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1
00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,874
Okay, here's the thing
about my family:
2
00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:06,963
we don't go on a lot of outings
together, but when we do,
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,096
there's a little tradition
we always end up observing.
4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,532
When you say lifetime ban,
5
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,099
I mean, whose lifetime
are you talking about?
6
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,883
REESE:
Ow! Mom, let my feet
7
00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:15,102
touch the ground.
8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,929
Don't you ever ask me
for anything ever again.
9
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,714
I should've just
given birth to chimps.
10
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:21,064
Then at least I know
to expect this kind of behavior.
11
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,239
Ow!
12
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,328
Believe it or not,
I actually envy Dewey.
13
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,678
He got to stay home and play
with the babysitter.
14
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:29,551
And then the ambulance came,
but there was this balloon.
15
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,943
And then I was chasing it,
16
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,423
and then I didn't know
where I was.
17
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,077
And then I chased a bag,
18
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,992
and then I really didn't know
where I was.
19
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,080
And then I saw you,
20
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,169
and I thought
maybe you could help me
21
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:41,911
because you helped that other
girl-- the one in the movie.
22
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,435
So if you could just
come to life and help me,
23
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,481
I'd really appreciate it.
24
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,921
DEWEY:
Thanks anyway.
25
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:55,316
♪ Yes, no, maybe
26
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:58,101
♪ I don't know
27
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,322
♪ Can you repeat the question?
28
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:03,150
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
29
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,761
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
30
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:08,111
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
31
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,113
♪ And you're not so big
32
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,768
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
33
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,770
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
34
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:17,164
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
35
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:20,254
♪ And you're not so big
36
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:24,388
♪ Life is unfair.
37
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,836
It's 95 degrees outside.
38
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,751
It's 110 in here.
39
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,405
We have to run the heater
40
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,190
so the radiator
doesn't boil over.
41
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,800
Hal, stop swerving.
42
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,932
This darn silver Toyota's
been tailgating me
43
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,369
for the last three miles.
44
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,197
Just pull over,
let him pass.
45
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,156
Oh, flashing
the brights.
46
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,202
It's going to be
like that, huh?
47
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,290
[tires screeching]
48
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,204
Huh!
49
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,945
Good lord, Hal,
he could have a gun.
50
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,599
Just let him pass.
51
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:05,342
All right, silver Toyota,
you win this round.
52
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:10,086
Go ahead, get there
two seconds sooner!
53
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,002
That guy is just an accident
waiting to happen.
54
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:13,959
[screams]
55
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:14,917
[screams]
56
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,009
Dewey [monotonously]:
♪ A, B, C, D
57
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,664
♪ A, B, C, D
58
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,231
♪ A, B, C, D...
59
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,189
[chuckles] It's a good
thing I found you.
60
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,887
It's not very safe
for a little boy like you
61
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,324
to be all by yourself.
62
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,021
♪ A, B, C, D...
63
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,631
Oh, don't you worry.
64
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:36,243
I'm going to get you back home
to your parents.
65
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,374
They must be worried sick.
66
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:40,203
♪ A, B, C, D
67
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:43,206
♪ A, B, C, D...
68
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,120
It's "E," dear.
69
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,078
♪ A, B, C, D, E.
70
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,341
♪ E.
71
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,646
I know.
72
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,301
♪ A, B, C, D
73
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,218
♪ A, B, C, D...
74
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:58,047
"Sugar, corn syrup and gelatin."
75
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:01,703
How can something so
simple be so delicious?
76
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,400
That stuff's nasty, Francis.
77
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,576
To the unsophisticated
palate, yes,
78
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:09,058
but to me, the Candy Quack
is nature's perfect food.
79
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,669
I'll bet I could eat
a hundred of them.
80
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,846
No way. All that marshmallow
would expand in your stomach.
81
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,326
You wouldn't get past 50.
82
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,285
Okay, there's where
you're wrong, Joe.
83
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,287
See, the marshmallow
wouldn't expand.
84
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,244
It would dissolve.
85
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,854
I'd never get full.
86
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:23,855
In fact, I don't...
87
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,075
Will you just shut up!
88
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,598
I have sat back
89
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:31,123
and said nothing
while you've gone on and on
90
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,952
about how you can eat
a hundred of this
91
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:36,477
and lift a hundred of that.
92
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,044
The Quacks would expand.
93
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,090
You're an idiot
if you think different.
94
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,875
Okay, let me tell
you something.
95
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:47,052
If I say I can eat
a hundred Quacks,
96
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,620
you can take that as
a bona fide guarantee.
97
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,319
And there's no need to resort
to personal attacks,
98
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,146
because I'd hate to raise
99
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:58,325
the whole issue of you
wearing boxers in the shower.
100
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,074
That was so cool.
101
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,163
Did you see that truck
jackknife and flip over
102
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,513
and that wheel fly
through the air?
103
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,384
An explosion
would've been nice,
104
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:15,907
but you can't
have everything.
105
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,560
Yeah, Reese,
this is great.
106
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,302
Now we're stuck
here for hours
107
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,522
with no food and no
air-conditioning.
108
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,001
I guess it could be worse.
109
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,613
I could be the guy
in the silver Toyota.
110
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,356
Why can't you just
open one lane?
111
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,532
Lady, we have to wait
for the crane to get here
112
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:34,361
before we can even think of
opening this road to traffic.
113
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,232
Yeah, but if you just moved a
couple of those police cars,
114
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,799
there'd be enough room to
just pass on the shoulder.
115
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,583
I mean, this is
just plain stupid.
116
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:42,325
Ma'am, don't call
a police officer stupid.
117
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,545
What, that's a law now?
118
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:45,720
Look, my freshman year,
119
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,983
I ate seven pounds of grapes
in one sitting.
120
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,551
I think I know what my body
is capable of.
121
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,162
We're not talking
about grapes, Francis.
122
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,382
We're talking
about pure sucrose.
123
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,557
The human body simply
124
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,516
cannot absorb the sugar
in 100 Quacks.
125
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,604
CADETS:
Yeah!
126
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,214
Hey, in extreme cases,
127
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,826
the human pancreas has
been known to increase
128
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,262
its insulin production
by up to 60%.
129
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,698
CADETS:
Yeah!
130
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,396
Listen, your pancreas can
produce enough insulin
131
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,745
to fill a swimming pool.
132
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,399
That doesn't mean squat
133
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:14,226
if your adrenal gland
can't distribute it
134
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,793
into your bloodstream
fast enough!
135
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,142
CADETS:
Yeah!
136
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,927
[cadets arguing]
137
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,276
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
138
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,409
This argument is pointless.
139
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,290
One.
140
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,382
Look, look at that--
they're just standing around.
141
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,384
Yeah, 500 cars full of people
who actually have
142
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,430
someplace to go, and they're
just standing there talking.
143
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,822
What is there to discuss?!
144
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,651
Hey! Let me clear
something up for you!
145
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:48,783
This is a car wreck!
146
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:52,656
You're a road crew.
Do your job!
147
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,616
Are you even listening
to me?
148
00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:57,269
That could
have been me.
149
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,446
Yeah, well, Hal,
it could've been all of us.
150
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,317
Nope! No, that
car was sliced
151
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,101
right through
the driver's seat.
152
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:06,453
You and the boys would've
walked away without a scratch.
153
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,455
This totally sucks.
154
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,674
It's like an oven out here.
155
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,547
What is the point of wandering
aimlessly through traffic?
156
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,636
So we can find cool stuff
like this.
157
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,680
[chuckles]
158
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,247
Smells like gasoline.
159
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,031
Reese, can't we just
go back to the car?
160
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,076
My feet are killing...
161
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,643
Ice cream man!
162
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,645
[kids clamoring]
163
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,473
Go away!
164
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:29,432
There is no ice cream
in the truck!
165
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,651
He's lying!
166
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:33,131
There's tons of ice cream
in there!
167
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,439
The ice cream in the truck
is not for sale!
168
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,659
It is against the law
169
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,488
for me to sell ice cream
in the middle of traffic!
170
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,228
This is just wrong!
171
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,709
You could make money
and please children.
172
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:46,884
This is a senseless act.
173
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,539
You are evil--
pure evil!
174
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,541
Well, if you kids
are not willing
175
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,369
to discuss this sensibly...
176
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,243
You son of a...!
177
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,723
Look, there's nothing
you can do.
178
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:00,811
Yes, there is.
179
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,291
I can... I can...
180
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,684
[yelling]
181
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:06,600
[groaning]
182
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:09,733
And the Nobel
Prize goes to...
183
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,475
Hey, you're talking
about my brother.
184
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,042
Good one.
185
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,739
I'm Jessica-- gray Volvo.
186
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,567
Malcolm-- crappy minivan.
187
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,613
Do you want to go check
out the crash site?
188
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,354
Sure. You know, my dad
practically caused it.
189
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,530
Wow.
190
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,576
What time is it now?
191
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,534
It's still 4:00.
192
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,144
You have to wait
at least a minute
193
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,493
for the time
to change, dear.
194
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,190
What time is it in China?
195
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,584
Well, sweetie,
196
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:35,977
I think they're
a good 20 hour...
197
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,544
Do you speak Chinese?
198
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,328
Well, no. I...
199
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:40,547
Is Chinatown in China?
200
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,287
Honey, if you want
201
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,899
an answer to a question,
you have to first wait...
202
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,596
What does this toe do?
203
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,512
You know what? I need to
buy a pack of cigarettes--
204
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:52,907
for the first time
in 20 years.
205
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,741
DEWEY:
Grape juice, please.
206
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:04,353
[glass shatters]
207
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,660
[people screaming]
208
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,403
WOMAN:
He's getting away!
209
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,802
[tires screeching]
210
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,243
[whoops]
211
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,554
Hello.
212
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,390
Think about it, Lois.
213
00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:45,394
I stopped to tie my shoe
in the parking lot.
214
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,700
If I hadn't done that,
215
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,224
we would've been
on the road 20 seconds sooner.
216
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,966
I would've been 200 yards
ahead of where I was,
217
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,664
and then I would've
been the silver Toyota.
218
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,579
And if you hadn't
rented Body Heat,
219
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,754
we never would
have had Dewey.
220
00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,060
It's all an intricate
tapestry, Hal.
221
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,714
OPERATOR:
Ma'am?
222
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,499
Yes. Hello... D-Did you
ask your supervisor?
223
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,979
Yes, and this phone is for
224
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,937
emergency roadside assistance
only, ma'am.
225
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,765
I can't connect you
to a private line.
226
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,812
Look, I have got to get
through to my babysit...
227
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,379
Look. J-Just let me talk
to the supervisor.
228
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:15,642
One moment, ma'am.
229
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,732
[deep voice]:
Hello. This is the supervisor.
230
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,168
No, it isn't.
231
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,996
You're just disguising
your voice.
232
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,738
No, I'm not.
I'm really the supervisor.
233
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,261
You can't do this!
234
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,306
Ma'am, I'm about to be replaced
by a machine.
235
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,657
I can do whatever
I damn well please.
236
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,747
H-Hey! Where do you think
you're going, young lady?
237
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,314
It's okay. My dad's an
investigator for the D.O.T.
238
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,447
Oh, there he is.
Hi, Daddy!
239
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,452
Okay.
240
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:47,630
Whoa. Your dad's
a crash investigator?
241
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,458
Here's a little
secret, Malcolm:
242
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:52,417
whenever you want something,
everybody's your dad.
243
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,636
Hi, Daddy!
244
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:02,776
Okay, she's cute, she's smart,
and she even lies to cops.
245
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:05,213
I may be in over my head here.
246
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:08,520
CADETS:
Forty-six!
247
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,349
Forty-seven!
248
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,916
Forty-eight!
249
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,855
[ice cream truck music playing]
250
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,733
And when you're constantly
moving from town to town,
251
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,691
it's really hard
to make friends.
252
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,867
So, yeah, I acted
out, I guess.
253
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,739
But who wouldn't
in my situation?
254
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,393
[siren wailing]
255
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,569
All right,
I got to let you off here.
256
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,788
Okay.
257
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:27,295
Sixty-one!
258
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,733
Sixty-two!
259
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,867
Sixty-three!
260
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:37,000
Sixty-two!
261
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,829
Sixty-one!
262
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,396
Sixty-two!
263
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,746
Sixty-three!
264
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,662
Malcolm, you have got
to check out this view.
265
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,795
Ow! I hate
pricker bushes.
266
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,971
What fruit are they
trying to protect anyway?
267
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,625
Do you see anything on
here worth protecting?
268
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,149
What are we
doing up here?
269
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,628
Just enjoying the sights.
270
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,763
[grunting]
271
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,460
And check out
that crazy lady.
272
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:05,942
[shouting]
273
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:08,858
So tell me about
this gifted class.
274
00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:09,772
It's horrible.
275
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,165
I'm surrounded
by Krelboynes.
276
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,557
I have to do twice
as much homework
277
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,994
as anyone else
in my grade.
278
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,996
I have to take all these
college-prep classes...
279
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:16,910
What a nightmare.
280
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,128
If you're not careful,
281
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,913
you might get a full
scholarship to Harvard.
282
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,653
You don't understand.
283
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,220
Malcolm, you've been
bellyaching nonstop
284
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:24,831
for an hour and a half.
285
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,964
Seriously,
all you do is bitch.
286
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,444
I happen to bitch
the perfect amount
287
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,706
for someone
in my situation.
288
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,055
Today is the
perfect example.
289
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,230
Look at this mess.
290
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,058
What's good about this?
291
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:39,933
Well... if it weren't
for this...
292
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,761
we never would have met.
293
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,985
[grunting]
294
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,989
How could I not see that coming?
295
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,425
This girl's incredible!
296
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:55,470
[screams]
297
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,037
Ow!
298
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,430
Ow!
299
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,780
Pricker bush.
300
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,219
And I keep rolling it
around in my head--
301
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,003
how much time do I have left?
302
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,831
And what have I done
with my life?
303
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,964
I mean, what is
my contribution?
304
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,617
You go home
at night knowing
305
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:15,403
that you have helped to make
the world a better place
306
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,405
by forging that thin blue line,
307
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,885
and that is real, man.
308
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,887
If I could just once
309
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:24,064
feel that sense
of accomplishment, it...
310
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,544
Do you know
how special you are?
311
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,763
Do you?
312
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:36,511
Z... Y... X...
313
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,297
W...
314
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,696
Okay, let me get this straight.
We have been waiting
315
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:51,787
all afternoon for a crane,
and now the crane is here.
316
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,093
That's right.
317
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,791
And the man who works
the crane, he's here, too.
318
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,533
That's right.
319
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,103
Then why is nothing happening?!
320
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,018
Look, we can't touch anything
321
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,020
until the investigators sign
off on the accident report.
322
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,587
Yeah, but they must have been
done hours ago. Where are they?
323
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,459
That's a whole
nother department.
324
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,635
It's really not
my job to know.
325
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:21,469
Start... the... crane.
326
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,211
You can't tell me what to do.
327
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,563
[metal creaking]
328
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:30,957
[grunting]
329
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,175
Hey, not so fast,
Charlie!
330
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,568
Ah! Let go of me!
331
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,613
What do you think
you're doing, huh?
332
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:38,181
Nothing! I'm just
going for a walk!What the hell's going on?!
333
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,009
This kid was trying
to break into your truck.
334
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:41,054
Let go of me!
335
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,185
I just want
some damn ice cream.
336
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,970
You don't deserve ice cream.
337
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,320
Yeah, well, you don't deserve
to be an ice cream man!
338
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,712
Ow!
339
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,150
Come here, you punk!
You little punk!
340
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,369
That will teach you
to mess with me!
341
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,545
I was a surgeon in my country!
342
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,681
[gasps]
343
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958
MAN:
Way to go!
344
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,090
[excited chatter]
345
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,004
Hit me again.
346
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,702
Come on! Come on!
347
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,058
Ha!
348
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:32,670
Looks like the human body
can only accept 96 Quacks.
349
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,846
Check and mate.
350
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:37,849
Francis, just four more.
351
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,112
You can do it.
352
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,809
Can't...
353
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,898
Quacks...
354
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,552
Dying...
355
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:47,642
Hey, no one said he had
to eat all the Quacks.
356
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:51,385
They just have to be
inside his body, right?
357
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,474
[cadets murmuring]
358
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,136
[cadets cheering]He did it!
359
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,225
100 Quacks!
360
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,404
You got heart.
361
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,145
Hey, way to go,
Francis.
362
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,885
Man, that was way cooler
than the time
363
00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:15,409
Davis did a thousand sit-ups.
364
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:16,801
Impossible.
365
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,629
I mean, Davis is
in pretty good shape,
366
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,022
but a thousand sit-ups?
367
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,372
You're just begging
for a double hernia.
368
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,157
Man, it's that kind
of small-minded thinking
369
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,289
that keeps you from
recognizing true greatness.
370
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,290
[cadets arguing]
371
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,031
What are you
talking about?
372
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,293
You're always arguing
about something, man.
373
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,339
A thousand sit-ups?
Are you crazy?
374
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,519
[burps softly]
375
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,740
Pleasure doing business
with you, Kyle.
376
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,307
Nice moves
out there, Erin.
377
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:47,180
And here's your share,
Mr. Wells.
378
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,271
That man left us no choice.
379
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,490
[laughter]
380
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,147
Try the green one!
381
00:16:58,191 --> 00:17:00,541
[laughter]
382
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,544
Come on out
of there, ma'am.
383
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,241
You order them
to move this thing!
384
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,113
Let's just get you
out of the crane,
385
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,244
and then we'll have
a little talk.
386
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,726
Don't you dare patronize me.
387
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,205
Okay, you don't want
to be patronized?
388
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,425
I'll be blunt.
You're a control freak.
389
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,773
I see them all the time.
390
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:19,125
But guess what?
This is a traffic jam.
391
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,214
It is out of your control.Yeah, but I...
392
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,650
You can't boss it around.
393
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:25,218
You can't yell at it
and expect it to listen.
394
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:26,219
I have been...
395
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,351
It will end when it ends!
396
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,179
You just have
to live with it.
397
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:33,052
There's absolutely nothing
you can do about it.
398
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,494
[laughter]
399
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,334
Whose damn dog is this?!
400
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:58,207
I said, whose damn dog is this?!
401
00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,165
He's trapped inside.
402
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,167
All the windows are rolled up.
403
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,865
It's... it's, like,
90 degrees out here!
404
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,347
Okay, okay...
405
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,175
it is nobody's damn dog.
406
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:12,787
Then I guess nobody's
going to mind if I just do this!
407
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:20,969
Oh... don't be scared,
little doggy.
408
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,318
Oh, no.
409
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,059
Everything's going to be o...
410
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,321
[growling]
411
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,627
[gasps]
412
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,021
[sighs]
413
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:40,336
Oh, poor thing.
414
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,426
Okay, I got it.
415
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,341
I was hoping
I could deliver a baby
416
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:50,041
in a taxicab or something,
but... a life is a life.
417
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,608
Oh, now look at you.
418
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,394
Huh? How did you get like this?
419
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,352
There you go, pal.
420
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,400
[dog snarling, barking]
421
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,193
I'm impressed.
422
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,326
You actually have
a working first-aid kit.
423
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,632
We used to, but my brother
ate all the Band-Aids.
424
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:16,764
I think you'll live.
425
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,069
You know, I
was thinking,
426
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,593
maybe sometime
we can do something.
427
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,072
It'd be cool if...
428
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,380
You're from Canada?!
429
00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:27,296
We're here on vacation.
430
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:31,344
[dog snarling, barking]
431
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,476
Why didn't you tell me?
432
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,000
Because then you would have
spent the whole day grousing.
433
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,915
I knew this was
too good to be true.
434
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,222
I mean, why should I
get to meet someone
435
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,919
who's smart, funny,
not a Krelboyne,
436
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,443
not a member of my family?
437
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,097
But we did meet, Malcolm,
and it was awesome.
438
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:48,317
You know, it's okay
to enjoy something
439
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,232
even if it's just
for a little while.
440
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,842
Come on, we had fun.
441
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,279
No, we didn't.
442
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:54,802
You just said we did.
443
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,413
That was before I knew this
was all a big waste of time.
444
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,112
[people cheering]
445
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:02,897
WOMAN: Doogie, come back
to the car, honey.
446
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,291
MAN: Bobby, get a
move on, sport.
447
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:08,294
LOIS:
Malcolm! Reese! Move!
448
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,470
I got to go.
449
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:14,430
Just pull out, Hal.
450
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:17,303
I am waiting my turn.
451
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,262
JESSICA:
Malcolm!
452
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,133
Malcolm! Here's my phone number!
453
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,439
Call me!
454
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:57,168
That... was so much fun!
455
00:20:57,212 --> 00:21:00,389
Who would have thought
a traffic jam would be so cool?
456
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,522
We should totally
do this again.
457
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,350
When are we going
on another road trip?
458
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:07,135
Oh, how about next week?
459
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,573
See you, kid.
460
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:13,576
[laughs]
461
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,752
Bye, Santa!
462
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,501
Hi, Mom.
463
00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:27,416
Dewey, where's
the babysitter?
464
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:28,330
She went away.
465
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:30,463
You got rid
of another babysitter?
466
00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:31,986
What is wrong
with you kids?
467
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:34,597
Then I drove off with
a potato chip man.
468
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,207
Then I picked apples.
469
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,558
Then we all went to jail.
Then I played the...
30449
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