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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,137
Distinguished guests, friends,
2
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,372
members of the press...
3
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:07,575
when the Fish Defense League
told me
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,210
that the dam on our property
5
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:12,480
was blocking the endangered
silverback trout
6
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:17,385
from its natural breeding
grounds, I was glad to help.
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,520
And so today,
8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,490
we are going to blow up
this evil dam.
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,059
Afterwards, we will have
a nice, light lunch
10
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,360
provided by the Grotto,
11
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,597
a friend of fish
and the business traveler.
12
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,133
Here we go!
13
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,902
That's weird.
14
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,270
From here, the dynamite looks
15
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,539
a lot like
a picnic cooler.
16
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,945
I am starting to think
17
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,581
that that is
a picnic cooler.
18
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:51,051
* Yes, no, maybe
19
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,687
* I don't know
20
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,857
* Can you repeat the question?
21
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,026
* You're not the boss
of me now *
22
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,395
* You're not
the boss of me now *
23
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,963
* You're not the boss
of me now *
24
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:06,033
* And you're not so big
25
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,369
* You're not the boss
of me now *
26
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,404
* You're not
the boss of me now *
27
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,072
* You're not the boss
of me now *
28
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,909
* And you're not so big
29
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:20,414
* Life is unfair.
30
00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:22,416
WOMAN: We'd like to wish
a happy birthday
31
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,884
to Mary who is six years old.
32
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,154
Mom and Dad let Dewey pick
where we went to dinner tonight.
33
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,388
I can't decide if it's
34
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,590
supposed to be
a punishment for us
35
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,424
or a treat for him.
36
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,660
Probably a little bit of both.
37
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,796
How's the chicken
supposed to know you like her
38
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,398
if you don't
say anything?
39
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,100
LOIS:
Boys! Food's here!
40
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,572
So, Dewey, are you having
a good time?
41
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,806
I actually am.
42
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,342
Oh, wait.
43
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,510
Why?
44
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,644
He's dying!
45
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,646
We have to make sure you come up
with a really good wish.
46
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,415
Reese, he isn't dying.
47
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,719
If he were dying,
we'd at least spring
for Red Lobster.
48
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,454
Mrs. Welsh, your counselor,
49
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:03,123
said that she'd like
you to take an I.Q. test.
50
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,293
What?!
Malcolm, do not poison
your brother.
51
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,460
He is an entirely different
person than you are and
52
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,229
he is not automatically going
to have the same experience!
53
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,200
It's just a little test, honey.
54
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,267
Mom, don't do this.
55
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,268
I lost all my friends
56
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,969
when I went
into the Krelboyne class.
57
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,104
Everyone hated us!
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,273
You had every advantage
in that class.
59
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,308
You had computers,
60
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,810
an electron microscope,
a seismograph...
61
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,278
Which is why they hated us!
62
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,613
Malcolm, we all know
there's something weird
63
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,615
going on in that boy's brain
and I, for one...
64
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,283
* Fun feet dance
65
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,452
* To the happy groove time!
66
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,486
What the...?
67
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,588
*
68
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,292
Excuse me.
69
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,727
Craig?
Oh, hi, Hal.
70
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,861
What're you doing?
71
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,296
Just protecting my high score.
72
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,131
It's cheaper
than a gym.
73
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,699
And no shower bullies.
74
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,535
You're great.
75
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,304
Well, I'm kind of
a legend around here.
76
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,540
You're staying out
of the ball pit,
right, Feldspar?
77
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,175
Yes, sir. You were
quite clear on that.
78
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,044
Hey, hop on up, Hal.
It's a blast.
79
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,446
Beat it, Davey.
80
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:00,881
Oh, I don't know...
81
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:01,982
Come on. It's easy.
Just watch the screen,
82
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,183
put your feet where it says.
83
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,152
Let's try it.
84
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,222
*
85
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,094
(laughing)
86
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,929
Hey, this is fun.
87
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,531
Really fun!
88
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,666
Oh, God.
89
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,500
Just got him
90
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,702
to stop
the ice sculpting.
91
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,838
Well, it looks like
it's going to be
just you and me
92
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:25,839
for the next month,
sweetie.
93
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,342
So the school thinks
I might be a genius, too?
94
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,110
But I'm not
a whiny loudmouth
95
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,845
who complains
about everything.
96
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,249
Malcolm's a genius,
and now Dewey's a genius?
97
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,584
I guess it's only
a matter of time
98
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,719
'till we find out
that I'm a genius.
99
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,924
I wonder what kind of genius
I am.
100
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,126
15 times 32 is 3,989.
101
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,461
It's 480.
102
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,530
Okay, so I'm not Rain Man,
big deal.
103
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,631
Some day they'll invent
a machine
104
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,566
that does that stuff
for you, anyway.
105
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,037
Okay, question 17 was,
106
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,207
"Bee is to hive as
A) fish is to pond,
107
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,375
"B) bear is to den
108
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,211
or C) coral is to reef?"
109
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,713
That's what it was,
right?
110
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,081
How should... I know?
111
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,717
You took the same test
I did.
112
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,085
Four... years ago.
113
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,822
How do you... remember?
114
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:15,889
I just do.
115
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,458
And it's a good thing,
because it's the only way
116
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,259
we can keep Dewey out
of the Krelboyne class.
117
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:23,631
Why can't...
he just... tank it?
118
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,666
The tests are designed
to catch that.
119
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,568
We have to give exactly
the same answers
120
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,136
a real dumb person
would give.
121
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,305
How do we... do that?
122
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,574
Guys, guys!
I've been trying to figure out
123
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,675
what kind of genius I am,
124
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,944
and I finally realized,
I should go to the library!
125
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,078
And you know what?
126
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,413
You can get Internet porn there
127
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,982
and the librarians can't do
anything about it!
128
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:42,950
God, I love
129
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,152
this country.
Hey, Mom!
130
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,321
*
131
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:49,890
I'm doing it!
132
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,426
And it only took
all my lunch breaks
133
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,562
and $200 worth of quarters!
134
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,702
Can't one of you
135
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,971
have a heart attack
so the rest of us can play?
136
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,606
In a second.
137
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,807
Show time!
138
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,012
Yes!
139
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,347
(chuckling)
140
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,549
I think we're finally ready.
141
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,618
I didn't want to say anything
until I was sure,
142
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,020
but I signed us up
for the weekly tournament.
143
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,989
No, it's too soon.
144
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:22,923
Hal, you don't work
this hard
145
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,692
just to Jump, Jump Dance
alone in your room.
146
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,694
Besides, someone has
to teach Hayley and Kylie
147
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,397
not to be so stuck up
just because they think
they're so great.
148
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,998
You can't enter
the tournament.
149
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,366
You're going to look
like idiots.
150
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,501
We're not done
rehearsing.
151
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,802
We'll be a lot
better by then.
152
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,303
No, you're going
to look like idiots
153
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,205
because it's
a contest for kids.
154
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,407
It doesn't say that
anywhere.
155
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,674
I read the rules
three times.
156
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,176
And we're under
the weight limit.
157
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,845
You can call
the manufacturer.
158
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,246
If you give these answers
159
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,581
exactly the way
they're written,
160
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,417
you'll stay out
of the Krelboyne class.
161
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,751
Maybe I'd like
the Krelboyne class.
162
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,986
I hear they just
got a robot parrot
163
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,555
that speaks 20 languages.
164
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,323
Dewey, you have to trust me.
165
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,558
I'm the good brother.
166
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,226
I'm the one
who cares about you.
167
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,328
You beat me up
and make fun of me.
168
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,263
Only when
you're being annoying.
169
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,331
Dewey, I'm serious.
170
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,699
How can I make you
understand?
171
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:10,170
The coolest person
in the class... was me.
172
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,706
Okay, I'll do it.
173
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,843
You're sure...
this'll work?
174
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,110
Hey, if there's
one thing I know,
175
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,714
Reese's answers will not get him
into the Krelboyne class.
176
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,752
I'm emotionally disturbed?!
177
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,020
Oh, we don't use those terms.
178
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,288
This isn't about labeling.
179
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,190
A blue folder with
an asterisk next to your name
180
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:34,061
just means that you get
a little more special help
than other kids.
181
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,563
Hey, Bill.
182
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:36,597
This one's named Dewey.
183
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,799
BOY:
Dewey, Dewey, Dewey.
184
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:39,700
Okay.
185
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,301
There's no yelling,
no kicking,
186
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,737
no hitting, no physical touching
of any kind.
187
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:47,374
You are allowed to cry,
if you do it quietly.
188
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,077
Find a seat
wherever you can.
189
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:54,748
(boy imitating revving engine)
190
00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,920
(imitates revving engine)
191
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,622
Vroom, vroom.
192
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,927
Hey, could you
scratch my nose?
193
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,596
What's that?
194
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,563
Oh.
195
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,599
You can ignore the sign.
196
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,076
They put you
in with the Buseys?!
197
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,144
Yeah, it's real interesting.
198
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,814
Today, we learned about
our greatest enemies,
199
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,249
Mr. Matches
and Mr. Talk-Out-Of-Turn.
200
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,984
Oh, and I also got
to see a crane
201
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,522
lower a flight simulator
into the Krelboyne class.
202
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,156
Oh, my God!
Does Mom know?
203
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,258
You're still alive, so no.
204
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,360
I'm so sorry.
I swear I'll fix this.
205
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,595
Just don't tell Mom.
206
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,664
Please, please don't tell Mom.
207
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,134
You know, I like the begging,
but it needs something.
208
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:52,205
Better, but... still not enough.
209
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,341
(car pulls into driveway)
210
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,309
Dewey, this is my paycheck.
211
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,678
There's $98.00 here.
212
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,547
I will give you
everything I make
213
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,081
until you get
out of that class.
214
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,785
Hi, boys.
Hey.
215
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,819
Oh, Dewey, did
Mrs. Welsh tell you
216
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,187
when they'd get
your test results?
217
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,288
Oh, I got 'em.
218
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,990
And he's in the Krelboyne class,
219
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,559
just like you wanted.
220
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,060
I hope you're happy.
221
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,562
You've ruined his life!
222
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,829
Come on, Dewey.
223
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,235
Well, I'm not an escape artist.
224
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:29,042
BILL:
Okay. Now that Chad
has apologized
225
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,912
to Lester, Max, Zoe, Phoebe,
Garth, Michelle,
226
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,346
and Linda,
227
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,316
we can now try,
once again,
228
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,585
to read Polar Express
229
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,921
in as normal a way as we
can possibly manage.
230
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,556
Hanson?
231
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,224
(revving)
Indoor muffler!
232
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:46,660
(revving softly)
233
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,396
Okay, I want you
to open this book
234
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,732
to page seven and read.
235
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,000
No motorcycle.
236
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,703
Just say exactly
what's on the page.
237
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,070
No motorcycle.
238
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,740
No motorcycle.
239
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,076
No motorcycle.
240
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:09,549
No motorcycle.
241
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,951
(screaming)
242
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,520
Okay, okay.
That's enough reading.
243
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,056
Why don't we try
some more quiet time?
244
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,860
Why did you do that?
245
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,095
When did you read that book?
246
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,396
Three years ago.
247
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,599
Me, too. All of us did.
248
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:29,536
They treat us like we're
stupid instead of just weird.
249
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,172
This place is slowly killing me.
250
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,243
Oh, look.
We made it to recess.
251
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,815
Jeffy, you're not an arm's
length from Carrie.
252
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:44,652
Why don't we have recess
with the other kids?
253
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,087
We make them too sad.
254
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,923
*
255
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,832
*
256
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,751
Mrs. Welsh?
May I help you?
257
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,286
I'm Malcolm, Dewey's brother.
258
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,354
I have to talk to you
about the test Dewey took.
259
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,590
I'm afraid I can only discuss
that with his parents.
260
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,758
See, that's just it.
261
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,427
I can get in a lot of trouble
for coming here,
262
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,130
but I have to tell you why his
test came out the way it did.
263
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,133
Our mom has a substance
abuse problem,
264
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,603
and she had a huge relapse
the morning he took the test.
265
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,705
Oh, my God.
266
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,440
Yeah, which is why she can't
find out I came here.
267
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,942
I don't want to say
she's dangerous
268
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:46,346
because she's, you know, my mom,
and I love her.
269
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,783
Wow. Well, I can tell you
really care about your family.
270
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:52,285
It's been really hard.
271
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,687
Let's see what
I can do. Okay?
272
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,455
And I don't think we have to
bother your mom with this.
273
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,457
Thanks.
274
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,226
I'll do everything
through your dad.
275
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,694
Thanks for the heads up.
276
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,197
Wow. Ten messages
from Dewey's counselor.
277
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:04,998
Maybe I should...
278
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,835
Practice so we can win
this thing?
279
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:08,635
Right.
280
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,637
Five, six, seven, eight!
281
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,740
One, two, three,
and four
282
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,242
and boogie shake,
boogie shake,
283
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,710
and slide and slide,
284
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,179
These jazz shoes have really
helped my kick turns.
285
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,982
Totally worth
150 bucks.
286
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:22,916
Hal?
287
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,384
Uh-oh.
Here comes Yoko.
288
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,685
It's 5:00
in the morning.
289
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,520
You've been up all night.
290
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,889
Honey, I know you think
this is silly
291
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,824
and that I've just gone off
the deep end again,
292
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,326
but this isn't like
the other times.
293
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,895
I have a gift, Lois,
294
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,497
and it would be wrong for me
to turn my back on that.
295
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,067
Right. I see we've
entered phase two.
296
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,670
Which is fine, as long
as you follow the rules.
297
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,606
You have to go
to work.
298
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,841
You have to eat.
299
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:48,942
You cannot involve
the children.
300
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,577
And you're freezing
the joint account.
301
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,845
Did it last week.
302
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,047
Good night, Fred.
Ginger.
303
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,118
I thought it was Fred
and Barney.
304
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:04,724
BILL:
Take your tissue and carefully
twist it to make a flower.
305
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,693
Then you make a bouquet
306
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,863
by carefully stacking them.
307
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,731
Go slow. This isn't a race.
308
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,868
Why do all our art projects
use tissues?
309
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,137
Because tissues are soft
and nontoxic.
310
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,873
This way no one gets hurt,
and no one sues the school.
311
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,709
This program can't handle
another lawsuit, Dewey.
312
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,412
I only get paid for four days
a week as it is.
313
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,546
But it's ridiculous.
314
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,315
We have to do math
without pencils.
315
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,118
We have to do history
without hard-cover books.
316
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,120
Can't we at least
have some art supplies?
317
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,889
Art supplies mean scissors.
Theymean paste.
318
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,590
These children stab
with scissors.
319
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,491
They eat paste.
320
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,760
Some of them tried
to eat scissors.
321
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,396
This one tried
to stab with paste.
322
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,799
Teachers are supposed
to help their students.
323
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,901
Maybe you wouldn't be so unhappy
all the time
324
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,169
if you tried a little harder.
325
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:52,840
Look, Dewey, you're not going
to make it
326
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,975
through the year
with that attitude.
327
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,344
You just have to take
all your hopes and dreams
328
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,746
and let them die.
329
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,149
Then maybe you won't end up
staring at a clock
330
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,351
at 4:00 in the morning wishing
you had kissed more ass
331
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,386
in grad school.
332
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,522
Thanks for trying.
333
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,124
(imitating revving engine)
334
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,461
I swear, if you can get
the paste,
335
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,897
I'll stab him for you.
336
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,105
...and then he was chopped up
and eaten by wolves,
337
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,108
because that's what happens
to babies who pull hair.
338
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,010
(knocking)
339
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,712
What are you doing here?
340
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,281
Malcolm, who is it?
Don't worry.
341
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,383
I have a master's degree
in conflict resolution.
342
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,152
Can I help you?
I'm Mrs. Welsh,
Dewey's counselor.
343
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,954
First of all,
let me just tell you
344
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,156
how much I admire
your courage.
345
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,524
Thank you.
346
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,625
Your son Malcolm
came to see me...
347
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,860
No, I didn't!
348
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:47,861
Let me do what I do.
349
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,662
He was worried
that Dewey
350
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,398
had been placed
in the wrong class.
351
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,666
Malcolm, how dare you?
352
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,968
You made your feelings
very clear,
353
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,070
but you had no right
to do something like that!
354
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,139
Well, the thing is I did look
through Dewey's records,
355
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,640
and his test results
don't match up
356
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:01,808
with his classroom
performance.
357
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,376
There may be grounds
to retest him.
358
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,845
Oh, no. Absolutely not!
359
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,847
You are not going
to take this away from my son.
360
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:08,982
He deserves to be in that class.
361
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,984
He needs to be in that class.
362
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,685
And don't think I won't
fight you on this.
363
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,321
I didn't come here
to upset you.
364
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,856
The last thing that
anyone wants is for you
365
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,891
to feel out of control.
366
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,492
Oh, you'll see out of control
367
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,895
if you don't leave Dewey
where he belongs.
368
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,764
Believe me, you don't want
to mess with this family.
369
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,499
Well, maybe we'll talk about it
in a month or so
370
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,400
when you're feeling stronger.
371
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,502
I'll work around
any of your meetings.
372
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,339
I can't believe
the way that woman
talked to you!
373
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,608
I mean, sure,
I unsuccessfully
tried to keep Dewey out
374
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,843
of the Krelboyne class,
375
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,678
but she had no right
to do that!
376
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,746
Ah, put a cork in it.
377
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,414
And don't think
you're not in trouble
378
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,883
just because
your little plan didn't work.
379
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,265
(sighs)
380
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,003
*
381
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:14,647
Oh, that was just great.
Which kids are yours?
382
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,216
Those two.
383
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,485
(grunting)
384
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,790
You guys are totally going
to be my new save screen.
385
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,425
Don't let it
get to you, Hal.
386
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,960
Soon, they're going
to feel as stupid
387
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,329
as they think we look.
388
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,031
Let's rock.
Yeah.
389
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,967
Hey, I thought
we're supposed
390
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,135
to have the same costume.
391
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,604
They're almost the same.
392
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,907
Whoa!
393
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,475
Ow! Ow!
394
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,977
My ankle's twisted.
395
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,746
Once again,
I fly too close to the sun.
396
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,547
But we have to dance.
397
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,916
I can't, Hal.
But you have to go on.
398
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,685
We've worked too long
and too hard to stop now.
399
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:58,358
Go out there and win that coupon
for two free medium pizzas
400
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,293
for both of us.
401
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,101
I know we've had
our disagreements
over the amount
402
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,170
of time I spent doing this,
403
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,505
but I don't think
there's anyone else
404
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,541
I could do this with.
405
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,443
What do you say?
406
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,645
Oh, Hal...
407
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,646
I get the pizzas.
408
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,148
Okay.
409
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,516
MUSIC MACHINE:
Much applause
410
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,617
to your sparkling feet!
411
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,420
*
412
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,454
Here comes the pencil turn.
I can't watch.
413
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,201
On any other man
that would look
ridiculous.
414
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,703
We've lost him, Lois.
415
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,106
He belongs
to everyone now.
416
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,042
(revving)
417
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,695
Mr. Sheridan,
why do motorcycles
sound different
418
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,897
when they're coming
than when they're
going away?
419
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,934
Hanson, I'm trying
to eat my lunch.
420
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,469
By the time
I explained it to you,
421
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,704
you would have forgotten
the question anyway.
422
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:55,342
(revving quietly)
423
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,253
I think my brother Malcolm
told me about that last summer.
424
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,723
"It's called the Doppler Effect,
Dewey.
425
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,460
"Both sound and light travel
at a constant speed,
426
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,395
"but their wavelengths get
shorter or longer
427
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,131
"depending on whether they're
moving towards you
428
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,332
"or away from you.
429
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,269
Now put some pants on,
you little freak."
430
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,305
My imaginary friends are right!
431
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,340
I am a genius!
432
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,642
So basically,
what it means
433
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,077
is that the sound waves
434
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,612
from a motorcycle move away
435
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,448
from it at the same speed
in all directions.
436
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,083
But if it's coming
towards you,
437
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,586
then the sound waves
get stacked closer
438
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,653
and closer together,
439
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,289
so the frequency goes up
and the sound gets higher.
440
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,857
Do you understand?
441
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:49,429
Yeah, I do.
442
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,763
Oh, my God!
443
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,866
I learned something.
444
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,268
I learned something!
445
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,104
I learned something!
I learned something!
446
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,772
I learned something!
Hanson...
447
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,208
I learned something!
448
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,109
Maybe you shouldn't learn things
449
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,977
if you're going
to be so disruptive.
450
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,746
Now sit down and be quiet.
451
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,165
Everyone who hates this,
follow me.
452
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,716
What are you doing?
453
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,353
(kids exclaiming)
454
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,689
(hisses)
455
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,229
*
456
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,532
Please, children, calm down!
457
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,335
Remember, quiet minds
are happy minds!
458
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,836
Let's say it together!
459
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,838
Quiet minds are happy minds!
460
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,340
Quiet minds are...
461
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:10,843
I'm so glad that contest
is finally behind you.
462
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:11,811
Yeah.
463
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,280
You know, now that
that's out of
your system,
464
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,382
I could sure use
a little more help with Jamie.
465
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,883
He was up all
night last night.
466
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,551
So if you wouldn't mind
467
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,186
taking the first shift
tonight, I...
468
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,490
DANCE MACHINE:
Nod! Nod!
469
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:29,228
Agree! She's buying it!
470
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,239
Okay, Dewey,
I have a new,
much better plan.
471
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,641
I broke into
the principal's office
472
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,576
and created a second,
fictional Dewey,
473
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,612
who lives in another district.
474
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,879
I still have to hack
into the school mainframe,
475
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,147
but all you have to do
476
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,283
is pretend you're dead
for two days.
477
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,284
Then we're back in business.
478
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,385
That sounds great.
479
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,586
Mom, Malcolm gave me the wrong
480
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,888
answers to the Krelboyne test.
481
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,391
I've been in the emotionally
disturbed class for two weeks.
482
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,661
Well, I'm sure you two
have a lot to talk about.
483
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:05,632
Dewey, Dewey, guess what?
484
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,934
I finally figured out
what kind of genius I am.
485
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,605
There it was,
just staring me in the face.
486
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,875
Aw, come on, Dewey,
please stay awake.
487
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,612
I've got so much to show you.
32312
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