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1
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,353
Great pancakes, Dad.
2
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,756
Oh, thanks.
3
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,325
Hey, who's ready for seconds?
4
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,693
(coughs)
5
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,994
I am.
6
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,598
* Yes, no, maybe
7
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,033
* I don't know
8
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,337
* Can you repeat the question?
9
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,506
* You're not the boss
of me now *
10
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,041
* You're not
the boss of me now *
11
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,344
* You're not the boss
of me now *
12
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,446
* And you're not so big
13
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,048
* You're not the boss
of me now *
14
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,050
* You're not
the boss of me now *
15
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,686
* You're not the boss
of me now *
16
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,523
* And you're not so big
17
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:59,793
* Life is unfair.
18
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,897
So, which one
of these pinks
19
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,434
do you want
to let float this month--
20
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,868
cable or Visa?
21
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,203
Oh, we can probably
go without cable.
22
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,438
You know,
it might be fun.
23
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,039
We'll get together
as a family,
24
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,241
play board games,
sing songs.
25
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,708
Okay, you made
your point.
26
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,310
We'll pay the cable.
27
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,746
Oh... for crying
out loud.
28
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,281
The freezer's
out again.
29
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,215
What?!
30
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,217
We just had that fixed.
31
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,486
I know, the stupid
piece of junk.
32
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,320
Oh...
33
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,821
It's only five
years old.
34
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,124
How could it keep
breaking down?
35
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,461
Aw, man!
36
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,663
(screaming)
37
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,168
I'll go get the ice chest
from the garage,
38
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,569
providing that still works.
39
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,570
REESE:
Nuh-uh!
40
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,304
MALCOLM:
Uh-huh!
41
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,572
We'll let Mom settle this.
42
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,174
The loser licks
the tub drain.
Deal.
43
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,841
Mom, whose
tongue's longer?
44
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,077
(pounding on window)
45
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,914
Are you going to make us
stand out here all day?!
46
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,949
Mom! Dad!
47
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,818
(whispering):
Oh, my God, honey!
48
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,187
Your parents are here!
49
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,027
Oh, God.
50
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:10,431
Dewey, your grandparents
are here.
51
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,100
Hey, come on in.
52
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,435
So, this
is certainly
unexpected.
53
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,570
What brings you
all the way down
from Canada?
54
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,773
Wait a minute,
this can't be Reese.
55
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,841
Yep.
56
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,210
Uh, what's the matter with you?
57
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,844
Don't you clean
behind your ears?
58
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:24,945
Look what I found!
59
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:25,946
Ha-ha, five bucks!
60
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,947
Thanks, Grandpa.
61
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,148
(chuckles)
62
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,284
So, Grandpa, did you
have a nice drive down?
63
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:33,554
Huh?
I said, did you have
a nice drive down?
64
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,956
I can't hear this one.
He sounds like girl.
65
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,958
So, you just decided
to hop in the car
66
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,126
and drive on down
from Canada
67
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,961
without calling ahead, huh?
68
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,029
How fun!
69
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,797
Yeah, how long do you
think you'll be staying?
70
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:46,967
If we're such big
inconvenience,
we go right now.
71
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,302
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
72
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,303
Please...
Don't be silly.
73
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,072
Uh, Dewey, you remember
your grandparents,
74
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,974
don't you, sweetie?
75
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,976
He needs changing.
76
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,878
He always needs changing.
77
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:58,979
You take him.
78
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,814
Ooh, let him sit in it.
79
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,882
That will teach him.
80
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,083
(laughs nervously)
81
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,152
I don't want to take him;
he smells.
82
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,221
(baby crying)
83
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:11,058
Ooh, that's what happens
to little boys who squirm.
84
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,360
Mmm...
85
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,930
REPORTER:
It's estimated that as many
as 30,000 young people
86
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,233
have descended on New Orleans
87
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,435
to join in the annual
Mardi Gras festivities.
88
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,171
At this hour police have been
called in to try and...
89
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,440
Look at those animals
going berserk,
90
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,677
tearing each other's
clothes off.
91
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,444
Those are people
92
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,179
with no respect
for authority.
93
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,581
Eric's right,
that could be us.
94
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,715
If we left right now
95
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,750
we could be
in New Orleans
in five hours.
96
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,051
How we going
to get there?
97
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,287
And where are
we going to stay?
98
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,721
Gentlemen, you
quibble with me
99
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,424
about logistics
when I'm offering
you 48 hours
100
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,793
of non-stop debauchery?
101
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,862
This could be the greatest
weekend of our lives.
102
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,865
(whimpering)
103
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,866
Damn, Francis,
104
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,634
you should have
known better
105
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,369
than to eat sushi
at a truck stop.
106
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,438
Hey, the cashier said
the yellowtail was fresh.
107
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,407
Besides, my octopus
was excellent.
108
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,975
Can we not talk about
the fish, please?
109
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,211
Guys, it's like a war zone
out there.
110
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,946
There's looting,
rioting, and now
111
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,248
the cops are turning
a fire hose on the crowd.
112
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,251
ALL:
Wet T-shirts!
113
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,388
(muffled coughing)
114
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,923
Sorry about the takeout.
115
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,757
I don't know what the deal
is with the fridge.
116
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,459
What do you expect?
117
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,762
That brand is dishufka.
118
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,433
That's it.
119
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,434
Fatten up on pizza.
120
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,001
Good luck running
121
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,372
when they come with
the dogs and chase
you into the hills.
122
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,241
You know, I think
it's great
123
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,076
you're able to
just hit the road
124
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,578
without a care
in the world.
125
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,414
Oh... right...
yeah, with me
126
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,750
I'm always thinking
about things back home.
127
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,785
You know, did I
leave the stove on?
128
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,620
Is the iron plugged in?
129
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,022
I once heard of a fire
being caused by a mouse
130
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,023
chewing through an...
131
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,425
Where is my coffee?
132
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:55,195
Uh, it's right here, Dad,
just the way you like it.
133
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,630
Mom, I really wish
134
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,965
you'd put out that cigarette.
135
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,266
It's not good
for the kids.
136
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,034
What, you think
it'll stunt their growth?
137
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,035
(sputters)
138
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,337
You turned out big enough.
139
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,107
Look at him eat,
like animal!
140
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,108
(laughs)
141
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:08,976
Not like Mr. Pizza
142
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,011
with knife and fork.
143
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,346
You know, Dad,
144
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,781
since the last time
you were here,
145
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,283
uh, Malcolm has been
put into a special class.
146
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,618
I'm not surprised.
147
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,052
No, no, no, no,
no, it's, uh,
148
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,954
it's an advanced class.
149
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,222
It's very challenging work.
150
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,891
Tell him, Malcolm.
151
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,826
Well, today we finished
reading Grapes of Wrath
152
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,461
and we're studying
advanced algebra.
153
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,297
(shouting):
What is that,
shot at me?
154
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,632
I no study algebra?
155
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,634
It's because I go to war
when I was your age.
156
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,837
What good is math
in war, huh?
157
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,475
When you can provide
for your family,
158
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:46,714
you can have
last piece of pizza.
159
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:51,419
Dad, Hal provides
for us just fine.
160
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,321
Which isn't easy when someone's
hogging all the pizza.
161
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,490
You can't even keep food
in the house
162
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,191
for my grandchild.
163
00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,493
Do you call that providing?
164
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,095
We will get
the refrigerator fixed.
165
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,564
For what, so
it can break again?
166
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,332
What does a new one cost?
167
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,601
$700, $800?
168
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,203
I give you $800
to buy a new one!
169
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,841
Thank God our generation knew
to save our money, to hold onto.
170
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,377
We didn't fritter it away
on things like toys and dolls.
171
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,680
I dressed up
piece of wood
172
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,214
and I was happy
to have it.
173
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,117
We will not take your money.
174
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,953
Of course you will!
175
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,755
We love you too much to stand by
176
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:31,024
and watch your children
grow up ashamed of you.
177
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,960
This is what family
is for.
178
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,228
MALCOLM (over phone):
Hello.
179
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,697
FRANCIS:
Malcolm, listen,
180
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,866
I need to know what Mom
used to put in the hot tea
181
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,867
when we were sick.
182
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,868
Is she around?
183
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,403
I think she's changing
the sheets on their bed.
184
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,538
Grandma and Grandpa are here.
185
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,273
(groaning):
Oh, you're kidding.
186
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,941
So, did they knock,
or did you just hear
187
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,943
their cloven hooves
clatter up the driveway?
188
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,379
I can't be sure,
but I think Grandpa spit at me.
189
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,381
Look, don't take it personally.
190
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,717
They're primeval creatures
with tiny little hearts.
191
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,252
Yeah, but there must be
some reason...
192
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,288
Malcolm, they have
stupid lizard brains.
193
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,556
They're threatened by anyone
194
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,892
with an ounce of ambition
or intelligence.
195
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,860
They'd eat you
if they had better teeth.
196
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:10,564
This one, always on phone.
197
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,799
That's Grandpa, isn't it?
198
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,267
Tell him I said he's
a malevolent, poisonous troll.
199
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,504
Francis says, "Hi."
200
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,271
No-good delinquent.
201
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,607
He says "Hi" back.
202
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,342
LOIS:
No, absolutely not.
203
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,944
I will not let you
take their money.
204
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,278
Why not?
205
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,747
Because they'll never
let you forget
206
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,348
that they had to give you $800.
207
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,283
They'll use it to try
to humiliate you.
208
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,752
They do that now.
209
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,588
Lois, come on, I know what
your folks think of me.
210
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,090
We need the fridge.
211
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:41,328
We can't store the meat
on the porch forever.
212
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,897
I'm big enough to take one
for the team.
213
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,267
What?
214
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,870
You're better than all of us.
215
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,874
Oh...
216
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,845
TOY:
Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo!
217
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,446
(sighs)
218
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,015
We can't do this
on Dewey's bed.
219
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,186
Reese's looks okay.
220
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,724
(ice clattering)
221
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,125
Thank you.
222
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,493
Hmm.
223
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,195
Do you know this thing
makes ice cubes
224
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,797
in both circular
and crescent shapes?
225
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,465
How do they expect
people to decide?
226
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,466
Well, it's nice to have
227
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,701
something in the house
that works.
228
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,969
Yeah.
229
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,471
You know, maybe
in their dark,
twisted world,
230
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,175
this is how your
parents show love.
231
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,477
Hey, Victor,
pretty great, huh?
232
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,979
My descending
colon's inflamed.
233
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:32,880
What's great?
234
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:33,981
Uh, listen, Dad,
235
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:34,748
I just mailed off
236
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:35,982
the mortgage
and car payments,
237
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,085
and what with buying
the new refrigerator and all,
238
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,520
we should probably get
that check from you right away.
239
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,991
About that... your mother
and I decided it's no good
240
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,493
for family to give money
to family.
241
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,762
Always ends badly.
242
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:51,665
Pulp!
243
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:55,035
Who buys orange juice with pulp?
244
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,778
How can they do this?!
245
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,246
How can they just
offer us money
246
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,615
and then pretend
it never happened?
247
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,782
I am going to kill them.
248
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,851
I swear I'm going to snap
their necks like chickens!
249
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,753
That is not going
to pay off the debt, Lois.
250
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,854
Unless you're
a beneficiary
251
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,589
on some sort
of life insurance policy.
252
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,590
What am I saying?
253
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,725
Look, look,
why don't we just
254
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,526
return the refrigerator?
255
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,928
I can't.
I bought it on sale.
256
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,429
Oh, Hal, what
are we going to do?
257
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,363
Well, what choice
do we have?
258
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,364
For the next
couple of weeks,
259
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,966
until we get caught back up,
260
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,368
we're just going to have
to work a ton of overtime.
261
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,369
Oh, really?
262
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,904
And who's going to look
after the kids?
263
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,307
So, we thought
the perfect thing
might be
264
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,709
if you could stay
a little longer
265
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,211
and keep an eye
on the kids.
266
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,713
I don't know.
267
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,382
Mother and I should go.
268
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,985
We sense tension.
269
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,987
No!
270
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,121
Oh, no!
271
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,189
(both laughing)
272
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,124
Oh, no, no, no, there's
no, there's no tension.
273
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,794
We just, uh, we have
a couple of hectic
weeks coming up
274
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:57,898
and we just hoped
that you could stay
a little longer.
275
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,166
Of course.
276
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,668
We do anything for you.
277
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,069
We are a family.
278
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,671
(chuckles)
279
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,805
Oh, Dewey, hey, guess what.
280
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,973
Grandma and Grandpa
281
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,675
are going to stay
and watch you guys
282
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,777
for the next
couple of weeks.
283
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,346
(car engine starts)
284
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,352
(ringing bike bell)
285
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,624
(engine revs)
286
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,003
How you doing, Francis?
287
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,971
I need a doctor.
288
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,773
We got you something better,
man.
289
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,675
We brought you beads!
290
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,943
(all cheering and laughing)
291
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,812
You wouldn't believe it
out there, Francis.
292
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:45,979
There's free beer
293
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,181
and the women take
their tops off
294
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,282
when you give them beads.
295
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,685
Is it possible we crashed
our car on the way down here
296
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,620
and died and went to heaven?
297
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,123
I'd welcome death right now.
298
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,259
I can't believe this is you
talking, Francis.
299
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,695
You're our leader.
300
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,164
If it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't even be here.
301
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,633
You know what?
302
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,835
You're right.
303
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,402
This is Mardi Gras.
304
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,403
I can do this.
305
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:11,404
Yeah.
All right.
306
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,405
Give me those beads.
307
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,207
Yeah!
Come on!
308
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,376
(all cheering)
309
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,311
ALL (chanting):
Francis! Francis!
310
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,248
Francis! Francis! Francis!
311
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,183
(Francis vomits, woman groans)
312
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,718
(Francis groaning)
313
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:28,521
Thank God we found a hotel
with a drain in the hallway.
314
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,825
We're back.
315
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,526
Still no parents?
316
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,163
If you're going to work
all the time,
317
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,665
don't have children.
318
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,868
Hey, I wanted ice cream.
I don't blame you.
319
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,169
Why do they always do that?
320
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,571
They take you for ice cream
and stuff and never ask me.
321
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,006
I've thought about that.
322
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:50,043
And I think they see me as
the protector of the bloodline.
323
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,679
If the future's half as bad
as Grandpa and I suspect,
324
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,215
the only survivors are going
to be mutants,
325
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,851
cockroaches and me...
326
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,287
all living underwater.
327
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,957
Let's face it:
they're backing a winner.
328
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,794
Oh, man, I'm stuffed.
329
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,462
I shouldn't have
had a second one.
330
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,066
(coughing)
331
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,240
(coughing)
332
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,709
Are you okay, Grandma?
333
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,444
'Cause I could carry
your purse for you.
334
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,246
Or maybe your whiskey.
335
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:30,550
I once strangled a border guard
with my bare hands.
336
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,052
Just asking.
337
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,322
So, I studied about
your country in school.
338
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,790
Always with the books.
339
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,492
You won't be happy till
you get eye cancer.
340
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,660
No, really.
341
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,796
I found the folklore
very interesting.
342
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,065
And the history, the wars,
the revolution.
343
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,567
It must've been very hard
for you growing up.
344
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,737
It was.
345
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,472
Very hard.
346
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,143
Have a snort.
347
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,078
Maybe later.
348
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,313
(scoffs)
349
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,117
Hey, look at
the mama's boy.
350
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,053
(laughing)
351
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,589
You going to take that?
What?
352
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,124
Hey, you boys!
353
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,960
Come back here
and say that.
354
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,661
Grandma, what
are you doing?
355
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,764
Who's this?
Your 90-year-old bodyguard?
356
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,632
No, no, it's okay.
357
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,869
She's kidding.
358
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,308
Nushkaya zibhat shinka!
359
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,912
Ow!
360
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,182
Grandma.
361
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,018
Oh, geez.
362
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,155
I don't know why you won't
tell me who did this.
363
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,358
You know, there's no honor
in protecting a bully.
364
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,795
Okay, it's your face.
365
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,232
Mom, do you...?
366
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,669
Do you like your parents?
367
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,638
It doesn't matter
how I feel about them.
368
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,008
It's not like I can
trade them in for someone else.
369
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,742
You can't pick your parents.
370
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,644
You're pretty much stuck
with who you get.
371
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,179
I know.
372
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,051
Anyway, they're certainly
not going to change.
373
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,819
If things get too difficult,
374
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,422
at least I can be grateful
that soon they'll be gone.
375
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,290
Back to their own home?
376
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,692
Yeah.
377
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,362
That's what I meant.
378
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,369
Never thought
I'd beat you home.
379
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,039
They had us keep
both registers open
till midnight.
380
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,773
What kind of idiot
needs a beach ball
381
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,742
at 11:00 at night?
382
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,344
Did you make
the kids' lunches?
383
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,711
Oh, right.
No, not yet.
384
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,347
I've been kind of
tied up here.
385
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,782
You know, I discovered something
kind of interesting, yeah.
386
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,186
Now, it appears
the circular cubes cool quicker,
387
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,088
but the crescent ones
last longer.
388
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,691
Oh, for God's sake, Hal,
will you quit playing around?
389
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,961
That is a rectal thermometer.
390
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,796
I'm going to go brush my teeth.
391
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,032
You know, I ask you
to do one simple thing.
392
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,568
I can't do it all myself,
you know?
393
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,478
Hey.
394
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,879
Are you upset
about something?
395
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,082
Look, I'm tired.
I just got off a double shift.
396
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,449
I want to go to bed.
397
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,484
Sure.
398
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,252
You just seemed a little
snappish about the cubes.
399
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,155
Because I'm tired of you
not helping out around here.
400
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,623
All right, Lois.
401
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,559
I know we're both
a little raw from
the last five days,
402
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,594
but that's no reason
403
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,297
to dump your frustration
with your parents onto me.
404
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,131
On you?
Oh, yes.
405
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,799
Because that's what
this is all about.
406
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,134
You're angry at them
407
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,469
and you're displacing
your anger onto me.
408
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,138
I mean, it is classic.
409
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,240
Oh, I'm displacing, am I?
410
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,675
Kind of like how you're
focusing all your attention
411
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,577
on that monstrosity
in the kitchen?
412
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,745
See, I knew it!
413
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,180
You don't like
the refrigerator.
414
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,117
I hate that refrigerator.
415
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,252
I hate its tubular handles.
416
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,920
I hate the way
it keeps the butter.
417
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,755
I hate that, when
I'm trying to sleep,
418
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,324
I can hear it whirring.
419
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,925
Oh, no, you can't.
420
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,427
Yes, yes, I can.
421
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,794
No. Not the 5100.
422
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,930
That motor housing is
four layers thick, Lois.
423
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,998
Four layers.
424
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:10,037
And it keeps things too cold.
425
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,707
That is unfounded
criticism, Lois.
426
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,109
Unfounded and unfair.
427
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:21,114
And until you apologize,
I will be in the garage.
428
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,317
IDA:
I told you there was tension.
429
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,418
(door slams)
430
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,295
Hey, Grandma.
431
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,197
Grandpa wanted to
know if you could...
432
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:37,964
Ow!
433
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,132
What was that for?
434
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,401
See, you not even try
to defend yourself.
435
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,969
Why are you so weak?
436
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,971
I wasn't expecting
for you to hit me.
437
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,306
That's what
they're counting on
438
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,409
when they kick down your door
in the middle of the night.
Ow!
439
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,244
Grandma, stop this.
440
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,146
Come on, show me what you got.
Come on, come on.
441
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847
Grandma, I'm not
going to hit you.
442
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,816
A kid should never
have to say that.
443
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,884
So how you going
to fight these people
444
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,153
when they throw you in the truck
and take you away?
445
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,688
You going to read to them?
446
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,056
You going to impress them
to death
447
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,691
with your giant
know-it-all brain?
448
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:05,825
Huh?
449
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,828
Look, I'm smart, okay?
That's who I am.
450
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,029
And if you don't
like the fact
451
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,864
that I'm taking
high school math classes
452
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,500
and reading great books,
453
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,634
well, too bad.
454
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:17,170
Because I'm going
to be successful
and maybe even rich
455
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,205
because I am smart,
okay?
456
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,839
So just leave me alone.
457
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,009
And I'm going
to be just fine!
458
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,176
Ow.
459
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,011
Ha!
460
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,547
I warned you
about the eyes.
461
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,784
What's this about?
462
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,521
I want to show you
something.
463
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,023
Something just for you.
464
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:41,128
I have waited many years
for this moment,
465
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,363
but now that
you are old enough,
466
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,699
I want to give you
something
467
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,768
close to my heart.
468
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,069
Wow, is this stuff real?
469
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,304
From the big war.
470
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:54,574
Wow, is this a
real gas mask?
471
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,476
Gas mask, yes.
472
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,044
Field glasses...
473
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,712
chocolate K-rations.
474
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:05,051
You get yourself nice girl
with this, I tell you.
475
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,986
This is so awesome,
Grandpa.
476
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,388
You're the best.
477
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,423
This is so cool.
478
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,492
God in heaven!
479
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,560
What?!
480
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,494
This is live grenade!
481
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,796
Do not let go of handle
or we both die.
482
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,165
I don't want to die!
483
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,098
Don't worry, you won't.
484
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,101
All we have to do
is find, find the pin.
485
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,836
Find the pin,
put the pin back in,
486
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,772
and then everything
will fine.
487
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,843
Quit crying like baby.
488
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,011
What's going on?
489
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,413
Grandpa gave me
a live grenade.
490
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,515
It's really cool.
You want to hold it?
491
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,417
No, no, no.
It's for you, not him.
492
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,085
Oh, my God, we have
to call the police.
493
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,153
No, no police.
494
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,921
No police, please.
495
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,490
There's no reason to panic.
496
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,924
Yes, there is.
497
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,494
You gave Reese a live grenade,
and he's a total idiot.
498
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,428
He's right, I am.
499
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,163
I don't think I should
have it anymore. Here.
500
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,931
No, you hold on to that.
501
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,065
No, I'm tired of this game.
502
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,302
I think what I really want
to do is go lie down now.
503
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,135
No!
504
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,115
Hello.
505
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,617
(explosion)
506
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,851
What was that?
507
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,486
What was what?
508
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,294
What happened here?!
509
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,695
We can't be sure.
510
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,030
Grandpa gave me
a live grenade
511
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,198
and it was going to blow
512
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,399
and I didn't mean
to drop it.
513
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,301
But Malcolm threw it
in the fridge.
514
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,304
You gave my son
a live grenade?
515
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,973
You brought live ammunition
into this house?
516
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,344
What is the matter
with you people?!
517
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,313
Are you completely insane?!
518
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,749
You don't ever talk to us
like that, do you hear me?
519
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,852
Vuschka robotisch
ber doya kraup.
520
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,388
Mom, I-I...
521
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,991
I just... I-I just
mean that...
522
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,159
All right, all right.
523
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,994
Lois, take the boys
in the other room.
524
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,364
But, Hal...
Now.
525
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,865
Come on.
526
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,738
Why don't we sit down?
527
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,546
First off, I'm not here
to try to sort out
528
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,716
the complicated relationship
you have with the woman I love.
529
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,285
That's not my place.
530
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,220
And I know it would be folly
to try to put a price
531
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,456
on the deep
psychological trauma
532
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,592
that you've caused Lois
through the years.
533
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,061
But let me take
a stab at it anyway.
534
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,431
$3,000 sound okay to you?
What?
535
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,533
Well, that would pretty much
cover the fridge,
536
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,703
the collateral damage,
pay off a few credit cards,
537
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,105
and finally get the transmission
fixed on my car.
538
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,973
Because of
what just happened,
539
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,776
you want us
to loan you $3,000?
540
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:47,747
Please, I know you're
uncomfortable lending to family,
541
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,683
so let's be clear.
542
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,888
With one phone call, I could
have your asses thrown in jail
543
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,424
for child endangerment.
544
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:03,396
So... this money
I'm asking for, it's not a loan.
545
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,232
It's blackmail.
546
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:14,441
It's like your brother
Vasclev all over again.
547
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,610
Come on, Francis.
We got to hit the road
548
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:19,346
or we're not going
to make bed check.
549
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,613
I don't care.
550
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,649
I came all the way
to New Orleans,
551
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,250
I got all these beads...
552
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,286
I'm not leaving
until I get some action.
553
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,626
Now, if you don't mind,
I need the room.
554
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,595
Okay, I'm good.
35966
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