoholics
going through divorces,

so it's been very difficult
to get anybody on the phone.

Um, you know, I'm... Excuse me.
I just have to run to the restroom.

Sure.
Be right back.

Get that school back on
the phone for me right now.

Got it.
On line one.

Hi. Yeah, I just got a call
from you guys. What's up?

Hello, we had an incident
today with Maddie. Can you come in?

Um, I...
I can do like, 8:00 or 8:30.

No, someone needs
to come right now.

Uh... I mean...

I could be there by 1:00.

Is she okay? That's fine.
We'll see you at 1:00.

Okay.

Great. Sorry. It's fine.
I agree with everything you're saying.

We have to impress these guys.
Yes.

Which is why I went ahead and scheduled
a lunch with their SVPs for today.

When did you do that?
Yesterday.

Barb said you didn't have anything.
Is that okay?

What time? What time?
1:00 p.m.

Hmm.

Great.
Great.

I figured it was best.
Not too early, not too late.

They won't feel judged
for drinking.

I got a new shirt.
Do you like it? J.Crew.

I used to shop at Old Navy--
Great.

I read they have a great Dutch
baby here. What's a Dutch baby?

You've never had a Dutch baby?
Okay, how do I explain it?

I guess it's like,
soft and fluffy.

It's like a pancake that fluffs up.
Okay.

Kind of like a baby.
And you can put toppings on it, you know?

Strawberries, blueberries.
I hate banana.

And you put it in the oven
and-- Excuse me. Excuse me.

I have to use
the ladies' room.

And you put toppings on it,
like powdered sugar,

strawberries, blueberries.

Be right back.
I personally hate bananas.

So I would never put it
on there.

But it's really
dealer's choice.

In Dutch, I believe
they call it panneko-ek.

Or pannekoke.
I don't speak Dutch.

Is everything okay?

No. I'm fucked up.

Oh, really?
Yeah.

I told the waitress to
make mine a Coke and water.

I read it's a smart trick
for female executives

who don't want to feel ostracized
by heavy-drinking clients.

- Smart.
- Are you trying to leave right now?

No. No, I just came out here.
I needed to get some air.

Okay. I'm watching my niece
for the week,

and something happened
at the school.

She's... She's strange.

You can go
if you need to.

- Really?
- Yeah, it's fine. I can get the check.

Thank you. I used to love
drinking with clients.

And now it just makes me
feel kind of sad.

In my heart, you know?

No, not really.

- What are you doing in my car?
- Get out!

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Thought you were my Lyft.

- Hello. Hi. Are you--
- Good luck with everything.

Hey! What happened?
Are you okay?

What's going on?
What happened?

Sensei Pete?

What are you doing here?
I don't know.

I think Maddie has me down
as her emergency contact,

but I don't know
how she got my phone number.

Uh, Kate, I realize
you're just watching Maddie,

but we had an incident
earlier with bullying.

Again? She has got those
little shits on her tail.

This needs to stop.

I know Maddie's
been picked on,

but I hope you're not
encouraging her to fight back.

Of course not.

Then I'm confused

as to why she would
roundhouse kick Kylie Matthews

and call Mackenzie Cohen
a lazy-eyed bitch

and then mention something
about the juggalo code.

He teaches her
that stuff.

Uh, Maddie is in
my martial arts class,

and I can assure you
that we don't promote violence.

We just do forward rolls
and stuff.

She physically
harmed someone.

Those girls, they make fun
of her because she's plump

and she fights
with trees.

If you punish her,
those little shit girls win.

Let's not call them
little shit girls.

Then how about
terrorists?

Then the terrorists win.

Have you been drinking?

How dare you?

How dare you?
How... No.

I think you have,
because you stink.

Well, I haven't. So, sorry.
Are we done here?

No, not at all. No.
You need to sign this disciplinary form,

and we have to call
Maddie's mom.

Maddie's suspended
for the rest of the day

and tomorrow.

Was that puke?
Are you puking?

If you're gonna puke,
don't just sit there.

Get up and go
into the bathroom.

I can take them home.

Mmm.

Feeling better?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

So, I guess I'm supposed to
punish you now? Is that it?

Can I go play
Buck Hunter?

Did you finish
your Parm?

No.

Whatever.

Look, I didn't want
to say anything, but, um,

a roundhouse kick
is a really advanced move.

And I was really proud
when I heard that,

but I couldn't tell her that because,
you know, she took that kid down.

But inside, you were
kind of like...

"Nice."

Yeah. Yeah.

Look, I know she's
technically not in my class.

But I teach a karate expo every
month in a place in Mahwah.

You should bring her.

We don't really hang out.

It's one Tuesday afternoon.

Mm-mm. I gotta work.

And I think she prefers
being alone

and making
weapons of nature

and pretending
that she's a wolf.

I don't really think that, um,
karate can do much for her.

It helped me.

Yeah. I, um...

I had really bad
social anxiety growing up.

And, um,
I couldn't talk to people.

I never left the house.

You were a hoarder?

No. I just...
I was just shy.

I'll talk to her parents about
getting her a karate outfit.

You. You're here every night
with the kid, right?

Mm-hmm. I'm Kate.

You feed her too much chicken Parm.
What?

Parm every night is no good.
You're gonna give her diabetes.

You should do salad,
healthy stuff.

It's not right.

Shit.

Okay. So...

technically,
you are suspended

and you should not be
enjoying this.

But those girls suck.
So let's compromise.

What were you planning
on doing today?

Watch TV,
practice my back kicks,

look up woolly mammoths.

Maybe just one hour
of TV?

Seems fair.

Do not order
from the pizza place.

That guy thinks
I'm neglecting you.

You can get Chinese
instead.

And when does
your cleaning lady come?

What?

Your brother's
on line one.

Got it.

Joseph, we really need
to talk about your daughter.

Oh, my God.
What? What's wrong?

Ju...
Nothing. Nothing.

I have a missed call from the school.
Is everything okay?

It's... It's just
that I thought...

We thought that Maddie
had gotten her period.

But it turns out that
she just sat in ketchup.

So we laughed about it.

- What?
- What's up?

Is Maddie ready
for the dance tomorrow?

Yes. Oh, good.
And you got her a dress?

Yep, she's good to go.

Well,
what did she pick out?

Sequins.
Sequins?

Yeah.
Well, that sounds ridiculous.

No, it's actually
very flattering.

She really needs
to go to this dance--

I'm just pulling up into work.

So I will talk to you guys later.
Okay? Bye.

Fuck!

- What?
- Just... fuck!

Maddie's gonna look
so good in her dress!

Hang up.

I'm so sorry. I swear
it was Joe. It was.

It's fine. It's fine, Barb.
It's not you.

Um, also, do you think I
could leave by 5:00 today?

Why? Um, well,
it's actually my birthday.

Happy birthday.

My brother made
dinner reservations,

but he made them
on the earlier side,

and I was hoping
I could beat traffic.

Oh, cool.
Where are you guys going?

Uh, Macaroni Grill.

Eww. Why?

Because it's
our favorite restaurant.

Yeah.

Lemon coconut.

Key lime. Let's do
a salty chocolate caramel.

Barb,
you're a good assistant.

Sometimes you...

screw up.

No, that...

You didn't... Hear your new
analyst is really working out.

Erin? Yeah, she's fine.

Heard about
that Victus lunch. Wow.

What about it? She had a
four-hour lunch with those guys.

Very impressive.
They're notoriously impossible.

She had a four-hour lunch
with those guys?

Oh, yeah. Everybody upstairs
is talking about it.

And we might go
to one of those places

where you have a glass
of wine and paint.

I'm feeling naughty,
so I might have two.

Who knows, though?
It's my birthday.

Happy birthday, Barb.

Thank you for all
that you do.

Aww.

Look.

He real great, man.

He's down with the clown,
man.

Oh, man. I don't know if
he could be a juggalo, man.

What are you talking about?
He's crazy.

You can't paint his face.
He's missing an eye.

You ever heard of
the term "cool cat"?

That's the
definition of a cool cat, man.

He could be a juggalo,
man.

Ohh!

Oh, man,
you gotta do that.

Ooh!
Shit!

Oh, no!

Know what's good for you?
What?

Sauerkraut.
Sauerkraut?

Yeah.
Like a hot dog topping?

Nah, the side.

Toppings can't be
sides, man.

But that one's a side.
It's a side in Germany.

What you
know about Germany?

Hey! Maddie!
What are you doing?

Oh, shit.
Your grandma's here.

- What are you doing?
- Just hanging out.

That's Evil Eddie, Scummer Steve.
And you know Baby Joker.

You told me you were gonna be
at home working on your kicks.

She was working
on her kicks here.

What is that?

It's a cat we found
behind the Dumpster.

- His name is Fartosaurus.
- Yeah.

Is it okay?
Hell yeah.

Fartosaurus is a down-ass cat.
Whoop, whoop! Meow, meow!

Maddie, let's go.
Hey, man, that school's bullshit.

Come on, those girls
are mad bitches.

Maddie, she shouldn't
even go there.

Yeah.
Maddie, get in the car.

Hey.
Maddie, let's go. Come on.

Come on. Stop that.

Better not grab this thing.
Get... No.

Get in the car. Smack her with that.
Smack her with...

You put that...

Hey, my recorder.

Hey, that's
his legendary recorder, man.

Get in the car.

You told me you'd be home.
You lied to me.

I wanted to see my family.

Those kids are not your family.
Those kids are freaks.

Well, they like me.
So if they're freaks,

I guess I'm a freak, too.

Get in the car.

Where are we going?

We're gonna get you
a dress for the dance.

Whoop, whoop!

What about this, huh?
This is great, right?

- This stuff is all stupid.
- You know what?

Some girls never even get to go
shopping because they're poor.

So you should be happy.

Why would that
make me happy?

It just makes me sad
those kids are poor.

Ugh!
You're not listening to me!

You said we were coming here
to get dresses.

I need them all!

Can I get a pretzel dog?

Not until you
pick something.

But I'm hungry, and I can't
make decisions when I'm hungry.

Okay, so we'll go get dinner afterwards.
What do you want?

Chicken Parm.
No.

You can't eat that
every night.

You have to try
something else.

Fine. Chicken Parm hero.

But, Mom, I need all these dresses!
Stop ruining my life!

I am not saying it
again. No.

You are such a dumb bitch!

No! You're not
getting all three.

Your mother's been saying
that for the last 30 minutes,

so stop being such a
little shit and pick one.

Nobody here likes you!

Let's go. Let's go.

I think she's
getting security.

I like this.

That's a pantsuit.
Mm-hmm.

I already lied and told your
mother I got you a dress.

I don't want to wear a dress!

Oh!

What are you doing?

I don't like girls' clothes.

Sometimes I don't feel
like a girl at all.

Sometimes
I feel like a wolf.

So you want
the pantsuit?

Would you be okay if I
stepped out for a minute?

Wait. Let me
show you something.

Okay.

Pick a hand.

Dang it.

All right.

Keep working on it.

- Kate.
- Hey, Dan.

Can I come in?

Uh, sure.

Would you like
something to drink?

Um, red wine?

We don't have any wine.

Okay, then nothing.

Okay.

What's up?

Um, this weird thing
happened

with my niece earlier.

We were at the mall,
and she just...

...started...

Is he gonna be okay
with that?

With what?

With the cat.
I mean, doesn't he...

Kate. What do you want?

Okay. Um, I don't know
enough about this,

but I think that she may be
having some identity issues.

And her parents aren't the
best people to handle it.

Are you sure
he's gonna be okay with that cat?

- You don't think he's being--
- Uh, buddy?

Could you put Fluffy
upstairs?

Hey.

Here.
He's adorable.

This is the counselor
we took Liam to.

Thanks. He seems
totally normal.

He is normal.
That's my other son, Mark.

Oh.

You're a real dick, Kate.

Got it.

Thanks for the card.

Hey. Hey.

Look, just so you know,
I did everything right with Liam,

and he still has issues.

So be careful, or you're
gonna screw this up.

Good luck.

♪ The sun and the moon
And even Mars... ♪

Hey.
Hey.

Can I come in?

You may enter.

♪ Everything
You believed in as kids ♪

♪ Fuckin' rainbows... ♪

Sensei Pete
was really impressed

with your roundhouse kick
the other day.

But next time,
don't do it to a girl.

Okay.

Can I show you something?

I found this downstairs.

This is me.

And this is your dad
when we were kids.

You looked like me.

Yeah.

It was my tenth birthday.

And I really wanted
to have a sleepover party.

But our parents would openly
fight, so it was always a gamble

whether or not
we could have friends over.

That, and they'd rent these really inappropriate
movies and never send anybody to bed.

I think the entire neighborhood
watched The Crying Game at our house.

And a week later,
nobody was allowed back.

So, your dad and I,
we spent a lot of time by ourselves.

I mean, I don't even talk
to my dad anymore.

Kate?

I really don't want to go
to the dance tomorrow.

I promise I'll tell
Mom and Dad you took me.

Just... please
don't make me go.

Okay.

You don't have to go.

Wait, Maddie.

Maddie.

I made you lunch.

Thanks.

You want me to come back
at lunch?

Why?
I don't know.

You can... eat in my car.

Eat in your car? No.

Do you want to just skip today?
But I have a history test.

So, you can do whatever.
You can take it next week.

But I know everything now.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah. Why are you
being so weird?

I'm not being so weird.

Stop being
such a little bitch.

Have a good day.

Hey, Kate,
did you see my e-mail?

No. But do you want
to cut out

and go to that Thai massage
place down the street?

I won't tell anybody.
Those ladies are really strong.

Um, actually,
I e-mailed over the Victus pitch.

It's at 8:00
at Ciccolo's.

What?
Management's flying in.

Um, okay.

I'll go put something together
right now.

Actually, Kate,
I'm gonna take this one.

Ha! Yeah, sure.

No, I am. I e-mailed Henry,
and he said it was fine.

You e-mailed my boss
behind my back?

You were out getting cupcakes
for someone's birthday.

Yeah, I was.
I was getting cupcakes for Barb.

Because she has nothing.

Except an adult brother
who lives with her

and then takes her to eat
at sad-as-fuck Macaroni Grill.

Do you know who moves in with their
sisters at 43? Serial killers.

So excuse me for trying
to do something nice for Barb

because her brother
is a fucking serial killer!

My brother's
a fucking quadriplegic!

He has to blow in a little tube
just to move around, you bitch!

Do you see what you just did?

I'm just doing my job.
You're the one that's checked out.

I am not checked out.
I'm having a really tough week.

I've got a kid who's trying
to be a juggalo.

Do you know what that's like?
No, you wouldn't.

Because you're in your twenties.
And yo do things like go to brunch

- and drink energy drinks.
- So?

It is hard for adults who have
families and responsibilities.

Things just happen.
So have a little decency

before you jump
on someone's job

that they've been working for
their entire life!

I was just taking
your advice.

Is that my shirt?

Yeah. I got it on sale.

You are not getting
that account.

Ciccolo's? 8:00?

I will be at that pitch.

Hey, Kate.
Just a dad reminder.

Letting you know Maddie has her dance
tonight. So if you could drop her off...

Cheryl said you got her
a sequined dress?

Oh, that's cool.

Hey, Kate.
You got a sec?

Actually, I don't.
I'm really in a hurry.

I just kind of need your help getting
Maddie out of the bounce house.

She's playing
a little rough.

It's a fucking
bounce house, Jill.

Well, it's ages four to six,

and she's kind of taking
the bounce out of it.

And it's not as fun for the
other kids if the bounce is gone.

Fine. Fine.

Maddie? See?
I got all these moms looking at me.

Maddie?
Come on, let's go.

Let's go.
Why?

Because I'm late
for a meeting,

and she doesn't
want you here.

And you're ruining the party
for all of these grown women.

Okay. Hey. I know you.
You think you're hot shit.

You probably think
my life is small.

But I have a husband,
I have a home,

- and I have four priceless children!
- Okay.

You think you're all cool
'cause you got some fancy job?

And you speed through here
with your fancy frickin' car.

What are you wearing,
a thong?

You got a thong
under there?

You're selfish and you're
gonna hurt somebody.

You don't belong
around children.

You belong in
an airport wine bar.

You're right. I do. I do.
Whatever.

- Hey, Maddie, come on.
- No, absolutely not.

I'm sorry. You had a good time.
Now it's time to go.

Maddie, you stay in there!
Oh, my God.

Maddie?
Bounce, Maddie! Play!

- Maddie, if-- You are a bitch!
- Leave her alone!

- Maddie, bounce!
- Bitch!

- You're a crazy bi--
- Maddie, stay in there.

Aah!

My baby!

Oh!

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Why would you...
Uhh! Ohh!

Oh, shit.
Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!
Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Ow! Pull it up!

Stupid.

I'm so sorry. Shit.

What is wrong with you?
Psychopath!

Come on, honey.

Don't worry.
I won't tell my mom.

Get in the car.

Are we getting dinner?
Get in the car!

Wait. Wait.
Why are we here?

Your parents are gonna pick
you up after the dance.

No, Kate. Please don't make
me go in there. I can't.

I have a meeting, so...

I'll do anything. I'll...
I'll let you pluck my eyebrows.

Go inside.
Please, Kate.

They're all gonna make fun of me.
That's not my fault.

Please. I am not your mother.
This is not my problem.

But I'm in a cape!

If you want to run around
looking like the Burger King,

then kids are gonna
make fun of you.

I've spent this entire week
trying to take care of you

when I should've really been
trying to take care of myself.

I have no business
watching kids.

This week was a mistake.

You think that?

Yeah, I do.
Now get out of my car.

Maddie Beef!

I need a kid!
Listen, I need a kid.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Whoa, whoa.

My niece, Maddie Stone.
I need to get her.

Okay, only staff and children
are allowed inside, so...

Oh! Okay.

Fine, fine, fine!

You go get her.
Her name is Maddie Stone.

I'm gonna check the list.

Fine.

We couldn't let her in.
She wasn't wearing formal attire.

- She wasn't in formal attire?
- Yes.

She was wearing a suit,
and she was wearing a cape.

I don't know what could be
more formal than that.

She was wearing
a costume.

The costume ball
is in October.

And you also let
those kids in.

She's rubbing his dick.

That doesn't seem
very formal to me.

Can you go
stop that?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?
We called her mother.

You called her mother?
Yeah.

Real mature.

Maddie!

Maddie!

Maddie, please stop.

Please stop.

Maddie, please.
Maddie, get in the car.

No.
I'm so sorry.

Please?

I thought
you were my friend.

I am your friend.
No, you're not.

You don't have
any friends.

All you care about
is your stupid job.

That is not true.
I care about you.

Then why would you
leave me there?

You knew they'd all
make fun of me!

I... I'm so sorry.
I was upset about other stuff.

I'm supposed to be like everyone
else, and I can't.

I can't be like
everyone else!

Okay.
I can't breathe.

Okay. I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.

Kate.
What'd the doctor say?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! No! My baby!

No! No, I just mean I haven't
spoken to the doctor yet.

God damn it, Kate!

Okay, you can go.
Ohh!

We'll take it from here.

No, I want to
make sure she's okay.

Oh, now you care?
The school called.

You didn't tell me
that Maddie was suspended.

And now she's in the hospital.
So I don't know.

Is she pregnant, too?

No.
I don't think so.

Guys?

Maddie's fine.

It was pre-anaphylaxis.

Has she been exposed
to any allergens recently?

Um, I don't know.
What has she been eating?

- Just normal things.
- Like what? Like...

She's been eating eggs,
cereal, chicken Parm.

No. She can't have tomatoes.
That was on the list. That's on the list.

You told me she wouldn't die,
so I forgot about the list.

Okay, how much
did she have?

Just a couple times.
Just five times.

Five ti...
You fed her chicken Parmesan

every single night?
That's gross, Kate.

That's what
she wanted to eat.

That'd
definitely explain it.

We gave her epinephrine,
and she's resting now, so you can see her.

Thank you. I would love that.
Thanks so much.

Look, Cheryl, I know you think
that I was a terrible babysitter.

And in many ways,
I probably was.

But I do care
about Maddie.

Then why are we here, Kate?

My mother is dying,
and I can't even be with her.

So thank you!
Thank you for your help!

Joe, I got the name of a counselor
who helped my coworker's kid.

Granted, he was beating up
dogs, so it's different.

But it might help.
Just stop!

I just want to help.

Oh. Since when?

You never,
ever wanted to help.

You couldn't help me when I
had to put Dad into rehab.

Dad is in rehab?
Yeah.

And guess who had to do everything
'cause you couldn't be reached?

Well, I didn't know.
If you'd told me, I would've done--

You would've what?
I would've done something!

No, no. You would've
written a check. Yes!

I don't want your money, Kate.
I want a sister!

Guys, we have an area
for families to fight.

It's on
the second-floor terrace.

Do you want to go?

No. I don't.

Shit.

You go ahead.
I'm gonna take it slow.

Okay.
Thanks.

Hey. Jill?

Hello.

I'm really sorry
about the garage.

And I'm really sorry about
tackling you in front of your kids.

I'm sorry, too.

What are we doing?

Do you want to come over for a glass of wine?

Okay.

Fuck her.

♪ I don't wanna be funny
Anymore ♪

♪ I don't wanna be funny
Anymore ♪

♪ Lately I've been feeling ♪

♪ Like the odd man out ♪

♪ I hurt my friends Saying
things I don't mean Out loud... ♪

Jesus!

Uhh!

♪ I don't want the joke ♪

♪ To be on me ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll buy the clothes
And I'll be the best dressed ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll read the books ♪

♪ And I'll be the smartest ♪

♪ I'll play guitar ♪

♪ And I'll be the artist ♪

♪ Try not to laugh ♪

♪ I know it'll be hard ♪

♪ I'm serious ♪

♪ I know it's a first
But... ♪

His ashes?
Yeah, right over the park.

Get out. You're making this up.

Hey, Dad.

Kate.

Good to see you.

What are you doing here?

Well...

I finally decided to face my
addiction to drugs and alcohol.

- Joe tell you about the DUI?
- No, he didn't.

But I actually meant
all this... all this stuff.

Oh, we're putting on a
talent show this weekend.

They tell you to pick
a recovery song.

So I chose Phil Collins'
"Against All Odds."

Should...
Should be good.

- Let's, uh... Let's sit. Let's sit.
- Yeah.

Um, you want a snack
or something?

No, I'm... I'm fine.

So, how's work?
It's good.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Good. Sorry I haven't been
around for the last few...

Years.

Well, hey, you know,

we never were
a really tight-knit group.

Your mom and I fought
all the time, and...

you kids did what you had
to do to get through it.

I just want to say
I'm glad you came.

You know,
I'm here for you.

We can talk anytime.

Yeah.

It's just that I'm starting to
think that I'm not very happy.

You know?
All I do is work.

I don't go on dates.
I sleep in my office.

Uh-huh. You...

You should grab
a pamphlet, you know?

They're everywhere.
Good stuff.

Yeah.
Good stuff.

Look, I'm... I'm...

sorry I wasn't
a better father to you.

And it sounds like you're going
through some stuff right now.

I wish I had some advice.

Hey, Charlie!

Oh,
I gotta rehearse.

Want to stay and
watch a little bit?

Sure.
Okay. Good.

Okay.

This on? Check. Hello?

Hello? Can someone turn the
mic--

Good work, guys.
Really good. That's right.

Your kicks are getting really high, man.
That's really good.

Stop spitting at him.

Hey.

Hi.

I just wanted to see if I could
catch Maddie. I wanted to say hi.

She, um...
She didn't come in today.

Oh.

She was in the hospital.

What... What happened?

I fed her
too much chicken Parm.

Yeah, she's allergic
to tomatoes.

Wow. Okay.

Anyway,
I just...

thought
you should know.

Hey.

Do you want to do
some karate?

What happens
if somebody has a gun?

Oh, God. Man,
I hate that question.

It's like... ugh.

Yeah, because
you'd be screwed.

Hey, hey. I hate that.

You don't
remember a Maddie? Wait.

Our checks go through
every single month.

You've never seen
our daughter?

Aside from the first time,
when you met me,

you've never seen her?
Kate, what are you doing here?

Just doing some karate.
Is Maddie with you?

Because I dropped her off at
ballet, and now she's not here.

She doesn't do ballet.
She hates ballet.

I told her to tell you months ago.
But she comes here.

Who are you, man?
I'm Sensei Pete.

...in her leotard in her dance skirt...
This is my dojo.

I teach
your daughter karate.

You're a black belt?

That's so cool.
That's years of work.

Licensed weapons, man.

It's not like the movies.
You should come in.

I tried when I was a kid.
I got to brown belt--

Where is our daughter?

- Stop the car.
- God.

Okay.

What? This is
a gas station, Kate!

I know. She's usually
right here by the...

by the propane tanks.
Oh, that's good.

Hi. Is Baby Joker here?

Who?
Dennis.

Oh, yeah. He went down
there to the gathering.

Oh. Magic: The Gathering.

Okay. So she's with nerds.
We're good.

Oh, no, no.
The juggalo gathering.

Oh, no.

What? What's a juggalo?

Basically all the horrible
people in the planet

and multiply that by like,
I don't know, 10,000.

And then put them all together,
getting drunk, eating funnel cakes

and vandalizing public property, and then
you have the Gathering of the Juggalos.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, sorry for your loss.

Hurry up!

Just get in the car!
Come on!

Oh, man.
I always thought I'd be the one

to take her to her first concert.
Joe!

Whoop, whoop!

♪ Kick the clown
In the forehead ♪

♪ And I'm jugglin'
Jugglin' yo head ♪

- ♪ Jed ♪
- ♪ You big, fat Redneck, muddy-ass hick ♪

♪ I'm a city slicker ♪

♪ And I'm comin' to get ya
Hit ya ♪

♪ And the carnival's
Gonna get wit' ya ♪

♪ Oh, I might as well
Mention... ♪

Oh, my God. I can't believe
I was worried about her doing karate.

Okay, wait.
This isn't that bad.

The guy's shirt
says "Harvard."

Oh, God.
It says "hatred."

Where's the entrance?
How do we get in?

Honey, we should've gotten more cash.
Do you have any cash?

All right, babe. Can you just calm
down, please? We'll figure it out.

Maybe it'll be over soon,
and we can just wait this out.

We're not gonna wait it out! If Mad is in
there, I'm gonna go in there and find her!

Oh, God.

Yeah, I know.
I saw him, too.

I saw him. All right.
Breathe.

Maybe there's just like,
a gate we pay at?

A gate? There's no sense
of commerce here.

That guy has a knife in his leg.

That is a knife.
Hey, man, you good?

Yo, you need some wristbands?

Yes, we do.
Do you have an extra?

I got one extra.
Okay.

Two hundred.

Two hundred. Great.
We'll take it.

All right?
That's everything.

Just give me the wristband.
Hold on.

Y'all don't look
like juggalos.

In fact, you look like my mom.

And she's a bitch,
and I hate her.

Okay, I'm going in there
to get my daughter,

and she's 11.
No.

- You ain't got no titties.
- What?

Grow your ass a pair of titties
and you can come in.

Hey, excuse me.

I have titties.

Okay, titties.

Let's go
to the Hell Wagon.

Hey, hey. Use the special
moves that I showed you.

She'll be fine.
Yeah. She's got this.

This is terrifying.

♪ I get mad
I'm-a fuck you up ♪

♪ It's me and you, motherfucker
I'm-a fuck you up ♪

♪ You done fucked up now
I'm-a fuck you up ♪

♪ They hit me with A tranquilizer
dart And shocking me with Tasers ♪

♪ But still I'm throwing kicks
And punches faster than lasers ♪

♪ Fifteen coppers on me
Like a mini fucking army ♪

♪ They can't harm me 'Cause I'm
madder Than a mutant zombie ♪

♪ One by one I throw 'em off me
Like a raging gorilla ♪

♪ Pissed off like a rattlesnake
Roaring like Godzilla ♪

♪ I flipped they cars over
Somehow got away clean ♪

♪ I didn't show my painted face
Again until the gathering ♪

♪ I get mad
I'm-a fuck you up ♪

♪ It's me and you, motherfucker
I'm-a fuck you up... ♪

And I was like,
"Thank God the rain came."

'Cause there was no way
to get that vomit off me.

Uh, hi. Excuse me.
I'm sorry to bug you.

- Huh.
- I'm wondering if you've seen a girl.

What'd she look like?
She's 11.

No shit?

You lost your kid.
Man, that's not good.

No. Why would you bring a kid here?
What's wrong with you?

I didn't bring her here. Why would you
do that? Kids need strong boundaries.

They need to know that you're in charge.
You can't just bring a kid here

and let them do
whatever they want.

I 100 percent agree
with you.

I'm just asking
if you've seen a...

Tell me again what she looks like.
A girl.

'Cause I'm on a lot of drugs
right now.

She has brown hair.
Do you have ecstasy?

I think she was wearing...
No, I don't.

Ninjas, ninjettes!

Juggalos and juggalettes!

It's about damn time!

Get ready for this year's
Miss Juggalette Pageant!

- Whoop, whoop!
- Whoop, whoop!

Juggalettes,
bring your fine asses on out here!

Whoo!

Show me right now.
Just come with us.

Straitjacket,
kick that shit, man!

All right, what's your name?

Yo. Becca.

Becca, what's up?
Where you from?

Great Falls!

Down with the Clowns till I'm
dead in the ground. Whoop, whoop.

All right, she's from
Great Falls or some shit.

What you gonna do
for the juggalos tonight?

Oh, I'm already fuckin' hardcore crumpin'!
Whoop, whoop.

Hardcore crumpin'.
Give it up for Rebecca!

Whoop, whoop!

Yo, judges, what do you figure?
Would you give her a nine?

Two?
I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Um, I'm looking
for my niece.

Her name is Maddie.

She's here by herself.
She's, uh...

Show us your butthole!

I can't...
I can't do that.

She's, um, brunette.
She's kind of tall...

um, for her age.

Hold up!
She's looking for a kid!

Yeah. Yeah, I am.
I'm looking for a kid.

Um...

She's 11.
She's kind of tall.

She's like, I don't know.
Like, maybe that tall.

When'd you
last see her?

Um, her name is Maddie.

Hey, Maddie!
Maddie!

Maddie! Maddie!

Maddie! Maddie!

Maddie! Maddie!

Can't have a kid out there
lost like that.

Maddie! Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!

Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!

Let's find
this fuckin' kid.

Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!

Maddie!

Maddie!

Maddie?

Hey, you don't see her?

Ohh!

How's it looking,
Steve?

Oh, that's fucked up, man.

Hey! That's her!

Maddie, stop!
Stop making me run!

Uhh!
Ow!

Maddie.
Get off of me.

I'm sorry.
What are you doing?

What are you doing here?

I told you.
I'm a juggalo.

So, what?

You're gonna paint your face
like a clown person

until you're unrecognizable?

Yes.

And what else does this
lifestyle change entail?

I'd need a street name.

Got it. It's a ton of work
to change your name.

Requires lots of forms,
just so you know.

Sometimes I get
so confused.

And then I get upset because
everyone else is so normal.

Maddie...

nobody is normal.

I mean, do you see
where we are right now?

Easy for you to say.
You're perfect.

Maddie, I'm a mess.

I work all the time
to avoid myself.

And I never know
what to do with my arms.

My last romantic relationship
was six years ago.

And that was basically because I just
started following this guy around.

You followed him around?

I just kind of put myself
in places he was at,

and then we'd make out
sometimes. Ugh.

That's not a relationship.
I know.

Look, nobody knows
what they're doing.

And besides, everyone's
a freak at the core. Right?

Your face is painted.
I know.

A nice girl named Raven
of Sin did it for me.

And your parents are here.

I know.
You did this to yourself.

Let's go.

I saw they have
a pretzel stand.

You want some salt?

No, I get it, guys.
I followed Phish for like, three months.

Billy Joel's Storm Front Tour.
Great stuff.

So, you guys like,
take time off work?

Oh, my God! Baby, hi.

Oh, I was so worried.

Is she okay?
She's okay, right?

Was she in one piece?
Sensei Pete!

Okay, now,
you're in so much trouble.

Who... Who are
all these kids?

Those are Maddie's
new friends.

We were only gone
a week, Kate.

I know they look
offensive

and they play
with their spit

and all their songs are
about stabbing people

and they have no intention
of fitting into society

- and they work at places like Lids.
- That's too many things.

But once you get past
all that,

they're really
kind of sweet.

Okay. I...

I didn't mean
to be hard on you.

I just really want Maddie
to have friends.

I just don't want it to be hard
for her like it was for me.

Maddie is perfect.

All she needs is you.

You really stink.
And you look terrifying.

Yeah, I know.
I know that I do. Let's go.

Let's go!

Bye, B.J.
Later, Maddie.

I got a tattoo.

Oh, come on.
What?

Is she serious?

Are you serious?
It's removable.

Later, Throat Slasher.
Bye, guys.

Peace.
See ya.

Hey, Sarah?

I wanted to give you these.

They're the projections
we're gonna be using

on the Parsons account
for the next six months.

So you will be all up to speed
when you get back.

Thanks.

Hey.

We're skipping out early
to grab a bite.

You want to come?

Yeah. Yeah, I would.

- Where are you guys going?
- Mahoney's.

Why? That place sucks.

Well, that's where
we're going.

Okay, cool.

Cool, I'm just gonna go
grab my stuff.

- Don't leave, okay?
- Hurry up.

Hey, Barb. I'm taking off
early with Dan and Sarah.

So if you want to head
out, you can. Oh.

I just need you to clean
up my office before you go.

Oh.

Bruce!

Hey.

Erin, how's it going?
It's great.

You got that big
presentation tomorrow. Yeah.

All right, well,
try and get some sleep.

You're gonna do great.

But no so great
if you don't sleep at all.

I hate this.
Okay.

Hey, guys.

Um, I'm ready.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi.

So, I forgot the salad,
but I brought you some wine.

Ooh, that's a lot of wine for an
afternoon, but let's dance.

Well... Hey. Hi.
Hi.

Are you hungry now?
Do you want some cheese or something?

Uh, no, I'm good.
My assistant and I

had a big lunch at Macaroni Grill.
Huh?

It was all right.
Mmm.

Wow! Looking sharp.

I made some new weapons.
Do you want to see?

Oh, Maddie,
Aunt Kate just got here.

Let's let her relax a little bit.
No, I do.

I want to see your new weapons.
Let's go.

Have fun, but don't get too dirty.
We're gonna eat soon.

Let's see.

Oh. Nice.

This one's mine?
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

How are those
mean girls doing?

Hmm, they've been dormant.

Really?
That's pretty good.

Did you go see
Sensei Pete yesterday?

Maybe.

Just not so hard this time.

Why?
You jealous of my moves?

'Cause I'm scared of you.

♪ The new kid on my street ♪

♪ She kind of looks like me ♪

You're getting good at this.

♪ We like to sing
This song in harmony ♪

♪ And her mama sings, too ♪

♪ And the old man
Taps his shoe... ♪

Family is everywhere.
It ain't about who you are,

where you come from.

It's about showing respect
and love to everybody, man.

I think the family term comes
from when people gather like this.

Individually, you're a juggalo.
But when we gather together,

everybody has
each other's back.

If you're low on water,
if you're low on food, we got you.

You know what I mean?
If you need a place to sleep, we got you.

In my mind, juggalo is like,
the way you love, the way you live.

It ain't got nothin' to do
with all the negative things

that everybody
make it out to be.

I'm raised
like a juggalo, but...

I ain't that clear
what a juggalo is right now.

I was born a juggalo, but I didn't
find out till I was 16 years old.

Everybody that's
a fuckin' juggalo is here.

They might not know
till they're 30, 40, 50.

You can't really explain a juggalo, man.
You really can't.

These motherfuckers
are random as shit.

I remember
my very first time

I actually got invited
to like, a juggalo party.

You know, I'm a big guy.
Like, they fuckin' just accept me.

I remember one juggalo told me,
he was like,

"The bigger you are,
the more to love."

And I was like, "What?"
This is not a gang.

This is fuckin' beautiful.
This is family.

Don't forget: When you're at the
gathering of the motherfuckin' juggalos,

call your mom.
Call your mom.

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪
♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪
♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪
♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪
♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪
♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ We're all young together ♪

♪ It all felt like a dream ♪

♪ Tell me now
What's growing of me ♪

♪ The years felt
Like a breeze ♪

♪ As they passed us by ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Time feels like a road ♪

♪ Never know which way
It'll go ♪

♪ It's a one-way thing ♪

♪ We can't turn back ♪

♪ And we always say good-bye ♪

♪ We leave and change
I don't know why ♪

♪ But we keep the old times ♪

♪ In our minds ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ And we always say good-bye ♪

♪ We leave and change
I don't know why ♪