All language subtitles for Picnicface s01e11 Popularity
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1
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:15,680
This program is possible for the eggs.
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00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,200
Eggs.
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00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,640
Very good.
4
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:52,400
The Global Mail came out with their
monthly list of the most popular sketch
5
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:58,820
trips in Canada, and we are not on it.
So we are making an effort to increase
6
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:04,680
our popularity. I was just the other day
talking to some high school girls that
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00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:10,600
had never heard of us. Went to dinner,
had some drinks, and they love us now.
8
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They're going to watch the show and...
What?
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00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,500
You want it for drinks?
10
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Yeah. You gave underage girls alcoholic
drinks? Well, they were wearing makeup.
11
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:25,490
I don't know. They, like, they were cool
with it. Of course they were cool with
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it. They were getting free alcohol.
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Could I be charged for that? I think
that's the restaurant would get charged.
14
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No, I think you could be charged as
well.
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So we're doing a PR push.
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Everyone's got ideas.
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Mark Little's taking some initiative.
18
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He actually took an ad out in today's
paper, a full -page ad.
19
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It's right on the back here.
20
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Rent RoboCop.
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Rent RoboCop?
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How is that an ad for Picnic Faith?
23
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Yeah, I wasn't 100 % clear on what I was
allowed to promote or not promote.
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How much did that cost us?
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$30 ,000.
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$30 ,000?
27
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,090
Don't snitch.
28
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Snitch if I want to snitch.
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Oh.
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00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:06,790
It's okay.
31
00:02:06,930 --> 00:02:10,590
If there's one thing I learned from
Robocop, it's when to fight and when to
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stand by and let them have it. When did
we ever... Where'd you learn that in
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Robocop? He shoots everyone. It's just a
full -out fight over there, and you
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guys are all standing. Guys, stop, stop,
stop, stop.
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Ah!
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Well,
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guys, I guess we don't have any money to
promote ourselves, so we're going to
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have to think of more creative
solutions.
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00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,460
I'm going to kidnap a celebrity.
40
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,060
That'll cause a media frenzy, and that's
a duly guarantee.
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00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,860
I'm going to date the most popular girl
at Halifax High School.
42
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How will that make us more popular,
Scott?
43
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She's popular. I'll be popular.
44
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Do the math, man.
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And she's hot.
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I'll keep being really popular.
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I got something in the works, but no
spoilers.
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Two words.
49
00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:01,890
Promotional arson. I'm going to release
messenger doves. It'll raise awareness
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of picnic face and be a beautiful
metaphor for peace.
51
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:05,770
I'm going to hunt Brian.
52
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,790
What? Live on the internet. Can I have a
head start?
53
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No. In the future, only one robotic
officer will be able to save Detroit
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capitalism gone wrong in a move.
55
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My mom just, like, gone faint. The rabbi
saw what he was doing, like, knife in
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hand. Everyone was, like, so
embarrassed.
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It was crazy.
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That is so your mom. Your mom has the
worst luck ever.
59
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I know. She's ridiculous.
60
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At least she got a good story out of it.
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That's true. Although, if you like that
story, you should hear Jake's story.
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What?
63
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,620
You know the one where you're in New
Hampshire?
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That story? That story has nothing to do
with what you were just talking about.
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Oh, come on, Jake. Tell it.
66
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Please. Please.
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Don't make him beg. I don't even know
what story Bridget's talking about. Yes,
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you do. Yes, you do.
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You're in New Hampshire, the dead of
winter.
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00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,700
He's looking for this convenience store,
right? But nothing's open.
71
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And he meets this guy.
72
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And he asked the guy what his name is,
and the guy says, my name is Richard
73
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Mann, but you can call me Dick.
74
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And he says, that
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means your name is Dick Mann.
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What?
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Yeah,
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true story.
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Dick Mann.
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I've got to hear that story.
81
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You just heard it.
82
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Yeah, but Jake, you're a wonderful
raccoon tooler. It's true.
83
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,560
Really no point in me telling it again.
84
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,200
Come on, Jake, tell the story. Don't be
modest. Just tell the story. Yeah.
85
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Just tell it one time. Don't hold it.
Just tell it. I need to hear it. It's so
86
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good. Come on, please.
87
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,319
All right.
88
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680
Okay. Just this once.
89
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,260
So, uh...
90
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:12,270
I was in New Hampshire, and I was
looking for a convenience store.
91
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:16,130
Met this guy named Richard Mann. He
said, call me Dick. And I said,
92
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:22,090
that means your name is Dick Mann.
93
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:04,799
Seriously?
94
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:10,220
You just heard it two times.
95
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,020
Tell it again.
96
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:28,840
I... I totally forgot. I've got an early
morning and it is... It is late. So,
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00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,380
uh... Thank you for dinner.
98
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,680
From the beginning.
99
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:07,780
Stories.
100
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,160
I have other stories.
101
00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,760
Stories. Tell the story.
102
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,580
Get me out of here.
103
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Everybody down on the ground.
104
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Everybody hit the deck.
105
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Hit the deck.
106
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Down on the ground.
107
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,300
Tell the fucking story.
108
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,180
Nice and slow, asshole. Don't ship
anything.
109
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Go on, from the top.
110
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But... I can play.
111
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:53,020
Yes,
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you can play.
113
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:51,090
Time machine twins, time machine twins,
traveling through time.
114
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:56,970
Fighting dinosaurs in the past and in
the future, fighting future dinosaurs.
115
00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:01,190
Time machine twins, time machine twins,
traveling through time.
116
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,070
Wow, Andy.
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00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:04,530
What a great day.
118
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,390
Oh, no, Mark! Look out for that bullet!
119
00:10:06,610 --> 00:10:07,610
Oh, no!
120
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,690
Mark!
121
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I didn't even get to say goodbye.
122
00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:12,910
Wait a second.
123
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,950
Time Machine Twins!
124
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:21,230
Time Machine Twins! Time Machine Twins!
Traveling through time!
125
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,970
Wow, Andy. What a great day.
126
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,290
Bye! What?
127
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,340
Standing next to guys at urinals is very
awkward.
128
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,200
It's just a strange dynamic.
129
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,080
Because if you took the urine and the
urinals away, it would just be two guys
130
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,440
standing there fully clothed with their
penises hanging out.
131
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,840
That would be even more awkward.
132
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,100
And then if you took the bathroom away
and put the guys down in the middle of a
133
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,660
meadow at dusk, then it would just be
two guys standing there in the middle of
134
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,600
meadow fully clothed with their penises
hanging out watching the sunset.
135
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,220
That would be nicer, I think.
136
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,680
Ooh.
137
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,540
Hey, man, check out that girl.
138
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:05,900
She's hot.
139
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,080
Yeah.
140
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:08,700
Go talk to her.
141
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,720
That girl?
142
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:11,940
No.
143
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,100
No, no, no, no, no.
144
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,300
Man, what's the worst that could happen?
145
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,660
Hey, I'm John.
146
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:47,860
I'm John.
147
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,480
Hi, I'm Bridget.
148
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,860
Fucking boring.
149
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,700
Where's your palm horse?
150
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,020
Excuse me? Where's your horse? Where's
the horse that comes out of your palm?
151
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,200
Come talk to me when you make horses.
152
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,600
See? Anything you like there, kiddo? Oh,
I want that one. Which one?
153
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:19,920
That one, that one.
154
00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:21,560
Well, you don't want that one there,
pal.
155
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,940
It right there is a red herring.
156
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,960
Hey, what can I say?
157
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,400
Times are tied.
158
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,900
You got anything else?
159
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,280
You like kittens?
160
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,040
Yeah, ones like that I don't. What about
fish?
161
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:44,210
Oh, the fish is dead.
162
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:45,630
I think I've seen better than this.
163
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:46,890
What about crows?
164
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:48,570
Do you like crows?
165
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,230
Crows?
166
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,730
Crows?
167
00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:54,010
Crows?
168
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,560
I will get that tumor checked.
169
00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:26,610
than what you told me.
170
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,270
I find the defendant.
171
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,150
Results!
172
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:08,410
Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K.
173
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,670
Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D
.K.
174
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,940
Clever girl.
175
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,660
Hey, everyone. The Globe and Mail came
out with their latest list of Canada's
176
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,680
most popular sketch troops, and we're
still not on it.
177
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,260
Scott.
178
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,260
What is she doing here?
179
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,440
She has a name, Andy.
180
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,280
Well, what's her name?
181
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,300
We haven't gotten a single call about my
celebrity.
182
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,840
Yep, he's not a celebrity. Nobody knows
who he is. Okay, sure he is. He was in
183
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,480
lots of things. The shipping news.
184
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,620
K -19, the Widowmaker, the Trailer Park
Boys. Yeah, it's an extra.
185
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,260
He's eating all our cereal.
186
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,880
You're right, it's ready.
187
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,240
I think my thing went pretty well. It
was in the paper.
188
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,320
Manhunt continues for deadly arsonist.
189
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,180
That Manhunt was a bit presumptuous.
190
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,720
Ten seniors killed.
191
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,320
Scott, she can't be here.
192
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:48,660
Why? Because we're all adults and it is
1 .30 on a Tuesday, so she should be at
193
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,580
school. We're taking a long lunch.
194
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,660
It's cool, man.
195
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,020
How'd your thing go, Cheryl?
196
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,260
That didn't work.
197
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080
Didn't work.
198
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,120
I've got your girlfriend stealing liquor
from our cabinet.
199
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:10,120
She is loaded, man!
200
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,000
She passed out, she is drunk!
201
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,920
She's on the floor, man!
202
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,180
I drew a penis on her face, guys.
203
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,020
Oh my... So I guess we all failed.
204
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,800
Oh, did we?
205
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,960
Great news, everyone.
206
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,540
Picnic Face is now the most popular
sketch troupe in Mexico.
207
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,020
Our show got bought by the Huevo
Network, and all they had to do was
208
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,020
opening and add subtitles.
209
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:00,720
Subtitles?
210
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:02,800
What, that kind of, like, ruin the
comedy?
211
00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:04,340
Meh!
14706
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