All language subtitles for The Bobs Burgers Movie 2022 1080p Bluray DTS-HD MA 5 1 X264-EVO (SDH) (Final)

(VARIATION OF STUDIO
THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN STRAINING AND GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

-(GUNSHOT)
-(BODY THUDS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

LINDA: Well,
that's the first time

an exterminator said
he's gonna pray for us.

That's okay, right?
That's not a bad sign.

-No.
-Whatcha doin', Gene?

I'm making an instrument
out of spoons,

and a napkin holder,
and dreams, and magic.

Obviously, Tina.

How's the burger, Bob?

BOB: It's okay.
I put an egg on it.

Why is Dad making a burger
at 8:00 a.m.?

Is he on British time?

He's making it to bring
to Mr. Dowling at the bank.

We have a meeting
this morning

and we're gonna ask
for an extension

on our loan payment.

Oh, fun.

And we really, really need
to get that extension.

All the restaurant equipment
is wrapped up in that loan.

So, you're giving him
a burger?

Well, I mean,
we can't give him money, Tina.

-'Cause we don't have any?
-Pretty much.

How about you play him
some of this?

-(RATTLING)
-What, to scare him?

No. To enchant him.

Bob, you know I love this
"bring him a burger" idea,

but isn't it a little early
to be making it?

I mean, our appointment
isn't for a while.

(WHISPERING)
This is a practice burger.

(WHISPERING)
Why are you whispering?

I don't want it to hear
and feel bad.

Okay.

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Wait, I'm a what?

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Nothing.
What? You're great. (SHUSHES)

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Mmm, that feels nice.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I know. I know.

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Don't rub my sesame seeds off.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I won't. Don't worry.

-They're a cute couple.
-Eh, I give 'em a year.

I'm gonna make
another practice burger.

And I'm gonna try
not to think too much

about how much
is riding on today.

Maybe I should put
two eggs on it.

Hey! This could be
your burger of the day!

You can call it your,
"Keep Your Sunny Side Up

"and Your Cloudy Side Down,

"Stay Positive, Bobby,

"Things Are Gonna Be Okay
Burger."

-Right?
-BOB: It's a little long.

How about "Mr. Greasy"?

Well, better get going.

Only one more week of school
and then I'm Summer Tina.

And big things are comin'
for Summer Tina.

Big things like that heat rash
you get sometimes?

Bigger.

Summer Louise might be

making some moves
that are pretty big, too.

Maybe. I don't know.

Don't worry about it,
all right?

TINA: Fine. Sorry.

Summer Gene's
gonna be topless 24/7

-and doin' a lot of this.
-(RATTLING)

-LOUISE: Oh, great.
-Bye, my babies.

Watch out
for the messed up sidewalk!

TINA: Thank you!

(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

BOB: (SINGING)
Every day we come downstairs

Unlock the door

And turn the sign to open

Open

Is another day I give myself
a little diarrhea

From the worry
and the stressin'

And the hopin'

-But I won't think about
-But you shouldn't think about

Those fears now

Mr. Dowling at the bank
is gonna say, "Oh, wow"

When he tastes our burgers,
tastes our fries

He'll probably give us
a high-five

Extend our loan,
throw us a bone

And tell us we are

-In the zone
-Yeah!

-Send us on our merry way
-Mm-hmm.

Hey, have yourselves
a pleasant day

BOTH: We'll come back here,
we'll go berserk

We'll hug and kiss

And get to work

Oh, Bobby,
I like what I'm hearin'

Diarrhea's fine,
but no sense fearin'

-I mean.
-Uh!

When you have that
just un-stop-timistic spirit

It's gonna be
the sunny side up

Summer of our lives

Ooh

Every time I see him

Oh, my heart,
it does a crazy little dance

Something like, eh, eh, eh.

Looks good.

And I want for him to kiss me

And then walk away
so I can see

What's shakin' in the backside
of his pants

Poop?

I think that this is real,
what I feel

And if he could feel it too
Well then that would be ideal

So I wanna make
this thing legit

-I'm gonna put a ring on it
-Ooh.

But not a ring
'cause that's cray-cray

I mean,
we're only in eighth grade

I'll do the thing
eighth graders do

When you like-like me
and I like-like you

Put something special
on a chain

And give it to him and explain

I'd like for you
to be my summer boyfriend

You'll say yes
and then to seal it

Shake your rear end

And it's gonna be
the sunny side up

Summer of my life

Each and every day
I want to sing

I want to play

Play this napkiny thing, I made it

And it's gonna revolutionize
American pop music

Each and every day

I just think I'm pretty great

Yep, that's right
No big deal

I'm not hiding what I feel

About some things
On my mind

And if they're
holding me behind

Keeping me feeling small

Though they actually
make me tall

Hope they don't hear me
talkin' about them

Don't know
what I am without them

-But this summer I might see
-But this summer we might see

-Just who I turn out to be
-Just what we turned out to be

And it's gonna be
the sunny side up

Summer of our lives

Guess we're gonna go for it
Feels kinda scary, I'll admit

It will be great, it's gonna work

We'll hug and kiss
and go berserk

I'll take a chance, don't second guess

We're doing great
if he just answers yes

(BOTH VOCALIZING END NOTE)

-No.
-BOTH: Huh?

-I'm sorry. Extension denied.
-BOB: Huh?

You have seven days
to make your payment

or we'll repossess
your restaurant equipment.

Seven days?

Possess our equipment?
Like, haunt it?

I brought you a burger.

Oh, no thanks.

-I'm trying to eat less meat.
-Oh, my God.

I'm going to close out the file.

And, uh,
your faces are making me

sad,

so if you could go?

Oh, my face?

And can you take
the, um... hmm?

There's fries in there.
You want the fries?

Typing till you're gone.
Typing till you're gone.

(RATTLING)

And that is the breakthrough
we've been looking for.

It hurts my teeth somehow.
Also who's "we"?

The band! Our underappreciated
but highly influential band,

the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee?

That we're in with my sisters.

And recorder bad boy,
Peter Pescadero.

-Oh, right. We were in a band.
-And we went with that name?

Yes! And we were just waiting
to discover our sound,

and I'm sure
you agree that I've found it.

(RATTLING)

ZEKE: I'm gonna get ya!
I'm gonna get ya! Come on.

JIMMY JR.: Zeke. Ow.

-Too hard! Aah!
-Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! (GRUNTS)

I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna walk

right over there
and I'm gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it.

I am gonna do it. Here I go.

Nope. Going back over here.
Can't do it.

-Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
-Zeke. Ow! Zeke. Ow!

Ow, Zeke. My penis area!

Nope. Not the right time.
Stand down, soldier.

Ready? Go!

Louise! Come do
a dead man's drop.

Ooh, that's over there
and I'm over here.

-But thank you.
-She's scared.

(SCOFFS) No. I'm not.

I mean, I'm scared of how
comfortable I am. Over here.

She's afraid
her hat will fall off.

(SCOFFING) You're afraid
my hat will fall off.

So gotcha!

Good one. I mean, kinda.

I don't know why
she still wears that thing.

It's like she's five.

-Oh, boy.
-(INHALER HISSES)

-Baby.
-(ALL GASP)

What'd you say?
Did you just use the B-word?

Uh, I'm pretty sure
she said, "lady."

I heard "rabies."

I'll show you rabies.

-(LOUISE SCREAMING)
-TINA: Easy. Easy.

What's going on over here?
A little conflict?

-(LOUISE SNARLS)
-(YELPS)

BOB: Stupid bank.
Sunny side up.

More like crappy side up.

It's gonna be okay, Bob.
Bob?

Do you think he remembers
I ordered a burger?

-(TEDDY GRUNTS)
-LINDA: Um...

-Yeah.
-(BELL JINGLES)

Your sidewalk's getting worse.

-Uh-huh.
-I saw someone trip.

Hey, how are you guys
gonna celebrate

getting that loan extension?

Should I get some
T-shirts made? I'd wear one.

We didn't get the extension,
Teddy.

What? But you made a burger!

-He's eating less meat, Teddy!
-Okay! Jeez.

He's eating less meat.

Bob, calm down.

Seven days. We can do this.

All we have to do
is sell enough burgers

in seven days
to pay the bank, which is...

BOB: A lot.

Eh, well, that's not that
much, right? We can do it.

Hey, there's gonna be
more business

down at the Wonder Wharf

'cause of
the Octa-wharfiversary!

Oh, yeah,
the Octa-wharfiversary.

More foot traffic.

Uh, yeah. That's true.

And feet have mouths.

Mouths that we could put
burgers in. Right, Bob?

Yeah. Feet have mouths.

-(LAUGHS) Feet mouths.
-(BOB CHUCKLES)

There he is. See?

Doesn't it feel good
to be a little hopeful?

Instead of being scary
and shouty.

And making people feel nervous
to ask about their order.

Yeah, it does a little bit.

(SINGING) It's gonna be
the sunny side up

Come on!

-BOTH: Summer of our lives
-(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

La-la-la-la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la-la-la-la

-La-la-la-la-la-la-la...
-(RUMBLING)

Huh? Oh! Oh! Oh!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, my God.

LINDA: It's not so bad.

LOUISE: Especially if
you're into huge sinkholes.

I mean, you can't get
in the door.

Customers need that, usually,

to be able to
get into the restaurant.

LINDA: Oh, hey, Mr. Dowling.

Don't worry about this at all.
We're doing great!

Seven days! (CHUCKLES)

He's shaking his head,
but that's probably

just 'cause he's got a bug
on his face.

-CALVIN: Look out!
-(HORN BEEPS)

Landlord coming through!

Wealthy landlord
coming through.

That's a big hole, Bob.

-What'd you do?
-What?

I agree.
This is in no way

caused by old
and leaky outflow pipes

that the landlord
of this property

should have replaced
years ago.

Good point, sir.

Is this important?

Because, (CLEARS THROAT)

Calvin, we were right
in the middle of flyering

for Wonder Wharf
and champumping.

How long do you think
this'll take

to fill in, Mr. Fischoeder?

Well, let's see,
what year is it now?

-Oh, my God.
-He's kidding. (CHUCKLES)

-You're kidding, right?
-Yes. Let's say yes.

I'm putting you in charge
of this, Felix.

You're my
ne'er-do-well brother

who no one believes in,

but maybe filling holes
is your thing.

And you just need
a chance to shine.

Grover,
I'm delegating this to you,

since you're our something.

-Lawyer. And cousin.
-Right. Ugh.

Anyway, the city
will take care of this.

-Probably done soon-ish?
-Or sooner!

See, Bob?
Our hole's getting filled.

-GENE: If I had a nickel...
-Gene.

Shall we champump our way
out of here?

Finish passing out
these flyers?

(GULPS)

(GRUNTS, SIGHS)

I'm exhausted. (SLURPING)

"Eighty years of cheap thrills
and almost no decapitations."

Wow, that's such a low amount.

I know. Can you believe it?

She's lasted 80 years

without getting sued
out of existence

or collapsing into the sea.

LOUISE: That's what
we say about Dad.

-BOB: Louise.
-My dad left all this to me,

the pier, all these buildings.

I still can't tell
if it was a joke.

(COUGHS) Should've been me.

Oh, well,
that would've been funny.

-Ha, true.
-(FELIX MUMBLES)

This says you're gonna
have live music

at the "newly half renovated
bandshell."

Yes. We've got
that accordion group,

Accordinary People.
Everybody loves them.

We've got Johnny Jazz Hands.

He does something
with his hands

-that I don't want to spoil.
-Thank you.

And our band, the Itty Bitty
Ditty Committee!

Ha! Oh. You're serious.
I'm gonna step away from you.

All right, fellas.
Let's not be here anymore.

Bye, burger people.
See you when the rent's due.

(SCATTING)
Put it in my mouth.

-(SIGHS) Rent.
-Oh, rent.

Mr. Fischoeder.
We need your help!

CALVIN: Mm... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

-No, yeah, yeah.
-Oh, my.

The bank's being kinda cranky
about our business loan.

So, can we not pay you rent
for a little bit?

So we can pay the bank?

You want to not pay me rent?

Am I understanding
your ridiculous question?

Just for this month.

FELIX: Mm-mm, mm-mm. Mm.

Mm-mm. Mm.

I agree with Felix.

Well, I am of two minds,
and by that, I mean, drunk.

-So, I'm going to say maybe.
-FELIX: Hmm.

Oh, hush.
Drive on!

FELIX AND CALVIN: (SINGING)
We're driving on the sidewalk

-Ha!
-Why "Ha"?

'Cause we don't
have to pay rent.

That'll help us with the bank.

He said, "maybe."

Yeah, but he winked
when he said it.

He's only got one eye.

How do you know
it wasn't a blink?

I can tell.

-Hi, Jimmy Jr.
-Hi, Tina.

This is cool. It's so deep.

It's like at any moment

the Earth can just
swallow us up.

Yeah...

ANDY: 'Cause it loves us
so much.

OLLIE: Mr. Belcher, do you
have a backup restaurant,

in case
the Earth gets this one?

BOB: Um, no.
OLLIE: Oh.

Louise, get away
from the hole.

Get away from the hole.
Please!

All right, I'm going upstairs
to go to the bathroom,

and they said
we won't be able to flush

while they're fixing
the water pipe,

so, last one to go,

I hope you had your shots,

'cause it's gonna
get intense in there.

TINA: I wanna go first.
Or at least not last.

GENE: I wanna go last.
I wanna be the cherry on top!

(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

Stop staring at that hole,
Hole and Oates. Come to bed!

-No one came in today.
-I know.

And now we have six days

-to pay the bank.
-Yep.

(SIGHS) And Mr. Fischoeder

didn't call us back
about the rent.

We still don't know
what kind of "maybe" that was.

Ninety percent of "maybes"
are yeses.

Definitely not true.

We've said "maybe" to being
in Teddy's book club

so many times.

Well, they fixed the pipe,
that's good, right?

And it's a pretty blue plastic.

-So modern. We're hip now.
-Hmm.

Hey, Mr. Mopey,

what was that thing you told
me your mother used to say?

I don't know.
"Something stinks in here"?

No. It was like,
"Hope and grit

"keeps you out of
the you-know-what."

Oh, yeah. She did say that.

I think she thought
that was very edgy.

-Well, it's true, too.
-Mm.

Come on. Come to bed.

Tomorrow, the hole
will get all filled up,

and we'll sell
a million burgers.

And you'll be able to make
facial expressions again, huh?

-Mm.
-Happy.

-Mm.
-Hopeful.

-Mm.
-Kissy lips.

(MUFFLED) Stop, please.

-Closed eyes, piggy nose!
-Lin.

-"I love Linda!"
-Mm.

Aw, I love you too, Bobby!
Okay, bed!

(MUFFLED)
Kids, lights out soon, okay?

We're good parents.

TINA: Tina rode Jericho
down the beach,

Jimmy Jr. rode his horse,
Vericho.

Vericho... S'vane.
From Spain...

(LAUGHING) Too slow.

JERICHO: I'm running.
I'm running. I'm running.

If you want to catch us

you'll have to take off
those bulky jeans, uh,

to be more aerodynamic.

Oh, you're doing it already.
Great!

You're right. I'm faster when
I'm just wearing underwear.

TINA: They galloped along
the endless sand,

side by side.

This is a perfect day.

All my favorite stuff
in one place.

You, my main horse, Jericho.

If only there were...
Oh, there they are.

Hi, sexy zombies.

ZOMBIES: Hi, Tina!

Damn. Oh.
Hey, I have something for you.

Oh, yeah?
Is that what I think it is?

My barrette-clace.

It's a combination
of barrette and necklace.

Cool.

Gosh, I'm so nervous.

I shouldn't be nervous
in my own fantasy.

This is a fantasy?

Don't worry about that.
Forget I said anything.

Uh, I was wondering
why I was so good

-at horsetop riding.
-Horseback.

-What?
-Nothing.

Wait, let's stop. Let's stop.

Whoa, whoa, Jericho.

JERICHO: (WHINES)
I hate stopping.

So, why are you nervous
in your own fantasy?

Is it because you're having
some doubts about real me,

Summer Boyfriend-wise?

Doubts, what?

I'm sensing some doubts.

Hey, how about
you have a fantasy

and you can ask a lot
of questions in that, huh?

Don't ruin this,
Fantasy Jimmy Jr.

You're ruining it.

You're making me say
these things.

I am not.
Did you lose your jeans

or your mind? Right?
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

-Okay, take it easy. Ow!
-Ahh!

-You take it easy, okay?
-Tina, calm down.

What's happening?
What's happening, right now?

This is fun. We're having fun
on the friggin' beach.

Son of a butt!

-(RATTLING)
-Mm-mm-mm! That sounds good.

Dad's been using this
restaurant stuff all wrong.

Bibbity-bibbity-bibbity-bam!

-Bibbity-bibbity-bam!
-(CROWD CHEERING)

Thank you!

We are the Itty Bitty Ditty
Committee!

Yeah!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hey, Ken! You made it!

I thought you were
at a conference in Houston.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Do you guys wanna hear
one more song?

-(RUMBLING)
-What the...

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

-ROBOT: Stop.
-What?

-Stop playing.
-Why?

We can hear you
from our planet

and it makes our teeth hurt.

GENE: You have teeth?
ROBOT: Yeah, I think so.

How about you go
get some different instruments

and maybe figure out
if music is,

I don't know, your thing?

But everyone loves us.

ROBOT: No,
they were being nice.

-See? They left.
-GENE: Oh.

ROBOT: So, this is
getting awkward.

Look, I'm not saying
we'll destroy your planet,

but it's not, like,
off the table,

if you play one more note
on that thing.

-Um...
-Bye.

So, thank you for coming.

I know you all have
busy schedules.

Dodomeki, Bakaneko,
Okoro Kamui,

unlicensed Burobu plushie,

Kuchi Kopi, melted Kuchi...

-We are happy to be here.
-Kiss ass.

-What's that?
-You heard me.

LOUISE: Fellas, please.
I've got a situation.

At school. Chloe Barbash
called me a baby.

What do we do? Ideas. Go.

Shoot her out of a cannon?
Uh, karate chop her in half?

Find a shark
and throw it at her?

These are just
off the top of my head.

I don't know if anyone else
is going to jump in?

Okay, we have cannon,
karate, shark. What else?

Why did she call you a baby?

It was
the dead man's drop thing.

I didn't wanna do it.

I was worried all my loose
change would fall out.

Okay.

All right, fine. It's also
because of my hat. My ears.

I don't know
if you guys have noticed,

but I, like, wear them a lot.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
now that you mention it.

Some people think,

Chloe thinks that I'm scared
to not wear them.

-Which is crazy.
-Totally.

And why's she dropping

these B-bombs on me
like it's nothing?

It's offensive.
To, you know, babies.

I mean, you are talking
to your toys right now.

Is this a bad time
to bring that up?

LOUISE:
Uh, you're collectibles.

Damaged collectibles,
some of you,

who are lucky
to still be in the mix.

Yep. Right, yep. Got it.

How are these baby-ish?

I mean, yeah,
I've had them since preschool,

and sure, I was thinking about

maybe not wearing them
anymore...

Wait, back up.

Did you say you've had them
since preschool?

Yes. You don't know the story?

-Is it long?
-Shush! Tell us.

My parents gave me these,

because it was the first day
of preschool

and I guess I was scared
or something,

and my mom made them,
and they gave them to me

so I would be brave.

So, what I'm hearing
is your head

has not grown since preschool.

Hey, some people's heads
just start out

the perfect size
and stay that way, okay?

Guys, we're supposed to be
coming up with ideas here.

How do I step to Chloe,

get my rep back,
and just generally bring it?

Oh, oh, oh! Melted night light
idea light bulb.

Just say it.

You go in the hole.

The hole
in front of the restaurant?

Yeah, yeah!
Get video. Get it on tape.

You down in that scary hole.

-Doing your thing.
-Interesting.

You know what they say,

babies come out of holes,
they don't go into them.

-Do they say that?
-They do. All the time.

-I've never heard it.
-Anyway,

there's your dead man's drop,
Louise.

You drop into the abyss.

That sounded cool. Admit it.

GOOD KUCHI KOPI:
Your breath's not cool.

BAD KUCHI KOPI:
Oh, please. I brushed.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

TINA: So, I'm supposed
to videotape you

climbing down into the hole

so you can show kids
at school?

Yeah. 'Cause babies
don't go into holes,

they come out of them.

Okay, you have
to stop saying that.

And what am I supposed
to do again?

You say, "Louise, don't go
down there. It's dangerous."

And then, when I go anyway,
you gasp.

Like this? (GASPS)

No, do it better.

-Can I say, "Honey, no"?
-TINA AND LOUISE: No.

How about, (DRAWLS) "What?"

Just the line and then
the gasp is great. Thank you.

All those in favor of doing
this tomorrow morning?

Gene, I see
your hand's almost up.

No! Mom and Dad would try
and stop me. It has to be now.

-Roll tape.
-Okay.

TINA: (DRAWLING) Uh...

(SIGHS) It's not that scary.

You're just all in your head
right now.

Get out of your head.

Big girl, pajama pants.
Come on!

(DRAMATICALLY)
Louise, don't go down there.

It's dangerous!

Louise, don't go down there.
It's dangerous!

Louise, don't go down there.
It's dangerous!

I think we got it.
That last one was good.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

I can't.

Oh, not what I was expecting.

Yeah, well, let's just forget
I even brought it up...

-(GENE AND TINA GASP)
-(LOUISE SCREAMS)

-(GRUNTS)
-Louise, are you okay?

(SIGHS) Yes!

Did you mean to wave your arms

all over the place
while falling into the hole?

'Cause if so, you nailed it.

Yes, it all went great.

Can you toss me the light?

-Here.
-LOUISE: Ow.

Did you say, "ow"
'cause you caught it?

Great! Argh!

So, is that a wrap?

Yep. Yeah, I think we're good.

Wanna go ahead
and help me out?

I'll grab the rope and try to
climb up and you guys pull.

-With our arms?
-Okay.

Tell us when.

LOUISE: Okay, yeah,
just trying to...

(GRUNTING)

Stupid mud, I hate you.

Stay on, frickin' light.

Okay, pull. (GRUNTS)

(BOTH STRAINING)

(WHIMPERING)

Ugh. Hold on. My foot's stuck.

My foot's stuck.
That's not at all terrifying.

Everything's gonna be fine.

-(SQUELCHING)
-(GRUNTING)

What the...

-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)

(CHOKING)

(COUGHING)

(DRAWLING) So, how's our girl?

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

BOB: Now it's a crime scene.
Great, great, great, great.

TINA: That's the spirit, Dad!

Oh, my baby. My sweet baby.

Enough, Mom! I'm okay.

Take it easy
with the baby stuff.

Sorry, sorry. Oh, come here.

-(KISSING NOISILY) My baby.
-Mom!

I know someone's dead

and their bones
fell on your face.

In my mouth! In my mouth!

Let's just be clear.
I tasted death.

I'm sorry you tasted death,
Louise, but this is bad.

I don't think they fill in
crime holes very quickly.

-Crime hole.
-Gene.

Oh, yeah, they're really slow.

Oh, hey, Sergeant Bosco.

Yeah, they brush the dirt away
with tiny little tools.

And their lunch break
takes forever,

'cause they use tiny forks.

I'm kidding
about the forks thing,

but yeah,
it's gonna take a while.

-Aw, nuts.
-(BOB SIGHS)

You know, they found a bullet
lodged in the ribs.

And I don't think
he fell on it,

if you know what I mean.

So, it's in front of your restaurant,
did you do it?

What? No!

Okay, easy. Just checking.

-You sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.

I don't know. One time
I saw him crumple a receipt

in a way that made me
uncomfortable.

-So much rage!
-Gene.

-Crime hole!
-Crime hole!

-Tina.
-Sorry.

Well, I'm gonna split.

Back to Robbery Division,
which is just

as good as Homicide,
maybe better.

Everyone says that.

Sometimes Homicide begs
for help from us Robbery guys.

Hey! Get out of here!
Get out of here, go!

(WHIMPERING)

All right, kids, you gotta
get out of here, too.

Go to school and don't go in
any more holes, you hear me?

And stay away from crevices.

Oh, my sweet baby.
Come here, come here!

-(KISSING NOISILY)
-Mom!

ANDY: You love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.

ANDY: And you love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.

ANDY: Time for us
to get married.

I do! I do! I do!

What are you looking at there?
A fun rock? (GASPS)

Louise, that's evidence!

You should have given that
to the police!

What? Tooth-ifer? No, no, no.
This is mine. I earned it.

When you go into a hole...

-Accidently fall into a hole.
-A-bup-bup!

Gracefully tumble in
while screaming?

Go into a hole,

you get to keep whatever lands
in your mouth. That's a rule.

That's true
under the bleachers, too!

Plus, look at it.

Isn't it the weirdest shaped
tooth you've ever seen?

Okay, maybe not too close.
(GAGS)

You can't handle the tooth!

It was in my mouth, Tina!

It's just, I think it's, like,

against the law
for you to have that.

Don't worry.
It's just a souvenir.

I'll keep it to myself.

Check it, people.

-A dead man's tooth.
-(ALL GASP)

And she's showing
the whole school.

I went down
to the sinkhole at night,

found a skeleton,
this tooth fell in my mouth.

Did somebody say
that's badass?

Like the ultimate
dead man's drop?

I mean, I guess,
maybe, I don't know.

It was very dramatic,

-and we got it all on tape.
-Oh!

But we gotta get it
transferred to a format

that anyone else
in the world has.

I think my dad has
that kinda player.

This just looks like
that kind.

Questions?

Oh, my God,
Eli put his retainer

on a chain and gave it to you?

So romantic.

Yeah, we're gonna be
summer boyfriend-girlfriend.

JOCELYN: Wait, but doesn't he,
like, need it?

TAMMY: What are you, a doctor?

JOCELYN: I don't know.
TAMMY: Where's your pager?

Hmm, maybe this is a good time
to bring this baby out.

Cafeteria,
pretty magical setting.

Just gotta untangle it
a little bit,

and then it's time
for that special moment.

JIMMY JR.: Hey, Zeke, throw
a chicken nugget in my mouth.

Okay.

Ow. Throw it again.

Ow. Throw it again.

God, he's still trying
to catch

that chicken nugget
in his mouth.

His whole eighth grade year.

-Ow. Throw it again.
-Should we just not do this?

No, I wanna be able to say

I caught a chicken nugget
in my mouth.

More than anything.

Otherwise,
this has all been a waste.

I see your point.
We'll get you there.

(SIGHS) Maybe now's not right.
He's got a lot going on.

But still excited about this.
Whoo-hoo.

And that's why I'm starting
my foundation, Sinkhole Kids.

It's to help kids
who've been in sinkholes.

It changes you.
Some people can't handle it.

Fourth graders,
why are you not sitting down?

Or are you sitting?

It's hard to tell.
You're all so small.

-Hey!
-Oh, Louise,

I have been meaning
to ask you,

where'd you get your hat?

I want to get one like that
for my niece.

She's three
and she loves bunnies.

-(CHLOE GIGGLING)
-Back off, Labonz.

What? I'm trying
to cheer her up.

Potty training's
not going well.

-(LOUISE GRUNTS)
-It's nasty.

Oh, hello, Louise.

Did you have a nice,
nutritious meal?

-(LOUISE GROWLS)
-(GASPS)

Stupid Chloe Barbash,
laughing. I'll laugh at her.

She's not gonna laugh at me.

-What?
-Nothing.

Okay, uh, call me back.
Thank you. Bye.

So, how many times is it okay

to call your landlord
and leave a message?

Depends.
Does he like-like you?

I still can't believe
we were livin'

above a dead body
this whole time.

I couldn't even tell.

I wonder who the skeleton was.

George Washington?

I can't think
of any other dead people.

Well, whoever it was,
they were murdered to death,

then buried to death
by a murderer-burier.

And a Scorpio, probably.

I'm gonna call him
one more time.

-(ALL PROTESTING)
-Easy, Bob, easy.

Lin, we have to pay the bank.

You shout that a lot now.

We only have four days left.

There's no way we can pay rent

and come up
with the bank's money.

We haven't sold any burgers.

Teddy's had a lot of burgers.

Right. We haven't sold
any burgers

to someone besides Teddy.

Oh, my God. Look it. They're
talking about our hole.

The skeleton discovered

earlier this morning
under Ocean Avenue

has been identified

as missing Wonder Wharf
employee, Daniel DeAngelo,

widely known to park customers
as Cotton Candy Dan.

Cotton Candy Dan?

Is that the guy
who sold corndogs?

Mom, shush.

Police sources tell
Channel Six news

that a suspect is being taken
into custody tonight.

A-ha! There you go.
They have a suspect.

Now they'll un-crime scene
our hole and fill it in.

And Mr. Fischoeder
will call us back too,

and he'll tell us
we can slide on the rent,

and we'll be on easy street.

If easy street
had a big hole in it, huh?

(SIGHS) Maybe you're right.

Sorry. Sorry,
I was freaking out.

Sorry, everybody.

Something's just come in.
This is breaking news.

Wonder Wharf owner,
Calvin Fischoeder,

has been arrested

and charged with the murder

-of Cotton Candy Dan.
-(ALL GASP)

-What the...
-Oh, my God.

Okay, that's not good.

We now go live
to police headquarters.

REPORTER: Mr. Fischoeder,
do you have

any comments for us
at this time?

I haven't killed any carnies.

There. I think that clears
everything up.

I refer all further questions

to my personal attorney

and personal cousin,
Grover Fischoeder.

My client is innocent
and we're gonna prove it.

Yeah, sure,
a bullet from my brother's gun

-was found in the guy's body.
-Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

FELIX: And sure, a lot of
people heard him yelling,

"I'm going to kill you,
carnie,

"and I'm going to bury
your body

"where no one can find it."
Sure.

-GROVER: Uh... Yeah.
-But who among us

hasn't said those exact words

while gambling with carnies
on a stormy night, huh?

Uh, no one.
We've all said those words.

(SIGHS) Maybe we'll be
his one phone call?

Oh, the weather.

(FORECASTER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)

TEDDY: Hey, Wharfiversary
stuff's still going on.

I heard they're doing
half-priced rides

and free popcorn.

Yeah, kinda busy out there.

TEDDY: Hmm, people do not seem
to mind going to a park

owned by a murderer.

LINDA: If only we could get
to the people.

Why can't restaurants
move around, you know?

-Just hop over the hole.
-Huh.

Why can't buildings
have little legs?

That'd be cute. Yeah.

Or motors, and wheels?

That's cars.

Oh, yeah. That's cars.

(DRAWLING) Oh, God.

Oh, no.

-Oh, boy.
-Is Dad okay?

Oh, no.

-Oh, no, no, no.
-LINDA: Um...

Dad, I don't wanna stop
your flow,

but can you pass the pilaf?

-Oh, God.
-That's butter.

You know what? Butter's better.

(CONTINUES DRAWLING) Oh, no.

How you doin' there, big guy?

(SIGHS) I don't know.

I mean, I held it together

in front of the kids
during dinner,

but I'm really worried.

Oh, yeah? I couldn't tell.

It's just our landlord's
gonna go to prison.

The bank's gonna
call in our loan,

and then they'll take
our restaurant stuff,

and we will live in a box
on the street.

This is what's gonna happen.

Oh, Bob, I need you.
The kids need you.

What do you mean?
You and the kids need me

to not go out of business.

No. Going out of business
down there is not as bad

as going out of business
in there.

My soft pec?

No, your heart.

Look, I know
you're Droopy Bob right now.

But you know who else
is in there? Dreamy Bob.

The guy who wanted to open
a restaurant

in the first place,

slap his name on it,

make cuckoo crazy burgers
with wild ingredients.

A new one every day.

I did not say
"cuckoo crazy" burgers.

I would not say that.

You know what I mean.
Super funky burgers.

Well, no matter what I said,

I think that maybe
Dreamy Bob is dumb

and Droopy Bob just kinda
sees things the way they are.

You know what you gotta do
to Droopy Bob?

Um, what?

You gotta punch him
in the nuts, like this.

-Ow!
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

But you know what I'm saying.
It's like a metaphor.

-Like this.
-Ow!

Stop! It's not a metaphor
if you actually do it.

Yes, it is.

I'm going to sleep.
Good night.

And, hey, who knows,

maybe Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.

He gets out, we put that wink
in the bank.

I don't know if he's innocent,
but he is going to prison.

Well, at least
the other prisoners

will like his eyepatch.

That's a good look for prison.

You know,
conversation starter.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Bye, kids. Have fun at school.

Gene, I hope we do okay
on that math homework.

I was really wingin' it. Four.

I hope so too. Good guess.

(GENE AND TINA YELP)

All right.
Emergency kid meeting.

What? Now? Here?

Yeah, we gotta talk.

Outdoor, before school,
emergency kid meeting?

Is this about
whatever's going on

with Tina's bangs right now?

I've been wanting to fix them
all morning.

-Wait, what?
-LOUISE: No, listen.

I heard Mom and Dad
talking last night.

The restaurant
is in big trouble.

-Boy trouble? Girl trouble?
-All the trouble.

Mr. Fischoeder
can't go to prison.

If he does,
Mom and Dad won't be able

to pay the bank,
and then that's it.

No more restaurant.

And what are we gonna do
with Mom and Dad after school

if there's no more restaurant?

-Huh.
-Sign them up for sports?

But the good news is,

I think Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.

Innocent? But what about
how guilty he is?

Well, why was he so relaxed
about that hole?

If you had buried a guy
in that exact spot,

wouldn't you be a little more
anxious to fill it in?

Or at least go sneak
that sucker out of there

and stick them somewhere else?

Like how you re-hide
your journal every night?

No, I don't.

So, here's the plan.

We need to skip school...

-No.
-Yes.

We need to gather evidence,
talk to witnesses.

We need to start now.

But, Louise,
if you don't think

Mr. Fischoeder did it,
who did?

Here's what I'm thinking.

This was actually a beef
between two carnies.

-Beef con carnie.
-LOUISE: Mm-hmm.

You get your hands
on Fischoeder's gun,

you settle your score
with Cotton Candy Dan,

you just got away with murder.

So, what do we do
with that theory?

Turn it into a graphic novel.

LOUISE: No, we go talk
to our old pal Mickey.

He's a carnie now.

He probably knows
all the carnie gossip.

And I brought all the gear
we'll need.

Snacks, gum, night light.

Oh, snacks. I'm in.

-Night light?
-Yeah. In case it gets dark.

I thought we were doing this
during school time.

I don't know
why I mentioned the light.

Let's just get our bikes,
shall we?

(SIGHS) Fine. I did forget
to do a bunch of homework.

Great. So, we have to get past
the back door

without Mom and Dad seeing us.

Stay low, follow my lead.
Try to look like alley trash.

GENE: Or raccoon poop.

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS)
We did that really well.

All right.
Save Mr. Fischoeder,

save the restaurant,
solve a murder.

On three. One, two, three.

ALL: Save Mr. Fischoeder,

save the restaurant,
solve a murder.

And prove we're not babies,
and Chloe Barbash is dumb.

Okay, let's move.

This is how Law and Order
should start. Every time.

LOUISE: Hi,
we're looking for Mickey.

-Mickey?
-LOUISE: Yeah. Mickey.

Brown hair, used to rob banks,
nice guy. Works here now.

No, I know Mickey.
He owes me three seventy-five.

-Dollars?
-And seventy-five.

-Cents?
-Yeah, cents.

LOUISE: Where is he working
today? Scream-i-cane?

Ah, he's off
till second shift.

Do you know where he lives?

We could probably remind him
about the three seventy-five?

He lives in Carniapolis.

Most of the carnies
live in Carniapolis.

That makes sense.

Where is Carniapolis?

Hang a left
at the old dog food building.

But don't go there.

-Don't go there?
-The dog food building?

Yeah, down past the stadium.

You'll smell it, then go left.
But seriously, don't go there.

Uh, is there a reason you keep
saying, "Don't go there"?

-Because you shouldn't.
-Okey dokey.

Just wanted to clarify,
but, um, why should we...

Hi, is the park open?

No, I'm just here 'cause
I'm trapped inside this booth.

Yes, we're open.
All rides half off today.

The only crime would be

to not take advantage
of these prices.

Okay, new sign.
I think this is the one.

-"We have a 'hole' new look."
-BOB: Mm.

"Come on in through the alley.

"It's not weird.
Love, Linda and Bob."

BOB: I guess
that's professional.

"P.S., alley smells like pee,
restaurant is fine."

(MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, Bob. Dirt.

-BOB: Dirt?
-Dirt.

BOB: (GRUNTS) I'm getting up.

Oh, dirt. They're gonna
fill in the hole.

LINDA: Yeah. Look at them.

LINDA: (GASPS) Uh...

-Where are they going?
-BOB: They are leaving.

LINDA: And they're
leaving the dirt?

BOB: They are
leaving the dirt.

Do we put it in
ourselves, or...

They probably have
someone else coming.

-A dirt installer?
-Mm.

It's nice.
It's like a little mountain.

I don't like it. I think
it should be in the hole.

-LINDA: Mm.
-Bob. Linda. Come. Come see.

Uh...

(IMITATES FANFARE) I call it
the Mobile Bob Burger Mobile.

So, you can sell burgers
in the street.

You could go anywhere.
Hot street meat.

It's my grill from home,
but I upgraded the wheels,

and I put these bars on it
so you can move it.

-LINDA: Oh, wow. Uh-huh.
-It's got a cooler for drinks.

-Got a little umbrella here.
-Ah!

You got a place to keep buns
and toppings.

I figure, you grill,
Linda serves,

and I'll push it around
for you.

So, I'll be there
the whole time with you guys,

keeping the banter going,

being part of
each other's lives.

You know, laughing,
loving, learning.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.

It's so nice of you
to do this. But we...

we don't have a license
to sell food on the street.

We could get fined.

(CHUCKLES) Nah.

I'll keep an eye out
for the cops.

-I don't think we can...
-LINDA: I love it.

-Wait, what'd you say?
-I love it.

Right? You can't get
the people to your burgers,

you bring the burgers to them.

(SIGHS) I feel like
we're just skipping over

my "we don't have a license"
comment.

Oh, come on, Bob.
It's not a law, right?

It's like I'm supposed
to wear a hairnet

when I work in the kitchen,
but I never do.

That's a law. Also a law.
They're both laws.

Bob, we have to sell

-some burgers today, right?
-Yes.

LINDA: We got four days
to pay the bank.

-That's true.
-Come on.

Okay, fine. But only because
we're desperate.

This place can't close.

I can't live
if livin' is without you.

-Teddy. I said we could do it.
-Oh, good.

Let's light
this sucker up, huh?

-You got it.
-(ALL YELP)

No problem. No problem.

Just gotta check the gas line.

Might have had it up
a little bit high. (CHUCKLES)

You guys meet me back here
with some ground beef,

and some comfortable shoes,

and maybe an apron for me

so we all kinda have
a uniform.

Oh, that gives me an idea.

Bob, I gotta go up
to the apartment real quick.

-Be right back.
-Okay, Bob, grab your meat.

Please don't shout that at me.

Right, right.
(WHISPERS) Grab your meat.

Smells like the most stuff
you can grind up to make food.

TINA: Oh, look,
that was their slogan.

GENE: Huh.

TINA: This doesn't look right.
No one lives here.

GENE: I don't know why.
It's beautiful.

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

LOUISE: Whoa, you hear that?

TINA: Huh. They sound cranky.

LOUISE: Let's check it out.
TINA: Oh, okay.

I miss school.

I'm feeling suddenly
like I love fractions.

TINA: Yeah, I wanna learn
about photosynthesis

so badly right now.

If this is Carniapolis,

maybe we shouldn't disturb

their scary sounding
carnie time?

I mean, it's a little like
they're deciding who to shiv

and if they see us, they'll be
like, "Oh, let's shiv them."

But you know, maybe not.

(INDISTINCT YELLING
CONTINUES)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

TINA: Are they playing a game
with duckies?

GENE: Adorably?

Lucky ducky. Lucky ducky.
Damn.

-Kids.
-Hi, Mickey.

How's it going?

You here to buy drugs?
You don't buy drugs.

I can't even swallow pills.

We have to hide them
in his food.

We, uh, wanted to ask you
some questions.

Mickey, your turn.

Oh. Can you skip me?

We play lucky ducks,
but we play carnie rules.

TINA: Seems fun.

There's more beer and yelling

than when kids play it
at Wonder Wharf.

Yeah, well, we're toasting
Cotton Candy Dan.

That's why we're also gambling

and pushing each other
and punching each other.

The first shift folks
made a nice little memorial

to put on the pier
in his old spot.

And us second shift folks
are, uh, doing this.

Uh-huh.

-(WHISPERS) Just ask him.
-(WHISPERS) I will.

But pretty soon, right?

Give me a second.
I can't just say,

"Hey, Mickey, which carnie
killed Cotton Candy Dan?"

Wait, did you say,

"Which carnie killed
Cotton Candy Dan?"

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

LOUISE: It did sound
like that, didn't it?

You come in to Carniapolis

and accuse a carnie
of killing another carnie?

I think that's right.
Is that right?

You know, it's bad enough

that Mr. Fischoeder
kills one of us,

which is bad boss alert,
am I right?

-Yeah.
-But to throw it back on us?

Hey, hey, they're just kids.

Kid cops. Little kid cops.
They have those, you know?

For going into small spaces
and hiding in boxes.

Nah, I know these guys.

They're not cops.
They're little burger babies.

-(LOUISE GROWLS)
-Maybe don't use that word.

What? "Burger"? Sorry.
Meat patties?

It's just too much.

First Fischoeder kills
Cotton Candy Dan, now this?

I may have a tattoo
of a dagger

stabbing a heart
going up into his skull

and it says "dead inside,"
but I have feelings, you know?

(SINGING) Some lucky ducks
get all the luck

Some break their backs
to make a buck

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
-And sure, we are a bunch

Of shady criminal-ish
gents and ladies

-But we did our time
-Yeah

-We paid for our crimes
-Well, most of us.

And our misdemeanors

Now we sell fried dough
and wieners

Even though we're
kinda sketchy gals and fellas

Doesn't mean that Fischoeder

-Can go and kill us
-Uh-uh!

Working here can really be

-A roller coaster
-CARNIE: Hup!

One day you're cleaning vomit

Next you're
on a missing poster

It's such a drag

To have a boss

-Who pays you bad
-Who pays us bad

Then bumps you off

Some lucky ducks

-Get all the luck
-Oh, yes, they do

-But that's not us
-No, sir.

-Unlucky schmucks
-Sing it.

It really stinks

-(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
-It really sucks

So we'll just play
our lucky ducks

Cool. Have fun with that.

Should we get going?

(SINGING) Some lucky ducks
get all the luck

You've said your piece,
now listen up

To me, your life,
it seems just fine

You think that's bad?
Try being nine

The other day,
things got real crazy

A girl at school
called me a baby

-(ALL GASP)
-What?

Yeah.

Even though I'm small,
well, I can tell you for sure

I'm gonna be the one

That solves
this frickin' murder

I know you all think
Fischoeder's the one

Who did it

But I will find the evidence
to get him acquitted

-I'm just a kid
-ALL: It's such a drag

-That's what they say
-To have a boss

-Now run along
-Who pays you bad

-Now go and play
-Then bumps you off

-Some lucky ducks
-It really stinks

-Get all the luck
-It really sucks

-Until I show
-So we'll just play

-Them what is what
-Our lucky ducks

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

I'm gonna show them

-All what I can do
-(CARNIES VOCALIZING)

Gonna show 'em
I'm much braver than what you

Think that I am, even though I'm small

No matter whatever, gonna show you all

LOUISE: Come on.
We don't need their help.

TINA: Have a nice day.

See, they're not cops.

Cops don't dance around
like that.

They dance like this.
(GRUNTS)

LOUISE: (SCOFFS)
More like Carni-crapolis.

GENE: I liked it.

I think I'm gonna have
my next birthday party there.

TINA: Oh, good idea.

Yeah, the theme's gonna be
"disgruntled."

That's nice.

Um... Am I being paranoid,

or is that big scary carnie
following us?

(GASPS)
Maybe he just remembered

that he forgot to murder us.

-Oh, God.
-Quick, this way.

(ALL PANTING)

TINA: Dead end.

GENE: That's worse
than split ends.

Uh, Tina,
why'd you say go this way?

-TINA: I didn't.
-(ALL SCREAM)

(GASPS) Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to scare you.

No, no, of course not.

Just following kids
into alleys.

Everybody loves that.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Is there something
we can do for you?

You were asking who wanted
to kill Cotton Candy Dan?

No, I mean, before.

But not anymore.
We've moved on.

I got something to tell you.

I didn't wanna say it
back there.

They don't wanna hear
what I gotta say.

We're listening.

But maybe not making
eye contact.

I was there that night,
you know?

The last night anyone saw Dan.

-You were?
-Yeah.

We were playing lucky ducky
on the wharf.

And sure,
Dan and Mr. Fischoeder

got into a big fight.

Mr. Fischoeder started
throwing ducks at Dan's head.

He kept yelling "duck,"
and it was confusing.

I can see that.

Anyway, after the game,
I went back

'cause I forgot
my stress ball.

And it's just Dan,
Mr. Fischoeder,

and Felix Fischoeder,

and they're yelling
at each other,

and they're all
throwing ducks.

Wait. Felix was at the game?

No. He wasn't.

Mr. Fischoeder doesn't let him
play lucky ducky

because Felix gives
all the duckies

different voices
and personalities

and it makes it take a while.

That's why it was weird
that he showed up that night.

But nobody back there
wants to hear

that maybe Mr. Fischoeder
didn't do it.

Oh, my God. Of course.

Felix Fischoeder.
It's so Felix.

He has access
to Mr. Fischoeder's gun.

He was fighting
with both Mr. Fischoeder

and Cotton Candy Dan.

And most importantly,
he has a motive.

He has a motive
to frame his brother.

Because he's mad

Mr. Fischoeder doesn't like
his lucky ducky voices?

No, because I bet you

if Mr. Fischoeder goes
to jail, Felix gets his money.

We gotta go to the cops.

Oh. Uh, mind if I don't go
to the cops?

I have to pick up
my dry cleaning,

because it's dry now.

-LOUISE: Yeah, no problem.
-Okay.

LOUISE: Let's go,
let's go, let's go.

GENE: Thank you, scary carnie.
Love you. Bye.

CARNIE: Bye.

TEDDY: Well,
everything fits perfectly.

What's this for?

-Olive bar.
-What?

I thought you could have
imported olives,

and they could go there.

-Oh. I'm not sure...
-While you wait for a burger,

you help yourself
to an imported olive.

Okay.

I got these on my way over.
You can pay me later.

-Mm.
-Mobile Bob Burger Mobile

is a little fancier
than restaurant Bob Burgers.

You'll get used to it.

Where's Linda? I feel like
she's missing all the fun

of us setting up
this cart together.

Ta-da!

-What's happening?
-I get it.

No questions from this guy.

I'm the marketing department.

I took Gene's burger suit,

let out the crotch
a little bit, and bam.

I'll push the product,
while you push the cart.

-But the bikini.
-It's summer.

-And sex sells, baby.
-Yeah, Bob.

Is that sex?
A burger with a bikini on it?

-Uh, yeah.
-LINDA: Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's do it.

-Yay.
-All right.

-I dreamt this.
-Oh. No, don't tell us.

No, it was nice.

Linda wasn't in it. It was
just a burger in a bikini.

BOB: Yeah,
still don't tell us.

TEDDY: I'm so happy right now.
Let's go save your restaurant!

-Sergeant Bosco.
-(SPLUTTERS)

-Holy smokes, you scared me.
-Sorry. Sorry.

Don't sneak up on a cop.

That's our job.
We sneak up on you.

Why are you here?

We went to the police station,
where you live, I assume.

But nobody from Homicide
would talk to us.

So, then we went to look
for you in Robbery,

but they said
you were on a stakeout.

And they told you where I was?

They said you were
at a dangerous

biker gang headquarters,

and we said,
"The One Eyed Snakes"?

And they said, "Yeah,"

and we said,
"Oh, we know those guys."

And they were like, "What?"

And we were like,
"Yeah, they're really nice."

Get down, get down.
(SHUSHING)

GENE: You get down.
TINA: (WHISPERS) Gene.

GENE: (WHISPERING) Sorry.
We are also getting down.

What are we looking for?

(WHISPERS) Bikers.

Right. But, doing what?

We got a tip that they stole
a bunch of karaoke machines,

and I'm watching to see if
they try and move the goods.

That doesn't seem like
their kind of crime.

CRITTER: (SINGING)
Come on, shake your body

Baby, do the conga

You know you can't control
yourself any longer

-Oh, okay.
-SERGEANT BOSCO: Mm-hmm.

Anyway, we're here to tell you

that the police
have the wrong guy.

Mr. Fischoeder didn't kill
Cotton Candy Dan.

His brother, Felix, did.

Wait, aren't you kids supposed
to be in that place

with the books and
adults that tell you stuff?

-Adult bookstore?
-No.

-School?
-Yeah. School.

Some of us think
we are supposed to be

in school right now. Yes.

Tina, the restaurant,
remember?

If Mr. Fischoeder
goes to jail,

the restaurant goes under.

Down under.

Where the didgeridoo
whatever they're gonna do.

(GRUNTS) Get out.

Get out of my unmarked
stakeout vehicle.

Go catch tadpoles
or whatever kids do.

-Go catch tadpoles?
-Yeah.

-Tadpoles?
-Yeah.

The things
that turn into frogs.

We know what they are.

I was pretty sure.
Not bad to clarify.

-We're city folk.
-Oh, I see.

-You're just Robbery.
-SERGEANT BOSCO: Mm.

You couldn't help
even if you wanted to.

Because it's a homicide.

You don't know anything
about that case, do you?

I know stuff.
I know all the stuff.

Name one stuff.

I know something
that's not in the papers.

-(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.
-I do.

They found a cufflink
in the hole, near the body.

-Yeah?
-A very unique cufflink.

Custom. It's a banana
wearing a graduation hat.

-Hmm, classy.
-Carnies don't wear cufflinks.

True. Lotta tank tops.

I know carnies
don't wear cufflinks.

They searched
Fischoeder's house,

but they haven't found
the other one.

-Huh.
-Yeah.

But I bet they didn't
search Felix's.

We need to go to Felix's place
and look for that cufflink.

Go, go, go.

Hate it. Terrible plan.
Don't like it.

Oh, good.
Looks like you're taking

your annoying conversation
somewhere else. Bye.

Sergeant Bosco,
you know you left the light

on the top of your car.

Huh? What?
Oh, damn it. Son of a...

Argh. Okay.
At least no one saw.

They don't know I'm here.

Get away. Get away.
Shoo. Shoo.

Hey, kids.
Hey, Louise.

-LOUISE: Hey, Critter.
-You bothering

-that nice policeman?
-No.

I'm not a policeman.
What are you...

Son of a...
Dang nab.

Oh, my bad. You're just
a regular guy. I'm sorry.

Your badge
is on the dashboard.

Can they see that?

And your coffee says
"Sergeant Bosco" on it.

All right, get away.

Fresh hot burgers.
Sexy burgers.

-BOB: Lin.
-What?

(SINGING)
You wanna eat a burger

Does she look like
a weird streetwalker?

Not too much.

-How's the burger?
-It's great.

I've never
eaten outside before.

-Wait, what?
-MAN: Hi.

-Are you selling burgers?
-We are.

I'll take a cheeseburger.

What was it?
What made you want a burger?

I was hungry.

-And then you saw a...
-Cart.

And a person dressed as a...

She's not with us. Shoo, shoo.

Oh, Bob.

Fresh hot burgers.
Sexy burgers. Fresh hot...

(GASPS) Bob, it's Hugo.

TEDDY:
Hugo the health inspector?

Oh, God. They know we don't
have a license to do this.

Um, did you mean for me
to hear that?

Shh! Crouch down.

Okay, but I feel
a little weird about it.

It's just quite a coincidence,
that's all.

I start using chapstick,
and then, all of a sudden,

you start using chapstick?

Why can't you just
be flattered?

-Oh, fine, use it.
-Oh, thank God.

(WHISPERING)
They're gonna see us.

Let's hide in Wonder Wharf.
Teddy, let's move.

I'm still eating my burger.

Do I go, too?

Yes, stay low.

Are you coming, Ron?

Sorry, putting on
my chapstick.

HUGO: Hmm.

Hmm?

Hmm.

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS) Treehouse. Go.

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Hmm. Hmm.

Heaven?
Sounds like heaven.

I think she's saying
we're number one.

But we're
"not all there, upstairs."

Oh, my God. I'm saying
let's go up the ladder

and listen for Felix,
and see if he's in there.

-Oh, that makes more sense.
-TINA: Mm-hmm.

(IN ADULT-LIKE VOICE)
Felix Fischoeder?

That treehouse hot tub
you ordered is here.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Okay, he's not home.

Oh, God.

People, we are looking
for a banana cufflink.

An educated banana cufflink.

Also, we might be
in a murderer's house,

just an FYI.

Yep, yep. If he comes home,
you fight him.

TINA: Uh...

(DOG CARNIE GRUNTING
RHYTHMICALLY)

DOG CARNIE: Oh. Ooh.

BOB: Okay, uh,
do we go back out now?

See if the coast is clear?

Or do we stay here?
Sell these folks some burgers?

Um, I mean...

What? Let them throw up
our food on the rides.

Hey, look.

Bob Burgers is getting
a little bit of a line.

LINDA: No.
We are not Bob Burgers.

We work here now.

(GRUNTS) At the wharf.

I mean, we don't.

But, I guess we could stay
for a little bit.

Also, we were never
Bob Burgers.

Hello, ma'am. Sir.

You can order anything

from the top-third of
the front of the menu there,

and anything from the left
side of the middle section

on the back of the menu.

And you are welcome

to an imported olive
while you wait.

Can I get the toothpick back
when you're done?

Bob's looking at me funny.

Never mind.
That is yours to keep.

(SIGHS) I don't think
it's here.

We looked everywhere.

It's definitely not

in this soft,
soft cashmere sweater

that I'm just rubbing
and rubbing.

Or is it? Better keep looking.

(GRUNTS HAPPILY)

FELIX: (MUFFLED)
Yeah, I just got home.

(GASPS) Crap, he's home.
Quick, hide.

FELIX: Are you at your house?

(TINA WHIMPERING)

(WHISPERING)
We all did a terrible job.

Gene, you're just standing
against the wall.

(WHISPERING)
Where he'd least suspect.

Crap.
Everybody into the closet.

FELIX:
I'm just going upstairs.

Gonna get some stuff
out of the closet.

-(ALL GASP)
-Crap. Everybody out.

What about there?

LOUISE: Yes, quick.
Go, go, go.

This is lovely.

-Shh!
-All right.

Don't look, don't look,
don't look, don't look.

-Okay, now look.
-FANNY: No.

-Fanny. Fashion show.
-No.

-Yes. Look.
-No, I'm sleepy.

(WHISPERS) Is that Fanny?
I thought she was in jail.

I guess she's out, and they're
trying to make it work.

I mean, the chemistry's there.

Fanny, Fanny,
Fanny, Fanny, Fanny.

This is my travel outfit.
Look.

-You'll love it. Look, look.
-Uh-uh.

Come on.

Fleeing the country
is a once in a lifetime thing.

We deserve
to look good doing it.

I don't wanna flee
the country. It's too far.

Oh, wait, that's cute.

Yay. Okay.
What are you gonna wear?

A hat that looks like shorts,

and shorts
that look like a hat.

-Okay.
-It works. Trust me.

Should we talk and pack or...

-Bye.
-Okay.

All right,
I'll meet you at the place.

(SINGING) Fleeing the country,
fleeing the country

Fleeing the country

Felix and Fanny
framed Fischoeder,

and now they're fleeing
the freaking country.

I can't believe it.

Mm, little stuffy in here.

-Opening these guys.
-(TINA GASPS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(WHISPERING) I think we can
climb down from here.

Tina, you go first.

What?
Oh, God.

(WHIMPERING)

GENE: Mm.

(GENE GRUNTING)

LOUISE: Weird place
to put your dirty dishes.

TINA: I mean,
he is a murderer. Maybe.

Yeah, murderers probably leave

their dishes
all over the place.

Gene, try that door.

(GENE GASPS)

Gene, what did you do?

I don't know. (WHIMPERS)

This is gonna help me
with childbirth later in life.

(GRUNTS) Thank you.

Okay, I have some questions
about this moving balcony.

LOUISE: I think it's how
he gets his meals

and sends back his dishes.

GENE: Oh, then I love it.
(GASPS)

Suitcase, suitcase,
you're gonna fly.

Oh, my God.
He's gonna see us.

(GASPS)

(ALL STRAINING QUIETLY)

What am I forgetting?
Have my mints.

Packed my sleeping shorts.

(CLICKING TONGUE)
Ah, I'm good.

My wet wipes.

Ah, I can hire a wet wiper
when I get there.

LOUISE: Oh, thank God.

But he's gonna get away.
We gotta follow him.

Nope. Doesn't sound right.

Gene, back me up on this.

You can hire a wet wiper?

(ALL GRUNT)

I'm okay.

All right.
We'll follow him,

and call the police
when we see what his plan is.

GENE: I want
a moving dish balcony.

Here you go. Totally normal
Wonder Wharf burger.

We've sold a lot of food.

Teddy, this cart is perfect.

I mean, not perfect,
but it's great.

(SNIFFLING) No big deal.
Just helping out a friend.

But, maybe we should
move around a little bit.

So we don't get caught
doing this.

We're not gonna get caught.
Bob, we fit right in.

A family just took
a picture with me.

No, I saw that.

A family was surprised when
you jumped in their picture.

A lucky family.

Please,
can we move to be safe?

-Oh, fine.
-TEDDY: Let's do it.

We're moving locations,
people.

-Lin, shh.
-Oh, Bob. Relax.

-Everything's going great.
-(OBJECTS SHATTER)

-What was that?
-Back it up. Back it up.

It's some cotton candy,
and a picture, and a candle...

(GASPS) It's a little shrine
for Cotton Candy Dan.

-Oh, no.
-Uh, it's fine.

I'm gonna put it
all back together over here.

Okay, that's broken.
Oh. Oops.

That's not gonna stand up.

It's all right.
Nobody saw, right?

-What the...
-LINDA: Oh, boy.

TEDDY: Uh-oh.

-BOB: Oh, crap.
-Are you kidding me?

Well, why was it
on the ground like that?

'Cause that was his spot.

Okay, yeah.
That's a good reason.

We worked really hard
on that memorial. Kinda.

Also, who are you?

Nobody.

Is that guy
picking up a lead pipe?

Oh, it's a hotdog. Still.

BOB: We should maybe
leave the park.

We can't get to the exit.
We'd have to get through him.

Oh, my God.
Okay, uh, new idea.

Linda, Teddy,
let's, uh, just run.

LINDA: Yep. Yep.
We're running.

FELIX: Excuse me. Whoopsie.
Pa-pa-pap-pap-pap.

LOUISE: Why is Felix
going into Wonder Wharf

if he wants to flee
the country?

Is Wonder Wharf
in international waters?

Maybe he wants to win
a goldfish real quick.

No bikes on the pier.

LOUISE: Yeah, no, we know.

We're friends now though,

so, it's okay, right?
Yeah, thank you.

I know that Felix
is a murderer,

but it's kinda sweet
that he and Fanny

are gonna flee
the country together.

It's a real he-fled,
she-fled situation.

What? Tina, get your head
outta your boobs.

Right. Right.

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

-Hey, Tina...
-(GASPS)

...you're not really thinking

about Felix and Fanny,
are you?

Fantasy Jimmy Jr.,
what are you doing here?

You're thinking about me.
You're thinking about this.

Boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Holy crap.

Phew!
I don't have time for this.

But that question
you wanna ask me.

You're not nervous
that I'll say no.

You're nervous
that I'll say yes.

And that real me

is just never gonna be
as good as fantasy me.

-Dang it, Jimmy Jr., not now.
-(YELPS)

-Oh, sorry.
-FANTASY JIMMY JR.: I'm okay.

Tina, focus.

Yep. Coming. Here I am.

Ugh, we lost him. Great.

There's the bandshell.

See ya soon, Shelly.
We're gonna rock so hard.

Lot of confidence here,

despite what some robots
may say.

-TINA: What?
-Nothing.

Look, the golf cart.

And he's parked
in front of the funhouse

like a true criminal.

Well, what's he doing
in there?

(SINGING) A lovely bunch
of sailors dancing in a row

I knew I looked good.

LOUISE: Get down.

FELIX: Beep-beep, ba-boop,
ba-beep. Thank you.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

(ALL PANTING)

FELIX: And...

Oh. Parked.

(HUMMING)

(GRUNTS)

LOUISE: The Molehill? Ugh.

I like the Molehill.

It's the ride they recommend
for grandparents

and people
with heart problems.

I go on it with Dad.

BOTH: Whee.

What's happening in there?

-Moles got him, probably.
-Come on.

TINA: (GRUNTS)
Stupid kickstand. Wait up.

I don't hear anything.

Well, it says
"do not enter," so I...

Oh, you're going in.

What the...

Where the hell did he go?

Ooh, buttons.

You know what I like to do
with these?

Gene, no. Jeez, good thing
you didn't push that one.

-Mm! Hello, lover.
-TINA: No, no, no, no, no.

-(BUTTON CLICKS)
-(ALL SCREAMING)

GENE: Wow.

(SIGHS) I think we lost them.
I think we're good.

Sheesh, you knock over
one memorial.

Well, it was a nice thing
that they made

for their friend
who was murdered.

And we were pretending
that we work here,

and I guess,
taking money from them.

And I look like
a giant burger,

and you know,
maybe they're hungry.

CARNIE: There they are.
BOB: Oh, for Pete's sake.

TEDDY: Go, go, go, go, go.

BOB: Yep.
LINDA: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I have an idea. You guys
go left at the corner.

I'll take the cart
and go straight ahead.

-They'll follow the cart.
-BOB: I don't think

-that's gonna work.
-Good idea, Teddy. Thank you.

TEDDY: Take care of Linda
for me.

Turn here, turn here.

-BOB: Uh... All right.
-(TEDDY YELLS)

-(DOG CARNIE GRUNTS)
-Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Should we chase those guys?

-DOG CARNIE: Yeah.
-Come on, come on, come on.

BOB: Didn't work.

What is this place?

TINA: Did we go through
a time warp?

GENE: I bet we quantum leapt.

Where did Felix go?

Also, how do we get outta here
if he tries to kill...

-Children?
-(KIDS GASP)

Ew, what are you doing here?
Did you hear me go pee-pee?

-KIDS: Uh...
-CALVIN: Children? Ew.

LOUISE: Mr. Fischoeder.

What are you doing
in our secret clubhouse?

What are you doing
in your secret clubhouse?

I thought you were in jail.

-I posted bail.
-Jail bail.

Yep, had to. Those beds
were bad for my back.

How'd you get in here?

You were running around
up there

pressing buttons, weren't you?

Of course, we were.
They're buttons.

You pressed
the ouchies button?

Weren't you worried
about ouchies?

-Eh.
-Okay, well,

you can leave now. Bye.

Calvin and I have
some business things to do.

Mm. You have
creepy face again.

This is why I think
you should grow a beard.

You know I can't!

Sorry, can you give us a sec?
We just need to hug.

-We love each other.
-Gross.

(WHISPERS) Guys, we gotta
tell Mr. Fischoeder

that his brother framed him,

and then get him out of here

before Felix does
something bad to him.

TINA: This feels nice.

Yeah, we should do this
more often.

Okay, yeah, but save
the restaurant, remember?

Great hug.
Now, Mr. Fischoeder,

can we talk to you over here?

CALVIN: I don't hug.

GENE: Ooh, what's this thing?
LOUISE: Gene!

Oh, yes, my sweet old organ.

-GENE: Your wiener?
-(CALVIN SCATS)

CALVIN: That is
the Orchestramarama.

GENE: I love that.

-Interesting. Can I, uh...
-It is interesting.

This used to be
part of the old park.

-(LOUISE GROANS)
-This place was

the Orchestramaramatorium.

And it was the launch point
for our underwater ride,

Poseidon's Sea-cret,
spelled S-E-A,

which I'm just now getting.

Oh, yeah. (GRUNTS SOFTLY)

You see, when our father
bought the pier,

he built Wonder Wharf
on top of the old park,

and he hid this room away.

Sealed it up
under the Molehill.

-(MUSIC CHIMING)
-And ha-cha.

GENE: Ooh.
TINA: Whoa.

CALVIN: Mm,
the sea monsters win.

Those look like dolphins.

Well, dolphins were considered
monsters back then.

-Mr. Fischoeder...
-GENE: Quick question.

-Yes, boy Bob child.
-(LOUISE SIGHS)

Could our band borrow this
when we headline

at the Wonder Wharf bandshell
this summer?

I assume it's easy to move.

Follow-up question,
don't you think

that now that
we're borrowing this,

we should headline
at the bandshell this summer?

Ha! You're dreaming.

Johnny Jazz Hands
is the headliner.

Gene, stop getting distracted.

Ooh, wanna see our secret
mini-cars from the '50s

that we drive
in our secret under-pier?

GENE: Yes.
LOUISE: No, we don't.

Oh, goody.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, so this is here.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Excellent
for storage under piers.

Old ride parts over there.

Carousel horses!

Shh, I'm doing this tour.

Carousel horses over there.

We can get ice cream
any time we want.

Hello. Bye.

The stuffed animal
storage unit.

For when you need
a little snuggle.

Hmm, not as many in here
as I would have thought.

Maybe you're right, Felix.
Maybe they do come to life.

I told you.

This was our
daycare center-slash-bar.

Had to close it.

Yep, kids couldn't handle
their liquor.

Okay, now that we got that
out of our system...

Uh, Felix, is that a stain
on the back of your outfit?

Oh, God, no.

(GRUNTING)

Mr. Fischoeder, we have
to tell you something.

It's about Felix.

-We think that he's...
-(THUD)

(YELLING)

-(GRUNTS)
-CALVIN: Ah, Grover,

-nice of you to join us.
-(GROANING)

Will you ever not be awkward
when you come down that slide?

(GRUNTS) Someday. Heh.

I feel like
I'm getting better at it.

-Mm, no.
-FELIX: No, you're not.

-Mm, Orchestramarama time.
-FELIX: Mm-hmm.

Oh! Kids. (CHUCKLES)

It's so great
you have kids here.

Hi, kids. Sinkhole kids.

Hey, uh, lawyer guy,

you got a second
for some quick legal advice?

-Oh. (CHUCKLES)
-Sure you do.

We're just gonna chat
about a lawsuit I'm in.

Tina, you wanted
to talk to Felix

-about something?
-Mm-mm, no, I didn't.

No, no, no, no,
you should talk to him now.

Really? 'Cause I'd love
to not do that.

Tina, talk to Felix.
You'll be fine.

FELIX: Oh, like
you're such a treat.

TINA: Sorry, sorry.

Look, why don't
I give you my card

and you can... (GRUNTS)

(WHISPERING)
Felix killed Cotton Candy Dan.

He's framing his brother.

What? (SCOFFS)

No. No. (CHUCKLING)

Yes. We overheard him
planning to leave the country.

Well, that part's true.

They're both planning
to leave the country.

That's why they're here.
That's why I'm here.

They made me
bring them books on tape.

They're mostly
coloring books on tape.

I don't even know
how that works.

What the hell?
They're fleeing together?

That doesn't make any sense.

GENE: Shall I accompany you?

-CALVIN: No, thank you.
-Yes, thank you.

-No, thank you.
-Yes, thank you.

-No, thank you.
-(PLAYS ORGAN)

Ooh, I like that.
What did you just do?

Keep doing that.

(TINA DRONING)

Well, this is fun.

Oh, um, so,

have you heard... you...
from Fanny lately?

Yes, we're back together-ish.

That's good.
Is she less homicidal now?

Yes, much less homicidal.
Thanks for asking.

She's my little
Fanny Fanny boo-boo.

Aw, you really love her, huh?

More than I love
how I look in this outfit.

-(ORGAN CONTINUES PLAYING)
-(CALVIN CHEERING)

Hmm. But, what if
how you feel about her,

how you feel about love
doesn't ever match?

How it really is?
In real life?

Well, this got deep.

What if no one lives up
to anyone's expectations?

What if I'm just letting
a butt lead my heart

-down a dead-end road?
-(CALVIN CONTINUES CHEERING)

Boy, the energy over there
seems great, doesn't it?

Uh, stay in school.

(SINGS) La-la-la, la-la-la-la

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTS) Darn it.

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS) Oh, my God.

CALVIN: Let's play
something jazzy, shall we?

GENE: Oh, yes, I love jazz.

Oh, is that gonna
choke a fish?

Look, I don't know
what the deal is with Felix,

but you can't let them
leave the country.

Mr. Fischoeder's innocent.

But he said he's afraid
he can't beat the charge.

That's why they're fleeing
to Cuba. In their submarine.

What are you two hush-hushing
about over there?

Yeah. We can whisper too.

(MIMICS WHISPERING)

See? It's hurtful.

We're talking about
your "submarine"

which as your attorney
and your cousin,

I advise you not to use.

That thing works?

And goes places?

Uh, yeah. Jealous?
We tricked her out.

We knew we'd eventually
have to flee the country

for one reason or another.

We're naughty little Nellies.

This baby can even
play books on tape.

Grover, you bring the stuff?

-Yes.
-CALVIN: Oh, good.

-GENE: Yay.
-It's all online, you know.

How to convert a 1920s era
submarine-themed ride

into an almost-real submarine.

Some videos are better
than others.

Avoid Sub Dude's,
but overall pretty simple.

We shove off in an hour or so.

We're just waiting
for the tide.

That's something
submarine people say.

And some of us
will also be able to have

one last land poo.

That's another submarine term,
I think.

Yep, we'll be refueling
in a secret cove

near Myrtle Beach by midnight.

And picking up someone's
on-again off-again girlfriend.

-Ugh.
-Oh, shush, she's great.

Okay, I forbid this.

You are going to stay
in this country,

face trial,
prove your innocence,

and continue to be
our landlord

so we don't lose
our restaurant.

Great speech, Louise.
Thank you.

Yes. You're welcome.

If you do decide to stay,
we should start talking

-about your legal strategy.
-Boring.

-And your arraignment.
-Boring-er.

Grover, let me put this
on your head,

so we don't have to hear you

-talking, talking, talking.
-No, no, no, no, no.

FELIX: Yay, I did it.

-I put a helmet on our lawyer.
-Oh, my God.

You oughta be on an ottoman.

-LOUISE: (SIGHS) Oh, my God.
-(CALVIN SCATTING)

(MUFFLED) No. Don't. Stop.
Don't hit my...

Okay, nobody wants
to solve this crime,

and everyone is awful.

Oh, let's play that game

where we spin you around
till you fall over.

GROVER: No, no,
I don't like that game.

(SCOFFS)
Pictures of silly rich people

who just go to Cuba whenever
they get charged with murder.

-(CALVIN WHOOPING)
-(GROVER WHIMPERS)

GROVER: Stop it! (GRUNTING)

LOUISE: Nobody will help us.
Nobody cares.

And the real murderer

will just keep living
their life and...

Huh?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

What the...

Grover?

GROVER: Don't like this.

No, I don't want... (GRUNTS)

(LOUISE GASPS)

LOUISE: That shape.

GROVER:
Take this thing off me.

Holy crap.

GROVER: Stop it!
LOUISE: (WHISPERING) Psst!

-Tina. Psst!
-TINA: (WHISPERING) What?

(GRUNTING MEANINGFULLY)

(WHISPERING) Grover. Pow-pow.

(GASPS) Oh.

I figured it out.

I figured it out.
(GRUNTS TRIUMPHANTLY)

You guys seem very excited
about something.

-Is it my sweet jam?
-No.

-(LOUISE FALTERS)
-(GROVER PANTING)

GROVER: What?

Why are you looking at me
like that? Like I farted?

They're the ones being jerky.

Oh, no reason. I forget.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

-What are you holding?
-LOUISE: Nothing.

Um, candy.

(GULPS) Mmm. So good.

-(GAGS)
-Now you're gagging.

(GAGS) No. Mm-mm.

-(GAGS)
-Let me see.

He really wants some candy.

GROVER: Spit it.

GROVER: What the...

Is that a tooth?

It's so weird looking and...

(GASPS)

That's, uh, candy for you
these days.

Looks like weird old teeth.

GROVER: I see.
And you enjoy that, do you?

Yeah, well, it does the trick.

Whoa, you're pointing
a spear gun at us.

Yeah, right. Whoa.

Nobody move.

Nobody move.

They went this way.
They must be close, right?

Do you see 'em?

DOG CARNIE:
I can't really see anything.

(WHISPERS) Bob,
are those the kids' bikes?

BOB: What the...

And that's
Mr. Fischoeder's golf cart.

What is going on?

I don't know.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Oh, no, I'm slipping.

Oh, my...
Now I'm slipping, too.

Sorry.

What's that sound?

Oh, God. Hold on.

How? Kegels.

Huh. Well,
now I don't hear it.

Come on. Let's go to the front
gate, and try to cut 'em off.

DOG CARNIE: Okay.

CARNIE: No, Fitz. This way.

-(BOTH GRUNT)
-BOB: Oh, God.

(BOB GROANING)

(GASPS) Didn't hurt.

Come on,
let's go find the kids.

Okay, yeah,
you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm just gonna get
all your phones. Come on.

TINA: We don't have phones.

And it hasn't been an issue
socially at all.

Oh, really?
A teen girl without a phone?

That's what I keep saying.

It's just harder to justify
every year. I mean, just...

Yeah, we don't need
to get into it. Bye, phones.

So, you were looking
at the picture,

and you saw
my banana cufflink,

which I bought for myself
when I graduated law school

'cause no one else
got me a present.

-Oh, boo-hoo.
-You went to law school?

I knew he bit me,

but I didn't know he swallowed
the damn thing.

And you have that weird tooth
for some reason,

and it matches my scar,

and now everyone thinks

I murdered him
just 'cause I did.

Unbelievable.
You killed Cotton Candy Andy?

-TINA: Dan.
-Cotton Candy Andy Dan?

-It's just... Never mind.
-You framed me?

You're a terrible
family lawyer.

And a selfish lover, I bet.

Well, we should probably
hit the road.

No, we're all
gonna stay right here

where no one's gonna
come looking for you.

(BOB AND LINDA SCREAMING)

Oh, my face!

Ha! Now you're in trouble.
Our mom and dad are here.

Oh, my babies. Oh, my babies.
(KISSING NOISILY)

I'm glad you're here.

I mean, I wish you had
more police with you.

But, uh, yeah,
also you look good, Mom.

Thank you, Tina.

You better not have stretched
my burger suit.

But the bikini can stay.

I don't know why we didn't put
that on in the first place.

Sorry we skipped school.

You skipped school?

No.

Why'd you do that?

We were saving the restaurant
and solving a murder.

Solving a murder is no reason
to leave school.

Okay, Department of Education.

Shush, shush, shush!
I'm so annoyed.

How did you find us?
How did you even get in here?

-We saw the kids' bikes.
-Ugh, bikes!

And their bikes
were by some stairs.

So, we went up,

and we went into
the little electrical place.

-Yay, buttons.
-Linda, no.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Yeah, Mom.

-No, no cheering.
-Sorry.

(SINGING)
Diarrhea's comin' back

-(MIDTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
-My family's under attack

It's not so great, I do agree

I've also got a bad wedgie

Thought I could prove
I'm not a baby

But now all of us need saving

Dropped my hopes
into the ocean

Sorry if a fish is chokin'

Sure, a lot is happening

But I wish
I brought my napkin thing

It might have helped
to calm us down

Everybody, hush.
Don't make a sound.

But why are you doing
all this?

Okay, good question.
I'll allow it.

(SINGING IN FALSETTO)
Look, I'm not that evil, no

I'm not a bad person

So, I killed one carnie

Well, it's just 'cause
I'm determined

To finally get what I think
that I'm deservin'

And to turn it
into something worthy

Trust me,
I'm sure you will agree

Would you like to hear
my master plan?

Okay, can you answer faster
'Cause I asked you

Would you like to hear
my master plan?

Um, yes.

Okay, that's more like it

I'm so glad that you asked

You see, I'm in
the Fischoeder Family Trust,

because I'm in the family.

Well, barely.

He's from the bad part
of the family.

He means the poor part.

They're bad
because they're poor.

Shut it. Shut your front door.

-Okay, okay.
-OTHERS: Yeah.

I said okay.

So, in this family trust,
you see,

you're ineligible
to receive benefits

if you've been convicted
of a felony.

And every single one of them
has been.

All except for cousin Calvin,
because he never got caught.

-Yeah, baby.
-GROVER: Shush!

So, I frame him, and boom.

Now, if something
unfortunate happens

to Calvin and Felix,

whom will they suspect?

Not me, no, no, no.
Why would they?

Something unfortunate
is going to happen to us?

Uh, yes. Surprise.

-Oh, poo.
-Wait, both of us?

Yeah, sorry.
You were so insistent

about going
with your brother to Cuba...

-I bought an outfit.
-Yes, we know.

But let's just say
your submarine

isn't going to go to Cuba.

Oh. Cancun?

It won't make it out
from under the pier.

-Oh, my.
-Oh, dear.

Did you think that sub
was gonna make it to Cuba?

Hmm, I think
we might have gotten

a little too excited
about the sub idea.

I mean,
isn't it just an old ride?

Yes, it runs on tokens.

But not
the best frame job, right?

I mean,
why bury Cotton Candy Dan

in front of our restaurant
and then wait six years?

BELCHERS: Huh.
TINA: Right.

I didn't bury him
in front of your restaurant.

And I didn't wanna wait
six years.

(DRAMATICALLY) Six years.

Easy. Easy.

Maybe we should hold off
on the questions.

I had it all worked out.
A top-rate murder.

I shoot Mr. Carnie
with Calvin's gun.

I stick him in a pile of dirt,

or whatever yucky stuff

was near the entrance
to the wharf.

I leave the stupid foot
sticking out,

so someone
would be sure to see it.

But little did I know

that some numbskull
backhoe operator

working for the city
was gonna scoop up that pile

without even checking
for dead carnies.

I come back, I've got no body.

I didn't know
where they'd brought the dirt.

And it's not like I could
go around asking,

"Hey, what's the word?
Did anyone find any dead guys?

"This tall? Kind of a biter?"

It was a nightmare.

But thankfully, blessedly,

your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.

The skeleton was found,
frame job back on,

and it's true what they say,

good things happen
to good people.

Wait a second.

Is this all about
your silly mega-park idea?

-Yes.
-CALVIN: Mm-hmm.

(SINGING)
This is about my mega-park

My much more efficient
and profitable

Than your stupid pier
mega-park

-It'll have gift shops
-Oh.

-So many giftshops
-I love giftshops.

-And so much parking
-BOB: Lin!

And I'll get
the best marketers

To do the best marketing

And indoor motion
simulator rides

If you could see
my scale models

Then you'd understand
why Cotton Candy Dan

Had to die

-It's gonna be so worth it.
-Okay.

Because business dreams
are about business.

They're not about dreams.

-That's not true.
-All right then.

I think I got it figured out

I think that this is
what I need

You're gonna all
get in the sub

And then I'll launch you
in the sea

No, no,
I don't think that's right

No, that's right.

You won't be able to get out

The handle's broken
from inside

-Then the pier will be on fire
-ALL: What?

Well, you caused it,
then you died

(HARMONIZING)
Oh, that's so careless of us

Yeah, what they'll say
is this.

Metal wheels on metal tracks

Will cause a spark,
a little flare

Whoops, the drapes,
they catch on fire

And it just gets worse
from there

Up it goes into the Molehill

Which now seems
to be quite full

Of cute and fluffy, very burny

Flammable stuffed animals

-So, they don't come to life?
-I guess not.

And then the Molehill turns
into Mole Hell.

That's what we call
Dad's back.

-We do?
-Oh, oh-oh

I have so many problems
with this plan

Like what? People on the pier?

Gone. I'm closing early.
What else?

You would burn
in the fire, too?

Nope. I made a fuse
out of cooking oil,

sugar and balloon string.

All things you'd find
in an amusement pier.

It's gonna go up the stairs,

over the roof
of this stupid room.

And arson investigators
will never suspect a thing

My fuse and my brilliant
flammable stuffed animals idea

gives me just enough time
to get back to the gym,

which is my alibi.

I went there just an hour ago

I said the steam room
was too steamy

I made a pretty damn big show

Then I slipped out the window
And that's how I got here now

I just sneak back in
through the window

And boom

I've been at the gym
three hours

I don't know if you have
three hour gym body. Sorry.

Yeah, it's not believable.

-No, you're too pasty.
-(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

Also, your mega-park is
mega-dumb. And so are you.

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

(SIGHS) I want to amend
my earlier statement.

-Here we go.
-I'm not that evil.

But I'm feeling evil today

(MUSIC ENDS IN FLOURISH)

CARNIE:
Closing the park early.

Always feels weird, huh?

FITZ: Yeah, we never found
those burger people.

Well, chasing them's
the fun part, isn't it?

Hey, you wearing
that thing home?

FITZ: Yeah, you know,
I have a date later.

Oh, good for you.

(SIGHS) That was close.
That was close.

Glad we got you out of there,
little cart.

But boy, oh, boy, did you
do good selling burgers!

I wouldn't be surprised
if Bob and Linda

use you every day from now on.

Oh, no.
No, no.

-(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
-Oh! Oh!

Okay. Okay.

(SNIFFLING)

That's okay.

You rest now.

You did good.

You're a brave little cart.

(SOBBING)
You're a brave little cart.

Get outta here.

Not now,
little King Trashmouth.

Get outta here.

(SOBBING)
Oh, God. Oh, God.

-(MUSIC STOPS)
-Oh. What time is it?

The hockey game's on.

It's playoffs.

I might go over to Pesto's

and watch a little bit
until Bob and Linda get back.

The cart would want me
to keep on living, right?

Yeah, yeah, you're nodding,
right? You're nodding, yeah.

(WHISPERS) That's my drink.
He's drinking my drink.

-BOB: Shh.
-You "shh."

Ugh. Don't like that.

Okay, in the sub.
Fischoeders first.

And don't make this a thing.
It's been a stressful day.

-Come on.
-No.

-In you go. Mm-mm.
-(FELIX GROANS)

Grover,
I just want you to know

that one time
when you were up at the house,

Felix and I sat on your
sandwich. Bare-bottomed.

And then we served it to you,
and you ate it all.

Ugh. I knew it.

I tasted baby powder
and I thought to myself,

how would baby powder
get on a sandwich?

And I was like,
did they get salt

and baby powder mixed up?

But then I was like,

no, you know exactly
what happened.

-They sat on your sandwich...
-(WHISPERS) What?

-...because that's just...
-CALVIN: Mm. Mm.

GROVER: ...the kind of thing
they think is funny.

They powder their bums
like they're from the 1800s

and they pulled down
their little pants

and they sat
on your sandwich...

(WHISPERS) I can't.

GROVER: ...and I hate them.

They're immature idiots
and I hate them.

What the...

Go, burger people. Go!

Go, go, go. Get help.

(PANTING) Damn it.

(GRUNTS)

I hate this stupid
secret clubhouse.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

Ow. Where are we?

LOUISE: Get in the clam.

Uh, okay.

-Okay, okay.
-(GROVER PANTING)

Dad, Dad, Dad.

-Yep. Yep. Yep.
-Go, Bob.

LOUISE: He's coming.
BOB: No, I know.

-Oh, boy.
-Yep.

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

(WHIMPERS)
Where the hell are we going?

I don't know, Bob. Just get us
away from that lawyer.

BOB: How do we get out
of this place? It's a maze.

Is there, like,
an exit sign somewhere?

Ahh! Oh, funhouse mirror.
Ha-ha.

(ALL SCREAMING)

LINDA: Oh, Bobby. Go, go, go.

GENE: Uh, yeah,
I don't wanna pile on,

but go, Dad.
Please, very much.

BOB: Does anyone
wanna talk about

that I'm actually doing
really well,

considering that I've never
driven down here before

in this weird under-pier,
whatever this is?

LOUISE: Ugh. Okay, you're
doing really, really well.

LINDA: Everyone compliment
your father.

GENE: Um, I think you're
handsome for your age,

which is what, 65...
(GRUNTS)

-BOB: Oh, my God!
-He's ramming us!

-(GROVER GRUNTS)
-LINDA: Hey, cut it out!

(YELLS)

(GASPS)

(ALL GASP)

ALL: Ahh!

-(GRUNTS)
-(ALL WHIMPERING)

TINA: No, no, no.

No, no, no.
Why? Why?

(ALL GRUNTING)

LINDA: Did we lose him?
Did we lose him?

TINA: I don't know.
Maybe. Kinda.

BOB: (GRUNTING)
I think we lost him.

TINA: Yay, Dad.

Yeah, but I'm just
gonna say it,

this is one of
our worst road trips.

Eh... I mean, it's up there.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Oh, Bob, what if
you bust through there,

and we jump down
onto the beach?

LOUISE: What?
GENE: Great idea.

-I see no problems.
-Oh, God. Okay.

I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.

Oh, crap. Oh, God!
Hold on!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Oh, that was terrible.
Oh, I didn't like that.

We really lost him
this time, right?

(GRUNTING)

(SHRIEKS) He jumped too.

Man, that was our thing.

Drive, Dad, drive.

I'm going as fast as I can go.

TINA: Would it be faster
to get out and walk?

-Bob, take the ramp.
-Uh-huh. Yep.

(CAR GROANS)

No, no, no, no.

-(AIR HISSES)
-Ha-ha!

LINDA: What was that?
What happened?

BOB: Uh, I think
he shot out our tire.

LINDA: Do we have a spare?

-KIDS: What?
-I don't know.

Well, he only had one arrow.
That's good, right?

Yeah, but maybe
we keep driving anyway,

if we can.

If you call this driving.

BOB: Sorry, signs.

TINA: Hey, this is our street.

Is he back there? Kids?

I can't tell.
Everyone, be less moist.

BOB: There's our giant hole.
That's how we know we're home.

Uh, all right.
If he's not back there,

maybe we jump out, go inside,
and call the police.

I just got comfortable,
but okay.

-Oh, come on, it's stuck?
-Oh, no.

It must've got crunched when
we jumped on to the beach.

All right. I'm hoping
one of these is reverse.

It'll be the one
that makes us go backwards.

-Thanks.
-(THUD)

-BOB: Oh, God.
-(CRASHING)

It's him.
The brakes, Bob, the brakes.

I'm stepping on the brakes.

LINDA: He's gonna
push us into the hole.

GENE: Crime hole.
BOB AND LINDA: Gene.

BOB: Oh, God. Kids, hold on.

Oh, no, no, no.

(ALL SCREAMING)

BOB: Everybody okay?

ALL: Yeah.

Someone must have seen that.

ANNOUNCER: (ON TV)
He shoots, he scores.

Yay! Oh, whoops.

(GROVER HUMMING)

(CONTINUES HUMMING)

-Oh, no.
-What's happening?

-He's burying us.
-(TINA GASPING)

We gotta get out of here
right now.

(GRUNTING) Open!
Open! Open! Open! Open!

Come on, clam,
let us out of you!

Okay, I'm gonna try
and break the windshield.

Everybody, move back.

How are we supposed
to move back?

I don't know.
(GRUNTING)

Okay, now pound for real.

I am pounding for real.

It won't break.
It's thick glass.

I'm gonna try and use my legs.

(GRUNTS)
I can't get my legs up.

(BOB AND LINDA GRUNTING)

It's fine.
You're just a bulldozer.

A lobster bulldozer
pushing some dirt into a hole.

Not onto a family.
No, far from it.

Just fixing the street
like a helpful little lobster.

Oh, my God.
We're being buried alive

in a hole
in front of our restaurant.

This is my nightmare.
We're living my nightmare.

Phones. We can use our phones.
Where are they?

-Grover took our phones.
-(HYPERVENTILATES)

Holy crap. Oh, God. (HUFFS)

Kids, hold my hands.

Where are your hands?
Where are your hands?

And put that memory in a place
you don't think about.

Now, let's get back
to the wharf,

launch my cousins
into the sea,

and we're back on track, baby.

(BOB AND LINDA GRUNTING)

BOB: Okay, I gotta think.
I don't wanna breathe

-all of our oxygen.
-LINDA: Oh!

BOB: Yeah,
not to scare anybody,

but, um,
don't breathe too much.

LINDA: I'm gonna
stop breathing.

You kids breathe my air.
(INHALES DEEPLY)

BOB: No, Lin, just...
LINDA: (EXHALES) Oh, God.

That's hard.
How long was that?

LOUISE: Like, five minutes.

TINA: I think I could breathe
less if it wasn't so dark.

GENE: I have something that
will make people breathe less.

-ALL: Oh, Gene.
-I'm sorry, it's a fear fart.

LOUISE: Oh! I have
my Kuchi Kopi night light.

ALL: Ah! No.

Ah. No.

Ugh! Stay on, Kuchi.
It's your one job!

GENE: This is like
the worst rave.

(GROVER HUMMING)

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bye.

Well, he's officially
my least favorite cousin.

-What about Baxter?
-He's dead.

Yeah, but he's still
the worst.

That's true.

Okey dokey.
Submarine launch, check.

All right. Fuse.

So glad I made a to-do list.
(SNORTS)

Damn it.

Oh, good.

Oh, my God.

(HUMMING)

Yep. (SCATTING)

(SINGING) I'm doin' it

I'm doin' it
I'm doin' it

(BOB GRUNTING)

BOB: I can't break it.

LOUISE: This is all my fault.

Well, don't everybody
speak at once.

LINDA: No, honey, it's not
your fault. That much.

LOUISE: It is though.

I wanted to track down
the killer

and save the restaurant
and prove... (SIGHS)

prove I wasn't a baby.

Oh! Now you come on.

Oh, my baby. I mean, sorry.

No, stupid Chloe Barbash
was right. I am a baby.

I was too scared
to go in the hole,

I was too scared to open
the secret nipple door.

Tina had to do it for me,

and I wear
these frickin' ears.

I mean, if you're brave,

you don't have to prove
you're brave.

You just are brave.

BOB: What?
Louise, you're brave.

You're one of
the bravest people I know.

LOUISE: It's not true.

Also, you don't know
that many people.

BOB: Hmm.

LOUISE: I've never been brave.
Come on, the ears?

The only reason I got these
in the first place

was because I was scared.

BOB: What?
LINDA: What do you mean?

LOUISE: You know.
You gave them to me

'cause I was scared about
the first day of preschool.

That's not how it happened.

I mean, you were nervous,

and we had this idea
to make you the hat.

Your mother made it.

It's sort of in honor
of my mom,

your grandmother.

She used to wear this
brightly-colored winter hat.

Even in warm weather.
It was a little weird.

But it was kinda cute,
I guess.

She always said it was

'cause she didn't feel
like doing her hair.

I think she just liked it.

And I had extra material,
so, uh, rabbit ears.

But I made them after
your first day at preschool.

To celebrate.
Because you were so brave.

LOUISE: Really? I was?
BON AND LINDA: Yeah.

BOB: Do you not remember it
that way?

LOUISE: No.

BOB: Yeah,
you didn't need them.

LINDA: You were plenty brave,
with no hat at all.

We were so proud of you.

-You slapped a kid.
-LOUISE: I did?

LINDA: Yeah. Probably for
a good reason, let's say.

BOB: You remind me
of my mom, Louise.

And with the hat,

it's kinda like
you two have met.

I keep forgetting
that you never did.

GENE: I wore that bucket
on my head for a while.

Any fun stories about that?

BOB: No, I don't remember any.
We were concerned.

LOUISE: Well, thanks.

For the hat and stuff.

BOB: Yep. Glad we could
clear that up,

-since we're dying.
-(ALL GROAN)

I mean, since
we're just hanging out,

alive, under the ground.

I'm gonna push on the window
with my head.

-(THUD)
-Ow! (GRUNTING)

This is not working.

LINDA: That's it then.
We're goners.

BOB: Wait,
no, don't you give up.

LINDA: I'm tired, Bob.

BOB: No, you never give up.

I give up. And then you say,
"don't give up."

And I say, "okay,"

and then we do that
over and over,

and now that I'm saying it
out loud,

that can't be fun for you.

Oh, God, do you want
a divorce before we die?

I don't deserve you.

LINDA: Nah,
I can stick it out.

BOB: Listen to me, I'm gonna
do for you what you do for me.

I am not giving up.
We are gonna get outta here.

I am gonna Linda this.

-ALL: Whoa!
-Dad, are you Fonzie?

Yeah, you made
the little koko puffs go on.

BOB AND LOUISE: Kuchi Kopi.

-Koochi Koochi?
-No.

Well, the light's helpful,

because we are gonna
get out of here.

How?

In a really cool way
that's gonna come to us.

I mean, we're in a car,
kind of.

What if we drive?

Where? Down?

Like, to China?

I like it. I like it.

Not to China.

-But no bad ideas.
-I mean...

Oh. Down.

-What if we do drive down?
-LINDA: What?

We're on top
of the water main.

The new section of pipe
is plastic. We lost a tire.

Maybe metal grinding
against plastic. Metal wins?

Grinding like sexy dancing?

-What's that?
-Never mind. Go on.

So the wheel breaks the pipe,

and the water
gets us out somehow?

Or it could do
the other thing water does.

Hot Tub Time Machine?

No. Drown us.

Oh, well,
I never saw the movie, so...

(SIGHS) I think
this is our only chance.

I'm turning it on.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Oh, Bobby, kids,

I want you all to know
how much I love you.

I love you too, Mom.

I love all you mama-jamas.

I love all of you, too.

We don't have to, like,
do any kind of order,

why even bring that up?

Okay, I'm worried
the "I love yous"

are the kind of thing you say
when we're gonna die,

and we are not gonna die!

(ACCELERATING)

Bob! Linda! Are you up there?

Oh, looks like they started
filling in your hole.

Not well, at all.

Jeesh, they just kind of
shoved some dirt in there...

(YELPS) What the...

(ALL GRUNT, LAUGH)

BOB: It worked.
TINA: Yes.

Oh, my sweet babies.

So glad we're not dead.

-I'm happy.
-I'm thrilled.

You guys, the Fischoeders,
in the submarine,

with the wharf
falling on them.

What do we do? What do we do?

-(GRUNTS) It's still stuck.
-(ALL GRUNTING)

-(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
-ALL: (MUFFLED) Teddy!

Teddy, help us outta here.

(MUFFLED)
The thing won't open.

Did you guys get a new car?

I've never seen this before.

(MUFFLED)
Have I seen this before?

Teddy, we need you to help us
open this. The thing is stuck.

-This thing is stuck.
-(MUFFLED) It's stuck.

(MUFFLED)
Argh! I can't open it.

-What'd he say?
-I do not know.

So, bad news,
the burger cart fell apart.

It was just too beautiful
for this world.

(INDISTINCT, MUFFLED SPEAKING)

Nothing.
No idea what he's saying.

Oh!

LOUISE: Well, Teddy left.

(PANTING)

Long story.
I'll tell you later.

(GROVER GRUNTS, PANTS)

(BOB GRUNTING)

(YELLING) Olive bar!

(GRUNTING)

-What did he say?
-Olive bar.

Yah!

BOB: Yes.
LOUISE: Yes.

GENE: Wham-bam, goodbye, clam.

Thank you, Teddy.

-Olive bar!
-Yeah, yeah. No, I know.

Dad, you have a pee spot.

That's not a pee spot.
It's from water.

See? All the water?
But thanks, Tina.

It's right where
a pee spot would be.

And no other parts are wet.

Um, okay.
So, Teddy, call the police.

Kids, stay here.

Uh, Linda, stay with the kids.

I'm gonna run down
to the wharf,

and try and help the
Fischoeders not get killed.

Um, good plan.

(PANTING)

Wait, why are you
following me?

-We're not.
-Okay, but you are.

No, we're not. Bye, Bob.

Yeah, and maybe
mind your own business, Dad?

Hello? Is this the police?

I'd like to report a thing.
A thing happened.

You need more than that?
Hold on.

My good friend,
Linda's gonna talk to you.

She's married
to my best friend. Hello?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Climbing through the window.

Hmm? Hmm? Oh.

Come on,
someone moved the thing?

(SIGHS)
I do have three-hour gym body.

-(GRUNTS, YELPS)
-(THUD)

TEDDY: Grover Fischoeder wants
to destroy the whole pier?

LOUISE: Yeah,
to build a mega-park.

LINDA: With gift shops.
TEDDY: Oh, gift shops.

LINDA: I know,
but not worth it, right?

TEDDY: Yeah, no.
Right, right, right.

BOB: Where's the fuse?
Where's the fuse?

-Where's the fuse?
-There!

BOB: Oh, my God. All right.

Give me your night light
for a sec.

I'm gonna see
if I can climb down.

I didn't even know
I was still holding it.

I guess I need a night light
everywhere I go. That's great.

-Louise.
-It's fine, it's fine.

-Don't mess him up.
-Oh.

LINDA: That is terrifying.

Yeah, you'd think
it would be comforting.

Everybody,
please get out of here.

LINDA: Bob, don't do it.

I don't want you
to catch on fire.

I don't think you'd like it.

Just get away from the wharf.

Don't worry. I'll be fine.
I can make it.

Okay, you're too positive
right now.

Maybe take it down a notch?

Big jump!

(GRUNTS) Ow.

Look at him go.
I mean, kind of.

He's not used
to this much physical...

Um, Dad, go faster.

GENE: Do you need your
workout mix? If you had one?

(GRUNTS)
No, I'm good. Thank you.

-(WHIRRING)
-Dad! Dad, get off the track.

I'm gonna ride the ride down.

Louise!

Not the best time
for going on rides.

Louise, no.
It's too dangerous.

LOUISE: Dad, you're not
gonna make it in time.

But the track goes
right past the fuse.

I'm gonna grab it
when I go by.

No, I'm gonna make it.

I'm starting to get good
at this. Oh!

-Oh, boy.
-Oh.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Mole.
Don't be so slow.

Still faster than you, Dad,
though. No offense.

Yeah, but there's
a wicked turn coming up.

There it is.

Oh, Louise, be careful.

Don't get decapitated
and then burned up.

I won't. Whoa!

Dad, you look like

you're about to climb
right in front of me?

Nope, I'm gonna leap across
really quickly.

(GRUNTS)
Oh, God. Not that quickly.

Get off the track!

(BOB GRUNTS)

BOB: Oh, it's getting close
to the animals.

Okay, got it.

If you miss,
we won't have a second chance.

I know. Very helpful info.
Thank you.

BOB: You might have been right
about your way being faster.

I mean, just a lot of beams.

This place
is over-engineered, I think.

I'm excited to talk about this
with you later.

Come on, little arms.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(STRAINING)

(YELPS)

(GASPS)

-Oh, no.
-Oh, God.

(GRUNTING)

-(GASPS)
-Did you get it?

Or are we all dead?

(GRUNTS)

-Yes.
-ALL: Yeah!

I did it? I did it!
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)

I'm brave!
I'm brave!

LINDA: You sure are, honey.

I am brave!

And super humble!

Hey, Dad!
Good work to both of you.

(PANTING)
Thank you. Thank you.

I'm gonna miss that pier.
And being alive.

-And you, my friend.
-Aw.

-Got ya.
-Ow!

You owe me a thousand dollars.

Let's play for two. Switch.

I'm gonna miss you too, pal.

I've always looked up to...
Got ya.

Poop it. (GRUNTS)

-Play for three? Got ya.
-Ow!

I hope you suffocate first.

-(THUD)
-That's interesting.

I wonder if that's a giant
squid trying to mate with us.

Well, it could do a lot worse.

BOTH: (SINGING)
We're gonna live, la, la, la

We're gonna live, la, la, la

-We're gonna live, la, la, la
-(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

We're gonna live, la, la, la

LINDA: Aw, they're singing.

Ooh, uh, Teddy, can I borrow
your phone real quick?

Uh, here.
Yeah, sure.

(GASPS)
Are you ordering takeout?

Can we get traditional
Thai street food

from that new place?

No, I'm not ordering takeout.
Sorry.

Oh, boo.

Yeah, a lot of people
think of Robbery

as kind of the coolest
division, you know?

-Where the cool cops work.
-(CELL PHONE RINGS)

I don't know if that's true.

But, uh, you know,
lot of people think it.

Hello.

Bye, front desk person.

You were here when I came in
three hours ago, weren't you?

I remember your, uh, shirt.
(CHUCKLES)

You probably remember me too,
right? This face?

You're not looking up.
There you go.

You remember this ugly mug,
right? You have earbuds in.

Did you hear anything I said?
Oh, you did.

Good. Anyway,
this is Grover Fischoeder

saying good night.

(SIRENS WAIL)

Hi, there.
First on the scene. No biggie.

I beat you.
And you.

I beat you too.

(WHISPERS) Crap.

(FITZ GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)

(PASSENGERS LAUGHING
AND SCREAMING)

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

How're you feeling, buddy?
You nervous?

Oh, no. It just feels
like my insides

are fighting to get out
of my bottom hole.

Hey, listen,
you're gonna be great.

Uh-huh. Or we're gonna be bad
and insides out on stage.

You know, I heard you guys
practicing in the basement

when I was cleaning up
last night.

-You did?
-Yeah.

And you sounded great.
Parts were great.

And your music,
it makes you happy,

-right?
-Yeah.

Well, it's gonna make
other people happy, too.

So maybe you should be
un-stop-timistic about it.

-Mom says that.
-Yeah.

-So, you're stealing.
-I say it now, too.

Also, she's helping Tina
with her wig,

so I have to try and say
what she would say.

Take her material.

Yes.
Come here.

-(GRUNTS)
-Thanks, Dad!

Just have fun up there.

That's such
a shorter pep talk.

(SINGING)
Let me hear you say...

-(RATTLING)
-Let me hear you say...

-(LOUISE TRILLS)
-Yeah

Twist it, twirl it, cook it, bake it

Do your thing

-You say...
-(LOUISE TRILLING)

(KIDS SCATTING)

Yeah, shake those
little burger buns

-Okay. Got it!
-Good!

Here is a check for
all the money we owe you.

-For this month.
-BOB: Yeah, for this month.

Thanks to
our very grateful landlord.

I still think
he's not grateful enough.

That's true. He could be
even more grateful.

But still, signing it.
This doesn't look right.

Is that my signature?
Uh, let's just say yes.

So there, we did it, Mr. Bank.
(GRUNTS)

Please don't call me Mr. Bank.

-Sorry.
-People aren't usually

so cocky when they make
their very late loan payments.

Well, get used to it.

-One more. (GRUNTS)
-Ow.

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

Hey, Tina.

Oh, hey, Jimmy Jr.
Happy last day of school.

Thanks. You too.

So, I was doing parkour
down on the beach with Zeke,

we're really good
at parkouring,

or I'm really good
at parkouring.

Anyway, I found this.

-(GASPS)
-It made me think of you.

Maybe because you have
the same kind of barrette.

Do you want it?
It smells like seaweed.

-Jimmy Jr.?
-Yeah?

There's something
I wanted to ask you.

Something
summer boyfriend-related.

But then I thought maybe
it was a stupid question

for anyone to ask anyone ever.

-(ZEKE GRUNTS)
-And my heart was an idiot...

-Oh.
-ZEKE: Rolling, rolling.

I'm doing parkour off the
locker, Jay-Ju. You see me?

It looked
a little awkward, Zeke.

I'm working on it! Yow-za!

(LAUGHS)
You fell off the wall.

Yeah, what am I
looking at here?

ZEKE: Parkour!

Uh, what were you saying?

Oh, I was saying, I thought
my heart was an idiot.

But then you found
my barrette-clace.

And now it kinda
makes me think

maybe there's only no romance
in the world

if you believe there's
no romance in the world.

And who wants to believe that?

Uh...

Now, I don't know
why I got so hung up

on the question
I was gonna ask anyway.

Mostly, I just really
wanna do this.

(BOTH MOANING)

-Whoa.
-Yeah.

(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING
UPBEAT MUSIC)

CHLOE: You're not gonna do it.

LOUISE: I'm gonna do it.

You think because you, like,
saved the wharf

or something,
you're all brave now?

Yeah. On three.

One, two, three.

-(ALL GASP)
-Your hat fell off.

LOUISE: Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Louise, reminding you
that you have detention today

because you skipped school.

Oh, my God,
your ears fell off!

Okay. It's okay.
What do we do? What do we do?

It's fine.
It's not a big deal.

Emergency counsel session?

I can get puppets here
so fast.

Ms. Labonz,
will you go to my office

and get Security Blanket Hank

-and, oh, just get them all.
-No.

Mr. Frond, I'm good.

-Oh, really?
-MS. LaBONZ: She's good.

-Okay. I'm so proud of you.
-LOUISE: Don't say

-"you're so proud of me."
-Yep.

Is everybody ready
to do this again?

LINDA: Yeah.
GENE: Sure, Father.

LOUISE: I mean, it seems
like you're making us.

Teddy did a good job.

Kind of. Right?

LINDA: Aw, banner.
I love banners.

GENE: Are we dead set
on "Burgers"?

I mean, is it too late
to change that?

TINA: Oh, yeah.
We could do wraps.

LOUISE: Or soup.

BOB: Mm.
LINDA: Mm, soup.

GENE: Bob's Soup and Wraps
has a certain sound to it.

BOB: Oh, my God.
Everyone, back inside,

back inside. Never mind.

KIDS: Thank you, Wonder Wharf!

-(CHEERING)
-GENE: What a journey!

-(CHEERING)
-Yeah! All right!

Finally. Now, we can bring out
Johnny Jazz Hands.

Oh, goody.

(UPBEAT SOUL SONG PLAYING)

(GRUNTING AND PANTING)

JIMMY JR.: Uh, Tina, it's
a little crowded, isn't it?

TINA: No, it's fine. Shh, shh.

JIMMY JR.: Okay.
It's just that I... (GRUNTS)