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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,304
This isn't fair.
Yes, it is.
2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,338
It's absolutely fair.
3
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:05,806
I'm getting hungry.
4
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,041
We're doing it my way.
5
00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,309
They're getting cold.
6
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,078
You want them
divided up fairly or not?
7
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,080
You have more than me.
No, I don't.
8
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,148
We all have 29 inches
of fries so far.
9
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,417
I have two four-inchers,
five three-inchers
10
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,751
and three two-inchers.
11
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,688
You have five five-inchers
and a four-incher.
12
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,256
They're exactly the same.
13
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,558
Dewey!
14
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,227
Okay, we're going to assume
15
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,929
this was a four-incher
from the share pile.
16
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,098
117 minus three,
17
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,900
times 29, divided by three,
minus...
18
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,136
We each take a two-inch bite
out of this one.
19
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,739
Last week, we
had curly fries.
20
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,874
It took us
three hours.
21
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,412
* Yes, no, maybe
22
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,947
* I don't know
23
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,284
* Can you repeat the question?
24
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,553
* You're not the boss
of me now *
25
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,955
* You're not
the boss of me now *
26
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,358
* You're not the boss
of me now *
27
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,393
* And you're not so big
28
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,895
* You're not the boss
of me now *
29
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,897
* You're not
the boss of me now *
30
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,400
* You're not the boss
of me now *
31
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,203
* And you're not so big
32
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,606
* Life is unfair.
33
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,578
BOY:
Good job, Don!
34
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,752
(boys shouting, Malcolm panting)
35
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,255
BOY:
Center it!
36
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,961
Aw, man.
37
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:34,995
He's wide open!
38
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,764
Shoot, shoot!
There it is!
39
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,369
In your... face.
40
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,438
(panting)
41
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:49,210
BOY:
I got it, I got it!
42
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,783
Car!
43
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,430
Good... game.
44
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,132
This... sucks.
45
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,202
You... mocking me?
46
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,870
No... tired.
47
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,540
Get... skates.
48
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,774
Can't.
49
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,510
Dad.
50
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:26,314
My dad was some kind
of skating champion
51
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,881
a long time ago.
52
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,650
He made a rule--
no one in the family
53
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,186
could buy skates until after
they take lessons from him.
54
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,522
So take... the lessons.
55
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,190
You don't get it.
56
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,559
My dad's, like, a total
fanatic about skating.
57
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,294
He doesn't even
call it skating.
58
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,462
He calls it...
59
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,030
"The Brotherhood
of the Wheel."
60
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,465
He taught Francis
and Reese,
61
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,467
and they've never
been the same after.
62
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,735
Gretzky shoots!
63
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,169
He scores!
64
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,739
He laughs
at the other Canadians!
65
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,674
Hey, Reese, remember
when Dad taught you
66
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:54,742
how to skate?
67
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,410
I don't want to talk about it.
68
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,013
Why can't you just tell me
what it was like?
69
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,649
One, I'm not
supposed to,
70
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,084
and two, I don't even like
to think about it.
71
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,419
It makes me cry.
72
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,654
Hey, hey, hey!
73
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,422
What's wrong with you?
74
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,858
You know you're not supposed
to skate in the house.
75
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,494
Why? Everyone else
in the world gets to.
76
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,163
Wait a minute.
Somebody stepped in something.
77
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,899
Oh, my God.
78
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,836
Oh, my God! What a mess!
79
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,171
Reese...
80
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,607
what did you roll in?
81
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,309
Oh, man.
82
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,481
(groaning, panting)
83
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,386
You have to admit,
it is kind of funny--
84
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,822
yelling so loud you actually
throw out your back.
85
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,527
Just try to relax.
86
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,229
Got the baby monitor
all set up here.
87
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:52,266
Now, if you need
anything, just holler--
88
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,767
but not too loud--
89
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,270
and I will get on it.
90
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,306
(shrieks)
91
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,308
Oh, God.
92
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,209
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh, God.
93
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,578
Lois, why don't you just take
the pain medicine
94
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:05,613
the doctor gave you?
95
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,281
Because they make me loopy.
96
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,550
I will not have this house
come crashing down around me
97
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,485
because I'm hopped up
on goofballs.
98
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:14,221
Mom, I'm really sorry.
99
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,423
Are you okay?
100
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,858
Oh, Reese, come to mama.
101
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,661
Closer, sweetheart.
102
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,831
Are you happy
you crippled your mother?
103
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:24,832
Mom...
104
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,899
Are you?
105
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,601
Mom. Mom. Ow!
106
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,505
Survival weekend?
107
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,173
What does that mean?
108
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,442
That means we
get to spend
109
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,143
two whole days out
in the wilderness
110
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,911
with limited supplies
and no food.
111
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:38,946
You're kidding, right?
112
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,681
No.
113
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,250
It's an excellent way to learn
basic survival techniques.
114
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,018
It's two days in the woods.
115
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,087
Our parents are paying
for room and board.
116
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,356
Where does that money go?
117
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,490
Sounds like a big scam.
118
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,526
Maybe so, but you're doing it.
119
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,361
What?
120
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,628
Francis, I let you
121
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,163
blow off a lot of things
around here,
122
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,865
but this is something
I believe in.
123
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,099
It's a character builder.
124
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,601
I think it'll be good for you.
125
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,936
How could it be good for me?
126
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,605
No food, no shelter.
127
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,006
No broken clavicles.
128
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,742
That's something
inside me, right?
129
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,454
LOIS:
What are you doing?!
130
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,622
Nothing.
131
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,724
Get a glass.
132
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:25,993
Don't you dare!
133
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,194
When I get well, I am going
134
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,562
to beat you blue, mister.
135
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,797
Get a glass!
136
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,064
All right. Okay.
137
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,635
Can I have some milk?
138
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,336
Yes, but get a glass.
139
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,805
Okay.
140
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,039
Hello, Francis.
141
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,040
I have a problem.
142
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,509
I need your advice.
143
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,511
Trust me, pal, whatever
you're going through
144
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,312
is not half as bad
as what I'm facing.
145
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,415
I'm thinking of asking Dad
for skating lessons.
146
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,382
(inhales sharply)
147
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,717
Why does everyone do that?
148
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,318
What does he do?
149
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,554
Look, if I told you,
you'd just freak out,
150
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,255
but if you think you're ready,
151
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,658
my advice is
to get it over with quickly.
152
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,594
It's like pulling a giant
Band-Aid off your crotch.
153
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,563
I'm going to have a Band-Aid
on my crotch?
154
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,764
Who are you
talking to?
155
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,065
Francis.
156
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,336
Hi, sweetie.
157
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,772
Hi, Mom.
Oh, I am in such pain
because of my back.
158
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,041
Doctor says I have to stay
in bed for at least three days
Mom...
159
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,576
with my leg up on a pillow
160
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,077
and then I'm supposed
to put ice on it.
161
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,345
Ice, not heat.
Look, Mom.
162
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,947
Have you ever heard
of such a thing?
163
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,515
I never heard of such a thing.
164
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,551
That doesn't make
any sense to me.
165
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,034
Oh, thanks, honey.
166
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,069
Here we go.
167
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,136
One more thing.
Huh?
168
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,104
Yeah?
169
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,040
Stop trying to drug my food.
170
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,242
Oh.
171
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,478
Where was I?
172
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,579
Francis?
173
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,713
Where wa...?
174
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,881
Uh, your back.
175
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:54,815
Oh, yeah.
176
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,983
So they say that my fourth
177
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,785
and fifth vertebrae
are out of alignment.
178
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,119
Apparently my shoulder muscles
are asymmetrical.
179
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,888
I mean, did you ever hear
of such a thing?
180
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,389
They say it's genetic.
181
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,557
It's the first case
of scream-induced
182
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,158
back trauma they've ever seen.
183
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,594
I swear, they paraded
every Tom, Dick and Harry
184
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,928
through that room
to take a look at me.
185
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,329
And me, I'm just lying there
186
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,064
with that little flimsy
paper thing on me
187
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,901
with my rear end flapping in the
breeze for all the world to see.
188
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,402
HAL:
Boys, they're called...
189
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,770
Gut-busters.
190
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,773
They take a sausage,
stuff it with cheese,
191
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,108
wrap it with bacon,
192
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,744
and shove it in
a deep-fat fryer
193
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,012
full of lard.
194
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,413
They're indescribable.
195
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,615
Bon appetit.
196
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,952
Malcolm, where
have you been?
197
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,186
You got to get
in on this.
198
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,388
Dad... I want skating lessons.
199
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,662
Son, do you know,
once you start
200
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,631
there's no going back?
201
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,533
I know.
202
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,668
This means
total commitment.
203
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,603
Once you begin the path,
204
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,872
there is no
leaving the path.
205
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,608
Are you sure you're
ready for that?
206
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,343
I mean really ready?
207
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,046
I-I guess so.
208
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,047
Neat.
209
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,782
We'll start tomorrow.
210
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,518
Come on, dig in
before they harden.
211
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,497
Let's do it.
212
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,700
Stretch.
213
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,969
Nose to knees,
nose to knees,
214
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,303
and... release.
215
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,738
Ooh.
216
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,339
You feeling a
little limber now?
217
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,741
Mostly I feel sleepy.
218
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,409
Well, we have
to start early.
219
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,511
We've got a lot of
ground to cover.
220
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,712
Rule number one:
221
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,682
you can't question my ways.
222
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,383
I'm the top skate-dog.
223
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,851
Understood?
224
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,554
You may not like my methods,
225
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,090
but let me just show you
what you can accomplish
226
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,524
if you stick with it.
227
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,061
(sniffs)
228
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,529
(blows air)
229
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,738
(disco music playing)
230
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,877
Should I be impressed
or horrified?
231
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,080
Dad, that was unbelievable.
232
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,651
Whew! That routine won me a gold
medal, a macramé plant hanger,
233
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,654
and your mother's heart,
all in the same afternoon.
234
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,155
What to see your skates?
235
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,122
Yeah.
236
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,257
Come on.
237
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,059
I prefer
a Saratoga four-wide,
238
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,927
but I know
you kids like that
239
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,395
in-line stuff.
240
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,463
So...
241
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,833
Whoa! They're beautiful!
242
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,669
They are, aren't they?
243
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:05,673
Wait, I don't get to wear them?
244
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:09,109
Oh, no... you're not ready
for those just yet.
245
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,478
That's just your incentive.
246
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,114
One step
at a time, Malcolm.
247
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,750
Roll to the gold. Huh?
248
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,786
You're going to start
with these.
249
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,790
Why do I have to...
Ah-ah-ah.
250
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,257
Top skate-dog.
251
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,960
Now, let's see you skate
through those cones.
252
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,798
I don't have skates.
253
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:34,968
Your skates are in here.
254
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,137
Go on.
255
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,173
HAL:
Glide... and glide...
256
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,110
let your arms work with--
slow down.
257
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,079
Slower.
Slower!
258
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,615
This is going to rule.
259
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,650
All I'm taking is a canteen,
260
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,121
a knife, my bedroll
and some emergency rations.
261
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,122
Wuss.
262
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,491
Canteen, knife,
survival blanket.
263
00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,960
That's all?
264
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,262
Dude, hard-core.
265
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,671
Let's rock.
266
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,577
You ready?
Ready as I'll ever be.
267
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,419
(screams)
268
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,922
What is it?
269
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:29,990
My back.
270
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:30,991
I can't move.
271
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,592
It happens sometimes.
272
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,593
It's genetic.
273
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,263
My shoulder muscles
are asymmetrical,
274
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,532
and it pulls my vertebrae
out of alignment.
275
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,502
I'll be fine.
276
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,172
I just need to ice it.
277
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,174
Which vertebrae?
278
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,742
Fourth and fifth.
279
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,877
All right.
280
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,879
Take him to his room.
281
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,049
HAL: Hands out front
so you get a balance.
282
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,417
Hold it... hold it.
283
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,886
Why am I doing this?
284
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,687
Stop clouding your mind.
285
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,055
This is a process.
286
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:06,026
Dad, it's street hockey,
not clown school.
287
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,130
Process... and one
and down and over.
288
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,732
When am I ever
going to use this?
289
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,201
Full range of motion,
290
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,904
and point and bump,
and point and bump,
291
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,305
and point and bump,
292
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,639
and then we glide.
293
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:21,942
How about my skates?
294
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,710
Can I at least
try on my skates?
295
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,644
Absolutely not.
296
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,146
You need at least
two more days.
297
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,214
Two days?
298
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,215
Uh-huh.
299
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,216
I know enough
300
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,784
to play a stupid game
of street hockey now.
301
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,885
That's all I care about.
302
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,420
Malcolm, we go at
the speed I say.
303
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,823
This is about safety
and proper technique.
304
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,390
But it doesn't
make any sense.
305
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,893
That's because you're not
in a skating state of mind.
306
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:40,828
Now, that's it. Okay?
307
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,829
We're done. Go home.
308
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,130
You know what?
309
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,332
Thanks to your attitude,
310
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,734
we are now a day behind.
311
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,002
Fine!
312
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,609
The boy's fighting me, Lois.
313
00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:01,014
Oh, he's got the talent,
but he's reckless and wild.
314
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,916
Fine. I'll
talk to him.
315
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,317
That's not what I'm asking.
316
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,986
Well, that's what
going to ha...
317
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:06,987
(groans in pain)
318
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,190
Would you just take
the darn pill... dear?
319
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,292
I can't believe
he cut me off.
320
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,927
You questioned his ways.
321
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,662
Never question his ways.
322
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,364
That just makes it
take even longer.
323
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,299
You going to go
play hockey?
You bet.
324
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,868
I'll see you out there...
325
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,169
in a month or two.
326
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,650
I don't know how yet,
327
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,787
but there's definitely a way
I can justify this.
328
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,056
Malcolm!
329
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,391
Dang, I thought
I'd at least
330
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,493
get a few minutes in
before he busted me.
331
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:47,660
You know what?
Screw it.
332
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,695
I'm sick of this.
333
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,197
What do you think
you're doing?
334
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,065
Taking my skates
to go play hockey.
335
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,201
Absolutely not;
we had an agreement.
336
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,202
Agreement?
337
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,337
You just like
bossing me around!
338
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,406
And you like fighting me
every step of the way!
339
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,374
Because you're treating
me like a baby!
340
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,376
The stuff you're
teaching me is stupid.
341
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,577
Okay, that's it.
342
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,479
You just lost these, pal.
343
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,380
Oh, yeah? Well...
344
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,381
(squealing)
345
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,049
(screeching)
346
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:09,917
(feedback)
347
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:10,717
...you.
348
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,954
You heard me.
349
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,229
WOMAN (over television):
Modeling isn't all glamour.
350
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:26,033
Sometimes you have to act like
it's hot when it's really cold.
351
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,601
People don't realize
how hard we work...
352
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:34,174
I am the only one who truly
understands you, Inga.
353
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,509
I cannot believe
you said that to Dad.
354
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,877
Oh, and by the way--
355
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,779
if you pass Francis
on your way to Siberia,
356
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,114
tell him I said hi.
357
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,782
Do you think he told Mom?
358
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,617
I wouldn't worry
about that.
359
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,353
Mom's feeling a lot better.
360
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,455
Dr. Reese paid her
a little visit.
361
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,423
What are you talking about?
362
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:54,861
Let's just say, pills
and sandwich-- not effective;
363
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,397
pills and milk-- effective.
364
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,632
I just, I just
don't get it.
365
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,269
I mean, I have always been
the good parent.
366
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,971
(laughing)
367
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,305
That's true.
368
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,473
I'm the nice one.
369
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:07,607
Yeah, that's true.
370
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,608
You're the bad one.
371
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,410
The system can't work
with two bad cops.
372
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,611
Oh, I hate cops.
373
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,612
Cops, eh...
374
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,646
You know what else
I hate?
375
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,548
Those what-do-you-
call-thems? Those, uh...
376
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,218
I just wasn't ready
for this from Malcolm.
...soap salesmen.
377
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,786
Not yet. But he stepped
over the line
378
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,421
and I don't think
there's any way back.
379
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,389
I mean, it's not as if
380
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,890
I caught him with a cigarette
381
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,725
and can make him smoke
a whole carton.
382
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,494
You know what?
I hate bigots, too.
383
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,561
Oh, I hate bigots.
384
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,330
Malcolm has always
been different.
385
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,499
God, why can't he be
like his brothers?
386
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,934
Reese took a swing at me,
Francis took a swing at me--
387
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,503
that I can deal with.
388
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,905
Block, chop, they're on
the ground gasping for air.
389
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,839
It's over with.
390
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,941
But this is like... words.
391
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,744
I mean, you know what
I hate the most of all?
392
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,547
I hate those gigantic
pink...
393
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,785
Oh, thank God.
394
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,956
*
395
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,257
*
396
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,671
Smoking!
397
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,146
(imitating radio static)
398
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847
Uh, Houston, we are good to go.
399
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:55,982
(imitating static)
400
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,250
Uh, roger that.
401
00:16:57,284 --> 00:17:00,653
You are good to go
in five, four, three, two, one.
402
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,222
Go!
403
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,723
Whoo!
404
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,896
Hey... fellas!
405
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:12,031
Boy, has it been
two days already?
406
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,532
How was it, huh?
407
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,935
You just missed the big fire.
408
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,440
But, um, luckily I was here
to put it out.
409
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:24,611
Can I offer you
some cookie dough?
410
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,247
Come on, guys,
let's be reasonable.
411
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,118
I can't spend two days
in the woods tied to a chair.
412
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:34,087
Three days--
one extra for lying.
413
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,524
Well, at least lend me a jacket!
Or some food!
414
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,925
Dudes, come on!
415
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,228
You can't leave me out here
with nothing!
416
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:46,166
That was to me,
not at me, right?!
417
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:49,936
Hal.
418
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:50,937
(gasping)
419
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,272
Honey, what are you
doing up?
420
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,773
Don't you "honey" me.
421
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,275
You slipped me drugs.
422
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,409
Oh!
423
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,245
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,
424
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,547
getting Reese to sandbag me
like that.
425
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,749
"Would you like some milk,
Mother?"
426
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:06,253
The kid's never brought me
one thing in his entire life.
427
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,288
And don't think I can't
smell those Gut-busters
428
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,989
coming out of your pores.
429
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,459
You are back on rice cakes,
mister,
430
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,626
starting now!
431
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,763
Boys, your mother's mobile.
432
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,101
Malcolm, I need to see you
in the backyard.
433
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:26,739
Now, you said what you said,
and we can't change that.
434
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,909
And it isn't the kind of
thing that could be solved
435
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,578
with an apology or
a simple punishment.
436
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,582
But we do need to find a way
to get past this. Agreed?
437
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,584
I guess so.
438
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,187
Good. Now, here's
how I see it:
439
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,423
this whole thing stems
from you feeling like
440
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,292
I treat you like a child.
441
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,594
So...
442
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,095
what's this?
443
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,998
That is ten pages,
single-spaced,
444
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,268
of filthy name calling.
445
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,803
What?!
446
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,638
They get worse
as they go along.
447
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,474
What am I supposed to do
with this?
448
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,276
Well, since you think
you're old enough
449
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,477
to use these kind of words,
450
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,013
I think you're old enough
to see the effect they have.
451
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,549
Malcolm, you are going
to look me in the eye
452
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,519
and say every last one
of these terrible things
453
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,654
to the man who held
you in his arms
454
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,289
the moment you were born.
455
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,324
But, Dad...
456
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,026
Uh-uh, I'm not your dad;
I'm, uh, here...
457
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,361
(tapping on page)
458
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,366
A stinkin' son of a...
459
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,235
To my face.
460
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,702
Continue.
461
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,404
*
462
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,882
I can't.
463
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,318
You see, son? Words hurt.
464
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:48,020
That's why you have
to use them carefully.
465
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,522
I understand, Dad.
466
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,258
I'm sorry.
467
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:54,861
Okay. I think you've
had enough.
468
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,697
No, wait. I can make it
through the whole list.
469
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,899
I'm not going to let
you down again.
470
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,103
*
471
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,583
Hole.
472
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,217
Good.
473
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,253
Very thorough.
474
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:24,557
Dad, will you please finish
teaching me how to skate?
475
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,259
Of course.
476
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:29,729
But let's not make eye contact
for a couple weeks.
477
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,432
You got it.
478
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,601
(boys shouting indistinctly)
479
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,903
(Malcolm panting)
480
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,546
Aw, man.
481
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,914
Come on.
482
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,450
(boys shouting indistinctly)
483
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,754
(disco music playing)
484
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,285
(grunts)
485
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,642
I know I look like an idiot,
but I'm kickin' ass!
30153
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