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I'm going down south, I'm gonna have
myself a time.
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Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks
without temptation.
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00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,320
Going down south, I'm gonna leave my
woes to hide.
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00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,880
And we're parking day or night, people
spouting hot endeavors.
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00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:24,960
And on up south, I'm gonna see if I
can't unwind.
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00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:31,460
Come on down south, I can meet some
friends of mine.
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00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:39,650
The past few months have just been
really awful.
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There were these ice raids and my dad's
company went out of business.
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Then we lost our house and had to move
into the old folks' home with my
10
00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:53,910
It's like everything keeps changing and
I really don't know how to cope with it.
11
00:00:57,330 --> 00:01:00,610
Uh -huh. And how exactly do you feel
like shit has changed, bro?
12
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:06,390
Well, Jesus, it just seems like...
13
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:09,610
People aren't really as kind and giving
as they used to be, you know?
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00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:13,010
Like, I just got some money from Saudi
Arabia, and I'm thinking of sharing it,
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because I feel like that's what everyone
needs right now. Like, a big Christmas
16
00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:18,970
miracle?
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00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,130
Sounds like some socialist bullshit to
me, bro.
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I don't want to live in an old folks'
home anymore, okay?
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00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:31,270
Now, I don't know what's made you change
like this, but we need some goddamn
20
00:01:31,270 --> 00:01:32,270
Christmas magic!
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00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:35,790
Hey, baby, I brought you some pinot
grigio.
22
00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:37,690
What took you so long?
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00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:41,190
Don't be mad. I was out doing my charity
work.
24
00:01:41,730 --> 00:01:43,990
I'm a Christian, so I sing to people in
need.
25
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,210
Just shut up and pour me that shit.
26
00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,530
You want to make your life better, Stan?
27
00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:50,070
Join the frickin' club.
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00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:54,770
This is the time of year we all wish
things were better. But trust me,
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miraculous is going to happen to anyone.
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00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:09,820
The crib is decorated and the nursery's
all planned. I put Holly on the diapers
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00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:11,660
with all the love I can.
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00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:17,820
Tiny dreams and tinsel glow, what's more
special than a new baby at Christmas
33
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:18,820
time?
34
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:24,900
Only days remain until America meets
President Trump's demon spawn.
35
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,940
How Satan will give birth to the butt
baby is still unclear, but everyone
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00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:31,500
the crap out is coming.
37
00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:37,460
On the whites and mistletoe, there's so
much to be done. We'll drink eggnog and
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00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:39,620
cocoa when the labor has begun.
39
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,600
So many reasons to be glad, and I'll be
having one.
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00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,620
A new baby at Christmas time.
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00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,420
I will love the baby, and so will its
dad.
42
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,760
We will be so... Wait a minute.
43
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,600
Where the hell is he?
44
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Donald? Donald!
45
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,350
Where is Donald?
46
00:03:03,090 --> 00:03:06,830
Sorry, Satan, the president had to fly
to Colorado on an urgent matter.
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00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:08,490
An urgent matter?
48
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:13,790
Are you serious right now? I told him
this was the day we were going to sing
49
00:03:13,790 --> 00:03:15,230
songs and decorate the nursery!
50
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,930
What is he doing that's more urgent than
that?
51
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:21,710
Sorry, it's all high -level classified
stuff. Even we don't have the clearance
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00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:22,710
to know what he's doing.
53
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:25,590
He is such a piece of shit!
54
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:29,290
He does this to me all the time!
55
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,580
I'm about to have this baby, and he's
out fucking around!
56
00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:38,519
Hormones, huh?
57
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,420
It is strange that the president hasn't
even informed me why he's going to
58
00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:46,420
Colorado. Well, the president said it's
top secret, and only he and the vice
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00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:47,420
president can know.
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00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:52,500
Whatever they're doing, it must be part
of an extremely covert military
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00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,500
operation.
62
00:04:07,950 --> 00:04:08,950
Okay, boss.
63
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:09,970
This is the place.
64
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,750
That is the police station over there.
65
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:15,150
That's where they're keeping Peter Teal.
66
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,290
All right, we just got to keep it quiet.
67
00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:19,850
Nobody can know I want to kill this
baby, you know?
68
00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:21,790
Merry Christmas!
69
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:23,470
Hey, relax!
70
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,850
Are you sure this Peter Teal can do it?
Yes, boss.
71
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,570
But we must find a way to break him out
of that police station.
72
00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:40,950
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have any spare
change, okay?
73
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:44,630
The government cut school funding, so I
lost my job.
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00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:48,990
And then, you know, everything costs
more with all the tariffs, and my health
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00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:52,610
care got cut, so I'm just struggling
like a lot of Americans are.
76
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,290
All right, well, Merry Christmas!
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00:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,790
We better hurry, both.
78
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:06,430
The time might be unto us, and the crop
-out could be any minute now.
79
00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:11,280
Okay, let's synchronize our watches.
It's time to complete Operation Tell My
80
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,280
Baby.
81
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:19,740
I'll be home for Christmas if only
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00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:24,560
in my dreams, my dreams, my holiday
dreams.
83
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:29,500
Hello, seniors. I'm Peggy Rockbottom
here to spread a little holiday cheer.
84
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,740
You know, sometimes we forget the reason
for decision, but there's only one man
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00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:38,920
in my life, and that man is Jesus
Christ. And I wrote this song for him.
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00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,880
A Christian woman knows her place.
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00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:51,050
So go ahead and punch me in the face,
cause I deserve it. I was wrong. That's
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00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:56,730
why I wrote this holiday song with my
big fake tits and my Botox lips saying
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00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:59,550
Merry Christmas, Jesus Christ.
90
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,030
Come on, seniors, sing along.
91
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,710
A Christian woman knows her place.
92
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:10,730
So go ahead and punch me in the face,
cause I deserve it.
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00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,140
I don't know if you can hear me, but
I've been kind of wishing for a
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00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,140
miracle.
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00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:47,880
If miracles can still even happen,
please, make it happen now.
96
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,290
Did you miss us, Stan?
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00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:14,730
Oh, no!
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00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,150
That son of a bitch.
99
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,930
I could give birth any minute.
100
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:30,930
Oh, hey, Satan, you about to go into
labor? Okay, how about you go do
101
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:31,990
and I'll do nothing?
102
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,130
Oh, yeah, great idea, Donald, just like
you always do.
103
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,750
Oh, God, he is so disgusting.
104
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:42,840
Ah! I'm such a pig.
105
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,020
A blue jockstrap?
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00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,300
He doesn't wear a blue jockstrap.
107
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,480
Who does this belong to?
108
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,800
The Gramps.
109
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,900
It's the Gramps.
110
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,180
They're together.
111
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:10,120
What are you talking about?
112
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,900
They just want to kill the baby.
113
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:16,800
What?
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00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:22,620
There's so much sex.
115
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:26,060
I can't understand you because you're
covered in dried up milk.
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00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,640
It's not milk.
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00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,360
Ew!
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00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,059
Oh, thank God.
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00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,820
Tell me everything you know.
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00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:54,000
I will, but first, please, I need to get
just a little high.
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00:08:58,380 --> 00:08:59,580
Go away.
122
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,120
What do you guys want?
123
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:04,900
Well, didn't you hear, Stan?
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00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,400
Satan's going to give birth to the
Antichrist.
125
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:12,000
Yeah, he's going to have a foot, baby,
and there's going to be a big crap out.
126
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,269
It doesn't make any sense.
127
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,570
You guys are just something that Cartman
made up in his head.
128
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,930
Oh, are you really going to overanalyze
a crap -out?
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00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,990
No way. Crap -outs have no rules.
130
00:09:28,510 --> 00:09:29,510
Yay!
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00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:31,090
All right, y 'all.
132
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,690
Stan wished us here to help the Prince
of Darkness, so we got to do what he
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00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:39,170
says. I didn't wish for that. I didn't
know anything about Satan having a baby
134
00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:43,790
or crap -outs. But you asked for a
Christmas miracle, Stan. And this crap
135
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:45,010
going to make everything better.
136
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,890
It is?
137
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,120
Are you sure?
138
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,820
Of course!
139
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,920
Crab outs are the best!
140
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:52,960
Come on, let's get to it!
141
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,280
Yay!
142
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,020
Oh,
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00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:00,780
it's been so long.
144
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:06,820
So then, Vice President Vance, he
doesn't want you to have the baby,
145
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:10,940
Because he thinks your baby is going to
hurt his chances of becoming president.
146
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:17,000
So he convinces Trump to try to get rid
of the baby himself, but every time he
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00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,640
tries, he gets blocked by the FCC.
148
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:23,260
If he didn't want the baby, why didn't
he tell me?
149
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,260
They couldn't let anyone know they
wanted to get rid of the baby because,
150
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,500
know, Republicans, abortions, it's a bad
look.
151
00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:35,330
So then Vance gets this guy Peter Thiel
to get rid of the baby, and Thiel's
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00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:38,950
about to come do it when Pam Bondi
suddenly finds out there's a plot to
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00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:41,930
baby. It's all crazy, man. You can't
write this shit.
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00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:47,990
What can I ever see in him? So then the
president, he's pissed off at Vance. He
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00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:51,530
says, you've been lying to me, but Vance
says I was just trying to protect you,
156
00:10:51,570 --> 00:10:55,150
and then they start having sex over and
over and over and over. Enough!
157
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:59,790
The president hath deceived me.
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00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:05,880
He hath deceived us all, and I shall
make him pay.
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00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,620
Oh, hell yeah, man. Let's go get that
motherfucker.
160
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,060
We brought some food for your prisoners.
161
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:41,920
Food for the prisoners?
162
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:46,840
Hey, relax, guy. This is the time of
year to give to the needy. We brought
163
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,499
this cake.
164
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,500
We don't need your cake.
165
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,320
The president's going to come for us and
he's going to... Well,
166
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,360
I guess there's no harm. Mitch, let him
in.
167
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,280
Hey, thanks, baby.
168
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:02,600
We're in for a crap out, crap out, crap
out. We smell a crap out.
169
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:08,970
Don't take the hard route. Just get to
the crap out. Satan's gonna crap out his
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00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:09,970
anal womb.
171
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:14,150
Okay, hold on a second. You said that
Satan was in Washington, D .C.
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00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,570
Yeah, he was. And now he's about to be
here.
173
00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:18,110
But how can you know that?
174
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:21,050
Oh, for Pete's sake, Stanny. Will you
just get on board with the crap out
175
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:22,510
already? Don't worry, Stanny.
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00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:26,170
Everything has been foretold and nothing
can stop the Antichrist from coming.
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00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:27,750
Except, of course, for Peter Thiel.
178
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:30,350
Peter Thiel?
179
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,260
Wait, you mean the 6 '7 guy?
180
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,360
You know Peter Thiel?
181
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,500
Yeah, he did a big dumb assembly at the
school.
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00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,060
He's here?
183
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:41,240
What are you going to do, Stanny? Are
you going to kill him and eat him?
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00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:42,759
All right, look.
185
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,500
If I'm going to get on board with
something, I need it to make at least a
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00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:46,500
bit of sense.
187
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:50,940
Well, okay, Susan Sontag. We'll make
sure it all lines up perfectly for you.
188
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,320
Yay!
189
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,360
Peter Thiel to Red Dragon.
190
00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,900
Come in, Red Dragon.
191
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,720
Go ahead, Don. This is Red Dragon.
192
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,660
I got the walkie and the cake.
193
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,400
Awaiting further instructions.
194
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:11,080
Excellent. Just stand by and we'll find
a way to get you out so you can kill my
195
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,920
baby. Let's synchronize our watches.
196
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:14,660
Donald!
197
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,380
Uh -oh.
198
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,460
You have lied to me!
199
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:24,540
Satan! We were just doing some charity
work.
200
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:31,580
You! think so. I told Satan every detail
of your expertly crafted plot.
201
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,160
Oh, it's your comrade.
202
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:40,580
I stayed with you while you two were
fucking behind my back. Did Donald tell
203
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:41,940
he has genital warts?
204
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,400
Relax there, guy.
205
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,380
Look, there he is. It's Satan.
206
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:50,880
Yay!
207
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:54,740
Just as the prophecy foretold.
208
00:13:55,130 --> 00:14:00,830
Tally, what's going on? What's going on
is the most exquisitely woven tapestry
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00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:06,750
of ideas that you've ever seen, man.
Your deception is over, Donald.
210
00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,450
And so are we.
211
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:15,310
This child will be born. And for once,
you are going to have to live with the
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00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:17,670
consequences of your actions.
213
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,820
Keep your hands off my president, bro.
214
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,320
Whoa, it's Jesus Christ.
215
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:46,100
This happens to be a great man who's
protecting our country from fads.
216
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,560
What the hell happened to Jesus?
217
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:49,980
He's all Christian now.
218
00:14:50,980 --> 00:14:55,580
This man is a con artist, and I will
deal with him.
219
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,800
Don't think so, bro.
220
00:14:58,860 --> 00:14:59,860
Yeah!
221
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,510
Oh, God, this just keeps getting
crazier.
222
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,530
What's wrong, Satan?
223
00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:20,650
It's the baby.
224
00:15:21,010 --> 00:15:22,330
I think it's coming.
225
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,510
Oh, wow, y 'all, it's time.
226
00:15:24,810 --> 00:15:25,990
What do we do, Stan?
227
00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:28,630
I don't know. You've got to get him to a
hospital.
228
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,950
Oh, boy, the big crap out.
229
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,000
Look, it's the doctor.
230
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,240
Yay!
231
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,480
All right, we're almost ready. We just
want to run a quick ultrasound and we'll
232
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,480
get you into the OR.
233
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,980
Doctor, we must hurry.
234
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,460
There are evil forces at work.
235
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,040
All right!
236
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,260
This guy's incredible!
237
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:06,680
Okay, now set Peter Teal free.
238
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,840
Mr. President, what happened?
239
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,920
I don't know. I got another Christian
dipshit to help me get what I want.
240
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,240
Let's go Christianity.
241
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:21,560
Then we can proceed.
242
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,980
We have very little time to stop the
Antichrist from coming.
243
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:30,480
Beth, just so you know, I don't care if
my asshole is filled with genital rot. I
244
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,480
still love you.
245
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:40,040
I can't believe he turned out to be this
big of a piece of shit.
246
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,240
I seriously fall for the worst guys.
247
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:46,600
No, no, Satan. You need to save your
strength.
248
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,580
I mean, I knew he sucked, okay?
249
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:54,240
I knew it. But I didn't think he would
go this far. I am so stupid.
250
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:55,960
No, you're not stupid.
251
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,200
Danny, tell Satan he's not stupid.
252
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,500
You're not stupid.
253
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,120
No, I'm stupid.
254
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,500
I saw how he treated everyone, but I was
willing to look the other way.
255
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:08,880
All because I just wanted my...
256
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,130
Christmas miracle.
257
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:12,390
Your Christmas miracle?
258
00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:14,510
My little baby.
259
00:17:14,890 --> 00:17:18,250
The only thing in my life that could
actually be good.
260
00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:25,290
But now Donald has Jesus on his side and
we'll never be free.
261
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:28,690
Satan's right.
262
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:31,910
If the president has Jesus on his side,
he's unstoppable.
263
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:36,490
It's only a matter of time before they
come here and ruin everything.
264
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:41,720
Now, don't be down, y 'all. We have our
own secret weapon.
265
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,100
That's right.
266
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:46,540
They might have Jesus, but we've got
Stan.
267
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:48,360
Yay!
268
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:57,099
Crap out!
269
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,100
Yeah, let's go!
270
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,540
Oh, no. Here they come.
271
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,220
What are we going to do?
272
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,260
Where is room six -seven?
273
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,080
Thank you.
274
00:18:48,030 --> 00:18:51,130
No. If you want to get to Satan, you'll
have to go through us.
275
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:53,850
I am fully embracing this crap out.
276
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:58,570
Yay! Do not listen to these foul
creatures of darkness, child.
277
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:00,870
I don't know who to listen to anymore.
278
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:04,370
All I know is I might as well help
someone get their Christmas miracle.
279
00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,390
Because nobody's helping me with mine.
280
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:09,290
At least that's what Christmas used to
mean.
281
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:12,450
Trying to make things a little easier
for someone else who needed it.
282
00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,150
I don't know what happened to your
spirit at Christmas, Jesus.
283
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:16,690
Let's face it.
284
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,100
You gave up, and now you've hit rock
bottom.
285
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,220
Hey, I didn't hit her, okay?
286
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:28,300
I mean, all right, maybe I did. But
Peggy was asking for it.
287
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,600
That's actually not at all what I was
talking about.
288
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,040
No, you're right.
289
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,280
You're right, my child.
290
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:37,960
I gave up, and I lost faith.
291
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:39,860
I don't want to do this.
292
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,840
Hey, don't forget I can sue you!
293
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,180
Then go ahead and sue me.
294
00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:50,220
I'm not going to be afraid anymore.
295
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,580
Excuse me, everyone.
296
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:57,640
Sorry to interrupt, but I'm afraid we
have some really bad news.
297
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:00,780
What?
298
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000
What happened?
299
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:07,300
We've looked at the ultrasound, and it
appears that at some point when nobody
300
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,160
was watching, the baby hung itself and
took its own life.
301
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,480
What? What are you talking about?
302
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,700
I'm afraid you can see it all in the
video.
303
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:20,460
The baby got a hold of some bed sheets.
There's a couple minutes missing from
304
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,940
the ultrasound, but it's definitely a
suicide.
305
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,500
You gotta be kidding me!
306
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,180
That baby hung itself?
307
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,880
Boss! Boss, it's a miracle!
308
00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:33,340
But does that mean there's not gonna be
a cramp out?
309
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,760
This is a Fox News special alert.
310
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:43,000
Fox News has just received confirmation
that the unborn child of Satan and
311
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000
President Trump...
312
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,660
has decided to take the easy way out and
end its own life.
313
00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:52,220
Definitely an unfortunate turn of
events. Fox News has analyzed the
314
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:56,880
You can see the baby probably
considering suicide right here, and then
315
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,340
bit missing, and it killed itself.
316
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:02,100
Obvious confirmation of suicide. You can
see a little chair there.
317
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,220
Just what babies do sometimes.
318
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,700
That's right. And if you or someone you
know is a fetus contemplating suicide,
319
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,600
we urge you to call Fox News as much as
you possibly can.
320
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,520
In the meantime, all our thoughts and
prayers are with the president tonight,
321
00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:21,420
who will be holding a funeral for his
unborn child at the White House.
322
00:21:35,850 --> 00:21:36,850
Did you hear the news?
323
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:37,910
The baby's dead.
324
00:21:38,290 --> 00:21:39,289
Yes, Mr.
325
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:40,630
President. We are so sorry.
326
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,150
Happy holidays. The baby's dead.
327
00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:45,030
Are you okay, sir?
328
00:21:45,410 --> 00:21:46,430
Yes, really hard.
329
00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:47,650
Here, have a cigar.
330
00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:52,190
Hey, Pam. Merry Christmas. The baby's
dead.
331
00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:54,330
You're so strong, Mr. President.
332
00:21:54,570 --> 00:21:56,550
And you're taking it really well.
333
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,350
Thanks, Pam.
334
00:23:09,870 --> 00:23:13,990
Christmas letters from home. Here you
go. Some Christmas joy from your loved
335
00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:15,090
ones. There you go.
336
00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,650
Hey, there's one for you today.
337
00:23:27,330 --> 00:23:34,190
Dear Stan, I'm writing this because I
owe you an apology and a thank you.
338
00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:37,050
You asked for a Christmas miracle.
339
00:23:38,030 --> 00:23:39,230
And I didn't listen.
340
00:23:39,950 --> 00:23:42,070
So now, go to this address.
341
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:43,630
No way.
342
00:24:16,650 --> 00:24:17,589
Thank you.
343
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:18,590
Thank you!
344
00:24:20,690 --> 00:24:23,750
I'll be here, Stan, watching over
everybody.
345
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:25,590
Be good.
346
00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:29,590
And remember, never give up on the
things that you commit to.
347
00:24:30,110 --> 00:24:31,790
He's so great, isn't he?
348
00:24:31,990 --> 00:24:33,610
Merry Christmas, everyone!
349
00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:36,310
Let's all have the happiest holidays!
350
00:24:36,790 --> 00:24:39,910
A Christian woman knows her place.
351
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:46,220
So go ahead and punch me in the face.
Cause I deserve it. I was wrong.
352
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:52,720
That's why I wrote this holiday song.
With my big, big fist and my Botox.
353
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,640
Merry Christmas, Jesus Christ.
354
00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:58,060
Come on, seniors, sing along.
355
00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:01,740
A Christian woman knows her place.
356
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:08,120
So go ahead and punch me in the face.
Cause I deserve it. I was wrong.
357
00:25:08,750 --> 00:25:14,270
That's why I wrote this holiday song
with my big red hips and my bold dark
358
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,410
It's a very Christmas easy ride.
359
00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:20,490
A Christian woman knows her place.
360
00:25:20,730 --> 00:25:25,630
So go ahead and watch me race. Cause I
deserve it.
27167
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