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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,111 --> 00:00:01,877 Previously, on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,282 I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis 3 00:00:04,285 --> 00:00:05,637 at East Texas Tech. 4 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,587 He said I could audit his course. 5 00:00:07,589 --> 00:00:09,522 Connie, I would like to see you again. 6 00:00:09,524 --> 00:00:11,557 Perhaps we could have dinner sometime. 7 00:00:11,559 --> 00:00:13,693 Yes, we would love that. 8 00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:15,161 We would? 9 00:00:15,163 --> 00:00:17,163 If they get married, we immediately double 10 00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:19,365 the number of smart people in our family. 11 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,606 Hello, Dr. Sturgis. 12 00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:22,702 Hello, Sheldon. 13 00:00:22,704 --> 00:00:25,539 Can you see yourself living here? I can. 14 00:00:30,545 --> 00:00:33,880 Mmm. Good ratio of hot dog chunks to spaghetti. 15 00:00:33,882 --> 00:00:36,684 I've been experimenting. Glad you noticed. Kids! 16 00:00:36,687 --> 00:00:38,754 Wash up for dinner! 17 00:00:38,764 --> 00:00:40,860 Now, who on earth is that? 18 00:00:41,822 --> 00:00:44,322 And don't be picking out all the chunks. 19 00:00:44,325 --> 00:00:45,892 Aw. 20 00:00:50,898 --> 00:00:52,731 Sorry I'm a little late. 21 00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:56,169 My pant leg got stuck in the chain. 22 00:00:56,171 --> 00:00:57,503 Who are you? 23 00:00:57,505 --> 00:00:59,572 I'm John Sturgis. 24 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,241 Sheldon invited me to dinner. 25 00:01:02,243 --> 00:01:03,910 Aha. 26 00:01:03,912 --> 00:01:07,080 Okay. Um, come in, I guess. 27 00:01:07,082 --> 00:01:08,442 Sheldon? 28 00:01:08,445 --> 00:01:09,981 Coming! 29 00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:11,751 This is for you. 30 00:01:11,753 --> 00:01:14,989 It's cheese and summer sausages. 31 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,355 Thank you. 32 00:01:16,357 --> 00:01:19,425 Summer sausage means it doesn't need to be refrigerated. 33 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:20,660 Is that so? 34 00:01:20,662 --> 00:01:21,861 It is. 35 00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:23,629 Okay. Sheldon? 36 00:01:23,631 --> 00:01:25,598 Dr. Sturgis, welcome. 37 00:01:25,601 --> 00:01:26,934 Thank you, Sheldon. 38 00:01:26,937 --> 00:01:29,063 Sheldon, you think you might've let me know 39 00:01:29,066 --> 00:01:30,832 you invited company over for dinner? 40 00:01:30,835 --> 00:01:33,473 I did think about it, but I was afraid you might say no. 41 00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:34,841 Come see my train set. 42 00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:36,109 All right! 43 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:44,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 44 00:01:49,515 --> 00:01:56,351 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 45 00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:02,848 Good Lord. 46 00:02:02,851 --> 00:02:05,071 You mean he just showed up out of nowhere? 47 00:02:05,073 --> 00:02:08,174 Yep. He's out in the garage playing trains with Sheldon. 48 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,143 Why's your hair wet? 49 00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:12,545 If you must know, I was doing my water aerobics, 50 00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,180 and my swimming cap fell off. 51 00:02:14,182 --> 00:02:16,449 This Sturgis fella didn't say a word to you? 52 00:02:16,451 --> 00:02:18,784 If he did, do you think I would have been doing frog kicks 53 00:02:18,786 --> 00:02:20,853 at the YMCA? 54 00:02:20,855 --> 00:02:22,655 You look great. 55 00:02:25,727 --> 00:02:29,328 O gauge trains are definitely the best. 56 00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:32,164 Oh, yes, they are. 57 00:02:33,369 --> 00:02:35,767 Oh, well, what a pleasant surprise. 58 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:37,629 Oh, good. You're here, too. 59 00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:39,132 I am. 60 00:02:39,135 --> 00:02:40,590 Are y'all about ready for dinner? 61 00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:41,774 I am. 62 00:02:41,776 --> 00:02:43,643 Well, then, let's go. 63 00:02:43,645 --> 00:02:45,311 Meemaw, you smell like chlorine. 64 00:02:45,313 --> 00:02:47,656 - Why say it? - Hmm. 65 00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:52,417 You weren't kidding. 66 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,688 Spaghetti and hot dogs is delightful. 67 00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:56,773 Even better 68 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,926 since Mom perfected the chunk ratio. 69 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:01,527 So, Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon tells us 70 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,429 you're a guest professor at the university. 71 00:03:03,431 --> 00:03:04,648 - I am. - Hmm. 72 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,852 Does that mean that you're only here temporarily? 73 00:03:06,855 --> 00:03:09,418 Well, that's the plan for now. 74 00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:13,984 But I could be enticed to stay. 75 00:03:15,031 --> 00:03:17,176 Meemaw, I do believe there was subtext there. 76 00:03:17,178 --> 00:03:18,444 Did you pick up on it? 77 00:03:18,446 --> 00:03:19,679 Yeah. 78 00:03:19,681 --> 00:03:22,081 Was I correct to infer there was subtext there? 79 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:23,182 You were. 80 00:03:23,184 --> 00:03:24,734 Okay, we're all good. 81 00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:28,120 I can't believe they're making me sit and eat 82 00:03:28,122 --> 00:03:29,455 at the kiddie table. 83 00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:30,718 It's better here. 84 00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:31,820 How? 85 00:03:31,823 --> 00:03:33,792 We don't have to pray, eat our vegetables, 86 00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:35,294 and we can curse. 87 00:03:35,296 --> 00:03:37,096 Hmm. Maybe you're right. 88 00:03:37,098 --> 00:03:39,281 Course I am, you ass-face. 89 00:03:41,169 --> 00:03:42,820 Dr. Sturgis, do you think 90 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,604 we're ever going to unify gravity 91 00:03:44,606 --> 00:03:47,176 with the other three fundamental forces? 92 00:03:47,179 --> 00:03:49,921 I have a sticky note on my refrigerator 93 00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:53,254 which reminds me every day to do just that. 94 00:03:53,257 --> 00:03:55,581 When did you decide to focus your research 95 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,816 - on quantum... - Um, Sheldon, I think 96 00:03:56,818 --> 00:03:59,218 you're kind of dominating the conversation. 97 00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:02,088 Why don't you let your meemaw talk to Dr. Sturgis. 98 00:04:02,757 --> 00:04:04,590 Oh, I'm sorry. By all means. 99 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:05,625 Thank you. 100 00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:08,427 - Connie? - Yes, John. 101 00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:12,566 Do you smell like chlorine on purpose? 102 00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:17,000 You sure I can't give you a ride home? 103 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:19,071 I can throw your bike in the back of my pickup truck. 104 00:04:19,073 --> 00:04:22,148 Thank you, no. I-I enjoy the night air. 105 00:04:22,151 --> 00:04:23,183 Plus, 106 00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:24,318 hot dogs and spaghetti 107 00:04:24,321 --> 00:04:26,077 is a highly caloric event 108 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,248 that demands an aerobic effort on my part. 109 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,934 Well, it was a pleasure spending the evening with you. 110 00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,536 We should do it again sometime. 111 00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:34,887 Great. When? 112 00:04:34,889 --> 00:04:35,988 How about tomorrow? 113 00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:38,059 You know what, we'll figure it out. 114 00:04:38,062 --> 00:04:40,459 Come on, let me see you to your Schwinn. 115 00:04:40,461 --> 00:04:41,861 Bye. 116 00:04:41,863 --> 00:04:43,729 Good night. 117 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,198 Well, that was the most stimulating dinner 118 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,833 I've ever had in this house. 119 00:04:47,835 --> 00:04:49,068 Glad you enjoyed it. 120 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:51,337 That man is a true role model. 121 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:53,839 Well, it's nice you finally got a man you can look up to. 122 00:04:53,841 --> 00:04:55,773 Oh, believe me, I know. 123 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,719 You gonna keep it all bottled up, 124 00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:08,888 - or you want to talk about it? - What? 125 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,589 I'm fine. 126 00:05:10,591 --> 00:05:11,791 There's nothing to talk about. 127 00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,893 - You sure? - Yeah. 128 00:05:13,895 --> 00:05:15,661 Sweet dreams. 129 00:05:22,403 --> 00:05:24,704 You know you want to talk about it. 130 00:05:24,706 --> 00:05:26,138 You saw it. 131 00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:28,474 My own son can't even imagine me being a role model? 132 00:05:28,476 --> 00:05:30,142 How am I supposed to be okay with that? 133 00:05:30,144 --> 00:05:32,210 You're a role model for Georgie. 134 00:05:32,213 --> 00:05:33,612 I used to be. 135 00:05:33,615 --> 00:05:35,895 Now he wants to grow up and be Tony Danza. 136 00:05:35,898 --> 00:05:38,217 Did you forget you have a daughter 137 00:05:38,219 --> 00:05:39,652 who would really benefit 138 00:05:39,654 --> 00:05:42,121 from having a good man to look up to? 139 00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:43,889 Oh, dear Lord. 140 00:05:43,891 --> 00:05:45,796 You did forget. 141 00:05:45,799 --> 00:05:47,593 I didn't forget. I just... 142 00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:49,437 I don't know how to spend time with her. 143 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,329 It ain't rocket science, George. 144 00:05:51,332 --> 00:05:52,531 She's a little girl. 145 00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:53,933 Ask her what she wants to do, 146 00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:55,281 and then do it with her. 147 00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:57,737 Oh, yeah. I suppose. 148 00:05:57,739 --> 00:06:00,973 Trust me. She'll be thrilled to spend some time with you. 149 00:06:00,975 --> 00:06:02,408 Okay. 150 00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:04,289 Yeah, I'll give it a try. 151 00:06:06,718 --> 00:06:09,682 Hey, when we do, you know, whatever it is she likes to do, 152 00:06:09,684 --> 00:06:10,950 you're gonna be there, right? 153 00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:12,418 No. 154 00:06:14,288 --> 00:06:16,021 Well, this just got harder. 155 00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:24,764 Meemaw? 156 00:06:24,766 --> 00:06:26,632 Meemaw! 157 00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:28,200 What? 158 00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:29,902 I've been researching things 159 00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:32,004 that you and I can do with Dr. Sturgis. 160 00:06:32,006 --> 00:06:33,156 There's a lecture tonight 161 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,672 at Rice University called 162 00:06:34,675 --> 00:06:36,911 "What's happening at the center of our galaxy." 163 00:06:36,914 --> 00:06:38,411 Let me just stop you right there. 164 00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:40,778 Don't worry. I know what's happening at the center, 165 00:06:40,781 --> 00:06:42,548 but I would never spoil it for you. 166 00:06:42,550 --> 00:06:44,483 Look, I know you're invested 167 00:06:44,485 --> 00:06:46,252 in me and John having a relationship, 168 00:06:46,254 --> 00:06:47,820 and I'm not saying we won't. 169 00:06:47,822 --> 00:06:50,990 But it ain't gonna happen with you always underfoot. 170 00:06:50,992 --> 00:06:52,491 Have I been underfoot? 171 00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:56,934 Honey, in order for grown-ups to get to know each other, 172 00:06:56,937 --> 00:06:59,231 they need to have some alone time. 173 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:02,968 What if I'm around, but I took a vow of silence? 174 00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:04,804 Go home and have your breakfast. 175 00:07:06,073 --> 00:07:08,674 And then she said for grown-ups to get to know each other, 176 00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:10,576 they have to have time alone. 177 00:07:10,578 --> 00:07:12,678 Makes sense. What else? 178 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,415 Apparently my being underfoot isn't conducive to romance. 179 00:07:16,417 --> 00:07:18,200 This is very helpful. 180 00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:19,485 Thank you. 181 00:07:19,487 --> 00:07:21,226 I'm at your service. 182 00:07:26,502 --> 00:07:28,351 Oh, Celeste, why do you always 183 00:07:28,354 --> 00:07:29,804 fall for bad boys? 184 00:07:29,807 --> 00:07:31,007 Hey. 185 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:32,103 Hi, Dad. 186 00:07:32,105 --> 00:07:33,572 What you doing? 187 00:07:33,574 --> 00:07:35,040 Am I in trouble? 188 00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:38,009 No, no. Just-just checking in on you. 189 00:07:38,011 --> 00:07:39,110 Why? 190 00:07:39,112 --> 00:07:42,447 'Cause you're my daughter and I love you. 191 00:07:42,449 --> 00:07:44,015 This is getting weird. 192 00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:46,008 It is. I was just thinking that, uh, 193 00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:47,479 you and me, you know, 194 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:49,342 we don't spend much time together. 195 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,222 You know, we should find something to do, 196 00:07:51,225 --> 00:07:52,682 just-just two of us. 197 00:07:52,685 --> 00:07:54,327 - Like what? - You tell me. 198 00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:56,408 What-what sounds fun? 199 00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:00,198 I'd like to be taken to dinner. 200 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,734 Great. Where? 201 00:08:02,736 --> 00:08:06,271 To the fanciest restaurant in all of Texas. 202 00:08:06,273 --> 00:08:07,505 Which is...? 203 00:08:07,507 --> 00:08:11,109 Red Lobster, where the surf meets the turf. 204 00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:13,479 You got it. 205 00:08:13,482 --> 00:08:14,778 Thanks, Dad. 206 00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:16,982 Mom, you got to take me shopping! 207 00:08:16,984 --> 00:08:19,417 I need a dress! 208 00:08:22,089 --> 00:08:23,755 Yeah? 209 00:08:23,757 --> 00:08:26,038 Connie, this is John Sturgis. 210 00:08:26,041 --> 00:08:27,559 Well, hello, John Sturgis. 211 00:08:27,561 --> 00:08:28,793 How are you? 212 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:31,196 I chipped a tooth on a peach pit this morning, 213 00:08:31,198 --> 00:08:33,531 but otherwise, I'm okay. 214 00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,190 Good. Good to hear it. 215 00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:36,593 Next order of business. 216 00:08:36,596 --> 00:08:39,214 I would like to have dinner with you tonight, 217 00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:40,679 just the two of us. 218 00:08:40,682 --> 00:08:44,242 Oh, well, that sounds nice. 219 00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:45,877 What'd you have in mind? 220 00:08:45,879 --> 00:08:50,815 I'd like to come to your house and cook you a Szechuan feast. 221 00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,317 I'm sorry, a what? 222 00:08:52,319 --> 00:08:53,451 Szechuan. 223 00:08:53,453 --> 00:08:56,569 It's a style of Chinese cooking I learned 224 00:08:56,572 --> 00:08:58,490 when I was traveling through China. 225 00:08:58,492 --> 00:09:01,559 Well, wonderful. I would love that. 226 00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:03,628 Great. Do you have a wok? 227 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,563 I do not. 228 00:09:05,565 --> 00:09:06,731 Not a problem. 229 00:09:06,733 --> 00:09:08,366 I have a travel wok. 230 00:09:09,202 --> 00:09:10,302 Okay. 231 00:09:10,304 --> 00:09:13,571 Uh, so, uh, what do you say about 6:00? 232 00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:14,806 It's a date. 233 00:09:14,808 --> 00:09:15,941 Terrific. 234 00:09:15,943 --> 00:09:19,744 Oh, and, um, let's not mention this to Sheldon 235 00:09:19,746 --> 00:09:22,647 so as to keep him from being underfoot. 236 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,050 Have you been talking to him? 237 00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:27,197 I have. See you later. 238 00:09:33,913 --> 00:09:36,804 Do I really need to get dressed up to go to Red Lobster? 239 00:09:36,807 --> 00:09:38,563 You're getting dressed up for your daughter. 240 00:09:38,565 --> 00:09:41,399 And that's a new shirt, so be sure to ask for a bib. 241 00:09:41,401 --> 00:09:42,634 Oh! 242 00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:48,072 I'm ready. 243 00:09:48,075 --> 00:09:49,541 You're going to dinner wearing that? 244 00:09:49,543 --> 00:09:52,344 I think you mean she looks beautiful. 245 00:09:52,346 --> 00:09:54,846 You look beautiful. 246 00:09:54,848 --> 00:09:56,715 Why thank you, George. 247 00:09:56,717 --> 00:09:58,850 How 'bout we stick with "Dad" tonight? 248 00:09:58,852 --> 00:10:01,010 Okay, but you call me Melissa. 249 00:10:02,656 --> 00:10:04,460 After you, Melissa. 250 00:10:04,463 --> 00:10:06,591 Thanks, George. 251 00:10:28,447 --> 00:10:30,048 Oh, my. 252 00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,815 I know, I look like 253 00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:35,085 a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. 254 00:10:35,088 --> 00:10:37,088 Well, come on in. 255 00:10:42,346 --> 00:10:44,421 Sheldon, come in the kitchen for dinner. 256 00:10:44,424 --> 00:10:46,698 - Can I eat out here? - Why? 257 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,701 Dr. Sturgis is having a dinner date with Meemaw. 258 00:10:49,703 --> 00:10:50,902 I don't want to miss it. 259 00:10:50,904 --> 00:10:52,940 Fine. 260 00:10:54,808 --> 00:10:57,876 During that time, I saw three cars drive by 261 00:10:57,878 --> 00:11:00,627 and a raccoon dragging a slice of pizza. 262 00:11:09,682 --> 00:11:12,116 Uh, table for two. 263 00:11:12,118 --> 00:11:13,851 No problem. 264 00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:18,089 Allow me. 265 00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:20,531 You are allowed. 266 00:11:23,396 --> 00:11:24,528 Thank you. 267 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:27,398 Yes, thank you. 268 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,101 If I may. 269 00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,572 So what do you think? 270 00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:38,109 I think we might be underdressed. 271 00:11:44,784 --> 00:11:48,119 The trick to a successful Szechuan dinner 272 00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:50,020 is the Szechuan pepper. 273 00:11:50,022 --> 00:11:51,594 Okay. 274 00:11:51,597 --> 00:11:53,557 Now, you may notice 275 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,026 your lips and tongue getting numb. 276 00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:58,262 Then why are we eating it? 277 00:11:58,264 --> 00:12:00,531 'Cause it's yummy. 278 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:02,566 Sure. 279 00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:05,002 So, what were you doing wandering around China? 280 00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:09,340 Well, when I'm not doing research or teaching, 281 00:12:09,342 --> 00:12:12,943 I enjoy taking the path less traveled. 282 00:12:12,945 --> 00:12:15,546 I'm guessing it's a bike path. 283 00:12:15,548 --> 00:12:18,048 As a matter of fact, it was. 284 00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:20,751 Everybody in China rides bicycles. 285 00:12:20,753 --> 00:12:22,052 It's fantastic. 286 00:12:22,055 --> 00:12:24,622 - Did you see the Great Wall? - I did. 287 00:12:24,624 --> 00:12:26,273 Interesting fact: 288 00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:28,333 it's filled with the dead bodies 289 00:12:28,336 --> 00:12:30,027 of the people who built it. 290 00:12:30,029 --> 00:12:31,859 You don't say. 291 00:12:31,862 --> 00:12:34,039 Hundreds of thousands of them. 292 00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:35,642 Here, taste. 293 00:12:39,471 --> 00:12:42,172 If it's just the two of us, why can't I eat watching TV? 294 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:44,375 'Cause you're having dinner with your mother 295 00:12:44,377 --> 00:12:46,243 and it's a chance for us to talk. 296 00:12:46,245 --> 00:12:48,813 Sheldon's having dinner and looking out the window. 297 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:51,102 - Want me to have him join us? - No. 298 00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:52,771 Then quit complaining. 299 00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:56,532 So what do you want to talk about? 300 00:12:56,535 --> 00:12:58,354 Um, I don't know. 301 00:12:58,357 --> 00:12:59,757 How's school? 302 00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:02,259 It's school, it's a turd fest. 303 00:13:02,261 --> 00:13:05,262 Charming. 304 00:13:05,264 --> 00:13:06,856 Are you dating anyone? 305 00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:09,333 Nah, nobody up to my standards. 306 00:13:09,335 --> 00:13:11,168 Sure. 307 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:12,903 Can I ask you a question? 308 00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:15,139 Course, you can ask me anything. 309 00:13:15,141 --> 00:13:17,708 Were you pregnant with me when you married Dad? 310 00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:21,846 Um... why would you ask that? 311 00:13:21,848 --> 00:13:23,172 Sheldon said so. 312 00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:24,381 How would Sheldon know? 313 00:13:24,383 --> 00:13:25,391 He did the math. 314 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:26,391 What math? 315 00:13:26,394 --> 00:13:28,319 He said the time between my birthday 316 00:13:28,321 --> 00:13:30,633 and your wedding day was six months. 317 00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:33,536 Um... yeah. 318 00:13:33,539 --> 00:13:36,073 That's because you... 319 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:38,310 were born premature. 320 00:13:38,313 --> 00:13:40,197 I've seen my birth certificate, 321 00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:42,132 it said I weighed nine pounds. 322 00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:44,468 Yes, that's true. 323 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:48,119 You were a big fat preemie. 324 00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:50,696 Let's talk about something else. 325 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:51,774 Why? 326 00:13:51,777 --> 00:13:53,710 'Cause I'd very much like to. 327 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,970 And then Heather B said she didn't want 328 00:13:56,973 --> 00:13:59,171 to play tetherball with Heather M anymore. 329 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,915 Wait. Th-There's two Heathers? 330 00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:01,920 Oh, yeah. 331 00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,180 Which one's which? 332 00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:04,552 Heather B is stuck up. 333 00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:06,345 Heather M used to be stuck up, 334 00:14:06,348 --> 00:14:08,368 but then she got a scoliosis brace. 335 00:14:08,371 --> 00:14:10,227 Maybe she shouldn't be playing tetherball. 336 00:14:10,229 --> 00:14:12,384 That's what Heather B said. 337 00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:15,673 This is delicious, 338 00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:18,869 but you were not kidding about the spice. 339 00:14:18,871 --> 00:14:20,504 I'm about to break a sweat here. 340 00:14:20,506 --> 00:14:22,494 Well, here's something 341 00:14:22,497 --> 00:14:24,263 you might find interesting. 342 00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:27,960 Spicy food is typically found in warmer climates 343 00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:30,047 because it induces sweating, 344 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,538 which in turn, cools people off. 345 00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:35,019 So what does the runny nose do for me? 346 00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:37,688 It allows me to, uh, 347 00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:41,325 gallantly offer you my handkerchief. 348 00:14:41,327 --> 00:14:42,960 You are such a gentleman. 349 00:14:42,962 --> 00:14:44,061 When I was younger, 350 00:14:44,063 --> 00:14:46,463 I read a book on etiquette. 351 00:14:46,465 --> 00:14:47,619 That's how I know 352 00:14:47,622 --> 00:14:49,903 that if I ever have an audience at the Vatican, 353 00:14:49,906 --> 00:14:53,036 I should wear evening attire or a sack coat. 354 00:14:53,039 --> 00:14:55,973 I don't know what a sack coat is, 355 00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:59,777 but I'm sure you'd look handsome in it. 356 00:14:59,779 --> 00:15:01,861 Thank you. 357 00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:07,960 You know, it's a long bike ride at night. 358 00:15:09,288 --> 00:15:11,322 If you want... 359 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:13,857 you're welcome to stay. 360 00:15:13,859 --> 00:15:17,461 No, it's fine, I-I have a headlight on my bicycle. 361 00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,627 Oh, sure, sure. 362 00:15:22,549 --> 00:15:24,515 Although, I hear it might rain. 363 00:15:24,518 --> 00:15:28,706 No worries. I have a pocket poncho. 364 00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:30,518 So you do. 365 00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:33,811 John. 366 00:15:33,813 --> 00:15:36,197 I'm inviting you 367 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,901 to spend the night. 368 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,236 Oh. 369 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,330 No, thank you. 370 00:15:50,296 --> 00:15:52,229 Don't they make babies that are born too soon 371 00:15:52,231 --> 00:15:53,530 stay in the hospital? 372 00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:57,432 Normally, yes, but you were born 373 00:15:57,435 --> 00:16:00,283 with such a great head full of hair 374 00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:02,085 that they sent you home with us. 375 00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:06,076 That's the first thing you've said that makes sense. 376 00:16:07,178 --> 00:16:09,278 I'm glad we had dinner, this was nice. 377 00:16:09,281 --> 00:16:11,882 Yeah, fun stuff. 378 00:16:11,884 --> 00:16:14,643 Well, don't want to miss Who's The Boss. 379 00:16:18,691 --> 00:16:21,058 Lord, forgive me for lying. 380 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,860 I'll tell him the truth when he's 30. Amen. 381 00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:26,463 Your lobster, madam. 382 00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,150 Thank you. 383 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,003 Would you like me to open it for her? 384 00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:34,538 Oh, I got it, thanks. 385 00:16:36,768 --> 00:16:39,777 - You all right? - This thing's freaking me out. 386 00:16:39,779 --> 00:16:41,713 Here, let me help you with that. 387 00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:46,650 Here. Okay. 388 00:16:46,652 --> 00:16:49,086 The trick is not to make eye contact. 389 00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:50,400 Tell him. 390 00:16:50,403 --> 00:16:51,869 Here. 391 00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:55,453 All right, now, we just... snap her off 392 00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:58,161 like that... pop. 393 00:16:58,164 --> 00:17:00,424 Grab this guy here, 394 00:17:00,427 --> 00:17:02,326 and we crack the claw. 395 00:17:02,329 --> 00:17:06,065 And then you take out a little meat... 396 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,234 dunk it in some butter, 397 00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,237 and then you eat it. 398 00:17:12,411 --> 00:17:13,838 Holy moly. 399 00:17:13,841 --> 00:17:15,001 It's good, huh? 400 00:17:15,004 --> 00:17:16,322 Unbelievable. 401 00:17:16,325 --> 00:17:17,838 I'll leave you to it. 402 00:17:19,263 --> 00:17:21,393 No. Sit with me. 403 00:17:23,522 --> 00:17:25,055 Okay. 404 00:17:27,593 --> 00:17:30,794 When I grow up, I'm gonna eat lobster every night. 405 00:17:30,796 --> 00:17:33,730 Well, hon, you better stay in school and get a good education. 406 00:17:33,732 --> 00:17:36,667 I was thinking I'd just marry a rich guy. 407 00:17:36,669 --> 00:17:39,570 Sure, that's a way to go. 408 00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:41,877 Or a guy who works at Red Lobster. 409 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,980 That's another way to go. 410 00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:58,950 You seem quiet. Is everything okay? 411 00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,670 Are you not interested in me? 412 00:18:01,672 --> 00:18:04,187 Of course I am. I'm very interested. 413 00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:06,190 Then how come when I... 414 00:18:06,193 --> 00:18:09,979 I invited you to spend the night, I got rejected? 415 00:18:09,981 --> 00:18:12,014 I did do that, didn't I? 416 00:18:12,016 --> 00:18:14,150 Good Lord, yes. 417 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:15,818 I can explain. 418 00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,153 Please do. 419 00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:20,848 I didn't want you to think that I would think 420 00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:22,491 that you were the sort of woman 421 00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:24,101 who would engage in coitus 422 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,628 simply because I cooked you a Szechuan dinner. 423 00:18:26,631 --> 00:18:28,697 It was better before you explained. 424 00:18:28,699 --> 00:18:32,668 All right, let me try a different tack. 425 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,656 Connie. 426 00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:37,892 Oh, boy. 427 00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:39,763 Would you honor me with an evening 428 00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:42,978 of intimate relations? 429 00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:45,203 Well, that is a different tack. 430 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,369 This is very promising. 431 00:19:07,371 --> 00:19:08,971 What's happening? 432 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:11,640 Dr. Sturgis's bike is still at Meemaw's. 433 00:19:11,643 --> 00:19:12,742 So? 434 00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:15,031 That means he probably is, too. 435 00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:17,412 You need to get a life. 436 00:19:17,415 --> 00:19:19,148 There he is. 437 00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:28,921 Mom, Mom, Mom. 438 00:19:28,924 --> 00:19:30,490 - What's wrong? - What's going on? 439 00:19:30,493 --> 00:19:33,328 Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw had their first sleepover. 440 00:19:33,331 --> 00:19:35,431 It's a big step in their relationship. 441 00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:37,766 I'm going to go congratulate them. 442 00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:40,102 Hey, put on a jacket, it's chilly out. 443 00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:41,578 Will do! 444 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,343 Or try saying he can't go. 445 00:19:43,346 --> 00:19:45,406 Oh, never mind, you can't go! 446 00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:47,465 The last thing I heard was jacket! 447 00:19:47,468 --> 00:19:49,351 Oh. 448 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:54,360 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 449 00:19:55,305 --> 00:20:01,306 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 30447

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