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1
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:04,134
(reporters clamoring)
MAN: Mr. Clarington!
2
00:00:04,168 --> 00:00:05,568
WOMAN:
Mr. Clarington! Mr. Clarington!
3
00:00:05,603 --> 00:00:08,304
What do you have to say
about the steroid allegations?
4
00:00:08,339 --> 00:00:09,660
I look forward
to my day in court.
5
00:00:09,674 --> 00:00:11,241
Until then, I have no comment.
6
00:00:11,275 --> 00:00:14,144
MAN: Uh, what about the report
that you look way too old
7
00:00:14,178 --> 00:00:15,679
to still be in high school?
8
00:00:15,713 --> 00:00:16,680
Hey, hey, hey!
9
00:00:16,714 --> 00:00:18,348
What is your problem?!
10
00:00:18,382 --> 00:00:19,849
A blood test administered
11
00:00:19,884 --> 00:00:22,852
by the Show Choir
Governing Board tested positive
12
00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,821
for performance-enhancing drugs,
13
00:00:24,855 --> 00:00:27,590
stripping Dalton Academy
of their Sectionals title
14
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:30,093
and sending Lima's own
McKinley High School Show Choir
15
00:00:30,127 --> 00:00:34,864
to Regionals and a chance
to repeat as National Champions.
16
00:00:34,899 --> 00:00:39,169
I can't believe it. This is what
they think news is news now?!
17
00:00:39,203 --> 00:00:41,838
Andrea... I can't
take this anymore.
18
00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:45,175
I cannot... take this...
anymore!
19
00:00:45,209 --> 00:00:46,376
I've had it!
20
00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:47,777
I've had enough!
21
00:00:47,812 --> 00:00:50,180
I went to school for this?!
22
00:00:50,214 --> 00:00:52,749
(laughing, sobbing
hysterically)
23
00:00:52,783 --> 00:00:54,751
Well, it looks like
someone's getting a younger,
24
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:57,087
hotter co-anchor.
25
00:00:57,121 --> 00:01:01,024
After the break, a Fort Wayne
squirrel who's also... a doctor?
26
00:01:01,058 --> 00:01:02,558
We'll be right back.
27
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:05,595
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.Com
28
00:01:05,596 --> 00:01:08,398
(cheering and applause)
29
00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:12,202
All right, people, we are back!
30
00:01:12,236 --> 00:01:14,037
First of all,
31
00:01:14,071 --> 00:01:16,372
big props to Sam and Blaine
for all their hard work
32
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:19,709
to make this happen. But...
there's no time to celebrate.
33
00:01:19,744 --> 00:01:22,078
We just lost three weeks of
prep time for Regionals, and
34
00:01:22,113 --> 00:01:23,646
we still have
to raise $400 to pay
35
00:01:23,681 --> 00:01:25,882
for the bus to get to
the competition in Indianapolis.
36
00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,383
It's the Paris of Indiana.
37
00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:28,551
I propose a bake sale.
38
00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:31,254
I mean... it worked last time.
39
00:01:31,288 --> 00:01:33,323
Well, that's because Puck spiked
the cupcakes with Mary Jane.
40
00:01:33,357 --> 00:01:34,324
JOE: I'd be willing
to cut off my hair
41
00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:35,398
to sell it for extra cash.
42
00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:36,326
KITTY: To who?
43
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,228
Jamaican kids
with Rastafarian cancer?
44
00:01:38,262 --> 00:01:40,330
Or as rigging
on a haunted pirate ship?
45
00:01:40,364 --> 00:01:41,898
I could sell more of my semen.
46
00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:44,667
This is silly. I know exactly
how we're gonna get the money.
47
00:01:46,704 --> 00:01:48,071
"The Men of McKinley" calendar.
48
00:01:48,105 --> 00:01:49,239
Let's face it... this is
49
00:01:49,273 --> 00:01:51,241
the cutest crop
of Glee boys we've ever had.
50
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:52,242
MARLEY:
That's great. And it's January,
51
00:01:52,276 --> 00:01:54,177
so it's the perfect time
to sell them.
52
00:01:54,211 --> 00:01:56,613
There are six guys, so each
one can take two months.
53
00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:58,581
I think Blaine should
definitely be December.
54
00:01:58,616 --> 00:02:01,084
You can do a Santa
thing but sexy.
55
00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:02,418
Sexy Claus.
56
00:02:02,453 --> 00:02:04,754
(goofy voice): I'm in as long
as I can take my shirt off.
57
00:02:04,789 --> 00:02:06,790
Wait, why does it have
to be just the men?
58
00:02:06,824 --> 00:02:08,458
Why can't we objectify
the girls, too?
59
00:02:08,492 --> 00:02:09,592
'Cause girls are the ones
that buy stuff.
60
00:02:09,627 --> 00:02:10,794
We're responsible
for the consumer-
61
00:02:10,828 --> 00:02:12,529
driven economy.
Those Twilight books
62
00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:13,863
are poop on paper,
and we've turned them
63
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:17,600
into a billion-dollar industry.
Team Jacob.
64
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:18,701
This could actually work.
65
00:02:18,736 --> 00:02:21,104
Tina... you're in charge.
66
00:02:21,138 --> 00:02:22,972
You can set up the photo shoots.
Everybody else,
67
00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:24,941
pick your months and
work on your concepts.
68
00:02:24,975 --> 00:02:25,975
BRITTANY: Good job, Tina!
69
00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:27,076
(cheers and applause)
70
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:31,281
Hey, what are you doing
after school today? Um...
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00:02:31,315 --> 00:02:33,149
♪ Fondue for Two! Hey! ♪
72
00:02:33,184 --> 00:02:35,652
♪ Fondue for Two,
that's some hot dish ♪
73
00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:37,720
♪ Fondue for Two! ♪
74
00:02:37,755 --> 00:02:39,556
Welcome back to Fondue for Two.
75
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,658
You may know tonight's guest
only as the girl
76
00:02:41,692 --> 00:02:44,460
with the fat mom who ruined
Sectionals for everybody.
77
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:47,297
Please give it up for McKinley's
very own... Marley Rose.
78
00:02:47,331 --> 00:02:48,832
(Brittany claps)
79
00:02:48,866 --> 00:02:51,835
So, Marley, is it true
that you spent six hours
80
00:02:51,869 --> 00:02:53,503
waiting in line to see
The Hunger Games?
81
00:02:53,537 --> 00:02:54,737
I love those books.
82
00:02:54,772 --> 00:02:56,772
So do you think that you
relate to The Hunger Games
83
00:02:56,774 --> 00:02:58,074
because you yourself
are hungry?
84
00:02:58,108 --> 00:02:59,342
(cat meows)
85
00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:05,348
When I was growing up, my mom
said that I was a pet psychic.
86
00:03:05,382 --> 00:03:06,983
That's cool.
So, can you tell me
87
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,651
what Lord Tubbington
is thinking right now?
88
00:03:08,686 --> 00:03:09,485
Yeah.
89
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,187
(snarls)
90
00:03:11,222 --> 00:03:13,656
I think he wants to lose some
weight, and he has an online
91
00:03:13,691 --> 00:03:14,757
gambling addiction.
92
00:03:14,792 --> 00:03:15,992
(imitates buzzer) Wrong.
93
00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:17,327
If you would've told me
that Lord Tubbington
94
00:03:17,361 --> 00:03:19,829
was secretly a slumlord,
I would've believed you.
95
00:03:19,864 --> 00:03:21,764
None of your high-rises
are up to code.
96
00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:23,833
Those families are living in
squalor and they deserve better.
97
00:03:23,868 --> 00:03:25,835
Aah! Oh! This is boiling hot!
98
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:28,338
Let's talk about boys. (Gasps)
99
00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:29,733
Please admit
to my viewing audience
100
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,207
that you are in love with Jake.
101
00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:34,010
I thought so.
102
00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:36,779
If Jake is brave enough to take
off his clothes for Glee's.
103
00:03:36,814 --> 00:03:38,014
Men of McKinley calendar,
104
00:03:38,048 --> 00:03:40,183
don't you think you owe him
the same courtesy?
105
00:03:40,217 --> 00:03:42,018
You mean, take off my clothes?
106
00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:43,887
No. I meant that you...
107
00:03:43,921 --> 00:03:45,889
should be honest
and vulnerable and tell him
108
00:03:45,923 --> 00:03:47,390
exactly how you feel.
109
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,128
(school bell ringing)
Sexy teen imbeciles.
110
00:03:52,162 --> 00:03:54,530
The S.A.T. scores are in,
111
00:03:54,565 --> 00:03:58,434
and you have managed to receive
the highest and lowest scores
112
00:03:58,469 --> 00:04:00,370
ever recorded at McKinley!
113
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:01,704
Yes!
114
00:04:01,739 --> 00:04:03,072
I knew it. Secret genius.
115
00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:07,543
Brittany S. Pierce has
received a near-perfect 2340
116
00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:09,879
on her exam. Wait, what? How?
117
00:04:09,914 --> 00:04:11,581
Clearly, she cheated.
No, I did not cheat.
118
00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:13,216
I swear.
119
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,884
All I did was I filled
in "A" for a while
120
00:04:14,919 --> 00:04:16,386
and then "C" for a
little bit and then "D"
121
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,721
and then I did "A" again and
then I used the dots to draw
122
00:04:18,756 --> 00:04:20,723
a clown and then a penis.
123
00:04:20,758 --> 00:04:23,059
Wait... (sighs)
What were my scores?
124
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,595
You got a 340,
which in clinical trials
125
00:04:25,629 --> 00:04:28,831
is a score routinely
bested by monkeys.
126
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,835
Sam... don't worry, okay?
127
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:35,638
You don't need to go to
college like the rest of us.
128
00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:37,273
You have a really great body.
129
00:04:37,308 --> 00:04:39,342
You could be a personal
trainer. You could...
130
00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:41,010
be a greeter at Abercrombie.
You could be a greeter
131
00:04:41,045 --> 00:04:43,079
at Abercrombie's
corporate headquarters...
132
00:04:43,113 --> 00:04:44,914
Whatever you want to do...
but meanwhile,
133
00:04:44,949 --> 00:04:46,249
my future looks bright.
I'm gonna graduate.
134
00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:48,751
I'll go to Harvard
or "Princetown"
135
00:04:48,786 --> 00:04:51,087
or "MITT" or "Stanford and Son"
136
00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:52,922
or the "University of
California at Charles."
137
00:04:52,957 --> 00:04:55,258
Barkley's House,"
'cause evidently
138
00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:58,294
I'm one of the smartest
people in America.
139
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:01,831
(footsteps approaching)
140
00:05:03,033 --> 00:05:04,167
Your audition was great, Rachel.
141
00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:06,035
I don't need to hear
you read it again.
142
00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:10,306
Look, this film is
my senior thesis,
143
00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:12,608
and I'd like you
to be a part of it.
144
00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:13,609
Any questions?
145
00:05:13,644 --> 00:05:15,878
Your script, Electra...
it's so raw
146
00:05:15,913 --> 00:05:17,680
and personal.
I just was wondering, um...
147
00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:20,616
Come Back to Me, Grandmother:
A Journey into Alzheimer's...
148
00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:23,219
is that you
and-and your grandmother?
149
00:05:23,253 --> 00:05:28,491
The grandmother slipping into
dementia is... an allegory.
150
00:05:28,525 --> 00:05:29,959
Of course. Yeah. Obviously.
151
00:05:29,994 --> 00:05:30,827
Of the end of the world.
152
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:32,128
You would be playing
153
00:05:32,162 --> 00:05:36,799
both me and, in the black-and-white
flashbacks, my grandmother.
154
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,301
Okay.
155
00:05:38,335 --> 00:05:40,303
If you're willing to go
on this adventure with me.
156
00:05:40,337 --> 00:05:41,571
I... I would be honored.
157
00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:42,905
I would.
158
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,307
Great. There is one thing:
159
00:05:44,341 --> 00:05:48,311
You will have to be topless in
the ballroom scene with Titus.
160
00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:49,906
That's not going
to be a problem, is it?
161
00:05:55,519 --> 00:05:58,254
I'm a strong
and confident woman.
162
00:05:58,288 --> 00:06:00,256
I'm the one who asked Brody
to move in.
163
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:02,525
I'm the one who almost made it
out of Agent Provocateur
164
00:06:02,559 --> 00:06:03,993
without giggling.
And let's face it,
165
00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:06,362
my breasts are my prizewinners.
166
00:06:06,397 --> 00:06:08,331
You almost made it out,
but you didn't.
167
00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:09,332
Let's face it.
168
00:06:09,366 --> 00:06:10,833
You're also the girl
who makes Brody
169
00:06:10,868 --> 00:06:12,368
turn the lights off
when you're cuddling.
170
00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:14,337
You have a beautiful body,
but are you really ready
171
00:06:14,371 --> 00:06:16,172
to expose yourself to the world?
172
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,607
That what all great artists do.
173
00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:19,275
They expose themselves.
174
00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:28,017
OLD RACHEL: Expose their
souls, not their flesh.
175
00:06:28,052 --> 00:06:29,952
But it's all part
of the same package.
176
00:06:29,987 --> 00:06:31,687
A-Am I really expected
to be able
177
00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:34,223
to bare my soul if I'm ashamed
of the body that holds it?
178
00:06:34,258 --> 00:06:36,359
I think a little shame
is a good thing.
179
00:06:36,393 --> 00:06:37,693
You're not a porn star,
180
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:39,569
even though your hair
and your makeup makes you
181
00:06:39,596 --> 00:06:41,197
look like one.
(gasps) That's mean.
182
00:06:41,231 --> 00:06:43,633
I'm sorry. But... your hair has
gotten a little out of hand.
183
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:44,967
Point taken.
184
00:06:45,002 --> 00:06:46,536
Well, I guess there's only
one way to resolve this.
185
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:48,071
Sing about it. Thank God.
186
00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:49,172
Hit it.
187
00:06:50,507 --> 00:06:53,242
(Natalie Imbruglia's
"Torn" begins)
188
00:06:56,580 --> 00:07:01,551
♪ I thought I saw a man
brought to life ♪
189
00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:04,587
♪ He was warm, he came around ♪
190
00:07:04,621 --> 00:07:07,990
♪ Like he was dignified ♪
191
00:07:08,025 --> 00:07:11,928
♪ He showed me
what it was to cry ♪
192
00:07:11,962 --> 00:07:16,332
♪ Well, you couldn't be
that man I adored ♪
193
00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:18,334
♪ You don't seem to know ♪
194
00:07:18,368 --> 00:07:19,936
♪ Seem to care ♪
195
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:22,071
♪ What your heart is for ♪
196
00:07:22,106 --> 00:07:25,074
♪ Oh, I don't
know him anymore ♪
197
00:07:25,109 --> 00:07:28,077
♪ There's nothing
where he used to lie ♪
198
00:07:28,112 --> 00:07:31,080
♪ The conversation has run dry ♪
199
00:07:31,115 --> 00:07:33,749
♪ That's what's going on ♪
200
00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:36,252
♪ Nothing's fine, I'm torn ♪
201
00:07:36,286 --> 00:07:38,754
BOTH RACHELS:
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪
202
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:41,257
♪ This is how I feel ♪
203
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:46,095
♪ I'm cold and I am shamed,
lying naked on the floor ♪
204
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:51,100
♪ Illusion never changed
into something real ♪
205
00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:55,872
♪ I'm wide awake and I can see
the perfect sky is torn ♪
206
00:07:55,906 --> 00:07:58,774
♪ You're a little late ♪
207
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:02,011
♪ I'm already torn ♪
208
00:08:07,151 --> 00:08:11,621
♪ So I guess
the fortune-teller's right ♪
209
00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:14,490
♪ I should have seen
just what was there ♪
210
00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:17,126
♪ And not some holy light ♪
211
00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:20,129
♪ But you crawled
beneath my veins and now ♪
212
00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,798
♪ I don't care, I have no luck ♪
213
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:25,801
♪ I don't miss it
all that much ♪
214
00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:28,404
♪ There's just so many things ♪
215
00:08:28,438 --> 00:08:31,240
♪ That I can't touch, I'm torn ♪
216
00:08:31,275 --> 00:08:33,876
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪
217
00:08:33,911 --> 00:08:36,245
♪ This is how I feel ♪
♪ How I feel ♪
218
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,247
♪ I'm cold and I'm ashamed ♪
219
00:08:38,282 --> 00:08:41,317
BOTH RACHELS: ♪ Bound and broken
on the floor ♪
220
00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:43,819
♪ You're a little late ♪
221
00:08:43,854 --> 00:08:46,389
♪ I'm already torn ♪
222
00:08:46,423 --> 00:08:49,158
♪ I'm already torn ♪
223
00:08:49,193 --> 00:08:51,694
♪ I'm torn ♪
224
00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:54,363
♪ I'm torn ♪
225
00:08:54,398 --> 00:08:56,999
♪ Oh, oh...! ♪
226
00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:59,535
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
227
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,939
(Rachels harmonizing):
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
228
00:09:02,973 --> 00:09:05,007
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
229
00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:07,009
♪ Oh, oh...! ♪
230
00:09:07,044 --> 00:09:09,345
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
231
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:13,115
(Rachels harmonizing):
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
232
00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:16,953
♪ I'm already torn. ♪
233
00:09:19,556 --> 00:09:21,891
Rachel... have you made up
your mind yet?
234
00:09:21,925 --> 00:09:23,125
I need to know right away,
235
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,027
so we can get you fitted
for clown shoes
236
00:09:25,062 --> 00:09:27,863
for the "End of Times"
dream sequence.
237
00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,333
I'll do it.
238
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:35,469
(bell ringing) Hey, Blaine.
239
00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:37,904
Will you please go to the mall
with me after school?
240
00:09:37,939 --> 00:09:39,206
I want to go clothes shopping.
Sure.
241
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,874
(Yello's "Oh, Yeah" begins)
242
00:09:40,908 --> 00:09:42,375
Oh, sweet merciful Lord.
243
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,411
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
244
00:09:46,647 --> 00:09:48,648
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
245
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:52,719
♪ Oh, yeah ♪ (girls giggling)
246
00:09:52,753 --> 00:09:54,321
Sam.
247
00:09:56,591 --> 00:09:58,091
What are you doing?
It's January.
248
00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,393
What do you mean?
It's hot out there, you know?
249
00:10:00,428 --> 00:10:02,068
Sun's out, it's, like,
way above freezing.
250
00:10:02,096 --> 00:10:04,931
Are you sure you're not
overcompensating a little?
251
00:10:04,966 --> 00:10:06,399
Overcompensating for what?
252
00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:07,734
Your S.A.T. scores.
253
00:10:07,768 --> 00:10:08,768
We all heard that you tanked.
254
00:10:08,803 --> 00:10:10,270
But don't worry.
There are re-tests.
255
00:10:10,304 --> 00:10:11,404
You know what, dude?
Like, if you
256
00:10:11,439 --> 00:10:12,739
choose to be jealous
of my hard-core
257
00:10:12,773 --> 00:10:13,940
rockin' bod, that's on you.
258
00:10:13,975 --> 00:10:15,909
Uh, for the record,
Blaine has an awesome body
259
00:10:15,943 --> 00:10:17,144
and a perky
and delicious behind
260
00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:18,778
that looks like
it got baked to perfection
261
00:10:18,813 --> 00:10:20,347
by some sort of master chef.
262
00:10:21,115 --> 00:10:22,916
Thanks, Tina.
263
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,317
Sam, I'm just
looking out for you.
264
00:10:24,352 --> 00:10:25,685
I'm trying to be your friend.
Okay, well,
265
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:26,987
then put down the Hatorade
and come
266
00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:28,955
to my seminar this afternoon.
Your seminar?
267
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,551
Yeah... for
the Men of McKinley calendar.
268
00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:32,859
It's a one-hour course
entitled "Modern Centerfold:".
269
00:10:32,894 --> 00:10:34,928
Techniques that Work
for Today's Hot Young Posers."
270
00:10:34,962 --> 00:10:37,030
3:30. Locker room.
271
00:10:37,064 --> 00:10:38,365
No chicks.
272
00:10:41,903 --> 00:10:43,904
Downward dog.
273
00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:47,874
Into the half pigeon.
274
00:10:48,809 --> 00:10:51,444
(Sam groans)
275
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:53,613
Feel it in the buttocks
right there.
276
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:56,216
And now back into
the lotus position.
277
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,717
Relax.
278
00:10:57,752 --> 00:10:59,619
Why are we doing this again?
279
00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:01,288
It's Bro-ga... yoga for bros.
280
00:11:01,322 --> 00:11:04,791
All about getting in the best
possible shape for the calendar.
281
00:11:04,825 --> 00:11:07,460
ARTIE: Well, not everyone in here
looks like they're on the CW.
282
00:11:07,495 --> 00:11:09,729
Some of us are more... PBS.
283
00:11:09,764 --> 00:11:12,732
Does the calendar really need
to be shirtless?
284
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,067
Afraid so, dude.
285
00:11:14,101 --> 00:11:15,168
But don't sweat it,
'cause in no time,
286
00:11:15,203 --> 00:11:16,403
we'll all be centerfold-ready,
287
00:11:16,437 --> 00:11:17,971
thanks to White Chocolate's
Strip Tips.
288
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:19,573
Rule number one...
manscape, all right?
289
00:11:19,607 --> 00:11:21,641
Nobody wants to see
those rando nipple pubes,
290
00:11:21,676 --> 00:11:24,144
or even worse, a back that looks
like Chewbacca's ass.
291
00:11:24,178 --> 00:11:26,513
No offense, Joe. Shave it off!
292
00:11:26,547 --> 00:11:28,648
And who says
you can't pack a little extra?
293
00:11:28,683 --> 00:11:29,816
I like baby socks.
294
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:31,351
Now, just make sure
the sock is clean
295
00:11:31,385 --> 00:11:33,353
so you don't get any
athlete's foot on your junk.
296
00:11:33,387 --> 00:11:34,988
Now let's get
this party started!
297
00:11:35,022 --> 00:11:36,056
Uh!
(Nelly's "Hot in Herre" begins)
298
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,524
♪ With a little bit of ♪
♪ Uh, uh... ♪
299
00:11:37,558 --> 00:11:39,426
♪ And a little bit of ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪
300
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,995
♪ Just a little bit of... ♪
♪ Uh, uh... ♪
301
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:43,663
♪ Just a little bit of ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪
302
00:11:43,698 --> 00:11:46,700
♪ I was like, good gracious,
ass is bodacious ♪
♪ Uh! ♪
303
00:11:46,734 --> 00:11:49,002
♪ Flirtatious, trying
to show faces ♪
♪ Uh ♪
304
00:11:49,036 --> 00:11:51,004
♪ Waiting for the right time to
shoot my steam ♪
♪ You know ♪
305
00:11:51,038 --> 00:11:53,206
♪ Looking for the right time
to flash them ki's, then ♪
306
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:55,275
♪ I'm leaving, please
believing ♪
♪ Oh! ♪
307
00:11:55,309 --> 00:11:57,177
♪ Me and the rest
of my heathens ♪
308
00:11:57,211 --> 00:11:59,846
♪ Check it, got it locked
at the top of the Fo' Seasons ♪
309
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,182
♪ Penthouse, roof top,
birds I feeding ♪
310
00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:03,283
("Centerfold" begins) ♪ Years
go by I'm lookin' through ♪
311
00:12:03,317 --> 00:12:05,885
♪ Na, na, na ♪
♪ A girly magazine ♪
312
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,787
♪ Na, na, na... ♪
♪ And
there's my homeroom angel ♪
313
00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:10,056
♪ Na, na, na ♪
♪ On the pages in between ♪
314
00:12:10,091 --> 00:12:11,524
♪ Na, na ♪
315
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,360
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
♪ So hot ♪
316
00:12:13,394 --> 00:12:15,462
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
♪ Hey...! ♪
317
00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,397
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪
318
00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:19,633
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪
319
00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:21,735
♪ Oh! ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
320
00:12:21,769 --> 00:12:23,703
♪ So hot ♪
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
321
00:12:23,738 --> 00:12:26,139
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪
322
00:12:26,173 --> 00:12:28,408
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪
323
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:29,976
♪ Oh! ♪
♪ Just a little bit of ♪
324
00:12:30,011 --> 00:12:31,244
♪ Uh, uh... ♪
♪ With a little bit of ♪
325
00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,380
♪ Uh, uh ♪
♪ And then they just fall ♪
326
00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:34,714
♪ Why you at the bar if
you ain't popping the bucks? ♪
327
00:12:34,749 --> 00:12:36,383
♪ Come on ♪
♪ What good is all the fame ♪
328
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:37,651
♪ If you ain't
bumping the models? ♪
329
00:12:37,685 --> 00:12:39,386
♪ I see you driving ♪
♪ Sports cars ♪
330
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,321
♪ Ain't hitting the throttle
and I'll be trying to do 100 ♪
331
00:12:41,355 --> 00:12:43,156
♪ 'Cause, baby,
I can't talk it ♪
332
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,224
♪ Warm and fuzzy sweaters ♪
♪ Na, na, na ♪
333
00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:45,492
♪ Too magical to touch ♪
334
00:12:45,526 --> 00:12:47,594
♪ To see her in that negligee ♪
335
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:50,163
♪ Na, na, na ♪
♪ Is really just too much ♪
336
00:12:50,197 --> 00:12:53,233
♪ Na, na ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
337
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,402
♪ So hot ♪
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
338
00:12:55,436 --> 00:12:57,070
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Angel is a centerfold ♪
339
00:12:57,104 --> 00:12:59,506
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪
340
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,007
♪ Oh ♪
♪ It's a little bit of ♪
341
00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:02,842
♪ Uh, uh... ♪
♪ And a sprinkle of that ♪
342
00:13:02,877 --> 00:13:04,744
♪ Uh, uh ♪
♪ And then they just fall out ♪
343
00:13:04,779 --> 00:13:06,413
♪ I like it when you ♪
♪ Uh, uh... ♪
344
00:13:06,447 --> 00:13:07,781
♪ Girl, baby make it ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪
345
00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:09,449
♪ Let it hang all out ♪
♪ Oh ♪
346
00:13:09,483 --> 00:13:11,318
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
♪ So hot ♪
347
00:13:11,352 --> 00:13:13,253
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
♪ Hey ♪
348
00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:15,167
♪ I am getting so hot ♪
♪ Na, na, na-na, na-na ♪
349
00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:17,090
♪ I wanna take my clothes off ♪
♪
Na-na, na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
350
00:13:17,124 --> 00:13:19,259
♪ Oh! ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
351
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:22,095
♪ So hot ♪
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
352
00:13:22,129 --> 00:13:24,264
♪ I am getting so hot ♪
♪ Na, na, na-na, na-na ♪
353
00:13:24,298 --> 00:13:26,299
♪ I wanna take my clothes off ♪
♪
Na-na, na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
354
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,835
♪ Oh! ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here. ♪
355
00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,104
(applause and cheering) Yes!
What?
356
00:13:31,138 --> 00:13:32,872
You guys!
357
00:13:32,907 --> 00:13:34,374
You guys, that was amazing!
358
00:13:34,408 --> 00:13:36,276
We are going
to make so much money!
359
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,444
Yeah! (Cheering)
360
00:13:37,478 --> 00:13:38,845
Yeah! (School bell ringing)
361
00:13:38,879 --> 00:13:40,399
(laughing): Yeah.
That was really good.
362
00:13:46,654 --> 00:13:47,787
Here goes.
363
00:13:47,822 --> 00:13:50,490
Well, well, well, if
it isn't underage,
364
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:53,460
smut-peddling,
non-teacher Finn Hudson.
365
00:13:53,494 --> 00:13:54,961
Not satisfied
with making a mockery
366
00:13:54,995 --> 00:13:56,496
of the American education system
367
00:13:56,530 --> 00:13:58,365
by your mere presence
at this school,
368
00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:00,967
you have besmirched the dignity
of such everyday heroes
369
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:04,704
as this woman with Crohn's disease...
whose name I do not know...
370
00:14:04,739 --> 00:14:07,507
by bringing the dark specter
of pornography
371
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,509
to these hallowed halls.
372
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:13,146
Well, Crohnsey and I are here to
tell you, this will not stand.
373
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:16,383
Sue Sylvester,
you can suck a hot one
374
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,518
because you are a hypocrite.
375
00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:23,156
I beg your pardon!
376
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:24,657
I seem to recall a rumor
377
00:14:24,692 --> 00:14:26,860
about a certain cheerleading
coach at this school
378
00:14:26,894 --> 00:14:28,828
who once took horse estrogen
379
00:14:28,863 --> 00:14:30,530
and posed for Penthouse,
back in the day.
380
00:14:30,564 --> 00:14:32,332
So maybe I can just
track that down,
381
00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:35,235
make a few copies and sell those
to raise money for Regionals.
382
00:14:35,269 --> 00:14:38,071
That's nothing but a rumor.
383
00:14:38,105 --> 00:14:40,073
But if that rumor were true,
384
00:14:40,107 --> 00:14:42,842
my Penthouse centerfold,
so groundbreaking
385
00:14:42,877 --> 00:14:45,078
that it completely
redefined the term "hirsute,"
386
00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:47,847
and gave birth unto these
United States a pose so limber,
387
00:14:47,882 --> 00:14:51,918
they named it The Regal American
Not-So-Bald Spread-Eagle.
388
00:14:51,952 --> 00:14:56,589
I promise you, my friend,
you would never find it.
389
00:14:56,624 --> 00:15:00,026
Well... I guess
we'll see about that.
390
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,428
(laughs)
391
00:15:01,462 --> 00:15:03,663
(school bell ringing)
392
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,441
(clearing his throat)
393
00:15:23,751 --> 00:15:25,552
Good morning.
394
00:15:25,586 --> 00:15:26,920
Hi.
395
00:15:26,954 --> 00:15:28,388
What?
396
00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:31,057
Your boyfriend's bare ass
is on one of my vintage
397
00:15:31,091 --> 00:15:32,258
flea market chairs!
398
00:15:32,293 --> 00:15:33,593
Hey, I'm not ashamed
of my body.
399
00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:35,128
And I wanted to show Rachel
400
00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:37,597
that I support her choice
completely.
401
00:15:37,631 --> 00:15:39,466
Thank you. I was cast
in a student art film,
402
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,468
and I'm going to be doing
a topless scene in it.
403
00:15:41,502 --> 00:15:42,268
No, you're not.
404
00:15:42,303 --> 00:15:43,736
Rachel looks smoking.
405
00:15:43,771 --> 00:15:46,239
Rachel is a serious actress,
Brody.
406
00:15:46,273 --> 00:15:47,440
She doesn't do nudity.
407
00:15:47,475 --> 00:15:49,242
Look, as performers,
that's a question
408
00:15:49,276 --> 00:15:50,944
that we're all
gonna have to face.
409
00:15:50,978 --> 00:15:54,247
If you want to win an Oscar,
you have to show your boobs.
410
00:15:54,281 --> 00:15:59,452
Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly,
Kathy Bates... I don't get it.
411
00:15:59,487 --> 00:16:01,921
A year ago, you were all
plaid skirts, and, "Do you think."
412
00:16:01,956 --> 00:16:03,423
Finn likes me?"
413
00:16:03,457 --> 00:16:06,259
And now, you're Slutty Barbie
asking Misogynist Ken
414
00:16:06,293 --> 00:16:07,260
to move in with you,
doing pornos.
415
00:16:07,294 --> 00:16:08,461
What's happening to you?
416
00:16:08,496 --> 00:16:09,929
I'm growing up, Kurt.
417
00:16:09,964 --> 00:16:11,124
Maybe you should try it, too.
418
00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:12,265
And it's not a porno.
419
00:16:12,299 --> 00:16:13,967
It's a good movie.
I'm gonna do it,
420
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:17,136
with or without your support.
421
00:16:19,707 --> 00:16:21,674
(school bell ringing)
422
00:16:21,709 --> 00:16:24,310
When I get a text
saying, "Emergency."
423
00:16:24,345 --> 00:16:26,880
Meet me in the auditorium,"
I assume that you're on fire,
424
00:16:26,914 --> 00:16:29,349
or being attacked by a
pack of monkeys. I was.
425
00:16:29,383 --> 00:16:33,286
But the monkeys had squirt guns,
and they put the fire out.
426
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,621
That sounded funnier
in my head.
427
00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:38,291
(laughs) Uh, seriously, I...
I wanted to start working
428
00:16:38,325 --> 00:16:40,560
on some song ideas
I had for Regionals.
429
00:16:40,594 --> 00:16:42,695
I kind of have
some redeeming to do.
430
00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:44,964
No, you don't.
Everyone is cool with you now.
431
00:16:44,999 --> 00:16:46,799
No, they aren't.
Okay, they're not.
432
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,801
But don't put too much
pressure on yourself.
433
00:16:48,836 --> 00:16:50,803
That's how things got
messed up last time.
434
00:16:50,838 --> 00:16:53,840
I think I have
the perfect song for us to sing.
435
00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,642
I like this tune.
436
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:57,010
It's super romantic.
437
00:16:57,044 --> 00:16:58,678
Is it?
438
00:17:00,347 --> 00:17:02,549
(Christina Perri's
"A Thousand Years" begins)
439
00:17:04,718 --> 00:17:08,221
♪ The day we met ♪
440
00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:13,560
♪ Frozen I held my breath ♪
441
00:17:13,594 --> 00:17:16,229
♪ Right from the start ♪
442
00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:21,367
♪ I knew that I'd found a home
for my heart ♪
443
00:17:21,402 --> 00:17:23,870
♪ To fall ♪
444
00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:29,609
♪ But watching you stand alone ♪
445
00:17:29,643 --> 00:17:31,911
♪ All of my doubt ♪
446
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:38,117
♪ Suddenly goes away somehow ♪
447
00:17:38,152 --> 00:17:46,152
BOTH: ♪ One step closer ♪
448
00:17:46,727 --> 00:17:51,698
♪ I have died every day
waiting for you ♪
449
00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:54,133
♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪
450
00:17:54,168 --> 00:17:56,369
♪ I have loved you ♪
451
00:17:56,403 --> 00:18:00,540
♪ For a thousand years ♪
452
00:18:00,574 --> 00:18:08,014
♪ I'll love you
for a thousand more ♪
453
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:16,089
♪ Time stands still ♪
454
00:18:16,123 --> 00:18:20,627
♪ Beauty in all she is ♪
455
00:18:20,661 --> 00:18:23,896
BOTH: ♪ Every breath ♪
456
00:18:23,931 --> 00:18:30,236
♪ Every hour has come to this ♪
457
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:37,810
♪ One step closer ♪
458
00:18:37,845 --> 00:18:43,249
♪ I have died every day
waiting for you ♪
459
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:45,752
♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪
460
00:18:45,786 --> 00:18:47,854
♪ I have loved you ♪
461
00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:52,158
♪ For a thousand years ♪
462
00:18:52,192 --> 00:18:53,593
♪ I'll love you for ♪
463
00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:58,264
♪ A thousand more ♪
464
00:18:58,298 --> 00:19:03,770
♪ And all along
I believed I would find you ♪
465
00:19:03,804 --> 00:19:06,139
♪ Time has brought
your heart to me ♪
466
00:19:06,173 --> 00:19:12,979
♪ I have loved you
for a thousand years ♪
467
00:19:13,013 --> 00:19:19,686
♪ I'll love you for
a thousand more ♪
468
00:19:23,157 --> 00:19:27,527
♪ I will love you ♪
469
00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:33,299
♪ A thousand years ♪
470
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:38,137
♪ Mm-mm, mm. ♪
471
00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:40,173
(song ends)
472
00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:50,349
What?
473
00:19:50,384 --> 00:19:52,552
You have something
you want to tell me, I can tell.
474
00:19:52,586 --> 00:19:55,388
I...
475
00:19:57,091 --> 00:19:59,092
I love...
476
00:20:01,195 --> 00:20:05,965
the song. I love the song, but
it's not right for Regionals.
477
00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:18,787
(school bell ringing)
478
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:23,659
What's going on?
479
00:20:28,631 --> 00:20:31,099
Sue Sylvester's coming down
super hard on the calendar.
480
00:20:31,134 --> 00:20:32,601
She's saying it's pornography.
481
00:20:32,635 --> 00:20:34,503
Wait. Isn't she the one
that posed for Playboy?
482
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,772
Penthouse, and I need you
to track it down.
483
00:20:36,806 --> 00:20:38,640
Hold up.
484
00:20:38,675 --> 00:20:41,510
You want me to spend the next
few days carefully paging
485
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,946
through decades and decades
of vintage pornography?
486
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:46,281
You've come to the right place.
487
00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:48,784
Thank you, and the
Men of McKinley thank you.
488
00:20:48,818 --> 00:20:50,619
Finn... about that.
489
00:20:50,653 --> 00:20:52,955
I'm not sure I want to pose
for the calendar.
490
00:20:52,989 --> 00:20:56,291
My body is sort of... broken.
491
00:20:56,326 --> 00:20:59,161
And I'm not really eager
to start showing it off.
492
00:20:59,195 --> 00:21:02,965
Okay, well, uh, we'll
get you in some sweats
493
00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:04,833
and a kick-ass muscle shirt.
494
00:21:04,867 --> 00:21:07,469
Look, I really want to help out,
but I just think a photo of me
495
00:21:07,503 --> 00:21:09,304
is going to end up
being a photo of my chair.
496
00:21:09,339 --> 00:21:11,306
Then forget the chair.
You can lay
497
00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:12,574
on a bed or something and pose
498
00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,009
with, like, a bunch
of sexy pillows.
499
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:16,345
Finn, you're not hearing me.
500
00:21:16,379 --> 00:21:18,347
I don't want
to pose for the calendar.
501
00:21:18,381 --> 00:21:20,048
And that whole pillow scenario
502
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:22,150
you just described
sounds deeply emasculating.
503
00:21:22,185 --> 00:21:24,853
It's not just girls
who have body issues.
504
00:21:24,887 --> 00:21:26,488
Sometimes guys aren't cool
505
00:21:26,522 --> 00:21:28,156
with showing off their bodies,
either.
506
00:21:28,191 --> 00:21:29,491
Then don't.
507
00:21:29,525 --> 00:21:31,593
I-I don't want to
make you do anything
508
00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:32,861
you don't feel
comfortable doing.
509
00:21:32,895 --> 00:21:34,496
Thanks for telling me.
510
00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:36,498
And you know what?
511
00:21:36,532 --> 00:21:39,801
That was really brave of you,
saying no just then.
512
00:21:41,804 --> 00:21:43,872
And I think it's totally cool
513
00:21:43,906 --> 00:21:46,408
that there's a part of yourself
you want to keep private.
514
00:21:46,442 --> 00:21:48,677
(school bell ringing)
515
00:21:48,711 --> 00:21:50,245
I'm thinking about
naming my shoulders.
516
00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:52,247
You know, like
The Situation has his abs?
517
00:21:52,281 --> 00:21:53,715
They could be my
signature thing.
518
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:56,118
One could be Smith
and the other could be Wesson.
519
00:21:56,152 --> 00:21:58,787
You name arms after guns,
not shoulders.
520
00:21:58,821 --> 00:22:00,061
Shoulders are part
of your arms.
521
00:22:00,089 --> 00:22:01,189
No, they aren't.
They're part of your shoulders.
522
00:22:01,224 --> 00:22:02,791
And don't pick a
signature when you know
523
00:22:02,825 --> 00:22:05,060
that my John Hancocks are
clearly better than yours.
524
00:22:05,094 --> 00:22:06,395
No, they're not.
525
00:22:06,429 --> 00:22:08,096
Do I need to humiliate
you right now?
526
00:22:08,131 --> 00:22:09,531
Bring it.
527
00:22:09,565 --> 00:22:11,933
♪ ♪
528
00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:15,737
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
529
00:22:15,772 --> 00:22:16,705
They're on fire.
530
00:22:16,739 --> 00:22:17,606
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
531
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,707
I am a statue.
532
00:22:18,741 --> 00:22:21,109
There's our money-makers.
533
00:22:21,144 --> 00:22:23,211
This is the boys' locker room.
You can't be in here.
534
00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:24,246
We couldn't help ourselves.
535
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,049
Your chick magnets drew us in.
I wanted to talk to you about
536
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:28,784
the concepts for your pictures.
537
00:22:28,818 --> 00:22:29,785
Ryder, you're February and July.
538
00:22:29,819 --> 00:22:32,721
I was thinking heart boxers
and a sexy Uncle Sam thing.
539
00:22:32,755 --> 00:22:33,789
You're going to be
June and October.
540
00:22:33,823 --> 00:22:35,891
June is a beach theme,
and for October
541
00:22:35,925 --> 00:22:38,226
you're just gonna be holding
a "Jake-o'-lantern"
542
00:22:38,261 --> 00:22:39,294
over your naughty bits.
543
00:22:39,328 --> 00:22:41,263
TINA: We're gonna go find
Artie and te him about
544
00:22:41,297 --> 00:22:42,931
his March sexy leprechaun.
545
00:22:46,235 --> 00:22:48,236
I thought Kitty was gonna
jump you right in here.
546
00:22:48,271 --> 00:22:50,072
Dude, you want to know
the weirdest thing?
547
00:22:50,106 --> 00:22:52,941
Mm? If a girl in the
next room is into me,
548
00:22:52,975 --> 00:22:54,242
I can feel it. (Ryder chuckles)
549
00:22:54,277 --> 00:22:55,744
But since I've been
seeing Marley, it's like
550
00:22:55,778 --> 00:22:58,080
there's not another girl
on the planet.
551
00:22:58,114 --> 00:22:59,581
Wow. That is hard core.
552
00:22:59,615 --> 00:23:02,984
Dude, I'm sorry, I try not
to talk about her with you.
553
00:23:03,019 --> 00:23:05,587
It stings sometimes,
but this is serious.
554
00:23:05,621 --> 00:23:06,822
All right,
you're really into her.
555
00:23:06,856 --> 00:23:08,490
Then, the other day, we
were singing this, like,
556
00:23:08,524 --> 00:23:09,758
romantic song together
557
00:23:09,792 --> 00:23:12,427
and then, right at the end,
I thought that...
558
00:23:12,462 --> 00:23:14,930
she was gonna say it to me.
559
00:23:14,964 --> 00:23:16,231
Say what?
560
00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:21,937
Oh! Oh... It.
561
00:23:21,971 --> 00:23:23,939
Wha-What would you have done?
562
00:23:23,973 --> 00:23:25,674
I would have said it back.
563
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,843
I mean, that's the way I feel.
564
00:23:27,877 --> 00:23:29,277
Then you have
to tell her first.
565
00:23:29,312 --> 00:23:31,546
N... I can't do that.
566
00:23:31,581 --> 00:23:33,615
That's... terrifying.
567
00:23:33,649 --> 00:23:35,183
Chicks dig hot guys
who are willing
568
00:23:35,218 --> 00:23:36,485
to get naked for a calendar,
569
00:23:36,519 --> 00:23:38,854
but what they're
really looking for
570
00:23:38,888 --> 00:23:41,056
is a guy who will
get naked emotionally.
571
00:23:41,090 --> 00:23:43,158
(bell ringing)
(piano plays gentle intro)
572
00:23:43,192 --> 00:23:45,193
(Ne-Yo's "Let Me Love You"
begins)
573
00:23:47,430 --> 00:23:51,833
♪ Much as you blame yourself ♪
574
00:23:51,868 --> 00:23:53,335
♪ You can't be blamed ♪
575
00:23:53,369 --> 00:23:57,806
♪ For the way that you feel ♪
576
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,809
♪ Had no example ♪
577
00:24:00,843 --> 00:24:03,044
♪ Of a love that was ♪
578
00:24:03,079 --> 00:24:07,249
♪ Even remotely real ♪
579
00:24:07,283 --> 00:24:10,051
♪ How can you understand ♪
580
00:24:10,086 --> 00:24:15,657
♪ Something that you
never had? ♪
581
00:24:15,691 --> 00:24:17,058
♪ ♪
582
00:24:17,093 --> 00:24:18,426
♪ If you let me ♪
583
00:24:18,461 --> 00:24:20,228
♪ I can help you out ♪
584
00:24:20,263 --> 00:24:25,534
♪ With all of that ♪
585
00:24:25,568 --> 00:24:27,702
♪ Let me love you ♪
586
00:24:27,737 --> 00:24:30,372
♪ And I will love you ♪
587
00:24:30,406 --> 00:24:32,240
♪ Until you learn ♪
588
00:24:32,275 --> 00:24:35,410
♪ To love yourself ♪
589
00:24:35,444 --> 00:24:36,678
♪ Let me love you ♪
590
00:24:36,712 --> 00:24:39,214
♪ A heart of numbness ♪
591
00:24:39,248 --> 00:24:41,449
♪ Gets brought to life ♪
592
00:24:41,484 --> 00:24:44,519
♪ I'll take you there ♪
593
00:24:44,554 --> 00:24:46,388
(musical interlude)
594
00:24:54,397 --> 00:24:56,398
♪ I can see the pain ♪
595
00:24:56,432 --> 00:24:58,233
♪ Behind your eyes ♪
596
00:24:58,267 --> 00:25:03,038
♪ It's been there
for quite a while ♪
597
00:25:03,072 --> 00:25:06,041
♪ I just want to be the one ♪
598
00:25:06,075 --> 00:25:07,542
♪ To remind you ♪
599
00:25:07,577 --> 00:25:11,880
♪ What it is to smile ♪
600
00:25:11,914 --> 00:25:14,416
♪ I would like to show you ♪
601
00:25:14,450 --> 00:25:19,254
♪ What true love can really do ♪
602
00:25:19,288 --> 00:25:21,756
♪ Let me love you ♪
603
00:25:21,791 --> 00:25:23,158
♪ And I will love you ♪
604
00:25:23,192 --> 00:25:25,627
♪ Until you learn ♪
605
00:25:25,661 --> 00:25:28,630
♪ To love yourself ♪
606
00:25:28,664 --> 00:25:29,931
♪ Let me love you ♪
607
00:25:29,966 --> 00:25:31,600
♪ And all your trouble ♪
608
00:25:31,634 --> 00:25:34,069
♪ Don't be afraid ♪
609
00:25:34,103 --> 00:25:36,271
♪ Oh, I can help ♪
610
00:25:36,305 --> 00:25:38,573
♪ Let me love you ♪
611
00:25:38,608 --> 00:25:41,076
♪ A heart of numbness ♪
612
00:25:41,110 --> 00:25:42,344
♪ Is brought to life ♪
613
00:25:42,378 --> 00:25:50,378
♪ I'll take you there ♪
614
00:25:50,519 --> 00:25:52,787
(music swells, then quiets)
615
00:25:56,826 --> 00:25:58,927
♪ Let me love you ♪
616
00:25:58,961 --> 00:26:01,429
♪ And all your trouble ♪
617
00:26:01,464 --> 00:26:03,798
♪ Don't be afraid ♪
618
00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:07,335
♪ Oh, I can help. ♪
619
00:26:10,806 --> 00:26:11,806
(applause, whooping)
620
00:26:11,841 --> 00:26:13,775
FINN: That was awesome, man.
621
00:26:13,809 --> 00:26:15,443
Absolutely a contender
for Regionals.
622
00:26:15,478 --> 00:26:16,611
Who was that song for?
623
00:26:16,646 --> 00:26:18,813
Uh, that was for Marley.
624
00:26:18,848 --> 00:26:22,150
Is there anything else you
wanted to say to her?
625
00:26:22,184 --> 00:26:25,186
Uh, I think the song
pretty much said it.
626
00:26:25,221 --> 00:26:27,222
(applause)
627
00:26:29,825 --> 00:26:32,327
Kurt, the hipster from downstairs
with the curlicue mustache
628
00:26:32,361 --> 00:26:34,863
wants to borrow
your Russian hat.
629
00:26:34,897 --> 00:26:36,031
Oh, my God!
630
00:26:36,065 --> 00:26:37,198
What are you doing here?
631
00:26:37,233 --> 00:26:40,402
Lady Hummel called, begging us
to do an emergency intervention.
632
00:26:40,436 --> 00:26:41,136
On who?
633
00:26:41,170 --> 00:26:42,103
You.
634
00:26:45,863 --> 00:26:47,841
So let me get this straight:
You guys came all the way
635
00:26:47,875 --> 00:26:49,109
to New York just to talk to me
because Kurt called you?
636
00:26:49,143 --> 00:26:50,477
We're also here to shop.
637
00:26:50,511 --> 00:26:52,279
And we're here to
apologize to Quinn
638
00:26:52,313 --> 00:26:55,048
for slapping her across
the face very, very hard.
639
00:26:55,083 --> 00:26:56,783
In theory. We'll just
see if that happens.
640
00:26:56,818 --> 00:26:59,453
Rachel, you cannot
do a nude scene.
641
00:26:59,487 --> 00:27:01,988
It's not a nude scene, it's just
a topless scene. Same thing.
642
00:27:02,023 --> 00:27:04,224
Topless is as nude as anyone
is ever gonna want to see you.
643
00:27:04,258 --> 00:27:05,959
Let's say you do it.
644
00:27:05,993 --> 00:27:07,961
Think about the 2-2-2 rule.
645
00:27:07,995 --> 00:27:09,663
In two weeks,
how are you gonna feel about
646
00:27:09,697 --> 00:27:11,131
the nude scene? You'd
probably feel pretty great.
647
00:27:11,165 --> 00:27:12,132
Yeah.
648
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:14,501
You'll get to feel a nice,
cool breeze on them
649
00:27:14,535 --> 00:27:16,169
skeeter bites,
you'll feel refreshed, even.
650
00:27:16,204 --> 00:27:18,839
Then, how are you gonna feel
about it two months from now?
651
00:27:18,873 --> 00:27:20,340
I don't know.
652
00:27:20,375 --> 00:27:21,341
Nervous?
653
00:27:21,376 --> 00:27:22,476
Worried it may not even be good?
654
00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:24,144
Rachel, it's a student film.
655
00:27:24,178 --> 00:27:25,178
It's not gonna be good.
656
00:27:25,213 --> 00:27:27,080
And two years from now?
657
00:27:27,115 --> 00:27:28,582
How you gonna feel
about it then?
658
00:27:28,616 --> 00:27:29,716
Guilty.
659
00:27:29,751 --> 00:27:32,352
Just... hoping my kids
won't ever see it online.
660
00:27:32,387 --> 00:27:33,720
Oh, they'll see it. Mm-hmm.
661
00:27:33,755 --> 00:27:35,155
And they will
never be the same.
662
00:27:35,189 --> 00:27:36,523
Okay, wait.
663
00:27:36,557 --> 00:27:38,825
Why am... why am I even
taking advice from you, okay?
664
00:27:38,860 --> 00:27:40,661
Didn't you have a sex tape
that leaked online?
665
00:27:40,695 --> 00:27:41,995
Yes, I did.
666
00:27:42,029 --> 00:27:44,531
A sex tape that follows
me around to this very day.
667
00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:46,533
Look my name up
on the Internet right now.
668
00:27:48,469 --> 00:27:51,505
(reading): "Santana Lopez,
nude, lez, boobies, sex tape,
669
00:27:51,539 --> 00:27:53,673
Mexican or Dominican,
question mark."
670
00:27:53,708 --> 00:27:55,509
Booyah. That will exist forever.
671
00:27:55,543 --> 00:27:58,678
But Santana, some women find it
empowering to be naked on film.
672
00:27:58,713 --> 00:28:00,347
Yes, but not in a student film
673
00:28:00,381 --> 00:28:02,849
that is probably about someone's
grandma with Alzheimer's.
674
00:28:02,884 --> 00:28:05,519
Look... we care about you.
675
00:28:05,553 --> 00:28:06,686
And for once, Rachel,
676
00:28:06,721 --> 00:28:09,122
we actually have your
best interests in mind.
677
00:28:09,157 --> 00:28:11,057
Please don't do it.
678
00:28:12,894 --> 00:28:14,895
(Yello's "Oh, Yeah" playing)
679
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:23,370
TINA: Give me sexy liberty.
680
00:28:23,404 --> 00:28:25,472
Give me sexy freedom.
681
00:28:25,506 --> 00:28:27,707
Give me "I want you" sexy.
682
00:28:27,742 --> 00:28:30,744
TINA: All right,
August is up next!
683
00:28:30,778 --> 00:28:32,212
Artie, are you sure
you don't want to pose?
684
00:28:32,246 --> 00:28:34,714
Oh, I'm happy posing with this
bounce-board over here.
685
00:28:34,749 --> 00:28:36,049
TINA: Hey!
686
00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:37,751
Why don't we do August
with a few of the guys?
687
00:28:37,785 --> 00:28:39,386
Blaine, why don't
you jump in with Sam?
688
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:40,320
You're looking
particularly cute today.
689
00:28:40,354 --> 00:28:41,655
I'll do it, too.
690
00:28:41,689 --> 00:28:42,889
No offense, Joe,
but I don't really think
691
00:28:42,924 --> 00:28:44,658
you want to be
in a shot next to me.
692
00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:47,227
My washboards are gonna make you look
like a bloated white Bob Marley.
693
00:28:47,261 --> 00:28:48,728
I'm as God made me, dude.
694
00:28:48,763 --> 00:28:50,397
Look, the reality is that we
probably should have just done
695
00:28:50,431 --> 00:28:52,499
a Sam Evans calendar. Yes, and
every month we could see you
696
00:28:52,533 --> 00:28:54,094
dressed as a different
brand of jerkwad.
697
00:28:54,101 --> 00:28:55,101
Guys, we waited too long!
698
00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:56,069
I lost my pump.
699
00:28:56,103 --> 00:28:57,003
I need five minutes.
700
00:28:57,038 --> 00:28:57,771
(sighs)
701
00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:03,410
You got this. You got this!
702
00:29:03,444 --> 00:29:04,511
You're kind of out of control.
703
00:29:04,545 --> 00:29:05,612
Yeah, well, haters gonna hate.
704
00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:07,447
Will you please stop lifting?
705
00:29:07,482 --> 00:29:08,603
This isn't who you are, Sam.
706
00:29:08,616 --> 00:29:11,418
You're not just some
body-obsessed muscle head.
707
00:29:11,452 --> 00:29:12,486
You don't know what it's like.
708
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,480
You can sing and dance
and you kick butt in school
709
00:29:14,489 --> 00:29:15,589
and you're all charming
and everything,
710
00:29:15,623 --> 00:29:17,257
I have to announce my presence
711
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:18,992
with authority the second
I walk into a room.
712
00:29:19,026 --> 00:29:21,928
People have to notice me,
or else they never will.
713
00:29:21,963 --> 00:29:23,163
People laugh at my impressions
714
00:29:23,164 --> 00:29:24,931
because how I look
already has them on board.
715
00:29:24,966 --> 00:29:26,199
Do you really believe that?
716
00:29:26,234 --> 00:29:27,634
It's just a fact.
717
00:29:30,905 --> 00:29:33,206
If you want to make it in this
world, you have to be special.
718
00:29:33,241 --> 00:29:34,608
But you are special.
719
00:29:34,642 --> 00:29:37,878
Even without your body.
720
00:29:37,912 --> 00:29:39,112
No, I'm not, man.
721
00:29:39,146 --> 00:29:41,281
It's... it's all I have.
722
00:29:41,315 --> 00:29:42,949
I'm exhausted.
723
00:29:42,984 --> 00:29:45,619
Watching what I eat all the
time, my two-a-day workouts...
724
00:29:45,653 --> 00:29:48,288
Let it go. Have a burger
every now and then.
725
00:29:48,322 --> 00:29:50,056
Eat a bag of Cheetos.
726
00:29:50,091 --> 00:29:51,558
Skip your workouts.
727
00:29:51,592 --> 00:29:52,659
Sleep in a little.
728
00:29:52,693 --> 00:29:54,060
Your body isn't going to change.
729
00:29:54,095 --> 00:29:58,632
And even if you have seven percent
body fat, you're gonna see
730
00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:00,834
that all of us are
still gonna love you.
731
00:30:00,868 --> 00:30:02,836
And we're gonna laugh
at your impressions.
732
00:30:04,372 --> 00:30:05,672
(school bell rings)
733
00:30:05,706 --> 00:30:08,308
(whistling)
734
00:30:08,342 --> 00:30:10,644
And what, may I ask, is this?
735
00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:13,013
Turns out it wasn't too hard
to track down, after all.
736
00:30:13,047 --> 00:30:16,516
Well... I'm impressed;
I'm not gonna lie.
737
00:30:16,551 --> 00:30:19,786
I thought I'd purchased
every last issue from eBay.
738
00:30:20,955 --> 00:30:23,924
I'm not ashamed
of this centerfold.
739
00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:28,995
In fact, I feel like taking a
gander at that glorious taco
740
00:30:29,030 --> 00:30:31,498
right now.
741
00:30:31,532 --> 00:30:33,033
You idiot.
742
00:30:33,067 --> 00:30:35,001
You had me skewered.
743
00:30:35,036 --> 00:30:36,870
Why on earth would you
let me open that?
744
00:30:36,904 --> 00:30:41,675
Because now... I have
your confession on tape.
745
00:30:41,709 --> 00:30:43,743
I'm not ashamed
of this centerfold.
746
00:30:43,778 --> 00:30:46,846
In fact, I feel like taking
a gander at that Checkmate.
747
00:30:46,881 --> 00:30:48,882
Glorious taco right now.
748
00:30:51,819 --> 00:30:53,219
(school bell ringing)
749
00:30:56,390 --> 00:30:57,791
You want to see me?
750
00:30:57,825 --> 00:30:59,025
What are you doing here?
751
00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:01,227
Blaine asked me to look
into something for you.
752
00:31:01,262 --> 00:31:03,029
Come on in and have a seat.
753
00:31:03,064 --> 00:31:04,965
This is a very small
sampling of colleges
754
00:31:04,999 --> 00:31:06,466
that don't require S.A.T.
755
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:07,968
or A.C.T. scores.
756
00:31:08,002 --> 00:31:10,136
And they're really
good schools, Sam.
757
00:31:10,171 --> 00:31:11,638
They're schools that
recognize that a test score
758
00:31:11,672 --> 00:31:13,206
isn't always the best measure
of your intelligence.
759
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,207
Or creativity.
760
00:31:14,241 --> 00:31:16,242
And you can always take the
SATs again if you want.
761
00:31:16,277 --> 00:31:17,557
You know, a lot of kids do that.
762
00:31:17,578 --> 00:31:19,898
Yeah, well, let's say I somehow
get into college somewhere.
763
00:31:19,914 --> 00:31:20,880
I still can't afford it.
764
00:31:20,915 --> 00:31:21,881
Yes, you can.
765
00:31:21,916 --> 00:31:23,083
Because even in this economy,
766
00:31:23,117 --> 00:31:24,417
there are hundreds
of scholarships out there.
767
00:31:24,452 --> 00:31:28,054
What you'll need for these is a
personal essay about yourself
768
00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:29,222
and your accomplishments.
769
00:31:29,256 --> 00:31:31,091
Like what? Like my abs
and my fish lips?
770
00:31:31,125 --> 00:31:32,626
Like the Glee Club.
771
00:31:32,660 --> 00:31:34,561
Like Student Council, the swimming...
Synchronized swimming.
772
00:31:34,595 --> 00:31:35,795
You've accomplished a lot more
773
00:31:35,796 --> 00:31:36,963
than you're giving yourself
credit for.
774
00:31:36,998 --> 00:31:40,100
But why don't you take that home
and, um, just think about it.
775
00:31:45,175 --> 00:31:47,176
(bird screeching)
776
00:31:49,045 --> 00:31:51,714
ELECTRA: You are lost.
777
00:31:51,748 --> 00:31:53,282
Is this real?
778
00:31:53,316 --> 00:31:56,952
You've been here before, but...
nothing looks familiar.
779
00:31:56,987 --> 00:32:00,723
And that smell,
you recognize that smell.
780
00:32:00,757 --> 00:32:04,827
And now, you see him: Titus.
781
00:32:06,496 --> 00:32:08,631
You want him.
782
00:32:08,665 --> 00:32:12,668
And deep breath...
drop the robe.
783
00:32:14,271 --> 00:32:16,305
Rachel, drop the robe.
784
00:32:16,339 --> 00:32:18,474
Cut. I'm sorry, can we...
can we just cut?
785
00:32:18,508 --> 00:32:19,642
Only I'm allowed to say cut.
786
00:32:19,676 --> 00:32:20,743
Cut.
787
00:32:20,777 --> 00:32:22,812
I'm sorry, I don't mean
to be a diva or anything,
788
00:32:22,846 --> 00:32:26,015
but, um, there's just... there's
so many people here right now.
789
00:32:26,049 --> 00:32:27,917
Do you think we can...?
They're here for you.
790
00:32:27,951 --> 00:32:29,919
My DP literally
sculpts with light.
791
00:32:29,953 --> 00:32:33,088
Now, he can't do that
without his crew.
792
00:32:33,123 --> 00:32:35,157
He's promised me this
would be sweeping.
793
00:32:35,192 --> 00:32:36,826
Would you like me to tell him
794
00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:38,928
that you don't want it
to be sweeping?
795
00:32:38,962 --> 00:32:42,698
I need all the crew to...
to take off their clothes.
796
00:32:42,732 --> 00:32:45,568
Yeah, it'll help, it'll,
um, you know, just...
797
00:32:45,602 --> 00:32:48,838
distract, and, and, and...
take the attention off of me.
798
00:32:48,872 --> 00:32:51,173
Seriously? Yeah, that
sounds like a great idea.
799
00:32:51,208 --> 00:32:52,675
Everybody, take
your shirts off.
800
00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:54,510
(man whistles)
801
00:32:54,544 --> 00:32:56,612
(Yello's "Oh, Yeah" playing)
802
00:33:03,053 --> 00:33:05,354
Okay, back to one.
803
00:33:05,388 --> 00:33:07,556
Roll sound.
804
00:33:07,591 --> 00:33:10,292
Scene ten, take two.
And action.
805
00:33:10,327 --> 00:33:12,027
(bird screeching)
Okay, you're lost.
806
00:33:12,062 --> 00:33:14,563
Are you awake, is this a dream?
807
00:33:14,598 --> 00:33:21,904
Perhaps a life lived long
ago, and now you see him:
808
00:33:21,938 --> 00:33:23,205
Titus.
809
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,876
You're filled with
a carnal hunger.
810
00:33:26,910 --> 00:33:30,546
You need to be naked now.
811
00:33:30,580 --> 00:33:33,082
And drop the robe.
812
00:33:33,116 --> 00:33:35,484
Rachel, drop the robel.
813
00:33:35,519 --> 00:33:36,585
I'm sorry. Cut.
814
00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:37,553
Stop saying "cut."
815
00:33:37,587 --> 00:33:39,488
I'm sorry; I can't do this.
816
00:33:39,523 --> 00:33:41,090
I respect you and
817
00:33:41,124 --> 00:33:44,994
I respect your movie,
but I just... I'm not ready.
818
00:33:45,028 --> 00:33:47,229
Then you should have told
me that when I asked you.
819
00:33:47,264 --> 00:33:49,231
I was telling you the truth
when I said yes
820
00:33:49,266 --> 00:33:51,667
and I'm, I'm telling you
the truth now.
821
00:33:51,701 --> 00:33:53,569
I think it's okay
for actresses to be naked,
822
00:33:53,603 --> 00:33:57,306
and-and... and maybe someday
I'll be ready, but...
823
00:33:57,340 --> 00:34:02,845
I just realized that... I'm
not ready to be naked now.
824
00:34:02,879 --> 00:34:05,180
Well, then, what you can do now
825
00:34:05,215 --> 00:34:07,349
is get the hell off my
grandmother's dreamscape.
826
00:34:07,384 --> 00:34:10,686
(Sara Bareilles' "Love Song"
begins)
827
00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:12,254
Take five, everyone.
828
00:34:12,289 --> 00:34:14,356
Looks like I will have
to play Grandma.
829
00:34:17,494 --> 00:34:19,929
♪ Head underwater ♪
830
00:34:19,963 --> 00:34:22,197
♪ And they tell me ♪
831
00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:25,301
♪ To breathe easy for a while ♪
832
00:34:25,335 --> 00:34:28,203
♪ The breathing gets harder ♪
833
00:34:28,238 --> 00:34:31,807
♪ Even I know that ♪
834
00:34:32,976 --> 00:34:34,777
♪ Made room for me ♪
835
00:34:34,811 --> 00:34:37,680
♪ It's too soon to see ♪
836
00:34:37,714 --> 00:34:40,783
♪ If I'm happy in your hands ♪
837
00:34:40,817 --> 00:34:43,152
♪ I'm unusually ♪
838
00:34:43,186 --> 00:34:47,323
♪ Hard to hold on to ♪
839
00:34:48,325 --> 00:34:52,628
♪ Convinced me to please you ♪
840
00:34:52,662 --> 00:34:56,632
ALL: ♪ Made me think
that I need this, too ♪
841
00:34:56,666 --> 00:34:59,969
♪ I'm trying to let you ♪
842
00:35:00,003 --> 00:35:01,870
♪ Hear me as I am ♪
843
00:35:01,905 --> 00:35:04,873
♪ I'm not gonna write you
a love song ♪
844
00:35:04,908 --> 00:35:09,678
♪ 'Cause you asked for it,
'cause you need one, you see ♪
845
00:35:09,713 --> 00:35:13,382
♪ I'm not gonna write you
a love song ♪
846
00:35:13,416 --> 00:35:16,719
♪ 'Cause you tell me
it's make or break in this ♪
847
00:35:16,753 --> 00:35:19,154
♪ If you're on your way ♪
848
00:35:19,189 --> 00:35:23,158
♪ I'm not gonna write you
to stay ♪
849
00:35:23,193 --> 00:35:24,994
♪ If all you have is leaving ♪
850
00:35:25,028 --> 00:35:28,564
♪ I'm gonna need a better reason
to write you ♪
851
00:35:28,598 --> 00:35:32,167
♪ A love song today ♪
852
00:35:32,202 --> 00:35:35,337
♪ Promise me ♪
853
00:35:35,372 --> 00:35:39,842
♪ That you'll leave
the light on ♪
854
00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:42,244
♪ 'Cause I believe ♪
855
00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:45,514
♪ There's a way
you can love me ♪
856
00:35:45,548 --> 00:35:47,216
♪ Because I say ♪
857
00:35:47,250 --> 00:35:49,752
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪
858
00:35:49,786 --> 00:35:54,189
♪ 'Cause you asked for it,
'cause you need one ♪
859
00:35:54,224 --> 00:35:57,860
♪ You see, I'm not gonna
write you a love song ♪
860
00:35:57,894 --> 00:36:02,231
♪ 'Cause you tell me
it's make or break in this ♪
861
00:36:02,265 --> 00:36:05,868
ALL: ♪ Is that why you wanted
a love song? ♪
862
00:36:05,902 --> 00:36:07,770
♪ A love song ♪
♪ 'Cause you tell me it's ♪
863
00:36:07,804 --> 00:36:09,605
♪ Make or break in this ♪
864
00:36:09,639 --> 00:36:11,540
♪ If you're on your way ♪
865
00:36:11,574 --> 00:36:13,709
♪ I'm not gonna write you ♪
♪ Write you ♪
866
00:36:13,743 --> 00:36:15,411
♪ To stay ♪
867
00:36:15,445 --> 00:36:17,379
♪ If your heart
is nowhere in it ♪
868
00:36:17,414 --> 00:36:19,615
♪ I don't want it
for a minute, babe ♪
869
00:36:19,649 --> 00:36:21,116
♪ I'll walk the seven seas ♪
870
00:36:21,151 --> 00:36:22,885
♪ Walk the seven seas ♪
♪ When I believe that there's ♪
871
00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:25,888
♪ A reason to write you ♪
♪ Write you ♪
872
00:36:25,922 --> 00:36:28,290
♪ A love song today ♪
873
00:36:28,324 --> 00:36:30,559
SANTANA: ♪ Today ♪
874
00:36:30,593 --> 00:36:31,727
RACHEL: ♪ Hey, today ♪
875
00:36:31,761 --> 00:36:34,630
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪
876
00:36:34,664 --> 00:36:36,465
♪ Yeah ♪
877
00:36:36,499 --> 00:36:37,800
♪ Today ♪
878
00:36:37,834 --> 00:36:41,403
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪
879
00:36:41,438 --> 00:36:44,106
ALL: ♪ Today. ♪
880
00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:45,107
(squeals)
881
00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:47,142
Yay.
882
00:36:47,177 --> 00:36:48,811
Thank you, guys, so much.
883
00:36:48,845 --> 00:36:51,747
It's like my dads say... you
can't make new old friends.
884
00:36:51,781 --> 00:36:52,781
No regrets? None.
885
00:36:52,816 --> 00:36:54,283
But do you guys have to go?
Can you stay
886
00:36:54,317 --> 00:36:55,651
a little bit longer? 'Cause I
would love to buy you dinner.
887
00:36:55,685 --> 00:36:57,252
I'm in. Sure.
888
00:36:57,287 --> 00:36:58,287
Good, okay.
889
00:36:58,321 --> 00:36:59,755
I'm in no rush
to get back to Kentucky.
890
00:36:59,789 --> 00:37:02,291
I think I could get used
to it here in New York.
891
00:37:02,325 --> 00:37:03,759
It's more my speed.
892
00:37:03,793 --> 00:37:04,993
(school bell ringing)
893
00:37:07,030 --> 00:37:08,797
You ready to write that essay?
894
00:37:08,832 --> 00:37:10,599
No, I'm not.
895
00:37:10,633 --> 00:37:13,435
Well, I've been doing a little
research, um, with some folks
896
00:37:13,470 --> 00:37:15,671
that know you
really well, and...
897
00:37:15,705 --> 00:37:19,174
they all seem to think that
you've actually accomplished
898
00:37:19,209 --> 00:37:21,777
quite a bit.
899
00:37:21,811 --> 00:37:23,445
TINA:
Sam saved Sectionals last year
900
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,014
when we were short a member
and he moved back to McKinley.
901
00:37:26,049 --> 00:37:27,950
ARTIE:
He rescued our Nationals trophy.
902
00:37:27,984 --> 00:37:29,952
TINA: And then he saved
Sectionals again this year
903
00:37:29,986 --> 00:37:31,787
when he found out
the Warblers cheated.
904
00:37:31,821 --> 00:37:34,823
Trouty Mouth inspired me
to try my hand at songwriting.
905
00:37:34,858 --> 00:37:36,658
Sam was the first person
in America
906
00:37:36,693 --> 00:37:38,327
to do a Sean Connery impression.
907
00:37:38,361 --> 00:37:42,631
♪ Grouper Mouth... ♪
908
00:37:42,665 --> 00:37:43,699
His impression is what made
909
00:37:43,733 --> 00:37:45,000
Sean Connery's career
really take off.
910
00:37:45,034 --> 00:37:46,635
SANTANA: ♪ Froggy Lips. ♪
911
00:37:46,669 --> 00:37:48,837
MERCEDES: You know, Sam gave me
the courage to follow my dreams
912
00:37:48,872 --> 00:37:51,373
and become a singer,
and without him I probably
913
00:37:51,407 --> 00:37:52,741
would have never moved to L.A.
914
00:37:52,776 --> 00:37:54,476
And let's not forget
when Sam took care
915
00:37:54,511 --> 00:37:57,546
of his entire family
after his dad lost his job.
916
00:37:57,580 --> 00:38:02,751
They were living in a motel,
homeless, and Sam supported them.
917
00:38:02,786 --> 00:38:04,153
I mean, that's pretty amazing.
918
00:38:04,187 --> 00:38:07,823
He's a really
substantial person.
919
00:38:07,857 --> 00:38:11,293
Now, that's... your essay.
920
00:38:12,362 --> 00:38:14,363
(sighs, sniffs)
921
00:38:15,598 --> 00:38:17,566
(quietly, voice breaking):
Thanks... thanks, bro.
922
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,701
Don't mention it.
923
00:38:23,637 --> 00:38:24,700
(school bell ringing)
924
00:38:24,893 --> 00:38:26,994
Hey, Artie.
Oh, I'm sorry, do I need
925
00:38:27,028 --> 00:38:28,295
to take my shirt off
while addressing you?
926
00:38:28,330 --> 00:38:30,998
Listen, um, the bottom line is
that we have two empty months
927
00:38:31,032 --> 00:38:32,833
in this calendar.
We want you to fill them,
928
00:38:32,867 --> 00:38:33,834
and I-I totally understand,
929
00:38:33,868 --> 00:38:35,369
you know, wanting to
keep your shirt on.
930
00:38:35,403 --> 00:38:37,805
You want to be known for more
than just your massive biceps.
931
00:38:37,839 --> 00:38:40,641
Look, it's hard enough
being the only one
932
00:38:40,675 --> 00:38:42,643
in a chair posing
for this calendar.
933
00:38:42,677 --> 00:38:45,045
I don't really want to be the
only one wearing clothes either.
934
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,980
You won't be.
935
00:38:47,015 --> 00:38:48,982
(school bell ringing)
936
00:38:49,017 --> 00:38:50,217
(girls clamoring)
937
00:39:12,707 --> 00:39:14,441
You have such broad shoulders.
938
00:39:14,476 --> 00:39:17,811
If you ever want to tap this,
seriously, just say the word.
939
00:39:21,049 --> 00:39:24,518
So, how much smut money
did you raise?
940
00:39:24,552 --> 00:39:26,186
About 350 bucks.
941
00:39:26,221 --> 00:39:28,856
Another 50 and we've covered
the bus to Regionals.
942
00:39:28,890 --> 00:39:31,258
Well, you're a worthy
adversary, Finn Hudson,
943
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:33,193
and that'll make you
all the more delicious
944
00:39:33,228 --> 00:39:37,064
when I've got you
slowly roasting on a spit,
945
00:39:37,098 --> 00:39:39,400
but, like, literally delicious.
946
00:39:42,604 --> 00:39:44,705
Hey, you don't have
to wait in line.
947
00:39:44,739 --> 00:39:46,907
I actually already
made one out for you.
948
00:39:46,941 --> 00:39:48,275
Thank you.
949
00:39:54,282 --> 00:39:56,283
I love you back.
950
00:40:02,524 --> 00:40:04,491
Ugh! Gross!
951
00:40:04,526 --> 00:40:07,060
Get a room!
952
00:40:07,095 --> 00:40:11,432
Please make it out to:
"My future wife, Becky Jackson."
953
00:40:11,466 --> 00:40:16,570
I wish you'd lose the shirt so
I can drool over that hot bod.
954
00:40:16,604 --> 00:40:18,972
BRITTANY: Well, listen, I
think you both are hot,
955
00:40:19,007 --> 00:40:21,575
topless or not.
And do you know how I know?
956
00:40:21,609 --> 00:40:22,810
'Cause I'm a genius.
ARTIE: You know what?
957
00:40:22,844 --> 00:40:24,244
I'm really excited
about this New Year.
958
00:40:24,279 --> 00:40:26,914
(gasps) Me, too... it's a
new year and a new me.
959
00:40:26,948 --> 00:40:29,116
(Ian Axel's
"This Is the New Year" playing)
960
00:40:34,622 --> 00:40:38,158
♪ Another year
you made a promise ♪
961
00:40:38,193 --> 00:40:42,930
♪ Another chance
to turn it all around ♪
962
00:40:42,964 --> 00:40:46,467
♪ And do not save this
for tomorrow ♪
963
00:40:46,501 --> 00:40:50,170
♪ Embrace the past
and you can live for now ♪
964
00:40:52,140 --> 00:40:56,810
♪ And I will give
the world to you ♪
965
00:41:00,882 --> 00:41:04,318
♪ Speak louder
than the words before you ♪
966
00:41:04,352 --> 00:41:08,956
♪ And give them meaning
no one else has found ♪
967
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:13,327
♪ The role we play
is so important ♪
968
00:41:13,361 --> 00:41:17,030
♪ We are the voices
of the underground ♪
969
00:41:17,065 --> 00:41:19,299
♪ And I ♪
970
00:41:19,334 --> 00:41:22,603
♪ I ♪
♪ Will give the world to you ♪
971
00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:30,978
♪ Say everything
you've always wanted ♪
972
00:41:31,012 --> 00:41:35,048
♪ Be not afraid
of who you really are ♪
973
00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:39,820
♪ 'Cause in the end
we have each other ♪
974
00:41:39,854 --> 00:41:44,491
♪ And that's at least one thing
worth living for ♪
975
00:41:44,526 --> 00:41:45,859
♪ And I ♪
♪ I ♪
976
00:41:45,894 --> 00:41:50,130
♪ Would give the world to you ♪
977
00:41:55,937 --> 00:41:57,671
♪ I pass ♪
978
00:41:57,705 --> 00:42:01,208
♪ It back to you ♪
979
00:42:02,277 --> 00:42:04,244
♪ And I ♪
980
00:42:04,279 --> 00:42:08,582
♪ Will wait for you ♪
981
00:42:09,450 --> 00:42:14,087
♪ 'Cause I would give
the world ♪
982
00:42:14,122 --> 00:42:18,926
♪ And I would give the world ♪
983
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,063
♪ And I would give the world ♪
984
00:42:23,097 --> 00:42:25,232
♪ To you... ♪
985
00:42:25,266 --> 00:42:30,237
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
986
00:42:31,739 --> 00:42:34,374
♪ I would give ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
987
00:42:34,409 --> 00:42:37,678
♪ The world to you ♪
988
00:42:39,647 --> 00:42:41,915
♪ Ooh... ♪
989
00:42:41,950 --> 00:42:43,383
♪ This is the New Year ♪
990
00:42:43,418 --> 00:42:46,587
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ This is the New Year ♪
991
00:42:46,621 --> 00:42:49,122
♪ A new beginning ♪
992
00:42:49,157 --> 00:42:51,091
♪ You made a promise ♪
♪ You made a promise ♪
993
00:42:51,125 --> 00:42:53,560
♪ You are the brightest ♪
994
00:42:53,595 --> 00:42:54,728
♪ We are the voices ♪
995
00:42:54,762 --> 00:42:55,896
♪ We are ♪
996
00:42:55,930 --> 00:42:57,898
♪ Oh-ho ♪
♪ This is the New Year ♪
997
00:42:57,932 --> 00:43:00,934
♪ We are the voices ♪
998
00:43:00,969 --> 00:43:02,235
♪ This is the New Year ♪
999
00:43:02,270 --> 00:43:03,637
♪ Ooh... ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
1000
00:43:03,671 --> 00:43:05,606
♪ A new beginning ♪
1001
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,940
♪ You made a promise ♪
1002
00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:10,410
♪ We are the voices ♪
1003
00:43:10,445 --> 00:43:12,079
♪ This is the New Year. ♪
1004
00:43:12,104 --> 00:43:20,340
Sync & corrections by No1
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