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1
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Remember last year's
Fourth of July barbecue?
2
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,834
There's Bobby lighting fireworks.
3
00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:07,458
There's Bobby on fire.
4
00:00:07,792 --> 00:00:09,959
There's you laughing at Bobby on fire.
5
00:00:10,041 --> 00:00:11,875
I love that picture of me.
6
00:00:11,959 --> 00:00:14,667
These pictures
skip from Labour Day to New Year's.
7
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,458
How did we miss Thanksgiving?
8
00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:20,291
Remember,
our schedules got all mixed up?
9
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:23,750
We all went away, and none of us
really knew when we were coming back.
10
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:27,000
Guess what?
Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving.
11
00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:30,792
Or we celebrate Thanksgiving
in the fall.
12
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:32,500
What if we're not around next fall?
13
00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:35,166
What if a new group comes in
and replaces us?
14
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:37,917
Everybody's gonna be like, "What
happened to the Cul-De-Sac Crew?
15
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,333
"I miss them.
16
00:00:39,417 --> 00:00:41,250
"Who are these new people?
They're not so good."
17
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,542
No.
18
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:51,542
Okay, guys, I have an announcement.
19
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:53,458
And no, Andy, for the last time,
20
00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:55,083
we're not having
duelling slumber parties.
21
00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:58,000
{\an8}Damn! I'm never gonna
get to do a panty raid.
22
00:00:58,083 --> 00:00:59,125
{\an8}Dream bigger, dude.
23
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:02,125
{\an8}Look, Thanksgiving is
my favourite holiday
24
00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:05,583
{\an8}because I get to tell the people I love
how much I appreciate them.
25
00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:07,500
{\an8}Since we missed last year,
26
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,083
{\an8}I've decided
that tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
27
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:13,875
{\an8}As long as we're making things up,
I won't be able to attend.
28
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,834
{\an8}I'm driving to Georgia
to adopt a baby unicorn.
29
00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:19,125
{\an8}I don't wanna celebrate Fakesgiving.
30
00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:20,542
{\an8}We're not calling it that.
31
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,875
{\an8}Everyone's calling it that.
32
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,208
{\an8}Yeah, besides, Jules,
I have to work tomorrow.
33
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,375
{\an8}Thanksgiving is always on Thursday.
34
00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:28,041
{\an8}You should probably
take Friday off, too.
35
00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:29,542
{\an8}Lot of fake shopping sales.
36
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:32,291
{\an8}Sorry, J-Bird, tomorrow's
Nickel Taco at Nickel's Tacos.
37
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:36,125
{\an8}Not to be confused with Nickel Taco,
which sells tacos every day for a nickel.
38
00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:37,875
{\an8}But they're just not as good.
39
00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:42,750
{\an8}Listen, hillbilly, you and everyone else
here are coming to Jules' Thanksgiving.
40
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,875
{\an8}You might be brave enough
to say no to her,
41
00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,375
{\an8}are you brave enough to say no to me?
42
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,458
{\an8}Go ahead and say something, jelly.
I dare you.
43
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,750
{\an8}Damn, Torres.
44
00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:56,375
{\an8}If you were a dude,
I'd be super turned on right now.
45
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:57,917
I would wear you out.
46
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:01,875
Nanny text. I wonder what Stan did now.
47
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,834
Your son tagged my garage?
48
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,834
- That's some good handwriting.
- Right?
49
00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:11,500
{\an8}Relax. I buy him washable paint.
50
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:13,333
{\an8}Why would you buy him any paint?
51
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:14,875
{\an8}The kid's totally out of control.
52
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,959
{\an8}Please! Kids get into trouble.
53
00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:18,333
{\an8}That's what they do.
54
00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:20,041
{\an8}He has so much spirit.
55
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,291
{\an8}She makes excuses for Stan
when she should be punishing him.
56
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:25,917
{\an8}Tell her, she's being a bad mom.
57
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,959
{\an8}No, no, no, you do not wanna go there.
58
00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:30,834
{\an8}Telling a woman she's a bad mom
59
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,417
{\an8}is, like, the most offensive thing
you can say to her.
60
00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:35,959
{\an8}I was at the zoo in 1994.
61
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:39,083
{\an8}I gave Travis two ice cream cones.
62
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:42,750
{\an8}Then this woman from Omaha
decides to make a comment about it.
63
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,792
Next thing you know,
I'm getting escorted out of the park
64
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,166
with a chunk of hair in my hand.
65
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,000
Hey, I heard you guys
are having a Fakesgiving.
66
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,583
No one's calling it that.
67
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:52,792
Everyone is.
68
00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:55,166
Well, you are welcome to join us.
69
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,500
{\an8}Thanks, but I'm scheduled
to perform aneurysm surgery.
70
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,792
{\an8}If you don't catch it quick...
71
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,458
For a brain surgeon,
that guy drinks a lot of beer
72
00:03:05,542 --> 00:03:06,917
when he's not brain-surgeoning.
73
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,709
Hey, I've set my clock to count down
to our wedding.
74
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,333
We only have four months left.
75
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:13,875
Be more insane.
76
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:16,125
And guess who is crushing it
at writing her vows?
77
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:19,542
I want my vows
to be just crazy romantic.
78
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:23,333
All Bobby said was,
"You're awesome. Nice hoots."
79
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:24,834
And then he motor-boated me.
80
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:28,834
You better bring your "A" game
81
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:32,333
because my vows are so good,
they'll blow you away.
82
00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:34,125
You haven't written your vows,
have you?
83
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:37,375
Not a word, but Grayson
needs all the time he can get.
84
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,583
You know, he's not great
at expressing his feelings.
85
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:42,875
This box shows more feelings
than he does. Look.
86
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,750
This box is sad.
87
00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:53,166
How did Stan even get down here?
88
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:56,208
Oh, no. He was asking me a lot
of questions about the bus schedule.
89
00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:57,583
Ladies.
90
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:01,959
Well, if it isn't my competition
for this year's mayoral race.
91
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:03,583
You're really running for mayor?
92
00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:05,834
It's no big deal.
It took five minutes to sign up,
93
00:04:05,917 --> 00:04:09,583
and 19 years in the business world
to prepare. Excuse me.
94
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,375
I'll see you at the pizza toss, chump.
95
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,125
See you at the what-what?
96
00:04:16,208 --> 00:04:20,166
Some dumb publicity stunt
at an Italian restaurant.
97
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,667
They get all the candidates to gather
98
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,750
and they toss pizzas
for the photographers.
99
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:25,041
Oh, my God, Andy.
100
00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:27,166
You have to toss
the crap out of that pizza.
101
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,959
One bad photo op can ruin a campaign.
102
00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:35,375
Look. When we hear stuff about taxes
and schools, we just tune out.
103
00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:39,333
All we ever remember about candidates
is who traded sex for crystal meth,
104
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:40,709
who shot and ate a dolphin
105
00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:43,792
and who looked like a moron
with pizza dough on his face.
106
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,583
Come on.
107
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:49,834
I forgot to wash the gravy boat out
from last year.
108
00:04:49,917 --> 00:04:52,417
No worries. It's easier to peel off
when it hardens anyway.
109
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:58,083
Wow, that is both disgusting
and awesome all at the same time.
110
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,166
So what did Ellie want?
111
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,250
Come on. That whole getting in
our faces, yelling at us to support you.
112
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,959
That's a classic butter-up.
113
00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:07,709
What are you talking about?
114
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,083
It's when you do something
for someone,
115
00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:10,792
when you want that someone
to do something for you.
116
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,542
I did it when we were married
all the time.
117
00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:14,291
Remember when I wanted that pool?
118
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:17,125
I told you I'd never cheat on you again
and how much I loved you,
119
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,959
and I gave you foot rubs and what not.
120
00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:21,875
Then, I asked you for a pool, and, bam!
I got a pool.
121
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:24,959
And two months later,
you banged the pool guy's wife in it,
122
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,750
and I learned the meaning of irony.
123
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,250
You're welcome.
124
00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:30,083
Ellie's my friend.
125
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:32,750
There's no strings attached.
She just wants me to be happy.
126
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:36,458
Big Carl.
127
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:38,750
Don't ever leave me, buddy.
128
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:40,959
You talk to him a lot?
129
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,834
Only after you go to bed.
130
00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:46,417
Hey, slick.
How you coming with those vows?
131
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,750
Here's a little bit.
132
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,959
For better or worse
133
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:52,041
For the rest of my life
134
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,500
Till death do us part
135
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,792
Gonna make you my wife
136
00:05:56,875 --> 00:06:00,291
'Cause you're made for me
137
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:02,959
It's a good start. Whatever.
138
00:06:03,041 --> 00:06:05,500
You know what would make tomorrow
extra special?
139
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,875
If Grayson
got to hear your vows at dinner.
140
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:09,291
What?
141
00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:13,291
I showed you mine, you show me yours.
Classic schoolyard rules, huh?
142
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,125
I can't wait to say them.
143
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:19,125
Why would you do that?
144
00:06:19,208 --> 00:06:20,208
For fun.
145
00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,333
I can't believe
you brought that box home.
146
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:28,041
God, writing vows is really hard.
147
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,500
It's terrible.
148
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:32,667
Grayson, there are
so many great things about you.
149
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,750
For instance,
I've never seen you hit a child.
150
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:40,834
Wow. All right.
I'd help you with this romantic stuff,
151
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:44,208
but this here,
jet-black cave full of bats.
152
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:45,959
You'll figure it out, sweetie.
153
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:49,458
Can I ask you a little favour?
154
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:55,917
I was wondering, do you think Stan
can be the ring bearer at your wedding?
155
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,834
It would mean so much to me
to have him there.
156
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:01,583
Plus, he'd look so cute in his little tux.
157
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,083
He would.
158
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:06,458
Hey, E-Biscuit, Stan's outside
trying to lasso a puppy.
159
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:09,834
He is getting good with that
extension cord. He's an athlete.
160
00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:13,792
Go ahead.
161
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:17,709
That bitch just buttered me up!
162
00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:21,083
Hey, y'all.
163
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:23,667
Happy Thanksgiving.
164
00:07:24,166 --> 00:07:25,208
Fakesgiving.
165
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,834
Shush it.
166
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:30,000
Okay, Laurie, I have to ask you,
because you just never know,
167
00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:32,959
is that a costume or a real outfit?
168
00:07:33,041 --> 00:07:36,291
It's a costume. Did you guys
really think this was my outfit?
169
00:07:36,792 --> 00:07:40,000
Besides Thanksgiving,
I also missed Halloween last year
170
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:42,959
because I was getting that tattoo
removed from my upper left drumstick.
171
00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:45,583
And then on Christmas,
I passed out on the booze-cruise.
172
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,208
It turned out to be a cruise-cruise,
and I woke up in Belize.
173
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:52,542
So, today, I'm gonna represent
all three holidays that I missed.
174
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,417
Happy Thanks-mas-ween, everyone.
175
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,709
Well done.
176
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:59,083
You took something completely absurd
and multiplied it by three.
177
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:02,000
Okay, I've made a list of jobs
for everyone.
178
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:06,041
Bobby, your job is to do exactly
what you normally do on Thanksgiving.
179
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,709
Drink beer and watch football?
180
00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:09,125
Don't let me down.
181
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,583
Grayson, Andy,
you go buy the centrepiece.
182
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:12,959
Go.
183
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,750
Okay, Ms Krazy Kakes,
you're gonna bake pies.
184
00:08:16,417 --> 00:08:19,417
And, Travis,
you're going to write my wedding vows.
185
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,667
What?
186
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,000
You got me into this mess.
And besides, you're so creative.
187
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,041
That's why I work so hard
to pay your way through college.
188
00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,375
Quality guilt trip.
189
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:30,667
I'll see what I can do.
190
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:34,500
Now, Ellie, Stan can be the ring bearer
if he can prove he can do it.
191
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:35,834
How?
192
00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:37,792
I'll think of something.
193
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,834
Thinking equals drinking.
194
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:42,542
Sure, sure. Sorry.
195
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,083
There's no football on this time of year,
196
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:52,166
so I got a tape of a game from 1949
that I've never seen.
197
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,792
Working on Mom's wedding vows.
198
00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:58,166
You didn't exactly inherit
the romantic gene from your pops.
199
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:00,041
I heard about your wedding vows,
200
00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:02,125
and I don't think
Mom wants to motorboat Grayson.
201
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,000
Hey, the crowd loved it.
202
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,625
Well, if you're so good at it,
203
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:07,625
why don't you
say something romantic to that beer?
204
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:13,291
Beer, other drinks might get me drunk,
205
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,875
but only you intoxicate me.
206
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:20,083
I wish I felt that way about anything.
207
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,583
Is that quarterback smoking?
208
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,792
Back then football was hardcore.
209
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,417
Where are the hot, black guys?
210
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,500
I'm so glad
I'm wasting my time doing this
211
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:35,667
instead of learning
how to toss a pizza in five hours.
212
00:09:36,792 --> 00:09:39,375
Dude, tossing 'za is easy.
213
00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:43,375
When Vivian left me,
I watched a lot of "how-to" videos.
214
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,709
I can also tile a bathroom, make soap,
stone-wash my own jeans,
215
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:48,792
and I can squeeze a pressure point
on your hand
216
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,417
that will make your whole body relax.
217
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,166
Great, because I am freaked out.
218
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,458
Good God, that's amazing.
219
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,542
Wow, it's like my legs are just gone.
220
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,458
Say hello to the Gauntlet.
221
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,875
If Stan can walk down this aisle
without getting distracted,
222
00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:06,542
he can be the ring bearer.
223
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:08,291
My boy is gonna crush this.
224
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:13,625
The only way Devil Baby
is gonna be in our wedding,
225
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:15,959
is if we Hannibal Lecter him to a dolly.
226
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,375
I don't want him there
raising hell either.
227
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,875
I rigged this so he cannot win.
228
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,000
For Stan, this is a walk of temptation.
229
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,959
I got a table full of markers,
230
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,583
a hammer next to a jar of shells,
231
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,750
and I borrowed the Flanagans' puppy.
232
00:10:31,834 --> 00:10:35,125
Is the puppy a distraction
because he wants to play with it or...
233
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:37,709
Who cares?
234
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:43,458
Stan, come to Mommy.
235
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,125
Permanent markers.
236
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:52,959
Stan, focus on me. You, me. Come on.
237
00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:56,792
Stan, there's a hammer. Go nuts.
Smash anything you want!
238
00:10:58,583 --> 00:10:59,625
Don't listen to her.
239
00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:01,959
Ignore her. She's a witch.
240
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,166
He's gonna make it!
241
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,250
Not if I can help it. Rice!
242
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,917
There you go, yeah. Go for the eyes!
243
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,166
I am!
244
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:13,834
Ignore it. Good job!
245
00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:15,750
He's gonna be your ring bearer!
246
00:11:19,291 --> 00:11:22,417
So, guys, I really appreciate you
helping me with these wedding vows.
247
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,542
How about something along the lines of,
248
00:11:24,625 --> 00:11:29,750
"I cannot wait to share one life,
one home, one consciousness."
249
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:30,834
Stinks.
250
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:33,792
Vows need to be heartfelt, Trav.
251
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:35,041
Like, "Grayson,
252
00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:37,875
"you're so hot that
253
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:41,583
"I don't have to pretend
that you're Matt Damon when we do it.
254
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,750
"I just pretend that he's watching."
255
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,166
I got it.
256
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,000
"Grayson, you are mountain-brewed
with the choicest of hops."
257
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,625
Can one of you say something
that's not about beer
258
00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:53,875
and not about
having sex with Matt Damon?
259
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:06,750
Pilsner.
260
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:09,375
You guys are both less than zero help.
261
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:14,375
Okay, I just mashed together
a bunch of Stan's Play-Doh
262
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,125
'cause the consistency is like pizza.
263
00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:17,792
Wash your hands after this.
264
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,875
Some of that
might've been in Stan's butt.
265
00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:21,125
Noted.
266
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,250
Tossing is all about confidence.
267
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:27,041
There is no pizza. It's just you.
268
00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:30,583
Give her a whirl.
269
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,750
Here we go.
270
00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:35,834
You know, I'm not built for this.
271
00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:38,959
My hands are like five D batteries
taped to a bagel.
272
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:43,208
No, no, no. Look, look, you're fine.
Just stop being a wuss. You got this.
273
00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:45,375
And I'm never
gonna get to be the mayor.
274
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,542
Why is everybody so down?
275
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:56,834
Bobby, you're not even watching
your old football game.
276
00:12:56,917 --> 00:13:01,500
Those damn leather helmets, man.
I mean, a guy got hit and never got up.
277
00:13:01,583 --> 00:13:03,083
I saw a man die.
278
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,959
All right.
I know what will cheer everyone up.
279
00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:08,417
Let's drink a bunch of wine.
280
00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:10,417
Yeah, all right.
281
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:16,792
Hand me the glass.
282
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:21,834
No!
283
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:35,250
Overreaction in three, two, one...
284
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,333
Your son
just killed one of my best friends!
285
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,750
- Called it.
- Called it.
286
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,166
It's not that big a deal.
I'll buy you a new one.
287
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,750
Damn it, Ellie. Discipline your son.
288
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:47,583
That's him being out of control,
and it's your fault for being a bad mom.
289
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:49,291
Oh, no, no, no. No, no.
290
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,709
Wow! Okay. Take backs?
291
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:55,333
Screw you, and I'm out of here.
292
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:00,834
This is the worst Thanksgiving ever.
293
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,125
Well, that's because
it's not Thanksgiving.
294
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:04,792
Shut your pie-hole.
295
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:11,333
Great news, my patient died!
And I brought wine!
296
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,792
Those are all for you?
297
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,041
This is how much Big Carl used to hold.
298
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:20,583
That's not the same.
299
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,834
I said the meanest thing to Ellie.
300
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:25,083
Don't be so hard on yourself.
301
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:29,583
You're kind, you're sweet,
you've got a tush I can set my watch to.
302
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,959
It was weird, but...
303
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:36,500
I need to apologise to Ellie,
and I want you to come with me.
304
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,000
Score.
305
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:42,542
Dad, I thought
you could use a cold one.
306
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:46,709
Laurie, I didn't know what to get you
so here's $46.
307
00:14:46,792 --> 00:14:47,875
This feels like $43.
308
00:14:49,417 --> 00:14:51,125
I'm smelling a butter-up.
309
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,417
I'm sorry I blew up about the vows.
Please come back and help.
310
00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,000
Successfully buttered.
311
00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,083
I was right. This is $43.
312
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:01,041
It's a weird, scary talent.
313
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:09,792
You know, they say the saddest
holidays are the ones spent alone.
314
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:13,667
But alone on a fake holiday?
That seems worse.
315
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:17,709
You are going to miss that pizza toss.
Don't you want to be mayor?
316
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,583
God, why do you care about this
so much?
317
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:22,667
You and I gotta be a team now.
318
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,834
Jules and Ellie, they're already a team.
319
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:28,166
If we don't have each other's backs,
they're just gonna keep bulldozing us
320
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,709
into doing a bunch of stuff
that we don't want to do.
321
00:15:30,792 --> 00:15:32,917
Today it was a fake holiday.
322
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,458
What's it gonna be tomorrow?
323
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,583
They'll make us get Italian food
when we want Chinese.
324
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,834
Well, that'll be okay,
I'll get a nice gnocchi.
325
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,333
No! You want Chinese food.
326
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,208
I do want Chinese food.
327
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,417
What do you say? Are we a team?
328
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:48,875
I will stand with you.
329
00:15:48,959 --> 00:15:52,125
Great, now let's go sling some dough.
330
00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:55,667
- Please don't hold my hand.
- Sorry.
331
00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:58,291
Thanks for coming with me.
332
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,083
Sure. But why am I here?
333
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:04,291
Well, I want Ellie
to use up her mad on you.
334
00:16:06,083 --> 00:16:07,291
Look, Tom's here.
335
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:08,875
With muddy shoes!
336
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:11,542
Hey.
337
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:13,750
That's all, buddy.
338
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,375
Am I really a bad mom?
339
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,959
Sweetie.
340
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,542
No shoes in the house.
341
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:21,834
Yeah.
342
00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:27,458
Now I'm 3-feet tall.
343
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:36,208
I like that box's concept,
but it's like a burp coffin in there.
344
00:16:36,709 --> 00:16:38,041
We've been at this for an hour.
345
00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:39,375
We've got nothing.
346
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:40,792
I'm hungry.
347
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:44,417
Let's go to Ellie and Andy's.
People with kids have the best snacks.
348
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,959
Except for foster parents.
"Toothpaste sandwiches, y'all."
349
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,625
Plus side, I have literally
never had a cavity.
350
00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:53,083
True story. Come on.
351
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,834
Honey, I'm so sorry for what I said.
352
00:16:56,917 --> 00:17:00,667
I just, I freaked.
You know how much I loved Big Carl.
353
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:04,125
He was always there for me,
never judging me.
354
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,709
Just the thought of him
makes me smile.
355
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,041
Laurie, are you getting this down?
356
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:09,125
Hell, yeah, I am.
357
00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:14,208
Welcome to the Gulf Haven
mayoral pizza toss.
358
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,083
Candidates. Candidate.
359
00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:22,041
Hi, everybody.
360
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,458
I'm Andy Torres
and I'm running for mayor.
361
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,542
Shut up, baldy! Toss the dough!
362
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:30,333
Toss it!
363
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,333
There is no pizza!
364
00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,583
The "snow-peas bra"?
365
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:38,917
There is no pizza. There's just you.
366
00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,125
Okay.
367
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:43,041
Ready? Go ahead.
368
00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,041
Your move, Mayor.
369
00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,458
So you don't really think
I'm a bad mom?
370
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,000
I mean, you're not the worst...
371
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,333
But you know why I ignore all the crap
that Stan does?
372
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,375
It's not 'cause I think it's funny.
373
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:23,583
I ignore it just 'cause I don't want
to admit my kid is a nightmare.
374
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,917
All right.
Here's how this is gonna go down.
375
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,709
I'm gonna help you be strict with Stan.
376
00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:29,917
- He's gonna hate me.
- For, like, a minute.
377
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,375
And you're gonna
forget most of the bad times, anyway.
378
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:35,375
Although it is hard to forget that phase
that Travis screamed
379
00:18:35,458 --> 00:18:37,417
every time he saw an ethnic person.
380
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,709
My mom still does that.
381
00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,583
This is gonna suck for a while, it will.
382
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,667
But I promise you,
by the time Stan is nine,
383
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,750
he's gonna be
sleeping in your bed every night.
384
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,917
That might just be Travis and me.
385
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:52,291
We had a sleepover last Tuesday.
386
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:53,750
Cute.
387
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,625
I'm not gonna have another kid.
388
00:18:56,709 --> 00:18:59,458
And before I know it,
Stan's gonna be a grown-up.
389
00:18:59,542 --> 00:19:01,917
And you and every other mom I know
390
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:05,458
always talk about those memories
where their kid does something so cute
391
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:08,458
that everyone says... It's not fair.
392
00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:10,709
I'm never gonna
have one of those moments.
393
00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:13,875
Well, if you don't believe you will,
then I'll believe for you.
394
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:17,041
Thank you. The bats are smiling.
395
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,750
Okay, first I'd like to congratulate Andy,
396
00:19:21,834 --> 00:19:25,291
and thank him and Grayson
for the very creative centrepiece.
397
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,375
It's a watermelon spray-painted orange.
398
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,709
I think you owe me some vows.
399
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,333
Hand me the notepad.
400
00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:38,083
"Grayson, you're always there for me.
Never judging me.
401
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:40,500
"Just the thought of you
can make me smile."
402
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,291
These are perfect.
403
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:47,709
"I love that I can fit an entire bottle
of wine in you and carry you around."
404
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:49,458
We should have changed some stuff.
405
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:50,542
You think?
406
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:52,125
Most of it was very nice.
407
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,834
All right. Let's hold hands.
408
00:19:57,291 --> 00:20:00,125
What I love most about Thanksgiving,
even in the spring,
409
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,542
is that I get to be around
all the people that I love.
410
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:03,750
Could I say something?
411
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:05,583
Hey, I forgot you were here.
412
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:09,250
I just want you to know I'm so happy
you let me be part of your group.
413
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,083
- Well...
- No, no, let him have it.
414
00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:15,291
Thank you all for being my friends.
415
00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,709
- Let's eat.
- Okay.
416
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,208
Hey, where's the turkey?
417
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:21,083
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
418
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:22,625
Oh, my gosh!
419
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,750
How'd you get him to do that?
420
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,000
I promised him four cans of spray paint.
421
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:33,375
You should park in the garage
for the next couple weeks.
422
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:35,542
- You want to start? All right.
- Yes, yeah.
423
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,291
- Your dad's gonna...
- Who needs wine?
424
00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:38,583
Right here.
425
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,750
{\an8}We're all here to pay our respects
to Big Carl.
426
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:50,000
{\an8}I remember when I first met Big Carl.
He was the base of a lamp.
427
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,917
{\an8}I'll see you at the crossroads, homey.
428
00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:55,250
{\an8}Oh, no, not this again.
429
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:57,667
{\an8}With endings come new beginnings.
430
00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,166
{\an8}Everyone, say hello to Big Lou.
431
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:03,041
{\an8}- Hi there.
- Oh, yeah.
432
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,542
{\an8}Rest in peace, Big Carl.
433
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,250
{\an8}We'll always remember the good times.
434
00:21:14,166 --> 00:21:16,792
Big Carl.
33606
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