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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,040 You're watching Picnic Face. To see the full episode, along with bonus features 2 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,560 and behind -the -scenes footage, become a Premium Member. Visit www 3 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,960 .PremiumMembership .ca to get the full Platinum Member experience. 4 00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:46,660 Hello? 5 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,880 So... 6 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:51,930 As you can imagine, as the only two women in the group, Cheryl and I get a 7 00:00:51,930 --> 00:00:52,970 of weird requests. 8 00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:57,630 Yeah, guys are always emailing us saying, like, you guys should kiss and 9 00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,610 and, like, touch for men. 10 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:01,770 Gross. 11 00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:05,349 But men, truth be told, we're going to give you what you want. 12 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,150 That's right. 13 00:01:07,470 --> 00:01:09,510 Cheryl and I are going to kiss. 14 00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:12,130 This is so crazy. 15 00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:15,690 We never do stuff like this. I am so drunk. 16 00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:20,389 It's happening. 17 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:35,570 Do you want to go make out 18 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:36,169 with her? 19 00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:37,170 What? Okay. 20 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,840 Mr. Ferguson. 21 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,520 How are you holding up? 22 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,380 It's tough. My father and I were pretty close. 23 00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:55,460 I understand. 24 00:01:56,460 --> 00:02:01,220 This probably isn't the best time, but I have a few forms that I need you to 25 00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:03,440 sign. Anderson Funeral Home will take care of the rest. 26 00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:06,640 And what exactly am I signing? 27 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,180 It's just a standard liability form. 28 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,760 Releasing our company from any responsibility should anything happen 29 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,760 and the time of burial. 30 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,180 What kind of thing was like? 31 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:23,820 Oh, likely nothing, but if the body were to fall or break an arm or if 32 00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:26,620 there was an accident involving juice. 33 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,120 Sorry, juice? 34 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:31,180 Yes, juice. 35 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,560 I don't understand. 36 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:37,580 Oh, it's just if there was a juice -related accident, if you just want to 37 00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:41,160 that. What kind of accident could involve juice? 38 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:42,420 Likely nothing. 39 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,140 It says juice in here. 40 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:49,720 There's a whole clause. 41 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:50,739 Does it? 42 00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:54,260 Yeah. Anderson Funeral Homes will not be held responsible for any juice -related 43 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:59,300 accidents. Oh, it does. That must be a title. I'll just take care of that for 44 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,620 you. I'm sorry about that. Just an initial add. There you go. 45 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,860 You just wrote juice again. 46 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:05,240 Yeah. 47 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240 Your father's fine. 48 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,220 There's no... I want to see my father. Juice. 49 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,240 Juice. 50 00:03:18,519 --> 00:03:19,519 Open the coffin. 51 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,340 I want to see my father. Open it. 52 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,680 Open up the coffin. 53 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,240 I want to see him now. 54 00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,460 All right. 55 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,360 Here is the top half of your father. 56 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:31,180 And here is the bottom half of your father. 57 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,560 Why can't I see all of them? You did. 58 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,440 No, I didn't. Yes, you did. 59 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,260 Here is your father. 60 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:51,740 Why are you drinking juice? 61 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,620 What's going on? 62 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,019 What's up? 63 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:59,800 Do you want to know how this sketch ends? Visit www .premiermembership .ca 64 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,280 full uninterrupted sketches and crucial moments. Premium membership. 65 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,620 Benefits include bonus footage and extras, including never -before -seen 66 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:10,160 sketches like Disco Foghorn. 67 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,080 American Spider -Man. 68 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:20,920 Get the full experience. 69 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,420 Get the Platinum member experience. 70 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,350 What would you have done? 71 00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,090 What would you have done? 72 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:27,850 Log in at premiummembership .ca to cast your vote. 73 00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:29,390 Premium membership. 74 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,690 Get all the bonus extras. 75 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,420 So, who did you take that movie last night? 76 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:58,700 Your mom. 77 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,540 My mom's dead. 78 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,540 Oh, my God. 79 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,220 She's back. 80 00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:10,940 And she's dating my friends. 81 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:21,140 Remember all the fun we had with this sketch. 82 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:29,780 Started out with Billy. Kyle drinking beers on a bench. Bill said, who'd you 83 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:33,420 take to that movie last night? I said, your mom. 84 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,200 Bill said, but my mom's dead. 85 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:40,840 Oh my God, she's back and she's dating my friends. 86 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,900 And then we froze on Bill's face. 87 00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:49,380 And then I started singing about this sketch. 88 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:56,290 I sang about how sometimes your mom comes back and dates your friend. 89 00:06:56,690 --> 00:07:01,790 And I sang Bill and Kyle sat on a bench, talking about who Kyle went to the 90 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:08,030 movie with. And Kyle said, Mom, Bill said, my mom said, she's back. 91 00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:30,250 Did you hear that, honey? He said my name. 92 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,710 Mama, I pick flowers. 93 00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:39,790 Daddy and I caught two fish. 94 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,270 I like how grass smells. 95 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,450 I love you, Mommy. 96 00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:50,570 Mommy loves you too, sweetheart. 97 00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,300 John, 98 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,320 I don't... I don't think this is normal. 99 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:29,720 Hey, what's up, Jamie? 100 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,299 Yo, what's up, bud? Oh, Jamie, that sweatshirt's the best. This is the kind 101 00:08:33,299 --> 00:08:36,940 sweatshirt I know I can wear out of my house. Yeah. And it's going to look good 102 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:39,900 on me no matter what. Oh, that thing's got trolls on it, Jamie. 103 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,020 Yeah, they're playing hockey. Trolls playing hockey. Yeah, they're hockey 104 00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,840 trolls. Yeah. Hey, we should get to class because we're going to be late. 105 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:53,600 Sweatshirts. Every day, thousands of teens receive compliments on their 106 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,400 sweatshirt. But have you ever wondered how a sweatshirt gets made? 107 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,780 Where does it come from? 108 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,060 And how does it get made? 109 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:03,580 After all, you didn't make it, not unless you're a Calvin Klein or a Trevor 110 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:07,120 Clubmonico. To find out, let's take a trip to your local mall. 111 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,540 Ready, Travel Pop? 112 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:19,060 The local mall, home of the food court, the pregnant lady time -lapse photo 113 00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:21,140 display, and the sweatshirt store. 114 00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:25,300 Every day, the managers of this store receive requests for sweatshirts from 115 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,300 teens like this. 116 00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:30,590 This teen is requesting a sweatshirt with cool sleeves and no gay stuff. 117 00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:33,350 This request will be sent all the way to England. 118 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:38,470 Here in England, widows make the thread that goes into your sweatshirts. How do 119 00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:42,250 they make the thread? What you wanna know? What you wanna know? Once the 120 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:46,210 is ready, they send it to the lab where it is mixed with male spermatozoa and 121 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,410 injected into a woman. 122 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,990 The woman will become pregnant, and in nine months, she'll give birth to a 123 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,670 beautiful new sweatshirt featuring cool sleeves and no gay stuff. 124 00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:55,950 Pretty cool, huh? 125 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:59,190 You see that teacher's face when we walked into class, Jamie? 126 00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:02,930 She couldn't believe how on time we were flabbergasted the whole class. 127 00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:06,310 Boom! Flip a ball on their heads because it's so punctual. Boom, Jamie! 128 00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:09,790 That's the record for most times punctually on time in a row. 129 00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:14,500 Ha ha! In addition to which, we should get to our next class because the clock 130 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,660 is ticking and we don't want to break the streak while we're hot. You're 131 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,200 Premium membership. 132 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,880 Premium. 133 00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:43,150 And unless you change your ways, you will be damned for all eternity. 134 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:50,150 Tonight, while you sleep, you will be visited by 14 ghosts. 135 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,990 14? 14 ghosts. 136 00:10:55,750 --> 00:11:01,110 One an hour. The first ghost is the ghost of Christmas Day. 137 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:06,550 The second ghost is the ghost... If one comes an hour, I only sleep like six, 138 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:07,650 seven hours. 139 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,580 Do I need to be asleep? Then you are sleeping. 140 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,780 The third ghost is the ghost of Christmas future. 141 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:21,380 The fourth ghost is the ghost of the number four. 142 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:27,980 The fifth ghost... The number four has a ghost? The fifth ghost is the ghost of 143 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,380 the ghost of Christmas past. 144 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,860 I'm not going to remember all this, but just maybe if... The sixth ghost! Just 145 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,640 introduce them one at a time. The sixth ghost! 146 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:41,140 It's the ghost of showing up too early. 147 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,020 The seventh ghost. 148 00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:54,700 Am I early? Yes, you're 149 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,350 early. I'm always here. Yes, you're always early. 150 00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,890 Am I the first ghost? Yes, you're the first ghost. 151 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:03,030 Yeah, I'm always the first. You're always the first ghost. 152 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,330 She just introduced me first. 153 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,950 That would defeat the point, though, wouldn't it? No, because I'm the ghost 154 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:09,950 shows up early. 155 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:14,190 Ebenezer Scrooge, you have been a greedy man. 156 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:18,890 And unless you change your mind. Who is Ebenezer Scrooge? 157 00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:22,870 You! 158 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,230 Jeff Bart. 159 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:28,130 Jeff Bart. 160 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:32,970 Is it December 24th, 1843? 161 00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,930 No, it's June 20th, 2011. 162 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:38,910 We should probably go. 163 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:43,730 Yeah. All right, well, we're sorry. Jeff Bart's 40th. 164 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:45,889 Let's go. 165 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,210 Okay, we can take my car. 166 00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,470 You have a car. Why do you have a car? You're a ghost. 167 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,300 Did I do all right, Mr. 168 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:59,640 Scrooge? Well done, Jeff Sparks. You put those ghosts right off my tail. 169 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:02,080 Away with you! To the factory! 170 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,860 To the factory with those bad, bad bones! 171 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,700 Get the platinum member experience. 172 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,980 Visit www .premiummembership .ca to get the full platinum member experience. 173 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,300 Hey, everyone. We get a lot of fan mail and fan art, but recently we received 174 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,120 something that really... 175 00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:06,210 Cross the line. Our name is Picnic Face, but sending us picnic baskets with 176 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:09,710 faces in them isn't appropriate. 177 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,050 It's disgusting. 178 00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:20,010 And if you recognize this or 179 00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:24,670 whatever it belongs to, please call the police. 180 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,760 Call the hospital. Just, we need to get in touch with this person and make sure 181 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,020 that they're okay and that they get the help. What's up, man? 182 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,400 What's up? 183 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,940 What's up? It's Scott freaking Rowan, man. 184 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,380 This is your face? You got my face, bro? 185 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,140 Oh, make it nice. 186 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:40,660 Make it nice. 187 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,040 Oh, shit. 188 00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:43,220 I'm on TV. 189 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:44,660 Oh, my God. 190 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,660 I bet you my buddies are watching this, man. 191 00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:49,060 Let's do some shots. 192 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,120 Shout -outs to Joan. 193 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,160 Shout -outs to Johnny and Tripp. This is a bitch! 194 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,220 Tell me what's the future of fashion, Cheryl. 195 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,220 Sweaters. 196 00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,480 Tell me what's the future of fashion, Cheryl. 197 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,160 Crop tops. 198 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,780 Tell me what's the future of fashion, Cheryl. 199 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,300 Anglet. 200 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,060 Tell me what's the future of fashion, Cheryl. 201 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,160 Headband. Breaking time. 202 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,660 Sweaters, crop tops, anglet, headband. Sweaters, crop tops, anglet, headband. 203 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,980 Sweaters, sweaters, she said sweaters. 204 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,420 She said sweaters. Jeans, jeans, jeans, she never said jeans. 205 00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:02,410 Hey, man, are you digging that hot dog or what? 206 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,790 Oh, yeah, I love it. You got relish on that thing? 207 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,190 Totally. And what about barbecue sauce? 208 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:08,510 Oh, yeah, for sure. 209 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:09,710 Yeah, you would. 210 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:10,909 What do you mean? 211 00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,150 You would. You would like barbecue sauce. 212 00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:15,210 What do you mean I would, though? 213 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:19,430 I don't know. You just like it. Okay, I get that I like it, but what do you mean 214 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,570 exactly? I don't mean anything. 215 00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:25,130 No. Tell me specifically, what is it about me? 216 00:16:25,829 --> 00:16:27,090 And barbecue sauce. 217 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:31,190 I don't know. You just... Just tell me. You put it on a lot of things. Yeah? 218 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,250 Yeah, you put it on your toast this morning. Yeah? 219 00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:36,290 And you had to throw your wallet out because it was covered in it. And what 220 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,870 your point? The brakes on your car don't work anymore. 221 00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:40,950 And the SPCA had to take away your dog. 222 00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:42,590 I know. 223 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,650 You're right. I need help. 224 00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:46,610 I don't know what I can do. 225 00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:48,930 Please, you're the only friend I have. 226 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:52,650 Hey, I've got problems of my own. Oh, yeah? Like what? 227 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:55,540 Look. In my mouth. 228 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,200 I forgot about your mouth, Napoleon. 229 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:00,880 Your mouth is next, Carl. 230 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:07,099 Please don't get me. We will kiss you softly and slowly. 231 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:12,400 Premium. Sign up now to download your free ringtone. 232 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,060 Classic trance. 233 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,740 Mellow vibes. 234 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,359 Pure Vox! 235 00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:25,339 I 236 00:17:25,339 --> 00:17:44,780 got 237 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:48,870 some good - want to know how this sketch ends then visit www .premiummembership 238 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:55,130 .ca premium membership benefits include cast interviews no i'm not i'm not 239 00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:59,610 afraid of heights i just i don't care for them i can't be bothered let me put 240 00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:06,310 this way heights do nothing for me beautiful mixed -race baby i'll be 241 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:13,210 right now premium member the platinum 242 00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:15,060 member experience Woo! 243 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:18,560 All right, A, cut. 244 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,700 Okay, that's great. We got it. 245 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,540 That's a wrap for today. Thank you. 246 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:25,840 Thanks, everybody. 247 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:15,410 Come to bed. 248 00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,730 Yeah, as soon as I learn these lines. 249 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,990 They work you too hard. 250 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,050 Yeah, that's my job. 251 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,130 Did Michael come home? 252 00:19:27,930 --> 00:19:28,930 Not yet. 253 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,750 Hello? 254 00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:36,510 I don't understand. 255 00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:39,290 Is he okay? 256 00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:42,410 Oh, my God. 257 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Oh, my God. 258 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,180 Michael's in the hospital. 259 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:48,439 The hospital? 260 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,440 There's been an accident. 261 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:50,720 Oh, my God. Is he all right? 262 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:57,200 He's... He's... Premium member. 263 00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:05,480 Find out if my son survived by visiting premiummembership 264 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,480 .ca. 265 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,200 Premium membership with a platinum. 266 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,710 Screw it. 267 00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,450 Spoiler alert. My son is dead. 268 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:22,630 Find out what happened to the premium membership guy by signing up for premium 269 00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:26,270 membership at www .premiummembership .ca. 270 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:28,930 Premium membership. The platinum experience. 271 00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:31,150 Everything is possible. 272 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,159 I don't know. 273 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,160 I don't know. 19963