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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,369 Hey, guys. 2 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:34,370 Cheryl here. 3 00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:41,470 We recently found out that Scott Roman used to be the host of a kids' 4 00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:44,510 TV show called Boofy Rice Cakes. 5 00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,010 Good titling. Job. 6 00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,450 Boofy Rice Cakes. 7 00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:50,690 Oh, man. 8 00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:56,290 I thought maybe the guys at home should get to see it. But, yeah, I haven't seen 9 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,030 a clip in, like, ten years. Sure. Cool. That'd be fun. 10 00:00:59,550 --> 00:01:02,850 Hey, Boofy. I'm having a pretty hard time with my math homework. 11 00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:04,790 Anything you can do to help me? 12 00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:06,210 Sure thing, Scott. 13 00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:07,810 How about a soup? 14 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:10,870 Holy fuck! What the fuck, man? 15 00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,190 Puppet's fucking ruined! 16 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:24,310 Where did you get that? 17 00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:27,530 It's got like a million hits on YouTube. 18 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,720 That was never broadcast. 19 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,839 Oh, man. 20 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,360 There's so many remixes. 21 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,840 There's remixes? Oh, so many. 22 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,380 We would disagree with you hot million. 23 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,960 What was that a hamster? That wasn't. That was the best part. 24 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,320 That hamster. 25 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,100 Feel bad for him. 26 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,020 Why won't these pills work? 27 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,360 Just go to sleep, John. 28 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,320 Wee Willie Winky. 29 00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:55,340 Fly down my chimney. 30 00:02:55,580 --> 00:03:01,000 And put me to sleep. 31 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:06,020 Wee Willie Winky. And my menstrual. 32 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:14,030 Nighttime is for sleeping, you know. I just can't seem to drift off. 33 00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:17,610 But in sleep, you can be a baseball player. 34 00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:21,070 Or somebody's elbow. 35 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,770 Or kidnap a man. 36 00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:26,310 What? 37 00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:27,810 Kidnap a man. 38 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,350 With my moon dust, I put you to sleep. 39 00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:39,910 What was that back there? 40 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:40,879 What was what? 41 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:41,799 The kidnap thing? 42 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,519 I don't know. 43 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,520 It's kind of creepy. 44 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,920 Yeah. You know we're working, right? 45 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:46,899 Yeah, yeah. 46 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:47,900 Let's go. 47 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,000 Yeah, I'll be there in a sec. I'm just going to tuck this guy in. 48 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:51,980 You know, it's weird how you do that. 49 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,220 Yeah, yeah. 50 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,620 One day I'll have a man of my own. 51 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,040 What are you doing? 52 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,800 Okay, that's good. Let's go now, please. 53 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,320 Yeah, I'll be there in a second. No, you won't. You'll come with me. No, I'll 54 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:10,859 meet you there. 55 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,960 No, you won't. If I go first, I'm going to get there first. Let's go now. 56 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,340 Fine, I'll go. Go on now. 57 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,440 Yeah, please. I would like that. Let's go. I'm waiting for you now. Oh, you're 58 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,740 waiting for me now? Yeah, like now now. 59 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,040 Let's go like now now. 60 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,600 Bear dance. 61 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,800 Bear, bear dance. 62 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:51,540 Bear dance. Bear, bear dance. It's a bear dance. Bear, bear dance. 63 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:56,080 Just like a square dance, but more like a bear dance. Get down for the bear 64 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,140 dance. Everybody! 65 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:26,550 Hey, everyone. I know we all had a good laugh earlier at me and boofy rice cake. 66 00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:31,310 And I don't want to be a party pooper, but those kind of laughs come at an 67 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,830 expense. And that expense is my feelings. 68 00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:38,929 I know it's a miracle that I am on television. 69 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,490 Party pooper. Rice cakes. 70 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,190 Party pooper. Rice cakes. 71 00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:49,230 I do rice cakes. I do rice cakes. I do rice cakes. I 72 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,270 do. Miracle. 73 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:51,970 I know. Miracles. 74 00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:53,430 I know. Everyone. 75 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,050 Everyone. Everyone. 76 00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,410 How did that get remade? 77 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,190 I don't understand. 78 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:05,990 Please 79 00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:15,110 don't 80 00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,110 put that online. 81 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:24,380 I want to be booed. I want to be booed, booed, booed, booed, booed, booed, 82 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,380 booed, booed. 83 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,280 I'm going to go to the bathroom and hop right back, and I'd love to hear another 84 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,280 joke. Absolutely. 85 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,500 Tons. 27 of them. 86 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,940 We will be winky. 87 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,600 Hey. Hey. 88 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,990 We Willy Winky, Harpist. 89 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,089 How's it going? 90 00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,550 Good, just on a date. 91 00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,150 Nighttime is for sleeping. 92 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,270 Guys, this isn't my bedtime anymore. I'm 32. 93 00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:00,790 It's late. 94 00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:04,470 I haven't been on a date in a year. But I can see the moon. 95 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,270 Listen, man, I need this. 96 00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,370 What was that? 97 00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,810 You don't have any moon dust? 98 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:18,959 I saw... 99 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,180 You blew salt in her eyes? 100 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,400 Yeah, yeah. 101 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,900 I got a lot of thinking to do about you, man. 102 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,820 One day I'll have a man of my own. Can we just leave? 103 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,840 Yeah, let's go. I'm just going to take this salt. What are you going to use 104 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,140 salt for? I'm going to go salt this waitress. No, you're not. She gave me 105 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,240 She gave you lips so you're going to blow salt in her eyes? 106 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:38,520 Yeah. I'll check them out. 107 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:47,420 Susan, Susan, Susan is the lady's toy. 108 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,720 I'm adorable. 109 00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:56,150 It's not easy being a man. The weight of the world dangling between your legs. 110 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,090 The responsibility is staggering. 111 00:10:58,410 --> 00:10:59,530 Busy naked fighting. 112 00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,230 Busy naked dancing. 113 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,850 Busy talking to lady catbirds. 114 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:08,010 Men barely have time to balance a candy dish on their dink anymore. 115 00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:10,570 Luckily, we're not alone. 116 00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:14,770 We've got ladies to help us. They help wash the ghost dishes. 117 00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,770 They help negotiate with a naked butcher. 118 00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,510 They even help pull off our wigs. 119 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,780 So be kind to our lady's men. 120 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,440 Don't hold her back. If she wants to fight someone, let her at them. 121 00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:33,480 And also, make sure she has plenty of time in the changetoria to touch bums 122 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:39,440 friends. A happy lady will come rushing back with salad tongs, ready for a 123 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,800 loving sleeper hold. 124 00:11:58,830 --> 00:11:59,830 Is everybody here? 125 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:00,930 Josh Young, Speaker? 126 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,690 Yeah. How's the weather in Chicago? 127 00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:04,109 Oh, it's great. 128 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,110 Okay. If you like rain. 129 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:14,150 Alan Mitchell 130 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,370 was a co -worker and a senior network administrator. 131 00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:21,930 I thought the best way to describe what Alan meant to us would be to use his own 132 00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:22,930 words. 133 00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:25,730 So I converted his cover letter. 134 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,840 for his resume into the past tense and the third person. 135 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:34,040 Alan had excellent communication and interpersonal skills. He proactively 136 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,900 to leverage his experience in network administration within the field of 137 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,900 at the branch level. 138 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,480 He was proficient with Microsoft Excel. 139 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:47,960 And as we see from this graph, Alan gave us some pleasure when he started with 140 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:53,080 us back in 94. This increased the much pleasure over time as we kind of got to 141 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,080 know him better. 142 00:12:54,240 --> 00:13:00,560 But as we see here in the current year, he drops off quite sharply upon his 143 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,560 death. 144 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,340 Alan enjoyed acronyms as much as the rest of us. 145 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:10,320 So I made an acronym out of his name that I thought was appropriate. 146 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,540 Average. 147 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:13,840 Lazy. 148 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,200 Arrogant. 149 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,140 Nope. 150 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,240 Alan was one of three Alans in our office. 151 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,220 He was known as Alan number three. 152 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:30,640 And I asked him one day, Alan, you were the first Alan to start working here. 153 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,100 Why aren't you Alan number one? 154 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:36,360 And he just said, number three is fine. 155 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,120 It's fine. 156 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,120 All right. I think that's it. 157 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:44,720 Josh. 158 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,240 I'm Mitch Lafayette of Lafayette's Waterbeds and Office Supplies. 159 00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:11,540 Ladies, are you recently divorced or single? 160 00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:15,500 What you may need is a waterbed or some office supplies. 161 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:21,340 Whoa. A little too close. A little too close. Back up. Back up. Don't back up, 162 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,360 please. Back up. 163 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:20,660 What a game. 164 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,120 All right, boys. 165 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,020 $500. 166 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:26,980 A ball. 167 00:15:50,829 --> 00:15:52,370 But I like their style. 168 00:15:54,450 --> 00:16:01,410 Are you 169 00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:04,330 tired of having to water all your plants by hand? 170 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:08,190 Yes. Don't you wish there was a product that could water all your plants for you 171 00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,270 with the single press of a button? Yes. 172 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:13,490 A product so small it could fit in your pocket? 173 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,470 That sounds very nice. 174 00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:17,410 What's the product? 175 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,760 All for just $29 .99? 176 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,480 What is it? 177 00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,460 Hello? Are you still there? 178 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,520 Oh, no. Was this all in my mind? 179 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,500 Are you tired of hearing ad voices in your head? 180 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:41,160 Yes. Are you tired of not knowing whether you're in an infomercial? Yes, I 181 00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:42,920 Are you tired? Yes. 182 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,119 Are you tired? 183 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,260 Yes. Are you tired? Who's there? Are you tired? 184 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,500 Hello? Are you tired? Are you tired? Who's there? Are you tired? 185 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,020 Oh, miss me? Are you tired? No. Are you tired? No. 186 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,260 I'm just messing with you. I'm your new neighbor. My name's Carl, but you can 187 00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:00,260 call me God or Jesus, Satan and everything. 188 00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,780 Not in your mind, and I'm you now. 189 00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:29,330 all right 190 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:10,360 You got me charmed, baby boy, you're like a pagan mystic. You got me hot 191 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,660 the collar like a dragon's kisses. 192 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:18,440 Wanna take you for a ride on a moonlit night on two intangible steeds. Yeah, 193 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:23,280 we'll ride pegasuses. I wanna take you home and chain you to my radiator. 194 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,140 Wanna put some eggs inside you like an incubator. Which I know sounds strange, 195 00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:34,520 even a bit deranged. But I've got a serious egg fetish, I'll explain that 196 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,060 I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. 197 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:44,960 I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, 198 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:51,780 eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, 199 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:52,919 eggs, eggs. 200 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,400 I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. 201 00:18:56,620 --> 00:19:02,260 I like eggs, eggs. In French, they're called oeufs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, 202 00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:03,620 I love you, boy. 203 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,340 Oh, no. 204 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,740 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 205 00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,080 Hey! Oh, jeez! 206 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,639 It's the harpist. 207 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,200 Hey. Where's Wee Willow Winky? 208 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,420 I don't know. 209 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,220 Look, listen. 210 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:13,600 My wife's in the hospital, and she's having a baby, so I'm trying to get 211 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,040 That's why I'm up here. My time is for sleeping. 212 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:19,740 I know it's for sleeping. It's just that I really need to get to the hospital. I 213 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:20,740 can see the moon. 214 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,740 Harpist, please. I am driving on a highway right now. Very fast. 215 00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:26,480 Oh, my God. It's fingernails. Okay. 216 00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,400 Harpist, please. I really, really can't go to sleep right now. So can you 217 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,600 please? I'm going to put you out. No. No. Do not put me out. Please. Do not. 218 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,120 What's this? 219 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,260 Car crash. Car crash? Did you do this? 220 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:50,899 He was up late. 221 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,560 I know he was up late, but that doesn't mean... Yeah, yeah. 222 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,920 This is not a yeah, yeah sort of thing. Yeah, I get it. Do you get it? I don't 223 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,360 know. I'm just going to go tuck this guy in. 224 00:20:58,740 --> 00:20:59,760 No. What? 225 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,580 He doesn't need to be tucked in. 226 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,780 Why do you do that anyway? So you can have a man of your own? 227 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,160 I don't know. 228 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,200 I cannot believe I've put up with this for a thousand years. 229 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,380 I can't believe I've put up with you for a thousand years. Okay, you know what? 230 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,200 We're done. Find your own way back to Dreamland. How about that? 231 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,610 I'm about to dream. I'm going to crash at my friend Trevor's. 232 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,490 You are not going to crash at your friend Trevor's. I'm crashing at 233 00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:25,630 No, you're not. You will not. He is a bad guy. 234 00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:26,609 Trevor's fine. 235 00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:27,890 Trevor is a pervert. 236 00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:29,330 Accused. Convicted. 237 00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,610 Yeah, but they haven't sentenced him yet. They haven't sentenced him. They're 238 00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:34,390 just deciding how much time to give him. Well, so until that day, he's a free 239 00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:37,390 man. He's a free man living in a halfway house, Harpist. Me and Trevor are going 240 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:39,050 to put a lot of people to sleep this weekend. 241 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:49,000 If I let you go get that body, will you come with me back to Dreamland? Okay, 242 00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:52,380 thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you. Be quick, please. 243 00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:53,780 Please, quick. 17619