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1
00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:06,125
{\an8}So, Trav asks me
if I thought it was a problem
2
00:00:06,208 --> 00:00:08,792
{\an8}that all we do on the weekends
is sit around and drink wine.
3
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,375
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
4
00:00:10,458 --> 00:00:12,458
{\an8}Are we only drinking
on the weekends now?
5
00:00:12,542 --> 00:00:14,333
{\an8}Because we need to vote on that.
Guys?
6
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:15,750
{\an8}No!
7
00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:17,041
{\an8}Wow, democracy works.
8
00:00:17,625 --> 00:00:21,417
{\an8}But still, maybe we shouldn't just sit
with our wine glasses in our hands,
9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,959
{\an8}doing nothing, you know? So...
10
00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:26,375
{\an8}I got us these!
11
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:28,041
{\an8}Now our hands are free to do stuff.
12
00:00:28,125 --> 00:00:30,208
{\an8}But I liked holding my glass.
13
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,333
{\an8}I feel like an animal.
14
00:00:31,417 --> 00:00:34,333
{\an8}Take it off! Hate it.
15
00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:38,125
{\an8}Wait. What if we think of these
necklaces as our on deck circle?
16
00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:40,625
That way
we don't have to get up so much.
17
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:42,333
I don't like getting up.
18
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,667
Cheers, everyone.
19
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,834
{\an8}Wow. That's some pretty serious
PDA for you.
20
00:01:03,917 --> 00:01:05,500
{\an8}What can I say?
You bring it out in me.
21
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:07,667
{\an8}Let me ask you something.
22
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:11,083
{\an8}When we first met,
did you see us falling in love?
23
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:12,583
{\an8}No.
24
00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:15,083
{\an8}Yes?
25
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,041
{\an8}All I wanna do is make you happy.
26
00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:18,500
{\an8}Really? Maybe tonight you'll...
27
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,083
{\an8}It's not about sex, babe.
28
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,959
But I want you
to try to keep listening.
29
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:23,875
I'll try my best.
30
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:27,875
{\an8}Promise me that
we'll always surprise each other.
31
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:33,166
{\an8}All I really want is a life
32
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:35,083
{\an8}full of surprises.
33
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,834
{\an8}You know what would be
a huge surprise,
34
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:38,583
{\an8}is if you didn't mess with these kids
right now.
35
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:40,500
{\an8}Right? Hey, fellas,
36
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,458
{\an8}I'm trying to talk to my man here,
37
00:01:43,542 --> 00:01:46,333
{\an8}so could you take that thrashing
down to the park?
38
00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:49,250
{\an8}Whatever, lady.
39
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:50,792
{\an8}Hey, none of you
are gonna have girlfriends
40
00:01:50,875 --> 00:01:52,750
{\an8}unless you cut your hair
and take a shower!
41
00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:55,041
{\an8}That's not true.
42
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:58,291
{\an8}When I was younger I was crazy about
dirty long hairs. Now, where were we?
43
00:01:58,375 --> 00:01:59,667
{\an8}- Surprises.
- Right.
44
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,458
{\an8}Love them, want them. Lock it down.
45
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,166
{\an8}Okay, without Laurie or Bobby here,
46
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,959
{\an8}it's just not as cramped
or stupid or noisy.
47
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:15,417
{\an8}I'll just say it.
I think this should be the gang.
48
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,625
{\an8}Too mean, babe.
49
00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:17,959
{\an8}I know.
50
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,750
{\an8}I think this should be the gang.
51
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:21,875
{\an8}I heard that!
52
00:02:21,959 --> 00:02:23,000
{\an8}Good.
53
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:29,166
Nothing on two legs
should walk that loud.
54
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:34,000
It's just hard to walk
with this stupid ankle monitor.
55
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,917
Seriously, Jules, this is why
56
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,083
you shouldn't have hassled
those skateboarders.
57
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:43,875
Last month I was in real need of
a spiritual, soul-cleansing journey.
58
00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:47,000
But, of course, I didn't have
enough cash to fly to India,
59
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,375
so I just drove north.
60
00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:49,875
It was total Eat Pray Tampa.
61
00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,792
Anyway, I let this cute-ish bartender
62
00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:56,625
trade me free drinks
for a little action upstairs,
63
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:58,625
and his ex-wife showed up.
64
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,333
I should have minded my own business,
but did I?
65
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,709
- Don't care.
- Next thing you know,
66
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,000
she is kicking me
67
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:08,291
and I have got this very heel
in my hand,
68
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:10,083
and I am popping her eardrum.
69
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,291
You don't wanna go down
that road, honey.
70
00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:15,792
Not a huge worry for me.
71
00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:19,125
I knew you would mess
with those skate rats.
72
00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:22,583
You are very predictable.
73
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,917
In what way?
74
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,542
In every way?
75
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,542
That's not funny.
76
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,041
Honey, we just know how you're going
to react in most situations.
77
00:03:34,125 --> 00:03:36,291
- Every situation.
- In every situation.
78
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:39,125
I am not predictable!
79
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,375
- I'm not.
- I'm not.
80
00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:42,750
- I'm not.
- I'm not.
81
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:49,375
- So, you're only gonna be mad at me?
- I am.
82
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:53,208
Ellie! Stan punched Rosa!
83
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:58,917
Stanley Torres, you are gonna
clean up all of these toys
84
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,083
and then go write Rosa
an apology note.
85
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,834
Doubt it.
86
00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:05,917
Okay, let's go take a nap, champ.
87
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,083
No, no, no.
88
00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,333
Sharp teeth there, pal.
89
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,000
All right.
90
00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:15,333
That kid.
91
00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:17,000
Feisty little fella, isn't he?
92
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:18,458
No.
93
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:22,709
That black eye you had last week,
that was from playing tennis?
94
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,542
Sure, sure.
95
00:04:24,625 --> 00:04:26,000
What happened to the couch?
96
00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:29,834
Just say it!
97
00:04:30,417 --> 00:04:34,250
He is a devil baby.
I don't know what happened.
98
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:36,834
He likes to sneak out of our house
with a hammer
99
00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:39,375
and smash the neighbours'
landscaping lights.
100
00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:42,625
Make me feel better.
You always know what to say.
101
00:04:42,709 --> 00:04:45,250
Sweetie, this should be the gang.
102
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,625
It totally should.
103
00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:49,917
Hey, buddy-boy!
104
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,333
Dad! To what do I owe
105
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,208
the unannounced-didn't-call-ahead
pleasure?
106
00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:58,458
I just came by to check out
the new college digs.
107
00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,875
It's a two-bedroom house,
but the rent is super cheap
108
00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:02,834
because nine guys live here.
109
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:04,583
I don't even really know
most of their names.
110
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:08,458
I think there's a Steve. Yo, Steve!
111
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,125
- What?
- What's up, bro?
112
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,417
Two Steves.
113
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,000
What's that?
114
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:16,041
That is our homemade greenscreen.
115
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:17,709
Nice.
116
00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:19,417
You're okay being a nerd, right?
117
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,834
Yeah. Love it.
118
00:05:20,917 --> 00:05:23,333
Hey, I also came by
'cause I want to do you a favour.
119
00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:25,375
Now, every college house needs a pet.
120
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:26,959
Dad...
121
00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:29,542
I mean, you have a big yard,
there's plenty of people around.
122
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,834
I mean, he's gonna love it.
123
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:34,917
And, brother, there's no better panty
dropper than a giant, cuddly horse-dog.
124
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,917
Yeah, we use the greenscreen
to bring in the chicas.
125
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,417
Yeah, I don't see the ladies getting
all weak-kneed over a green wall.
126
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,250
Whoa, Seabiscuit!
127
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,834
Partner, I stand corrected.
128
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:58,000
Damn!
129
00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:01,834
I'm not predictable, you say
Perhaps it's true
130
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:07,125
But when you wake
Here's what you'll do
131
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,083
Brush your teeth, wash your face
132
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,125
Check your nose, just in case
133
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:14,333
Eat your breakfast, bacon and eggers
134
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:17,583
Take your pill
so you don't get preggers
135
00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:19,750
Find your mouth guard
Check your mail
136
00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:21,834
Work out time, if it's late you bail
137
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:24,041
Where's your mouth guard?
You threw it away
138
00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:26,750
It's all the same, every day
139
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:31,291
But we don't mind, we're glad to wait
'Cause we all know that right at 8:00
140
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:34,834
You'll come downstairs
Then on our knees, all together
141
00:06:34,917 --> 00:06:36,834
Coffee, please.
142
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:41,625
It's Jules' slightly longer
morning routine song
143
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,000
Yeah!
144
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:45,208
No singing. I'm just too cranky.
145
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:49,291
Jules! They sharked your car.
146
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,250
Jellybean, use your words.
147
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:54,291
Sharked it! Come!
148
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,208
My car got sharked!
149
00:07:01,291 --> 00:07:02,417
Told you.
150
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,959
Bet it was those skate rats.
151
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,792
This is so on!
152
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,166
Three waters.
153
00:07:15,291 --> 00:07:16,792
Jerks.
154
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,750
We need to make sure it's them.
155
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,625
Sorry. I used to get really embarrassed
when I would sneeze in public.
156
00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:29,583
Now I've just put a happy noise
with it, you know, to own it.
157
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:31,333
I got the idea from my new shrink.
158
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:32,834
Honey.
159
00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:34,458
Yeah, he's probably gonna have to go.
160
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:35,625
Yeah.
161
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:38,875
No.
162
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,041
Jules, if you get married again,
how do you want to be proposed to?
163
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,583
Tom, I don't know.
164
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:45,583
Yes, you do.
165
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,500
Okay, I want it to look something
like it was out of a fairy tale,
166
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,542
and I want everyone I love
to be there.
167
00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:51,750
And I wanna do all the talking,
168
00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:54,959
because when it comes to love,
I'm a street rapping poet, yo.
169
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,333
Wait, why are you asking me?
170
00:07:57,417 --> 00:07:59,041
Does he wanna know?
171
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:00,417
No.
172
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,667
We should hang out more together,
just the two of us.
173
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,333
Raise your hand
if you just built a hot tub.
174
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:09,083
I gonna have to throw
my "too creepy" flag.
175
00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:10,291
I knew it when I said it.
176
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:13,583
You know, I used to think that
Tom was secretly gay.
177
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:18,166
That's because you think all single men
over the age of 35 are secretly gay.
178
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:22,667
When we met, I was over 35
and single. Did you think I was gay?
179
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,000
Hello?
180
00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:27,333
Jules, they're getting up.
181
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,458
Check for guilt in their eyes.
182
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,667
I think I saw guilt. Did you?
183
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:39,208
I don't know. I just got mesmerized
by their greasy hair. I love it!
184
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:41,875
- Right? I wish I was in high school.
- Me, too.
185
00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,291
This should be the gang.
186
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:50,291
- What?
- Nothing.
187
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:54,709
Poor old Andy and Ellie,
mostly Ellie.
188
00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:56,583
Afraid of your own son.
189
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,291
- We're not afraid of Stan.
- No.
190
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,834
Then why are you whispering?
191
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,583
- It's sexy.
- It's sexy.
192
00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:09,834
Look at this cute picture
that Stan made. What is that?
193
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,959
- That's a sunflower.
- Little bunny rabbit.
194
00:09:12,041 --> 00:09:13,041
It's a what?
195
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,959
It's a rabbit sun... Rabbit flower.
196
00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:20,041
Really? It looks like
a flesh-eating demon.
197
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,125
- I told you.
- Stop it!
198
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,333
Well, if you guys
aren't scared of him,
199
00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:26,667
then you won't mind if I just...
If I take this off.
200
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:28,041
- No.
- No. Take it.
201
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:32,917
- We're gonna fix it.
- It just needs new tape.
202
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,000
Sometimes it loses stickiness.
It's the stickiness, Stan!
203
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:41,083
Someone is gonna get hit
with a hammer.
204
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,458
I got skater boy's address!
205
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:49,500
Get ready for Operation Revengeance.
206
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:50,834
Not a word.
207
00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:52,000
Stop being so precisional.
208
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:58,417
We're going to do something that
gorgeous skater boy will never expect.
209
00:09:59,041 --> 00:10:02,125
We are going to TP his house.
210
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:03,625
All right!
211
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,083
I called you predictable,
212
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:09,000
but just when I thought
you were gonna zig, you zig.
213
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,792
You did not see this coming.
214
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,542
Really? Why do you think
everyone here wore black?
215
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,000
Everyone raise your hands.
216
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,291
All right, everybody out.
217
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,333
So you looked in the mirror
and thought that looked good?
218
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:23,000
Yeah.
219
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,542
Stan?
220
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:30,250
Hey, check it out. I'm gonna keep
talking while he drinks water.
221
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,875
- This is Sig, one of my roommates.
- Hey, Sig.
222
00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:40,709
That's a pre-shot computer image.
I'm over here.
223
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:42,500
It's all very confusing.
224
00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:46,208
Dad, I'm sorry,
but I don't need the dog.
225
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:48,542
I wish you would have said that
right off, 'cause, Trav,
226
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:51,875
the thing about Dog Trav is that
he decides where he lives on his own.
227
00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:55,709
And once he's found a nice spot
and eaten a shoe, he's home.
228
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,709
Sorry, buddy, nothing I can do.
229
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:00,458
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
230
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:03,917
Come here. Come here, boy.
Come on. Come on, boy.
231
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,709
Oh, my God,
what are you made of, cement?
232
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,959
And then she was like,
"Stay away from my man!"
233
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:15,583
You know, he is a handful,
but he's got spirit.
234
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,291
The spirit of the devil.
235
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:20,333
I am not gonna say another
disparaging thing about Stan.
236
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:21,458
I love him too much.
237
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,041
I do, too.
238
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,750
I just worry about the future.
239
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,083
Like, how's he gonna turn out?
Who is he gonna be like?
240
00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:29,458
Hey, Ellie.
241
00:11:29,542 --> 00:11:32,500
Look, I made him a matching
ankle bracelet out of electrical tape.
242
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:37,792
Separated at birth! What-what?
What-what? What-what?
243
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:40,834
Please, no.
244
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,583
You know, you'd be less mad
just by getting naked, right here.
245
00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,125
No, no, no, no, not the mouth guard.
246
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:56,709
Yes. Once the mouth guard is in,
this store is closed.
247
00:11:56,792 --> 00:12:01,917
One day I will sleep with you after
you've put that vile thing in your mouth.
248
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,041
It's my Everest.
249
00:12:03,917 --> 00:12:05,458
- Now, come here.
- Stay back.
250
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:06,667
- Just come...
- I mean it.
251
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,000
- A little bit...
- It's going in.
252
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:11,375
Look, why do you care so much
if I think you're predictable?
253
00:12:11,959 --> 00:12:15,083
Because, you dummy, it's like...
254
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,834
It's like
you're saying that I'm boring.
255
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:24,458
But I like boring.
That's not the right thing to say.
256
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:28,125
And now she grabs her robe,
and sleeps down the hall.
257
00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:32,250
You think you know me so well,
don't you?
258
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,750
I do.
259
00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:36,959
Then turn off the lights, handsome.
260
00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:39,000
Oh, my God, it's really happening.
261
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:40,166
Yeah.
262
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:42,875
Please don't make me kiss.
263
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,083
Tom!
264
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,041
- Dad?
- No.
265
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,291
You want to do stuff,
just the two of us?
266
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,750
- Yeah.
- Let's go!
267
00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:06,083
Come on, get up.
268
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,208
You sleep nude!
269
00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:11,166
I'll see you downstairs.
270
00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:20,291
If nerd's the new cool,
why are they all asleep at 9:15?
271
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:21,750
Who cares?
272
00:13:22,417 --> 00:13:23,917
This is beautiful.
273
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,667
Hey, why all the games
with getting Dog Travis over here?
274
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,208
Why not just ask Travis to take him?
275
00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:33,375
I guess I can't ask Trav
'cause I'm scared he's gonna say no.
276
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:36,250
And I'll think it's because I've been
such a crap father for so long
277
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:38,041
that he feels
he doesn't owe me anything.
278
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:41,834
He's not the one keeping
stupid thoughts like that alive.
279
00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:44,417
- You are.
- Yeah, maybe.
280
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,875
Is it weird that we're doing this and
we can't see ourselves on the monitor?
281
00:13:47,959 --> 00:13:49,291
Yes.
282
00:13:49,375 --> 00:13:51,000
Don't let go!
283
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,250
Come on! Come on!
284
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,834
I got Stan into his crib.
285
00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:05,125
He's gonna be just like you,
isn't he?
286
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:07,000
Fingers crossed.
287
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,917
Have your moment.
Tell me what to expect.
288
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,875
Okay.
289
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:19,542
If Stan does go down my path,
290
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,250
in the near future there'll be more
291
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:25,333
screaming, crying, anger,
breaking stuff,
292
00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:26,542
getting kicked out of pre-school,
293
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,709
getting kicked out of kindergarten,
getting kicked out everywhere,
294
00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:31,834
crashing cars, getting arrested,
piercings, drinking and sex.
295
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,041
- When he's 13...
- Enough!
296
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,709
Is this karma?
297
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:39,333
I mean, I'll admit,
I'm not always the most
298
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:43,208
lovely person.
299
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,667
Are you laughing?
300
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:47,875
Yes.
301
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:49,166
For shame!
302
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,792
Relax.
303
00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:53,458
You know the main difference
between me and Stan?
304
00:14:53,542 --> 00:14:54,750
I had
305
00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:59,333
five different crappy stepfathers.
306
00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:03,375
Stan's got two amazing parents.
307
00:15:04,291 --> 00:15:06,333
What? Whatever, he does.
308
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:12,333
Look, I think that
if you guys just stay in the game,
309
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,083
he's gonna be fine.
310
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,208
Thanks.
311
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:21,125
Of course, some devil babies
are just devil babies.
312
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,667
Sorry, had to say it.
313
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,125
I get that.
314
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,792
Jules?
315
00:15:31,291 --> 00:15:32,709
What are you doing?
316
00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:34,875
You can't come.
It's just the two of us.
317
00:15:35,792 --> 00:15:37,500
Get in.
318
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:38,709
You just lost shotgun.
319
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,083
Damn it!
320
00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,959
Revengeance is mine!
321
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,083
- Let's get that hedge over there.
- I'll get it.
322
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:52,500
Tom sleeps nude.
323
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,500
Why would you tell me that?
324
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,583
Well, I want it to be
in someone else's head.
325
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,959
- How fun is this?
- So fun!
326
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:01,917
- It's the fuzz!
- No!
327
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,333
Scatter!
328
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,125
I want to come clean.
329
00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:10,041
Dog Travis isn't a chick magnet.
330
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:14,834
Dad, for me, college will never be
about girls anyway. So...
331
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:20,291
Well, you're my son
and I love you no matter what.
332
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:21,500
Wasn't coming out to you.
333
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:24,458
Just meant that I'm here to learn.
334
00:16:24,542 --> 00:16:25,500
Not gay.
335
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,875
Well, if you were,
I might cry for a minute,
336
00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:29,458
not because I'd be upset about it,
337
00:16:29,542 --> 00:16:34,083
just because I know how hard it'd be
for you to admit it to me, and yourself.
338
00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:36,542
It's a little weird how much thought
you've put into it.
339
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,208
Sorry. Your mom thinks everyone
secretly swings that way
340
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:42,333
and you know how susceptible my
brain is to other people's thoughts.
341
00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:46,500
I do. But it's late.
You're probably getting really tired.
342
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:49,125
You're right, I am.
343
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,250
Anyway, I need to ask you a question
344
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,250
that I probably
should have asked you yesterday.
345
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,959
Wait! Both of you
wet your hair first.
346
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,125
Just go with it.
347
00:16:59,709 --> 00:17:03,959
I know this is a lot to ask,
but could you please take Dog Travis?
348
00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:06,458
Of course, Dad.
349
00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:07,709
Really?
350
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:11,083
I mean, come on,
after all you've done for me?
351
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,375
Come here. I love you.
352
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,250
I'd pay $12 to see that.
353
00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:19,500
Right?
354
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,083
We gotta go pick up Ellie!
355
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:27,917
What do you think your therapist
is gonna think about this?
356
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,166
Who knows?
It's only been a couple of months.
357
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,250
I'm still not comfortable enough to
stop lying to him about everything.
358
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:34,291
He thinks I'm 35.
359
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:35,709
No, he doesn't.
360
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:37,458
I'm not sure,
361
00:17:37,542 --> 00:17:38,834
but I think there's a chance
362
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,834
that me getting caught here
with my ankle monitor
363
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:44,583
could be considered a third strike,
so I'm gonna bolt.
364
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:47,667
No, no, don't leave me.
Prison's great.
365
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:50,458
You can get those
neat teardrop tattoos.
366
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:53,083
I'll create a diversion for you.
367
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,542
Taser!
368
00:17:58,166 --> 00:17:59,959
Oh, God!
369
00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:02,083
Anybody else out there?
370
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:14,625
All right, look, Officer,
it's a funny story...
371
00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:18,875
Really? I'm all ears.
372
00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:20,125
What?
373
00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:23,834
- Hey, Jules.
- Hi there.
374
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:27,208
Taser.
375
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:28,792
What's going on?
376
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:32,250
Those kids didn't shark your car.
I did.
377
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:34,625
I even had
Laurie give you this fake address.
378
00:18:34,709 --> 00:18:36,250
Well, then, whose house is this?
379
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,542
It's empty.
It's actually your listing.
380
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:48,250
Yeah.
House shows really well at night.
381
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,709
I knew you'd come here and do this.
382
00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:52,667
So that's what this is about, huh?
383
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,625
You just wanted me to look stupid
so you could laugh at me again?
384
00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:57,542
No, Jules.
385
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:02,709
I mean, didn't you say that
you wanted a life full of surprises?
386
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,959
And look, everyone you love's here.
387
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,458
And isn't this all kind of...
388
00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:11,417
Isn't this all
kind of like a fairy tale?
389
00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:19,083
I mean,
when I sent Tom to you in the bar,
390
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,333
isn't that
what you told him you wanted?
391
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:35,375
I thought you wanted to do
all the talking.
392
00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:37,750
I'm speechless.
393
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:39,333
Really? You?
394
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:42,458
I love you so much.
395
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,000
Will you marry me?
396
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:50,333
Okay, I'm gonna say yes,
so don't get nervous.
397
00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,083
I just...
398
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:59,041
I want to think of a way to say it
so you know how happy you make me.
399
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:06,417
That was pretty good.
400
00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:31,959
I'm not boring, am I?
401
00:20:32,917 --> 00:20:36,166
No. You're a crazy person.
402
00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:57,917
{\an8}Okay, fan.
403
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,041
{\an8}Nice. Mountain top.
404
00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:06,792
{\an8}Okay, this is for our grandkids,
so when you propose to me this time,
405
00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:09,083
{\an8}please try to squeeze out a tear.
Okay.
406
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:11,333
{\an8}Action!
407
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:16,250
{\an8}My dearest Jules.
408
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,750
{\an8}Yes, my love?
409
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:21,000
{\an8}Dude, how often is your mom
gonna come over?
410
00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:23,166
{\an8}Probably more than I'd like.
411
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,834
{\an8}Damn it.
30434
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