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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,452 --> 00:00:02,045 Previously on "American Princess"... 2 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,234 Are you on our honeymoon? 3 00:00:03,259 --> 00:00:06,084 Dr. Bloom said after a major emotional trauma 4 00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:07,389 to prioritize self-care. 5 00:00:07,414 --> 00:00:09,381 BRIAN: I ran into Juan Andrés, you know, 6 00:00:09,406 --> 00:00:12,045 the man that I sort of like. 7 00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,276 Oh, good God. You're obsessed. 8 00:00:14,301 --> 00:00:17,787 She was not very helpful to me today, as a friend. 9 00:00:17,812 --> 00:00:19,150 You got to go get him! 10 00:00:19,509 --> 00:00:20,509 - Yes. - Yes. 11 00:00:20,534 --> 00:00:22,850 I'd like to be your friend. 12 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,616 I have enough friends. 13 00:00:24,659 --> 00:00:27,140 ♪♪ 14 00:00:27,802 --> 00:00:28,818 MORGAN: We're not here to judge. 15 00:00:28,843 --> 00:00:29,944 I mean, with everything you went through, 16 00:00:29,969 --> 00:00:31,108 it makes sense that you would run off 17 00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,913 and do something... different. 18 00:00:32,938 --> 00:00:35,897 And we're also here to check that you aren't totally mentally ill. 19 00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:40,428 Next up is the faire's own dirty pub wench, 20 00:00:40,453 --> 00:00:42,772 Ophelia Feelsgood! 21 00:00:42,797 --> 00:00:44,350 I don't even know who you are right now. 22 00:00:44,592 --> 00:00:46,499 God, what the hell am I gonna tell your mother? 23 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:47,525 Did she send you here? 24 00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:49,749 I love you, Amanda. I do. 25 00:00:49,774 --> 00:00:52,600 But this? I can't. 26 00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,888 AMANDA: Mom, I know what you did. 27 00:00:54,913 --> 00:00:57,311 ERIN: Amanda, it's Erin. Mom OD'ed. 28 00:00:57,336 --> 00:00:58,598 Get your ass home. 29 00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:03,702 ERIN: Here. This'll perk her up. 30 00:01:04,226 --> 00:01:05,836 Ugh. Why not? 31 00:01:08,751 --> 00:01:10,311 While you've been enjoying your breakdown, 32 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,730 I've been here, vacuuming up vomit. 33 00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:14,764 - She puked? - Of course she puked. 34 00:01:14,789 --> 00:01:16,382 If you're faking an overdose, you commit. 35 00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:18,583 Two fingers down the throat... Like she taught us. 36 00:01:18,608 --> 00:01:20,803 She chased three Zolpies down with a bottle of Pinot 37 00:01:20,828 --> 00:01:22,460 and had Rebecca call Dr. Schwartzman. 38 00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,186 REBECCA: Calling Dr. Schwartzman. 39 00:01:24,211 --> 00:01:26,085 BOTH: Rebecca, cancel call. 40 00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:27,194 Call canceled. 41 00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:28,872 Okay, I'm not having a breakdown. 42 00:01:28,897 --> 00:01:31,374 It's a new adventure. A bend in my road. 43 00:01:31,399 --> 00:01:32,608 And Mom seems fine. 44 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,866 Sure, she's fine. The vacuum is ruined. 45 00:01:34,891 --> 00:01:35,926 So buy another vacuum. 46 00:01:35,951 --> 00:01:37,765 - Easy for you to say. - It is. 47 00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,915 Rebecca, buy a wet-dry vacuum. 48 00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:43,001 - Purchasing a wet-dry vacuum. - Voilà! 49 00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:46,682 Only the latest crisis I've had to handle. By myself. 50 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,587 All alone. With no help. 51 00:01:48,612 --> 00:01:49,767 Like an orphan. 52 00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:52,665 I'm not apologizing for looking after myself. 53 00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,186 I'm entitled to some distance. 54 00:01:55,211 --> 00:01:57,148 [SCOFFS] Distance? From your mother? 55 00:01:57,173 --> 00:01:58,562 Have they sucked all the Jew out of you 56 00:01:58,587 --> 00:02:00,468 up there in fake England-land? 57 00:02:00,493 --> 00:02:03,429 That's not fair. I still have night terrors about final exams. 58 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:04,765 Asians have those, too. 59 00:02:05,989 --> 00:02:07,226 [SIGHS] 60 00:02:07,763 --> 00:02:10,046 We shouldn't have to live our lives to make her happy. 61 00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:11,687 How about making me happy, huh? 62 00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:13,828 I've got parent-teacher conferences tomorrow, 63 00:02:13,853 --> 00:02:15,429 and they no longer let nannies cover 64 00:02:15,454 --> 00:02:17,125 and I can't send Joel because he never finds out 65 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:18,539 which kids are worse than ours. 66 00:02:18,665 --> 00:02:20,476 This is real life, Amanda. 67 00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:21,921 I need your help. 68 00:02:22,164 --> 00:02:24,750 We pinky-promised. Us against her, forever. 69 00:02:24,775 --> 00:02:26,476 Yeah, when I was 8 and still thought 70 00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:28,372 that she was under a spell from an evil witch. 71 00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:29,963 You did do a deep dive into the dark arts 72 00:02:29,988 --> 00:02:31,375 looking for a reversal. 73 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,109 [CHUCKLES] Do you remember that, uh, purple cape 74 00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:35,445 - you wore everywhere? - Oh, yeah. 75 00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:36,471 [LAUGHS] 76 00:02:36,496 --> 00:02:38,007 [SNORTS] 77 00:02:38,915 --> 00:02:41,831 [SIGHS] Okay, fine, I'll stay until tomorrow night. 78 00:02:42,445 --> 00:02:44,609 Sure Camp Men-In-Tights will survive? 79 00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:46,711 - Screw you. - Screw you. 80 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,062 See? This is nice. 81 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,711 Like old times. 82 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:53,187 I miss this. 83 00:02:54,085 --> 00:02:56,437 There is a sort of familiar comfort in it. 84 00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,109 Here are some comforters for you to choose from. 85 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,593 I don't not need a new duvet. 86 00:03:03,911 --> 00:03:06,609 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 87 00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:12,617 BRIAN: ♪ Happy hysterecto-versary to you ♪ 88 00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:16,951 ♪ Happy hysterecto-versary to you ♪ 89 00:03:16,976 --> 00:03:22,672 ♪ Happy hysterecto-versary, dear Maggie ♪ 90 00:03:22,697 --> 00:03:26,429 ♪ Happy hysterecto-versary to you ♪ 91 00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:29,570 ♪ And many mooooooore! ♪ 92 00:03:29,595 --> 00:03:31,597 Oh, I knew you wouldn't forget. 93 00:03:31,622 --> 00:03:32,622 Oh! 94 00:03:32,859 --> 00:03:34,774 I feel so blessed. 95 00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:38,464 11 years cancer and child-free. 96 00:03:38,489 --> 00:03:40,183 Who could ask for anything more? 97 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:41,905 [CHUCKLES] Now make a wish. 98 00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:45,276 Oh. Oh. 99 00:03:45,337 --> 00:03:46,904 Whoo! 100 00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,659 Oh, I have quite a day planned for us. 101 00:03:49,684 --> 00:03:51,159 A small piece for me. 102 00:03:51,409 --> 00:03:52,972 Day... you say? 103 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,425 Yeah. Is there a problem? 104 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,066 No. It's just... 105 00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:59,386 Juan Andrés and I had talked about throwing pottery 106 00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:00,745 at his studio. 107 00:04:01,245 --> 00:04:03,691 Oh. How very "Ghost" of you. 108 00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:06,644 Believe it or not, I have actually been looking forward 109 00:04:06,669 --> 00:04:07,956 to getting my hands dirty. 110 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,730 Oh, please, you despise dirty. 111 00:04:10,755 --> 00:04:12,589 Which is perfect because I've booked us mani-pedis 112 00:04:12,614 --> 00:04:14,183 and side-by-side shiatsus. 113 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:17,124 I think the plural for "shiatsu" is also "shiatsu." 114 00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:20,089 It's like "moose" or "underwear." 115 00:04:20,712 --> 00:04:21,930 In or out? 116 00:04:24,429 --> 00:04:26,495 Fine, I'm in. 117 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,698 To my fallen fallopians. 118 00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:34,480 Oh! Such a wondrous moment for a mother! 119 00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:36,378 And for a daughter! For all mothers! 120 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:37,675 And all daughters! 121 00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:40,722 And the whole sisterhood of women 122 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,331 who bleed once a month and don't die. 123 00:04:43,356 --> 00:04:45,300 It isn't too much, though, is it? 124 00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:47,909 I thought you were talking about a much smaller event. 125 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,495 Like, I didn't expect an evite. 126 00:04:50,452 --> 00:04:52,245 [GROANS] 127 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,729 Whoo! What else do we need? 128 00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:56,675 We? Unh-unh. No. 129 00:04:56,700 --> 00:05:00,933 This is a celebration of the feminine awakening. 130 00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,307 No boys allowed. 131 00:05:02,332 --> 00:05:03,722 But I was on the evite. 132 00:05:04,153 --> 00:05:06,706 Maybe it's time you two got separate e-mail addresses. 133 00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:09,580 Secrets are the enemy of love, so... 134 00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:11,855 I-I think Breeze might be more comfortable 135 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,099 if it's a ladies-only deal. 136 00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,082 You get it. 137 00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:15,511 No, I don't. 138 00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:18,174 And who's the one that bought her that book about puberty? 139 00:05:18,207 --> 00:05:20,011 Me. Yeah, her father. 140 00:05:20,647 --> 00:05:22,361 It was a good book, too. 141 00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:23,980 We both learned a lot. 142 00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:27,226 Out! Your testosterone is ruining the juju. 143 00:05:27,251 --> 00:05:28,995 It's just a couple hours, sweetie. 144 00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,659 Let the women have their time. 145 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:32,472 You're making me feel marginalized. 146 00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:34,425 You'll get over it. I promise. 147 00:05:36,679 --> 00:05:39,112 Okay, the Pinterest one called for kumquat ovaries, 148 00:05:39,137 --> 00:05:41,901 but all we had were apricots. 149 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,537 Wait. Is that...? 150 00:05:43,562 --> 00:05:44,675 Yes! 151 00:05:45,259 --> 00:05:47,173 - It's a fruiterus. - [GASPS] 152 00:05:47,198 --> 00:05:49,636 Delilah, it's beautiful! 153 00:05:49,661 --> 00:05:51,487 Yeah, and I made her a virgin. 154 00:05:51,512 --> 00:05:53,581 - Accurate. - Yeah. We think. 155 00:05:53,606 --> 00:05:55,144 - We hope. - We hope. 156 00:05:55,169 --> 00:05:57,215 JOANNTHA: Oh! [LAUGHS] 157 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,324 Good morning, sunshine! 158 00:06:00,338 --> 00:06:01,948 Big plans today. 159 00:06:01,973 --> 00:06:03,496 Look at you all up and about. 160 00:06:03,521 --> 00:06:05,231 Hmm. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. 161 00:06:05,256 --> 00:06:06,301 Oh, no, no, no, no. 162 00:06:07,638 --> 00:06:09,902 I'm still in such terrible pain, 163 00:06:10,417 --> 00:06:13,535 both physically and... 164 00:06:14,095 --> 00:06:16,051 [SIGHS] ... emotionally. 165 00:06:16,978 --> 00:06:19,324 But we're talking about you. 166 00:06:19,794 --> 00:06:23,285 Oh. Your friends really want to see you. 167 00:06:23,318 --> 00:06:25,293 Yeah, well, I didn't tell anyone I was here. 168 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,332 - I did. - Wh... 169 00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:28,363 - You're welcome. - [GROANS] Mom! 170 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,254 Now, we're having a big dinner. 171 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,535 - No. - No backing out. 172 00:06:32,945 --> 00:06:35,324 You're getting quite a reputation as a canceler. 173 00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:37,046 I really just don't want... 174 00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:40,827 [SIGHS] 175 00:06:40,852 --> 00:06:42,746 Dinner is fine. Thank you. 176 00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:45,488 Well, look at you, 177 00:06:45,513 --> 00:06:49,213 with your groovy, hippie deep breaths. 178 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,004 If you really want to thank me, 179 00:06:52,139 --> 00:06:54,880 get Mommy a flat white from that place on 84th. 180 00:06:55,142 --> 00:06:56,230 You know the one. 181 00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:57,809 The young man who... 182 00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:01,535 flirts with me via coffee foam. 183 00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,074 You mean he made a heart in it? 184 00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:05,535 Yes! 185 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,809 Oh, poor boy. 186 00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,449 He must have worked so hard on that 187 00:07:09,474 --> 00:07:10,736 to get my attention. 188 00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:12,387 But I would never. 189 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,051 He's got a tattoo of an avocado. 190 00:07:15,428 --> 00:07:17,648 Then it's probably best you spurn his affections. 191 00:07:17,673 --> 00:07:19,535 So many calories. 192 00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:29,003 What's something funny to say with this picture? 193 00:07:29,728 --> 00:07:30,816 Huh? 194 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,191 Breeze got her period. 195 00:07:32,354 --> 00:07:33,956 That doesn't really go with the photo. 196 00:07:33,981 --> 00:07:35,081 Menarche. 197 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,808 What?! She's 13, man. Men are not key. 198 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,227 Menarche is the first menstrual cycle. 199 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,066 Shut up with your fancy words. 200 00:07:42,091 --> 00:07:43,355 I'm freaking out. 201 00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:46,019 Congratulations? Or sorry? 202 00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:47,683 I don't really know what to say. 203 00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:50,292 [EXHALES] Yeah, me, neither. It's weird. 204 00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:52,706 Lulu and Delilah are throwing Breeze a party. 205 00:07:52,731 --> 00:07:55,050 They get a party for that? Like, with gifts? 206 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,050 - Yeah. - What should we get Breeze? 207 00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:59,066 Nothing. We're not invited. 208 00:07:59,805 --> 00:08:01,878 Yeah, they said it's a "woman thing." 209 00:08:01,903 --> 00:08:04,644 - Ahh. - Everything's a woman thing now. 210 00:08:04,669 --> 00:08:07,612 I think menstruation has always been a woman thing. 211 00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,421 But we could do, like, a man thing. 212 00:08:09,446 --> 00:08:10,882 You know, we could use a day. 213 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,909 Yes! Let's do some man things, huh? 214 00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:15,472 - Strip clubs? - Yes! No. No. 215 00:08:15,497 --> 00:08:17,253 Nah, it doesn't feel right looking at boobs 216 00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:19,886 when Breeze is just getting her boobs. 217 00:08:20,773 --> 00:08:24,003 I don't even want to say... "boobs." 218 00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:25,362 Okay, well, we could drink beers, 219 00:08:25,387 --> 00:08:28,259 watch sports, read Civil War novels. 220 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,612 - Could we shoot things? - Yeah! 221 00:08:29,637 --> 00:08:31,222 - No! - Yeah. 222 00:08:31,247 --> 00:08:32,847 [SING-SONG] We're gonna shoot things. 223 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,994 You'll never have to figure out what a "Mowana" is. 224 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,205 [LAUGHS] 225 00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:44,650 Look! I can laugh uproariously and not wet myself! 226 00:08:45,218 --> 00:08:47,003 You can die the way you want... 227 00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:48,658 By jumping off a cruise ship. 228 00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:52,611 When I wake up at 3:00 a.m., it's because I vomited. 229 00:08:53,164 --> 00:08:55,416 Oh, looks like the real party's over here. 230 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,398 Um, we're just listing reasons 231 00:08:59,423 --> 00:09:01,627 why it's good to not have children. 232 00:09:01,652 --> 00:09:02,955 Because I have no uterus. 233 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:04,285 And neither do I! 234 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,007 Oh. Can I play? 235 00:09:06,032 --> 00:09:07,244 - No. - Sure! 236 00:09:08,306 --> 00:09:09,568 Uh... 237 00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:10,898 Maybe next time then. 238 00:09:12,694 --> 00:09:14,080 You ready to throw? 239 00:09:14,105 --> 00:09:15,136 Yes, we're just about... 240 00:09:15,161 --> 00:09:16,573 - finished up here. - No, we still have things to do. 241 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,144 Today is the 11th anniversary of my hysterectomy. 242 00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:21,442 - Wow. I'm so... - So happy for her. 243 00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:23,262 So... Yeah, so happy for you. 244 00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:24,462 Thank you. 245 00:09:27,053 --> 00:09:28,239 Do you want some cake? 246 00:09:28,264 --> 00:09:29,887 I have barely touched mine. 247 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,169 Please, have some cake. 248 00:09:34,193 --> 00:09:35,262 Thank you. 249 00:09:40,726 --> 00:09:42,639 - So, maybe we should... - Light a symbolic candle 250 00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:43,905 for each of the babies I never had? 251 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:44,968 Marvelous. 252 00:09:45,253 --> 00:09:48,413 I had a very sexual phase about five years ago, 253 00:09:48,438 --> 00:09:50,444 so buckle up. [LAUGHS] 254 00:09:50,469 --> 00:09:52,093 All righty. 255 00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:53,218 Um, could you? 256 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:54,810 I don't want to ruin my nails. 257 00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:56,022 Sure. 258 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:01,014 For Yannick, son of the Swiss street artist. 259 00:10:01,459 --> 00:10:03,984 You, too, would have had intimacy issues 260 00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:05,866 about giving out your phone number. 261 00:10:06,568 --> 00:10:10,421 Oh. To Jamila, daughter of the rug merchant 262 00:10:10,446 --> 00:10:13,139 who sold me my favorite afghan. 263 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,648 For Tyler Jr., son of the aspiring foot model 264 00:10:16,673 --> 00:10:19,371 who was handing out samplers outside of the Hot Diggity Dog. 265 00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:21,070 [CHUCKLES] I should probably go alphabetically, 266 00:10:21,095 --> 00:10:22,719 in case I lose my place. We'd have to start all over. 267 00:10:22,744 --> 00:10:24,555 Oh, don't want that. 268 00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:29,222 [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY] 269 00:10:29,247 --> 00:10:31,772 - Here you go. Enjoy. - Thanks. 270 00:10:37,749 --> 00:10:38,792 Hi. 271 00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:40,209 Oh. She didn't. 272 00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:41,365 You look great. 273 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,652 Of course she did. 274 00:10:42,677 --> 00:10:44,523 Joanntha said you were ready to talk. 275 00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:46,625 I so did not tell her that. 276 00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:49,055 But that's... That's okay. 277 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,336 That's okay! 278 00:10:50,838 --> 00:10:52,258 You didn't know that. And we're all just being 279 00:10:52,283 --> 00:10:54,352 the best versions of ourselves that we're capable of being. 280 00:10:56,024 --> 00:10:57,570 C-C-Can we sit? 281 00:10:58,402 --> 00:10:59,577 Give me a few minutes? 282 00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:00,609 Please? 283 00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:03,617 Fine. 284 00:11:12,807 --> 00:11:14,188 So how was our honeymoon? 285 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,633 I'm guessing that my prayers for a devastating hurricane 286 00:11:16,658 --> 00:11:19,203 - went unanswered. - [LAUGHS] There's my girl. 287 00:11:19,228 --> 00:11:20,336 I'm not a girl. 288 00:11:20,665 --> 00:11:22,172 And I'm not "your" anything. 289 00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:25,625 Look, I know I shouldn't have gone, 290 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,203 but I needed to get away from here. 291 00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,188 Everyone hates me. 292 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,016 Which they should, I get it. 293 00:11:32,728 --> 00:11:34,508 - But it's hard. - As hard as you were 294 00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,099 when you were inside Helen's mouth? 295 00:11:36,124 --> 00:11:38,258 I wanted her to leave the night before, 296 00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:40,742 but it was late and it seemed unsafe for her to drive. 297 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,719 - Oh, my G... - W-W-Wait. Please. 298 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,070 S-Sit. 299 00:11:45,935 --> 00:11:47,452 I'm glad you brought it up, 300 00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:49,469 'cause I've been thinking a lot about why I did that, 301 00:11:49,494 --> 00:11:50,756 and... I don't know. 302 00:11:50,781 --> 00:11:52,652 Cool. Yeah, thanks for the clarity. 303 00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,297 I was out of my mind. 304 00:11:55,141 --> 00:11:56,341 The whole time. 305 00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:58,832 Every conversation led to mortgages 306 00:11:58,857 --> 00:12:01,578 and babies and 401Ks and retirement. 307 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,609 Retirement?! 308 00:12:04,035 --> 00:12:05,781 I'm supposed to start thinking of retirement? 309 00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:08,078 We, Brett. We were supposed to start thinking 310 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,648 of all of those things together. 311 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,844 I was freaked out, too, 312 00:12:13,869 --> 00:12:16,219 but you didn't catch me sitting on a caterer's face. 313 00:12:16,434 --> 00:12:18,305 Specifically the tall one with the motorcycle 314 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,070 who made the filling for the lettuce cup things. 315 00:12:20,313 --> 00:12:22,655 Those fillings were delicious when we had them at the tasting. 316 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,023 He's clearly passionate. 317 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,538 I've missed you. 318 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,523 Tell me what I can do to get you back. 319 00:12:32,548 --> 00:12:33,797 I'll do whatever you say. 320 00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:36,109 I don't know what to say. 321 00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:40,109 Then at least tell me it's not over. 322 00:12:41,092 --> 00:12:43,367 It's a... It's a hurdle, right? 323 00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:44,969 We'll get over it? 324 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:50,265 I really don't know. 325 00:12:51,566 --> 00:12:52,785 Bye, Brett. 326 00:12:57,255 --> 00:12:59,127 [SQUEALS] Shh! She's coming. 327 00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:00,391 Okay, everybody, freeze! 328 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,633 Right this way, honey. 329 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,257 ALL: Surprise! 330 00:13:12,282 --> 00:13:14,898 - What is this? - It's your period party! 331 00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:15,969 Oh, no. 332 00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:19,344 Happy Menses, Little Lunar Lady. 333 00:13:19,369 --> 00:13:21,031 Check this out. 334 00:13:21,056 --> 00:13:24,320 All vaginas are different, but they are all beautiful. 335 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,141 And don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 336 00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:30,969 Some have long, luxurious lips, kind of like mine. 337 00:13:30,994 --> 00:13:33,852 Some of them are like two baby carrots, kissing. 338 00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:36,352 - Mine smells like sugar cookies. - Ew. 339 00:13:36,377 --> 00:13:39,585 We are gathered here today 340 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:45,563 to celebrate the first shedding of Breeze's uterine lining. 341 00:13:45,588 --> 00:13:46,632 Whoo! 342 00:13:46,657 --> 00:13:48,311 [CHEERING] 343 00:13:48,336 --> 00:13:49,508 All right, all right, all right. 344 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:52,391 Babe, this is for you. 345 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,930 Oh, please no... 346 00:13:54,955 --> 00:13:56,217 One second. 347 00:13:57,716 --> 00:13:58,890 Yes. 348 00:13:59,918 --> 00:14:02,094 Exultation in Menstruation, 349 00:14:02,395 --> 00:14:04,016 a poem by Evelyn Stanton. 350 00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:07,602 "A torrent of crimson, 351 00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:10,367 Godsent from the blood moon, 352 00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:13,453 struts down my dryad legs, 353 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:17,507 noble and tasting of fetid iron, soaking..." 354 00:14:17,532 --> 00:14:18,532 Stop! 355 00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:20,311 What is wrong with all of you? 356 00:14:20,336 --> 00:14:21,757 LULU: We're here to make you feel special 357 00:14:21,782 --> 00:14:23,530 on this special occasion. 358 00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:25,186 Okay, I don't want to feel special! 359 00:14:25,211 --> 00:14:26,921 I want to feel normal! 360 00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:32,436 ♪♪ 361 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:35,392 [SCOFFS] 362 00:14:35,569 --> 00:14:37,876 - Hormones. - [ALL CHUCKLE] 363 00:14:40,709 --> 00:14:41,741 SHART: Pull! 364 00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:43,287 [GUNSHOT] 365 00:14:43,785 --> 00:14:45,395 Nice shot, man! 366 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,805 - Ha-ha-ha! Whoo! - Yeah. 367 00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:50,095 This does feel pretty good. 368 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,781 Whoo! Ha-ha! 369 00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:53,486 - Your turn, bro. - I'm good. 370 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,796 It's man day. Take the gun. 371 00:14:54,821 --> 00:14:55,996 I'll take his turn. 372 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,022 Nah. 373 00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:58,117 Your turn. 374 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,431 You're shooting a clay plate. 375 00:15:00,456 --> 00:15:01,587 It represents a bird. 376 00:15:01,612 --> 00:15:02,672 It represents a plate. 377 00:15:02,697 --> 00:15:05,273 I'll go. Seriously, I'll go. 378 00:15:05,298 --> 00:15:07,414 No. I'm going again. 379 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,391 - Pull! - Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. 380 00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:11,563 [GUNSHOT] 381 00:15:11,753 --> 00:15:13,102 - Whoo! - Damn it! 382 00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:14,852 It's not a real bird! 383 00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:17,047 But even if it was, birds are gross. 384 00:15:17,072 --> 00:15:18,641 They're little dinosaurs that want to kills us. 385 00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:19,875 We have to kill them first. 386 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:22,680 What truth is your violence sublimating? 387 00:15:22,705 --> 00:15:24,695 I'm gonna sublimate your ass if you don't shut up. 388 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,523 Guys, smile! 389 00:15:27,723 --> 00:15:30,272 Ha. You both look miserable! 390 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,656 It's perfect! 391 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,599 Give me the gun! 392 00:15:36,198 --> 00:15:37,678 What are you running from? 393 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,125 I'm not running from anything. 394 00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:41,367 Lulu kicked me out. 395 00:15:41,783 --> 00:15:43,203 And what does your heart tell you? 396 00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:46,188 That I... That I'm gonna be kicked out 397 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,625 of a lot of Breeze's life from now on. 398 00:15:48,135 --> 00:15:49,788 And how does your heart feel? 399 00:15:52,269 --> 00:15:54,297 - Broken. - And? 400 00:15:55,098 --> 00:15:56,180 Got to help me here. 401 00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:59,523 You feel like you're being forced to represent the patriarchy, 402 00:15:59,548 --> 00:16:02,133 despite your unwavering support of the women 403 00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,219 in your life and women everywhere. 404 00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,859 Yes! Ahh! 405 00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:08,407 Woman shouldn't patriarchy me. 406 00:16:08,432 --> 00:16:09,445 Correct. 407 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,366 [LAUGHS] I'm gonna take back the night! 408 00:16:11,391 --> 00:16:13,594 - Too far. - DAVID: Pull! Pull! 409 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,531 [GUNSHOT] 410 00:16:18,454 --> 00:16:20,500 Nothing more fun than a gun! 411 00:16:20,525 --> 00:16:21,773 And safety. 412 00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:23,928 ♪♪ 413 00:16:23,953 --> 00:16:25,164 Hmm. 414 00:16:26,608 --> 00:16:28,070 You were gone quite a while. 415 00:16:28,095 --> 00:16:30,602 Yeah, strangest thing, I thought I saw Brett, 416 00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:32,678 but then I left and avoided him completely. 417 00:16:32,703 --> 00:16:33,711 You what? 418 00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:36,742 Oh, Mandy, you were supposed to, you know... 419 00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:38,421 Why do you always... 420 00:16:38,446 --> 00:16:40,828 Calm your body, puppet-master. 421 00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:43,445 I saw him. 422 00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:46,164 And? 423 00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:47,977 It was awkward. 424 00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,953 And it was sad, Mom. 425 00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:54,977 And I'm just confused. 426 00:16:55,198 --> 00:16:58,128 And it's still too soon, and I just... I don't know yet. 427 00:16:58,161 --> 00:16:59,161 Oh. 428 00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:01,558 It was a start. 429 00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:05,643 Just wish you'd had a facial before you saw him. 430 00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,785 - Maybe bleached your arm hair. - Mother. 431 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:10,980 How about... 432 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:13,066 How about you take a nice, 433 00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:16,910 hot steam shower and just relax? 434 00:17:17,777 --> 00:17:19,008 That sounds nice. 435 00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,041 Good. 436 00:17:20,066 --> 00:17:21,837 [SIGHS] 437 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,056 [DOORBELL RINGS] 438 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,011 Oh, why, who could that be? 439 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,339 - Mom! If that's Brett... - No. 440 00:17:27,364 --> 00:17:28,626 - I am so... - You know, I have... 441 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,972 Mom! 442 00:17:29,997 --> 00:17:33,058 ♪♪ 443 00:17:35,508 --> 00:17:37,206 Is that bagels and lox? 444 00:17:37,231 --> 00:17:38,753 - [DOORBELL RINGS] - ♪ That chandelier ♪ 445 00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,425 Oh, my God, Chinese food! 446 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:42,712 [DOORBELL RINGS] 447 00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:44,254 Sushi! 448 00:17:45,078 --> 00:17:47,121 - [DOORBELL RINGS] - It's crazy. 449 00:17:48,516 --> 00:17:49,691 [GASPS] 450 00:17:49,716 --> 00:17:51,805 Oh, my God! Anton! 451 00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,566 [LAUGHS] 452 00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:57,301 Thanks, Mommy! 453 00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,464 ♪ Watch this color shine, oh, so glamorous ♪ 454 00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:01,489 Lulu! 455 00:18:03,159 --> 00:18:04,757 - Hey. - I get it. 456 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,683 It was too much. I get over-excited sometimes. 457 00:18:08,037 --> 00:18:09,441 Okay, all the time. 458 00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:10,793 I think we overdid it a little. 459 00:18:10,818 --> 00:18:13,033 I don't want her to have bed memories around this. 460 00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:14,498 Oh. It's too important. 461 00:18:14,523 --> 00:18:16,121 - Yeah. - Can I talk to her? 462 00:18:16,146 --> 00:18:17,911 Oh, no. I don't think that's a good idea. 463 00:18:17,936 --> 00:18:19,199 - I'll be real quick. - Oh. 464 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,426 Yeah. 465 00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:27,496 Breeze, I am so sorry for going about this the wrong way. 466 00:18:27,789 --> 00:18:29,652 - Forget it, it's fine. - No. 467 00:18:29,677 --> 00:18:31,838 We should have planned something far more intimate 468 00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:33,213 to welcome you into womanhood. 469 00:18:33,256 --> 00:18:34,262 Intimate? 470 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,660 I don't need any welcoming. 471 00:18:37,238 --> 00:18:38,238 There you go. 472 00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:40,011 - What's going on? - Okay. 473 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,871 - Delilah? - Come. 474 00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:44,276 Let's all part our legs and peer together 475 00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:46,972 into the heart of our female power. 476 00:18:46,997 --> 00:18:49,160 - No, no, no. No, no. - Whoa! Mom? 477 00:18:49,185 --> 00:18:50,665 - Whoo! - Mom. 478 00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:51,778 Can we get some better lighting in here? 479 00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:53,109 Pick up your panties. 480 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:54,935 Lulu, you're body shaming. 481 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,434 - Mom! - Delilah! No means no! 482 00:18:57,459 --> 00:18:59,152 Oh, my God! 483 00:19:00,637 --> 00:19:04,051 ♪♪ 484 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,371 ♪ I never sleep 'cause I am a dream ♪ 485 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,746 ♪ I'm perfection in the first degree ♪ 486 00:19:10,771 --> 00:19:13,905 ♪ Being myself is the perfect crime ♪ 487 00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:17,281 ♪ I'm goin' solo and I'm all right ♪ 488 00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:19,958 ♪ I've never felt so fly ♪ 489 00:19:20,215 --> 00:19:23,522 ♪ It's nothin' that money can buy ♪ 490 00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:26,578 ♪ Don't need to tell me why ♪ 491 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:30,608 ♪ Come with me or say bye-bye ♪ 492 00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:33,767 ♪ I am the queen bee ♪ 493 00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:36,926 ♪ Gimme all your sugar, honey, give it to me ♪ 494 00:19:36,951 --> 00:19:40,171 ♪ I am the queen bee ♪ 495 00:19:40,196 --> 00:19:41,913 ♪ Oh, so sweet ♪ 496 00:19:41,938 --> 00:19:43,288 ♪ Oh, so sweet ♪ 497 00:19:43,313 --> 00:19:45,913 ♪ Say rah, rah, rah ♪ 498 00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:50,592 Have you ever worked the Dickens Faire? 499 00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:53,859 No. I'd need all new hats. 500 00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:55,334 I have some you can borrow. 501 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,086 How big is your head? 502 00:19:58,982 --> 00:19:59,982 [SCOFFS] 503 00:20:00,108 --> 00:20:01,224 Big. 504 00:20:01,249 --> 00:20:02,530 [LAUGHS] 505 00:20:02,555 --> 00:20:04,819 Good Christ. Will you leave already? 506 00:20:04,844 --> 00:20:07,288 - Maggie! - This was supposed to be my day! 507 00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:11,866 I'm gonna leave you two to, uh, do more things. 508 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:13,907 We can throw pots another time. 509 00:20:13,932 --> 00:20:15,238 I'm sorry. 510 00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:19,685 Why are you apologizing to him? 511 00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:20,710 [SCOFFS] 512 00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:22,889 You are something else. 513 00:20:23,008 --> 00:20:26,155 What? This day was supposed to be about uter-us, 514 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:29,178 not uter-you-and-your-Faire-Bear. 515 00:20:29,318 --> 00:20:30,885 What did you call him? 516 00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:32,553 Faire Bear. Is that offensive? 517 00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:34,580 Should I call him the Hairy Guatemalan instead? 518 00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:36,920 He's Dominican. And he's from Ohio. 519 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,749 Well, wherever he's from, he should wax his back. 520 00:20:38,774 --> 00:20:40,944 There were tufts coming out of the back of his shirt. 521 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,983 - I'm leaving. - Good. Go. 522 00:20:44,008 --> 00:20:46,545 Have a wonderful time getting dirty with your Ohioan. 523 00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:49,889 I'll finish the rest of our hysterecto-versary events alone. 524 00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:50,983 Theme of my life. 525 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:52,741 Unbelievable. 526 00:20:53,246 --> 00:20:54,811 If it's not about you for five minutes, 527 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,397 you sulk like a child whose Nintendo was taken away. 528 00:20:58,071 --> 00:21:00,428 I am not 100% certain, 529 00:21:00,453 --> 00:21:02,475 but Nintendo seems like a dated reference. 530 00:21:02,884 --> 00:21:04,277 For a supposed Queen, 531 00:21:04,302 --> 00:21:07,631 you are a terrible hostess and a real drag. 532 00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:10,303 And, yes, I'm aware of using the words drag 533 00:21:10,328 --> 00:21:11,788 and queen close together, 534 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:13,206 and I'm fine with it. 535 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,711 Viva RuPaul! 536 00:21:16,507 --> 00:21:17,631 [WHIMPERS] 537 00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:20,834 Ugh. 538 00:21:22,319 --> 00:21:24,558 ♪♪ 539 00:21:24,601 --> 00:21:26,678 Whoo! Nice shot, Katniss! 540 00:21:27,681 --> 00:21:29,319 The girl from "The Hunger Games"? 541 00:21:29,415 --> 00:21:31,717 Oh. I wasn't allowed to read books 542 00:21:31,742 --> 00:21:33,150 with female heroines. 543 00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:34,437 Or by female authors. 544 00:21:34,462 --> 00:21:36,028 Wow. No Judy Blume? 545 00:21:36,053 --> 00:21:37,228 Bible only. 546 00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:38,553 Unless I was on my period, 547 00:21:38,578 --> 00:21:40,710 then I was even forbidden to touch that. 548 00:21:40,735 --> 00:21:44,366 Oh, and my mom said that a tampon would take my virginity 549 00:21:44,391 --> 00:21:47,133 and no man would marry me and I'd go straight to hell. 550 00:21:47,158 --> 00:21:49,732 Also, seeing a PG-13 movie would send me to hell. 551 00:21:49,757 --> 00:21:51,062 Also, saying the word "hell." 552 00:21:51,087 --> 00:21:52,262 Unless you were talking about hell. 553 00:21:52,287 --> 00:21:53,405 Then it was fine. 554 00:21:54,065 --> 00:21:55,676 That was super confusing for me. 555 00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:56,924 Phew. I can only imagine. 556 00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:58,655 I don't want to, though. Sounds awful. 557 00:22:00,192 --> 00:22:03,412 Yeah. I left before they could completely extinguish my light. 558 00:22:03,437 --> 00:22:05,830 I can attest to that. You shine bright. 559 00:22:05,855 --> 00:22:07,795 Yeah, well. 560 00:22:07,924 --> 00:22:10,013 Look, I'm sorry about freaking out 561 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:12,388 over the vagina gazing. 562 00:22:12,413 --> 00:22:14,459 I-I know you love Breeze. 563 00:22:14,484 --> 00:22:18,454 Lulu, I just wanted her to feel beautiful today. 564 00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:20,657 My parents said that I welcomed the devil 565 00:22:20,682 --> 00:22:21,993 when I got my period. 566 00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:23,747 Which made me think the devil 567 00:22:23,772 --> 00:22:25,618 was into some really weird stuff. 568 00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:30,120 My parents gave me uptight country clubs 569 00:22:30,145 --> 00:22:32,063 and tennis lessons and boarding school. 570 00:22:32,088 --> 00:22:34,646 And they were definitely into some weird stuff. 571 00:22:34,671 --> 00:22:36,001 At least I thought it was weird. 572 00:22:36,026 --> 00:22:38,251 To everyone else, they were the paragons of normal. 573 00:22:38,276 --> 00:22:39,276 Ugh. 574 00:22:40,007 --> 00:22:41,813 Are you picturing your parents in the target? 575 00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:44,126 - No! That's awful. - Sorry. 576 00:22:44,151 --> 00:22:46,005 I'm picturing them as the arrows. 577 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:47,554 The target is me. 578 00:22:49,915 --> 00:22:52,004 That is so much sadder. 579 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,010 Are you back to bingeing and purging? 580 00:23:00,035 --> 00:23:01,035 No. 581 00:23:01,415 --> 00:23:03,415 This is what lifting kegs affords you. 582 00:23:03,439 --> 00:23:04,832 This is my fourth carb load today 583 00:23:04,857 --> 00:23:06,056 and I haven't even cried about it. 584 00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:08,907 Well, you will tomorrow when your ass is so big 585 00:23:08,932 --> 00:23:10,760 you could hatch the moon if you sat on it. 586 00:23:10,785 --> 00:23:11,923 I'm just saying. 587 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,641 LEXI: You can't sit on the moon. 588 00:23:14,325 --> 00:23:15,935 There's, like, no gravity there. 589 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,384 The kids are good. I put on "Moana." 590 00:23:18,844 --> 00:23:21,024 You don't worry about the gender-stereotypical messaging 591 00:23:21,049 --> 00:23:23,391 of those movies? I plan to ban princesses 592 00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:24,970 - I ever have kids. - Good luck with that. 593 00:23:25,535 --> 00:23:27,556 It's really good to be here with you guys. 594 00:23:28,857 --> 00:23:31,164 I'm gonna visit home more often. I promise. 595 00:23:31,189 --> 00:23:32,235 Visit? 596 00:23:33,459 --> 00:23:36,186 You are not going back to that godforsaken place. 597 00:23:36,211 --> 00:23:37,220 Of course I am. 598 00:23:37,245 --> 00:23:39,421 Oh, Amanda, stop. 599 00:23:39,591 --> 00:23:41,751 Stop with this foolishness. 600 00:23:42,609 --> 00:23:45,462 You belong here. With us. 601 00:23:46,096 --> 00:23:47,422 At home. 602 00:23:48,132 --> 00:23:50,040 Or within a few blocks. 603 00:23:50,268 --> 00:23:52,724 Just not too far east. 604 00:23:52,749 --> 00:23:54,563 It gets very ethnic around York. 605 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,317 I'm going back tonight, Mother. 606 00:23:56,342 --> 00:23:58,142 I already told you that. I have a job. 607 00:23:58,606 --> 00:24:01,130 Do you have health insurance? Do you pay taxes? 608 00:24:01,155 --> 00:24:02,735 - No, but... - That's not a job. 609 00:24:02,944 --> 00:24:05,665 No, it... it kind of is. I mean, you... 610 00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,829 No, it's not, Nick, and neither are your stylist gigs 611 00:24:07,854 --> 00:24:10,626 or those "comedic" videos you put on your YouTube channel. 612 00:24:10,651 --> 00:24:12,618 Being single and lonely and very alone 613 00:24:12,643 --> 00:24:14,920 and all alone has made you very mean, Morgan. 614 00:24:15,414 --> 00:24:17,029 Guys. All right. 615 00:24:17,334 --> 00:24:19,185 I think the time has come. 616 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,458 Dr. Bloom! 617 00:24:22,779 --> 00:24:25,303 Wow. "Moana." Wow. 618 00:24:25,328 --> 00:24:27,553 The water is a character. 619 00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:29,375 What is going on? 620 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,531 Can somebody pass the broccolini? 621 00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:32,015 Not now, Joel! Jesus. 622 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,179 DR. BLOOM: Amanda, 623 00:24:33,747 --> 00:24:36,765 everyone in this room is here because they love you 624 00:24:36,921 --> 00:24:38,273 and they want to help you. 625 00:24:38,750 --> 00:24:40,125 With what? 626 00:24:40,787 --> 00:24:43,616 Are you familiar with the term "intervention"? 627 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,593 Oh, my G... 628 00:24:46,314 --> 00:24:49,750 I went on one mini bender after the BJ incident. 629 00:24:49,775 --> 00:24:51,210 I think that I'm entitled. 630 00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:53,394 God. Why does everyone think I'm an alcoholic? 631 00:24:53,419 --> 00:24:54,804 Only Morgan thinks that. 632 00:24:54,829 --> 00:24:56,968 Everyone else thinks you've been brainwashed by a cult. 633 00:24:56,993 --> 00:24:58,984 I'm never telling you anything, ever again. 634 00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:03,129 Okay, but maybe we should focus on the alcoholism thing first? 635 00:25:03,154 --> 00:25:05,275 Since it's a little weird that that's something 636 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:07,302 she mentioned right off the bat, isn't it? 637 00:25:07,538 --> 00:25:08,757 I'm drinking water! 638 00:25:08,782 --> 00:25:10,347 - Anybody want a lamb chop? - Oh, my God. 639 00:25:10,372 --> 00:25:11,803 I want to punch you in the face. 640 00:25:11,828 --> 00:25:13,191 I had a light lunch. 641 00:25:14,342 --> 00:25:16,269 Can we just get on with the intervening? 642 00:25:16,294 --> 00:25:18,402 I have to meet a friend at the Carlyle at 10:00. 643 00:25:18,427 --> 00:25:19,668 What friend? 644 00:25:19,877 --> 00:25:21,090 I have friends. 645 00:25:21,115 --> 00:25:23,980 First off. Welcome, everyone. 646 00:25:24,005 --> 00:25:28,082 Um, what is an intervention? 647 00:25:28,933 --> 00:25:31,257 "A therapeutic intervention is an effort 648 00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:34,402 made by individuals or groups 649 00:25:34,427 --> 00:25:37,511 to improve the well-being of someone else 650 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,230 who either is in need of help but refusing it 651 00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:44,340 or is otherwise unable to initiate or accept help." 652 00:25:45,394 --> 00:25:47,621 She's... She's not even listening. 653 00:25:48,561 --> 00:25:50,019 Do you think it's too late? 654 00:25:50,044 --> 00:25:52,089 Has she been fully brainwashed? 655 00:25:52,114 --> 00:25:55,368 Amanda, your friends and family 656 00:25:55,393 --> 00:25:57,433 have gathered here out of love. 657 00:25:58,129 --> 00:26:00,330 Please show them some respect and turn off your phone. 658 00:26:00,355 --> 00:26:01,418 Fine. 659 00:26:02,427 --> 00:26:03,428 Will you pass me that salad? 660 00:26:03,453 --> 00:26:04,855 Dinner is over, Joel! 661 00:26:06,075 --> 00:26:07,903 Deprogramming in the living room! 662 00:26:07,928 --> 00:26:08,972 Now. 663 00:26:08,997 --> 00:26:13,131 ♪♪ 664 00:26:13,163 --> 00:26:14,574 - Hey. - Hey. 665 00:26:14,599 --> 00:26:18,886 Um, so I've given this a lot of thought. 666 00:26:19,086 --> 00:26:21,088 And I prepared a speech. 667 00:26:21,113 --> 00:26:23,183 Oh. Okay. 668 00:26:24,684 --> 00:26:28,457 Lulu, I am Breeze's parent, too, 669 00:26:28,482 --> 00:26:30,597 and although I'm not the same gender, 670 00:26:30,810 --> 00:26:32,318 I can share in her milestones. 671 00:26:32,343 --> 00:26:33,431 So... 672 00:26:36,214 --> 00:26:39,402 That sounded a... Sounded a lot longer in my head 673 00:26:39,427 --> 00:26:41,721 - when I was... - Well, knock yourself out, babe. 674 00:26:41,746 --> 00:26:43,558 I failed miserably. 675 00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:45,519 Aw. 676 00:26:46,725 --> 00:26:47,725 What happened? 677 00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:49,183 It seemed like such a nice party. 678 00:26:50,513 --> 00:26:51,949 I made a bad call. 679 00:26:51,974 --> 00:26:53,672 So I get to be the cool parent? 680 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:56,229 Ha-ha! Yes! 681 00:26:56,254 --> 00:26:58,527 Uh, hey. Happy womanhood. 682 00:27:04,898 --> 00:27:06,987 - A phone? - What every 13-year-old wants, 683 00:27:07,012 --> 00:27:08,710 a distraction from their confusing reality. 684 00:27:08,735 --> 00:27:09,808 You got her a phone? 685 00:27:09,833 --> 00:27:10,877 Uh-huh. 686 00:27:10,902 --> 00:27:13,534 Wow. This is... very cool. 687 00:27:13,559 --> 00:27:14,559 Thank you. 688 00:27:15,363 --> 00:27:17,998 No jumping up and down, accompanied by shrill screams? 689 00:27:18,023 --> 00:27:19,229 It's not a toy one, you know? 690 00:27:19,254 --> 00:27:20,894 Yeah, yeah, I know. But... 691 00:27:21,232 --> 00:27:23,264 a phone is only fun when you have friends 692 00:27:23,289 --> 00:27:25,279 - to talk to on it. - You have friends. 693 00:27:25,304 --> 00:27:28,200 I have four friends, and exactly none of them are my age. 694 00:27:28,225 --> 00:27:29,966 - [SIGHS] - A phone is great, 695 00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:31,631 but what I really want... 696 00:27:33,014 --> 00:27:37,029 [SIGHS] is to go to middle school like a normal kid. 697 00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:38,943 Well, that's just... It's not practical. 698 00:27:38,968 --> 00:27:40,665 Oh, really? For who? You? 699 00:27:40,690 --> 00:27:42,866 Nobody ever asked me what I want. 700 00:27:42,891 --> 00:27:45,756 And what I want is a real school. 701 00:27:45,991 --> 00:27:48,521 I'm too old to be homeschooled. 702 00:27:49,856 --> 00:27:51,467 Is public school still free? 703 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:53,555 'Cause that thing cost like 200 bucks. 704 00:27:53,580 --> 00:27:54,740 So sounds like a deal to me. 705 00:27:54,765 --> 00:27:58,056 Oh, a deal with the fascist institution 706 00:27:58,081 --> 00:28:00,443 that is American public education right now? 707 00:28:01,344 --> 00:28:03,889 I mean, it's study to the test. Study to the test. 708 00:28:03,914 --> 00:28:05,600 I don't think so. 709 00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:06,998 - You're the fascists! - [GASPS] 710 00:28:07,023 --> 00:28:09,576 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 711 00:28:10,266 --> 00:28:11,982 Let's all take a deep breath 712 00:28:12,464 --> 00:28:15,203 and count back to democratic ideals, huh? 713 00:28:15,630 --> 00:28:18,773 Now, your mom and I have heard what you've had to say 714 00:28:18,798 --> 00:28:20,930 and we'll discuss. 715 00:28:20,955 --> 00:28:22,744 - There's nothing to discuss. - [GRUNTS] 716 00:28:24,630 --> 00:28:25,853 No fascists here, right? 717 00:28:26,515 --> 00:28:27,907 Right. 718 00:28:31,607 --> 00:28:32,814 Ooh. 719 00:28:36,642 --> 00:28:38,142 What happened to Master Zen? 720 00:28:39,458 --> 00:28:40,916 [SIGHS] 721 00:28:41,667 --> 00:28:44,104 If I sent you a cryptic message saying, "Save me," 722 00:28:44,129 --> 00:28:45,611 you wouldn't at least look into it? 723 00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:47,914 Yes, but you're not a high-maintenance socialite 724 00:28:47,939 --> 00:28:48,958 prone to hysterics. 725 00:28:48,983 --> 00:28:50,439 Don't ignore the signs, man. 726 00:28:50,579 --> 00:28:52,705 I had a friend who kept saying his parents wanted 727 00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:54,994 to send him away, and then they did. 728 00:28:55,019 --> 00:28:56,332 They nabbed him in the middle of the night, 729 00:28:56,357 --> 00:28:57,611 totally against his will. 730 00:28:57,636 --> 00:28:59,727 Well, her family is trying to intervention her 731 00:28:59,752 --> 00:29:00,883 away from the faire. 732 00:29:00,908 --> 00:29:02,127 How far can they get with that? 733 00:29:02,152 --> 00:29:04,514 There's a reason why the rehab industry 734 00:29:04,539 --> 00:29:05,892 has become a big business. 735 00:29:05,917 --> 00:29:07,483 Lack of government oversight? 736 00:29:07,508 --> 00:29:09,911 Because they kidnap most of their patients. 737 00:29:09,936 --> 00:29:11,853 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, well, she's an adult. 738 00:29:11,878 --> 00:29:13,750 I'd like to see them try to steal her away. 739 00:29:13,775 --> 00:29:15,439 You were the last one to hear from her. 740 00:29:15,611 --> 00:29:18,091 - Meaning...? - Meaning it'll be all on you. 741 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,736 Okay, yeah, fair point. 742 00:29:28,002 --> 00:29:29,922 I borrowed your truck for a beer run. 743 00:29:29,947 --> 00:29:32,166 - Just make me a promise. - Absolutely not. 744 00:29:32,191 --> 00:29:33,955 - Find these ribs a home. - [SCOFFS] 745 00:29:34,329 --> 00:29:37,033 The murder of this pig will not stain my soul. 746 00:29:37,058 --> 00:29:40,353 If that brave animal's sacrifice goes to waste, it's on you. 747 00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:42,764 I've seen some nutty stuff, 748 00:29:42,789 --> 00:29:45,686 but a funeral for your lady parts? 749 00:29:45,711 --> 00:29:46,822 That was new. 750 00:29:47,271 --> 00:29:50,294 Last year, she made me howl with her the full moon. 751 00:29:51,952 --> 00:29:53,208 You're a good friend. 752 00:29:54,197 --> 00:29:58,028 She's a good friend, too. She just... forgets. 753 00:29:58,650 --> 00:30:01,380 And you remind her instead of leaving her to howl alone. 754 00:30:01,958 --> 00:30:03,895 That's what makes you one of the good guys. 755 00:30:05,894 --> 00:30:07,669 I'm sorry our plans didn't work out. 756 00:30:07,694 --> 00:30:10,301 No regrets. We're here now! 757 00:30:10,645 --> 00:30:13,866 All's well, et cetera. 758 00:30:15,309 --> 00:30:16,394 Ah. 759 00:30:18,348 --> 00:30:22,486 ♪♪ 760 00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:24,793 [HOWLS] 761 00:30:24,818 --> 00:30:26,176 [LAUGHS] 762 00:30:26,201 --> 00:30:28,942 [HOWLS] 763 00:30:31,324 --> 00:30:33,708 AMANDA: As I said before, it's not a cult. 764 00:30:33,733 --> 00:30:36,214 It's a community that values acceptance 765 00:30:36,239 --> 00:30:38,200 and... and... And love and... 766 00:30:38,225 --> 00:30:40,169 Are you hearing this? Cult speak. 767 00:30:40,689 --> 00:30:42,559 LEXI: Are we completely off the alcoholic thing, 768 00:30:42,584 --> 00:30:44,309 'cause a drink would be really nice right now, 769 00:30:44,334 --> 00:30:45,770 but I don't want to be insensitive. 770 00:30:45,909 --> 00:30:48,536 DR. BLOOM: Amanda, tell us more about this "community." 771 00:30:48,561 --> 00:30:50,387 Morgan said all the women wear corsets 772 00:30:50,412 --> 00:30:52,684 and display their sweaty cleavage for the men. 773 00:30:52,709 --> 00:30:54,348 Oh, yeah. They're basically sex slaves. 774 00:30:54,682 --> 00:30:56,286 I thought the wench auction was cute. 775 00:30:56,311 --> 00:30:58,348 What the hell is a wench auction? 776 00:30:58,373 --> 00:30:59,760 - It's hard to explain. - Please try. 777 00:30:59,785 --> 00:31:01,161 My life is very dull. 778 00:31:01,374 --> 00:31:04,137 Okay. So, I want to thank you all for caring so much. 779 00:31:04,162 --> 00:31:05,417 I know it comes from a place of love. 780 00:31:05,442 --> 00:31:07,629 But I have to go now. I will see you all very soon. 781 00:31:07,654 --> 00:31:09,770 Mandy, listen to me... 782 00:31:09,795 --> 00:31:11,035 I've been listening. 783 00:31:11,060 --> 00:31:12,449 And I'm done listening. 784 00:31:12,474 --> 00:31:14,252 I've listened to all of you, okay? 785 00:31:14,277 --> 00:31:15,297 It's my life. 786 00:31:15,322 --> 00:31:17,215 Your life? Your life? 787 00:31:17,549 --> 00:31:18,550 Really? 788 00:31:18,575 --> 00:31:20,621 You're so independent? 789 00:31:20,893 --> 00:31:22,902 Who paid for four years at Vassar, 790 00:31:23,201 --> 00:31:25,829 and funded you while you tried to "write"? 791 00:31:25,854 --> 00:31:28,160 - [SCOFFS] - And shelled out a fortune 792 00:31:28,597 --> 00:31:31,754 for a gorgeous wedding that you ran out on? 793 00:31:32,508 --> 00:31:34,496 You've had your little nervous breakdown, dear. 794 00:31:34,521 --> 00:31:36,684 It's time to come home. 795 00:31:37,195 --> 00:31:40,160 Besides, you're not built for a sex cult. 796 00:31:40,668 --> 00:31:42,402 Not with your short cervix. 797 00:31:42,427 --> 00:31:43,994 I have the short cervix, Mom. 798 00:31:44,019 --> 00:31:45,426 She has the fatty lipomas. 799 00:31:45,451 --> 00:31:47,801 - [SCOFFS] Whatever. - It's not a sex cult! 800 00:31:47,826 --> 00:31:49,934 I live there, and I'm happy there. 801 00:31:49,959 --> 00:31:52,073 Why is that so hard for you to understand?! 802 00:31:52,098 --> 00:31:54,506 Because it's not who you are! 803 00:31:55,674 --> 00:31:57,589 Since when has a nice Jewish girl 804 00:31:57,614 --> 00:32:00,764 found happiness this far away from Henri Bendel's? 805 00:32:00,789 --> 00:32:03,258 You really pulled out all the stops, didn't you, Mom? 806 00:32:03,283 --> 00:32:04,881 And I keep falling for it. 807 00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:08,167 Massages and lattes a-a-and Brett? 808 00:32:08,391 --> 00:32:09,917 God, why do I keep getting sucked back in 809 00:32:09,942 --> 00:32:11,690 to your constant manipulation? 810 00:32:11,715 --> 00:32:13,238 DR. BLOOM: Oh, a lot of it's cultural. 811 00:32:13,263 --> 00:32:15,353 Many of my Jewish clients feel manipulated 812 00:32:15,378 --> 00:32:16,479 - by their parents. - Oh, shut up! 813 00:32:16,504 --> 00:32:18,964 I have finally found a place where I feel good. 814 00:32:18,989 --> 00:32:20,253 And I'm gonna stay there for as long 815 00:32:20,278 --> 00:32:21,636 as I keep feeling that way. 816 00:32:21,661 --> 00:32:23,365 And I can only hope that each and every one of you 817 00:32:23,390 --> 00:32:24,870 find a place like that for yourselves. 818 00:32:24,895 --> 00:32:28,544 It's not normal, Amanda. Can you not see that? 819 00:32:28,569 --> 00:32:29,620 No. 820 00:32:29,813 --> 00:32:31,329 I mean, fine, it's not a sex cult 821 00:32:31,354 --> 00:32:32,921 and fine, you're finding yourself 822 00:32:32,946 --> 00:32:34,587 happily distracted for a bit, 823 00:32:34,612 --> 00:32:36,378 but you can't stay there forever. 824 00:32:36,403 --> 00:32:39,142 - Why not? - Come on. Be serious. 825 00:32:39,167 --> 00:32:40,189 That's your future? 826 00:32:40,214 --> 00:32:41,606 What's the big dream there? 827 00:32:41,631 --> 00:32:43,459 You become part of the monarchy? 828 00:32:43,484 --> 00:32:45,753 - Ooh. - You're as pretty as Meghan Markle. 829 00:32:45,778 --> 00:32:47,955 There are plenty of ways to grow there. Hmm? 830 00:32:47,980 --> 00:32:49,416 And build... stuff. 831 00:32:49,459 --> 00:32:50,573 Like what? 832 00:32:50,791 --> 00:32:52,689 Opportunities are everywhere there. 833 00:32:52,714 --> 00:32:55,266 - For real? - Yes, Nick, you should get on it, 834 00:32:55,291 --> 00:32:58,025 because it's seriously like a second before it comes mainstream. 835 00:32:58,050 --> 00:33:01,095 It is gonna be the Renaissance of the Renaissance Festival, 836 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,697 and I am gonna be a part of it. 837 00:33:05,039 --> 00:33:06,633 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 838 00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:11,021 Mandy, you'll... you'll... You'll come back 839 00:33:11,046 --> 00:33:12,494 for the high holidays, right? 840 00:33:13,179 --> 00:33:15,447 Probably. Yes. 841 00:33:19,145 --> 00:33:20,337 I'll send you my bill. 842 00:33:23,392 --> 00:33:26,465 Mama, do you wish I was a girl? 843 00:33:28,318 --> 00:33:32,061 Are you asking me because you wish you were a girl? 844 00:33:32,351 --> 00:33:34,212 No. I like being a boy. 845 00:33:36,115 --> 00:33:37,666 This is about the party, isn't it? 846 00:33:38,722 --> 00:33:40,681 Will I get a period party? 847 00:33:41,007 --> 00:33:45,247 No, sweetie. Because boys don't get periods. 848 00:33:45,829 --> 00:33:47,797 But someday, you're gonna wake up 849 00:33:47,822 --> 00:33:49,650 from a very special dream 850 00:33:49,675 --> 00:33:51,329 and we're gonna have an even bigger party. 851 00:33:51,354 --> 00:33:52,387 Okay? 852 00:33:52,527 --> 00:33:53,615 Okay. 853 00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:56,368 Mmm! 854 00:33:56,393 --> 00:33:57,840 Mwah, mwah, mwah! 855 00:33:58,398 --> 00:34:00,878 Ooh! Diggin' the tie. 856 00:34:00,922 --> 00:34:02,114 Very fancy. 857 00:34:02,588 --> 00:34:05,423 Oh! I'm supposed to bring you to the kitchen. 858 00:34:05,448 --> 00:34:06,884 Okay. 859 00:34:06,909 --> 00:34:09,781 ♪♪ 860 00:34:10,021 --> 00:34:11,240 Okay, straight? 861 00:34:12,089 --> 00:34:13,089 Okay. 862 00:34:13,497 --> 00:34:14,810 Where am I going, honey? 863 00:34:14,835 --> 00:34:16,733 - Straight. - Okay. 864 00:34:21,591 --> 00:34:23,423 ALL: Surprise! 865 00:34:23,448 --> 00:34:25,529 CALLIE: It's your period party, Delilah. 866 00:34:25,777 --> 00:34:28,076 And I really am having my period. 867 00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:30,144 - [LAUGHTER] - Amazing. 868 00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:32,591 Happy womanhood, my lovely friend. 869 00:34:32,616 --> 00:34:34,724 I'm fine, honey. 870 00:34:35,130 --> 00:34:36,523 It's just hormones. 871 00:34:36,548 --> 00:34:38,318 I know. I know. 872 00:34:38,343 --> 00:34:41,263 ♪♪ 873 00:34:41,969 --> 00:34:43,693 Godspeed, pig. 874 00:34:43,935 --> 00:34:46,334 Now go forth and nourish. 875 00:34:46,359 --> 00:34:47,795 [OINKS] 876 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:49,083 These look bitchin'. 877 00:34:49,108 --> 00:34:51,241 I haven't seen this much female anatomy 878 00:34:51,266 --> 00:34:53,685 since my parents sent me to conversion camp. 879 00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,066 JUAN ANDRÉS: It's like an off-Broadway production 880 00:34:55,091 --> 00:34:56,369 of the "Jack the Ripper" musical. 881 00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:57,451 [SHUDDERS] 882 00:34:57,753 --> 00:34:58,972 Back to my tent? 883 00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:00,005 Yep. 884 00:35:01,169 --> 00:35:05,682 ♪♪ 885 00:35:10,921 --> 00:35:12,666 So what happened after I left? 886 00:35:13,965 --> 00:35:15,408 I told her we'd go and look at middle school. 887 00:35:16,076 --> 00:35:17,268 Just look. 888 00:35:17,945 --> 00:35:18,971 That's fine. 889 00:35:19,852 --> 00:35:23,110 Fine like fine? Or fine like fine. 890 00:35:23,135 --> 00:35:24,396 Really fine. 891 00:35:26,533 --> 00:35:28,491 I'm still not sure. Can we use a different word? 892 00:35:28,516 --> 00:35:30,529 I'm willing to go look at middle school. 893 00:35:31,115 --> 00:35:33,076 But if I hear them say the word "standardized," 894 00:35:33,101 --> 00:35:34,200 we're out of there. 895 00:35:35,514 --> 00:35:36,927 She kept the phone? 896 00:35:37,245 --> 00:35:39,987 It's okay, I set up all the parental controls. 897 00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:42,518 After she showed me how. 898 00:35:42,543 --> 00:35:43,721 Hey. 899 00:35:44,765 --> 00:35:45,854 I... 900 00:35:46,626 --> 00:35:47,626 Ah. 901 00:35:48,149 --> 00:35:49,890 I cannot thank you guys enough. 902 00:35:52,512 --> 00:35:54,096 Especially you, Lulu. 903 00:35:56,260 --> 00:35:58,959 - It's piñata time. - Oh! Let me at it. 904 00:35:58,984 --> 00:36:01,049 What gross thing is in that piñata anyway? 905 00:36:01,192 --> 00:36:02,604 Menstrual cups? 906 00:36:03,777 --> 00:36:05,039 Whoo! 907 00:36:05,064 --> 00:36:09,068 [CHEERING] 908 00:36:09,093 --> 00:36:11,596 Chocolate. You get a free pass once a month. 909 00:36:11,621 --> 00:36:13,362 It's the upside. Go get some. 910 00:36:16,318 --> 00:36:17,432 AMANDA: Thank you. 911 00:36:23,630 --> 00:36:27,908 ♪♪ 912 00:36:44,890 --> 00:36:46,063 Whoa. 913 00:36:48,364 --> 00:36:49,447 What? 914 00:36:49,472 --> 00:36:50,877 Coming where? 915 00:36:51,568 --> 00:36:53,494 What's with all the happy noise? 916 00:36:53,851 --> 00:36:55,505 Breeze got her first period. 917 00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:57,260 So they're throwing a party for Delilah. 918 00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:59,674 Ugh. Thank God that's all behind me. 919 00:37:00,014 --> 00:37:02,369 Ugh! What a nightmare. 920 00:37:02,969 --> 00:37:04,221 I think it's kind of beautiful. 921 00:37:04,246 --> 00:37:07,080 Well, of course you do. [LAUGHS] 922 00:37:07,958 --> 00:37:11,871 Hey. Want to howl at the moon with me? 923 00:37:12,003 --> 00:37:15,645 I feel like that's a cultural appropriation of wolves. 924 00:37:15,670 --> 00:37:17,311 Afraid I have to pass. 925 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,848 [GROANS] Oh, my God. 926 00:37:23,037 --> 00:37:24,723 Ugh! This Wi-Fi sucks. 927 00:37:24,748 --> 00:37:27,059 I gotta post a video of that giant vagina 928 00:37:27,084 --> 00:37:28,477 getting beaten to death. 929 00:37:28,502 --> 00:37:29,762 I feel like that's wrong. 930 00:37:29,787 --> 00:37:32,152 So wrong! That's why it's hilarious. 931 00:37:32,177 --> 00:37:33,629 And goodnight. 932 00:37:34,606 --> 00:37:35,864 Oh. Hi, Miss Maggie. 933 00:37:35,889 --> 00:37:39,770 [SCOFFS] Miss. Mizz. Mizz Maggie. Spinster. 934 00:37:39,988 --> 00:37:41,129 You know what that means? 935 00:37:41,154 --> 00:37:43,591 It sounds cool. Like a deejay or something? 936 00:37:43,919 --> 00:37:45,723 It does sound cool, doesn't it? 937 00:37:46,408 --> 00:37:48,149 I'm a spinster. 938 00:37:48,174 --> 00:37:49,192 Cool. 939 00:37:51,889 --> 00:37:54,074 Don't focus on the bleeding and the pain. 940 00:37:54,479 --> 00:37:57,848 There's beauty in this thing called womanhood. 941 00:37:57,873 --> 00:37:59,048 A lot of beauty. 942 00:37:59,073 --> 00:38:00,354 Plus I got a phone. 943 00:38:00,379 --> 00:38:01,684 [CELLPHONE CHIMES] 944 00:38:01,709 --> 00:38:02,791 It just went through! 945 00:38:02,816 --> 00:38:03,965 Ooh. 946 00:38:04,209 --> 00:38:05,576 And I got my first "like." 947 00:38:05,601 --> 00:38:07,043 Huzzah. 948 00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:11,495 "I count myself in nothing else so happy, 949 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,437 as in a soul remembering my good friends." 950 00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:16,902 Okay. 951 00:38:21,269 --> 00:38:22,270 [DOOR CLOSES] 952 00:38:36,589 --> 00:38:37,589 BRIAN: Hello? 953 00:38:37,614 --> 00:38:40,601 ♪♪ 954 00:38:43,869 --> 00:38:44,869 Hello? 955 00:39:04,334 --> 00:39:05,421 JUAN ANDRÉS: Brian? 956 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:07,312 Comin' back? 957 00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:09,704 Yes. 958 00:39:12,178 --> 00:39:15,454 Hey, you wanna watch some more Kurosawa tonight? 959 00:39:17,207 --> 00:39:18,688 She's gone... 960 00:39:19,884 --> 00:39:21,095 to live... 961 00:39:22,346 --> 00:39:23,743 with your kind. 962 00:39:25,699 --> 00:39:27,024 At least for now. 963 00:39:27,049 --> 00:39:29,345 She claims to be happy. 964 00:39:31,296 --> 00:39:33,024 Does she seem happy to you? 965 00:39:33,552 --> 00:39:35,540 Yeah. She does. 966 00:39:39,282 --> 00:39:40,282 Okay. 967 00:39:40,681 --> 00:39:44,454 Well, I guess that's a good thing. 968 00:39:45,701 --> 00:39:47,368 I'm gonna go to bed now. 969 00:39:47,514 --> 00:39:50,001 Um... it was a very long train trip. 970 00:39:50,026 --> 00:39:51,811 Would it be okay if I used your bathroom? 971 00:39:51,836 --> 00:39:53,626 Do whatever you like. 972 00:39:58,289 --> 00:40:01,587 ♪♪ 973 00:40:03,637 --> 00:40:04,637 Ooh. 974 00:40:05,353 --> 00:40:08,659 ♪ You look so good, good, good ♪ 975 00:40:09,367 --> 00:40:11,976 ♪ When you do that swing thing ♪ 976 00:40:13,043 --> 00:40:16,346 ♪ Lookin' so good, good, good ♪ 977 00:40:17,094 --> 00:40:19,377 ♪ Swing your thing ♪ 978 00:40:19,697 --> 00:40:21,046 ♪ Swing it ♪ 979 00:40:21,674 --> 00:40:26,432 ♪♪ 980 00:40:29,092 --> 00:40:30,224 [CELLPHONE CHIMES] 981 00:40:36,135 --> 00:40:39,401 ♪ You look so good, good, good ♪ 982 00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:42,721 ♪ When you do that swing thing ♪ 983 00:40:43,804 --> 00:40:46,501 ♪ You look so good, good, good ♪ 984 00:40:46,526 --> 00:40:48,438 ♪ Swing it, swing it, swing that thing ♪ 985 00:40:48,463 --> 00:40:50,393 ♪ Swing thing, swing that thing ♪ 986 00:40:50,418 --> 00:40:51,735 ♪ Swing it, swing it, swing that thing ♪ 987 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,206 ♪ You look so good, good, good ♪ 988 00:40:54,231 --> 00:40:55,746 ♪ Swing it, swing it, swing that thing ♪ 989 00:40:55,771 --> 00:40:57,151 ♪ Swing your thing ♪ 990 00:40:59,215 --> 00:41:01,361 ♪ You look so good, good, good ♪ 991 00:41:01,386 --> 00:41:02,698 [LAUGHS] 992 00:41:03,827 --> 00:41:06,206 No F-ing way! 993 00:41:06,657 --> 00:41:10,057 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 68802

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