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1
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,659
[drill buzzing]
2
00:00:04,694 --> 00:00:06,696
DEWEY:
I hate my brothers.
3
00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,353
I only like me.
4
00:00:08,387 --> 00:00:10,424
I hate my brothers.
5
00:00:10,458 --> 00:00:12,426
I only like me.
6
00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:14,221
I hate my brothers.
7
00:00:14,255 --> 00:00:15,532
I only like me.
8
00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:17,017
[boys yelling]
9
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,880
Stop it right now!
I mean it!
10
00:00:18,915 --> 00:00:20,192
[yelling continues]
11
00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:21,849
When are you going to be done?
12
00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:23,540
Soon as I can, honey.
13
00:00:23,575 --> 00:00:25,542
I said, stop it!
14
00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:27,544
DEWEY:
I hate my brothers.
15
00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:29,408
I only like me.
16
00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:31,203
I hate my brothers.
17
00:00:31,238 --> 00:00:33,205
I only like me.
18
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,379
[drill whirring]
19
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:37,692
[whirring stops]
20
00:00:37,727 --> 00:00:39,522
"Five across.
21
00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:42,525
My mother the... blank."
22
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:46,080
♪ Yes, no, maybe
23
00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:48,634
♪ I don't know
24
00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:51,879
♪ Can you repeat the question?
25
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:54,088
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
26
00:00:54,123 --> 00:00:56,297
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
27
00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:58,092
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
28
00:00:58,127 --> 00:01:01,130
♪ And you're not so big
29
00:01:01,164 --> 00:01:03,477
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
30
00:01:03,511 --> 00:01:05,479
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
31
00:01:05,513 --> 00:01:06,928
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
32
00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:10,898
♪ And you're not so big
33
00:01:10,932 --> 00:01:14,419
♪ Life is unfair.
34
00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:19,976
I know a lot of kids
say they like school,
35
00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:22,772
but honestly,
I just find it exhausting.
36
00:01:22,806 --> 00:01:27,017
I mean, when I am in school,
I'm either bored, terrified...
37
00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:30,124
...or confused
about Julie Houlerman.
38
00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:31,781
Hi, Malcolm.
39
00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:32,816
Perfect example.
40
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,404
What does she mean by that?
41
00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:35,647
Is it just "hi"?
42
00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,718
Is she trying to say
she likes me?
43
00:01:37,752 --> 00:01:39,271
Is she just being nice?
44
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:41,653
And now I have to figure out
a secret way to answer her
45
00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:43,310
without A]
acting like I like her,
46
00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:45,208
or B]
acting like I don't like her,
47
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:49,143
or C] acting like
I've never thought about A or B.
48
00:01:49,178 --> 00:01:51,283
Just be pleasant
but noncommittal.
49
00:01:51,318 --> 00:01:52,422
Hey, Jul...
50
00:01:55,391 --> 00:01:58,428
She's doing this to me
on purpose.
51
00:02:01,397 --> 00:02:03,019
[girls squealing]
52
00:02:03,053 --> 00:02:04,745
Hey, how are you?
53
00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:07,161
[girls laughing]
54
00:02:07,196 --> 00:02:08,818
Stanley, you are incredible.
55
00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:12,028
I thought Malcolm was a genius,
but this is off the charts.
56
00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:13,823
The school asked
for an honor guard.
57
00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:16,377
I figured you'd like a few
weeks without drill practice.
58
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:17,758
A pageant, though.
59
00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:20,554
Beautiful girls
with self-esteem issues.
60
00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:23,143
It's perfect.
61
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,180
Easy. Let's start with
the obvious runners-up.
62
00:02:26,215 --> 00:02:28,596
They're going to be
the neediest.
63
00:02:31,806 --> 00:02:34,775
You know, uh, this
is a little intense.
64
00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:38,675
You, me, working
this shelf... together.
65
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,021
[chuckles nervously]
66
00:02:40,056 --> 00:02:43,024
What's intense about it?
67
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:44,405
I guess nothing.
68
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,717
Excuse me.
69
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:49,445
Mom!
70
00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:51,240
You're not supposed
to yell in the store.
71
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,242
Not supposed
to do that either.
72
00:02:53,276 --> 00:02:54,622
Life's funny that way.
73
00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:58,730
Hey... the Three Musketeers.
74
00:02:58,764 --> 00:03:00,214
Athos, Aramis...
75
00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:02,216
and you must be Porthos.
76
00:03:02,251 --> 00:03:03,804
You're creepy.
77
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:06,634
You really shouldn't say
hurtful things to grown-ups.
78
00:03:06,669 --> 00:03:08,049
I'm sorry.
79
00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:10,120
That's okay.
We're still friends.
80
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:11,398
[chuckles]Craig...
81
00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:13,054
you have got to redo
the nail polish.
82
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:15,229
The crystal pinks are mixed
with the frosty pinks
83
00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:16,782
are mixed with
the God knows what.
84
00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:19,164
Right away, Mr. Pinter.
85
00:03:30,279 --> 00:03:32,384
Okay. I'm off work
in five minutes.
86
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:33,868
Don't touch the register.
87
00:03:33,903 --> 00:03:35,560
Don't touch the candy,
don't touch the price tags
88
00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:37,493
and don't touch the microphones.
89
00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:38,770
And that includes by accident.
90
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:39,736
That includes just looking.
91
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:41,048
That includes hovering
92
00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:43,015
with your finger
a half inch away from it.
93
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:45,466
Fair warning.
94
00:03:51,886 --> 00:03:53,474
Dare you.
95
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:54,510
Go ahead.
96
00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:55,787
You do it.
97
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,202
I'll do it.Yeah, right.
98
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,100
I will.
99
00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:00,309
This isn't baby
stuff, Dewey.
100
00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:01,896
Yeah, go ride the horsey
out front.
101
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:04,416
[chuckles]
102
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:05,452
Horsey.
103
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:07,695
I got to remember that.
104
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:10,974
The microphone, register...
105
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:14,184
candy... price tags...
106
00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:16,704
steam cleaner.
107
00:04:23,573 --> 00:04:25,299
Boys!
108
00:04:25,334 --> 00:04:28,820
It's not what it looks like!
109
00:04:32,341 --> 00:04:33,514
Oh, hello, boys.
110
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,171
How long you in for?
111
00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:36,345
Another hour.
112
00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:37,415
Yow.
113
00:04:37,449 --> 00:04:38,381
Hi, hon.
114
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,382
Hi.
115
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:41,315
Did you see Dewey outside?
116
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:42,799
Oh, what's wrong?
117
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,905
I don't know,
but something's upsetting him.
118
00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:47,045
He didn't say a word
on the way home,
119
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,737
and now I just can't
find him anywhere.
120
00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:51,014
Hmm.
121
00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,878
Hey, I'll check
his special place.
122
00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:54,880
Dewey?
123
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:56,744
You in there, buddy?
124
00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:58,574
DEWEY:
No.
125
00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:00,196
What's wrong, pal?
126
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:01,991
I did something bad.
127
00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:04,200
They told me to ride a horsey,
and I'm not a baby,
128
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,236
but I would have played
with the carpet cleaner,
129
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:07,824
and I didn't have
a quarter anyway.
130
00:05:07,859 --> 00:05:09,205
Uh-huh. Dewey, honey,
131
00:05:09,239 --> 00:05:11,103
Daddy's getting a cramp
in his leg.
132
00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:12,381
What did you do?
133
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:15,280
I took something
from Mommy's store.
134
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,730
Well, that's very serious.
135
00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:17,938
What did you take?
136
00:05:17,972 --> 00:05:19,042
A candy bar?
137
00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:21,390
No. It's not
a candy bar.
138
00:05:21,424 --> 00:05:23,599
Oh? Well, what is it?
139
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:27,361
$150 bottle of cognac?
140
00:05:27,396 --> 00:05:29,259
How could you take this?!
141
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,192
I'm sorry.
142
00:05:31,227 --> 00:05:32,539
My God,
would you look at this thing?
143
00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:33,919
Can you imagine the man
144
00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:35,680
who spends 150 bucks
on a bottle of cognac?
145
00:05:35,714 --> 00:05:37,923
What do you think a guy
like that pays for socks?
146
00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,615
Dewey, what am I
going to do with you?
147
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:42,134
This works
pretty good, Mom.
148
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:44,136
Go get your jacket; we're
going back to the store.
149
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:47,416
You are going to return
this bottle to Mr. Pinter,
150
00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:50,039
apologize and accept
the consequences.
151
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:51,247
What do mean, "fired"?!
152
00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:52,800
You can't fire me for this.
153
00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:56,010
Sorry. Store policy is
very clear about stealing.
154
00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:57,460
But he didn't steal it;
he returned it.
155
00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:59,048
It's right there.
The bottle is perfect.
156
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:00,946
You can just put it
right back on the shelf.
157
00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:02,465
I already marked it
out of inventory.
158
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,604
My hands are tied here.
159
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,227
What are you talking about?
160
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:07,953
You don't even do inventory.
161
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:11,301
You foist if off on me because
you make so many mistakes.
162
00:06:11,336 --> 00:06:13,994
You're not exactly making me
regret my decision here, Lois.
163
00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,375
Mom?
164
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,928
Oh, honey, it's
okay. It's okay.
165
00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:18,412
This is just an excuse.
166
00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:20,966
You have hated me
since the minute you got here
167
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:24,522
because I was first choice for
your job and I turned it down.
168
00:06:24,556 --> 00:06:27,110
You know, you think
what you want, okay?
169
00:06:27,145 --> 00:06:29,354
At least I didn't raise a thief.
170
00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:32,875
[loud ripping sound,
Pinter yells, workers gasp]
171
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:37,914
Velcro. I win the pool.
172
00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:48,131
[reciting]:
Sweet home Alabama.
173
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,168
[piano accompaniment]
174
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:53,965
Where the skies are so blue.
175
00:06:56,726 --> 00:06:59,936
Sweet home Alabama.
176
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:06,080
Lord, I'm coming home
177
00:07:06,115 --> 00:07:07,219
to you.
178
00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:10,050
[playing licks]
179
00:07:10,084 --> 00:07:12,224
[applause]
180
00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:14,019
Oh, very, very
nice, Bridget.
181
00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:16,366
That was very nice.
182
00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:17,885
Oh, Francis, I wanted
to thank you again
183
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,508
for being so helpful.
184
00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:22,338
Usually, the honor guards
just sit around and gawk,
185
00:07:22,372 --> 00:07:24,133
but you've really
thrown yourself
186
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:25,824
into this whole hog,
haven't you?
187
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:29,379
What can I say?
I love the theater.
188
00:07:29,414 --> 00:07:33,176
Francis, will you help me
decide on my leg extensions?
189
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:35,178
Which do you think
looks better--
190
00:07:35,213 --> 00:07:36,870
right leg...
191
00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:39,459
or left leg?
192
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,426
Hmm.
193
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:45,292
Can you... do both?
194
00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:51,540
It's been ten days
since Mom lost her job.
195
00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:54,577
Yesterday for dinner,
we had macaroni and rice.
196
00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:56,441
Today it's rice and macaroni.
197
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,202
Mom, I can't eat
this stuff anymore.
198
00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:00,928
Reese, this is not the time
for complaining.
199
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:03,862
I'm not complaining;
I'm constipated.
200
00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:06,555
I'm sorry, we can't afford
to live lavishly anymore.
201
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:07,487
Drink your milk.
202
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,315
It's lumpy.
203
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:09,592
Then chew it.
204
00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:11,732
Hey, come on, we can do this.
205
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:13,872
We've had to economize before.
206
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:16,219
Remember when Grandma drove
into the living room?
207
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:18,981
Or last year, when we were
saving up for Disneyland?
208
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:20,638
We're going to Disneyland?
209
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:21,708
No.
210
00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:23,433
It's likethat.
211
00:08:23,468 --> 00:08:26,057
Except this time, we're just
trying to keep the house.
212
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:28,162
Okay, everybody, stop worrying.
213
00:08:28,197 --> 00:08:30,544
I am going to find another job.
214
00:08:30,579 --> 00:08:32,650
Another cashier job
with flexible hours
215
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:36,654
that allows me to leave whenever
I need to take care of my kids.
216
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,725
Well, can't you get
unemployment or something?
217
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:40,347
No. I only worked
38 hours a week.
218
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:41,659
They consider that part-time.
219
00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:43,902
You know, I hope
you are at least learning
220
00:08:43,937 --> 00:08:45,525
something
from all this.
221
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,597
Yeah, if you do
something bad, don't tell.
222
00:08:48,631 --> 00:08:49,805
No. We did the right thing.
223
00:08:49,839 --> 00:08:51,427
That's what's important.
224
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:54,361
Can't we at least do a load
of laundry or something?
225
00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:55,949
Everything I have stinks.
226
00:08:55,983 --> 00:08:58,917
Yeah, he wants to smell
good for... Julie!
227
00:08:58,952 --> 00:09:00,022
[gagging]
228
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:01,230
Malcolm.
229
00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:04,164
Yeah, yeah.
230
00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:09,445
It was worth it.
231
00:09:09,479 --> 00:09:11,930
So we can't do laundry,
we have to share baths,
232
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,519
and yesterday, she had
our cable turned off.
233
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,141
Our cable!
234
00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:19,144
How's your... love life?
235
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,492
What?
So, basically,
everything I tell you
236
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:23,873
in confidence as a friend
237
00:09:23,908 --> 00:09:25,806
you're going to use
to make fun of me?
238
00:09:25,841 --> 00:09:28,947
I have... nothing else.
239
00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:30,431
Hi, Malcolm.
240
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:31,709
You want to split lunches?
241
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,227
What?
242
00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:34,919
Yeah, sure.
243
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,447
[wheels creaking]
244
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:52,833
I have a Chinese chicken
salad, a tangerine,
245
00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:54,904
and, ooh, Jordan almonds.
246
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:56,388
What do you have?
247
00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:59,012
Leftover eggs
from breakfast.
248
00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:00,634
Oh.
249
00:10:00,669 --> 00:10:03,533
Uh, I'm on a special diet,
for sports.
250
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,950
Oh, I forgot.
251
00:10:05,984 --> 00:10:07,814
I have to go...
work out.
252
00:10:07,848 --> 00:10:09,781
I'll see you later.
253
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,337
I can't take
this anymore!
254
00:10:14,372 --> 00:10:16,443
Everything I want,
I can't have!
255
00:10:16,477 --> 00:10:18,065
Anything that's nice,
I can't do!
256
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,172
Everyone in the world
gets to do everything except me!
257
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:23,346
Malcolm...Yeah, yeah, yeah.
258
00:10:23,381 --> 00:10:24,831
I know there's other people
worse off than me.
259
00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:27,074
You know what?
I don't care.
260
00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:29,732
I'm sick of going to school
every day smelling like feet!
261
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,285
Malcolm...
262
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,701
I hate being poor, okay?!
263
00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:33,978
I mean, is that so bad?
264
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:36,359
Why is that, like,
some big character flaw?
265
00:10:36,394 --> 00:10:37,878
It's not my fault
we're poor!
266
00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:38,638
Malcolm!
267
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,088
You, um...
268
00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,228
left your backpack.
269
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:49,165
Maybe you should try taking
a really deep breath
270
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,754
beforeyou start talking.Yeah.
271
00:10:52,962 --> 00:10:54,481
Francis, where have you been?
272
00:10:54,515 --> 00:10:56,345
I've been looking for you
for days.
273
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:59,313
I'm sorry, Dad.
I've just been buried here.
274
00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:02,420
Okay, listen, I've got kind of
275
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,249
a good news/bad news thing here.
276
00:11:04,284 --> 00:11:05,803
[sighs]
277
00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:08,529
Your mom lost her job,
and we're pretty broke.
278
00:11:08,564 --> 00:11:11,394
The good news is, that makes
your tuition an issue.
279
00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:14,950
Now, I think I can talk her
into letting you come home.
280
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,779
Dad, no, I can't come home!
281
00:11:16,814 --> 00:11:18,678
Marlin Academy
is the best thing
282
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,265
that has ever
happened to me.
283
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,164
I am at a crucial point
in my rehabilitation.
284
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:24,338
Uh-huh. What's her name?
285
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:26,858
That's the thing--
there's, like, ten of them!
286
00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:29,654
[knock at door]
287
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,726
Check the peephole.
288
00:11:32,761 --> 00:11:35,349
If they've got a hand truck,
don't open it.
289
00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:37,144
[knocking continues]
290
00:11:37,179 --> 00:11:39,146
[door opens, closes]
291
00:11:39,181 --> 00:11:40,769
Craig, what are
you doing here?
292
00:11:40,803 --> 00:11:43,185
Lois, I just had a meeting
with Mr. Pinter--
293
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:45,187
well, more like an hour
begging, really--
294
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:47,499
but the point is, you can
have your old job back!
295
00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:48,604
Yes!
296
00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:51,711
Craig, that is such good news!
297
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:54,127
And all you have to do
is apologize.
298
00:11:54,161 --> 00:11:57,475
And let him dock your pay
150 bucks.
299
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,477
And you have to work
the graveyard shift
300
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:00,858
for a couple months.
301
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:01,997
Oh.
302
00:12:02,031 --> 00:12:03,757
Sounds good, Mom.
303
00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:05,000
No, thanks.What?!
304
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:06,726
You're kidding!Why?!
305
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,004
Becausethat's like admitting
he's right.
306
00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:10,557
I'm not going to do that.
307
00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:12,732
Lois, if this makes
any difference,
308
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:16,114
I will work every graveyard
shift right alongside you--
309
00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:17,840
every single one of them.
310
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,186
Oh, hi, Craig.
What's going on?
311
00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:21,154
Nothing. Just business.
312
00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:23,673
Take it easy, tiger.
313
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,365
We're working.
314
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:26,780
Well, I am.
315
00:12:27,608 --> 00:12:28,920
Hi.
316
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:31,060
Back to the grind.
317
00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:34,788
Nice guy.
318
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:45,247
WOMAN:
Thank you, Tanya.
319
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,732
Tanya, that was
fantastic.
320
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,699
I swear, when you
put tap to it,
321
00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:52,254
the Pledge of Allegiance
just comes alive.
322
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:55,257
One suggestion:
do you have a tube top?
323
00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:57,604
Oh, Francis, you are
just wonderful.
324
00:12:57,638 --> 00:13:00,745
I mean, you're so different
than the local boys.
325
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,437
I mean, I haven't even
known you that long,
326
00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:06,509
and I already feel
so connected to you.
327
00:13:06,544 --> 00:13:08,442
I know. It's almost mystical.
328
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:12,343
Yeah. And I'm so glad the
gay thing isn't an issue.
329
00:13:12,377 --> 00:13:14,241
You're gay?
330
00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:16,934
No, no, silly-- youare.
331
00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:18,901
Wait, you think I'm gay?
332
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,938
Oh, you don't have to
hide anything, honey.
333
00:13:20,972 --> 00:13:22,767
I mean, we're a lot
more liberal here
334
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,217
than you think we are.
335
00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:27,116
I mean, it's not
like Birmingham.
336
00:13:27,151 --> 00:13:30,050
Wait a minute--
you think I'm gay?
337
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:31,569
Why do you think I'm gay?
338
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,226
Oh, come on.
339
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:35,780
You like the theater,
you're good with decorating,
340
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:39,301
and, well, you're completely
obsessed with your mother.
341
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:41,441
Can you undo my hooks?
342
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,410
Tanya, I'm kind of having
a dilemma here...
343
00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:49,104
Oh, great.
Frannie, can you spray me?
344
00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:50,484
My suit keeps riding up.
345
00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,692
[giggling]
346
00:13:54,488 --> 00:13:57,837
That's why I'm here...
girlfriend.
347
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,914
So what did you
want to talk about?
348
00:14:05,948 --> 00:14:08,088
I'm your teacher.
Can't we just talk?
349
00:14:08,123 --> 00:14:11,264
You know, that
Julie Houlerman
350
00:14:11,298 --> 00:14:14,025
is a very special
little girl.
351
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,820
Oh, come on!
352
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,959
Caroline,
I don't want to...
353
00:14:16,994 --> 00:14:19,168
Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.
354
00:14:19,203 --> 00:14:22,275
So private, so guarded.
355
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:25,278
But you don't have to
be that way with me.
356
00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:27,694
I'm on your side.
357
00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:30,835
Julie knows that-- she's
not even in my class.
358
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,837
She talked to you?
About me?
359
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,045
What'd she say?
360
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,842
Aw, nothing that wasn't
obvious already.
361
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,395
You know, when you
open up to people,
362
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,535
you will always
be surprised
363
00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:44,676
just how well
things turn out.
364
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:47,783
ALL:
Surprise!
365
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,409
Isn't it wonderful?
366
00:14:53,444 --> 00:14:55,342
Julie organized
367
00:14:55,377 --> 00:14:57,551
the whole thing herself,
and everyone
368
00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,519
in school responded.
369
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:02,487
Dear Malcolm, this
isn't just food.
370
00:15:02,522 --> 00:15:05,283
It's an expression of how
we all feel about you.
371
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:08,908
Our hearts go out to you
in your time of need.
372
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,186
[applause]
373
00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:28,099
You're going
to keep the food?
Yes.
374
00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:30,584
I'm not going to throw away
perfectly good pie filling
375
00:15:30,619 --> 00:15:32,241
and... lamb chutney.
376
00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:34,554
Don't you even care
how humiliating this is?
377
00:15:34,588 --> 00:15:36,073
REESE:
We've done can drives.
378
00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:37,453
This is just the
crap people find
379
00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:38,903
when they clean
out the garage.
380
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,973
Okay, just stop it.
381
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,148
I know how
hard this is,
382
00:15:42,182 --> 00:15:43,977
but no one ever said
life is fair.
383
00:15:44,012 --> 00:15:45,461
Sometimes decent,
hard-working people
384
00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:46,911
get dumped on
for no good reason,
385
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,430
and they just have
to wipe out their eyes
386
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:49,396
and keep on walking.
387
00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:51,605
Something will
turn up.
388
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,022
We just have to hold on
a little bit longer.
389
00:15:54,056 --> 00:15:56,956
And in the meantime, be
thankful for small favors.
390
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,924
Anyone want the last olive?
391
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,615
Those aren't olives.
392
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:03,307
Those are peaches.
393
00:16:05,274 --> 00:16:07,173
[siren wailing]
394
00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:12,488
Well, you got him here
early, that's good.
395
00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,145
He'll be fine
in a few days.
396
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:16,872
Just like when this
one ate the frog.
397
00:16:16,906 --> 00:16:18,632
I only ate half of it.
398
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:21,049
I won't put
the stomach pump on the bill.
399
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:23,948
I mean, he did most
of the work on the way over.
400
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,156
Thanks, Don. Uh...
401
00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,434
listen, as far
as the bill goes,
402
00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:30,299
what kind of neighborhood
are we in?
403
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,956
Well... the emergency room,
404
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,993
couple days
of observation--
405
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,580
probably three or four.
406
00:16:35,615 --> 00:16:38,480
Three or four...
hun...?
407
00:16:54,703 --> 00:16:55,980
Okay.
408
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,292
You boys take
care of your dad.
409
00:16:57,326 --> 00:16:58,569
I'm going to go see Mr. Pinter
410
00:16:58,603 --> 00:16:59,811
and beg for my job back.
411
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:00,881
What? Mom, wait.
412
00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:02,435
You don't have
to do that.
413
00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:03,953
Yes, I do. I don't want to,
414
00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:05,817
shouldn't have to,
but guess what?
415
00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:07,164
I do.
416
00:17:07,198 --> 00:17:08,819
But I want you boys
to understand something.
417
00:17:08,855 --> 00:17:11,720
I am not going back
on anything I said before.
418
00:17:11,753 --> 00:17:13,584
She's completely
going back on it,
419
00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:16,173
but I'm not going
to kick her when she's down.
420
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:18,140
You're totally
going back on it.
421
00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:19,383
No, I am not.
422
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:21,867
Everything I said before
still goes.
423
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,076
You know, sometimes
bad things happen
424
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:25,078
and you don't
understand why,
425
00:17:25,113 --> 00:17:28,219
and you just have to trust that
there's a good reason for it.
426
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:32,016
Sure, it's easy
to work in mysterious ways
427
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,191
when you havea job.
428
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:39,437
[long, gassy whine]
429
00:17:39,472 --> 00:17:41,267
[farts]
430
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:43,407
[groans]
431
00:17:43,441 --> 00:17:47,756
The first one who laughs
gets their ass kicked.
432
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,347
[moans]
433
00:17:52,381 --> 00:17:55,557
You have
incredible hands.
434
00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:59,561
Well, it's easy
on such a beautiful back.
435
00:17:59,595 --> 00:18:02,736
Not to mention
the most talented...
436
00:18:02,771 --> 00:18:05,429
sweet...
437
00:18:05,463 --> 00:18:06,775
sexy...
438
00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:10,882
What?
439
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,436
Francis...
440
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:16,785
are... are you sure
you're really...
441
00:18:16,819 --> 00:18:19,236
how you are?
442
00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:23,412
Tanya, I'm so confused.
443
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:27,554
I mean, I thought that I was,
but when I'm around you,
444
00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:31,248
I have these...
strange, new feelings.
445
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:37,046
I feel like...
maybe I could... change.
446
00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:41,120
That you could be
the woman who changes me.
447
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:44,330
Oh, Francis...
448
00:18:44,364 --> 00:18:46,815
I was hoping you'd say that.
449
00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:48,782
I want to be that woman
450
00:18:48,817 --> 00:18:50,025
for you.
451
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:52,027
Oh, and don't
you worry, honey.
452
00:18:52,061 --> 00:18:54,995
If there's one thing
we know how to do
453
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:56,342
down here,
454
00:18:56,376 --> 00:18:59,138
it's how to fix this.
455
00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:02,313
MAN:
And with God's help,
456
00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:05,178
we can say "no!" to weakness.
457
00:19:05,213 --> 00:19:08,940
We can say "no!"
to all things unnatural!
458
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:12,530
It is procreation,
not recreation!
459
00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:16,500
And when Satan tempts us,
what do we do?
460
00:19:16,534 --> 00:19:18,122
Pray out the gay.
461
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,158
Get to it!
462
00:19:26,648 --> 00:19:28,788
I have to say, Lois,
I'm surprised
463
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:30,997
by this change
in your attitude.
464
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:32,792
Yeah, well, me, too.
465
00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:35,035
I know we've had
our differences,
466
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,728
but I hope that we
can make all this
467
00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:39,350
water under the bridge.
468
00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:41,559
So, if you'll
just sign here...
469
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:42,871
Mm, what's this?
470
00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:44,321
Your apology.
471
00:19:44,355 --> 00:19:47,220
I think I captured
your voice rather nicely.
472
00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:49,291
You want it in writing?
473
00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:50,637
Yes.
474
00:19:50,672 --> 00:19:52,605
Look, Lois, you can
tell these clowns
475
00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:55,194
whatever you want--
that I got on my knees
476
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,368
and begged you to come
back, I don't care.
477
00:19:57,403 --> 00:20:01,510
I just want you and I to
know how things reallyare.
478
00:20:17,388 --> 00:20:18,734
That's not a signature.
479
00:20:18,769 --> 00:20:20,598
No, it's more
of a suggestion.
480
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,600
"The horse you rode in on"
is optional.
481
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:23,946
Now, look...
482
00:20:23,981 --> 00:20:25,085
No, you look.
483
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,086
I don't deserve this.
484
00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:27,709
The only thing
I ever did wrong
485
00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:29,538
was all the work I did
to cover your butt.
486
00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:30,919
Well, we obviously
have different
487
00:20:30,953 --> 00:20:32,127
definitions of "wrong."
488
00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:33,715
Yeah, I guess we do.
489
00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:35,268
For instance,
I think it's wrong
490
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:36,925
for you to put your name
on sales reports
491
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,513
that you didn't write.
492
00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:40,791
I think it's wrong you keep
a little bag of "herbs"
493
00:20:40,825 --> 00:20:42,275
in your bottom left drawer.
494
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,380
I think it's wrong
you slept with
495
00:20:43,414 --> 00:20:44,415
the district manager's wife.
496
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,245
And you want
to know something?
497
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,247
You don't even
have to worry about it,
498
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,871
because I also think it's wrong
to blab this kind of thing.
499
00:20:51,905 --> 00:20:55,599
You know, you should be so glad
that I'm the only one that knows
500
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:58,049
this stuff about you.
501
00:20:58,084 --> 00:21:01,846
Anyone else here would sell you
down the river in a second.
502
00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:04,573
[chuckles]
503
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:07,749
God, I am so much
better than you.
504
00:21:12,409 --> 00:21:13,789
[clears throat]
505
00:21:20,762 --> 00:21:23,661
Yeah, he just ran off
and quit for no reason.
506
00:21:23,696 --> 00:21:25,801
Huh, who knows why?
507
00:21:25,836 --> 00:21:28,183
See, you do
the right thing,
508
00:21:28,217 --> 00:21:31,669
and everything
works out for the best.
509
00:21:33,015 --> 00:21:34,638
Clean.
510
00:21:34,672 --> 00:21:38,331
I have Ho Hos-- real Ho Hos.
511
00:21:38,366 --> 00:21:40,126
You know,
I'm sure I'm neglecting
512
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,956
my spiritual side, but...
money rules.
513
00:21:42,991 --> 00:21:44,648
The best part is
514
00:21:44,682 --> 00:21:48,168
I can finally get everything
straightened out with Julie.
515
00:21:48,203 --> 00:21:49,411
Hi, Malcolm.
516
00:21:49,446 --> 00:21:51,033
Look, we're not poor anymore!
517
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:53,657
So I don't want any more
of your stupid pity, okay?!
518
00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:58,386
That helped, right?
33600
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