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1
00:00:07,463 --> 00:00:09,073
Who wants fresh-baked banana bread?
2
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:10,466
Oh, oh. Me, me, me, me.
3
00:00:12,642 --> 00:00:14,054
- Smells great, Dave.
- Oh, yeah,
4
00:00:14,078 --> 00:00:15,645
it's Steve's secret recipe.
5
00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:17,299
Oh. Who's Steve?
6
00:00:17,429 --> 00:00:18,749
Oh, he's my mom's special friend.
7
00:00:20,302 --> 00:00:22,304
He would make it for me
whenever he and my mom
8
00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:23,714
went upstairs to do their taxes.
9
00:00:25,698 --> 00:00:27,744
How often would they do their taxes?
10
00:00:27,874 --> 00:00:29,314
I don't know, a couple times a week.
11
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,010
Does he know that...
12
00:00:33,141 --> 00:00:34,968
Do you really
want to pull that thread?
13
00:00:35,099 --> 00:00:37,362
Calvin, as soon as
I got my oven fixed,
14
00:00:37,493 --> 00:00:38,972
this was the first thing I made.
15
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:40,496
Oh. Well, what was wrong with it?
16
00:00:40,626 --> 00:00:43,368
No idea. Man came over, went
straight to the breaker box,
17
00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:45,539
worked his magic, and
now we're eating banana bread.
18
00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:47,720
It wasn't magic, Dave.
19
00:00:47,851 --> 00:00:49,548
Did you really just pay somebody
20
00:00:49,679 --> 00:00:51,594
to flip your circuit breaker?
21
00:00:51,724 --> 00:00:53,726
No.
22
00:00:53,857 --> 00:00:56,860
It was free, with the protection
plan that I bought.
23
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,296
Oh, so it wasn't free.
24
00:00:58,427 --> 00:01:00,385
It's actually $250 a year.
25
00:01:00,516 --> 00:01:02,083
That's very not free.
26
00:01:03,258 --> 00:01:05,738
Well, it was free today.
27
00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:07,262
And it gives me peace of mind.
28
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:09,153
Look, I always check the box
for the extended warranty.
29
00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:10,569
See?
30
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,049
That's how they get you.
31
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:14,095
I don't check any of those boxes.
32
00:01:14,225 --> 00:01:16,967
As soon as that cashier
turns that screen towards me,
33
00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:19,187
I turn it right back on her.
34
00:01:19,317 --> 00:01:20,492
And I tell her,
35
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,364
"I ain't the one."
36
00:01:24,279 --> 00:01:26,063
Speaking of "one,"
that's your last one.
37
00:01:28,805 --> 00:01:30,894
Well, look,
if you don't check the box,
38
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,417
you just end up paying a man.
39
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,289
Dave, you are the man.
40
00:01:34,419 --> 00:01:37,553
Right, but a real man
knows how to delegate.
41
00:01:37,683 --> 00:01:38,815
Right, Gemma?
42
00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:41,296
Absolutely.
43
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:44,255
Although I got to say,
growing up in Hickory Corners,
44
00:01:44,386 --> 00:01:45,604
my grandpa fixed
45
00:01:45,735 --> 00:01:46,866
- everything himself.
- Yep.
46
00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:48,999
He put a new roof
on the barn when he was 82.
47
00:01:50,174 --> 00:01:51,915
Gemma, he fell to his death.
48
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,266
With a hammer in his hand.
49
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:57,573
That's how a real man goes out.
50
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,631
Malcolm, I can't read
the draft of your book
51
00:02:12,762 --> 00:02:14,764
- with you staring at me.
- Okay, my bad.
52
00:02:18,898 --> 00:02:20,509
I can feel your eyes.
53
00:02:23,338 --> 00:02:26,123
Okay, here's Daphne,
54
00:02:26,254 --> 00:02:27,559
fresh out of the bath.
55
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:28,908
Thank you, Mrs. B.
56
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:32,521
Oh, she is slippery.
57
00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:35,611
She's slippery, Marty.
58
00:02:35,741 --> 00:02:38,657
Oh. Uh, Mom, remember,
we said we only want to use
59
00:02:38,788 --> 00:02:40,311
water-based products on Daphne,
60
00:02:40,442 --> 00:02:41,747
so no Vaseline.
61
00:02:41,878 --> 00:02:43,314
Oh, everybody knows
62
00:02:43,445 --> 00:02:44,446
babies should be greasy.
63
00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:48,363
Ah, yes, that common phrase.
64
00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:53,411
Uh, what happened to the outfit
that I laid out for her?
65
00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:55,108
Oh, you wanted her in that thing?
66
00:02:55,239 --> 00:02:57,241
It was a gift from my grandma.
67
00:02:57,372 --> 00:02:59,852
Oh. Oh, let me check the rag box.
68
00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,421
I'm gonna go try to degrease her.
69
00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:06,163
Whoa, she is like an eel.
70
00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:10,385
Ah, that's crazy, huh?
71
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:11,995
Can you get back to my book, please?
72
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,519
I'm sorry, Marty,
I'm just anxious to know
73
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:16,347
if I'm capturing
the romance novel vibe.
74
00:03:16,372 --> 00:03:17,398
Okay, okay, okay.
75
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:22,310
"Derek grasped her heaving bosom."
76
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:23,528
What's wrong?
77
00:03:23,659 --> 00:03:26,488
Well, "bosom." And "heaving."
78
00:03:26,618 --> 00:03:28,707
And I don't love "grasped."
79
00:03:28,838 --> 00:03:31,362
It's a romance novel, Marty.
It's supposed to be seductive.
80
00:03:31,493 --> 00:03:32,818
Yeah, well, I'm not feeling seduced.
81
00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:33,949
I'm not trying to seduce you.
82
00:03:33,973 --> 00:03:35,081
Then why'd you ask me to read it?
83
00:03:35,105 --> 00:03:36,324
Because I wanted your opinion.
84
00:03:36,454 --> 00:03:37,605
This could have been an email.
85
00:03:37,629 --> 00:03:38,761
Oh, man.
86
00:03:40,502 --> 00:03:43,418
These books are just not
in my wheelhouse, you know?
87
00:03:43,548 --> 00:03:44,988
I wish I knew somebody who read them
88
00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:48,510
who could be my, uh,
my smut consultant.
89
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,052
Well, we could get
Mama back up in here.
90
00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:52,165
- Mama!
- No, no, no, Mama. No.
91
00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:53,254
Anyone else.
92
00:03:55,149 --> 00:03:56,213
Gemma.
93
00:03:56,344 --> 00:03:57,475
You think so?
94
00:03:57,606 --> 00:03:59,216
She does love those books.
95
00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:01,194
Remember when she was reading
Pride and Prejudice,
96
00:04:01,218 --> 00:04:02,326
and then the fake cover slipped off
97
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,630
and it was Fifty Shades of Grey?
98
00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:05,875
Yeah. Yeah, she was all, like,
99
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,529
"How did that get in here?"
100
00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:09,859
Yeah, and then she ran away
screaming, "Don't judge me!"
101
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:16,407
In case you're wondering who's
gonna hook this baby up, uh,
102
00:04:16,538 --> 00:04:19,671
you're looking at him. A real man.
103
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,630
Congratulations.
104
00:04:23,501 --> 00:04:24,894
You know, I spent all night
105
00:04:25,024 --> 00:04:26,939
watching how-to videos on YouTube,
106
00:04:27,070 --> 00:04:29,855
and, uh, I got this.
107
00:04:29,986 --> 00:04:32,162
Whoa, whoa. Uh, exc...
108
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,382
Bathroom is in the house, my friend.
109
00:04:34,512 --> 00:04:36,862
Yeah, I imagine so.
110
00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:39,343
Uh, excuse me. Uh, so,
111
00:04:39,474 --> 00:04:40,779
are you not gonna bring it in?
112
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:41,998
Oh.
113
00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:43,260
Nah.
114
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:47,133
You just signed up
for standard delivery.
115
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:48,807
That means that
I leave this on the premises,
116
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:51,007
and your lawn is the premises.
117
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:52,965
If you wanted it
brought into the house,
118
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,029
you should have checked the box
119
00:04:54,053 --> 00:04:55,359
for white-glove service.
120
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:58,101
But, uh...
121
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,017
My friend says those boxes are, uh...
122
00:05:01,147 --> 00:05:03,019
how they get you.
123
00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:05,282
Well, you didn't get got.
124
00:05:05,413 --> 00:05:07,153
Have a nice day.
125
00:05:07,178 --> 00:05:09,417
Well, hold on. D-Don't go.
126
00:05:09,547 --> 00:05:11,244
Ca... Can I check the box now?
127
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:13,943
Nah, you have to do it
at the time of the purchase.
128
00:05:14,073 --> 00:05:15,336
Have a nice day.
129
00:05:17,381 --> 00:05:19,992
I am not going to have a nice day.
130
00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:26,042
Yeah, yeah.
131
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:27,478
Oh, hey.
132
00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:29,132
Oh, she's still a little greasy.
133
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,351
I know.
134
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,921
There she is. There's my little
135
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:39,229
everything. Yeah. Oh.
136
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,580
Hi. You want to know
what Gamma got you?
137
00:05:42,711 --> 00:05:45,583
Is that a dress? Oh, yes, it is.
138
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:48,630
Oh, wow. So I see.
139
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,936
So many colors.
140
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:52,677
Right?
141
00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:54,766
You know what would
make that outfit pop?
142
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:57,465
Earrings. When are you
getting her ears pierced?
143
00:05:57,595 --> 00:05:59,423
Not sure yet, but not right now.
144
00:05:59,554 --> 00:06:01,643
Aw, she would look so cute.
145
00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,601
Yeah. She would.
146
00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:05,124
So?
147
00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:06,778
You know what it is?
148
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,781
I just... I get a little squeamish
149
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:10,992
when it comes to piercings.
150
00:06:11,043 --> 00:06:12,218
But thanks
151
00:06:12,349 --> 00:06:14,569
so much for the dress. Love.
152
00:06:14,699 --> 00:06:15,700
Well, I'm
153
00:06:15,831 --> 00:06:18,529
glad you like it. I bought her
154
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:21,184
a sweater with the exact same pattern.
155
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,446
Can't wait to see it.
156
00:06:22,577 --> 00:06:24,056
Okay, now.
157
00:06:26,102 --> 00:06:27,930
I hate lying to your mom.
158
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,540
Yeah, I know, that dress looks like
159
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:30,996
someone threw up a box of crayons.
160
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,370
And the whole piercing thing.
161
00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:35,901
I really feel like we need to
wait until Daphne is old enough
162
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:37,635
to make that choice for herself.
163
00:06:37,766 --> 00:06:39,115
Totally agree.
164
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:41,045
But it would be
so hard to tell your mom that.
165
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,553
Totally agree.
166
00:06:42,684 --> 00:06:44,860
So, how do you do it?
167
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,122
Do what?
168
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,212
Disagree with her.
169
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,736
Oh. No, I don't. I don't.
170
00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:52,998
I learned that years ago.
171
00:06:53,129 --> 00:06:54,391
Come on.
172
00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:56,045
No, it's true. Really.
173
00:06:56,175 --> 00:06:57,805
I used to think
my favorite color was blue,
174
00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,527
but then my mom told me it was green,
175
00:06:59,657 --> 00:07:01,442
and it turns out she was right.
176
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,493
"Mayday, Mayday, this is not a drill"?
177
00:07:09,624 --> 00:07:11,277
What do you need, Dave?
178
00:07:11,408 --> 00:07:13,008
Just a quick favor.
I need you to help me
179
00:07:13,062 --> 00:07:14,933
pop that bad boy into the house.
180
00:07:15,064 --> 00:07:17,458
That bad boy is a bathtub.
181
00:07:18,823 --> 00:07:19,826
Why didn't you have
182
00:07:19,851 --> 00:07:21,244
the delivery guys do it?
183
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,202
Well, I didn't choose
the white-glove service
184
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,204
because the little Calvin
on my shoulder
185
00:07:25,335 --> 00:07:28,077
told me not to check any boxes.
186
00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:31,472
Well, regular-size Calvin
says you're an idiot.
187
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:36,215
You don't check the box
for loyalty service,
188
00:07:36,346 --> 00:07:39,131
you don't check the box
for travel protection,
189
00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:42,570
but you always check the box
for white-glove service.
190
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:43,745
Especially for stuff
191
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,573
as big as a bathtub.
192
00:07:45,703 --> 00:07:47,966
Including a bathtub.
193
00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:49,272
Everybody knows that.
194
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,926
Well, I didn't know that. Look,
195
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:53,276
Calvin, please, I can't have Gemma
196
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,036
come home and see
that I couldn't do this.
197
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,647
How am I supposed to feel
like the man of the house
198
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,934
if I can't even be a man?
199
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,900
You knew that was gonna
get me, didn't you?
200
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,376
You knew it.
201
00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:09,727
Come on, Dave. I mean, a bathtub?
202
00:08:09,858 --> 00:08:11,729
Well, maybe you're right.
203
00:08:12,556 --> 00:08:14,906
Guess I'm not gonna die
like Gemma's grandpa.
204
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,473
Probably die like my grandpa,
205
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:17,866
at a puppet show.
206
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:23,611
I got so many questions.
207
00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:25,134
- Uh...
- I...
208
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:28,964
All right. Come on, I'll help you.
209
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:31,053
Okay. Calvin, thank you.
210
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:33,316
And I'll tell you what.
211
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,797
Once this bad boy is in,
212
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:39,322
you get the honor
of taking the very first bath.
213
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,194
Dave, this will be the last time
214
00:08:42,325 --> 00:08:44,806
that I ever touch your bathtub.
215
00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:46,851
Come on.
216
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:54,642
Calvin, these buddy straps
were a great investment.
217
00:08:54,772 --> 00:08:57,166
Instead of spending
$95 on white-glove service,
218
00:08:57,296 --> 00:08:59,429
I spent 60 on these straps,
219
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,040
and I get
to keep them forever. Calvin,
220
00:09:02,171 --> 00:09:03,520
imagine the things we can lift.
221
00:09:03,651 --> 00:09:05,000
Yeah, let's just
222
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,479
get this up the stairs, Dave.
223
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:08,960
Okay, now, Calvin,
remember, lift with your legs.
224
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,180
I've lifted things before.
225
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,312
Here we go. One, two, three,
226
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:14,531
- lift.
- Yep.
227
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,707
- Yep. Okay. All right.
- Okay. All right.
228
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:19,057
I think we got it. Here we go.
229
00:09:19,188 --> 00:09:21,712
Right foot, left foot,
right foot, left foot.
230
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:23,453
We're doing it. Right foot, left foot.
231
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:24,846
Right foot, left foot.
232
00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:26,282
Yeah, I know how to walk, Dave.
233
00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,896
"Heaving bosom?"
234
00:09:32,027 --> 00:09:33,811
I am taking that part out.
235
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:36,118
- I would.
- I am.
236
00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:37,922
- Because that's a really old...
- I'm taking it out, Gemma!
237
00:09:37,946 --> 00:09:39,034
Okay? It's gone.
238
00:09:40,992 --> 00:09:42,646
Look, here's the thing, Malcolm.
239
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,909
You're a terrific writer.
240
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,608
But the intimate moments?
241
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:49,566
They're lacking a certain...
242
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,633
Well, can you help me out?
I don't know,
243
00:09:53,657 --> 00:09:54,745
give me an example of-of...
244
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:55,964
- Yes.
- Oh.
245
00:09:57,269 --> 00:09:59,228
Okay, and you
highlighted passages for me.
246
00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:01,273
Yeah. For you.
247
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,103
Okay, look at this one.
248
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:07,628
"His hand traced her softness,
249
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,499
"claiming her body with every breath.
250
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,762
"She trembled like a fawn
251
00:10:11,893 --> 00:10:13,808
in the path of his undeniable ardor."
252
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:20,597
Okay. So-so-so,
you're saying that's...
253
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,731
Oh, yeah.
254
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,558
Okay, here.
Here's another good example.
255
00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:27,169
Mm-hmm.
256
00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:29,737
Uh, Gemma,
257
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,000
this is a biography of Steve Jobs.
258
00:10:33,088 --> 00:10:34,350
No, it's not.
259
00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:38,321
Calvin, slow down. You're pushing.
260
00:10:38,441 --> 00:10:39,679
I'm not pushing. You're pulling.
261
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,289
Well, I can't see.
You're my eyes, Calvin.
262
00:10:41,313 --> 00:10:42,464
- I don't know where I'm going.
- I've got the heavy end, Dave.
263
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:43,881
Lift up. You watch it...
264
00:10:43,906 --> 00:10:45,032
- You're pushing me into the door.
- I am not.
265
00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:46,512
I'm gonna die! Okay, down, down, down!
266
00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:48,059
What, what, what, what?
267
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,192
Okay. That wasn't so hard.
268
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:53,978
It's not gonna fit.
269
00:10:54,109 --> 00:10:56,546
Calvin, yes, it will.
270
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,197
No, it's too wide. It's not gonna fit.
271
00:10:58,243 --> 00:11:00,376
We won't know unless we try.
272
00:11:00,506 --> 00:11:01,943
Well, my eyes know.
273
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:04,902
Let's just try,
and then we'll know for sure.
274
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,774
Okay? One, two, three,
275
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,862
lift. All right.
276
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,734
Okay.
277
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:12,127
And now we know.
278
00:11:15,565 --> 00:11:16,740
Hey.
279
00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:19,090
Oh, hey!
280
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,831
There's my Daphne.
281
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:21,862
Thank you, Mama.
282
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:23,635
Doesn't she look pretty?
283
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,662
Well, yeah, she always looks pretty.
284
00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:25,692
Mm-hmm.
285
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,316
Doesn't she look
286
00:11:27,446 --> 00:11:29,710
extra pretty?
287
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:32,060
God, no!
288
00:11:34,715 --> 00:11:36,368
You got her ears pierced?
289
00:11:36,499 --> 00:11:38,806
Yeah. Don't worry, I did a video.
290
00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:40,895
She was crying. It was so cute.
291
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:43,985
Mom, Courtney's gonna flip out.
292
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,727
Wait, why? She just told me
that she was too squeamish
293
00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:49,425
to take Daphne herself.
This is what good grandmas do.
294
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:51,470
That is what she said.
295
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,927
The truth is, she wanted to wait
until Daphne was old enough
296
00:11:53,951 --> 00:11:55,344
to make the decision for herself.
297
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,563
What? Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand.
298
00:11:57,694 --> 00:11:59,827
Like, why wouldn't she
just be honest with me?
299
00:11:59,957 --> 00:12:01,263
I can take it.
300
00:12:01,393 --> 00:12:03,439
I'm the most easygoing person
in the world.
301
00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:06,485
Oh, my God.
302
00:12:06,616 --> 00:12:09,619
Look, I know you think that,
303
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:11,490
but sometimes you can be a little...
304
00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:12,927
A little what, Marty?
305
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:18,628
Go ahead, spit it out.
You think I'm pushy?
306
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,024
That's... that's what Malcolm says.
307
00:12:25,156 --> 00:12:26,549
Okay, good.
308
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,483
You've got Serafina
and Derek in the boathouse.
309
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:29,857
- It's go time.
- Yeah.
310
00:12:29,987 --> 00:12:31,206
All right.
311
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:33,295
How do they go?
312
00:12:35,514 --> 00:12:37,125
They just go.
She throws him on the bed.
313
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:39,257
Yeah, but there's
no bed in the boathouse.
314
00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:40,588
Then she throws him in a boat.
315
00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:45,829
Gemma, you've been telling me
to slow things down.
316
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,397
Yes, Malcolm, but now
you've got them ready.
317
00:12:48,527 --> 00:12:50,791
Derek has been watching Serafina
318
00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:53,228
put on her suntan lotion
on the veranda.
319
00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:56,666
She admired his muscles when
he hauled in his crab traps.
320
00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:58,450
And she has needs.
321
00:12:58,581 --> 00:12:59,950
Reginald hasn't touched her in weeks.
322
00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:01,453
I mean, this-this is
323
00:13:01,584 --> 00:13:03,978
a-a pressure cooker
that's about to explode.
324
00:13:04,108 --> 00:13:06,850
Yeah. Okay. Uh...
325
00:13:06,981 --> 00:13:09,679
"Serafina clawed hungrily
326
00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:12,029
"at Derek's belt.
327
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,726
"She pushed him down
328
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:16,468
"in the dirty dinghy.
329
00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:20,821
She can't get his pants off
fast enough."
330
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,914
Yes. That is so nasty.
331
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,748
What? Keep going.
332
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,133
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Okay, okay.
333
00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:40,492
Check us out.
334
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,668
Well-oiled machine.
335
00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:43,862
Yep.
336
00:13:43,887 --> 00:13:45,410
Yep, yep, we got this.
337
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,195
All right, now. Okay.
338
00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:49,285
Thank goodness we have
the double doors back here.
339
00:13:50,024 --> 00:13:51,634
- All right.
- Yeah.
340
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,592
All we got to do is just
341
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:55,812
get it over to the bathroom,
and we're done.
342
00:13:57,248 --> 00:13:58,249
You mean "up."
343
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,511
What do you mean, "up?"
344
00:13:59,642 --> 00:14:01,731
Well, it's going in our bathroom.
345
00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:03,080
Upstairs.
346
00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:04,995
W-What about the bathroom down here?
347
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,736
Well, that's a half bath.
348
00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:08,947
Yeah, we put the tub in there,
then it's a full bath.
349
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,220
Nah, come on, Calvin.
350
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,850
Let's strap back up. Let's take it up.
351
00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:15,440
Da-David, I'm not going upstairs.
352
00:14:15,571 --> 00:14:18,400
Your porch is only four steps
and it almost killed us.
353
00:14:20,271 --> 00:14:21,925
You know what, maybe you're right.
354
00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,736
You know, Gemma's
just gonna have to accept
355
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,277
that she's not married to The Rock.
356
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,844
I'm just a pebble.
357
00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:30,891
Dave "The Pebble" Johnson.
358
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,982
Dave, you are not a pebble.
359
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:38,221
Look, Calvin,
360
00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,117
it's not just about the bathtub.
361
00:14:40,248 --> 00:14:41,466
Look, look, I know, man.
362
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:43,512
You lost your job, but
363
00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:45,688
that doesn't make you less of a man.
364
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:50,693
Calvin, this is
not easy to say, but...
365
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,740
Gemma and I, in the bedroom...
366
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:55,960
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
367
00:14:55,984 --> 00:14:57,047
Pump your brakes.
368
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:00,572
It's not what you think.
369
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:02,792
Look...
370
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:05,403
...we haven't been having sex.
371
00:15:05,534 --> 00:15:07,405
That's exactly what I thought.
372
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,191
And now I know.
373
00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,456
Well, it's great, at least,
374
00:15:14,586 --> 00:15:16,434
that I have someone
I can share everything with.
375
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,459
No, not everything.
376
00:15:19,113 --> 00:15:20,766
Look, David,
377
00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:23,204
you're my friend, and so...
378
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:26,033
...let's just take care
of this tub situation,
379
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,687
and the other thing, it'll, uh,
380
00:15:28,818 --> 00:15:30,646
be up and running in no time.
381
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:33,692
I'll go find us some help.
382
00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:34,955
Thanks, man.
383
00:15:36,695 --> 00:15:37,935
Don't you cry. Don't you do it.
384
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,925
There she is.
385
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,796
Mommy's home.
386
00:15:50,927 --> 00:15:52,363
Hello.
387
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,278
Hello, Courtney.
388
00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,106
Ooh, Marty, you have to listen to this
389
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:58,277
amazing nine-part podcast
about the helium shortage.
390
00:15:58,326 --> 00:15:59,526
- I swear, it's...
- Daphne has
391
00:15:59,631 --> 00:16:00,676
her ears pierced.
392
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,852
What?
393
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,462
Oh, my God.
394
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,464
Did your mother do this?
395
00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:08,423
Look, I will not
sell out my own mother,
396
00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,685
but, yes. Yes, she did.
397
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,470
I don't believe this.
398
00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:13,621
That woman has no right...
399
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:15,386
Hey.
400
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,693
Mrs. B.
401
00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,869
It is so nice to see you.
402
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,392
Oh, cut the crap.
403
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,567
You know damn well
404
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,352
it's not nice to see me.
405
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:25,545
Excuse me?
406
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,790
Oh, come on. After what I did?
407
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,618
You need to stop being so polite
408
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:31,402
and start being real with me.
409
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,274
Hold on. You're mad at me?
410
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,276
You're the one
who pierced my baby's ears.
411
00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:37,539
That's because you were too respectful
412
00:16:37,669 --> 00:16:39,106
to tell me not to.
413
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:40,977
And stuff like this is gonna
414
00:16:41,108 --> 00:16:43,327
keep happening
unless you start telling me
415
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,898
how you really feel. Because, honey,
416
00:16:45,025 --> 00:16:47,723
I'm in my fifties
and I ain't changing.
417
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:51,553
Okay.
418
00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:54,904
You did overstep.
419
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,993
Look, I get that
you're the grandmother,
420
00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:59,778
- but I am the mother.
- Mm.
421
00:16:59,909 --> 00:17:01,998
Uh-uh. Still too nice.
422
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:03,826
If you want to respect me,
423
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,784
stop being so damn respectful.
424
00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:08,787
Okay. Okay.
425
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:12,748
Truth is, sometimes it's like
the concept of boundaries
426
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,793
is completely alien to you.
427
00:17:14,924 --> 00:17:16,230
That was good.
428
00:17:17,492 --> 00:17:20,103
Okay, better. Keep going.
429
00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:23,367
Well, sometimes you barrel over me
430
00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:26,283
like your opinion is the only opinion.
431
00:17:26,414 --> 00:17:28,024
Okay, okay.
432
00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:29,939
Now swing harder.
Say it with your chest.
433
00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:32,028
Stay in your lane, woman.
434
00:17:37,729 --> 00:17:38,948
Miss Tina.
435
00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:41,516
Ma'am.
436
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:43,779
Respectfully.
437
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:47,565
Okay. See?
438
00:17:47,696 --> 00:17:51,482
Now, had you been blunt
like that with me yesterday,
439
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,919
my grandbaby would not
have holes in her ears.
440
00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:55,747
Okay. Fair.
441
00:17:55,878 --> 00:17:58,098
All right, so now that
we're being honest,
442
00:17:58,228 --> 00:18:00,317
do you like the dress
that I gave Daphne?
443
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:01,797
Oh.
444
00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:05,192
Wait, uh, what dress...
445
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:06,256
Seize the moment, Courtney.
446
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,456
I hate it.
447
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:11,023
It looks like a rainbow
stepped on a land mine.
448
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:13,243
I already shrunk it
in the dryer on purpose.
449
00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:14,853
Mm-hmm.
450
00:18:14,984 --> 00:18:17,064
I kept the receipt. I mean,
I could have returned it.
451
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,727
But you know what?
452
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:20,076
Thank you for your honesty.
453
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:21,991
Mommy,
454
00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:24,167
my favorite color is blue.
455
00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:26,952
Boy, shut up. It's green.
Look at your sweater.
456
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:31,174
Oh. Hey, everybody.
457
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,350
I need your help
to move Dave's bathtub.
458
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,178
- What?
- What? Why?
459
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:38,877
His bathtub got stuck
on the ground in the front yard,
460
00:18:39,008 --> 00:18:40,792
but then come to find out...
461
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:43,926
Oh.
462
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,057
Oh, no.
463
00:18:45,188 --> 00:18:46,407
Poor Gemma.
464
00:18:46,432 --> 00:18:47,601
I mean, that is my worst nightmare.
465
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:49,018
Me too.
466
00:18:49,149 --> 00:18:50,367
Good thing that ain't us.
467
00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:51,542
You know what I'm saying?
468
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:56,025
Excuse me.
469
00:18:56,156 --> 00:18:57,716
Do you really think
you're being subtle?
470
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,424
All right, everybody, bathtub is in.
471
00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:05,208
Now we'll just go
take a quick water break
472
00:19:05,339 --> 00:19:07,471
and then pop back up
and hook up the plumbing.
473
00:19:07,602 --> 00:19:09,449
Oh, well, you know, I think
I left something on the stove.
474
00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:11,301
Yeah, and I just
need to change Daphne.
475
00:19:11,432 --> 00:19:12,868
Well, I-I got to go help Courtney.
476
00:19:16,538 --> 00:19:17,544
They're not coming back, are they?
477
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:19,048
Nope.
478
00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:21,572
Well, you're with me, right?
479
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,270
David, I have been doing
480
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,924
manual labor man work all day.
481
00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:28,013
I'm going home and
I'm taking me a bubble bath.
482
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:41,766
Well?
483
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:43,551
Malcolm, this is...
484
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:47,685
- Wait, wait. Really?
- Really.
485
00:19:47,816 --> 00:19:49,383
Okay, so-so I didn't go too far
486
00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:51,776
with-with the, uh,
the beads of sweat and...
487
00:19:51,907 --> 00:19:54,736
And the wet, flimsy shirt
clinging to his chest?
488
00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:55,929
No.
489
00:19:55,954 --> 00:19:57,826
Oh, yes.
490
00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:00,481
Yeah. Okay, so,
491
00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:02,744
the next time Serafina
and Derek get together,
492
00:20:02,874 --> 00:20:04,441
it's after the gala,
so do you think...
493
00:20:04,572 --> 00:20:06,138
- I got to Dave.
- You got to what?
494
00:20:06,269 --> 00:20:07,488
I got to go.
495
00:20:07,618 --> 00:20:08,750
You got... Hey, uh...
496
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,520
- Gemma, you forgot your purse.
- Keep it!
497
00:20:13,102 --> 00:20:15,670
Dave. Dave!
498
00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:27,377
Oh, hey, baby. Sorry I'm such a mess.
499
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:29,945
That's a mess I can get into.
500
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:34,689
What? Gemma?
501
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,474
- Yeah?
- You okay?
502
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:38,997
Yeah.
503
00:20:39,128 --> 00:20:40,825
Just... look at you.
504
00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:42,349
I mean, you're-you're all sweaty.
505
00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:44,438
- What happened?
- Oh, yeah, well,
506
00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:47,008
you know, sometimes, when a man
installs a whole damn bathtub,
507
00:20:47,136 --> 00:20:48,877
you get a little sweaty.
508
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:52,159
Come on.
509
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,229
Well, where we going?
510
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:54,598
I'm taking you to the boathouse.
511
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:55,666
The-the boathouse?
512
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,317
The bathtub! The bathtub. The bathtub.
513
00:20:57,694 --> 00:21:03,684
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