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1
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,007
I picked this trick up
in camp last year.
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,177
This is gonna be great.
3
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,880
Wait for it.
4
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,516
Wait for it...
5
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,086
Oh, screw it.
6
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,562
Oh, man.
7
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,030
What's wrong, Reese?
8
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,232
Nothing! Just-just shut up
9
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,567
and go to sleep, okay?
10
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,569
It's good to be alive.
11
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,672
* Yes, no, maybe
12
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,342
* I don't know
13
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,745
* Can you repeat the question?
14
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,181
* You're not the boss
of me now *
15
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,683
* You're not
the boss of me now *
16
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,086
* You're not the boss
of me now *
17
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,255
* And you're not so big
18
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,857
* You're not the boss
of me now *
19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,926
* You're not
the boss of me now *
20
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,562
* You're not the boss
of me now *
21
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,931
* And you're not so big
22
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:08,702
* Life is unfair.
23
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,071
(alarm beeping)
24
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,276
Hey, Dewey, wake up!
25
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,611
It's Monday morning.
Hooray!
26
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,447
I never thought
I'd be happy about a Monday,
27
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,882
but today's the end of two
months of being grounded.
28
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,218
Two months!
29
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,220
What are you doing?
30
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,722
Shut up! I have to finish
my history homework.
31
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,225
Reese, we couldn't do
anything all weekend.
32
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,293
No friends,
33
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,062
no TV;
we did absolutely nothing.
34
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,465
And you still managed
not to do your homework?
35
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,899
Hey, the point is,
we never should've
36
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,734
been grounded
in the first place.
37
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,969
He is right.
38
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,138
Mom went way overboard.
39
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,307
We didn't even do
anything that bad.
40
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,577
Okay, so if we give you
Dewey's bike,
41
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,612
Circus will eat
a wet dog food sandwich.
42
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,481
Right.
43
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,948
Sounds good.
Okay then.
44
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,584
Wait a minute.
45
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,452
I don't want you ripping off
my little brothers.
46
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:02,656
You only get the bike
if he eats the whole can.
47
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,759
Done.
48
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,295
You the man, Circus.
49
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,630
You the man.
50
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,605
This is worth it.
51
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,007
What you gonna tell Mom?
52
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,477
(sniffling)
53
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,515
The guy pushed him off...
54
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,149
took the bike...
55
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:34,355
and then just ran off.
56
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,658
How'd she know we were lying?
57
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,693
We were brilliant.
58
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,496
(muffled groaning)
59
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,666
How's Mom?
60
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,167
Oh, she's got
a temperature of 104.
61
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,303
I've never seen her this sick.
62
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,972
It's like some sort of horrible
science experiment in there.
63
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,642
Mom's been sick
with the flu all weekend.
64
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,511
I'd feel more sympathetic,
but two months with no TV
65
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,680
has killed the part of me
that cares.
66
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,316
I finally figured out
67
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,484
how Mom could tell
we were lying.
68
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,552
How?
69
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,819
Pheromones.
70
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,154
She can smell the fear on us.
71
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,322
Next time you lie,
72
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,690
you have to take a shower first.
73
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,058
HAL:
Okay, boys,
74
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,493
look, I got to go to work,
but before I do,
75
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,994
I want to talk to you
for a minute.
76
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,529
Now, when I get home,
77
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,998
I get to plug this cord
back into the TV.
78
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,034
So you boys have to behave.
79
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,838
You're not the only ones
who've suffered with no TV.
80
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,007
For all I know, there's
a new wrestling champion.
81
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,678
So... I want you to get
to school on time.
82
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,179
And before you leave,
you go in there,
83
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,181
and tell your mother
to feel better.
84
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,683
Maybe we should
just let her sleep.
85
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,351
She slept straight through
the last 48 hours.
86
00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:40,254
I think it's okay
to wake her up for five minutes.
87
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,105
Mom?
88
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,307
(groaning)
89
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,043
You're starting
to look better.
90
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,778
He's not lying.
91
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:07,080
Mom kills most germs on contact,
92
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,383
but when one does get through,
it's a doozy.
93
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,719
You kids remember
94
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,754
you're not stepping foot
out of this house today.
95
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,255
Huh?
No TV.
96
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,225
No friends... till tomorrow.
97
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,060
But, Mom...
This is the last Sunday
98
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,562
of your punishment.
99
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,431
But...
(coughing)
100
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,799
Okay, Mom, we got it.
We're still grounded.
101
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,469
What are you doing?
102
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,770
Mom slept all weekend.
103
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,572
She still thinks
it's Sunday.
104
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,840
You know what this means?
105
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,443
No.
106
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,910
We can pretend today's Sunday
107
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,111
and stay home from school.
108
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,647
Oh, I'm in.
109
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,281
Okay, Mom.
110
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,317
We're just going to go
continue our punishment.
111
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,618
And we're definitely
not going to school.
112
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,854
(quietly):
Shut up.
113
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,797
*
114
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,448
MAN:
Beautiful, huh?
115
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,983
Huh?!
Just came in this week.
116
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,317
Just looking.
I'm just...
117
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,286
Please, take your time,
take your time.
118
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,488
Enjoy yourself.
119
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,289
Wow.
(chuckles)
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,958
I love this car.
Yeah.
121
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,128
Oh, I see you've added
four ponies from last year.
122
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,997
We also put in
the new skid control system.
123
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,699
Oh?
Hey, you know,
124
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,033
the new brochures just came in.
125
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,334
I could show you one
if you want.
126
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,837
No, I-I-I should get to work.
127
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,139
Sir, can I ask,
128
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,476
is your job really so important
129
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:46,146
that you can't allow yourself
five minutes of pleasure?
130
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:50,017
I have no response to that.
131
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,853
Yes!
All right!
132
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,655
All right, this'll be great!
133
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,156
Yes!
134
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,026
No, wait, we can't.
Someone will see us.
135
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,327
We're supposed
to be in school.
136
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,062
Okay.
137
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,897
We'll just stay inside
and watch T...
138
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,166
Oh, dang!
139
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,436
Just give me
some time to think.
140
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,519
Come on, already,
think of something!
141
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,087
I'm trying.
142
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,556
All I've got
are all the reasons
143
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,724
this was a stupid idea
in the first place.
144
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,359
Even if we manage
to keep Mom fooled,
145
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,361
we're screwed as soon
as Dad gets home.
146
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,697
It basically means
we're gonna sit here
147
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,231
bored out of our minds
for eight hours
148
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,034
and wait for Mom to
top our last punishment.
149
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,369
How could you be so stupid?
150
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,371
I could've done that myself.
151
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,773
(phone ringing)
152
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,908
Get it before Mom wakes up!
153
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,879
(deep voice): Hello.
FRANCIS: Look, Mom.
154
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,914
It's all a pack of lies!
I had nothing to do with it!
155
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,616
Seriously, I was
nowhere near that place...
Francis?
156
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:56,717
It's Francis? Let me talk.
Oh! Oh!
157
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,718
Come on, let me talk! Please?
158
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,752
What are you guys doing home?
159
00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,753
MALCOLM:
Mom's sick.
160
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:00,954
She thinks it's Sunday.
161
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,456
We kind of went with it.
162
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,957
Cool.
163
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,793
Oh, dude, I need you to do me
a giant favor.
164
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,294
Go check the mail.
165
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,463
Okay, there should be
a letter there
166
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,465
from Southern Alabama State.
167
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,567
Yeah, it's here.
168
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,402
Why, did you apply there?
No.
169
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,237
There's probably no point
in me ever trying to.
170
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,907
I kind of drove a backhoe
into their swimming pool.
171
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,076
Oh, man. Did they have
to drain the pool?
172
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,311
No, if you put
a ten-foot crack in them,
173
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,913
they pretty much
drain themselves.
174
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,247
They did have to drain
the gym, though.
175
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,249
Ooh.
But I have a plan.
176
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,618
I want you to take the letter
177
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,985
and hide it.
178
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,320
Okay, and then what?
179
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,655
And then hopefully...
180
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,323
I'll come up
with a good idea later.
181
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,091
That's all I got so far.
182
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,260
Yeah, we're kind of
in the same boat.
183
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,829
We're stuck in the house
with nothing to do.
184
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,164
You guys should go down
to the arcade on Hillcrest.
185
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,433
The manager there has
a pretty enlightened outlook
186
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,968
about a kid's right to choose
his own school hours.
187
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,603
We don't have
any money, though.
188
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,104
All right, you guys
are doing me a favor,
189
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,106
so I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
190
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,441
Mom keeps some money
191
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,610
in the top left drawer
of her dresser,
192
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,011
but she won't notice
193
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,480
if you only take
between five and seven dollars.
194
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,323
What are
you boys doing?
195
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,292
Looking for
our money.
196
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,360
It's not there.
197
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,529
I moved it
to the back of the closet.
198
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,165
Where she hides
her Christmas presents?
199
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,466
No...
200
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,002
I moved those to the attic.
201
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:29,209
Um, Mom, where'd you hide
that football
202
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,878
I broke the window with?
203
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,212
In the garage.
204
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,347
And when you made
chipped beef on toast
last week,
205
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,717
was that really beef?
206
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,818
Who knows?
207
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,187
It was 39 cents a pound.
208
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,325
Did Grandpa really
punch Jimmy Carter in the face?
209
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,829
No, he just threw a rock
at the motorcade and ran off.
210
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,164
Did you really give
my red blanket to the poor kids?
211
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,935
No, your father used it
to clean the barbecue.
212
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,504
I was really adopted,
wasn't I?
213
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:02,175
Oh, you're ours...
and we love you.
214
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,410
Damn.
215
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,514
So, um...
216
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,717
I don't know.
217
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:10,851
What's your
favorite color?
218
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,387
For the third time, green.
219
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,856
Let's just go.
220
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,891
Wait.
221
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,860
I got a good one.
222
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,030
How'd you know Dewey's bike
wasn't really stolen?
223
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,397
That is a good one.
224
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,279
I can't believe it!
Francis ratted on us to Mom!
225
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,448
No!
226
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,051
He wouldn't do that.
You did it!
227
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,619
Shut up!
He sold us out!
228
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,454
Francis is dead
to us now!
229
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,623
Wait a minute--
230
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,625
that makes me
the oldest brother.
231
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:52,893
Guys, seriously--
232
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,595
if you have any problems,
you can come to me.
233
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,797
Dewey, get me some ice tea.
234
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,765
No!
235
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,268
We should just give this to Mom
and let him fry.
236
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,102
Right.
237
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,136
No, wait!
238
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,604
It's Francis.
239
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,974
We can't just take
Mom's word for it.
240
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,109
Hey, Malcolm, everything okay?
241
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,811
Um, Francis...
242
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,913
we were just
wondering...
243
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,748
Mom said...
244
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,417
you ratted on us
about Dewey's bike.
245
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,587
But she's probably
just mixed up, right?
246
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,090
Because you're our big brother
and you wouldn't do
247
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,658
something like
that-- Francis?
248
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,959
You don't know
249
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,761
what kind of pressure
I was under!
250
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,762
You butt-wipe!
251
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,930
How could you?
252
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,164
Well, did he do it?
253
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,432
I can't believe you!
254
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,600
You're our big brother!
255
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,769
You're supposed
to protect us,
not betray us.
256
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,270
He did it, didn't he?
257
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,272
Malcolm, just let me explain...
And then you actually
258
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,109
have the nerve to ask us
to risk our butts for you?
259
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,444
Maybe we should just
give the letter to Mom.
260
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,847
No, you can't do that!
Yeah, why not?
261
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,982
Because if you give
the letter to Mom,
262
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,650
she'll know it's not Sunday.
263
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,653
I'll just tell her it
came special delivery.
264
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,622
Yeah, well, she won't believe it
265
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,791
'cause she would have
to sign for it.
266
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,459
I could forge
her signature.
267
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,628
But then she'll know
you can forge her signature.
268
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,796
Which won't
matter at all
269
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,331
because she'll be
so mad at you,
270
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,633
she won't even think
about me for a few days.
271
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,301
And even if she does,
I'll just tell her
272
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,469
I didn't want
to disturb her.
273
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,004
So in addition to
you getting nailed,
274
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,672
I'll get points for
being sympathetic.
275
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,976
Put Reese on the phone.
276
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,145
You know, Hal,
owning a Porsche
277
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,647
is not just for
the wealthy anymore.
278
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,649
My lifemate and I,
we both drive 'em.
279
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,817
Really?
280
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,518
Oh, she's a very
lucky lady.
281
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,023
Oh. A blond.
282
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,894
This is going to
sound clichéd, Hal,
283
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,829
but what can I do to put you
in that car today?
284
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,831
You can give me $90,000.
285
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,733
(both laughing)
286
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,068
That's funny.
287
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,736
Yeah.
Seriously, we have
288
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,538
all kinds of financial plans
available.
289
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,706
(sighs)
290
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,175
Why don't we take it
for a test drive?
291
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,177
Nah, I... I don't know.
292
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,379
I would have to call work and...
293
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,214
There's a phone...
294
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,249
in the car.
295
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,387
So, do we give Mom
the letter now
296
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,756
or wait till Dad gets home
and give him both barrels?
297
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,924
Now!
298
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,558
Do it now!
299
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,860
We're not giving
Mom the letter.
300
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:07,895
Of course we are!
301
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:08,929
We have to!
302
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:09,897
He's a traitor!
303
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,098
He has to pay!
304
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,399
He must suffer!
305
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,434
We can't give
Mom the letter.
She'd kill him.
306
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,204
But we can make him
think we're giving
her the letter.
307
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,271
We could make
him think
308
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,940
we're scuzzy,
dirty backstabbers
309
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,374
just like he is.
310
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,542
Oh, okay.
311
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,745
(phone rings)
312
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,547
Hello.
Hey, it's me.
313
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,049
Well, if it isn't
the snitch.
314
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,717
Hi, snitch.
315
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,219
Come on, Malcolm.
316
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,788
Let's just end this
before it gets out
of control.
317
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,223
I know how you
guys feel.
318
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,058
You do, huh?
How do we feel?
319
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,560
Well... bad.
320
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,561
No.
321
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,896
The words that
come to my mind
322
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:46,900
are revenge,
payback, envelope.
323
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,936
Malcolm, you're not going
to give Mom the letter.
324
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,304
I don't think you're in
any position to call the shots.
325
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,740
No, but... Richie should be
right about now.
326
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,275
Richie?
Yeah?
327
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,248
That was the best 12 minutes
of my life.
328
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,083
Well, I'm glad
to hear that, Hal.
329
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,252
You know, there are
a couple of people
330
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,486
I'd like you to meet.
331
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,426
FRANCIS:
Okay, listen up:
332
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,763
my mom's in her bedroom,
so you gotta keep it down,
333
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,999
and remember,
don't hurt my brothers.
334
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,100
(glass breaking)
335
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,668
Circus!
336
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,136
It's okay. It was ugly.
337
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,437
Man, just get the letter
338
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,606
and don't let Malcolm
out of your sight.
339
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,275
He's too smart.
340
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,342
Uh-oh.
341
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,011
What do you mean, "uh-oh"?
What did he do?
342
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,145
He's out of breath.
343
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,281
Damn it!
He hid the letter.
344
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,482
Okay, kid,
you've got
345
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:36,783
three seconds to tell me
346
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,351
or I'm going to pound you
within an...
347
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,619
Richie!
348
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,154
Which part
of "no hurting my brothers"
349
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,189
didn't you understand?
350
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,456
I got to tell you, man,
351
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,791
you're not allowing me
352
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,526
a single creative
thought here.
353
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,862
(whispering):
Where'd you put it?
354
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,197
In the VCR.
I know.
355
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,631
If we set fire
to the house,
356
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,666
Malcolm will go
right for the letter.
357
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,368
Why would he go
right for the letter?
358
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,305
Well, maybe we should
just set fire to the
house and find out.
359
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,973
Put Justin on the phone.
360
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,674
You the man, Francis.
361
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,809
You the man!
362
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,377
Put Richie back on the phone.
363
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,213
Hey, you can tear up
the house if you want
364
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,215
with my mom here
and explain it to her
365
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,983
or you can quit
and slink away
366
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,719
like the monosyllabic
mouth-breathers you are.
367
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,887
What'd he say?
368
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,322
He said a lot of things,
369
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,391
but the gist of it is,
we got to tear up the house.
370
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,493
No, you can't do that. Just...
371
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,162
wait a minute,
I have an idea.
372
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,363
Look at Reese.
373
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,564
What's he doing?
374
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,199
He's just
sitting there.
375
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,168
No, look at his eyes.
What are his eyes doing?
376
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,502
They're looking back at me.
377
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,204
Okay, just keep looking at him.
378
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,025
He's looking at the VCR.
379
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,527
No, I-I was looking at the...
the other thing.
380
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,296
Bingo! We got it!
381
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,034
JUSTIN:
You're the man, Richie!
382
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,235
All right!
383
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,304
Who wants a latte?
384
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,210
I'm really sorry,
you guys.
385
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,878
For what?
386
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,113
You were perfect.
387
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,382
You did exactly
what I thought you'd do.
388
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,284
What are you
talking about?
389
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,418
They have a fake letter.
390
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,886
I knew Francis
wouldn't leave us alone
391
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,920
without getting something
392
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,589
and I knew you'd give it away.
393
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,125
I knew exactly
what everyone would do.
394
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,926
So where's the
real letter?
395
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,628
I had to think
of the one place
396
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,263
they'd never think
of looking.
397
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,731
I had to give it
to the one person
398
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,799
they'd never think
399
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:33,900
I'd give it to.
400
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,235
I did the most
brilliant thing of all:
401
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,403
I gave it to Dewey.
402
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,738
And I hid it
under Mom's pillow.
403
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,273
You what?!
404
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,818
I'm gonna kill him.
I'm gonna kill him.
405
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,987
I am going
to kill him!
406
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,990
(making ghostly sounds)
407
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,092
This is all a dream.
408
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,160
Oh, shut up, Reese!
409
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,128
Mom, stop it.
410
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,162
You're sick.
411
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,430
I'm too mad to be sick.
412
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,432
No, he has finally
done it this time.
413
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,666
Where is that brochure
414
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,501
for the work farm
in Arizona?
415
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:11,438
He thinks military school
is tough?
416
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,673
Just wait.
417
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,642
Wait.
418
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,178
Wait...
419
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,279
wait...
420
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,680
wait!
421
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,784
(Lois retching)
422
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,952
Hey, Malcolm?
423
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:26,953
Hi, Francis.
424
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,321
Look, I'm sorry about all this.
425
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,356
I shouldn't have
426
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,657
sent those guys over.
427
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,658
It was stupid.
428
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,825
You know, Francis,
429
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,295
we never actually intended
to show the letter to Mom.
430
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,963
We just wanted to scare you.
431
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,131
Yeah, I know.
432
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,532
You guys would never
do that to me.
433
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,867
But if she did see the letter,
434
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,536
you'd know it was just
an accident, right?
435
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,172
Yeah, but Richie has the letter.
436
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,309
Please tell me
Richie has the letter.
437
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,211
Richie has coupons.
438
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,912
Mom has the letter.
439
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,016
But like I said, it was just
an accident. I swear.
440
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,886
So the thing you've been
threatening to do all day
441
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,223
but had no intention of doing,
you did but didn't mean to?
442
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,523
Yeah.
443
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,193
You can yell
at us now.
444
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,727
(sighs)
445
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,362
No, I guess I deserve it.
446
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,830
I shouldn't have ratted
on you guys.
447
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,167
Mom was just really
pressuring me about coming home
448
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,169
and, well, I folded.
449
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,670
Coming home?
450
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,739
Yeah, she said if I wanted
to come home for the summer,
451
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,108
I had to tell her
about the bike.
452
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:26,179
But that's just a lame excuse.
453
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,448
I'm sorry.
454
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:36,055
Actually,
that was a pretty good excuse.
455
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,692
Wow, you have made
a great deal here, Hal.
456
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,229
Now, you just, uh,
sign right there
457
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,763
and she's all yours.
458
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,199
Yeah, you know, I-I've
been thinking...
459
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,035
I think maybe I got
a little overexcited.
460
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,603
Aw, that's just the jitters.
461
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,206
They'll be long gone
when you're roaring home
462
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,741
in your brand-new
Porsche.
463
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,243
Just sign.
No, I think
464
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,777
maybe we should
do this another time
465
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,212
because I-I'm not
feeling very well
466
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,280
and my wife has the flu...
467
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,714
I'll tell you what--
468
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,050
let's throw in
the new chrome turbo wheels
469
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,453
and free car washes
for a year-- just sign.
470
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,055
I can't.
471
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,725
But, Hal...
472
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,595
you put your initials
by this number.
473
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,063
Sorry.
474
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,599
Maybe some other time.
475
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,902
Hal, will you do me
one favor?
476
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,238
One favor, now,
I want you just to...
477
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,107
stick your head in the car
one last time, okay?
478
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,942
I want you to smell
the leather,
479
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,911
take another look
at that console,
480
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,080
and tell me you don't
want this car.
481
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,081
Go ahead, do it.
482
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,485
Come on.
483
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,119
(inhaling)
484
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,621
So what do you say?
485
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,923
(retching)
486
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,958
I told you I was sick!
487
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,603
Oh, my God!
488
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,670
You guys,
489
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,272
we can save Francis.
490
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,673
What?!
Think about it--
491
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,008
every time
Mom gets mad,
492
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,311
she forgets about
everything else in the world
493
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,945
except for the things
she's mad at.
494
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,647
That focus is the key
to her power.
495
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,648
So?
496
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:09,949
So Mom won't care so much
497
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,451
about sending Francis
to a work farm
498
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,786
if she's busy being mad
at someone else, like at us.
499
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,322
We can do that.
500
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,123
Yeah.
You don't
understand.
501
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,292
We're going to have to get
in real trouble,
502
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:22,128
more trouble than we've ever
been in, in our entire lives.
503
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,131
And we can't make it look
like we're doing it on purpose.
504
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,834
I just want you guys to
know what you're in for.
505
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,736
We owe it to him.
506
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,844
Okay, we got
Dad's skating trophy,
507
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,646
Mom and Dad's
wedding portrait,
508
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,847
Mom's favorite lamp.
509
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,352
No, Dewey, it's stuff
they like, not you.
510
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,486
Oh.
511
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,520
Good!
512
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,489
Paint?!
513
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,690
Yeah.
514
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,825
That way, we not only
destroy the stuff;
515
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,160
we take out
the driveway,
516
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,195
splash on the house
and, with any luck,
517
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,664
get some
collateral damage
518
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,998
to the neighbors.
519
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,333
What a waste!
520
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,668
For any other reason
521
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,504
this would've been
the funnest thing ever.
522
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,838
(watch beeps)
523
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,173
Okay, guys...
524
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,209
have the last candy bars
of your childhood.
525
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,886
(cheerfully goofy):
Hey! Time to wake up!
526
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,854
Hey!
Time to wake up!
527
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:26,726
Hey! Time to wake up!
Hey! Time to wake up!
528
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,362
Hey!
Time to wake up!
529
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:33,232
Hey! Time to wake up!
Hey! Time to wake up!
530
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:37,069
Hey! Time to wake up!
Hey...
531
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,539
Okay, here she comes.
532
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,541
Now, remember,
this is supposed to be fun.
533
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,410
(boys whoop and cheer)
534
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:49,248
* Down, down, down you go
535
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,885
* No way to stop
536
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,555
* As you fall, hear me call
537
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:59,392
* "No, no, no"
538
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:04,130
* Fogging the view,
cupping face to the window *
539
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,900
* In darkness you make out
a spiraling shape *
540
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:11,804
* Putting all reason aside,
you exchange what you got *
541
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:15,475
* For a thing
that's hypnotic and strange *
542
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:20,647
* The spiraling shape
will make you go insane. *
543
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,782
(crashing)
544
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,253
Well, I guess
it's mission accomplished.
545
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,623
I don't think Mom even remembers
she has a son named Francis.
546
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,258
LOIS:
Boys!
547
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,462
Just come down.
548
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,264
We're not coming down until you
tell us what you're going to do.
549
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:42,001
Not going to tell you what I'm
going to do until you come down.
550
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,103
Why don't you
just tell us?
551
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,939
Why don't you just come down?
552
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,108
Tell us.
Come down.
553
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,443
Just tell us!
Come down.
554
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:53,480
But if you tell us,
we'll come down.
35616
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