Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,264
Hey.
2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,439
What are we watching?
3
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,180
A documentary
on eye surgery.
4
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,442
They're reattaching
a retina.
5
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,096
MAN:
The procedure involves
6
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,489
making small incisions
into the wall of the eye
7
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,317
to allow the introduction
of instruments
8
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,102
[drill whirring]into the vitreous cavity.
9
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,407
Is there
anything else on?
10
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,930
Dad, this is
interesting.
11
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,323
I might be a
doctor someday.
12
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,890
You're right,
you're right.
13
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,197
The draining of the vitreous,
the clear, gel-like fluid
14
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,199
that fills
the back of the eye...
15
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,940
Ah! Uh, I'm going
to go read.
16
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,642
WOMAN:
Kiki beats the heat
in a red chiffon teddy.
17
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,165
You don't want to watch
a lingerie calendar shoot
18
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,253
with your dad.
19
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,428
And Alexandra likes...
20
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:41,171
♪ Yes, no, maybe
21
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,086
♪ I don't know
22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,350
♪ Can you repeat the question?
23
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:49,136
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
24
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,486
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
25
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,010
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
26
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,099
♪ And you're not so big
27
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,101
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
28
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,495
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
29
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,366
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
30
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,935
♪ And you're not so big
31
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:10,592
♪ Life is unfair.
32
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:11,897
Come on!
33
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,377
You boys are late.
34
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,596
I want you out of this house
in 30 seconds.
35
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:15,945
Let's show some hustle.
36
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,381
We've got time.
37
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,167
When we're really late, our
lunches are on the front lawn.
38
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,260
Mom, Reese...
39
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,826
Go, go, go, go!
[grunts]
40
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,133
Okay, I'm doing dry
cleaner, mechanic
41
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,134
and post office.
42
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,570
You're doing groceries and DMV,
right?
43
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:33,745
Right.You got the cable bill?
44
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,399
Great. Bye, guy.
45
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,625
Did I just say
"Bye, guy" to you?
46
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,017
I'm pretty sure you did.
47
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,802
"Guy?" I-I-I called you "guy"?!
48
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,064
How can that happen?
49
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,631
I've never done that before.
50
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,589
Hal, it's a lapse; it
doesn't mean anything.
51
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,287
"Guy"?!Hal, it happens.
52
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,419
Let's get one thing clear.
53
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:59,249
In no way, shape, or form
do I think of you as a guy.
54
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,163
You are a gorgeous,
55
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,426
exciting, feminine goddess
56
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:06,256
that I still don't know
what I've done to deserve.
57
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,866
Do you understand that?
58
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:09,824
Yes.
59
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,047
Let's do this walking.
60
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,355
Okay, just for
argument's sake,
61
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:21,837
let's say Dr. Bombay was
one of the MASH surgeons.
62
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,317
I'd still want
Hawkeye operating
63
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,623
on my perforated aorta.
64
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,625
It's experience
that counts.
65
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,410
Think about it.
66
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,282
[thunder crashing]
67
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,808
Will you hurry up
with those dishes?--
my bubbles are evaporating.
68
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,810
Eric, you're not
going to believe this.
69
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,292
I swear I just saw
Commandant Spangler
70
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,554
standing outside
the window.
71
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,252
That's not even funny,
Francis.
72
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,428
There are some things
you just don't joke about,
73
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:50,213
and that hook-handed maniac
is at the top of the list.
74
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,475
But he was so real.
75
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,998
It was like being back
at military school.
76
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,391
I know.
77
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:56,045
For a long time, I saw him
every time I shut my eyes.
78
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,352
You just have to remember
we escaped
79
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,396
from that hellhole.
80
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,484
We made it out
81
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,138
and found better lives
for ourselves.
82
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,139
Now, let's get
83
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,227
these dishes done.
84
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,576
We still have
to snake out the toilets
85
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,099
before we can
call it a night.
86
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,625
[thunder crashing]
87
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,368
Hey, guys, wait up!
88
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,108
[panting]
89
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,286
[clattering]
90
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,506
Hi.
91
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,682
I'm Dewey.
92
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,293
You smell terrible.
93
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,729
I like you.
94
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,949
Maybe you could
come home with me.
95
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,256
Dewey, you're not allowed
to have a dog, remember?
96
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,258
We want you
to be miserable.
97
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,478
That's right, son,
it's our job to make sure
98
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,523
we're as unfair
as possible to you.
99
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,264
Don't listen
to them, Dewey.
100
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,092
I've studied the
matter thoroughly,
101
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,312
and I'm convinced you
can get away with it.
102
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,229
All you have to do
is hide me. Hmm.
103
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,755
I'll call you Marshmallow.
104
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,933
["Tonight's the Night"
playing]
105
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:05,462
♪ Tonight's the night
106
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,771
♪ It's gonna be all right
107
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,340
♪ 'Cause I love you, girl
108
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,517
♪ Ain't nobody
gonna stop us now... ♪
109
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,303
[laughing]
110
00:04:20,346 --> 00:04:21,522
Hal, what are you doing here?
111
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,567
Well, you're off work
in five minutes,
112
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,700
and I am here to whisk you away
for a night of romance.
113
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:28,572
Oh, honey, that's so sweet,
but I can't.
114
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,922
I've got to cover
for Craig tonight.
115
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,359
Why?!
116
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,708
Oh, he's sick as a dog.
117
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,580
Come on! You know that guy's
the biggest faker in the world.
118
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,408
The last time
he was out with the flu,
119
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:42,107
we saw him jumping up and down
in the window on The Today Show.
120
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,545
That doesn't mean
I wasn't sick.
121
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,373
You didn't happen to tape that,
did you?
122
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,939
I set my timer wrong.
123
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,463
Oh, honey,
124
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,507
I'm so sorry.
125
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,205
After all the trouble
you went through.
126
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,772
No. It's no big deal.
127
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,384
Really, it wasn't any trouble.
128
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
Thanks again
for the ride home.
129
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,606
Wow.
130
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,391
So, this is
what it would have been like
131
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,783
to go to my prom.
132
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,569
All I wanted was
a nice evening with my wife.
133
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:09,613
I even dug up
134
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:10,614
the wedding vows
135
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,269
I never was able
to read to her.
136
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,401
What happened?
137
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,403
Oh, she went into labor
with Francis
138
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,969
in the middle of the ceremony.
139
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:21,146
I was going to read
them to her tonight.
140
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:24,498
God... now I feel awful.
141
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,151
Don't worry
about it, Craig.
142
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,153
It's not your fault.
143
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,373
No, I really feel awful.
144
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,723
[retching]
145
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,770
[Marshmallow whining]
146
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,779
[whining]
147
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:52,264
Shh.
148
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,571
[whispering]:
Are you awake?
149
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,007
[Marshmallow whining]
150
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,532
Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry about tonight.
151
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,621
Listen, tomorrow night,
I'm going to fix us
152
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,405
such a special dinner--
just the two of us.
153
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,580
We'll lock the boys
in the garage,
154
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,452
open a bottle of wine--
it'll be great.
155
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,671
[Marshmallow whining]
156
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:11,458
Oh, I know, honey, I know.
157
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,418
That's all I have.
158
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,638
[whining]
159
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,167
[sighing]
160
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,492
Is the roast
medium rare?
161
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,884
Did you put the
wine in the fridge?
162
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,495
Mom, my roast
is perfect.
163
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,714
I never even knew
we had fancy silverware.
164
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,586
When was the last time
you used this?
165
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:53,587
The night you were conceived.
166
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,718
You want more details?
167
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:55,719
No.Good.
168
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,678
Thank you so much
for your help!
169
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,723
Now, get in your room,
and don't make a peep
170
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:00,898
for the next
five hours.
171
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,552
Move!
172
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,514
[Marshmallow whining,
Dewey grunting]
173
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:08,645
He's not a dog.
174
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,255
He's just pretend.
175
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,127
What's for dinner?[door closes]
176
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,521
A dog? Busted!
177
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,523
Please don't tell Mom! Please!
178
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:17,741
Do you have
a death wish?
179
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,308
Just let me have him one night.
180
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,614
I love him, and he loves me.
181
00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:21,615
Please, please!
182
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,573
Okay, Dewey, relax.
183
00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:24,618
We won't tell.
184
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,316
Thank you!
185
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,709
So, when do we tell?
186
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,711
As soon as
Dad gets home.
187
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,103
It'll be funnier.
188
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,062
I couldn't sleep at all
last night.
189
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,412
Me, too. It's like there's
something creepy in the air.
190
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,587
SPANGLER:
Francis!
191
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723
Commandant Spangler.
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,159
[pans clattering]
193
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,683
What are you doing
in Alaska?
194
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,599
I've come for you,Francis!
195
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,429
I've been searching for you
for months.
196
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,562
Me? Why?
197
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,129
Why?!
198
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,176
Because...
199
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:06,311
after 32 years as an educator
and disciplinarian,
200
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,009
your desertion
201
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,445
stood out as my
202
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,795
only failure--
203
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,015
a failurethat...
204
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:17,322
haunted my every waking moment.
205
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:20,674
I began to see your face
206
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,590
and those of other
young cadets who didn't
207
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:26,941
deserve the wrath that I poured
down on their innocent souls.
208
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,204
There was a lawsuit.
209
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:32,554
Charges were filed.
210
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,383
Disgrace.
211
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,472
I can't even remember the fire.
212
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:42,130
But I doremember the cause
213
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,653
for all of my
214
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,481
suffering.
215
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,790
I saw the stupid,grinning face
216
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:55,056
of the one person responsible
for all of my suffering.
217
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,362
Who?
218
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,712
[quavering yell]:
Die!
219
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,671
Die!
220
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,673
Die!
221
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,805
Die...
Sir, cut it out.
222
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,371
Your hooks are cold.
223
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:10,637
[drunken sobbing]
224
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,999
And then
Dewey and Marshmallow
225
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,696
killed the evil dragon,
226
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,611
rescued the
poodle princess
227
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,657
and flew all the
way back home.
228
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,704
And they got medals
and big, red capes,
229
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,793
and everybody
loved them.
230
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,753
[whines]
231
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,755
Are you okay?
232
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,106
Marshmallow.
233
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,238
[grunts]
Whoa.
234
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,718
[gasping]
235
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,896
Marshmallow, stop!
236
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,290
LOIS: Boys, I thought I told you
to stay in your room!
237
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,857
Marshmallow, hide!
238
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,691
[growling softly]
239
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,695
I don't understand it!
240
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,522
An entire roast
241
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:11,915
with your bare hands?!
242
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:15,789
T-th-the, the
salad, the potatoes,
t-the green beans?!
243
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,921
What do you
have to say for yourself?!
244
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,314
I was hungry, I guess.
245
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,576
This is great.
246
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,795
Let's tell them
about the dog
247
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,318
and really nail
his coffin shut.
248
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,449
Not yet; I
have a hunch.
249
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:27,365
An entire stick of butter?!
250
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,889
[sotto voce]:
Now! Let's tell them now!
251
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,673
Wait for it,
wait for it.
252
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,283
Wait a second.
253
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:35,504
How could you eat... a candle?
254
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,940
I like candles.
255
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,768
I think they're good.
256
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:39,856
That's it!
257
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,773
You are going to the hospital
and getting your stomach pumped.
258
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,736
[phone ringing, indistinct
announcement over P.A.]
259
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,955
All right, young man.
260
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,827
I think you're empty.
261
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,350
Well?
262
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,612
He's fine.
263
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,744
We didn't find
any candles,
264
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,310
but we did find
some marbles
265
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,530
and the waistband to
a pair of underpants.
266
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:02,966
Don't ask.
267
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,881
Thank you, Doctor.
268
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:07,101
All right, Dewey,
this is the end.
269
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,493
You and your brothers
270
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,800
are now officially
in the red zone.
271
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,367
But...Red zone, mister!
272
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,760
Now, tomorrow night
273
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,718
I am taking your mother out
on an emergency date.
274
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,330
It will be a beautiful,
romantic, magical evening
275
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,593
that we need very badly,
276
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,944
and nothing
is going to derail it
277
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,859
on penalty of death.
278
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,470
Good.
279
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,908
Do you want your army man?
280
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,738
Okay.
281
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,522
So, how's he doing?
282
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,176
I was up with
him all night.
283
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,395
It got pretty wild
284
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:43,528
but I think he's
doing better now.
285
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,573
I want to die!
286
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:47,532
Why can't I just die?
287
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,795
Stop talking
like that, sir.
288
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,623
This is just
a momentary setback.
289
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,974
I have nothing to live for.
290
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,628
Mother no longer
acknowledges me.
291
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,805
I have no friends, no money.
292
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:03,635
I won't even tell you how I paid
for my journey up here.
293
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,768
If it means anything
to you, sir,
294
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,988
you taught me
how to be a man.
295
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:11,252
I have no idea
who you are.
296
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,688
You don't remember me?
297
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,820
After all that
time at Marlin,
298
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,865
the hell that you
put me through,
299
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,432
you don't even
remember me?
300
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,957
Cadet Dudley?
301
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,046
No! Eric!
302
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,570
I just spent the last
ten hours cradling you!
303
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,138
Sir, this is because
you're not feeling useful.
304
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,923
Look, I've talked
to some people
305
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,229
and I think I may
have found you a job.
306
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:34,014
A what?
307
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:34,797
It'd be with
the Interior Department.
308
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,668
You'd be helping
the environment,
309
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,061
working with people--
310
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,802
you would be making
a real difference.
311
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:42,065
I can do that.
312
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,633
Thank you, son.
313
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:45,982
And please, thank that girl
314
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,942
for rocking me in her arms
all night long.
315
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,910
[retching]
316
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,176
All right,
who's ready
317
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,657
for a fantastic
night on the town?
318
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,658
Oh...
319
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,051
Hal, they're beautiful.
320
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,313
Just give me
321
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:15,272
two minutes to freshen up
and I'll be ready to roll.
322
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,884
Just stay put, Dewey.
323
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,102
You're doing great.
324
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:23,106
We've been in here
for three hours.
325
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:27,110
Hey, I'm just looking out
for your best interest.
326
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,416
Okay, Dad just
came home.
327
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,200
Let's tell them now
so it ruins their date.
328
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,115
Or, we can wait till
they come home
329
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,551
and they might
be drunk.
330
00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:34,988
This is true.
331
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,206
All right, boys--
332
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,904
your father and I
are leaving now.
333
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:40,123
I left the number for the
restaurant on the counter.
334
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,256
[retching in other room]If we get a call,
it better be from the coroner.
335
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,214
[toilet flushing]Nothing is going to ruin
this night!
336
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:49,306
M'lady, your
carriage awaits.
337
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,918
[giggling]
338
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,704
Well, I'm out of here.
339
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:56,879
Back at 10:00?
340
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,141
Sounds good.
341
00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,577
Dewey, you and
your dopey dog
342
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,231
are on your own
for an hour or two.
343
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,364
Nope.What are you talking about?
344
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,756
Did something
happen to the dog?
345
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,497
Oh, he's fine.
He's just busy destroying
346
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:07,890
your comic book collection.
347
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,022
What?
348
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,070
[snarling]
349
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,681
That's it.
350
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,770
You're getting rid
of that thing right now!
351
00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,120
And you'regoing
to pay for this!
352
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,557
I don't think so.Oh, I
think so.
353
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,559
[barking]
354
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,952
[gasping]
355
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,084
[barking]
356
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,695
Sit!
357
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:31,914
[growling]
358
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,960
I wasn't talking to him.
359
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,832
[growling continues]
360
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,537
Ever since
the day I was born,
361
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:49,540
you guys
have been torturing me.
362
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,717
I remember you trying to switch
me for another baby at the park.
363
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:55,807
I remember you telling me
the tooth fairy was a vampire.
364
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:56,939
I remember every
365
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,202
wet Willie,
every booger sandwich,
366
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,812
every stink hat...
367
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,205
Dewey, we're sorry.
368
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:05,208
...every waffle butt,
every chester backster
369
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,993
and every purple nurple!
370
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:07,994
And now
371
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,560
you're going to pay.
372
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,084
[barks]
373
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,824
Dewey, this isn't
going to work.
374
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,000
Mom and Dad will be home
in a few hours,
375
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:17,090
that dog will be gone,
you'll be in trouble,
376
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,092
and we'll kick your ass
for the next ten years.
377
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,093
I know.
378
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,877
So we'd better get started.
379
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,139
What do you want?
380
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,881
Everything.
381
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,971
I want everything.
382
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,583
Hal, this place
is beautiful.
383
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:33,454
It's so romantic.
384
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,977
Everything is
fabulous.
385
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,979
Yes, it is fabulous.
386
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:37,980
Look, they have
387
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,155
your favorite-- oysters!
388
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,591
We'll have to order
some of those.
389
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,463
Actually,
I had a big batch
390
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,247
of oysters for lunch.
391
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,335
You did?
392
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,641
Where did you
get oysters?
393
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,599
A guy has a cart
outside the building.
394
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:52,386
Besides, I am dying
to try this plain broth--
395
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:53,691
they're famous for it.
396
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,041
For their broth?
What are you talking about?
397
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,260
Is that your friend Suzy
from work?
398
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,219
Who, that fat old man?
399
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:02,048
Never mind.
I'm just so excited to be here.
400
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,353
Excuse me, sorry.
401
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,572
Please,
402
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,921
could you turn the air
conditioning like
403
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,227
10-15 degrees colder?
404
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,272
Okay.
405
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,361
Okay...
406
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:14,060
Hal... what are
you up to?
407
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,670
I'll never tell.
408
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,932
I love this.
409
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,717
I'm having such
a great time.
410
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,242
Me, too.
411
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,722
Excuse me.
412
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,072
Hurry back.
413
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:30,511
[shuddering]
414
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,165
Excuse me.
415
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,296
I need your help.
416
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,820
Here-- here's $20.
417
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,084
Go and buy me some medicine--
some cold medicine--
418
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,824
and serve it to me
in a champagne glass.
419
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,088
But I-I...Just stop talking and go!
420
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,046
[moaning]
421
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,135
DEWEY:
Pencils down.
422
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:50,444
Who wants to read
their essay first?
423
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,143
Marshmallow,
why don't you choose?
424
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,625
[barks]
425
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,496
"50 reasons why Dewey
426
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,541
"is the greatest
brother
427
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,759
"in the history
of the universe
428
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,239
and I'm a worthless
chunk of garbage."
429
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,459
Is that what we were
supposed to be writing about?
430
00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,069
From the top.
431
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,724
"50 reasons why Dewey is the
greatest brother in the...
432
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:11,900
Stop.
433
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,337
Something's not right.
434
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,124
Wait.
435
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,127
There.
436
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,259
Continue.
437
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:24,347
[doorbell rings]
438
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:27,307
Nobody move.[knocking on door]
439
00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:29,439
CRAIG:
Hello?! I know
440
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,701
someone's home.
441
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,877
I saw shapes moving
on the curtain!
442
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,184
Marshmallow, guard.
443
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,579
Hey, sport,
is your dad home?
444
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,971
No, they went to a restaurant,
445
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,930
but they said you
should go over...
446
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,453
Well, I just came
to drop off some pants.
447
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,107
They got out...Craig, help!
448
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,543
REESE:
Help up, please!
449
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:47,544
Dewey's gone crazy.
450
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:48,502
He's holding us prisoner.
451
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,069
[Marshmallow growls]
452
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:55,161
I'm sorry you had to see this.
453
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,337
[Marshmallow growls]
454
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,121
Number 12...
455
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,471
his twinkling eyes.
456
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,690
To us.
457
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:03,995
To us.
458
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,258
You know, Lois...
459
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,303
LOIS [thinking]:
Don't pass out.
460
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,175
No! No, keep it together.
461
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,394
Smile, smile! Laugh!
462
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,222
[laughter]
463
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,050
HAL [thinking]:
You're going to throw up.
464
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,313
Okay, if it comes to it,
aim for the ice bucket.
465
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,359
[laughter]
466
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:22,405
♪ We're stinky and evil,
we're dumb and sarcastic ♪
467
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,015
♪ While Dewey, in contrast
468
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,408
♪ Is super fantastic
469
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,323
♪ And that's why Dewey is king
470
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:30,283
[harmonizing]:
♪ Why Dewey is king.
471
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,328
Hey, it's haircut time.
472
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,636
Think of your favorite Stooge,
and I'll be right back.
473
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,248
Marshmallow, if anyone moves,
eatthem.
474
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,380
This is insane.
475
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,382
We've got to do something.
476
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,383
I'm Moe.
477
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,297
We don't have
a choice.
478
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,950
I say at the
count of three,
479
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,562
we split up and all run
for different doors.
480
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,433
Are you nuts?
He might get one of us.
481
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,434
MALCOLM:
Yeah, but two of us
482
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,870
will get away
and go for help.
483
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:56,178
I'm willing if you are.
I can't sing anymore.
484
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,442
Ready? On three.
485
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,313
One...
486
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,792
two...
487
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,054
three.
488
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,534
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go!
489
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,579
Go, go, go, go![barking]
490
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,102
No. Good dog! No, no!
491
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,235
[screaming]
Ah! Ooh! Not the face!
492
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,324
[screaming]
493
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,325
Craig's a good guy.
494
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,022
He always comes
through for us.
495
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,023
I couldn't find
496
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,416
any rusty scissors,
so we're going to have
497
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,374
to use...
498
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,549
Where is he?
499
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,203
He should have
been back by now.
500
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,248
Look at this,
my palms are sweaty.
501
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:25,338
Would you calm down?
Here he comes.
502
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,255
So?
503
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:33,998
[slurring]:
For some reason, I was fired.
504
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:37,480
I don't believe it,
he's drunk again.
505
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,482
You're just going to have
to face it, Francis--
506
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,354
there's no hope
for this guy.
507
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,877
The only thing that ever
made him remotely happy
508
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,010
was tormenting
and bullying helpless students.
509
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,708
Without that, he's nothing.
510
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:53,017
You call that a collage?
511
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,367
Is it an insult
512
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,846
to the craft.
513
00:19:55,890 --> 00:20:00,111
I can see paste coming up over
the top of the Popsicle stick.
514
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,678
I'm sorry, I have arthritis.
515
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:02,636
That's it.
516
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:05,465
You have just lost pudding
517
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,467
for the whole group.
518
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:12,472
Feel free to thank
Mrs. Meekitjuk after I leave.
519
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,479
I feel like dancing.
520
00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:21,002
Me, too.
521
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:48,769
Oh, darling,
there's something
522
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,161
I've wanted
to say to you
523
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,293
for the longest time.
524
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,163
Uh-huh?
525
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:55,906
I have to go
to the hospital.
526
00:20:55,950 --> 00:21:00,563
Oh, Hal, you don't know
how happy that makes me.
527
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:04,524
REESE:
What do you think?
528
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:05,307
One more can?
529
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,353
No, we don't want
to spoil him.
530
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:09,311
Besides,
he probably has to go
531
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,747
to the bathroom now.
532
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:13,141
Who wants to go out
in the front yard?
533
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:16,013
I'll remember this,too.
534
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:18,451
"And how can words
describe how I feel
535
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,714
on this, the day
of our marriage?"
536
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:24,021
"You are my day, my night,
the sun in my sky.
537
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,676
You are the Duran
to my Duran."
538
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,592
Oh, Hal.
539
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:32,682
"Her name is Lois and
she dances on the sand
540
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,555
just like that river twisting
through a dusty land..."
33845
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof