Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,877
I got one!
2
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,853
Yes, yes. Cool.
3
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,490
Get him!
4
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,692
Ugh.
5
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,433
I got one!
6
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:40,208
* Yes, no, maybe
7
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,743
* I don't know
8
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,013
* Can you repeat the question?
9
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,216
* You're not the boss
of me now *
10
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,718
* You're not
the boss of me now *
11
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,087
* You're not the boss
of me now *
12
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,189
* And you're not so big
13
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,558
* You're not the boss
of me now *
14
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,693
* You're not
the boss of me now *
15
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,196
* You're not the boss
of me now *
16
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,965
* And you're not so big
17
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:08,602
* Life is unfair.
18
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,573
MALCOLM:
Okay, give me the tape.
19
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,974
What if we get caught?
20
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,409
Don't worry about it.
No one's home.
21
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,011
I cued it up
to the best part.
22
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,750
ANNOUNCER:
It's BattleBots,
23
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,753
and it's a free for all
at the battle area.
24
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,221
All of these heavyweight..
25
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,756
I thought this was porno.
26
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,824
Ew. No, this
is better.
27
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,461
And no one's...
excluded.
28
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,529
Come on, this is
the lamest thing I've...
29
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,301
Oh, my God, is that real?
30
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,902
It's an open
competition.
31
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,737
People build killer robots,
put them in a ring,
32
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,839
and see which one
comes out alive.
33
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:46,940
Killer robots?!
34
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,276
I can't believe it.
35
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:51,179
Finally something cool
about being smart.
36
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,013
I wish we could do that.
37
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,350
We were hoping you'd say that.
38
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:57,485
Here's the deal:
39
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,153
we want to enter
the competition.
40
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,522
We've got the designs,
we've got the desire,
41
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,258
and we're not distracted
by any kind of social life.
42
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:07,094
The only problem is that our
parents would never allow us
43
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,696
to build something
that dangerous.
44
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,298
That means we need a place
45
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,366
with a total lack
of caring adult supervision.
46
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,236
That's my house!
47
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,807
But those things look
really expensive.
48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,008
No problem.
49
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,211
My father tries
to buy my love.
50
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,078
(boys cheer)
51
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,617
Who's your... daddy?
52
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,052
Push.
What are
the odds, huh?
53
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,021
Of Francis having
an emergency appendectomy
54
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,458
two months after using
the same excuse to ditch school?
55
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,227
Well, he was never very lucky.
56
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,661
Oh, I need you
to call work
57
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,330
and tell them I
won't be coming in.
58
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,364
Will do.
(car horn honks)
59
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,566
Well, there's my cab.
60
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,574
What's that all about?
61
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,709
A little something
to remember me by.
62
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,478
You know, it just
occurred to me
63
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,980
that we have not been apart
for one night in 18 years.
64
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,515
You gonna be
okay with that?
65
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,551
(imitating baby):
I think I can manage
66
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,553
without my mommy
for a few days.
67
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,588
I told you that baby
voice creeps me out.
68
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,523
Sorry.
69
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,227
Ten-hut!
Well, Cadet,
70
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,663
I see you survived.
Yes, sir.
71
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,331
I brought you
a little something
72
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,700
to take your mind
off the pain.
73
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,602
This is a good
opportunity for you
74
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,371
to catch up
on your homework.
75
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,172
Take it from me--
76
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,908
a lengthy hospital stay
is the perfect environment
77
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,379
to focus your mind and attack
weaknesses in your character.
78
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,080
If it hadn't been
for this,
79
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:36,149
I never would've learned
conversational French.
80
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,420
Carry on.
81
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,956
Sorry, man.
82
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,025
I was this close
to going medieval on him.
83
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,527
You feeling okay?
84
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,029
I feel like I have a belly
full of broken glass.
85
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,199
Every time I breathe in, I
almost pass out from the pain.
86
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,967
This is the single
greatest thing
87
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,703
that has ever
happened to me.
88
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,138
What?
Well, for as long
as I can remember,
89
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,308
my mom has been
torturing me with guilt.
90
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,544
I've never been able to fight
back, but this is perfect.
91
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,915
Her first-born child almost dies
a thousand miles from home,
92
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,917
and she's the one
who sent me here.
93
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,753
She can't dismiss it,
she can't argue about it,
94
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,822
she can't twist it around
and make it my fault.
95
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,290
It's beautiful.
96
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:18,726
(groans)
Dude, you almost died.
97
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,261
I want you to say that
again when she gets here.
98
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:24,465
Oh, this poor woman has no
idea what she's walking into.
99
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,267
Okay, Mom's only gonna be gone
100
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:30,270
for about four or five days,
so we have to prioritize.
101
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,939
What are you asking Dad for?
102
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,474
I want to wear
my pajamas to school.
103
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,142
I'm getting a scope
for my BB gun.
104
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,510
You don't have a BB gun.
105
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,979
Not yet.
106
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,315
Okay, but since I'm asking
to build a killer robot,
107
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,350
I should go first.
108
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,017
Why?
109
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,919
Because anything
after "killer robot"
110
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,220
is gonna sound reasonable.
111
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,424
Dad?
112
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,759
Yeah.
113
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,461
A couple friends and
I want to explore
114
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,429
our engineering and
machining skills.
115
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,697
Sounds great.
116
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,132
So, um, you think
it'd be all right
117
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:02,269
if a bunch of Krelboynes and I
build a robot in the house?
118
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,971
Yeah, fine.
119
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,239
Whoa, that was
easy, even for him.
120
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,309
(pounding on door)
121
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,345
HAL:
For crying out loud.
122
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,246
Be strong.
123
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,350
Lois will get through
her operation.
124
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,685
She is a fighter.
125
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,520
No, no, Craig,
it was Francis.
126
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,121
Oh, my God.
127
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,556
Did he shoot her?
128
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,691
I knew it.
129
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,026
I t-told her
to stay away from him.
130
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,028
That boy has been
nothing but trouble.
131
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,998
Uh, Craig, uh, Lois did
not have an operation.
132
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,733
Our son Francis did.
133
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:36,870
Sh-She just went down to Alabama
to look after him for a while.
134
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,507
Oh.
135
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,542
Well, tell Lois
I stopped by.
136
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,046
I can't believe my mom missed
them putting my catheter in.
137
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,681
Maybe I should take it out
138
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,417
so they can reinsert it
when she gets here.
139
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,184
Or maybe you could,
140
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:54,755
I don't know, shut up about
your mom for half a second.
141
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,657
No one's that bad.
142
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,427
Hey, I been sugar-coating it
for you 'cause you're enfeebled.
143
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,728
LOIS:
Francis!
144
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,162
But you can just see
for yourself.
145
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,565
Hi, honey.
146
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,600
You look terrible.
147
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,236
(weakly): You think that's
gonna appease your guilt?
148
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,538
What guilt?
149
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,540
Boy, it's stuffy in here.
150
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,708
That can't be good for you.
151
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:15,909
You look pasty.
152
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,578
Have you had a
bowel movement?
153
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,680
When is the last time
you moved your bowels?
Mom...
154
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,848
Hello.
155
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,783
Who are you?
156
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,719
Edwin Spangler-- I am commandant
of Marlin Academy.
157
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,755
Good for you.
158
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,590
Where's your eye?
159
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,591
Pardon?
160
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,125
Do your ears work?
161
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,961
Do you have some business
with my son?
162
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,596
He needs to rest.
163
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,265
Well, I stopped by to pick up
your boy's homework.
164
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,468
Homework?! You're not
giving him homework.
165
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,035
My son nearly
lost his life--
166
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,737
something that never
would've happened
167
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,973
if you'd taken proper care
of him in the first place.
168
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,808
Well, I assure you, ma'am,
169
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,611
had it not been for Francis's
long history of crying wolf...
170
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,145
Crying wolf?
171
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,581
You listen to me, you idiot!
172
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,382
My child is sick.
173
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,918
He does not need you
marching in here, puffing up
174
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,320
your little chest
and making his life
175
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,490
more miserable
than it already is.
176
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,424
Why don't you just go play
army man somewhere else?
177
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:15,368
God, she is magnificent.
178
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,841
Dude, your mom rocks.
179
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,515
(sighs)
180
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,483
(whimpers)
181
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,193
Hmm.
182
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,301
(sighs)
183
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,306
MAN (over TV):
You got a girl, Rizzo?
184
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,808
RIZZO: Yeah, Sarge.
I miss her something awful.
185
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,510
Soon as I get home,
I'm going to marry her.
186
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,611
(gunfire, Rizzo grunts)
187
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,547
MAN:
Rizzo!
188
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,554
We need...
more torque!
189
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,456
No, we need a balance
between speed and torque.
190
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,958
This is great.
191
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,226
I can make a huge mess,
build a killer robot,
192
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,128
and Mom's not here
to yell at us.
193
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,297
I don't even mind
having Krelboynes in the house.
194
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,666
Do we all want
195
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,367
a direct, continuous
linear relation
196
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,802
between the rotary actuator
197
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,871
and the robot's
translational displacement,
198
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,006
or am I just some kind
of crazy dreamer?
199
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,575
Well, what about my design for
200
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,010
the polycarbonate body?
STEVIE: It's a...
201
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,144
butterfly.
202
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,981
Correction--
killer butterfly.
203
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,515
Beautiful yet deadly.
204
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,518
The perfect killing machine.
205
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,153
It's too unreliable.
206
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,922
It's got to be more simple,
like a sledgehammer or...
207
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,490
A superheated spike shot
out by power charges.
208
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,892
Yeah, but that's not
going to be easy...
209
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,927
What's this stuff?
(boys gasp)
210
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,898
We were just... sort of...
fooling around with some ideas.
211
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,966
Let's have a look.
212
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,236
Well... I'd go
with the flame thrower.
213
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,106
That would destroy everything
within a ten-foot perimeter.
214
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:03,176
Of course, a lot to be said
for that high-voltage probe.
215
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,780
Sir, before you continue,
I feel I have to mention
216
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,482
that our parents
strongly disapprove of this.
217
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,254
Sorry. My therapist
says it's a compulsion.
218
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,657
Well, I guess you shouldn't
tell your parents, then.
219
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,762
Wow.
220
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,097
Your father's lack
of responsibility
221
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,399
is both terrifying and...
222
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,168
oddly thrilling.
223
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,642
(humming)
224
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,477
I can't apologize enough for
these barbaric accommodations.
225
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,579
You deserve so much more.
226
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,214
Oh, no, this is fine.
227
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,416
Why are all the hotel rooms
booked?
228
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:46,386
The all-Alabama gay rodeo
is in town again.
229
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,789
Homosexuals riding horses
and such.
230
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,158
It does wonders
for the local economy,
231
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,628
but you have to fight
the crowds for everything.
232
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:57,464
If you're interested,
I have some passes.
233
00:09:57,497 --> 00:10:00,100
No, thanks.
Another time, then.
234
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,472
Bonsoir.
235
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,944
You know, this
room isn't so bad.
236
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,947
The way you whined about it,
I thought it was going to be
237
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,416
a couple of cots
and a drain in the floor.
238
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,118
What are you doing?
You're stinky.
239
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,519
I'm going to give you
a sponge bath.
240
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,321
You're not
giving me a sponge bath.
241
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,490
Arms up.
(groans)
242
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,459
Just because you had surgery
is no reason to be a pig.
243
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,595
Mom, did you know
that I almost died?
244
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,197
Oh, you did not
almost die.
245
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,165
My appendix burst!
246
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,835
They had to vacuum out
the contents of my intestines.
247
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,670
You could not possibly
comprehend
248
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,806
the pain that I was in--
that I am in.
249
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:41,308
Yeah. I don't know
anything about pain,
250
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,711
what, with four boys
totaling 112 hours of labor--
251
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,946
you being half of
that, I might add.
252
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,548
I'm sorry that I came out
feet first, Mom.
253
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,717
That's okay, honey.
254
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,518
I forgave you years ago.
255
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,187
Oh, God, that tattoo.
256
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,655
I like the tattoo, Mom.
257
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,025
What is it with the men in
this family and tattoos?
258
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,292
(grunts)
259
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,194
Took me five years
to get your father
260
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,629
to burn his off.
261
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,998
What, are you growing
potatoes in there?
262
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,366
Dad had a tattoo?
263
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,368
Yeah, he put a
great big "Lois"
264
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,037
right across
his rear end.
265
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,572
Actually thought I'd
be flattered by it.
266
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,308
That guy was such a
mess when I met him.
267
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,744
Between the motorcycle
268
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:19,046
and the drinking
and the fighting--
269
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,314
he was so reckless,
it was crazy.
270
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,150
Where do you think
you boys get it from?
271
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,918
Just doesn't sound like Dad.
272
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,020
Yeah, well, that was
a long time ago.
273
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,222
Your father has been
quite a project.
274
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:32,359
I spent years hounding him
and scolding him
275
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,661
and constantly watching him,
276
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,163
but finally
277
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,399
I got all that rebellion
right out of him.
278
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,368
I can't believe
Dad had a wild side.
279
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,771
Well, someday, you're going
to meet a nice girl.
280
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,839
She's going to do
the same thing for you.
281
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,808
Do your lowers.
282
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,644
(line ringing)
283
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,502
Dad?
284
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:17,470
Oh, hey, son.
285
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,272
What are you doing?
I just thought
286
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,141
I'd help you kids out
with your robot.
287
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,443
You know, it's amazing how
much you can get accomplished
288
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,978
when you don't sleep at all.
289
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,447
I think we got a little
something up our sleeve
290
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,816
for the competition.
291
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,683
(saw buzzing)
292
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,427
Dad...
293
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,929
I know, it's still
a little slow.
294
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,697
But wait till I put
on the big blade.
295
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,839
MAN (over TV): I eat your heart
and thus avenge my father.
296
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,007
(punches and kicks landing,
men grunting)
297
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:57,110
Well, we just finished
the 45th and final video
298
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,846
of the Shaolin Dragon series.
299
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:02,049
We are now officially
desensitized to violence.
300
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,853
How many sodas
have you had?
301
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,856
I don't know. I don't
know. I don't know.
302
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,492
Look, I can write
on my tongue.
303
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,294
Well, we can start in on
Monks of Death
304
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,330
or lighten things up with
a little Samurai Bloodfest.
305
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,731
(knocking on door)
306
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,602
We've had a vote.
307
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,637
We're backing out
of the contest.
308
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,039
What?
309
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,607
Your father
has commandeered this project
310
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,943
and twisted it toward
his own mad ends.
311
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,045
We want our
blueprints back.
312
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:35,515
We can... do this...
313
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,719
the easy... way...
314
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:43,023
or... we can...
315
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,358
do this... the hard...
316
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,360
Come on, my dad's
in the backyard.
317
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,930
...way.
318
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,970
(humming quietly)
319
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,138
Dad?
320
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,339
Hey, boys.
321
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,173
Guys want the...
322
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,808
Are you smoking?
323
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,676
Oh, this? No, I'm just...
324
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,245
just playing around.
325
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,880
Listen, don't tell your mom,
okay?
326
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,548
She'd kill me if she found out.
327
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,450
She worked so hard
to get me to stop.
328
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,421
Oh, God, how I
miss that woman.
329
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,924
Um, the guys want
their blueprints back.
330
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,059
Oh, yeah,
they're over there.
331
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,094
I have gone
way past that.
332
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,996
Hey, picture this.
333
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,665
A laser-guided bee cannon.
334
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,168
Bees shot out
with the precision of a laser.
335
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,736
How would that hurt a robot?
336
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,438
Oh, come on, think.
337
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,940
It's not for the robot,
338
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,208
it's for the guy
controlling the robot.
339
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,944
(laughs)
340
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,045
Buzz, zap!
341
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,046
You're going home
342
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,281
with the plaque or ribbon
343
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,750
or whatever crappy award
they give you for winning.
344
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,186
This...
345
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:50,290
will end... badly.
346
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,960
HAL:
There we go.
347
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,598
(dogs howling in distance)
348
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,767
(howls)
349
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,604
(howls)
350
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,573
I hear you, old fella!
351
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:07,941
(chuckles)
352
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,110
You're not alone.
353
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,545
(howls)
354
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,947
LOIS: Come on, come on,
do it for mama!
355
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,649
Come on, come on, go!
(cheering)
356
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,718
Aw, come on. You're just
letting me win, aren't you?
357
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:19,953
I'm really not.
358
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,454
I know. I'm just rubbing it in.
359
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,922
(laughs loudly)
360
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,059
Rubbing it in!
361
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,595
Your mom is great.
362
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,163
This isn't my mom.
363
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,965
It's an act.
364
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,968
It's some kind of freaky mind
game she's playing with me.
365
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,104
Any second now,
her face is going to split open
366
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,405
and she's going
to reveal herself
367
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,608
for the evil banshee
she really is.
368
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,612
Man, I don't know why
she puts up with you.
369
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,614
Anyone for doubles?
370
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,748
Nope.
371
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,183
All right, then.
372
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,855
Oh, hi, honey.
Where you been?
373
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:56,990
I want you to leave.
374
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,091
What?
375
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,592
I want you to leave.
376
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,860
You made your phony point.
377
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,429
You made me look like an idiot.
378
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,963
Mission accomplished.
Okay.
379
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,099
You know what? I have
had it with you, mister.
380
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,002
You have done nothing but bitch
and moan since I got here,
381
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,138
and I've been nothing
but pleasant.
Exactly!
382
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,605
Oh, what, you complain
when I'm pleasant,
383
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,673
you complain when
I'm not pleasant?
384
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,674
There's no winning with you.
385
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,975
Why don't you just tell me
386
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,777
exactly how you
want me to behave
387
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,612
every second of the day, and
we'll see if that satisfies you.
388
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,848
This isn't fair!
You're taking my pain
389
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,017
and you're twisting it
into your guilt trip!
390
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,486
Fine. Why don't I
just leave, then?
391
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,421
Fine.
Fine.
392
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,326
(funky dance music playing)
393
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,730
Mom being gone was fun at first,
394
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,333
but this is getting
out of control.
395
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,503
(humming along)
396
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,138
(phone ringing)
397
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,406
Please be Mom.
398
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,007
Please be Mom. Please be Mom.
399
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,710
Hello?
Hello!
400
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,679
Oh. Hi, Mr. Jackson.
401
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,147
Well, yes,
402
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,415
I do have a very good reason
403
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,849
for not going in to work today.
404
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,985
Well, how about this?
405
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,753
I didn't come to work because
406
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:05,525
somehow I felt that eight hours
of joyless, mind-numbing crap
407
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,426
just didn't seem like fun.
408
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,131
Well, I guess we're just going
to have to agree to disagree.
409
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,103
(chuckles)
410
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,503
REESE: Yeah!
(whoops)
411
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,705
(groans)
412
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,616
I thought your flight
wasn't till 11:00.
413
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,518
It isn't.
414
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,686
So we have some
extra time.
415
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,089
You want to...
do something?
416
00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:38,258
We're in the middle
of Alabama.
417
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,260
What is there to do?
418
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,861
Gay rodeo's in town.
419
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,530
That could be
interesting.
420
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,898
Well, if that's
what you want to do.
421
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,634
Look, it isn't really
what I want to do.
422
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,968
I'm trying to
be pleasant...
423
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,003
We'll go.
424
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,072
(knocking)
425
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,073
Please be Mom.
426
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,375
Craig.
427
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,943
Just brought by
your mom's paycheck.
428
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,745
Tell her I'm the one
that brought it by.
429
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,647
Wait. We need your help.
430
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,116
My dad's going crazy.
He hasn't slept in four days.
431
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,485
He's smoking, he's dancing
around in his underwear.
432
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,720
He's ripping phones
out of the walls.
433
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,123
You've got to stop him.
434
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,558
Don't worry, son.
435
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,193
I'll handle this.
436
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,763
What are you doing?
437
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,097
You don't expect me to tackle
438
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,033
something like this
on an empty stomach.
439
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,904
Hey, buddy.
440
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,174
Well, well.
441
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,841
What do we have here?
442
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,943
The boy here says you
could use some company.
443
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,846
No, I got my sons.
We're bonding.
444
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:35,782
(remote beeps)
445
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,484
(gears whirring)
446
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,652
What the hell
is that thing?
447
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,154
That thing is
a little project
448
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,789
we have been working on
around here.
449
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:46,193
A secret, deadly project.
450
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,860
Hal...
451
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,963
why don't you turn off
the machine and sit down?
452
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:55,134
Why don't you stop telling me
what to do?
453
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:59,639
Why don't you sit down
like I asked you to?
454
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,211
Look, Fats...
455
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,679
I don't want you
around my house anymore.
456
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,048
Hey, you don't go
to the fat thing,
457
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,083
I won't go to the crazy thing.
458
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,621
Dad, cut it out!
Come on, it's not
funny anymore!
459
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,555
Leave him alone!
460
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,390
Say "uncle"!
No!
461
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,558
Just say it.
462
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,026
We can stop this right now
463
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,295
with a little dignity
if you just say it!
464
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,463
I won't say it!
465
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,632
One simple word.
466
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,166
Duncle.
467
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,536
Uh-uh, you said "duncle."
468
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,071
Now you have to say "uncle"
in my butt.
469
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,373
No! Let me up!
470
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,874
Dad, you have to stop it!
Dad, no!
471
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,376
You're right.
472
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,246
I've got better
things to do.
473
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,747
MALCOLM:
Dad, what are you doing?
474
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,649
I think me
and Lois Number Two here
475
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,351
are going to go down to work
476
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,019
and pay a little visit
to Mr. Jackson's Lexus.
477
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,855
Hey!
478
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,056
Dad, don't move.
479
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,058
(whirring)
W-What are you doing?
480
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,227
I'm stopping you
from quitting your job
481
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,229
by threatening you
with a killer robot.
482
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,098
I wish this felt half
as cool as it sounds.
483
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,368
Just turn it off, Malcolm.
484
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,702
Stop being crazy.
485
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,372
Just put the remote down.
486
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:10,343
You-you have no idea
what this machine is capable of.
487
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,778
Why don't you just sit down?
488
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,581
And why don't you just
put the remote down?
489
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,015
Dad, please.
490
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,917
Malcolm...
491
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,123
Why don't you both
just shut up?!
492
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,159
(remote beeps)
493
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,968
Run. No kidding. Run.
494
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,041
Oh, no.
495
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,976
(Hal whimpering)
496
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,978
(bees buzzing)
497
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,326
(whimpering)
498
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:06,499
(muffled):
Call... animal... control.
499
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:08,735
You ripped the phone
out of the wall.
500
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:14,407
Go... to... the neighbor.
501
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,409
They won't let us over anymore.
502
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:20,647
Do... something.
503
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,148
Why don't we just
all sit down
504
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:25,485
and no one will do anything
until Mom gets home?
505
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,020
Okay.
506
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,597
(crowd cheering)
507
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,166
I got to say,
as far as gay rodeos go,
508
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,701
this one's pretty entertaining.
509
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,370
Are you sure you're
not embarrassed
510
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,204
to be seen with
your mother?
511
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,773
Nah.
512
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:54,847
(crowd cheering)
33485
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Welsh
Wolof