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Original subtitles

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Mom, Dad, I'm a homosexual.

What a horror the word "homosexual"!

Mom.

Dad.

I was born different.

Too stupid. No. Again...

Mom.

Dad.

I am a homosexual.

Why the fuck am I laughing?

No.

Mom, Dad

I'm gay.

I'm gay. I'm..

I'm gay.

Gay, open, free.

Gay.

Gay Gay.

You hurt me, bitch.

Hey!

Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you

Another bad dream?

All because of this sleeping pill you gave me last night

That's homeopathic. It's practically fresh water.

Works the same on me

There are no more men now

- Says who? - Ah, you guys put on lotions...

- More girly than us women. - Why are you looking at me?

If you can put on lotion in the morning

Time to get up.

Speaking of getting up

Ste, no! Stefania!

Stefania!

I don't want to ruin your party

But this junk has no reaction on you okay?

- No - No. Only hydraulic pressure

- Hydraulic pressure - Yes. But what do you want to know?

- I'm highly curious to find out - Ste, no.

Even if I were straight

I would have you take your bad breath away, get it

Yes, that's right. I'm gay.

How many of you at this moment are thinking...

"That's the guy who has bread but no teeth"?

Have you ever had a day that could have changed your life?

Well, now I'll tell you mine.

It sucks that you're leaving today

You don't like me a little bit?

I also feel bad about it

It's a 2 hour flight to Madrid

Don't forget I'm leaving my lucky lamp to you

Anyway, I hate Eduard. Why couldn't he come here?

For a lot of reasons

For instance, I need some foreign experiences.

Away from your parents

Another reason.

Look, I have an idea.

Tonight, at the farewell dinner you come out. That will solve the problem

Then Eduard moves here and you make your girlfriend happy. Eh?

Not bad

But what if I'm quiet tonight?

I go far away and mind my own business?

The same result, right?

By the way, you're coming to dinner

No, but thanks for the invitation.

I'm hoping for the minimum number of people to be there

It's a family dinner.

It's time Fuck!

Less than 3 minutes. Come on. you know how punctual he is

Leave them here. You can't handle it now. Move!

- You're brushing your teeth? - I know!

Move! Quick!

Hi, love, how are you?

Very good. And you?

Couldn't be better. I'll see you soon.

I can't wait either

So you're wearing that necklace?

Oh, yes. I never took it off.

Tonight after dinner I will load up the car and get to your place.

You went to the Gay Pride yesterday, right?

Sure. My dad went as well!

- Your father? - Mm-hmm

It can't be! Who could have thought it?

You know me. When I put my mind to something...

I'm so proud of you.

Wait

You didn't tell your father about our relationship just to make me happy, right?

Well if I did, I can't think of a better reason.

I have to go now, but first I have two things to say

The first thing, I miss you

Me too, Edu.

- And the second thing is... - Yes?

Yes

You're going to need to add a seat for tonight's dinner

I'm coming to Rome to see your family!

I'll land at 17:00 in Ciampino airport

Calm down.

Love, I'm sorry, I lost the connection just now. You were saying?

Nothing. I want your dad to do me a favor

I want him to tell me about his first gay pride experience.

- Okay. I'll see you at the airport. - See you there. Bye, my love

Bye, love.

Is your invitation still valid?

No. You know what?

You're the one who can't wait to offer the lamb as a sacrifice

You treat it like manna from heaven not some kind of harsh test

And you see me as an insensitive asshole.

I never used the word "asshole"

But you have that idea

The problem is that you can't manipulate people into acting like you!

Manipulate people? I have never manipulated anyone.

And what do you mean by "manipulate"? Tell me?

Hello, son. Go and say goodbye to your grandma.

Can you divorce before dinner to end all these pathetic scenes?

- Do you need anything for breakfast? - No, thank you

- Grandma's awake? - Yes, she got up quite early this morning.

She's been to the Porta Portese again?

The same story again.

Have you brainwashed my mother?

What's your problem with her looking for a job?

She's 83 years old! Who will give her a job?

I know, but what can I do?

Your son is 20 and he had to find a job in Spain!

- Grandma - Mattia! Hello, my darling.

Did you find anything?

No It says too many youths are unemployed

It would be more tiring for us

No! Wait, disinfect first

Here you are. Rub well

Know what you're doing right now? You're killing at least 3 million bacteria!

- A massacre, Grandma! - A massacre

- You know that I may have found something - What?

A waitress at the bar. Serving pizza by slice. What do you think?

You know that you don't need to work, right?

I know, but I feel I'd like to hear this once "This job is yours"

Are those two finished? Well, get out!

I think so now

Wait.

Dad.

You see, son. Women

They want cocks

And to get punched

Love and fear.

That's how you treat women. Trust your father

I've never once been mistaken on this.

I need your mom. But don't tell her

Promise. You promise!

Bravo.

He had big plans for me. I almost feel sorry for him.

Yes

I'm sorry

I really didn't mean to behave like that.

Especially not today, Matti

Relax, mom. We're getting used to it

Aurora, do you need a hand for dinner?

Speaking of the dinner I don't know if

I don't know if that's...

We all know that you're going to cook

Please don't start this. I'm already a bit nervous!

Excuse me, Mrs. Iolanda. That's alright

- Samantha! Grandma's little precious - Ciao

Oh my God! What happened to you?

This little monster vomited his breakfast on me.

Oh no no. "Monster". What did I tell you?

Have you been to the hairdressers?

- You noticed - Of course

If you want this one, I could give him away. I have two identical ones at home

- And another (boy) on the way. - A girl. Mama!

This has to be a girl. Bernardo said he could feel it!

Ouch...

Excuse me, the car parked in the second row is yours right?

Please. Not this again. You know that's mine

I'm sorry, but this time I have to write you a ticket

I got it. What are you going to wash?

Don't you have a wife? No, please don't answer that!

Here is my second uniform

May I recommend you wash and bring them to my office today, okay?

- Anything else? - No.

That's more like it. See They'll be at your office tonight

Half of Italians evade tax. That sucks. What country are we living in?

It's good to have people like you as models of morality.

Sorry, telephone.

Hello

- Hi. Am I interrupting anything? - No, don't think so

I was just speaking to the violent arm of the law

- Sorry to hear that. - What's your deal?

- Eduard will be in Rome tonight. - Why did you invite him?

I didn't. He made a snap decision!

- You know the Spanish and their drama! - Take it easy.

Let me figure this out. I'm such a busy bee

- I'll see you later - Thank you so much, you are a true friend.

- Oh dear! - What are you doing?

- Nothing. - Let's go then.

- Shhh. He's sleeping. - Give me something to wear

- I can't go to work like this. - Right away.

You're good, right?

Here

Here you go.

- Pricey! What's the fabric? - Cashmere.

Mom, are you kidding?

If it were not acrylic, Samantha would have blisters.

Mattia, watch it!

If I wasn't pregnant I'd kick your ass like when we were kids

- Mom! - Stop. Too much bickering today

Dad was here

Yes. He was

Alright then. Bernardo and I have thrown some dishes this summer too.

- But it doesn't mean anything. - I'm sorry to hear that

I wanted to go on a cruise

Instead we went again to that spa in northern Roccasecca

I want the cruise and yet he likes to take baths

The ship has a spa. Why can't he go?

You've been talking about your cruise for an entire week now.

Who really listens?

How nice is your son, huh? I want to put a lid on him.

So tonight at 8

Oh, about the dinner, I dont feel much like cooking...

Don't feel like cooking? You can't do this to me!

I have three annoying kids: You make dinner. Deal?

- Why don't you take them to cinema? - To do what?

Okay. That sounds fair enough...

- I ll do it - Great

By the way, Bernard says your car's ready

So why don't you go and give it a ride?

Okay. Great, Mrs. Piston!

You know, I never understand what all these nicknames mean

- Piston... - Next time I'll explain to you

Bernardo

Berna..

Piston

Ah, what took you so long? Here, handsome, give me a hand!

The hand

So you only react to your stage name now, like Cher?

- Who? - The lady singer? The American... Cher.

- Anyway, the car's ready? - Has the piston ever disappointed you?

- Never. - Right. Come here.

Tada! Here it is. All sorted.

With this not only can you drive to Madrid. you can even make it to Barcelona!

- Barcelona is on the way to Madrid. - Oh yeah? Anyway fuck it. Come on.

- Nice! - Right? Smell it

I want to show you what I've done for you.

- What? OK - Are you ready?

See Galliard!

With this master move, who can stop you going to Spain?

- Maybe I don't deserve this. - What are you saying?

I wanted to bring this to your dinner tonight, but how can I resist?

Oh one thing, if you feel it s too late to make it. I totally understand

I'll be sure to come. Calm down. Ease up.

I am calm.

- What a great deal. - I have a dinner to make.

My son is driving to Madrid tonight.

- Bravo! What's he doing there? - I don't know. Something to do

With renewable energy. I don't remember. Mrs. Iolanda

Mrs. Iolanda?

Oh dear!

Masseuse expert wanted

Please hold everything for me. I'll be back in a minute!

No, ma'am!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Have you by any chance seen an old lady with a little body...?

- By the way, where are we? - This is Miwa Natural Day Spa

Oh

- Are you looking for Mrs. lolanda? - Yes. That's her

She's having an interview. There. An interview

Now rub well

Do you have any similar experience?

No, but Im open to an internship. All right

Then please fill out this form.

Thank you. Please.

- I think it will take her a while. - Do you want to take a look?

- If I'm not disturbing anything. - Please.

Have you never been to a spa?

No!

Behind this door is a special and magical place.

- Like Narnia, hm? - Like Narnia.

There is our Spa Suite where you and your husband could come together.

Eh No.

Oh my God, my groceries! Excuse me, it's beautiful here, but...

See. The only one missing today. Christian Novena

Have you ever been targeted by someone in high school?

He's been around me since kindergarten

A torturer who you can expect the least in high school

Especially during the school trip before our adulthood

If you're curious about anything, please ask

Professor, I think Mattia is curious about the penis size of the Ares statue

I've assigned your rooms

Zazzara with Maurucci

- Professor, what about me? - You... are with Mattia.

That asshole? Listen, were splitting the beds.

- My turn. - Truth or Dare?

- Well, truth - Have you ever made out with Christian?

- I'd rather die - That's not an answer.

She already answered the question. Keep going.

- Christian - What? They won't get confused.

I want a clarification

Ok, I'm announcing that Stefania didn't give it to me... for now.

- Tru... dare. - I'm daring you to

kiss Sandro.

- Why me? - Why Sandro?

Rules are rules.

Kiss! Kiss!

Ole!

I expected my first kiss to be totally different.

Thank you so much, Christian.

I dare you to apologize to Mattia for being an asshole all day.

Okay.

Mattia, I apologize for the times that I teased you.

Then explain.

I think you are a very special person

Because I think you're more tolerant than anyone else.

I hope you can forgive me.

Now we're drowning this faggot!

We're drowning this fag... No! No!

Oh. fuck!

Mom

Yes. No, don't put the bouillon cube in my suitcase.

It'll make all my stuff smelly.

Please don't. Okay. I'll call you later.

I love you too. I'm at college now. Ciao!

- Ciao, Cri - Mm-hmm

How are you?

Good, thank God.

I work for the assistant secretary of the undersecretary of Environmental Policies

in the Department of the Minister of the Environment.

- You? Become a shampoo girl yet? - How cute. No.

I was hired by a company specializing in renewable energy.

- Receptionist? - No.

I'm in charge of projects on the design and implementation of photovoltaic panels

in Spain.

- Are you kidding?! - No.

See, that's why you fags made me sick!

with all your lobbying, your mafia shit.

- You make me sick! - We should let go of the past.

Never touch me. you understand?! Never touch me, you fuck.

What the fuck are you looking at?!

I'm Mattia Sberla

I need a copy of my degree certificate.

- Okay, hold on. - Thank you.

- Hey, faggot! - Enough!

Hey, calm down. It's me.

Shut up. You really should shut up.

- I'm in deep shit. - You're in deep shit.

Let's recap. Your parents don't know you're gay

- No - But you said to your boyfriend

- that your mom and dad know and and give their blessings? - Yes.

In a few hours he will come here to meet them.

- Yes - You're in deep shit.

I told you.

Why did you make this whole mess?

- Me? It's all *your* fault. - What's it got to do with me?

You told me "Don't say a thing". "You'll see thing resolved in their own way".

No, no. I only said that if I had been silent

I'd run a family shop instead of being hungry all the time

Then in secret, I could start my own business.

- Maybe my parents could take it well. - Maybe

But the last three words my father told me before he disowned me were

"You sicken me". He's never been much of a talker.

How sad.

- Maybe my father won't react like this. - Then tell him.

But if parents don't want to know something

- That includes the gay issue. - Thank you

Dear, that is not a compliment.

Maybe you're right. You don't have to fold.

- Maybe I should tell. - Maybe!

Soon we'll know if a miracle happens

Miracle? Dear you don't need a miracle.

You have me.

Tell your boyfriend.

Tell him I'm going to pick him up at the airport.

- Trust me, you won't have him coming to dinner. - Thank you

You won't hurt him, right?

Calm down. I'll remember that.

- Maybe I won't return him to you. - Idiot!

- Thank you, you are true friend. - I know

Giacomo!

- You were joking, right? - Of course.

- Ciao, puppy! - Ciao.

With the unintended help from Christian

I realized that I preferred...

Let's say, the ocean to the mountain.

But I didn't know how to swim

Honey, if you keep going back and forth like that

you'll make a ditch. Then we could stride over you and enter

or make a drawbridge

- No. I'm just... looking for the bathroom. - Come in.

This place has all bathrooms you could want.

Maybe I could... wet my feet a little bit

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for.

Fierce, haughty, cruel

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert in Tiburtina. Alba Paillettes!

- Ciao! - Ciao.

- I'm Gianni. And you? - Mario.

It's okay if you don't want to tell me your real name

- Okay, my name is Giorgio. - Giorgio you're cute

Where do I click the "like" button? Is this your first time in a gay bar?

What? This location is for... gays?

Look around. You don't have to lower your voice here.

I only came in to drink a nice whiskey. And so...

Ah!

Where are you from?

- Er.. Turino. - Oh. I lived there for 10 years.

- Really? - Which district were you in?

- Near the stadium. - Which one?

Look, Gianni, I came in because I wanted to use the bathroom

and I think I found it! - Let's go together.

Thanks Gianni!

Ciao, I'm Gianni.

Good evening. Good evening. Welcome to Muccassassina!

I'm Alba Paillettesm. and your Miss Tsunami and Miss Earthquake

- Hello, girls! - Good evening!

Jesus, so many of you

Why can't I see all these fags on Family Day?

- Okay. okay. I want to talk something a bit serious. - Okay

Please.

How to meet other gays today.

If you want to meet other sluts like yourselves

you have so many possibilities.

Only in Rome, there are more gay circles than McDonald's.

Really. There's the gay chorus, gay swimming team...

- We really should have a nice swim! - I'm in my swimming suit now

Some applause for Miss Tsunami in her swimming suit!

But instead, we become more closed up... right, girls?

- A little! - We had a few meeting points

Well, actually that's not true. Anyway, let's say that

once there was a place full of us

but it was called jail.

You!

- Me? - Yes you What's your name, boy?

- I don't remember. - You don't remember?

Then what can we call him? Let's name him.

Peter Pan. Peter Pan! A round of applause for Peter Pan!

Come on, Peter! Give him a push!

Push him! Obviously, from behind!

Peter! Peter!

Peter Pan! Peter Pan...

- So. Peter. - Listen, lady...

Lady who I am a young girl! How old do I look?

- I'm 19 Years old, boys - Yeah, that's only your leg

Then 19 times 2 is...

You're good at math.

I hope you're describing my size. Look, dear, how old are you?

- 21. - 21? What a baby!

How long have you been a showgirl? Now it's you and me on the planet

Spin a wheel, dear. Pick a song

Are you shy? Have they put the horns on you?

Horns are for men to soar

I don't know about you guys, but I feel our Peter Pan is shaking

Don't be shy. How long have you been a showgirl?

Certainly not as long as you judging by the wrinkles on your face

Our Tinker Bell has nails, and he knows how to use them.

Be careful, my fairy boots

the last one who spoke to me like that, I cut off his head.

Who was that? Marie Antoinette?

Okay okay, I drop the crown. A round of applause for Peter Pan.

She wants to talk to you.

Come in. Come in. I'm Giacomo.

You are very brave. Welcome to the club.

Since that day, I've been bestowed superpowers.

I noticed things invisible to the eye.

Except that I was not the only superhero around.

There were Superman

Cat woman

Thor

Wonder Woman

The Hulk

Batman and Robin.

The only remaining thing was to tell my parents

My timing was, as always, perfect

Let's be clear: I'm not leaving you because of her

I'm leaving because I'm tired of being here with you

You know what this means?

"Now you're the only man in the house."

Stefania used to be my only confidant

I always wondered what I've done to deserve her?

Then there comes the most important moment of my life

Like this.

Wow!

- Which team do you think he's on? - Mine

- Look, he has the gay flag... his scarf - That's the flag of peace

It's also for political consciousness!

His eyebrows are overly groomed. Please, he's gay.

Half the Roman men are doing it. That doesn't count.

In my opinion, he's my type.

- Ciao. - Ciao

- Are you okay? - More or less

My chain dropped off and I don't know how to put it back on

Okay, I'll ask Mattia to help, if you're fine with it

So you're Mattia?

- Yes. - Eduard, nice to meet you.

Me too

Okay... wait.

Okay.

It should be alright now

Great. Thank you very much.

- I'll go. See you later. - Okay

You're wasting your chance

But if you think I'll behave like a puppy

by calling me and I'll come, than you're dead wrong.

I mean it.

- Hey. are you coming? - Coming!

You're a little nervous

This will restore your smile

- It's so beautiful, you should... - You are beautiful,

I also have something for you. What?

Wait for me

I wore this when we first met, so...

That's it. I became a man.

I want to tell the whole world, even the one that I left behind.

- Mattia - Dad

What are you doing here?

Nothing. I'm dropping by.

At 8:30?

- Are you coming to see Mom? - No.

- I wanted to talk to you. - Me?

Care for a walk?

Let's walk then.

Dad, what's wrong?

I was thinking, just because me and your mom plan to separate

It doesn't mean we stop talking anymore, right?

No, are you kidding? But it would still be our first time talking right?

You're exaggerating!

It's true that I've been a bit absent lately

But only lately.

Remember when you were little? Every Sunday I took you to the park.

Dad, that wasn't a park.

It was rugby field, and you coach there.

Field, park... it's all grass.

You could say that.

By the way, where did you come back from?

From a friend's house. I slept there.

Oh yeah? Who is it? What is the name?

Stefania. You don't know her.

Alright. Then describe her to me. How is she?

She's... average height. Medium,

- dark eyes. - Dark.

And her hair... is normal.

I'm sorry, Mattia.

But why don't you ever tell me all this?

You think I can't understand? You think I'm dumb?

Dad

You should't be ashamed. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Relax

Dad, about...

I know. I know. Being a virgin at your age is not normal.

Dad wants to know

A good professional can break some ice.

Dad, we don't need to break anything. I'm not a virgin anymore. Okay?

I just had sex, and if I have to tell you

it was a most wonderful experience I've ever had in my life...

Bravo! That's my son!

Good! I want to know the details

- You want to know the details? - Come on.

- Okay. I'll tell you the details. - Hey, faggot!

See those fags? You cant tell them apart now.

They were once dancers

with costumes and crafts

Now they're employees, workers, football players

Only rugby still holds some morality.

What did we say just now?

Nothing, Dad.

You never talk. You never talk!

- Look, Dad, I should... - Go, go.

Ciao

Mattia

It wasn't my only attempt.

The Gay Pride, which still is unfortunately labeled by many as a "carnival"

actually has its noble origins.

In 1969, following the death of the actress Judy Garland

A group of homosexuals gathered at a New York bar called Stonewall

To mourn the death of their ultimate icon.

Mattia, why don't you tell her right now...

- Mom - Yes

I'm gay.

Yes dear.

I'm (they're) gay.

Poor people, look at them.

Thus begins the first gay pride parade.

- Sammy... - Yes

- Can I tell you something personal - No.

That's right. Not that I haven't tried.

But back to today.

Matti!

Ste, I'm almost there.

Done with graduation? Excited?

- Trembling. I nearly fought with Christian - Oh

Someone should stick him in the ass, suddenly, bam!

No, it has to be harder

Maybe if you dated him during that trip

he and I could have become very good friends.

Who says I haven't dated him?

Nasty slut!

Look at me

You're awfully quiet, given the circumstances. What's up?

A guardian angel will save my life

What?

Giacomo is going to the airport to pick up Edu tonight.

He'll create a diversion and solve the dinner problem

A smart idea.

Tell me he's not that Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Yes, he's also her. Anyway

I don't get why you two can't get along?

Hmm. Where do I start?

- Arrogant. Presumptuous... - Ste.. Stefania..

a misogynist, unbearable.

Wait!

Speak of the devil

Priscilla?

Priscilla yeah, but the car broke down!

Are you serious?!

I'm not laughing. No.

- Stefania will come and get you. - That bitch?

Okay. Ciao.

Thank you... please!

Ste, you saved my life!

However, is it worth all these troubles?

What do you mean?

Maybe you're overreacting to this whole coming out thing

You didn't kill someone

I assure you...

For my parents it would be much easier if you help me bury the body

than to have them accept the fact their only son...

is gay.

- You still lower your voice. - Ste, I didn't tell them

not because I feel ashamed. Okay?

It's because they can't understand. They're not ready

- That's all. - That's all.

I'm not ashamed of being gay!

I not only accept it, but I enjoy it.

I like men.

I like the idea of falling in love with a man

Why not? One day I could even have a child with him.

Now that I've broken the ice with that lady

everything is going to be easier, right Miss...

Ste

Thank you.

I know you've done a lot for me.

People do crazy things out of love.

- Are you ready? - For what?

I don't want you to wait any longer. I'm taking you to meet my family

Really? Couldn't you have told me that earlier?

- At least l could dress better. - You look gorgeous. Relax.

See, the shirt is a particularly good fit

- Okay - Yes

- Look. That's my mom. - No kidding.

- Pretty, right? - Introduce me

No, no. love, she's doing her own thing.

You know, Italian women and their groceries...

- I'll introduce you later - Alright

I already asked you to go and get it!

- Why are you still here? - Don't scream.

- I'll scream whatever I want! - If I can't fix this motor

- what can we eat? - What's wrong with this bread? It's very good bread.

I'd like you to eat it!

- You want proof of my love? I'll eat it. - You always joke, don't you?

Ciao, I have my curriculum vitae for you.

Here you are. Rub it and the folder

My pleasure.

That's it.

What's it? I don't understand.

You didn't introduce me to your family. You just showed me your family.

- They're the same, right? - No. Not the same

Who the hell is he? Giovanni, you carry on.

Hey, young man! Where are you going? Can't you see this is a playing field?

Where did you get this t-Shirt? You stole it from our locker room!

"Stolen"? I'm sorry. I've never met that word.

- Mind your tone. - What tone?

- Where did you come from? - Dad, what happened?

- Mattia! - Matt, what's up?

- You know this thief? - Again? "Thief"? Hey!

- Are you crazy? - How dare you!

Okay, who is this?

I have no idea, Dad.

Give me that shirt.

How crazy. I don't understand.

There, now you can go. Don't let me see you around!

Don't worry. You have my word.

How crazy. Where did he come from?

Who is he? A bench warmer?

What?

And why are you here?

I dropped by to see you, okay?

Thank you. The boys need me. Maybe we'll meet later.

Thank you.

Edu! Edu, wait!

Edu! Wait for me!

Edu, I beg your pardon. Please

I don't know what happened to me. I'm sorry.

What happened is that you were not ready, that you were ashamed.

You didn't make me ashamed at all!

That's worse, Mattia. Because you are ashamed of yourself.

It's a shame, because you're such a great guy.

You just don't realize that.

Here you go.

Is there no space to put this in?

Do you think there's no toilets in Spain?

I know they have them

but you never know what the paper is made of. Take some

- Okay. I'll put it here - I'm glad I could help.

- Thank you, Mama. - For what?

- You make me feel that I'm once again useful. - Mama!

You know what I mean.

Honey, can I ask you a little embarrassing question?

Was I a good mother to you?

Mom, what a question! Of course you are! Why do you ask...?

You're not running away from me, right? No!

Mom, how can you think like that?

I don't know.

You've been a very good mother.

Got it.

In fact, I haven't been a very good son

What are you saying? You're perfect.

Do you know this morning when I was watching a TV program

There was a psychologist who said

that some mothers never know what their children are up to.

Some mothers never know where they are, what they think.

But I, instead, always know what you think.

- Mom - Huh

- Are you okay? - Good. Just a little nervous.

Because of Dad.

I think the last time when he was angry

he became a little softened

You're not thinking about having him back, right?

No, for heaven's sake! But what do you say?

- You are as romantic as always. - Maybe.

But you see, I think it's very true to accept ourselves as who we are.

No.

Anyway, I'm going to cook now.

Let's hope everything goes well tonight. I hate surprises!

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

This is Radio 101, I'm Marco Balestri

This is a live show. It's all "very personal".

- We have Benedetta on line, hello? - Ciao, Marco

Hello. I heard that you have a very personal story for us. What is it?

My friend Luca has a friend who is a total jerk.

Oh la-la! Sounds like you are angry. Why?

I don't want to put Luca in a difficult situation

but I refuse to see that presumptuous pig.

So you don't like this friend?

Benedetta Hello? Hello Benedetta?

She hung up.

That's him!

Just missed him. Sorry.

Now what?

I have an idea. Come, with me.

Go past him! Go past him! Careful, don't turn around, go right ahead!

- Don't touch me! Don't touch me! - Hands on the wheel

- Go past him! Yes, go past him! - I am going!

- Shut up and drive. - Why are you naked?

God, yes I'm naked. Shut up, Help!

- Where are we going? - Shhh!

What's up?

That.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Licence and registration, please. - What have I done?

Ah, that's a good start. License and registration.

Will it take a long time?

You're impatient now. I don't get it

According to the protocol approved by the City Council lately

I have a duty to monitor all vehicles, their documents and holders

I have the authority to see if you've paid all the tolls.

I don't know... have you paid?

762 00:49:12,110 -.-> 00:49:13,229 More or less

Handsome, the process will take at least a couple of hours

You may call another taxi.

How do I call another taxi?

- Don't worry. I'll do it for you. - No! Sorry. That's forbidden.

- Why not? - Why not?

Why not? Why not...

Where the hell are you?

These women, you can't trust them with the simplest things.

Anyway, is this yours? No, yours?

I'm a little confused today. And it's not because of my hangover...

- What did you do in Rome yesterday? - How should I remember?

- Eduard! - Hi, Stefania!

What a coincidence! How are you?

Fine. Fine. I'm being held up by this officer. Other than that, I'm fine

How dare you? Do you need handcuffs?

However, Miss, you're driving in the wrong direction.

You should turn around. What are you saying?

- Come, I'll drive you. - Thank you

Are you still going to need to see my license now?

Are you hitting on me? You, take me home.

I may exempt your license fees for 2 years.

Let's go!

- Had a nice trip? - Fine, thanks.

I have to go home first. I hope it's not a problem.

No, not at all. In fact, I kind of need to wash up before tonight.

Anything else?

- What? - If you need anything, you could always ask.

No. thanks. I'm good and also very excited.

I'm going to meet Mattia's parents tonight.

- That's all I'm hearing today. - Ah

I have to tell you something very important.

I don't want you to think that I'm telling you guys because I'm about to leave.

"Package received. Keeping for how long remains uncertain. Wait for update"

Welcome. This is my home.

Wow, it's very beautiful.

- Want something to drink? - What do you have?

White wine

That's very good.

Do you mind if I use your bathroom?

- No. Go ahead. - That way

- Yes - Okay.

Here

It's a very special wine.

You will feel it.

It has floral smell, a little dry but very sweet Hope you'll like it. Here

- It sucks. - No, it's okay.

Feels like... very novel. Novel.

That's what Mattia always says.

To Mattia!

To Mattia! Mattia! Bottoms up

All of it

OK...

You know the parents of Mattia, right? What are they like?

She's compliant, he's authoritarian. Typical Italians

They don't seem typical to me

Or how can they accept their son's homosexuality, right?

Yes, that's true.

I used to push him to tell them.

He was terrified. Poor man.

When I got back to Madrid, I received a letter from his Mom.

In which she welcomed me to her family. She was so lovely.

Really? I also talked to her on the phone.

What?

I called her to thank her for the letter.

Explain.

Look, it's him.

Like I told you.

What do I look like? A bourgeois woman.

"Hello Ciao". More constipated. "Ciao".

- No. - Genovese. I should speak that

- Where's the Genovese Mamma Mia? No! - No, you're a normal lady

You're dull!

Hello, ma'am. I'm Eduard.

I called you before to thank you for the letter.

It's alright. The most important thing is you and Mattia love each other

The rest doesn't matter.

You have me and my husband's blessings

But I beg you not to hurt my baby.

I would never do that, ma'am.

I know. Mattia told me that you are so wonderful. Very, very wonderful.

I'm so sorry, honey, but I have to go. I have riding lessons.

- The stallions are waiting for me. - Alright, ma'am

Hope to see you soon. Send my regards to your husband.

No problem. Goodbye. Goodbye.

- Was I good? - Did he believe you?

- I think so. - Okay.

it's finally done.

Oh.

Is everything ready for you to escape from Alcatraz?

You think it's too much? A little bit.

Typical of me.

To find the courage to leave, I have to go to another country

You don't have four children and you're not married to the mechanic fixing motors

- By the way, how's Piston? - Good, he's in the workshop.

- But he'll come to dinner? - I bet he'll come without taking a shower.

Damn it.

Okay. Lets talk about some serious things. Mom's suicidal so let's forget about her.

But how is Dad taking the fact that you're leaving this family?

You think I don't know?

I gave him so many disappointments that he finally settled with the fact.

Mattia! You re not 15 anymore! Who cares about them?

You're too determined to be perfect!

- Me? - Yes!

- When? - Always, little brother.

Do you know what it was like to live under that shadow?

"Look, Mattia is so clever"

"Look Mattia's grades are perfect"

"Look. Mattia didn't get knocked up" All suck!

See, now I hate myself

But I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you

For all your anxiety. Probably because you were the only son

- Are you making fun of me? - Yes

- I've always envied you. - Me?

- Yes - What are you talking about?

You always do what you want

You never look before or behind, no hesitation

I mean, you always stay you.

Compulsive, but consistent.

- Oh my God, is that Dad? - It's Bernard. What are you shaking for?!

I'm sorry. Breathe.

Are you sure that Mattia told you he would come to pick me up?

Very positive.

Wait

Okay. Show time.

What are you doing?

Thank you. Mattia, I want to tell you something.

I admit it! I'm putting some pressure on

but there's a square in a small town near Madrid

They'd like to have you stay there, since you're my son, of course

Thanks, Dad, but I already have my plans

I don't think I can even find time to wash my clothes

Maybe I should come next week

to give you a hand. Help you with some laundry

Mom, there are washing machines in Spain. Thanks anyway.

You should have her there. You are not very practical

When I was your age...

You couldn't even fry an egg.

- What are you talking about. Mom? Stop it. - What should I say?

You left for your first excursion, and in two days you ran back home

because Port Cesenatico terrified you!

What are you saying? Old people always talk nonsense...

Now you see the truth behind Dad's trip to Cesenatico

Idiot! What are you laughing at? Moron.

Sorry. Ease up.

I don't want her to get agitated and give birth here

You're having your fourth son and you don't know it usually takes 9 months?

We like to to prepared, Dad. Prepared.

Ste.

Why no signal?

What? Don't answer the door

It's Gisella.

I have to return her pan she lent me to cook the dinner.

Please be quick!

Samantha, have you thought about names for this baby?

- If it's a boy... - Oh no!

Another boy? No!

Don't we have enough?

Do you think I'm eBay?

That you can place orders and have whatever you want?

Please. Everyone knows that the baby's gender depends on the father

- Not the woman. - How do you know?

One day he wanted to watch Rai1 and I wanted to watch "SuperQuark"

So you means it's my fault?

Of course. It's you who believes in that male angel Cupid, not me

Please be kind to my daughter, okay?

You don't want to count cocks in this family!

- Rodolfo! - What? I'm just kidding.

Can't someone tell jokes in his own house?

Your house!

This has not been your house for three years.

Even before that hooker gave you a cheeky haircut

this was not your house. It was our house!

Brava!

Have you gone completely crazy?!

I've never been this sane

but I was mad

when I tried to put up with you playing rugby one match after another

when I thought I had you figured out

when you behaved like an asshole.

I used to be a raving lunatic.

But now I'm...

cured

I don't know her anymore.

And I don't understand why we have to spoil our last supper with Mattia

Don't mind me.

Rodolfo, we're all glad you're here

But if you are unable to behave like you should

you can also get up and leave.

Are you done?

So that we can continue eating quietly?

You're right. Apologize to everyone and we'll leave this behind.

How over-dramatic.

Rodolfo, apologize now or get out of my house!

Mama, what's this?

Apologize! Or I'll send you back to Cesenatico!

I'm sorry.

- We didn't hear you. - No.

Sorry to all people.

Hey. I recommend... I didn't eat anything for lunch

I want to eat my lunch

I have to tell you something.

I have to tell you something.

I have to tell you something.

Sorry, dear, we didn't hear you

Okay. So...

This is a little embarrassing

not because there's anything wrong with it, please, absolutely.

But it's one of those things that... to say it or not to say it"

I mean, you never know, after all. if one really wants to say it or not.

However I'm going to say it. I mean, not that I don't want you to know.

In fact I'm telling you because...

I'm sorry.

"The package is detained. Eat quietly"

No, I wanted to say that...

I'll miss you

Give him a round of applause.

- Shall we? - These potatoes are delicious.

Mom, don't lecture me on calories, especially when I'm eating.

What drink do you want?

It helps with diabetes, the wine

I read it in a sports newspaper

It's true. So. You're full of shit.

You didn't say that when we fought before.

- She always forced people to do things... - I know

She can do what she wants. I don't have to follow

Because she's your mother, when she does one thing

you always do another That's not true.

I am gay

I'm also ashamed.

Very

Very ashamed

Not because I'm gay

I'm ashamed...

that I wasn't brave enough to have told you in the first place

I'm ashamed...

because I was afraid

that you could reject me.

Maybe you can understand

Why that good Mattia, this time makes you disappointed.

But for all these years I've been trying so hard

not to make you disappointed

I disappointed myself

Now...

You see that, Samy

the so-called perfect Mattia

is not as perfect as he seemed to be

Mom

Dad

Bad news

From the perspective of grandchildren

It's nearly impossible now

God bless you, Bernard, because you have both marriage and sons

Do you know what I'm feeling inside now?

I feel proud

I made it.

I don't know you are thinking?

But I think you should...

be happy for me.

I know it's shocking, but could someone say something. Thank you

Who'll start?

I'll go first

Matt, none of us knew this...

Yes we knew.

Yes.

- Yes. - Of course

"Of course" Why?

Don't you remember the day at the rugby field?

That t-Shirt thief?

Edu! Edu!

So you saw me and him...?

Okay.

We knew.

But we didn't know how to deal with it.

We should give him a hand. Talk to him directly.

Mattia, you're... that, to us, is okay. What do you say?

He's a man now. He can handle these things by himself

How typical.

Do men always avoid problems like you?

No. Guess what?

You're the one who can't wait to sacrifice the lamb

Ah. That's it.

And you!

"Who can stop you going to Spain?"

You kept it vague on purpose.

I believe he told you already

Can I say something now? It took you a lot of courage tonight.

But the next time when you have something to say

don't make us wait for another 25 years. Thank you. I promise

I propose a toast to Mattia.

To Mattia!

Must I stand up? Of course. Stand up

So you all know that t-shirt thief, his name is Eduard

Yes

And I'm going to live with him in Spain

Alright

Let's forget it.

I am only sorry that I didn't meet him.

Grandma... That's better honestly

Dad! The next time when you come to visit us

I'll let you know.

I don't know if I can because I don't know...

when they'll let me have holidays! No!

Dear Ms. Iolanda. We hereby inform you

that you successfully passed our assessment. blah, blah, blah...

Please contact us as soon as possible.

From our human resources department. Blah, blah, blah... Yours, etc.

Congratulations Grandma Iolanda! Congratulations. Grandma!

To grandmother! Thank you. To me

Wait a minute. I'm sorry/everyone

But since we are in the mood for celebrations...

Dear, if this time you make me a girl, then this is yours!

What is it?

Open it up, open it!

Oh dear...

My cruise with spa. Full of spas.

You're such a bastard!

Careful, what if it's boy.

No, love, not a boy. It's a girl

Because this time I swear here in front of my family

I put all my thoughts in it But what about the story of Cupid?

Cupid can kiss my ass. Give me a kiss.

Stop drinking, you have diabetes. You want to die here tonight?

Shut up for once

I was ready to explain to them

Not all gays want to change gender, know how to match colors

and listen to Lady Gaga.

But my moment was gone

Ste.

I don't want you to go. Don't, Ste.

It stupid that you're going.

You're stupid to go

You're stupid to go

Stupid, stupid. You're stupid to go

I might have worked it out

You want to know what I told my parents

Fuck you. Me too, darling, very much.

Have a good trip.

Have a good trip. Have a good trip.

Hey! Hey!

Hola. What's up?

What time is it?

Is everything all right?

Couldn't be better. We're going back to Spain.

But what about dinner?

You missed it.

Relax, we'll make it up in Madrid.

Sleep, dear, have some rest. I'll wake you up later.

Okay.

A few moments ago I made a decision that will change my life.

I didn't know if it would be a success or a disaster.

The only thing I know, is that both outcomes

are much better than the situation I had put myself in before

Look who it is! Hello.

Who do we have here?

So you get out of your ghetto?

What, gas costs too much?

Alba, don't mess with me.

From my knowledge of you

you probably deserve it. Look where it got you. Oh my!

What's wrong? I'm kidding, idiot

Come on, I had a bad day already

No more jokes. Thank you. Drive

Diretto da IVAN SI VESTRINI

A mother knows certain things

Sometimes it's not a bad thing

Oh, oh, how nice! Oh! Oh!

Young man, hands only, okay

Don't worry. I'm gay.

Really

Then I should introduce my son to you

He's so handsome, Mattia

He's with a guy now, but I don't know if he's right for him

He's a foreigner.

What do they say? Husbands and oxen should be from your own country.

Oh, yes, yes, yes

Mom! Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!

Have you finished?

Not you, dear, you can go on. You may continue...

Bernard, can we go now? The cruise won't wait for us.

Calm down. It leaves in 4 hours, not 2 minutes.

I know. It's just that you have to drive very slowly

because I feel sick again.

- What? - Nausea.

- No! - No what...

No! Another one? You said she was the last.

Now it's my fault? Do you think I did this alone?

It's your fault! You didn't count the days right

Dear, with these four children, you still trust my calculations?

Come on. I feel it's time for another girl.

- And I feel another mortgage. - Do you want another sister?

See? They want it too.

Of course they want it.

Let's get on the cruise, love.

Lady, come and have a try. Put your hands like this. Here, good.

Now rub well.

After 35 years, I'm finally beginning my retirement.

Here, baby, see? The brush should be used like an artist.

Look how beautiful you are, finally a woman.

Look at those eyes you have! Put them to good use

You think?

Do you know that you're really pretty?

We're good. Dear, you've got gay issues!

No!

You never made the first move to apologize

Why? What did I say?

It's not what you said. It's how you said it.

What if I don't apologize?

Back to your mother!

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