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1
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,384
Good night, honey.
2
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,688
Good night.
3
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,132
(gasps)
4
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,769
Oh, honey, please not tonight.
5
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:36,970
It's freezing.
6
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,110
* Yes, no, maybe
7
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,678
* I don't know
8
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:48,015
* Can you repeat the question?
9
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,251
* You're not the boss
of me now *
10
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,686
* You're not
the boss of me now *
11
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,055
* You're not the boss
of me now *
12
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,091
* And you're not so big
13
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,593
* You're not the boss
of me now *
14
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,595
* You're not
the boss of me now *
15
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,098
* You're not the boss
of me now *
16
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,934
* And you're not so big
17
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,638
* Life is unfair.
18
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,445
What do
you think?
19
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,448
More salt? More cilantro?
A little zing of Tabasco?
20
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,049
It's perfect.
21
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,917
I can't taste anymore.
22
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,319
Okay, dips--
23
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,121
creamy, salsa,
crab and compote.
24
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,589
Chips--
25
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,825
potato, corn, blue corn,
sour cream and onion,
26
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:35,629
salt and vinegar,
kettle, and baked.
27
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,665
How much did this table cost?
28
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,300
Is this why I didn't
get a birthday present?
29
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,101
Hey, this is my first time
hosting the poker game,
30
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,671
and I want everything perfect
when my friends come over.
31
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,306
Or at least better
than their stuff.
32
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,440
Ooh, I almost forgot.
33
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,108
Do you know Brian's daughter,
Chandra?
34
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,943
Of course.
Yeah.
35
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,412
Well, Brian's
bringing her over tonight,
36
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,780
and I think
she's bringing a friend.
37
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:53,647
Kristen?
38
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:54,748
Uh, yeah, something.
39
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,150
But Brian is playing poker.
40
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,686
So I need you two
to entertain them, understand?
41
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,421
BOTH: Uh-huh.
Now, I mean it, guys.
42
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,022
I don't want you bothering us.
43
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,358
I want you and those girls
in your room all night
44
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,359
with the door closed.
45
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,627
Got it?
46
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,130
There's your
birthday present.
47
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,965
DEWEY:
Who's Chandra?
48
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,469
She's no one to you.
Understood?
49
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,471
If you set one foot
in our room tonight,
50
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,039
you are dead.
51
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,674
Where am I supposed to go?
52
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:21,609
I don't care.
53
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,110
But if I see you tonight,
54
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,013
I will Charlie-horse
every muscle in your body.
55
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,948
But...
It disturbs me
56
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,450
how much
I enjoyed that.
57
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,519
Don't make me
do it again.
58
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,688
Hi, honey.
Hello.
59
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,123
You're working
late tonight, right?
60
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,391
Yeah, 10:30 at least.
61
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,892
Okay, good.
Something came up.
62
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,628
I've got to have
dinner with someone.
63
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,562
Who?
No one.
64
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,796
I mean, it's just
65
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,398
some old business
I have to take care of
66
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,467
and I don't really want
to talk about it now, okay?
67
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,735
Well, can I help?
68
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,470
No, it's fine.
69
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,138
I promise, I'll tell you
everything when you get home.
70
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,006
Okay.
Thanks.
71
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,075
Don't worry. He'll be gone
by the time you get back.
72
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:01,181
Did you catch
that "he" part?
73
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,384
MAN:
Hi, Hal.
74
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,818
Hey, Brian,
how are you?
75
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,654
They're here.
76
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,755
Get out.
77
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,563
Boys,
78
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,564
I know you know Brian
79
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,499
and I think you kids
know each other.
80
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,100
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
No.
81
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,869
Anyway, we're going to leave you
kids to entertain yourselves.
82
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:22,903
Yes, your
father and I
83
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,405
have to conduct
some business.
84
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,074
It seems that he has some
of my money in his wallet.
85
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,742
Bring it on.
All right.
86
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,512
May I take
your wrap?
87
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,114
Listen, just 'cause my dad
dragged us to this dump
88
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,083
doesn't mean we have
to talk to you.
89
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,084
Just show us
where we can sit
90
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,719
where we
won't catch fleas.
91
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,622
I'm gonna go see
what Dewey's doing.
92
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,257
Hey.
93
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,725
(gasping)
94
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,428
(loudly):
Oh, you're Stevie,
95
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,462
right?
96
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,198
Can we help you in?
97
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,467
I'm not...
98
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,269
deaf.
99
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,571
Did you hear
him breathe?
100
00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:00,308
GIRLS:
Aw...
101
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,075
All right,
did you hear the one
102
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,044
about the astronaut
and the hooker?
103
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,546
Yeah.
104
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,581
I didn't get it.
105
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:10,951
Dewey, I told you to
stay in your room.
But Reese said...
106
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,620
No, Dewey, this is man time.
107
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,854
You can't be here.
108
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,423
How's the dip?
109
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,059
Hey, Hal, this is
110
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,060
a sweet table.
111
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,329
What is it,
a 52-incher?
112
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,463
Yes, sirree.
113
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,965
Nice. I got the 54.
Yeah, but
114
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,601
you don't have the built-in
drink holders like I do.
115
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,570
Or the extra-padded leather
around the edges like mine.
116
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,104
You can play all night
117
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,106
and not feel it in
your wrists the next day.
118
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,309
Oh, but this is nice,
too, Hal.
Sweet.
119
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,544
Sweet.
(men laughing)
120
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,482
Hoe do you live your life
with only three keys?
121
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,584
I've got five.
I've got nine.
I got seven.
122
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:47,588
Guys, guys, guys, do we have
to do this every week?
123
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,323
You're right.
124
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,124
So, uh,
how's the kids?
125
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,360
You're just asking
about his kids
126
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:53,427
so you can talk
about yours.
127
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,695
Hey, why shouldn't I?
128
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,464
Did I tell you
that James was made
129
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,865
captain of the wrestling team?
130
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,701
Stevie just wrote
a brand-new antivirus program.
131
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:04,004
My daughter's essay scored her
a trip to the White House.
132
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:09,843
Malcolm has an IQ of 165.
133
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:10,844
We know.
134
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,346
You've been using
that for six months.
135
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,181
(men laughing)
136
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,518
Would you like
something
137
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,720
from the kitchen?
138
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,489
No...
139
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,190
thank you.
140
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,192
He doesn't want anything.
141
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,060
You think they'll offer
to change his diapers?
142
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,696
I can't believe Stevie's
putting up with this.
143
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,398
Maybe we should get him
a blanket.
You know what?
144
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:33,200
I'll take care of it.
Would you like a blanket?
145
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,368
Girls, let
me explain
146
00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,703
something to you about Stevie.
147
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,838
He's no different
than the rest of us.
148
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,740
He plays video games.
149
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,308
He does chores
around the house.
150
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,743
He goes to the movies
with friends.
151
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,945
He leads
a completely normal life.
152
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,080
Which makes it even sadder
153
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,749
that he only has
two months to live.
154
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,384
What?
What?
155
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,285
Stevie,
they have a right to know.
156
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,222
Oh, my God.
157
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,924
Is it true?
158
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,028
I've been told...
159
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,730
I'm very brave.
160
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:03,964
Oh.
161
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,907
(exhales loudly)
162
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,008
129.
163
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,209
That didn't beat Malik.
164
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,344
So, Malik wins
165
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,412
the breath-holding.
166
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,047
Abe got the most
dip on a chip.
167
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,049
Trey has the longest neck.
168
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,851
Steve has the
highest socks,
169
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,018
and Hal, well,
170
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,720
Hal has nothing
so far.
171
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,088
(men laughing)
172
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,690
Yeah, the doctors are baffled.
173
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,259
Stevie's brain is growing
too big for his head.
174
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,528
It's pressing
up against his skull.
175
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:37,465
They say he only has two months
before it explodes.
176
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,301
It's called...
177
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,437
encephalo...
178
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,205
neuryop...
179
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,274
alitis.
180
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,643
How horrible.
Oh, God.
181
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,311
What do you think
you're doing?
182
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,080
Helping Stevie.
183
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,414
It's okay.
184
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,949
It's weird, but it feels
good helping people.
185
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,818
I like being the hero.
186
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,621
You're pimping a fatal disease
to take advantage of a girl.
187
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,122
For good.
188
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,225
Stevie, this is so unfair.
189
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,094
I have...
190
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,062
no regrets.
191
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,331
Well...
192
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,766
one.
193
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,504
(sobbing)
194
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,484
"Old business." What do
you think that means?
I don't know.
195
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:31,819
You think it's an old
boyfriend or something?
196
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,286
You know,
I have no idea what it is.
197
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,254
Sometimes
those old
198
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,624
relationships can really
get a hold on you.
199
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,758
Hey, what's up with
her ex-husband?
200
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,426
He's still in jail.
201
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,829
Didn't his
parole hearing
just come up?
202
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,163
I don't know. Maybe.
203
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,464
Look, she'll tell me
about it tonight.
204
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,933
Whatever it is.
205
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,435
Man, I really admire
your maturity.
Thank you.
206
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,770
I'm the complete
opposite.
207
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,038
I overanalyze
everything.
208
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,973
Like how Piama didn't
kiss you good-bye.
209
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,708
I'd be totally
fixated on that.
210
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,878
Or her ex-husband
being locked up without a woman
211
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,346
for five years.
212
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,548
That's what's
wrong with me.
213
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,149
One suspicious
conversation
214
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,784
and immediately
I'm picturing
215
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,452
sweaty bodies
rolling around
216
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,020
in front of
a fireplace.
217
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,357
God, I got a lot
of growing up to do.
218
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,529
What are you doing here?
219
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,664
Get out.
220
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,065
You kicked me out
of my room already,
221
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,232
so I have nowhere else to go.
222
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,101
That's not my problem.
223
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,874
And I don't want
to hear you crying.
224
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,108
It's a real mood-killer.
225
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,219
Thanks, Chandra.
226
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:40,688
This light's much better
for his eyes.
227
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,722
(ballad plays)
228
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,224
The music...
229
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:45,659
helps regulate...
230
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,227
my heartbeat.
231
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,130
I just have to go call
his vitals in to the doctor.
232
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,711
Missing something?
233
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,412
What did you do with it?
234
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,880
What do you think
you're doing with a gun?
235
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,616
Are you insane?
Give it back.
236
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,550
No. You don't bring
a gun into this house.
237
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,719
You don't get to have a gun.
238
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,753
Where is it?
239
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,454
This is where
my family lives.
240
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,389
You don't even know them
and you bring a gun here?
241
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,691
What the hell is wrong with you?
242
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,192
You'd better tell me
where it is.
243
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,894
No way, you can't
have a gun.
244
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,029
It's not mine.
It's my boyfriend's.
245
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,063
I'm just holding it for him
246
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,364
because his parents
search his room.
247
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,465
Well, they should.
248
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,600
He's got a gun.
249
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:28,869
Tell me where it is.
250
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:29,302
No.
251
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,572
That's not even mine.
252
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,051
Don't you have anything in
this house that isn't junk?!
253
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,485
No.
254
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,625
(all groaning)
255
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,426
Damn!
Big deal.
256
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,863
Who can stuff the most pretzels
in their mouth at one time?
257
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,271
(hacking)
258
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,773
(shouting incoherently)
259
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,841
(coughing)
260
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,820
Okay, who can throw a
potato chip the farthest?
261
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,758
I've never met anyone
who was going to die before.
262
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,094
We're all dying.
263
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,663
I'm just...
264
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,431
going...
265
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,633
before Thanksgiving.
266
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,035
That's terrible.
267
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,537
It makes me...
268
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,873
appreciate...
269
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,474
the time...
270
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,476
I have.
271
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,179
Wow, that's beautiful.
272
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,648
You're so...
273
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,450
alive.
274
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,485
Can I...
275
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,521
tongue-kiss you?
276
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,123
What?
I-I'm sorry.
277
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,158
The pressure...
278
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,326
on my brain...
279
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,327
(groans)
280
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,396
Oh, you poor baby.
281
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,201
What are you doing here?!
282
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,402
What do you think?
283
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,537
Go pee outside.
284
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,474
Oh, for God's sake!
285
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,943
Out.
286
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,251
MAN:
At the tone, the time will be
287
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,020
8:22 and 30 seconds.
288
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,255
TREY:
Bam!
289
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,757
Right to the millisecond.
290
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,558
I'm two seconds off.
I'm three.
291
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,726
Same here.
292
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,661
Hal, you don't even have
a minute hand.
293
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:38,732
Well, it's, it's really
more of a decorative piece.
294
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:39,900
(men laughing)
295
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,943
Where is it?
296
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,144
Where's what?
297
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,920
Full house
298
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,721
nines over aces.
299
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,756
(laughing)
300
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,424
Yeah, looks like
I'm on a roll.
301
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,093
And I expect to stay on one
302
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,229
once I get home to Alana,
if you know what I mean.
303
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,731
So, what is this, the third
Wednesday of the month?
304
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,868
ALL: Ooh!
Hey, I do fine,
thank you very much.
305
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:15,903
Oh, yeah?
306
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,070
What's the number?
307
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,406
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
we're not going to do this.
308
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,174
Just deal the cards, will you?
309
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,476
Three.
310
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,312
Four.
Four.
311
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,446
Five.
312
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,647
Two.
313
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,582
Two?
Ouch.
314
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,218
Just twice a week?
315
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,953
Oh, per week-- oh, then...
316
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:35,555
Fourteen.
317
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,824
14? Come on.
318
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,825
No way.
319
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:38,992
No, he's telling the truth.
320
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,894
Believe me.
I went on vacation with him.
321
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,530
If anything,
he's underselling himself.
322
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,133
Well, I... guess I win.
323
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,300
(chuckling softly)
324
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,803
I mean, it's really
none of your business.
325
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,171
I don't care
326
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,472
how high you wear your socks.
327
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,473
You ain't beating that.
328
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,641
(all laughing)
329
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,276
Hey, hats off
to you, man.
330
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,512
Yeah, now we know why
you're so bad at poker.
331
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,648
I don't even know
how you can keep your eyes open.
332
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,916
(all laughing)
333
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,684
Oh, you'd better watch it, Hal.
334
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,653
She must be angling
for something big.
335
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:07,620
What are you talking about?
336
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,989
Well, you know
she's gonna want
337
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,023
something in exchange.
338
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,691
You don't get anything
free with women.
339
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,826
Listen to you.
340
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,261
With that attitude
341
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,496
it's no wonder
you're not doing any better.
342
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,865
ALL:
Ooh...
343
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,666
Well, don't put that on me, pal.
344
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,101
Uh, can we...?
HAL:
Let me ask you something.
345
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,204
When was the last time
you sent your wife flowers?
346
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,805
Well, how come
it's always the man
347
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,174
that has to send the flowers?
348
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,808
I would love
to get some flowers.
349
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:29,809
Might as well stretch.
350
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,044
This is going
to take a while.
351
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,145
Did you ever
stop to think
352
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,680
that women are independent
353
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:34,882
human beings
354
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:35,782
who can make their own...
355
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,150
...choices?
356
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,886
If you look at any
successful relationship
357
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,221
you'll find one common element
at their core: trust.
358
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,822
That's fine, Francis,
359
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,225
but I really didn't need
the hour-and-20-minute speech.
360
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,794
I was just going to ask
if you wanted to take off early
361
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,729
'cause I was willing
to cover your shift,
362
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,899
but evidently
you're not concerned, so I...
363
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,734
(door slams)
364
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,239
You like...
365
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,640
this?
366
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,242
Oh, yeah.
367
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,410
You know something,
Stevie?
368
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,677
Maybe it was
meant for me
369
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:05,745
to be here with
you, you know?
370
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,480
I mean, wasn't it fate
371
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,483
that made Dawson's Creek
a rerun so I came here?
372
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:17,157
I guess... fate...
can be kind... too.
373
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:21,761
Oh, this is so awful.
374
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:22,896
Stop.
375
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,064
It's okay.
376
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,398
No, it's not okay.
377
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,268
I just keep thinking
about everything
378
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,370
you're going
to miss out on.
379
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,605
You're never
going to grow up.
380
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,508
You're never going
to go to your prom.
381
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,044
I mean,
you're never
382
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,247
going to know what
it's like to be loved.
383
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,282
(sobbing)
384
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,417
What I'm thinking
about doing--
385
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:47,387
it goes against everything
I believe in, okay?
386
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,091
But then, I don't even know
what I believe in anymore.
387
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,625
(sobbing):
It's like,
388
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:57,264
what kind of a God could just
let you die like this?!
389
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,631
(sobbing)
390
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:07,407
I'll ask... when I see him.
391
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,042
When was the last time
392
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,577
you just made time
to talk to her?!
393
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,611
You're perfectly happy
394
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,980
just closing off
395
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,314
and not sharing
your feelings.
396
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,815
Why don't you just
get off my back?!
397
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:16,883
There it is!
398
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,718
You're shutting
me out!
399
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,620
Why can't
you just talk to me?!
400
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,222
So that you can twist
my words around
401
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,823
and just throw
them back at me?
402
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:27,260
How many times do I have
to apologize for that?!
403
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,295
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
404
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,829
Well, I warned you,
405
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:30,998
but you didn't give me
any other choice.
406
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,932
Now my boyfriend's coming over
407
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,068
and he's going to get that gun
from you one way or another.
408
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,469
Oh, little
Markie Rosenbaum's
409
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,005
going to come over
and scare me.
410
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,906
I broke up with Markie.
411
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,975
I'm dating Derek Fowler.
412
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,110
Derek Fowler?!
413
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,244
He's a psycho!
414
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,678
What happened
to Markie?!
415
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:46,813
I loved Markie!
416
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,315
You guys were
great together!
417
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,816
You know, Derek's going
to make you tell him
418
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:50,817
where that gun is.
419
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,152
Where are you going?
420
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,587
I don't want
to be anywhere near here
421
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,655
when he shows up.
422
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,324
Chandra, I'm going home!
423
00:15:57,357 --> 00:16:00,727
STEVIE:
Sayo... nara.
424
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,630
Well, maybe
I'll just call the cops.
425
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:04,764
Go ahead.
426
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,499
Let's hope they get here first.
427
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,208
That's it!
428
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,376
I've had it!
429
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,677
Dewey, shut up!
430
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,680
You guys broke all my stuff!
431
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,349
Look, I've got something
good going on in there
432
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,716
and I don't want
you to ruin it.
433
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,818
This is all I have left!
434
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,157
There. Now you got
nothing to worry about.
435
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,458
End of discussion.
436
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,526
(slams door)
437
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,963
Oh, my God.
438
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,831
How can a night
that started out so badly
439
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,932
get even worse?
440
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,668
Wait.
441
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:42,735
Don't panic.
442
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,137
Think for a second.
443
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,405
No, this is good.
444
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,706
This is sensible.
445
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,043
I make those kind of statements
446
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,679
and just assume
that she knows I'm sorry.
447
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,647
(others murmuring assent)
448
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,149
And you know what?
449
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,550
That's not right.
450
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,686
She deserves better than that.
451
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:00,887
That's all I needed to hear.
452
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,222
I'm going to call
that woman up
453
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,391
and tell her
just how much I love her.
454
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,459
(all chuckling and encouraging)
455
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,200
Hello?
456
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,202
Earl, is that you?
457
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,569
Earl, what the hell
you doing at my house?
458
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,472
Hello?
459
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,945
I-I'm, I'm going
to go home now
460
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,616
'cause I-I got
a thing to do tomorrow.
461
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,884
(all mumbling)
462
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,394
Well, I guess the game's over.
463
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,730
ALL:
Yeah.
464
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,967
You know, I've
wondered why Earl
465
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,902
never came
to the game.
466
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,138
Dad, I've tried
467
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,605
to be understanding
about all this,
468
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,307
but there is a limit.
469
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,544
You have a right to know
what's going on in this house.
470
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,912
Dewey,
now is not the time to be...
471
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,448
Normally,
I don't mind
472
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,617
being a snitch,
but this even makes me sad.
473
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,019
This is what
your son is up to.
474
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,323
Stevie! What are you doing?!
475
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,058
DEWEY:
Where's Reese?!
476
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,394
REESE:
I was about to take
a scented bath.
477
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,628
Is something
going on?
478
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,997
Lamb chop! Put
your sweater on!
479
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,700
Dad... I...
480
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,871
Stevie, how cou...?
481
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,742
It's not...
482
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,178
what it looks like.
483
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,079
Well, it looks...
484
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,882
like she was on your lap!
485
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,018
(gunshot and screaming)
486
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,621
Oh, my God, his head exploded!
487
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,323
Abe, are you okay?
488
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,491
(wheezing)
489
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,163
I think so.
490
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,631
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
491
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,732
Is everyone okay?!
492
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,371
I mean... what was that?
493
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,139
Face it, Dad.
494
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,841
You were
a crappy father.
495
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,543
All you ever cared about
496
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,878
was women, drinking,
and stealing.
497
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,046
You know what?
498
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,182
I can't talk
about this anymore.
499
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,684
How many times
do I have to say it?
500
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,119
I need money!
501
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,421
FRANCIS:
Guess who's home.
502
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,689
What are you doing here?!
503
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:17,957
I got off early.
504
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,793
Hello. I'm Francis,
Piama's husband.
505
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,561
You're married?
506
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,895
Hmm...
507
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,731
Didn't think that
was worth mentioning?
508
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,965
Very cozy.
509
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,268
Francis, I told you I...
510
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:32,405
Hey, I had a life
before I met you.
511
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,742
Maybe I haven't
been fair to you.
512
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,578
I mean, our relationship
wasn't all bad.
513
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,847
Remember
all the tickle fights?
514
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,415
Oh, yeah, those were wild.
515
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,350
(both laughing)
516
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,084
I remember this one time
517
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,387
we were taking a bath together,
and she started squirming...
518
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,056
Ah! No, I don't want
to hear this!
519
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,391
Aw, come on.
520
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,560
It's a funny story,
Francis.
521
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:56,596
And he loves telling it,
don't you, Dad?
522
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,197
"Dad"?
523
00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,732
Yup.
524
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,068
I just...
Oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.
525
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:04,737
I just... I mean,
it's a real pleasure
526
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:05,938
to meet you, sir.
527
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,574
Do you have
any money?
528
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,409
No.
529
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:12,312
Well, tonight's been
a big ball of nothing.
530
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,619
I'm going to go
finish off my shift.
531
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,625
Love you, honey!
532
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,728
You are never seeing
that girl again.
533
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:29,929
And you sure as hell
534
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,531
are never seeing
that boy again.
535
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,699
You know what?
536
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,435
You are not seeing
daylight for the
next six months.
537
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,969
OFFICER:
Just tell me
what happened.
538
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:42,108
We... were playing...
539
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,443
cards.
540
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,911
Okay.
541
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,213
Let's start with you.
542
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:51,318
Well...
543
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,753
it's like...
544
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,389
...this.
545
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,324
So, let me see.
546
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,325
You found a gun.
547
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,792
Didn't tell your father.
548
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,961
Handled it,
hid it inside the house.
549
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,596
Handled it again to move it
550
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,832
and tried to destroy it
with a hacksaw.
551
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,401
And at no point
did you contact the police
552
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,136
until after the gun went off.
553
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,638
Yes.
554
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,273
What did you say your IQ was?
555
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:16,809
Man, what a night.
556
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,311
When that thing
went off,
557
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,580
I couldn't believe
how scared I was.
558
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,181
You were scared?
559
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,183
Hey, I was way more scared
than you guys.
560
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,251
Are you kidding me?
561
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,519
I screamed
like a little girl.
562
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:28,955
Puh-leeze! I could
have broke glass
the way I screamed.
563
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,957
You sounded like a hero
compared to how I...
564
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,660
(men arguing)
34963
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