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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:15,680 This program is possible for the eggs. 2 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,200 Eggs. 3 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,640 Very good. 4 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:52,400 The Global Mail came out with their monthly list of the most popular sketch 5 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:58,820 trips in Canada, and we are not on it. So we are making an effort to increase 6 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:04,680 our popularity. I was just the other day talking to some high school girls that 7 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:10,600 had never heard of us. Went to dinner, had some drinks, and they love us now. 8 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,620 They're going to watch the show and... What? 9 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,500 You want it for drinks? 10 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,310 Yeah. You gave underage girls alcoholic drinks? Well, they were wearing makeup. 11 00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:25,490 I don't know. They, like, they were cool with it. Of course they were cool with 12 00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:26,490 it. They were getting free alcohol. 13 00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:30,450 Could I be charged for that? I think that's the restaurant would get charged. 14 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,130 No, I think you could be charged as well. 15 00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:33,630 So we're doing a PR push. 16 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:34,930 Everyone's got ideas. 17 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,670 Mark Little's taking some initiative. 18 00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:40,830 He actually took an ad out in today's paper, a full -page ad. 19 00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:42,150 It's right on the back here. 20 00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,610 Rent RoboCop. 21 00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:46,070 Rent RoboCop? 22 00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:48,710 How is that an ad for Picnic Faith? 23 00:01:49,490 --> 00:01:53,970 Yeah, I wasn't 100 % clear on what I was allowed to promote or not promote. 24 00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:55,430 How much did that cost us? 25 00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:57,870 $30 ,000. 26 00:01:57,890 --> 00:01:59,130 $30 ,000? 27 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,090 Don't snitch. 28 00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:03,210 Snitch if I want to snitch. 29 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:04,530 Oh. 30 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:06,790 It's okay. 31 00:02:06,930 --> 00:02:10,590 If there's one thing I learned from Robocop, it's when to fight and when to 32 00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:14,260 stand by and let them have it. When did we ever... Where'd you learn that in 33 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:17,360 Robocop? He shoots everyone. It's just a full -out fight over there, and you 34 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,720 guys are all standing. Guys, stop, stop, stop, stop. 35 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,160 Ah! 36 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,160 Well, 37 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:29,600 guys, I guess we don't have any money to promote ourselves, so we're going to 38 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,920 have to think of more creative solutions. 39 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,460 I'm going to kidnap a celebrity. 40 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,060 That'll cause a media frenzy, and that's a duly guarantee. 41 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,860 I'm going to date the most popular girl at Halifax High School. 42 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,520 How will that make us more popular, Scott? 43 00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,710 She's popular. I'll be popular. 44 00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:47,490 Do the math, man. 45 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:49,710 And she's hot. 46 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,010 I'll keep being really popular. 47 00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,290 I got something in the works, but no spoilers. 48 00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:56,730 Two words. 49 00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:01,890 Promotional arson. I'm going to release messenger doves. It'll raise awareness 50 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,310 of picnic face and be a beautiful metaphor for peace. 51 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:05,770 I'm going to hunt Brian. 52 00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,790 What? Live on the internet. Can I have a head start? 53 00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:14,910 No. In the future, only one robotic officer will be able to save Detroit 54 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:17,350 capitalism gone wrong in a move. 55 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:24,330 My mom just, like, gone faint. The rabbi saw what he was doing, like, knife in 56 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,210 hand. Everyone was, like, so embarrassed. 57 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:27,430 It was crazy. 58 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:33,210 That is so your mom. Your mom has the worst luck ever. 59 00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:34,850 I know. She's ridiculous. 60 00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,550 At least she got a good story out of it. 61 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,180 That's true. Although, if you like that story, you should hear Jake's story. 62 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:40,880 What? 63 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,620 You know the one where you're in New Hampshire? 64 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:48,420 That story? That story has nothing to do with what you were just talking about. 65 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,300 Oh, come on, Jake. Tell it. 66 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,020 Please. Please. 67 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,860 Don't make him beg. I don't even know what story Bridget's talking about. Yes, 68 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,880 you do. Yes, you do. 69 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,600 You're in New Hampshire, the dead of winter. 70 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,700 He's looking for this convenience store, right? But nothing's open. 71 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,120 And he meets this guy. 72 00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,270 And he asked the guy what his name is, and the guy says, my name is Richard 73 00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:09,550 Mann, but you can call me Dick. 74 00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:15,370 And he says, that 75 00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:18,350 means your name is Dick Mann. 76 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:23,890 What? 77 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:27,190 Yeah, 78 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,250 true story. 79 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,270 Dick Mann. 80 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:40,700 I've got to hear that story. 81 00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,460 You just heard it. 82 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,660 Yeah, but Jake, you're a wonderful raccoon tooler. It's true. 83 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,560 Really no point in me telling it again. 84 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,200 Come on, Jake, tell the story. Don't be modest. Just tell the story. Yeah. 85 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,840 Just tell it one time. Don't hold it. Just tell it. I need to hear it. It's so 86 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,840 good. Come on, please. 87 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,319 All right. 88 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680 Okay. Just this once. 89 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,260 So, uh... 90 00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:12,270 I was in New Hampshire, and I was looking for a convenience store. 91 00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:16,130 Met this guy named Richard Mann. He said, call me Dick. And I said, 92 00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:22,090 that means your name is Dick Mann. 93 00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:04,799 Seriously? 94 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:10,220 You just heard it two times. 95 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,020 Tell it again. 96 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:28,840 I... I totally forgot. I've got an early morning and it is... It is late. So, 97 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,380 uh... Thank you for dinner. 98 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,680 From the beginning. 99 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:07,780 Stories. 100 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,160 I have other stories. 101 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,760 Stories. Tell the story. 102 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,580 Get me out of here. 103 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,540 Everybody down on the ground. 104 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,820 Everybody hit the deck. 105 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,100 Hit the deck. 106 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,240 Down on the ground. 107 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,300 Tell the fucking story. 108 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,180 Nice and slow, asshole. Don't ship anything. 109 00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,180 Go on, from the top. 110 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:51,200 But... I can play. 111 00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:53,020 Yes, 112 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,020 you can play. 113 00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:51,090 Time machine twins, time machine twins, traveling through time. 114 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:56,970 Fighting dinosaurs in the past and in the future, fighting future dinosaurs. 115 00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:01,190 Time machine twins, time machine twins, traveling through time. 116 00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,070 Wow, Andy. 117 00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:04,530 What a great day. 118 00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,390 Oh, no, Mark! Look out for that bullet! 119 00:10:06,610 --> 00:10:07,610 Oh, no! 120 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,690 Mark! 121 00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,010 I didn't even get to say goodbye. 122 00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:12,910 Wait a second. 123 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,950 Time Machine Twins! 124 00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:21,230 Time Machine Twins! Time Machine Twins! Traveling through time! 125 00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,970 Wow, Andy. What a great day. 126 00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,290 Bye! What? 127 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,340 Standing next to guys at urinals is very awkward. 128 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,200 It's just a strange dynamic. 129 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,080 Because if you took the urine and the urinals away, it would just be two guys 130 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,440 standing there fully clothed with their penises hanging out. 131 00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,840 That would be even more awkward. 132 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,100 And then if you took the bathroom away and put the guys down in the middle of a 133 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,660 meadow at dusk, then it would just be two guys standing there in the middle of 134 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,600 meadow fully clothed with their penises hanging out watching the sunset. 135 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,220 That would be nicer, I think. 136 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,680 Ooh. 137 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,540 Hey, man, check out that girl. 138 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:05,900 She's hot. 139 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,080 Yeah. 140 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:08,700 Go talk to her. 141 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,720 That girl? 142 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:11,940 No. 143 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,100 No, no, no, no, no. 144 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,300 Man, what's the worst that could happen? 145 00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,660 Hey, I'm John. 146 00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:47,860 I'm John. 147 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,480 Hi, I'm Bridget. 148 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,860 Fucking boring. 149 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,700 Where's your palm horse? 150 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,020 Excuse me? Where's your horse? Where's the horse that comes out of your palm? 151 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,200 Come talk to me when you make horses. 152 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,600 See? Anything you like there, kiddo? Oh, I want that one. Which one? 153 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:19,920 That one, that one. 154 00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:21,560 Well, you don't want that one there, pal. 155 00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,940 It right there is a red herring. 156 00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,960 Hey, what can I say? 157 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,400 Times are tied. 158 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,900 You got anything else? 159 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,280 You like kittens? 160 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,040 Yeah, ones like that I don't. What about fish? 161 00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:44,210 Oh, the fish is dead. 162 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:45,630 I think I've seen better than this. 163 00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:46,890 What about crows? 164 00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:48,570 Do you like crows? 165 00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,230 Crows? 166 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,730 Crows? 167 00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:54,010 Crows? 168 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,560 I will get that tumor checked. 169 00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:26,610 than what you told me. 170 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,270 I find the defendant. 171 00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,150 Results! 172 00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:08,410 Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. 173 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,670 Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. 174 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,940 Clever girl. 175 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,660 Hey, everyone. The Globe and Mail came out with their latest list of Canada's 176 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,680 most popular sketch troops, and we're still not on it. 177 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,260 Scott. 178 00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,260 What is she doing here? 179 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,440 She has a name, Andy. 180 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,280 Well, what's her name? 181 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,300 We haven't gotten a single call about my celebrity. 182 00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,840 Yep, he's not a celebrity. Nobody knows who he is. Okay, sure he is. He was in 183 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,480 lots of things. The shipping news. 184 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,620 K -19, the Widowmaker, the Trailer Park Boys. Yeah, it's an extra. 185 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,260 He's eating all our cereal. 186 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,880 You're right, it's ready. 187 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,240 I think my thing went pretty well. It was in the paper. 188 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,320 Manhunt continues for deadly arsonist. 189 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,180 That Manhunt was a bit presumptuous. 190 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,720 Ten seniors killed. 191 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,320 Scott, she can't be here. 192 00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:48,660 Why? Because we're all adults and it is 1 .30 on a Tuesday, so she should be at 193 00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,580 school. We're taking a long lunch. 194 00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,660 It's cool, man. 195 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,020 How'd your thing go, Cheryl? 196 00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,260 That didn't work. 197 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080 Didn't work. 198 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,120 I've got your girlfriend stealing liquor from our cabinet. 199 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:10,120 She is loaded, man! 200 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,000 She passed out, she is drunk! 201 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,920 She's on the floor, man! 202 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,180 I drew a penis on her face, guys. 203 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,020 Oh my... So I guess we all failed. 204 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,800 Oh, did we? 205 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,960 Great news, everyone. 206 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,540 Picnic Face is now the most popular sketch troupe in Mexico. 207 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,020 Our show got bought by the Huevo Network, and all they had to do was 208 00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,020 opening and add subtitles. 209 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:00,720 Subtitles? 210 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:02,800 What, that kind of, like, ruin the comedy? 211 00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:04,340 Meh! 14706