All language subtitles for Elsbeth.S03E09.1080p.10bit.WEBRip.6CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

It's T-minus one
week until the 25th anniversary

of the iconic "Glamazons"
cover story

for Dress Up magazine,
written by yours truly.

The lovely legends
plan to recreate their famous

cover photo after decades

of separation and bad blood.

Madison Fortune and her husband,

Thomas "TJ" James

are spearheading the reunion.
They say

it'll be all about healing,
about inclusivity,

about showing the world how far

models have come
from the wicked '90s.

The question: will Tiff Giles...

disfigured in a
violent street attack

and long out of public view...

join her fellow models
in front of the camera?

Fashionistas agree it wouldn't
be the same without her.

Blast from the past.

You got to be kidding me.

You don't return calls.

I had to drive all the way
to Chester, Pennsylvania

just to beg in person.

All right.
So, go ahead, beg.

Give me one good reason
why I should come.

You look incredible,
for starters.

The world should see
what a real shero looks like.

Shero?

That's the name
of my new agency.

Oh, that's right.

The meanest of the mean girls

preaching inclusivity and
sisterhood... that's hilarious.

I mean it, Tiff.

And you embody everything
I want the agency to be.

It's important you're there.

Yeah, well,
it's important to you.

My presence there shows everyone
that all is forgiven

while you try
to launch your new brand.

Isn't it time?

Is it?

What else you got?

Some regrets.

I had to take half a Benny,
like old times,

just to walk in here.

Oh.
Well, that is interesting.

Do you have something
you need to say to me?

We never really
talked about what happened.

I should have come to see you
at the hospital

like the other girls, not flown
off to do some photo shoot.

That was deeply uncool.

Eh, we were never friends,
we were rivals.

- You didn't owe me anything.
- Still.

I need you to know how horrible
TJ and I felt that morning.

W... Which morning?

- Hmm?
- Well,

they didn't ID me
until later that afternoon,

and the story didn't break
until that night.

It was... the morning
after the attack.

And you two were in the Hamptons
when all this happened, right?

I guess you were still there?

Or, no, wait...
the morning after,

you must have been on
that flight to Hawaii already.

It was so long ago.
The details get fuzzy.

But it's always haunted me.

Just wanted you
to know that, I-I guess.

Sorry to rip up old wounds.

Well, wait.
Stay, have a drink.

I mean, you...
you came all the way here.

Can't mix it with the Benny,
especially if I'm driving.

Rain check, though?

Maybe in New York?

It really would mean a lot
if you came, Tiff.

Will you at least
think about it?

I'll think about it.

Don't wobble.
Right?

Oh, hey, wait,
you left your bag.

For expenses.

Nabria, no, just, uh, stand by.

I have her here in case
Tiff doesn't show.

Maybe having a new face
blended in with the legends

could be stunning.

Always a step ahead.

Well, that's why
you keep me around.

Welcome home, Tiffany.

Oh, no makeup.
We shoot as we are.

Amen.
So it will be.

Glamazons,

meet the sheroes.

Nabria escaped the war
in South Sudan,

Sveta is a refugee from Kyiv.

Um, what's with this one?

Harper is from New Jersey.

- Mm.
- She struggles with ADHD.

Ah.

Beautiful faces

from ugly places.

Ooh. Is that your slogan?

I believe strongly
you should keep workshopping.

Hey, how's that beauty-
slash-office supply business

working out for you?

The market wasn't ready.

- Mm-hmm.
- You used to live here, too?

Yeah, it was
a very long time ago.

But I feel like that
makes us sisters, somehow.

We're going to a vodka launch
party tonight. You should come.

It's called Free-Cycle.

Sir David Attenborough's
first endorsed spirit.

Sveta, you want
to tell us about it?

Free-Cycle is the world's first

carbon negative vodka,

sustainably produced
from unwanted baked goods,

discarded banana peels

and ugly vegetables that would

otherwise be put in a landfill.

And it's smooth and delicious.

- Isn't she good?
- So, it's made of garbage?

Hey, it's 80 proof,

free all night,
and the party's on a yacht.

With all the right VIPs.

Oh, still the same old TJ.

But, I mean, I knew that

the second your wife dropped off
a bag of cash for me.

Oh, hey, whatever it takes.

They should put that
on your tombstone.

But not anytime soon.
Drinks?

I'll be back.

What... Oh.

Oh, it's amazing to be back.

It is amazing, isn't it?

How did it all come about?
I mean,

- who called who?
- Who let this creep in here?

- Why does it matter, Julian?
- This is the first time

in 25 years
that all four Glamazons

have been together
in the same room.

My readers will want
all the juicy details.

All ten of them?

Come on,
who made the first move?

You all hate each other, right?

Come on. Let's go.

- Excuse me.
- Let's go.

- Uh, w-why?
- Go.

Get-get off. Get off.

You scared me.

Sorry.

Took the secret entrance
for old time's sake.

Didn't sneak any boys
in with you this time?

Nah, I left them all
at the party

with your United Nations
of models.

Where's TJ?
It's so quiet in here.

Ah, he's in his man cave.

Usually comes up
after I'm asleep.

Yeah, that romance is red-hot.

I see the old bar's still here.

Let's have some wine spritzers
in Ms. Helen's honor.

You owe me a rain check.

I remember.

And it's been a rare
"no Benny" day,

so let's chin chin.

Can't believe you're in

Miss Helen's
old living quarters.

- Looks exactly the same.
- Yeah.

That was the idea
when we took it over...

refurbish a little, re-brand,

but mostly leave it alone.

I'm coming down.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll bring it up to you, madame.

Miss Helen used to
stand up here and watch over us,

make sure we were behaving.

She was pretty easy to fool.

Yeah.

She thought the best of people.

Till she couldn't.

You know you messed up, right?

Back at my bar?

What are you talking about?

I mean, your alibi
was always shaky,

but now you can't even
keep it straight.

You and TJ
were behind my attack.

Did you put something
in my drink?

Just admit it
and everything'll be fine.

Tiff...

Tiff, it-it was TJ, okay?
TJ did it, not me.

I was s...

- so mad at him when he...
- No, no, no, no.

No more games.
It was a joint alibi.

You were both in on it.

And now you're both gonna pay.

Aah!

Don't wobble.

She must have overdone
the Bennies and fallen.

Did your wife
overdo it regularly, Mr. James?

No, it just helps... helped...
her sleep.

God, I'm so pissed
I wasn't there.

Where were you?

Down in my man cave
with my headphones,

just chilling with some edibles.

I didn't hear a thing,
then I came up, there she was.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Is this another very attractive
basketball team?

No. Those are models.

This is a model house.

They live here?

That's very glamorous.

Was anyone else home
at the time?

I don't think so. They were
all out at a party, and...

But I don't even know
what time she fell.

You two have a fight?

Is that why you
were in separate places?

No.
What are you trying to say?

Everything was great.

It's a weak alibi.

And that fall could be
consistent with domestic abuse.

But he does seem
truly upset, though.

Maybe he didn't
intend to have it to go that far.

Ooh, who's that?

Tiff Giles.

Used to be a supermodel.

Been to hell and back.

Hi.

I'm Els...
Oh, sorry.

I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.

I'm sort of with the police.

Another attack?

I hope you people
do better this time.

And I'll tell you something.

This whole world?

It isn't pretty.

Apparently not.

I've been reading up
on the Glamazons. Boy!

That was a wild time.

Where were you back then?

Oh. I was in law school.

I had the high-waisted pants,
which are back.

And the bixie haircut.

The cross between a bob
and a pixie, a la Meg Ryan.

Oh, gosh, I love Meg Ryan.

And I wept
when my pet Tamagotchi died.

Boy, I really did that decade.

Glamazons were bigger
than Beanie Babies.

Yeah, and it seems like
Tiff Giles

was the "it girl," at least...

until that attack.
That was...

ooh, that was brutal.

Seemed like a random robbery
gone wrong.

No one was ever arrested.

I'm gonna have to ask Nadine
about that.

Mm. Not sure it had
anything to do with

Madison Fortune's death, though.

Well, there were four
Glamazons, and now two of them...

Tiff and Madison... have now
been victims of violent crimes.

I mean, is that just bad luck?

Maybe the connection
was Thomas James.

He was around for both.

You know the guy, Captain?

Uh, yeah, back in the day.

We used to patrol the clubs.

Limelight, Area, Palladium.

TJ was always with a
string of young models.

I don't know what his game was,
but he seemed sleazy as hell.

Well, that makes him icky,

but not necessarily a murderer.

Security footage
showed only residents

going in and out that night,
so the suspect pool is limited.

And, by TJ's own admission,
he never left the building.

Well, he asked permission to
make funeral arrangements today.

I'm having an officer tail him,

see where he goes, what he does.

The models arrived.

Somehow, seeing them here is
even worse for my self-esteem.

Just remember,
they may be stunning,

but we can solve crimes.

She saved me from war
and got me Invisalign.

Ms. Maddy was my shero.

I feel bad. We were partying

so hard while Ms. Madison
was falling down.

But we were drinking
the garbage vodka,

so I hope we made her proud.

Who will look after us now?

This sucks.

But the brand launch
was kinda bomb.

There was
a vodka bottle ice luge

and I danced
with some of the Knicks

and that actor who kissed
his brother on White Lotus.

We got to
the party at about 10:00

and we came home
when the sun rose.

Mr. TJ was
standing over her body.

How had TJ seemed lately?
Anything out of the ordinary?

I was surprised he wasn't
on the yacht with us.

He's usually there,
introducing us around.

He's actually been
staying home a lot,

hiding out in his man cave.

No one knows what he's doing.
Seems suss as hell.

TJ was keeping secrets.

I think she was concerned.

Oh, yes, I was
on the yacht as well.

I danced all night
and made out with the DJ,

just like old times.

Nadine, you're incredible.

I had to keep up
with the sheroes.

Even politically aware models
seem to party pretty hard.

Call them what you will,
models are still models,

- and vodka is still vodka.
- Yeah.

So, you lived in a model house.

That is so intriguing.

- Can you tell me how that works?
- Well,

models live rent-free in
exchange for going to parties

and entertaining VIPs,
mostly men.

Before Insta,
it was the only way to be seen.

Girls still do it, though.

- And what's TJ's role?
- TJ's a promoter.

He gets paid by the party
planners to bring the girls

and make the introductions.

Sounds like the models
are put in some

pretty tricky situations.

Did you ever object to anything?

I was a 17-year-old girl
from Moldova.

Who was I to ask questions?

Moldova? Wow.

I never could place the accent.

But I thought you said you were
walking runways in Milan

and Paris by age 14.

I...
Who can remember?

But I was a kid.

And I got swept up in it.
We all did.

So, TJ met Madison
in the model house?

Oh, yes.
Separately, they were crazy.

Together, they were
crazy for each other.

It was all flames and fire.

Huh. Maybe it burned too hot?

Do you think
TJ could have killed her?

No. Even at the reunion,

they were partners in crime,

and I believe strongly that
Clyde would never kill Bonnie.

Yeah, I know. No.

I have to fill the club
for the two-drink minimum

so Mr. Titters
will have me back.

It's my first featured set,
you have to come.

Got to go.

Something fun afoot?

Um...

Hey.

I have something
I need to tell you.

Now.

Madison came to see me at my
bar in Pennsylvania last week.

Said she wanted to leave
her husband and start fresh.

I figured you should know that.

Did she say why?

I mean, TJ always had a temper,
tried to control her,

and now she was convinced
that he was drugging her, too.

Said she was tired all the time.

What else did Madison say?

She said she was scared

and that she felt like a fraud.

I mean, how could she pretend
that she's this evolved,

independent woman when she's
hiding her own abuse?

She said she wanted me to
come to New York to support her

when she left him.

Had you been aware
that things were this bad?

No. We hadn't
seen each other in years.

Why would she
confide in you, then?

- Doesn't that seem odd?
- No, I mean,

we were roommates
back in the day. We had a bond.

And Madison was
finally realizing

that I was right about TJ
after all this time.

I mean, that's why
we had fallen out.

'Cause I didn't like him
or trust him.

You think TJ
could have killed her?

Well, he would get nothing
if she divorced him,

but if something happened
to Madison,

he would get everything,
including

his stake in the agency.

Not hard to connect those dots.

You're welcome.

The forensic report came in,
Captain, and it's a doozy.

Sorry.

I never actually eat
when I'm with Nadine.

Uh...

Go ahead.

Along with the fall, uh,

Madison Fortune died
from a lethal mix

of Benzodiazepine and alcohol.

All the bottles
and surface areas in the bar

were wiped clean...

which is suspicious in itself...

but a glass was discovered
in the trash

with traces of
the Bennies and the white wine

and Thomas James' fingerprints

smudged on the surface.

That's basically
the murder weapon.

It's neat and clean, Captain.

- Motive, means and opportunity.
- Oh...

Well, I, for one,
won't shed a tear

when we lock this dude up.

Yeah, but if you were planning
on murdering your wife,

wouldn't you come up with
a better alibi than

hanging out in your man cave?

And are we just taking
Tiff's word for the motive?

- You didn't believe her?
- Well,

anything could have happened
in that bar in Pennsylvania.

The models backed Tiff's story,
though. They said

there seemed to be trouble
in the marriage.

Not Nadine Clay.

She believes strongly Clyde

would never kill Bonnie.

- What do you got?
- Uh, just heard

from the officer
tailing Thomas James.

After going to the funeral home,

he went straight
to his insurance agent,

checked on the size of Madison's
death benefit.

In other words,
what's in it for him.

His attorney
should be here any minute.

Hey, guys,

Officer Hackett's
doing her stand-up tonight.

It's her first featured set.

That's great.

Yeah, but she hasn't invited us,

even though she needs to fill
the house to get another show.

Well, some people
don't like to mix worlds.

I get that.
She might feel like

her parents are in the house,
you know,

and get self-conscious.

Oh, nonsense.

We're gonna
support Officer Hackett.

She's a friend and colleague.

And besides,
isn't anyone else curious?

This is crazy. I'd never hurt
Madison. She was my whole world.

Then can you tell us
why you stayed home the night

of the murder instead of going
to the party with your models?

Just tell them the truth.

I've been preparing for an
audit from the IRS,

trying to get my paper trail
in order.

See, I've been paid
under the table, in cash,

since the 90s.
I'm in big trouble.

Did Madison know?

I didn't want her
thinking less of me.

That's why he's been
hiding out in his man cave,

- trying to fix it.
- And why he killed his wife

for the death benefit.
He needed

to pay the government
to stay out of jail.

I would never.

It was only after Madison was
gone that I even thought about

- her money, I swear.
- Try selling that to a jury.

So, what, the truth
doesn't even matter?

We're submitting TJ's computer
for forensic examination.

You'll see he was online
all night.

This is the glass
that served Madison Fortune

her fatal drink.
Your prints

are all over it.
How do you explain that?

It's from the cocktail party.

The caterers brought that.
It isn't even ours.

- Someone must be framing me.
- Oh, come on.

Who hated you so much
to kill your wife

and set you up to take the fall?

Tiff Giles.

She hates us that much.

Why?

Well, she has this

crazy idea that
we were behind her attack.

Were you?

Look, the statute of limitations

has been over longer than Zima.

If you think
Tiff killed Madison,

then it only helps your point.

So, what do you have to lose?

Aw...

Screw it, Naya.

Okay, yeah.
It was us.

Um, but it wasn't
supposed to be that bad.

It was a major screw-up.

What was your motive?

There was an article
in the Dress Up.

Uh, that creep
made Tiffany the star,

which got her
the Swimsuit Issue,

which everyone thought
was supposed to go to Maddy,

you know? It's...

We went out to a bar, and...

the Tonya Harding thing
was on the TV

and we kind of got inspired.

And then Madison
kept egging me on.

And I left, and I-I was waiting
for Tiff to come home

from the club,
and I put on a mask.

And...
I was only supposed

to injure her enough
so that she wouldn't

be able to do the shoot, and
M-Maddy could take her place.

But then Tiff
fell on her Discman

and her Jewel CD

popped out and wound up
cutting her face.

And she got knocked out.
It was really scary.

Well, did you do anything
to help her?

Did you call an ambulance?

Um...

You just left her there?

Guess she finally
got her revenge.

But just 'cause she has a reason
doesn't make it right, right?

Like, legally, right?

TJ's prints were on the glass
and he took the money.

Seems like a Hail Mary to me.

Well, I'm still curious to see

how Tiff reacts
to his confession.

I went through
all the social media

for the vodka launch party.

There are no posts
featuring Tiffany Giles

after 9:47 PM.

So she could have left early?

Yeah, and the expensive hotel
that she picked

has a private entrance. It's for
guests who need discretion.

So, Tiff could have
been anywhere

the night of the murder.

There's also something strange
about the Bennies.

Madison's prescription
had just been filled,

- only two pills missing.
- But there was

the equivalent of at least six
mixed into the spritzer.

Exactly.

Did the killer bring their
own supply that night?

Okay, girls,
that was the lean and twist.

Now let's try the contrapposto.

Uh, let's focus, please.

Models need to be on the second
the spotlight hits them.

As Maddy and I used to
say to each other backstage,

"Don't wobble."

Pretty handy advice, no?
If you're ever in the spotlight.

Huh. Yeah, and Nadine
is an excellent coach.

I never would have been able

to clomp like a donkey
without her.

Excuse me.

Can we steal Tiff for a moment?

Oh, do you have news?

Yeah. Okay.

TJ has confessed to your attack.

What?

After all these years?

He admitted he and Madison
were behind it.

Oh, no.

I-I always suspected TJ,
but I refuse to believe

that Maddy was involved.
I mean, she was my friend.

His words, not ours.

But why confess
after all these years?

I mean, the statute
of limitations has run out.

Like, what-what advantage
does he think it gives him?

TJ was trying to prove that...

someone had a big enough grudge

to kill Madison and frame him
for the murder.

Wait, me?

He's throwing suspicion on me?

Can you prove
you went back to your hotel

after the yacht party?

- We know you didn't stay long.
- I left

the model house
after the reunion shoot

and never went back
that night, period.

I mean, how can you guys
believe a word that guy says?

He's just trying
to save himself.

Bennies?

No, it's Advil.

I-I... still get headaches
from the attack.

I've never taken those.

Mm. But you knew
Madison did, right?

I mean, you two shared a room.

Yeah, 25 years ago.

When she also
drank 14 Diet Cokes a day

and lived off candy bars.
Look, it is TJ,

her killer,
who knows her habits now.

I thought you had become
Madison's confidante.

Oh.

You're one of those women,
aren't you?

- What women?
- The kind

that have hated on me
my whole life.

Just jealous,
trying to tear me down.

That's not true.
I always try to lift people up.

Yet you're believing a man
over me right now.

A man who's obviously guilty,

a man with a history
of exploiting women.

And that is all I need to know
about you, Ms. Tascioni.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've had enough for today.

Think you might have
hit a nerve.

I'm sorry that my beauty

is the more societally
accepted standard. I cannot

control how he's
conditioned to see, Nabria.

Not to slut-shame you,
my sister,

but you did let your towel drop.

All right, my
darlings, no. Shh, shh. I cannot.

I cannot.

Nadine. What's the rumpus?

Oh. Nabria snuck a guy
from the yacht into the loft

but didn't realize
Sveta liked him as well,

and now it's a whole
respectful talkathon.

- Mm.
- I miss the days when we used to scream,

pull each other's hair
and smash things

until the cops were called.

Wait. You're saying
there's a secret way

in and out of this building?

Oh, yes. We used to call it
the Leo latch,

in honor of you-know-who's
secret late-night forays.

- No.
- Mm-hmm.

Did you sneak guys in and out
when you lived here, too?

Yes. And carbs.

Mm.

- Can you show us?
- Yes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Gloves and booties, everyone.

Ugh.

- You-know-who really did this?
- Oh, yes.

Men would do anything
for models. It is so sweet.

And sad.

Ha.
TJ was right.

It's not a match.

Did Tiff and Madison
ever fight over a guy?

Only many times.

Mostly Julian Simons.

He wrote the original article.

He always caused
so many problems.

- I mean, he still does.
- What do you mean?

Oh, TJ kicked him out
of the cocktail reception

for being too nosy
with Tiff and Madison.

What was he asking about?

Mostly their
newfound sisterhood.

Julian wasn't buying it?

I guess not.
And he is the authority

on all things Glamazon.

He invented the term, so
he must know something.

He's obsessed.
As if we're so fascinating.

Just kidding. We are.

Nadine Clay
was talking about me?

She said you were
the top Glamazon expert.

Knew where all the bodies
were buried.

Am I a suspect?

What makes you think that?

Because TJ and Madison

ruined my life, too.

- Really? How so?
- They started a rumor

that Tiff slept with me

to make her
the star of my story.

My editor at Dress Up
believed it.

I got fired.

- Well, had she slept with you?
- No.

I'm gay, surprise.

But...

Tiff did shower me
with attention,

and I guess I fell
under her spell.

Especially since
the other Glamazons

treated me
like a schlubby wannabe.

This world is not pretty.

Your article made them mad.

But that's not
why they ruined me.

I kept asking questions
about Tiff's attack

even after the police
dropped the case.

TJ and Madison
wanted me silenced.

I've been blackballed
ever since.

- So you always suspected them?
- Sure.

I could see how nasty it was
getting in the model house.

And TJ was a crazy boy.

He'd do anything for his girl.

What was
the source of the friction?

Tiff stole aspects

of Madison's look
and attitude, kind of

Single White Femaled her. So,

Madison started
playing dirty, too.

My article didn't help.

It seems like you did a lot
for Tiff's career.

Did you keep in touch?

Not after the story came out.

She used me.

Do you think
she's capable of murder?

If she found proof
that TJ and Madison

were behind the attack...

I think she'd be
capable of anything.

We know you were with them
at the cocktail reception.

How did Madison and Tiff seem?
Tiff said they made up.

They toasted, but things were
still pretty tense.

That's why I started
asking questions

and TJ had me thrown out.

So you saw them
drinking together?

Do you remember
if TJ put his glass down

before he showed you out?

I didn't notice,
but he definitely

needed both hands
to deal with me.

I go to the gym.

Tiff could have pilfered...

we don't use that word enough...

the glass with TJ's fingerprints

while TJ was
throwing Julian Simons

out of the reception.

And we now know Tiff could have
snuck into the model house

- using the Leo latch.
- What's that?

Ooh, it's a secret entrance
named after...

Never mind, I don't care.
Uh, so you're saying that

Tiffany Giles
could have gotten into

and out of the murder site
without being seen?

- Yes.
- And TJ was on his computer

working on his taxes
most of the night.

And Tiff is a bartender.
So she would know

how to mix the, um... drink.

A wine spritzer.

That's literally
two ingredients.

Now, look, this is all
circumstantial. We don't have

any evidence to connect Tiff
to the actual crime.

And TJ had his
preliminary hearing today.

The judge sent it
to the grand jury.

They're expected to indict.

Like a ham sandwich.

Oh, now I'm hungry again.

So, there's nothing else
we can do?

Bring Tiffany back in,
see if she rattles.

But if this was a frame job,
it was a pretty tight one.

Hi, Tiff.

So, it seems like

the rivalry between you
and Madison was pretty fierce.

Julian Simons told us

Madison put ground glass
in your shoe

so your foot bled
when you walked the runway.

Because you let
Madison oversleep

so you could
steal a job from her.

I mean, really, it sounds like
you were both at war.

Okay, Julian is a writer.
He loves to embellish.

But there was video of your
bloody foot on the runway.

That was pretty real.

You were pretty determined.

Nobody was gonna stop me
in those days.

Until somebody did.

Oh, that...
That attack. Oh, gosh.

That attack...
it must have made you feel...

Bitter, cursed,

crazy, robbed of my future,
ashamed of my face,

drugged-out,
depressed, unlovable?

Yeah, the same way
anybody would feel.

- What is the point to this?
- Did you want revenge?

Because it would really
be understandable if you did.

Yeah, that's what I wanted
for a long time.

But it got me nowhere.

I mean, I-I didn't even
know who to blame.

And you never wanted to try
modeling again?

'Cause that eye patch... it could
have been your new trademark.

My spirit was broken.

And I felt like Madison
had taken my place,

so...

Then why'd you
come back to New York?

To heal. To...

to get closure.
To support my sister Madison.

To help these models
who are just starting out.

I mean...

And then Maddy got murdered.

And now you're trying
to traumatize me again.

It's ghoulish.

I... I'm not
gonna sit here and take it.

Hey, hey, we both know
Madison wasn't your sister.

She was your rival.

You came in through
the Leo latch with a plan,

and you carried it out.

Hey, you already
have your killer.

- I don't think we do.
- TJ admitted

to attacking me.
You know he's violent.

There's a mountain of evidence.
What more do you need?

There are some things
that just...

Do you have anything
to hold me on now

or not?

Yeah.
That's what I thought.

You cops...

you're useless.

Always were.

I'm gonna go home now.

Give it up again
for my buddy Jim!

Don't wobble.

Okay, let's keep it
going for our next featured comic.

I have seen her, she is funny.

And, hey, no heckling.

It will end up on the Internet,

you will look like a jerk,

and you won't get laid,
so don't do it, okay?

All right, let's please
welcome Grace Hackett.

- Yay!
- Hi.

All right, um... I'm Grace.

What can I tell you?
Uh, I am single.

I am from Queens.

I'm a Mets fan.

Yes. Oh, my fellow
masochist, hello.

I am also...

a New York City police officer.

Ooh! Feel that awkward
energy shift in the room?

Feels like every date
I've ever had.

But then I remind them
I have handcuffs.

Yeah, see, my problem

is I am attracted to bad boys.

I'm always putting perps
up against a wall

and frisking 'em.

"You have the right
to remain silent.

You also have the right to

call me, if you're into it."

Oh, my... You can never
find a cop when you need one,

and then your whole precinct

turns up at your show.

- Don't mind us.
- Yeah, do your thing.

That's my captain.

He likes to order big
sushi lunches to the office.

Yeah, your tax dollars hard
at work, ladies and gentlemen.

- Hey, I pay for those.
- Eh, tell it to Internal Affairs.

And there's Detective Buzz.

You've heard of stop-and-frisk?

Buzz invented turn-and-avoid!

What else can I tell you

that'll, uh,
put my real career in jeopardy?

I'm Grace.
You've been great.

Thank you.

So, that's what
she thinks of us?

What's wrong with
sushi for lunch?

I thought it sounded
affectionate.

But why no jokes about me?

Not even one.

Ivy?

Captain.

Look, it's Ivy from Joe's Bar.

Hi, Ms. Tascioni. Figured
no one else dresses like that.

- Wow. Look at you.
- Yeah.

- I'm the head bartender here.
- Aw.

Joe may have been a killer,

but I learned a lot
watching him.

Mm.

Hey, what did you just do there?

Oh, the... That? The flipping
of the foil? Pro habit.

Do most bartenders do that?

Yeah, the ones I know.

I always forget
to throw them out.

We've all discussed it.
You're the one who understands.

We trust you, and hope you will

hear our plea, Ms. Tiffany.

What's all this?

Oh. Well, if you must know,

TJ's out of the picture now,

but the heroes Modeling
Agency is going to continue.

We need someone
to look after us.

We've asked Tiff to stay.

Oh, so you're gonna take
Madison's place at the agency

the way she took your place on
the cover of Sports Illustrated?

It's, uh, it's kinda
been their "thing."

Take a look, ladies.

We are not gonna treat
each other like this anymore.

I will make sure of it.

Does this mean you say yes?

Sorry, Tiffany
won't be available for, say,

25 years to life.

Yeah, the perp-walk
will be your last runway.

Don't wobble.

You're not as funny
as you think you are.

Look, arrest me
or leave me alone.

Tiffany Giles,
you are under arrest

- for the murder of Madison Fortune.
- Wait, wait, wait,

- what-what are you doing?
- Oh!

We have your fingerprints now.

Oh, really?
Then you planted 'em.

'Cause my prints
aren't on anything.

You wiped down the bottles,
the door handles,

the railings
overlooking the loft...

And it was TJ's prints

on the glass that you pilfered...

huh, used it again...

when TJ kicked poor Julian
out of that reception.

The same glass
that you planted at the...

crime scene
to frame TJ for the murder.

You only made one mistake.

You left your prints
on the murder weapon,

which is to say the wine bottle

used to make
the drugged spritzer.

No, I didn't.

When you cut the foil

off the wine bottle, you

flipped it
into your apron pocket,

but you forgot to throw it away.

You left a thumbprint

on the aluminum,
and it was a perfect match.

Oh, if it makes you
feel any better,

a lot of bartenders
make the same mistake.

But, of course,
most of them are not

trying to cover up a murder.

You did it.

I only have
one question, though.

Why now, after all these years?

Madison slipped up when
she came to see me at the bar.

She blew her and TJ's alibi
for the night of my attack.

I couldn't let them
get away with that.

Tiffany Ann Giles,

you have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will

be used against you
in a court of law.

What will happen to us now?

Give Nadine Clay a call.

I believe
strongly that she's wonderful.

And she might be ready

for her next move.

Heck of a week.
Not only did we solve our case,

but Officer Hackett
killed at her showcase.

Aw.

I don't know about that,
but, uh,

Mr. Titters
is gonna have me back.

- Oh...
- Hey!

You know, you guys
didn't say much after the set.

- I hope I didn't offend anyone.
- What?!

No.
You were "high-larious."

And you didn't
actually invite us,

- so we deserved whatever we got.
- Well,

it's really just a persona.

Of course. And there were
no jokes about me anyway,

so, I'm lucky, I guess,

to, um, to not be included.

But why wasn't I included?
I can take a joke.

Oh, Elsbeth,
a consent decree lawyer

is just... it's way too hard
to explain to an audience.

Oh.

- Nice.
- Well, when you're on Way Late,

we can say we knew you when.

Oh, that's not actually...

Look, Captain,
I enjoy my comedy,

but this is my work.

Unless lightning strikes, which,

eh, I don't expect, I mean,

this is my career.

I'm learning so much
from all of you. I...

I hope I didn't mess this up.

Officer Hackett...

I'm the that insisted
we go to your show.

This work is intense.

We see most people
on their worst days.

It's important
to have an outlet.

I wanted to support that.

Thank you, sir.

Aw. Do you have an outlet,
Captain?

I mean, besides poker?

Ah, well, I messed around

with some things
during the lockdown,

but nothing
I'd burden an audience with.

I'm not as brave
as Officer Hackett.

What about you, Buzz?

I'm a lifelong Mets fan, too.

Used to sit
up in the nosebleeds and pray

for Dave Kingman
to hit a home run.

It's always been my thing.

You are kidding.

Oh, Twinsies again.

So cute.

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