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1
00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:03,208
What is up with the cop uniform?
2
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,709
This is from when
Grayson proposed to me.
3
00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,875
But lately we've been using it for,
4
00:00:07,959 --> 00:00:10,667
well, you know how we do.
Role players!
5
00:00:12,166 --> 00:00:14,000
You have the right to remain naked.
6
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:17,333
How would you like it if we talked
about our sex life all the time?
7
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,959
- No, don't. No, no, no, no.
- Come on.
8
00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,875
Great, they're grossed out
by the thought of us naked.
9
00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:23,083
Not us, my friend.
10
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,291
{\an8}- Newspaper jinx!
- Newspaper jinx!
11
00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:37,834
{\an8}I win! Come on, guys, hand them over.
12
00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:42,000
{\an8}Sweet, triple coupons.
13
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,458
{\an8}Tom, do you think you could turn that
new fountain off every once in a while?
14
00:00:45,542 --> 00:00:46,458
Why?
15
00:00:46,542 --> 00:00:49,875
{\an8}I sleep with my windows open, and it
just makes me have to pee constantly.
16
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,750
{\an8}What just happened? Was that magic?
17
00:00:56,834 --> 00:00:58,875
{\an8}It's the damn Bicycle Boys.
18
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,375
{\an8}They found a shortcut
to the new mall.
19
00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:01,500
{\an8}What new mall?
20
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,250
{\an8}They built it
right behind our neighbourhood.
21
00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:05,750
{\an8}You signed my petition
trying to stop it, remember?
22
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:09,083
{\an8}- No.
- The Bicycle Boys are bad news, Jules.
23
00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:13,500
{\an8}They write "Don't" on the stop signs.
They call anyone over 20 "Grandpa."
24
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:16,917
{\an8}They made my garden gnomes gay.
25
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,333
{\an8}Actually, that was me, Tom.
26
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:24,625
{\an8}But those Bicycle Boys,
they've picked the wrong cul-de-sac.
27
00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:27,542
- Duck!
- What?
28
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:33,625
{\an8}A new mall? That's horrible!
29
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:35,625
{\an8}Do they have hot dogs on a stick?
30
00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:38,333
{\an8}No! We are against the new mall.
31
00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:40,834
{\an8}Even though they have an awesome
men's store called Short and Wide.
32
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,500
{\an8}I believe
we just found your new nickname.
33
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:46,583
{\an8}Fine. But I will still gladly take on the
burden of handling the Bicycle Boys.
34
00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:50,125
{\an8}Short and Wide fancies himself
the protector of the neighbourhood.
35
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:53,291
{\an8}I'm more like the king.
I do everything around here.
36
00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:54,583
{\an8}No, you don't.
37
00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:56,458
{\an8}Who got us all new recycling bins?
38
00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:58,709
{\an8}Who writes the cul-de-sac's
weekly newsletter?
39
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:01,333
{\an8}Who got the permit
so Tom could put up his fountain?
40
00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:04,208
{\an8}That thing undid six months
of potty training for Stan.
41
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,625
{\an8}Andy, you're talking about
manual labour.
42
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,959
{\an8}Kings didn't build the pyramids.
Slaves did.
43
00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:12,875
Or aliens.
44
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:17,041
{\an8}I wine-watched a documentary
last night and it's all a little fuzzy...
45
00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:19,208
{\an8}Come back, sweetie.
Bring your point with you.
46
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:21,709
{\an8}Sorry. I am the king
of the neighbourhood
47
00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,333
{\an8}because I take care of the people.
48
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,500
Who saved the Goldsteins' marriage?
49
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,625
Who stopped Mrs Rose
from her suicide attempt?
50
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:30,417
She was gonna jump off her shed.
51
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,291
She was holding scissors!
52
00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:35,041
Okay, let's take it to a vote.
53
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,000
{\an8}Okay, all that think Andy is king of
the neighbourhood, raise your hand.
54
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:42,959
Grayson, count those.
55
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,250
Give me a sec.
56
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:46,875
Zero.
57
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,583
And those who think I am king.
58
00:02:49,709 --> 00:02:51,166
All hail, King Jules!
59
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:53,542
Come on!
60
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,125
Bye, S.W.
61
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:01,709
Okay, Dad, stop posing.
62
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:04,208
The assignment is to take
a picture of a stranger
63
00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,333
working in his natural environment.
64
00:03:06,417 --> 00:03:08,083
You're not supposed to know
you're being photographed.
65
00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:09,333
I see the camera right there.
66
00:03:09,417 --> 00:03:10,625
I see your dilemma.
67
00:03:10,709 --> 00:03:12,959
- Can I wear the pirate hat?
- No pirate hat.
68
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:14,834
This is gonna be a boring picture.
69
00:03:14,917 --> 00:03:16,250
Crazy idea.
70
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:20,083
Instead of cheating on your assignment,
how about, get this, not cheating.
71
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:24,709
Yeah, that's not really an option
with the old skull fracture.
72
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:25,917
You want to see what happens
73
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,041
when you try to take secret shots
of strangers while wearing a helmet?
74
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:32,333
"Daddy, look!" "It's Dork Vader!"
75
00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:34,291
"It's Dork Vader!"
I got that one a lot.
76
00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:37,917
Okay, here. Bobby, like this.
Purse your lips a little, like...
77
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:42,208
What? It's what we did
when I was an underwear model
78
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:43,375
for Montgomery Ward.
79
00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:45,583
You just tried to slip that one
in there, didn't you?
80
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:49,709
There are two types of underwear
models, front guys and butt guys.
81
00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:51,000
I was both.
82
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,333
He said proudly.
83
00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:56,875
All right, Dad, Grayson in
bikini briefs, think about it.
84
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,041
Whoa, it's not a sad thing.
85
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,125
{\an8}Laurie, why are you texting me?
86
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:05,375
{\an8}And you sent me
a nude picture of yourself?
87
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:08,250
{\an8}Boom, you just got photo-bombed!
88
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:09,417
{\an8}Wow!
89
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,667
{\an8}Whoa, check out your downstairs!
90
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,208
{\an8}- Hey, someone's an artist.
- Thank you.
91
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:18,667
{\an8}Dear God, jellybean, why would you
risk having a picture like this get out?
92
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:19,875
{\an8}What risk?
93
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:24,375
{\an8}The whole world saw Paris Hilton's
Berts and Ernie, and now she's rich.
94
00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:26,667
Yeah, and now she's rich.
95
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,917
Jules put naked pictures
of herself online.
96
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,166
That was an accident.
97
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,709
Apparently anyone can call themselves
an "online" dermatologist.
98
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,166
Now I have Ellie
check my downstairs moles.
99
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:40,792
Nothing good comes out of letting nude
pictures of yourself out in the world.
100
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:44,083
You are so wrong
and I'm going to prove it.
101
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,625
There's this army guy in Afghanistan
that I met on Twitter.
102
00:04:46,709 --> 00:04:51,250
He's been asking for a skin pic
and now I am about to oblige. Send!
103
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,458
Don't worry, I kept it classy.
104
00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:58,417
Covered up my Berts,
single-nerped him, just a peek.
105
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:00,000
You're a dummy.
106
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:04,000
It's amazing
you got this from a stranger.
107
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:07,333
The sea has taken so much from him,
and yet,
108
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:10,875
it's all he has.
109
00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:12,291
Do you really think so?
110
00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:15,333
No. Head of my department was
walking by, I wanted to sound smart.
111
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,667
Don't go sensitive artist on me.
112
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,750
- No, no, no.
- Look at me.
113
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:24,458
Wow, it is not easy to have an honest
moment with a kid wearing a helmet.
114
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:26,250
I'll push through.
115
00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,917
Okay, so usually when I tell students
their work moves me,
116
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,041
I'm lying to spare their feelings.
There's a lot of criers at this school.
117
00:05:32,417 --> 00:05:35,291
But your work does move me.
118
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:37,875
Thanks.
119
00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:46,041
Professor LeClaire,
everyone hates my photo essay.
120
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:49,291
Franklin, no, no, no. It's wonderful.
121
00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:50,875
It's not, it's bad.
122
00:05:57,917 --> 00:06:00,500
Hey, Sig, you know that dream
when you're falling and you won't stop?
123
00:06:00,583 --> 00:06:02,709
I kind of feel like that
all the time now.
124
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:04,375
Why is that, Helmet?
125
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:06,625
For starters, people call me Helmet.
126
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,583
Also,
I'm cheating in my favourite class
127
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:11,291
with the only teacher who's ever
believed in my talent as an artist.
128
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,125
I'm not sure
how it could get much worse.
129
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,208
Trav, I'm in love with that gal.
130
00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:18,125
There it is.
131
00:06:25,291 --> 00:06:28,083
Well, you fancy yourself
the king of the people.
132
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,959
So go ahead. Handle it.
133
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,208
I will.
134
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:36,041
Hey, guys, guys.
Wow, those are cool bikes.
135
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,291
You know, when I was a kid,
I had a Huffy.
136
00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:41,417
Her name was Sparkly Thunder.
137
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:47,375
Anyway,
instead of going through our yards...
138
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:48,959
What are you doing?
139
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:50,959
Well, that's cute.
140
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:55,291
Well, I'll just wait here
till you get bored. Got all day.
141
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,959
Stupid fountain.
142
00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:03,041
Do you really want to see a middle-aged
woman pee right here in the street?
143
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,875
Yeah, I'd want to see that, too.
144
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:13,333
- I call bathroom.
- I call window.
145
00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:14,709
Fine, I'll go downstairs.
146
00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:17,000
Okay.
147
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,458
That's it. This ends now.
148
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,542
Bicycle Boys stole my fountain.
149
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:27,000
- No!
- Come on!
150
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,333
Damn them!
151
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,917
I am sorry for your loss, Tom.
152
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,458
- You're a good friend.
- I really am.
153
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:39,125
Now, let me say what we're
all thinking. Wine fountain!
154
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,583
Okay, we have to do that.
155
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:45,417
Agreed. But first, I need help figuring
out what to do with the Bicycle Boys.
156
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:47,000
You know, you could always...
157
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,917
I'm sorry, I almost forgot.
I already fixed it.
158
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:52,375
Meet Officer Pumpkin Head!
159
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:53,875
Those boys will see him,
160
00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:56,959
think the place is crawling
with five-oh and move along.
161
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,333
There's no way this works.
162
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,875
Wait. I want to say it with you.
163
00:08:07,959 --> 00:08:09,291
- Come on!
- Come on!
164
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,291
- Guess what?
- No, thanks.
165
00:08:14,375 --> 00:08:18,625
The army guy and I stayed up
all night tweeting and now we're dating.
166
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,542
It's actually pretty serious.
167
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,333
It's healthy
when things move that fast.
168
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:25,583
I told you good things would come
from sending naked pictures.
169
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,417
You're fake-dating someone
you've never met
170
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,542
who may or may not be in the army,
171
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,709
who may or may not be a man,
172
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:36,959
and who may or may not slice you from
nose to navel when you finally meet.
173
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:39,083
I wonder what he looks like.
174
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:42,959
I hope if he's black,
he's super black.
175
00:08:43,542 --> 00:08:44,834
Dark black is hot.
176
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:46,125
Is that racist?
177
00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:52,458
No, but it makes us uncomfortable.
178
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:53,875
Okay.
179
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:57,208
Dad, come on, you're being
even more ridiculous than normal.
180
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,709
Is that even possible?
181
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:01,291
He's just mad because I'm in love
with a gal I've never even met.
182
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,542
No way! I'm in love with a dude
I've never met! No look!
183
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,667
Maybe looking is important.
184
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:11,333
I only saw her for a second, but,
man, my heart raced. Time stopped.
185
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,750
Fireworks?
186
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:16,709
Haven't you guys ever felt an instant
connection with someone you just met?
187
00:09:16,792 --> 00:09:17,917
- Never.
- Once.
188
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,166
Several times a week.
189
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:23,417
And only Ellie is correct. There is
no such thing as love at first sight.
190
00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:26,667
Professor LeClaire?
191
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,125
Just give me a sec.
I mean, look at him.
192
00:09:30,792 --> 00:09:31,959
Yeah, I'm good.
193
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:39,834
You don't speak French, do you?
194
00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:41,000
Enough.
195
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:47,125
What the...
196
00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:52,583
You get back here, he will shoot you!
197
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,333
No!
198
00:09:57,542 --> 00:10:00,375
Did you turn Officer Pumpkin Head
around and blow his cover?
199
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:02,625
I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
200
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,834
He only speaks in spooky laughs.
201
00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:09,291
Don't.
202
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,917
You don't have the guts.
203
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:15,792
God! You better run!
204
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,166
Ellie! Jesus!
205
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:28,917
You think you're safe?
One of these rocks has a key in it.
206
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,083
Shoot!
207
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,291
See, this was my boxer brief pose.
208
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,917
But if I was modelling racer briefs,
209
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:42,375
I'd just arch my back a little,
maybe pop the cheeks, like so.
210
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,417
Miss those days.
211
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,500
You and no one else on Earth.
212
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:52,875
The male prisoners who keep
my fan site active strongly disagree.
213
00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:57,750
You know who looks great
in his racer briefs probably?
214
00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,500
Wade, my army boyfriend.
215
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:03,041
Who is, fingers crossed,
216
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,917
super dark black. Blacker than space.
217
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,709
That felt pretty racist.
218
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,875
See, I still say no.
219
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:12,583
This is the best relationship
I have ever been in.
220
00:11:12,917 --> 00:11:15,917
So, we decided that if one of us
meets someone who's super hot,
221
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,542
we're totally allowed to bang them.
No mouth-kissing, of course,
222
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,834
and it won't even touch us
because our connection is that deep.
223
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:27,542
He even sent me a virtual promise
ring. What should I send him?
224
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:28,667
Your dignity?
225
00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:32,709
I know, I know, I know, I know!
My social security number.
226
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:36,875
That is the ultimate display
of online trust. Send.
227
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:45,000
Penny can!
228
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:48,709
Sig, looks like you're good at something
other than not getting laid.
229
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,166
He's kidding, Siggy.
230
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,375
Penny pick up!
231
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:57,333
So your family just shows up
whenever they feel like it?
232
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,834
Yeah, that's pretty much
how it works.
233
00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,542
Hey, look, Trav,
you know why we really came over.
234
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,375
I want to ask out Professor...
235
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:07,792
- LeClaire?
- LeClaire.
236
00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:12,041
Yeah, well, you and Professor LeClaire,
obviously super tight, but...
237
00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:14,333
No, let me finish, all right?
You come first.
238
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,834
She's your teacher
and you look up to her,
239
00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:16,959
and I don't want to mess that up.
240
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,417
So if you want me to back off,
you just say the word and I'm...
241
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,625
Dad, if she met you, she'd know right
away that I was cheating, okay? But...
242
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,125
Let's just forget about that
for a second.
243
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,667
Good, done.
244
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:27,000
Please don't date my teacher.
245
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:30,000
All right, copy that.
246
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:31,792
Thank you.
247
00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:37,291
What...
248
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,291
Couldn't find a hose.
249
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:43,583
And by the way,
while you were locked in my house,
250
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,041
{\an8}I put up a new sign.
251
00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:48,875
{\an8}All right,
can we please end this silly thing?
252
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:52,208
You win.
You're the king of the neighbourhood.
253
00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:53,875
Andy, please don't do that thing
254
00:12:53,959 --> 00:12:56,667
where you turn something small
into something serious.
255
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:57,750
I'm begging you.
256
00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,834
I never get to be in charge of
anything in my life.
257
00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:02,583
- And here we go.
- At work, I have to do
258
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:03,709
whatever my clients want.
259
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,917
And who do you think is the boss
of my home, me or Ellie?
260
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,083
Who can really say?
261
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:11,250
This cul-de-sac is the one place
where I felt like I called the shots.
262
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,917
And you took that away from me.
263
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,041
- Andy, don't go.
- Why?
264
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,333
Because I put Stan there.
265
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:27,834
God, not the sad sigh.
266
00:13:27,917 --> 00:13:29,917
It's sexy on a man, isn't it?
267
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,083
Come on, we're all the same.
None of us are in charge of anything.
268
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:35,125
You own a successful
real estate company.
269
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:36,709
Right. Yeah, go Jules.
270
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,583
Sorry. What about Grayson?
He's not in control of anything.
271
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,959
She's right. Wait.
272
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:48,000
Hey, everybody out of my bar,
right now. Serious, go.
273
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:52,083
I'm just... I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm
so sorry, come back, sit down, sit down.
274
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,500
I'll just accept
being the world's bitch.
275
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:02,041
My heart feels like your sad face.
276
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,375
My face feels like your sad eyes.
277
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:10,834
Poor Short and Wide.
I feel bad for him.
278
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:17,166
Good God, not another sad man sigh.
279
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:18,625
Why is this one so down?
280
00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:22,792
Let your dad ask out your teacher.
281
00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:24,500
What, you told on me?
282
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:26,125
I did, and I'd do it again.
283
00:14:26,959 --> 00:14:29,000
Hey, Sig. My mom's here now.
284
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:31,750
Bye, Sig.
285
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:34,333
It's tough for your dad. He's lonely.
286
00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:37,583
Plus, he's got to find someone
while he still has his looks.
287
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:42,500
Cobbs do not age well. After 50,
it's like a rocket ship to Dogville.
288
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:43,709
What?
289
00:14:43,792 --> 00:14:45,667
Relax, dude, I'm not a Cobb.
290
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:50,667
Look, I know
you're just trying to be a good mom
291
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:54,291
by coming over here to convince me to
let Dad bang my photography teacher,
292
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,166
but do you really think
there's anything you can say
293
00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:57,959
that's gonna make me
want that to happen?
294
00:14:58,041 --> 00:15:00,208
When's the last time
your dad liked someone?
295
00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:05,542
Is that what you do now
when he says something almost smart?
296
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:07,041
You point at him like a dog?
297
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:09,250
Yeah, so what? He likes it.
298
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:10,250
I do.
299
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,458
Are you done with your funk, boo?
300
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:21,834
Brother!
301
00:15:23,041 --> 00:15:24,500
He's starting to burrow.
302
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,542
So lame.
303
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:28,792
Yeah, don't let them bother you.
304
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,750
So, do you think
I should go see Andy?
305
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:33,667
Don't.
He's just trying to manipulate you.
306
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,625
I don't agree.
307
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:38,750
Jules, if there's one thing that I've
learned in my relationship with Wade,
308
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:42,166
other than the fact that he is
indeed black, he just told me.
309
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,333
Congrats!
310
00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:46,542
Thanks! I'm super happy about it.
311
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:48,250
Anyway, earlier today,
312
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:51,417
I was trying to give my under-brows
a little colour,
313
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,250
and I got some spray tan in my eye.
314
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,083
Now, granted, it was a little dumb.
315
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:57,250
You're not using the word
"little" correctly.
316
00:15:57,333 --> 00:16:00,333
Still, he picked me up.
317
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,417
And maybe that's what you need to do
for Andy.
318
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,500
You know, pick him up,
no matter how dumb he's being.
319
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,875
Don't you dare take lessons
from her and her fake relationship.
320
00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:11,583
What, you don't know it's fake!
321
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,041
- What's Wade's last name?
- Dunno.
322
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:15,250
- Where's he from?
- Dunno.
323
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:17,166
- Did you say "dunno" or "doughnut"?
- Dunno.
324
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:18,083
- What colour are his eyes?
- Dunno.
325
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,667
- Does he have eyes?
- Dunno.
326
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:20,792
Jules, see she...
327
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:24,333
- Where did she go?
- Dunno.
328
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,083
Andy?
329
00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:30,542
- Yeah?
- I am so sorry.
330
00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:34,000
I need your help
with the Bicycle Boys.
331
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:37,709
I need you to rise up
and be the king that we all need.
332
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:40,875
Like a cul-de-sac Braveheart?
333
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,125
- Okay. Let's go. Come on.
- All right.
334
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:47,709
Look, I know the way I feel about
this woman is classic idealisation.
335
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:51,000
You surprised
that I know what idealisation means?
336
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,000
- Yeah!
- Absolutely.
337
00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:55,750
Me, too.
I have no idea how it got in there.
338
00:16:56,667 --> 00:17:00,250
You know, I looked her name up
in the college directory. It's Angie.
339
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,500
- Good name.
- Yeah. She's from France.
340
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:04,834
Better than Tampa.
341
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:10,333
Bobby, if I can find Wade,
you're gonna find someone great, too.
342
00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:14,875
You didn't find someone, you stripped
online for a stranger. That's not real.
343
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,583
Let's read your tweets with him
from last night, shall we?
344
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:20,083
Go ahead.
345
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,500
Dime Eyes, read with me.
346
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:28,417
"What up? It's hot as ballensteins
in Flizorida. What, what!"
347
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,625
I'm reading Laurie, by the way.
348
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:32,375
"I've got something
to make you hotter right here."
349
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,625
Wow, this gets raunchy fast.
350
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,500
"I'm glad you're around tonight."
351
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:38,750
"'Me, too,' said my lady parts."
352
00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:40,125
Girlfriend knows how to flirt.
353
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:42,875
"Where've you been? I missed you."
354
00:17:42,959 --> 00:17:46,208
"Yeah, sorry. Some bad stuff
went down. But I'm okay."
355
00:17:46,959 --> 00:17:49,750
"You sound scared.
If you want to talk, I'm here."
356
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:52,917
"Thanks.
Hey, if I'm not here tomorrow,
357
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,208
"just know that tweeting with you
was all I looked forward to today."
358
00:17:57,583 --> 00:18:00,542
"Me, too. What, what."
359
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,458
You can say it.
360
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:09,625
You and Wade,
you're just so good together.
361
00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:12,667
He finally sent me a real pic.
You want to see?
362
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:18,667
He looks sweet.
He's naked, but still sweet.
363
00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:22,375
All those that live in
this cul-de-sac, join me now.
364
00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:39,959
What's with the face paint?
365
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:42,667
He's doing Braveheart.
I did it with lipstick.
366
00:18:43,417 --> 00:18:44,750
Sons of Scotland...
367
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:45,959
Oh, my God, he's on a horse.
368
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:47,875
Is Braveheart a movie?
369
00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:50,125
He's a famous Indian chief.
370
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:51,750
I knew it!
371
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:55,333
We've come to fight
in defiance of tyranny.
372
00:18:55,417 --> 00:18:58,000
And dying in your beds,
many years from now,
373
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:04,083
would you be willing to trade
all the days, from this day to that,
374
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:08,166
for one chance, just one chance,
375
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:11,667
to come back here
and tell our enemies
376
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,125
that they may take our lives,
377
00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:17,458
but they will never take our freedom!
378
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,250
Hold.
379
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,083
Hold.
380
00:19:31,041 --> 00:19:32,208
Hold.
381
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:36,041
Now! Sand trap!
382
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,083
Thanks, Mike.
383
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:47,208
Well, even though
Jimmy dislocated his ring finger,
384
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,709
we are not liable
because he was trespassing.
385
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:51,333
Yes!
386
00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:53,041
Thanks for letting me have this,
Jules.
387
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:56,125
We are so happy that you are
king of the neighbourhood.
388
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,125
Really, guys?
389
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,500
- Yes.
- Yes.
390
00:19:58,583 --> 00:20:00,458
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
391
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:03,959
Hey, while we're still here, we
should only water our lawns at night
392
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,542
because it's better
for the environment.
393
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,917
- No.
- That's stupid.
394
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,166
- No, we can't.
- Can't.
395
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,709
Okay.
396
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,083
Hey.
397
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:14,542
I'm psyched you wanted to grab lunch.
398
00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,583
I'm a hole-punch away
from a free meatball.
399
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:17,959
Actually, I can't.
400
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:20,166
Why didn't you tell me?
I drove all the way up here.
401
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,208
Hey, Professor LeClaire?
402
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:23,917
Hey, Travis.
403
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,500
Professor LeClaire, this is my dad.
404
00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:33,458
He's the fisherman in my pictures,
which I faked. I'm sorry.
405
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:36,125
It's just the helmet sort of
prevented me from taking...
406
00:20:36,208 --> 00:20:37,125
And you're not listening.
407
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:41,041
Anyway, I just really wanted you two
to meet. So...
408
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:50,750
Hi.
409
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,125
Hi.
410
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,333
{\an8}King Andy got your fountain back
from those mean Bicycle Boys.
411
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:03,750
{\an8}Let there be wine!
412
00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:06,041
{\an8}You put wine in my fountain?
413
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:07,208
{\an8}You're welcome.
414
00:21:07,291 --> 00:21:11,458
{\an8}It looks like a fountain of blood.
People are gonna think I'm creepy.
415
00:21:11,542 --> 00:21:13,875
{\an8}I think the ship
has sailed on that one, big guy.
416
00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:16,333
{\an8}Gonna be here a while.
Might as well get comfy.
417
00:21:18,458 --> 00:21:19,291
{\an8}Thank you.
418
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:21,208
{\an8}You guys know I own a bar, right?
419
00:21:21,291 --> 00:21:22,750
{\an8}Yeah.
420
00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:24,500
{\an8}Cheers.
32598
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