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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,737
PHOTOGRAPHER: Squeeze in.
Little closer together.
2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,373
Chins up like baby
birds. Lovely.
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,007
MALCOLM: Move.
REESE: Shut up.
4
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,842
MALCOLM: Stop touching me.
REESE: I'm not touching you.
5
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,878
I was clipping
on my tie.
While you were
touching me.
6
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,880
Stop it.
Why do we have
to do this?
7
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,848
Because we don't have a single
picture of us all together.
8
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,684
That's ridiculous.
9
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,719
We're a family-- we should have
a family portrait.
10
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,554
Well, Francis
isn't here.
11
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,523
Well, I'm not gonna cough up
200 bucks to fly him in
12
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,924
for one silly picture.
13
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,193
Where's Dewey?
14
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:29,097
Dewey, get out of there--
that's not your family.
15
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,864
You sure you want "autumn
leaves" as a backdrop?
16
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,400
Yes.
17
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,402
You didn't even look
at "happy windmills."
18
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,238
It's more colorful.
19
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,872
"Space shuttle."
PHOTOGRAPHER: Next.
20
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,808
Come on, let's go.
21
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,246
I have a coupon here for one
eight-by-ten and two wallet size
22
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,948
for $9.99, and
that's what I want.
23
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,683
I don't want the "golden
moments" collection.
24
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,185
I don't want the "family
and friends" collection.
25
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,853
I don't want the
"lifetime of love."
26
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,856
I want one eight-by-ten and
two wallet size for $9.99.
27
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,527
Fine. We have an installment
plan if that would help.
28
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,028
I brought a picture
of Francis.
29
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,530
He's gonna be
in the portrait.
Cool.
30
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,364
I'll hold it.
No, I'm gonna
hold it.
31
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,766
Let go.
I'm gonna hold it.
Come on.
32
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:09,036
Dewey, pants on, mister.
33
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,572
I'm sorry, but this
coupon's expired.
What?
34
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,407
It's expired.
35
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,309
What you want will
run you $39.50.
Ooh, "lonely beach."
36
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,246
We're kind of the "lonely
beach" family, right?
Hal.
37
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,781
But for another $5.00, you can
have the instant memory set.
38
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,216
That comes with double
exposure silhouettes
39
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,884
for the grandparents.
40
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,754
Look, could you please just do
what I'm asking you to...
41
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,722
I'm older!
It was my idea!
42
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,758
(both growling)
43
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,295
That is it!
44
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,763
Get up!
45
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:36,730
Get back!
46
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:37,765
Come here!
47
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,333
Go there!
48
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,768
Okay.
49
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,170
We are gonna take
this picture,
50
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,304
and it is gonna be good.
51
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,772
And that means no faces,
52
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,006
no tongues,
53
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,276
no crossed eyes,
no bunny ears.
54
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,510
We are gonna smile.
55
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,078
We are gonna look good.
56
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,446
It is gonna
cost us $9.99.
57
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,315
And all of this is
gonna happen
58
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,683
by the time
I count to three.
59
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,385
(all arguing)
One, two, three.
60
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,589
(arguing resumes)
61
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,125
* Yes, no, maybe
62
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,661
* I don't know
63
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,864
* Can you repeat the question?
64
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,201
* You're not the boss
of me now *
65
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,669
* You're not
the boss of me now *
66
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,038
* You're not the boss
of me now *
67
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,174
* And you're not so big
68
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,710
* You're not the boss
of me now *
69
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,678
* You're not
the boss of me now *
70
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,147
* You're not the boss
of me now *
71
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,983
* And you're not so big
72
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:33,421
* Life is unfair.
73
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,561
(phone ringing)
74
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,964
Hello.
75
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,333
(breathing heavily)
76
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,800
Hello?
77
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,636
(heavy breathing continues)
78
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,471
Listen, pervert, this is
the third time you've called,
79
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,306
and I have just about had it...
80
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,541
STEVIE:
Is Malcolm...
81
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,243
there?
82
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,644
Oh. Hi, Stevie.
83
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,246
Sorry, uh...
84
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,247
Malcolm, phone!
85
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,382
Hey, Stevie.
86
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:04,218
You're coming... tonight?
87
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,486
Yeah.
88
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,256
And sleeping... over?
89
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,090
It's a sleepover, Stevie--
that's what you do.
90
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:13,126
I'm just... excited.
91
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,399
Never... had one.
92
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,700
We can...
93
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,735
read comics...
94
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,171
and build...
95
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,574
models.
96
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:31,111
Stevie, I never thought I'd
say this, but slow down.
97
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,282
Ha... ha.
98
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:37,017
Forty-one.
99
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,019
Forty-two.
100
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,454
Forty-three.
101
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,256
Okay, stop,
I can't do anymore.
102
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,757
You think later on,
you can manage to stand
103
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,793
on my stomach
while I do sit-ups?
104
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,128
Ugh, just give me
a minute, okay?
105
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,873
Finley, what are you doing
in the cupboard?
106
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:03,143
Poquito cabeza.
Get out of there, man.
107
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,979
I can't-- I've been marked by
the brothers of the apocalypse.
108
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,981
Poquito cabeza.
109
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,383
Brothers of the apocalypse?
110
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,984
It's ridiculous.
111
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,053
It's five seniors
with limited imaginations.
112
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,655
Oh, yeah, that's
easy for you to say.
113
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,656
You've got Stanley
protecting you.
114
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:19,392
And you're not holding
poquito cabeza.
115
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,761
Would you stop saying
poquito cabeza?
116
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:21,928
I can't.
117
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,897
And I'm not
coming out.
118
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,500
Oh, could you turn
in my math homework?
119
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,171
These guys are so lame.
120
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,440
Amateurs.
121
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,141
Poor Finley.
122
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,110
He's good at math, right?
123
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,279
MEN (chanting):
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
124
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,249
Finley,
boom-ba-yay,
125
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,352
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
126
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,186
Finley, boom-ba-yay...
127
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,988
No!
128
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,457
Finley,
boom-ba-yay,
No! No, please!
129
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,326
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
Somebody help me. No.
130
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,661
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
Finley, boom...
Please, no.
131
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,163
Some... Somebody.
Stop.
132
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,499
Froot Loops.
133
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,506
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
Oh, please, please.
134
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,342
Finley, boom-ba-yay,
Help me! Help me!
135
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,077
Finley, boom-ba-yay...
No...!
136
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,347
Hey, Mom, I'm going to Stevie's.
137
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,815
LOIS:
You be nice to that boy.
138
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:15,983
He can't walk.
139
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,551
If he's got to go
to the bathroom
140
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,520
in the middle of the night,
you get up and you help him.
141
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,223
Yes! There's a Chucky
movie on tonight.
142
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,892
Not in this house.
143
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,528
You know how your father feels
about evil puppet movies.
144
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,796
Please, Mom.
145
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,897
It's not even
a school night.
146
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,131
I can stay up.
147
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,299
You really think
you're old enough?
148
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,834
I totally am.
149
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,169
Well, if you
really think so.
150
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,538
Aw, Mom, no fair.
151
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:38,972
What's the matter?
152
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,041
Afraid you can't
beat your mommy?
153
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,545
She's just a person,
she's just a person.
154
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,852
(feigning fear):
Oh, no.
155
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,254
He's finally
going to win.
156
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,689
What's he playing
for tonight?
157
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,425
Bedtime and a
Chucky movie.
158
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,926
Stop screwing around
and pin him.
159
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,600
Oh, you'll have to forgive
the mess, Malcolm.
160
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:10,237
Mmm, when our Stevie enters a
room, it's like a typhoon hit.
161
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,405
(chuckling)
162
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:19,447
Well, uh, we'll
leave you alone.
163
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,753
Check it out, Stevie.
164
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,589
The T. rex is three feet
tall with a movable jaw.
165
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,224
Red paint for blood.
166
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,060
This is so cool.
167
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,795
I heard screaming.
168
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:35,796
Yeah.
169
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,565
I said, "This
is so cool."
170
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,266
Is that a switchblade?
171
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,434
It's an
X-Acto knife.
172
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:41,769
To cut the pieces apart.
173
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,070
I use it all the time.
174
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,404
KITTY:
Oh, my goodness.
175
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,839
Well, we'll lock this up
with the scissors.
176
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,109
How about a puzzle?
177
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,879
Stevie, it's been a long time
178
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,781
since you did
the Arc de Triomphe.
179
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,450
We'll just give that back
when you go home.
180
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,655
Hmm.
181
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,558
Puzzles are... fun.
182
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,294
You think we can
order some pizza?
183
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,498
Mom's... making...
pizza.
184
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,934
Cheeseless...
sauceless... pizza.
185
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,836
That's just bread.
186
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,038
Pizza... bread.
187
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,679
Wise poquito cabeza.
188
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:28,015
Who shall your next victim be?
189
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,351
I am so sick
of these guys.
190
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,352
What's that?
191
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,854
You're not sure?
192
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,035
I think we have a winner.
193
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,805
You are cordially invited
194
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,440
to attend...
195
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,475
Hey!
196
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,044
I don't have a
problem with you.
197
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,879
(clears throat)
198
00:07:58,912 --> 00:07:59,947
Francis.
199
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,481
Look, Stevenson,
200
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,651
this place is
horrible enough,
201
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:07,555
so the poquito cabeza
thing stops now, okay?
202
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,623
Just stop...
203
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:10,658
Just stop.
204
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,726
Just stop packing.
205
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,729
You were
protecting me.
206
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,731
I mean, I know we don't have,
like, a formal agreement
207
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,733
or anything, but my act
of courage was kind of dependent
208
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,869
on your role
as my bodyguard.
209
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,037
I'm sorry, Francis.
You're sorry?
210
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,575
Do you have any idea what
these guys are gonna do to me?
211
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,409
Four words.
212
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,378
Nana has a fever.
213
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,880
End of discussion.
214
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,414
So what am I
supposed to do?
215
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,349
Remember that move
I taught you?
216
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,219
Yeah.
Don't even try it.
217
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:44,224
MEN (chanting):
Francis, boom-ba-yay,
Francis, boom-ba-yay,
218
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:45,425
Francis, boom-ba-yay...
219
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:50,530
Have to admit--
it's kind of catchy.
220
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,766
...Francis, boom-ba-yay.
221
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,068
Did you have fun
tonight, Malcolm?
222
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,838
Yeah, I guess.
223
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,108
But isn't it kind of early
to be going to bed?
224
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,710
It's not even 8:00.
225
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,111
Oh, don't worry,
that jigsaw puzzle
226
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,779
will still be there
in the morning.
227
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,849
Now, I know you boys want to do
228
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,719
a little chatting
before sleepy time.
229
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,788
Let's say four minutes.
230
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,927
Mrs. Kenarban can
be a tad strict.
231
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,930
She doesn't know that sometimes
boys have to be boys.
232
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,965
Am I right?
233
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,879
I can't move.
234
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,815
Welcome to...
the club.
235
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,283
I'm never gonna
fall asleep.
236
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,885
It's too early.
237
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,721
Want to tell...
ghost stories?
238
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,557
No, I want to do
that dinosaur model.
239
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,492
(grunts)
240
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,461
(alarm gently sounds)
241
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,998
KITTY:
Everything all right
in there, boys?
242
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,969
Um, yeah.
243
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,737
A plush toy just fell
on the floor.
244
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,172
We're fine.
245
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,843
(gasps)
You... can't.
246
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,078
I just did.
247
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,479
Your parents need
to cut you some slack.
248
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:16,283
They just...
want me... safe.
249
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,085
No, they want you
to be four.
250
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,654
Stevie, parents aren't allowed
to control everything you do.
251
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,556
(bell dings)
Sometimes,
you just have...
252
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,493
Sorry.
253
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,095
Conditioning.
254
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,096
Come on.
255
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,497
I got an idea.
256
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,399
We're gonna get you
out of here.
257
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,836
Don't.
258
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,870
It's alarmed.
259
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,108
You got me?
Yeah.
260
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,109
You got me?
261
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,844
No.
262
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,348
I didn't know...
you cared.
263
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,854
Okay.
264
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,523
You want maturity?
265
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,358
Well, here's three weeks
of social studies homework.
266
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,127
Now I'm one week ahead.
267
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,729
Plus, I called Grandma.
268
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,563
GRANDMA: Hello.
REESE: Hi, Grandma, it's Reese.
269
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,365
Who is this? Reese.
Grandma, it-it's Reese.
270
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,400
Who's Reese?
Grandma, it's Reese.
271
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,236
No, I won't accept charges.
It's Reese.
272
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,571
I'm trying to sleep.
Grandma, come on, it's Reese.
273
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,006
I'm very tired, please.
Grandma...
274
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,142
It goes on like that
for another ten minutes,
275
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,010
but I still want credit.
276
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,546
Honey, I'm very proud of you,
but you still haven't proven
277
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,481
you're old enough
to extend your bedtime.
278
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,383
Come on, Mom, I'll do anything.
279
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,384
All right.
280
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,719
Tell you what.
281
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,587
You can stay up and watch
the movie, if...
282
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,391
...you put Dewey
to bed.
283
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,492
Oh.
284
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,027
Anything else.
285
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,495
That's the deal.
286
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,497
You give him his bath,
you put him in his PJs,
287
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,498
you read him a story.
288
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,599
Lois, have a heart.
289
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,068
Hey, take it
or leave it.
290
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,870
I'll take it.
291
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,905
(chair scrapes)
292
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,775
Come on, Dewey!
293
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,109
It's bath time!
294
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,678
You know he doesn't
stand a chance.
295
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,082
(Dewey screams)
I know, but at least it'll give
us the night to be alone.
296
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,050
Oh.
297
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,119
I love the way
your mind works.
298
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,425
Honk.
299
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,895
(chuckles)
300
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,430
Smoothie.
301
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,569
I'm... winning.
302
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,408
I... lost.
303
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,276
Yes.
304
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,313
I got... another
quarter... in my chair.
305
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,664
Somebody stole my
friend's wheelchair.
306
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,733
What's it look like?
307
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,169
It's a chair
with wheels.
308
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,111
I'll go get a form.
309
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,180
I don't need a form,
I need a wheelchair.
310
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:06,954
Hey!
311
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:07,955
Come back!
312
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,689
I'm not kidding!
313
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,424
This ain't funny!
314
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,493
(grunts)
315
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,964
I'll get another chair.
316
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,937
I'm... screwed.
317
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,305
You're not screwed.
318
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,840
We just got to
get you home.
319
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,508
We'll deal with
everything else...
320
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,348
What are we going
to do now?
321
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,684
Carry me... like...
322
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,752
a backpack.
323
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,533
Stop! Stop!
324
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,602
Gonna... puke.
325
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,371
DEWEY:
Ow! Let me go!
326
00:13:58,405 --> 00:13:59,739
Come on, Dewey.
327
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:00,908
It's me.
328
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,342
You like me.
329
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,810
No, I don't.
330
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,178
Ow.
331
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,379
Dewey, please!
332
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,250
How much does my head weigh?
333
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,719
Zero.
334
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,722
Zero.
335
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,591
(chuckles)
336
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,660
Hey, do you remember
the last time we had
337
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,930
a quiet moment
together like this?
338
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,664
Bob's funeral.
339
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,732
Yeah.
340
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,034
Oh, that was nice.
341
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,069
And you look
great in black.
342
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,070
Aw...
343
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,438
You do. You do.
344
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,505
(chuckles)
345
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,541
(phone rings)
346
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,245
Let the machine
get it.
347
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,412
Mmm.
348
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:40,847
(phone rings)
349
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,682
(answering machine beeps)
350
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,451
FRANCIS:
Mom, Dad, hi.
351
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,286
Listen, something's come up.
352
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,121
Sorry about the way I sound,
353
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,957
but I'm calling
from inside a washing machine.
354
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,425
Don't worry, I think
I'll be fine as long as...
355
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,394
Oh. Hi, guys.
356
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,396
How's it going?
357
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,365
Hey, hey, what are you doing
with those quarters?
(guys laughing)
358
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,367
Hey, you guys,
you don't want to...
359
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,868
Hey, come on...!
360
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,902
(dial tone)
361
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,238
(sniffs)
362
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,107
Morning Dew.
363
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,942
You know
all my secrets.
Mm-hmm.
364
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,878
Well, we... we've been
together a long time.
365
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,446
Ah, well, don't worry.
366
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,982
I know all
your secrets, too.
367
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,416
No, you don't.
368
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,917
(chuckling):
Oh, yes, I do.
369
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,953
No, I'm a man of
mystery, Lois.
370
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,821
Okay,
let's hear one.
371
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,391
Let's hear a secret.
372
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,927
Well, it's not really a secret
as much as it is a fantasy,
373
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:31,331
but it's a little
embarrassing, so...
374
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:34,367
Well, so...
whisper it in my ear.
375
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,412
Ha-ha.
376
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,646
(chuckles)
377
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,081
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
378
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,449
Saw it in a
movie once.
379
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,284
Don't want to do
that-- that's...
380
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,319
(chuckles)
381
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,653
Oh, God.
382
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,655
I gotcha.
383
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,357
We can do that.
384
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,825
Really?
385
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:00,994
Mm-hmm.
386
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,295
(Dewey screams)
387
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,496
REESE:
Dewey, get back here!
388
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,533
(screaming)
389
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,504
Okay, I just have to
pick up a few things.
390
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,839
(Dewey screams)
Give me 20 minutes?
391
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,973
I'll be waiting.
392
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,008
Yes.
393
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,010
Honey?
Huh? Huh?
394
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,046
Honey, aren't you
forgetting something?
395
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,016
Thank you.
Thank you.
396
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,484
Your car keys.
397
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,453
REESE:
Come on, Dewey, stop!
398
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,488
Right.
399
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,889
REESE:
Stay out of the neighbor's...
400
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,158
(woman screams)
401
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,564
That's a nice cart.
402
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,998
Thanks.
403
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,433
It's new.
404
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,304
Downtown... rocks.
405
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,972
What's that?
406
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,740
A stripped car.
407
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,342
What's that?
408
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,344
A naked man arguing
with a wall.
409
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,745
What's that?
410
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,247
A nudie bookstore.
411
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,950
With my dad
coming out of it.
412
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,222
(singing to himself)
413
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,690
There you go.
414
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,528
Daddy's gonna get
some love tonight.
415
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,131
(gong rings)
416
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,203
STEVENSON:
Perhaps you'll survive--
417
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,070
perhaps not.
418
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:21,574
Many have perished at the hands
of the grand executioner.
419
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,079
They are the
lucky ones.
420
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,181
(whispering):
Are you scared?
421
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,918
Actually, now that
you mention it... no.
422
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,720
What?
423
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,557
Scared now?
424
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,559
No.
425
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,594
I'm just kind of itchy.
426
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,563
Huh?
427
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,533
You are hanging over
a bottomless pit.
428
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,402
In five seconds, I
will cut the rope.
429
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,903
Are you scared now?
430
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,572
I'm really not, no.
431
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,040
Why not?
432
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,608
This stuff is
way scary.
433
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:59,412
I'm sorry, it just feels
so... amateurish.
434
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,981
I mean, I know
you guys are trying,
435
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,251
but I've been tormented
by the best.
436
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,786
Let me tell you a little bit
about the master.
437
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,754
LOIS:
Traveling?!
438
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,289
He wasn't traveling.
439
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,090
Why don't you put your glasses
on here, buddy?
440
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,592
You're missing
a great game.
441
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,794
Oh, oh-oh, you're gonna
give me a technical?!
442
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,496
You're gonna give
me a technical?!
443
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,998
You can't give me
a technical!
444
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,900
Look at that
little pee-pee.
445
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,670
Oh, Francis, I forgot
how tiny you are.
446
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,138
Oh-oh, l-l...
447
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,506
That's the moment
of his birth.
448
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,341
You see? See him
coming out feet first?
449
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:32,179
Doctor said it was the biggest
mucus plug they'd ever seen.
450
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,281
It's an eight-inch scratch
on the car, Francis!
451
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,015
You know how much that's
gonna cost to fix?!
452
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,652
If you think you are ever,
ever borrowing my car again,
453
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,288
you are sadly
mistaken!
454
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,623
And I saw that
tattoo, Jimmy!
455
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,158
I'm telling your mother!
456
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:49,095
And that's just the stuff
I didn't block out.
457
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,697
Oh, man.
458
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,365
What have
we been doing?
459
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:53,966
This was all
so wrong.
460
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,769
We've got to stop treating
people like this.
461
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,338
Yeah.
462
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,841
If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna do it right.
463
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,878
You will never
amount to anything.
464
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,281
Why can't you just
apply yourself?
465
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,283
Do you enjoy
seeing me suffer?
466
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,618
Is that what this is?
467
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,486
After all that
I've done for you,
468
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,489
and this is the
thanks I get?!
469
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,962
We passed... that
couch... an hour ago.
470
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,232
I know
where we're going.
471
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,799
Oh, no, I don't.
472
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:27,834
This sucks.
473
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,303
You complain... a lot.
474
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,138
Well, I'm sorry,
but tonight hasn't exactly been
475
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,740
the most fun
in the world.
476
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,174
Not tonight.
477
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,543
All the time.
478
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:39,912
You never...
stop... bitching.
479
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,381
Okay, great.
480
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,216
You're gonna do
this now? Fine.
481
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,684
You were right.
482
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,019
We shouldn't have snuck
out of your house.
483
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,021
We shouldn't have
gone to the arcade.
484
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,658
It was stupid of me for
even thinking about it.
485
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,759
It was a dumb idea.
486
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,160
No.
487
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,562
Good idea.
488
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,564
Execution... sucked.
489
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,532
(boys laughing)
BOY: Yeah, do it again, man.
490
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,000
Come on, do it.
491
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,769
Yeah.
492
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,704
Your chair. Hey!
493
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,739
Oh...
494
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,582
I'm slowing... you down.
495
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,417
Get them... yourself.
496
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,785
Okay.
497
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,287
BOY:
Faster, man,
they're gaining on us.
498
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,255
(groans)
499
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,291
Come on!
Get out of the chair.
500
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,925
Oh, right.
501
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,567
You'd better be running!
502
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,636
Hey, Stevie, I got your...
503
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,746
Oh, my God.
504
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,715
Stevie, are
you okay?
505
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,784
Can't feel... my legs.
506
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,722
That's not funny.
507
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,590
LOIS:
Is there anything I can do
508
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,426
to get out
of the ticket, Officer?
509
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,727
HAL:
Just love me.
510
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,296
Ah, for crying out loud,
Hal, is that it?
511
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,197
Well, can't he be
a sensitive cop?
512
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,837
WOMAN:
No! N-No!
513
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,239
Th-That puppet's alive!
514
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,308
N-No...!
515
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,912
STEVIE:
Tonight was...
516
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,280
awesome.
517
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,416
Well, we kind of
got lucky.
518
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,185
I was... sort of
hoping... to get caught.
519
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,954
What?
520
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,156
Never been...
in trouble.
521
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,759
Like to see...
what it's like.
522
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,261
Sometimes you're such
a Krelboyne.
523
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,997
(police sirens whoop)
524
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,867
KITTY:
Oh! I've lost my baby! Oh...
525
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:45,705
I guess... we are...
in trouble... after all.
526
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,273
Malcolm?
527
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,775
KITTY (moaning):
My boy!
528
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,309
Malcolm...?
Just find my boy.
529
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:51,978
Oh, God.
530
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,980
Malcolm?
32674
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