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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,399 # Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,559 # Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 3 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:06,999 # Woeful wars, ferocious fights, dingy castles, daring knights 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,519 # Horrors that defy description 5 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:09,799 # Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 6 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,359 # Vicious Vikings, cruel crime, punishments from ancient times 7 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,879 # Roman, rotten, rank and ruthless 8 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,399 # Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless 9 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,039 # Groovy Greeks, reigning sages, mean and measly Middle Ages 10 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,679 # Gory stories we do that 11 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,279 # And your host - a talking rat 12 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,039 # The past is no longer a mystery 13 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,200 # Welcome to... # 14 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,600 Horrible Histories presents... 15 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,119 GROANS 16 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,959 Well, here I am, stuck on Mummus' naughty step, 17 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,359 it's so unfair! 18 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,479 I'm being punished for not tidying my room... 19 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,679 ..ever! 20 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,199 LAUGHS 21 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,239 Oh, well, I don't mind, there have been lots of naughty people 22 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,959 in history so I'm in good company. 23 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,239 Or, rather, bad company. 24 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,679 And that's why today I'm giving you 25 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,959 my Top Ten Naughtiest People from history! 26 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,119 PARP! And starting at number ten, 27 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,719 we have Anne Hutchinson. 28 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,879 You'll never guess what she did that was so naughty. 29 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,119 She read the Bible! 30 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,039 Yeah, I know - it doesn't sound naughty at all, does it? 31 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,959 Well, that wasn't how they saw it in 17th century Puritan America, 32 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,800 particularly if you were a woman. 33 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,879 SIREN WAILS 34 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,439 Being in law enforcement in a new colony is tough. 35 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,959 The folks here in Massachusetts Bay are desperate, 36 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,079 it does not take much for them to turn to crime. 37 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,119 The number one threat we're dealing with today is... 38 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,959 TWANG! 39 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,559 ..women reading. 40 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,730 That, and the locals who don't want us here. 41 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,639 We've received intel that there is a gang of women readers 42 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,639 operating from inside this house. 43 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,959 It looks just like an ordinary house - it's not. 44 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,440 It's a book den. 45 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,880 Makes you sick! 46 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,679 Word is we think it's a woman called Anne Hutchinson. 47 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,999 Apparently she organised the book gang on the boat over from Europe. 48 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,999 Some of the women get in so deep 49 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,599 their lips don't even move while they're reading. 50 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,639 If that's not witchcraft, what is? 51 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,079 The Puritan General Assembly here in the Massachusetts Bay colony 52 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,799 have outlawed the book gang and that's why we're here today. 53 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,679 We're hoping that the ringleader, Hutchinson, 54 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,959 will be in there herself, teaching with her books. 55 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,319 Ha! Well, not on my watch. They're going down. 56 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,240 You go in. I'll cover you. Yeah. 57 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,999 And then in chapter five, we see that... 58 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,399 Go! Go! Go! This is book raid! Put the book down and step away! 59 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,879 But I'll lose my page. All right, put a bookmark inside the book 60 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,559 then put the book down, then step away! 61 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,199 We've got a runner! 62 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,239 Stop in the name of the Puritan law! 63 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,999 Book launch! Ahh! Ahh! I'm hit! 64 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,719 Ahh! Oh! 65 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,359 You'll be OK, buddy. Ahh! I think it was a hardback. 66 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,399 VOICEOVER: Scars are just part of the job. 67 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,439 I mean, look at this one. 68 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,919 Papercut. 69 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,039 I feel all cold. Hey, hey, hey, don't speak like that! 70 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,559 Look at me, look at me! 71 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,399 It's a reminder of what we face out there every single day. 72 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,519 Officer Scratcher here is going to read you your rights. 73 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,279 Hang on, w-why, why am I going to read them? 74 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,439 You've got the card, so. Yeah, but... 75 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,039 I can't read, can I? Well, I can't read, either. 76 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,479 What do you want me to do, just make it up? Er, excuse me? 77 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,439 Would you like me to read the card for you? 78 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,559 You know, some of the days are hard, but if we can do a little good 79 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,639 here and there like preventing women from reading 80 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,279 then it'll all have been worthwhile. 81 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,959 You - I - have the right to remain silent. 82 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:45,399 A-anything you - I - say can and will be used against you. Me. 83 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,959 Oh, we really appreciate this. Mm-hm. I mean, obviously, 84 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,839 we will have to add you reading this to the list of charges but... 85 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,359 ..Puritan law's the Puritan law. 86 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,519 SPLAT! 87 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,639 Seems like it was the Puritan officials 88 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,119 that were the naughty ones. 89 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,399 Anne and her friends weren't doing anything naughty at all. 90 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:06,919 Well, in at number nine, is someone who certainly was a bit naughty. 91 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,439 Sir Walter Raleigh got locked up in the Tower of London 92 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,999 for 13 years, for plotting against King James I of England. 93 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,879 And that wasn't the only time he was in there. 94 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,679 Elizabeth I locked him up, too! 95 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,920 Mind you, he didn't exactly waste his time in prison. 96 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,479 They've got a guilty secret. 97 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,319 It's Guilty Cordial from Sir Walter Raleigh. 98 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,719 So good, they should lock it up. 99 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,839 And they have! Cos it's made here in prison by me! 100 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:37,890 Urgh! 101 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,159 I'm Sir Walter Rah - urgh! - leigh. 102 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,999 Elizabethan spy, explorer, soldier, poet, 103 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,479 and now soft drink maker. 104 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,279 My medicinal, healthy cordials are all made here by my hand, 105 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,239 in the Tower of London. 106 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,959 Cos there's not much else to do. 107 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,279 Fancy a sip, Bird? 108 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,239 He never says anything. 109 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,279 Guilty Cordials are made with only the freshest of ingredients, 110 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,239 many of them grown here during my exercise hours 111 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,519 in the gardens of the prison. 112 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,039 Oh, look, some rosemary. 113 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,759 Through that unlocked gate. 114 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,360 Ah! I was just going to close it. 115 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,559 Guilty Cordial is made from rosemary, elderflower, 116 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,399 thistles, clay, wood... 117 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,119 That wood bark's got a bit of raven poo on it. Revolting. 118 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,679 ..antlers, and the hearts and livers of deadly vipers. 119 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,719 But not their skins. That's disgusting. 120 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:39,399 So why not try Guilty Cordial from me, Sir Walter Raleigh? 121 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,039 It's so good, they have to keep me locked up. 122 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,959 And also because I plotted to overthrow the new King James. 123 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,879 And I attacked the Spanish when I said I wouldn't. 124 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,479 And a bunch of other stuff. 125 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:53,319 What can I say? I'm as guilty as my own cordial, ooh! 126 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,839 Guilty Cordial. Hurry, while stocks last. 127 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,079 Production will definitely cease on the 29th October 1618. 128 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,519 Oh, why are they letting me out? 129 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,359 Erm, well, not exactly. 130 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,399 Ohhhh! 131 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,959 Cor! That stuff sounds delish! 132 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,639 I might just get off this stupid step and get myself a glass. 133 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,279 Stay where you are, Rattus! 134 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,319 Yes, Mummus. 135 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,319 Thought she'd gone out. 136 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,279 Still, trying to escape can be naughty, too. 137 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,439 Especially when you're escaping from prison. 138 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,279 That didn't stop Charles I, though. 139 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,519 He's in at number eight 140 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:32,919 cos he tried to escape lots, which is what I'm going to do right now. 141 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,479 Don't you dare, Rattus. 142 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,319 SIGHS Worth a try. 143 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,680 SIGHS 144 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,639 Going well, is it, sir? 145 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:48,759 Oh, sweet freedom! My liberty is nigh, I can feel it! 146 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,279 Maybe trying to escape through the bars wasn't such a great idea, sire. 147 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,879 Nonsense, why would you say a thing like that? 148 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,119 Well, it's just that you've had your head stuck for some time now. 149 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,519 That is such a glass-half-empty way of looking at things, Ashburnham. 150 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,719 Because you could say that my head is completely free from the prison. 151 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,319 Mm, yeah, but a lot of your body's still inside the prison, sire. 152 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,719 Yes. Right, new plan. 153 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,919 Like the greasy sausage, we shall slip through their hands. 154 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,479 We will head to the New Forest, 155 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,519 moving so fast they'll be unable to keep a hold of us. 156 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,439 LAUGHS Brilliant idea, Your Majesty. 157 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,639 Yes, it is. You might be forgetting one thing, though. 158 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:22,999 Your head is stuck in a window. 159 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,399 Will you stop being such a negative nelly?! 160 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,479 Everyone knows that if the head can pass through a space 161 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,959 then the rest can follow 162 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,239 because the head is the biggest part of the body. 163 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,279 So, here we go, one time, no thought, here we go! 164 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,999 Ahh! 165 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:42,119 STRAINS 166 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,719 Ta-da. Ow! 167 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,319 I think that just applies to mice, sir. Why didn't you say anything, 168 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,519 then, Ashburnham?! I did. 169 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,919 My shoulder's stuck now and I'm in a huge amount of physical pain! 170 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,479 OK, right plan C, plan C. Earlier today I took the precaution 171 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,799 of summoning a man servant whose OUTRAGEOUS CLOTHING 172 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,879 will distract from his face. 173 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,199 I'm talking a big, wide hat, 174 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,639 a fake beard and a wig and a big great coat. Hmm, yeah. 175 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,999 So all I need then do is disguise myself as him and, ah... 176 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,199 You mean this bloke? Yeah, we spotted him immediately. 177 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,279 You're not going anywhere. Now, here's my plan, you go back to bed 178 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,159 and you stay here, locked up and ready to be executed. 179 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,839 Pfft, tell them, Ashburnham. 180 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,799 It's a good plan, guard, if it weren't for one inescapable fact. 181 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:29,639 Head in window! I'm stucko, bucko! 182 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,839 LAUGHS 183 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,239 You're not very stealthy. 184 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,759 Well, if you're a Royalist Cavalier 185 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,919 you probably think Charles shouldn't have been in prison anyway, 186 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,199 so why shouldn't he try and escape? 187 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,639 But there's not much debate about number seven. 188 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:50,120 Meet Moll Cutpurse. She's a proper troublemaker. 189 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,039 Be careful, men, during these times of Civil War 190 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,679 the roads could be a haven for criminals. 191 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,639 Frankly, we got a lot of stuff that they might be interested in. 192 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,799 Ah, you mean all the gold in our chest? 193 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,799 I was trying not to draw attention to that. Whoa! 194 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,599 It's a woman! 195 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,879 In breeches! 196 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,639 Playing the lute! 197 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,679 Ahoy! The name's Moll Cutpurse. 198 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,039 Moll Cutpurse! You used to rob people all up and down the country, 199 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,680 you're well famous! 200 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,519 I am and I got the scars to prove it. 201 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,639 By which I mean they caught me and scarred me hands 202 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,599 to mark me as a thief and teach me the error of me ways. 203 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,199 Cool! It's not cool, it's punishment for breaking our rules. 204 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,999 Pray it may have worked. 205 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,999 Don't look like it... Yeah! 206 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,399 Hey! 207 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,919 Me money! Ah, me trousers! 208 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,559 LAUGHS Oh, you're brilliant! 209 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,119 And yet she's still just a petty thief, pickpocketing strangers. 210 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:50,959 How dare ya! I'm in me 60s now, pursuing me true passions. 211 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,559 Oh, what's that, then? Doing stick-ups. Hand over your loot 212 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,679 and I don't mean this kind. 213 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,359 Never! You may be able to scare the common folk 214 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,039 but I am a general of the highest authority. 215 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,479 I demand that you follow the rules of society... Oh. 216 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,839 ..and the power of the law! 217 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,079 LAUGHS 218 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,559 Should have told ya, I don't care about the rules to society. 219 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,959 She's brilliant. Are none of you going to help? 220 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,799 Come on, lads, help me out. Cutpurse away! 221 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,319 Oh, the shame. 222 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,199 My breeches are round me ankles. 223 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,199 Oh, brilliant. 224 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,799 Well, I know she was naughty but she sounds brilliant. 225 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,199 And you know who else is brilliantly naughty? In at number six, 226 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:35,199 it's young Julius Caesar, and he's with a bunch of Cilician Pirates. 227 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,199 That's right, Ceasar was so naughty 228 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,279 even when he's kidnapped by pirates 229 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,560 he ends up being the naughty one. 230 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,959 Captain! We have captured a young nobleman. He's a Roman. 231 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,159 Perfect. Tremble, Roman, 232 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,079 for you have been captured by the Cilician Pirates! 233 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,639 Yeah, can we hurry this up? 234 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,839 Eh? Look, I'm Gaius Julius Caesar, 235 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:04,599 I've got a lot on and this is really starting to drag. 236 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,999 Tremble! We did that bit! Can we just get to the ransom demand? 237 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,599 Right, if your friends want to see you alive again... 238 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,399 Yeah, blah-blah-blah. How much? 239 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,399 You serious? 240 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,439 20 talents of silver. 241 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,279 20?! Yeah. 242 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,159 How dare you! 243 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,119 Tie me up. Wrists. I'm staying right here 244 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,359 until you get a fee worthy of me. 245 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,239 I mean, honestly! Ankles. 246 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,799 I'm worth 50 talents, at least. 247 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,319 Fine then, 50 talents, please. 248 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,439 Thank you! 20! 249 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,799 Genuinely hurt by that. 250 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,839 OK, I'll get my men to arrange the payment. 251 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,119 Huh! Huh! Oi, men! 252 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,839 I've been captured by cu-culdici... Cilician. 253 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:51,159 ..Cilician pirates. I need you to go around the Aegean coastal cities 254 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,119 and raise 50 talents. And if they complain, 255 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,079 kindly remind them that if they were patrolling properly 256 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,439 then we wouldn't be having so much trouble 257 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,839 with these low lives! 258 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,399 No offence. 259 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,119 Huh! Hu-uh! 260 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,759 Down. 261 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,599 Steve, you don't have to. 262 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,919 Good boy. Huh! 263 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,599 What are you doing? Ah! So, what have you guys 264 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,479 got planned for entertainment? Entertainment? 265 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,999 Well, sometimes we play ballgames or hold athletic tournaments. 266 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,839 Would you be quiet? I don't want to play with him. 267 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,919 Sounds fun, I'm in. Oh, and also I'm going to need a few of your men 268 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,039 for an audience. Audience? Yeah, I'll be writing some poetry 269 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,319 whilst I'm here and it'd be good to get some feedback. 270 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,919 Feedback? Well, my men don't really like poetry. 271 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,439 Great! I've been kidnapped by a bunch of oiks 272 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,799 who don't appreciate the arts. 273 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,559 Urgh! Fine! I'll just get some shut-eye. Just keep it down, yeah? 274 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,039 No, I will not keep it down! I've got to keep it loud! 275 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,479 I'm a pirate! Shush! Oh, and, by the way, 276 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,959 when I get free I'm going to hunt you all down 277 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,079 and have you crucified - and not in a nice way. 278 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,919 Oh! I'd rather that than listen to his poetry. 279 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,119 Oh-ho-ho-ho! The burn. 280 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,479 I can hear you, you know. 281 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,159 Sorry. 282 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:04,999 We're into the last five and that means some properly bad behaviour. 283 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,759 At number five - the one and only Guy Fawkes. 284 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,159 Guy tried to kill King James I. 285 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,199 He was going to blow the king and his whole parliament up. 286 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:20,000 Luckily, Guy's naughty gunpowder plot went up in smoke. 287 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,960 OWL HOOTS 288 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,000 Halt! Oh! 289 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,439 Sorry to interrupt, mate. 290 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,239 But apparently some joker's trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament. 291 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,439 Oh. 292 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,279 You haven't seen him around, have you? 293 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,880 No. 294 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,880 OK, fair enough. We'll leave you to it. Have a good night and... 295 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,479 Hang on a second. That's a lot of firewood 296 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,599 to be stacking right underneath the Houses of Parliament. 297 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,639 Is it? I wouldn't really know, I'm just a lowly servant man 298 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,039 looking after a cellar full of wood 299 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,120 for my boss, Thomas Percy. 300 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,519 Fair enough. Well, boys, it looks like nothing dodgy is going on here. 301 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,639 Let us know if you see anything strange. Will do! 302 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,560 Let's go find the guy. Yes? 303 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,799 What? You said Guy. 304 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,080 Is your name Guy? 305 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,759 No. 306 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,639 What's your name? 307 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,759 John. John what? 308 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,639 John... 309 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,559 ..son. John, Johnson, my name's John Johnson. 310 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,359 John Johnson? 311 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,480 Yeah. 312 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,279 Lovely to meet you, John Johnson! Good to meet you, too! 313 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,719 Better let you get on with it. 314 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,920 Let us know if you see anyone up to no good. Johnson's your man. 315 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,679 A close one. 316 00:14:55,680 --> 00:15:00,039 Proof if ever that God is on our side. 317 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,759 Nothing can stop us now. 318 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,039 LOUD CLATTERING 319 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,879 Just one more thing. 320 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,960 Wait a second, what's all this?! 321 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,159 John Johnson, you are nicked! 322 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,759 Drop that barrel of gunpowder! 323 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,439 I don't think that will be a very good idea. 324 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,920 You're probably right! 325 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,839 Well, Guy Fawkes was definitely naughty. 326 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,719 But guess what? He wasn't the ringleader of the Gunpowder Plot, 327 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,079 and while he got caught in the act, 328 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,359 the brains behind it, Robert Catesby, 329 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:40,039 and lots of other plotters, very nearly got away with it. 330 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,279 And that's why Guy's at five and the rest of the plotters 331 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,040 are right here on the naughty list at number four. 332 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,239 With Guy Fawkes now captured, 333 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,999 lead investigator Sheriff Richard Walsh and his men 334 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,079 are hot on the trail of Catesby and his fugitive crew, 335 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,039 including Thomas Wintour and Everard Digby. 336 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,959 OK, a quick recap, guys. 337 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,839 Fawkes is out of the picture and Parliament is safe. 338 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,439 But Robert Catesby and the rest of the conspirators 339 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,720 still want to start a rebellion. So let's hunt them down. 340 00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:20,559 It's pretty obvious they'll head for the Midlands and the weather's bad, 341 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,439 so we should look out for some soaking wet, stressed-out Catholics. 342 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:28,159 I'm stressed! I'm super stressed! Everything's ruined! 343 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,519 Come on, Wintour, Digby - everything will be fine. 344 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,519 Will it, Catesby, will it?! 345 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,199 Cos our plan's just gone up in smoke, or rather it didn't. 346 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,319 That was the old plan. Old plan? 347 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,239 Yeah, the new plan 348 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,519 is that we lie low here, at Holbeche House in Staffordshire, 349 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,199 drum up support, start a revolt. 350 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,799 They'll never see us coming. 351 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,239 They'll be lying low, drumming up support 352 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,119 and trying to start a revolt. That's standard. 353 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,039 NARRATOR: Catesby's crew are drying out inside Holbeche House. 354 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,119 It's going great, guys. We've got hundreds of willing men. 355 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,639 All the willing men have left. 356 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,519 WAILS 357 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,679 Never mind. We're a small group of willing men 358 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,839 who can move fast and achieve a lot. 359 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,279 I'll tell you what, getting hold of those horses, 360 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,319 now that was a stroke of luck. 361 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,399 We've got word of some stolen horses in Warwick 362 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,559 so let's go and check it out. 363 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,559 There's going to be fireworks. 364 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,199 FIREWORK POPS 365 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,799 There. 366 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,439 Now that is how you dry gunpowder. 367 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,759 Look, I know I'm not the explosives expert 368 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,679 but I'm sure there was something to remember about gunpowder and fire. 369 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,199 How else are you meant to dry it? I don't know! 370 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,959 Well, it doesn't work if it's wet, so we didn't have much of a choice. 371 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,719 But don't worry, it's perfectly safe! 372 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,039 EXPLOSION 373 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,759 Oh, my eyes, I can't see! 374 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,120 I'm off! I'm coming with you. 375 00:17:49,121 --> 00:17:53,519 Come on, man! Surely you can see that my plan will still work! 376 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,040 I can't see anything any more! Calm down, they'll never find us! 377 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,759 We've found them. 378 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,239 Do you think we should just... give up? 379 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,279 Never. It's fine. Don't worry about it. 380 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,919 It's all... GUNSHOT 381 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,440 ..good. 382 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,320 Well, if you say-so, Catesby. 383 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,519 Catesby? Bad luck, guys, you've been hunted down and, 384 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:19,879 in some cases, shot. 385 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,360 What happened? Did we win? 386 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,280 I'll take that as a no! 387 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,519 We're down to my top three now, 388 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,559 so it's time for some serious antisocial behaviour. 389 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,039 And it doesn't come much more antisocial 390 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,439 than chopping people's heads off. 391 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,559 At number three, it's your favourite king and mine, 392 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,639 and certainly his favourite, Henry VIII. 393 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,079 Henry was naughty in lots of ways 394 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,359 but one of the naughtiest things about him 395 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:52,719 was the way he dealt with other naughty people. 396 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,999 Hiya! I'm Henry VIII. Monarch. Serial husband. 397 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,119 And massive fan of chopping people's heads off. 398 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,399 Sweet! 399 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,319 And what better place to make heads roll 400 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,399 than here in the Tower of London? 401 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,079 So in this vid I'm going to give you my five faves. 402 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,599 Welcome to Top Of The Chops. 403 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,279 Ooh! 404 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,519 Lovely stuff, John, off in one. 405 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,319 Thank you, Your Majesty. 406 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,640 Top bloke. 407 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,319 Right, number five, it's my fifth wife Catherine Howard. 408 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,039 Her head had to roll 409 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,919 because I found out that she'd had loads of boyfriends 410 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,639 before I married her, which I did not like. 411 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:34,559 Ladies, top tip, don't marry a jealous king with his own axe man. 412 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,399 Bit of beef, Beefy? I'm vegetarian. 413 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,680 What...? 414 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,719 Anne. My second wife. My first love. 415 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,679 And number four in my Top Chops. 416 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,199 I did my job redecorating the tower for her. 417 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,639 She didn't do her job in giving me a son, 418 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,839 so it was choppity-chop-chop. 419 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,079 It was quite sad, though. 420 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,039 She said some lovely things about me on the scaffold, 421 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,479 even asked the crowd to pray for me. Really quite moving. 422 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,320 Still killed her, though. 423 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,359 Argh! Wow, a bull's-eye! 424 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,399 Thomas Cromwell came a cropper when he met the chopper. 425 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,639 He had to go because he organised my fourth marriage 426 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,080 to Anne of Cleves, and she was not nearly as pretty as he said she was. 427 00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,919 He's also did a bunch of treason stuff. 428 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,799 I stuck his head on a spike on London Bridge. 429 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,040 Well, I had to put it somewhere. 430 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,959 Margaret Pole, she was a stubborn one. 431 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,239 She made a huge fuss because she didn't want me to divorce 432 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,759 my ex, Catherine of Aragon. 433 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,599 She even encouraged an invasion of England. 434 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,679 And her head was just as stubborn. 435 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,679 It took 11 chops to get it off. 436 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,719 Gnarly, dude! 437 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,479 And at number one...! 438 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,999 I tell you what's not all fun and games, 439 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,199 beheading someone who you really like. 440 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,239 Thomas More was a dear friend of mine 441 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,039 but, guys, you don't disagree with the king on religion! 442 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,159 If people lose their heads, people gon' lose their heads. 443 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,919 It was quite sad, though, the executioner even apologised to him. 444 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,839 More kissed him and said, "It's fine." 445 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,999 So maybe he was cool with it. Anyway, top bloke, 446 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,319 shame about the... 447 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,719 So, there you have it. 448 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,279 My five Top Of The Chops. 449 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,799 Don't forget to like, follow and 450 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,319 subscribe to my religious reforms. Or else! 451 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,079 And watch out for next week's video, 452 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:18,879 Top Of The Pork Chops, where I count down my fave five royal feasts. 453 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,079 Num-num-num-num-num! 454 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,359 Great swing, John, a thing of beauty. 455 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,119 Do you want to join me for a round of tennis? 456 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,319 Say yes or I'll make you chop your own head off. Yeah. 457 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,119 Thought so. Maybe lose the mask. 458 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,639 Ahh! 459 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,919 Freaking me out. 460 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,319 Well, we're nearly at the top of our top ten, 461 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,959 but number two might be a surprise to some of you. 462 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,479 It's Christopher Columbus! 463 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:46,199 Columbus was a brave explorer who discovered the Americas. 464 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,999 But the way he treated his crew 465 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,839 and the unfortunate locals he found living there 466 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,080 was very naughty indeed. 467 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,039 It's nearly bedtime here at YeBeebies, 468 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,679 so for all of you little mariners sailing off to Sleep Island, 469 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,559 we've got a special guest today 470 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:08,719 to tell us a bedtime story about their real-life adventures. 471 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,079 Hello, boys and girls, I am Christopher Columbus 472 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,279 and in 1492 I sailed the ocean blue 473 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:21,679 searching for a new trade route between Europe and China. 474 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:26,159 But what I actually discovered was an entire new continent - 475 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,879 the Americas. 476 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,439 What an adventure! 477 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,679 It was full of exciting, vibrant people 478 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,879 that I could kidnap and force to work for me. 479 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,239 Sorry, what? 480 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:41,479 And there was nothing they could do because we were so heavily armed. 481 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,999 OK, how about we just stick to the adventure bits? 482 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:49,119 OK. There were lots of swashbuckling battles as we fought for our lives. 483 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,679 There we go! Exciting! Charge! 484 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,599 The battles ended when I cut the heads off three local people. 485 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,999 Here, let me show you how I did it. 486 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,439 OK, seriously, 487 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,279 I think we should stop talking about the nasty stuff that you did 488 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,119 to those poor people who were already living there, 489 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,279 and focus on the exploring. 490 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,999 That's fine. After we finished 491 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,799 there weren't many of them left anyway. Now, did you know 492 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,479 the Americas are filled with gold? 493 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,799 Treasure! That's more like it. 494 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,239 Did you have a treasure map? 495 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,759 I didn't need one, I just said I'd kill any local person 496 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,319 over the age of 14 who didn't bring me gold. 497 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,999 Much easier. OK. I think we've had enough 498 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,239 of your adventures for one day. 499 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,879 Possibly forever. 500 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,959 You know, I think the message of my story is, 501 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,639 when you are faced with an impossible task, 502 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,279 what you really need to do is believe in yourself. 503 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,919 Wow! That is a great message for our children. 504 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,839 For example, I believed it was right 505 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,239 to have members of my own crew whipped 506 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,999 for buying food without my permission. 507 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,720 OK, OK, get out! Get out. 508 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,479 We're going to get complaints about this. 509 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:03,039 Hello, Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus here. 510 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,919 Or Emperor Nero, for short. 511 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,959 I was Roman Emperor number five 512 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,679 but I was number one when it came to playing the bagpipes. 513 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,999 I loved playing the bagpipes. 514 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,079 I didn't love my mum quite as much. 515 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,439 In fact, I actually tried to have her killed. Naughty. 516 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,599 But tell me, how did I do that? 517 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:21,880 Did I...? 518 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:32,599 The answer is A 519 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,879 and also B 520 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,999 and also C. 521 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,799 Some people send their mum lovely flowers, 522 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,399 some send her chocolates. 523 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,919 I sent her assassins. I wasn't a great son. 524 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,279 But I'll tell you what I was great at - playing the bagpipes. 525 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,039 And so, to lighten the mood, 526 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,439 I'll play you out with this little number I prepared. 527 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,679 A one, two, a one, two, three and... 528 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,999 Well, it's the end of the show, 529 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,719 and Mummus has said I can stop sitting on the naughty step, 530 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,719 so let's celebrate by revealing the number one 531 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:07,599 in my Top Ten Naughtiest People. Drum roll, please! 532 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,799 Rattus! You are making too much noise again! 533 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,479 Go and sit on the naughty step! 534 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,639 Oh! Unbelievable! 535 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,079 Well, at number one is not just one 536 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,039 but three of history's naughtiest dads. 537 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,999 It's our old friend Henry making his second appearance on the list - 538 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,639 he's that naughty - 539 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,679 along with William the Conqueror 540 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,039 and Pharaoh Ramesses II. 541 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:34,599 They're all together and ready to rock at number one. 542 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,279 One, two, three, four! 543 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,599 # We want a crown that says World's Greatest Dad 544 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,919 # Quite rightly, it's something we've never had 545 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,359 # If you ask our children, they'll certainly agree 546 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,070 # There's some great dads out there, just not us three 547 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,479 ALL: # Dad, dad da-da-dad 548 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,919 # Da-da-da-dad 549 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,199 # Da-da-da-da-dad 550 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,599 # Da-da-da-dad 551 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,919 # I was a father 552 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,480 # Who wanted a son 553 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,959 # When I had two daughters 554 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,360 # I despatched their mums 555 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,999 # Then got a boy 556 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,439 # With wife number three 557 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,399 # Edward's my man 558 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,080 # Forget Liz and Mary 559 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,639 ALL: # Cos Being a dad ain't easy 560 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,719 # Feels like you can't do enough 561 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,919 # I distanced my daughters and sent them away 562 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,559 # Maybe I was a little bit tough 563 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,039 ALL: # Dad, dad da-da-dad 564 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,239 # Da-da-da-dad 565 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,919 # Robert, my eldest 566 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,239 # I used to call names 567 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,119 # Fat legs and short pants 568 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:40,199 # Such fun and games 569 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,759 # Then we fell out Da-da-da-da-dad 570 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,919 # Had a big barny Da-da da-dad 571 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,399 # I thought we were close Da-da-da-da-dad 572 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,719 # But he deserted my army Da-da-da-dad 573 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,279 # No, being a dad ain't easy 574 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,799 # Sometimes you just can't agree 575 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,919 # You end up at war on opposite sides 576 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,239 # Or maybe that was just me 577 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,799 # Da-da-da-da-dad 578 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,999 # Da-da-da-dad 579 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,559 # I'm just a typical 580 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,759 # Family guy 581 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,279 # Around 100 children 582 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,759 # By eight different wives 583 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,119 # It's hard being a dad Da-da-da-da-dad 584 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,599 # With eight wives in the mix Da-da-da-dad 585 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,999 # I thought I did well Da-da-da-da-dad 586 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,439 # And I only had six Da-da-da-dad 587 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,919 # No, being a dad ain't easy 588 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,319 # There's no tougher job on the Earth 589 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,519 # It's really much harder than being a mum 590 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,800 # If you don't count giving birth 591 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,399 # I really love Edward 592 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,879 # But I suppose I ought to have paid more attention to my eldest daughter 593 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,519 # Me and Robert at war, such a great shame 594 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,119 # I had enough trouble just remembering their names 595 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,319 # Being a dad ain't easy 596 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,119 # I wish we could turn back the clock 597 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,879 # We may not be the greatest examples 598 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,319 # Cos you generally find that dads rock 599 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,679 # Da-da-da-da-dad Dad's rock 600 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,319 # Da-da-da-dad Dad's rock 601 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,959 # Da-da-da-da-dad Dads rock! 602 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,519 # Da-da-da-dad, dads rock! # 603 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:06,599 Rock! 604 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,760 # Horrible Histories! # 605 00:28:10,810 --> 00:28:15,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 47205

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