Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,842
What'd you do?What?
2
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,714
Don't give me that.
What'd you do?
3
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:19,932
Nothing.
4
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,325
Mom, I'm trying
to study.
5
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:22,718
Oh.
6
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,069
Then I'm sure
you don't mind if I, uh...
7
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,679
took a look in here.
8
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,247
Mom, I'm telling you.
9
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,857
We didn't do anything.
10
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,468
Oh, you boys are
up to something.
11
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,209
I can smell it.
12
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:42,433
If you've broken another window,
it is gonna come out of your...
13
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,565
Are you done?
14
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,045
You want to frisk me?
15
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,353
You just consider
yourselves lucky.
16
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,181
This time.
17
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,155
That was close.
18
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:11,984
Either she's losing her touch,
or we're getting better.
19
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:16,163
♪ Yes, no, maybe
20
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,513
♪ I don't know
21
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,124
♪ Can you repeat the question?
22
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,300
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
23
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,608
♪ And you're not so big
24
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,784
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
25
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:31,047
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
26
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,136
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
27
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,400
♪ And you're not so big
28
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:40,535
♪ Life is unfair.
29
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,974
The good thing
about being smart
30
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,063
is I never have to look up
any phone numbers.
31
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,021
The bad thing is
no one else in the family
32
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:51,285
ever bothers
to remember anything.
33
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,330
Hey, Francis, you told me
to remind you
34
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,202
about Mom and Dad's anniversary.
35
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,159
Ah, great.
36
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,987
When is that?Today.
37
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,511
Dude, you're supposed
to remind me before
38
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,078
so that I can
get them something.
39
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,384
That's okay.
40
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,385
We'll put your name on our gift.
41
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,429
Cool. Thanks, man.
42
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:06,430
I owe you one.
43
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,215
No, you owe me 20.
44
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,433
That's what your share comes to.
45
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,435
You got 'em an $80 gift?
46
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,436
Uh...
47
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,612
Yeah.
48
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,621
Oh, Craig.
49
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,232
Happy anniversary.
50
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,538
16 wonderful years
to the same man.
51
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:30,367
That Hal is
one lucky hombre.
52
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,760
Craig, you
shouldn't have.
53
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,240
Oh, please.
54
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,372
Special gift
for a special lady
55
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,069
on a special day.
56
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,115
No, I mean, really,
you shouldn't have.
57
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,248
Aren't only husbands
supposed to give you gifts?
58
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,466
Fine, throw it
in the trash, then.
59
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,381
H-H-Hold on.
60
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,426
Well, let's see
what it is first.
61
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,601
[chuckles]
62
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,472
Oh, look at...
63
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,648
I've been meaning
to try this color.
64
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:53,042
I know, I saw you eyeing it
a couple weeks ago.
65
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,044
I didn't know we
carried this brand.We don't.
66
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:58,090
So where did you
see me...?
So, uh, big plans
for tonight?
67
00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,396
What are you gonna
be wearing? [chuckles]
68
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,355
Oh, it's gonna
be great.
69
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,357
I have the most perfect
red dress, I...
70
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,141
Took me two months
to save up for it,
71
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,534
but it was worth it.
72
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,929
Oh, I've been fantasizing
about this night forever.
73
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,280
♪
74
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,771
[sighs]
75
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,080
♪
76
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,741
[whimpering]
77
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:47,662
Craig?
78
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,098
Huh.
79
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,622
Yeah, uh, say, Lois,
uh, you...
80
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,972
y-you want to go catch a movie
or something over lunch?
81
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,452
Uh, they're playing
My Best Friend's Wedding
82
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,062
over in Electronics.Mm, no, thanks.
I don't...
83
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,412
Fine, forget it.
84
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,546
[grunts]
85
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,331
I'm okay!
86
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:08,944
Are you boys almost finished
wrapping our present?!
87
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:11,686
I have to meet your father at
the restaurant in ten minutes!
88
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,514
More paper.
89
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:15,211
I get to do the bow.
90
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,560
Why'd she give you the
money to buy the gift?
91
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,954
Because she didn't want
another karate video.
92
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:20,911
It's "ka-ra-tay."
93
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,436
I get to do the bow.
94
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,698
What'd we get
them anyway?
95
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:24,699
Picture frame.
96
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:25,700
Brownnoser.
97
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,310
I get to do the bow.
98
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,703
We're not finished yet.
99
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,401
Yeah, but I get to do the bow.
100
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:55,686
Finished.
101
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,514
Finally.
102
00:04:57,558 --> 00:05:00,474
No! I was supposed
to do the bow.
103
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,910
Well, you should
have said something.
104
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,128
I'm telling.
105
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,479
Mom...!
106
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,916
No...!
107
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,961
Fire?
108
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,138
Fire?
109
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,053
Fire?!Mom! What's...?
110
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,403
This is the most stupid,
irresponsible,
111
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:19,275
dangerous thing
you have ever done!
112
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,190
Is this what you want?!
113
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,497
Where we have to identify
your charred little bodies
114
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,977
through their dental records?
115
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,805
I want a straight answer.
116
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,024
Who did this?!
117
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,504
Malcolm did it!Reese did it!
118
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,375
I didn't do it!I didn't do it!
119
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,334
We're going to the dentist?
120
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,773
Who?
121
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,430
I don't like
that one anyway.
122
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,565
No. No. Not that one.
123
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,829
♪ They turn me down,
they turn me down ♪
124
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,788
♪ They turn, they turn,
they turn, they turn ♪
125
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,398
♪ They, they,
they, they, they... ♪
126
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,400
Who?
127
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,663
It wasn't me.
It was him.
It was him,
it was him.
128
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,404
Okay. Into the hallway.
129
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,014
I think I'm gonna puke.
130
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,408
Yeah? Well, that's gonna be
the highlight of your evening,
131
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,759
because nobody is going anywhere
till one of you tells me who.
132
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:09,847
And everything's
all set up?
133
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,588
I believe so, sir.
134
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,287
Table seven?
Chateau Brut '87?
135
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,419
Hors d'oeuvres medley?
136
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029
Yes, sir.
137
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,771
Ooh, geez.
[chuckles]
138
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:21,685
One more thing.
139
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,121
I almost forgot.
140
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,471
See, uh, my wife
always orders lobster,
141
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,429
so could you have
the chef slip this
142
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,823
on the lobster's claw
just before you serve it?
143
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,913
She gets such a kick
out of stuff like that.
144
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:34,002
And so do I,
for that matter.
145
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,308
[chuckles]
Not a problem, sir.
146
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,573
The violinist
has our song?
147
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,489
He received the sheet music
this morning.
148
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,273
Good. Good, good,
good, good.
149
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,709
You would be surprised
how many times
150
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:49,278
I've heard "Tears of a
Clown" just butchered.
151
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,627
Tell her.
You tell her.
152
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,324
Who?
153
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,544
[Malcolm and Reese accuse
each other indistinctly]
154
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,893
Okay, okay, closer to the wall!
155
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:59,506
Wait, Mom, seriously,
it reeks over here.
156
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,290
DEWEY:
I can't help it.
157
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,466
LOIS:
Okay, into the TV room.
158
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,641
Let's go.
159
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,469
♪ Come on...
160
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,471
♪ Come on
161
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,473
♪ Come on...
162
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,693
♪ Come on
163
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,478
♪ Come on, come on
164
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,349
♪ Come on...
165
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,742
REESE:
I'll give you $5
166
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,049
if you tell Mom you did it.You tell her.
167
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,703
You did it, 'cause
I didn't do it.
168
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:23,660
I really didn't.
169
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,053
What are you eating?
170
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,620
Nothing.
Why don't you
guys shut up
171
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,317
so I can think
of something?
172
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,753
What's there
to think of?
173
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,276
There's nothing we can do.
174
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,713
I've never seen Mom so mad.
175
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:33,931
Me, either.
176
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,106
Reese is right.
177
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,630
We're out of our league.
178
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,327
There's only one person
179
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,503
who ever had Mom this mad
at them and survived.
180
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,593
Hello.
181
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,338
And she has your heads where?Under the couch.
182
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,427
All because Reese
won't admit he did it.
183
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,124
You admit it.
I didn't do it.
184
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,952
Neither did I.
Liar.FRANCIS: Whoa, wh-whoa.
185
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,432
Chill. You are not gonna
get anywhere
186
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,738
fighting with each other.
187
00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,957
Now, first of all,
you all burned the dress.
188
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:00,958
I didn't.
189
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,003
Hey, you all did it.
190
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,395
You have to stay together.
191
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:04,658
You have to stay united.
192
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:05,920
United against who?
193
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,575
My mom.
Nice.
194
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,793
Okay, now, no one broke so far,
195
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,316
so you should be proud
of yourselves.
196
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,101
Did she do the toy thing yet?Yep.
197
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,624
Spinning?MALCOLM: Uh-uh.
198
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:15,712
Okay, good.
199
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,584
I think I know
where she's going.
200
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:18,889
Separate interviews.
201
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,804
Listen, when she gets you alone,
202
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,328
she's going to pretend
she's on your side.
203
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,417
She's not.
204
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,594
Go ahead.
205
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:30,205
It's a name brand.
206
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779
I'm not mad at you.
207
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,476
I know you
didn't do this.
208
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,782
You're a good boy.
209
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,698
But I want you to help
me find out who did.
210
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,613
This is serious.
211
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,745
One of your brothers could
have burned the house down.
212
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,574
And for that, he will
be severely punished.
213
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:55,273
But the one who helps me
will be a very happy boy.
214
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,798
And I want that
to be you.
215
00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,191
'Cause you've always
been the best one.
216
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,194
You've always been
the best one.
217
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,589
You have always
been the best one.
218
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,157
Mom, honestly,
I don't know who did it.
219
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,246
I don't know.Don't know.
220
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,380
Well, I guess you boys think
221
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,774
you've got your old mom
over a barrel, huh?
222
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,820
Well, we'll just see about that.
223
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,867
If you boys
want to play,
224
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:28,089
we can play all night long.
225
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,900
Sir?
Mmm.
226
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:57,901
Oh.
227
00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,555
Thank you.
Thank you.
228
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,818
Oh, can I have another
vodka martini, please?
229
00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,341
Very good.
230
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,257
This time, let's go
olive, onion, olive.
231
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,519
Whatever.
232
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,178
[busy signal beeps]
233
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,052
W-What's that? I
can't hear you.
234
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,228
She's killing us!
235
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,491
[creature laughs]
236
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,841
♪ Nice is good, mean is bad
237
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,844
♪ Don't be mean,
'cause mean is bad ♪
238
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,064
♪ Nice is better than mean
239
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,806
♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad [groans]
240
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:36,723
♪ Don't be a thug... Why does she have to ruin
everything I love?!
241
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,247
Francis, I'm just going
to tell her I did it.
242
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,337
I know it wasn't me, but
anything is better than this!
243
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,904
Oh, God.
[groaning]
244
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,514
That is bad.
245
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,777
They tried that psych-ops
stuff on Noriega.
246
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,126
They said that
by the end,
247
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,085
he wanted to cut
his own ears off.
248
00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,869
Malcolm, you cannot crack now.
249
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,698
She will own you
for the rest of your life.
250
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,091
Now, listen to me, Malcolm.
251
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,093
You have to do
exactly what I say.
252
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,748
♪ Nice is good, mean is bad
253
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,402
♪ Don't be mean,
'cause mean is bad ♪
254
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,535
♪ Nice is better than mean
255
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,538
[boys sing along]:
♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad
256
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,323
♪ Don't be a thug,
'cause thugs are bad ♪
257
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:15,109
♪ Hugs are better than thugs
258
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,980
♪ Smart is good... Did you see that?
259
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,721
Hey!Francis is a genius!
260
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,897
Come on, sing louder!
261
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:23,421
♪ Nice is good, mean is bad
262
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,945
♪ Don't be mean,
'cause mean is bad... ♪
263
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,599
LOIS:
Oh, this is so cute!
264
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,297
Oh, your grandmother
and all your friends
265
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,777
are just going to love this
266
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,431
at your next
birthday party.
267
00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:34,519
You're kidding me.
268
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:35,782
Okay, just
hang in there.
269
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,392
Give me a minute
to think.
270
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,872
Damn, she's good.
271
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,177
Did they crack?
272
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,136
Nah, Dewey faked
a stomach cramp,
273
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,138
bought 'em some time.Good man.
274
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,662
Man, if we would have had
your mom in 'Nam,
275
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,404
there'd be a McDonald's
in Hanoi Square right now.
276
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,928
Dude, there isa McDonald's
in Hanoi Square.
277
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,192
All right.
278
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,455
[busy signal beeps]
279
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,895
Franklin,
I'm ready to order.
280
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,592
Are you sure, sir?
281
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,899
Mm-hmm. See, in our family,
we have a saying.
282
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,379
"After an hour, eat without her.
283
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,773
If it's any longer,
something's wronger."
284
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,383
Very catchy, sir.
285
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,821
Well, when life
gives you lemons,
286
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,431
make lemonade, Franklin.
287
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,998
Do you have any lemonade?
288
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,913
No, sir.
Oh.
289
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,871
You have lemons?
Yes, sir.
290
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,047
Well, throw one
in another martini
291
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,919
and let's hear
those specials.
292
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,838
REESE [whispering]:
What's she doing?
293
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,143
Can't tell.
294
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,971
Maybe she left.
295
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,930
Yeah, I'm sure she's gone
out to buy us all presents.
296
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,235
DEWEY:
Hooray.
297
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,629
Man, it's just
too quiet out there.
298
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,283
It's driving me crazy.
299
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,851
Maybe we should sing some more.
300
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,113
Shut up, Dewey.
301
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,994
I wonder how many holes
are up in those tiles.
302
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,214
186,480.
303
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,825
You counted allthose?
304
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:06,263
No, you just count one tile's
holes, across and down,
305
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,789
multiply it, then multiply it
again by the number of tiles.
306
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,402
You're doing that more and more.
307
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,403
Doing what?
308
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,622
That brain thing.
309
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,756
Are you just going to keep
getting smarter and weirder?
310
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,019
I don't know.
311
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,847
Well, can you tone it down
a little bit?
312
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,936
'Cause I can't keep up
with all these butt-kickings.
313
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,720
What are you talking about?
314
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:31,506
Well, at least twice a day
I have to whoop-ass
315
00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,290
on some kid
calling you a weirdo.
316
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:34,988
Honestly, it's exhausting.
317
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,078
You beat up people
'cause they call me a weirdo?
318
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:40,036
Well, the last kid,
he was a freak anyways.
319
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,952
He was in no position
to throw out names.
320
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,521
Thanks.For what?
321
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,524
Nothing.
322
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,136
Hey.
323
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,877
What am I thinking right now?
324
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,053
I'm smart; I'm
not psychic.
325
00:13:57,097 --> 00:14:00,274
Can you understand
what dogs are saying?
326
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,362
No.
327
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:02,493
I can.
328
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:03,973
LOIS [singsongy]:
Oh, boys.
329
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:14,810
I don't know who put you up to
this sticking-together garbage,
330
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,551
but I don't like it.
331
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:20,163
Therefore, you have forced me
to do something terrible.
332
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,862
Say good-bye to a cherished
family member.
333
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,953
Who?!BOYS: No!
334
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,089
BOYS: No!Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
335
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,308
Don't you dare.
336
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,787
[knocking on door]
337
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,008
And don't move a muscle.
338
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,145
Hi, Lois.
339
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,363
Look, Ed, uh, it's 9:00.
340
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:47,930
I'm a little busy right now.
341
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,540
Well, you see,
there's the problem.
342
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,629
It's 9:00 at night, and I
keep hearing screaming.
343
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,197
Now, this didn't sound
like your normal screaming.
344
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,199
It-it was more like
killing-screaming.
345
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,418
I'm not one
to complain...
346
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,854
That's why we like you.
347
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:06,644
[panting]
348
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:09,212
In your room...
349
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,693
[distorted]:
now.
350
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,566
[whistles]
351
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,220
Nice place
you got here.
352
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,613
Thank you, sir.
353
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,007
I like to create
an atmosphere.
354
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,444
Did you enjoy your meal, sir?
355
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:26,229
Well, if you can call
four olives, two onions
356
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,970
and a whole lot
of alcohol a meal,
357
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,190
then, yes.
[chuckles]
358
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,974
Very good, sir.
359
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,149
Uh...
360
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,369
What have you got in
the cologne department?
361
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,198
Um, were you looking
for anything in particular?
362
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,896
Well, I've been thinking
about a signature scent.Uh-huh.
363
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,855
You see, I-I'd like to leave
a room and have people say,
364
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,814
"Boy, smells like
Hal in here."
365
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,076
Mmm?
366
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,122
But in a nice way.
Yeah.
Right.
367
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,037
Uh, let's see... you...
368
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,214
You strike me as a...
369
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,258
sandalwood.
370
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,868
Sandalwood, huh?
371
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,261
Sandalwood.
372
00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,089
Let's give it a
smell-see, shall we?
373
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,005
Eh?
374
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,137
Yes.
375
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,225
That's quite nice.
376
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:06,226
[mumbles]
Hit me.
377
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,271
Here we go.
[laughs]
378
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:11,231
Oh, that's... that
is quite nice.
379
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,406
Ooh!
380
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,016
You do a service
to your craft, sir.
381
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,236
This man is a genius.
382
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,284
Snooty bastard.
383
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,026
You'd think this place would
be the great equalizer, huh?
384
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,073
You know, even a king
looks like a fool
385
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,249
when he's answering
nature's call, am I right?
386
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,163
Of course I'm right.
387
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:33,166
Well, it's been
a pleasure.
388
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,038
Oh.
389
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,040
Sorry.
390
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:38,998
Have a good evening.
391
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,043
Uh, sir?
392
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,132
Yes.
393
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:48,268
Thank you for making
eye contact with me.
394
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,404
Boys, I just, I don't know
what to do anymore.
395
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,711
I don't want to punish anyone.
396
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,278
All I want is the truth.
397
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,063
I don't know
how things got this far,
398
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,022
but I just want it to stop.
399
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,113
Nah, they'll never buy it.
400
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,041
Oh, my God, Hal.
401
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,089
They saved the TV.
402
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,221
[cheering]
403
00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:30,353
Beautiful work,
beautiful!
404
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,095
You have her exactly where you
want her-- totally crazy.
405
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,141
Now it's time
to take the offensive.
406
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,272
The offensive?
407
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:37,752
Exactly. She won't...
408
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,101
Wait a minute.
409
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,581
Did you hear breathing?
410
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,539
What?
411
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,541
Mom?
412
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,247
LOIS:
Malcolm.
413
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,771
Would you hang up
the phone, please?
414
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,902
Hi, Mom.
415
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,121
Happy anniversary.
416
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,253
MALCOLM:
Not good. Not good.
417
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:01,515
What is it? What?!
418
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,820
Mom! Phone!
419
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,300
[Malcolm groans]Oh! Oh, man. Oh, man.
420
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:05,562
We're gonna die!
421
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:06,781
MALCOLM:
That's it.
422
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,696
I got to run away.
Oh. Wait!
423
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,045
We can get
out of this.
424
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,481
You have to use
that brain of yours.
425
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,526
Think.
426
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,570
Think!
427
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,919
All I can think about
428
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,139
is how hard he's
twisting my nipple.
429
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,271
Ow!
430
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,272
Okay.
431
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,230
Think. Think.
432
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:23,537
I got it.
433
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:28,150
[laughter]
434
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,505
Mmm, here it is.
435
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,941
That's our song.
436
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,378
Not our song.
No, no, not...
437
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:39,379
[laughter]
438
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163
Can I have...?
439
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,904
Another one...
440
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,168
LOIS:
I cannot believe you, Francis.
441
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,604
You think you are so clever
442
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,389
turning them against me,
don't you?
443
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,086
No, Mom.
444
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,827
We did not send you
to Marlin Academy
445
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437
so that you could undermine
my authority long-distance.
446
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,873
Well, why did you send me?
447
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,571
Well, it-it was not
448
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,399
so that you could undermine
my authority.
449
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,530
And if I am not mistaken,
450
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,445
you are undermining
my authority!
451
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,099
What are you doing?
452
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,361
Y-You're spending
your anniversary at home,
453
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,623
fixating on a stupid dress.
454
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,408
Is that what
you wanted tonight?
455
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,192
What am I supposed to do,
Francis? Let it go?
456
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,020
Yes, that is exactly
what you should do.
457
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,674
Let it go.
458
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,458
But you can't, 'cause you can
never let anything go.
459
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:19,462
I can, too, let things go.
460
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,463
Fine...I can...
461
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:21,682
Fine.I can!
462
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,727
Okay, just forget
I said anything.
463
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,471
I cannot talk to you anymore.
464
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,690
Ooh, you make me so mad.
465
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,692
Sometimes I just want
to break your neck.
466
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,346
[sighs] Did you get
the cookies I sent you?
467
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,869
Yeah, they were great.
468
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,392
Good.
469
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,699
[crashing, shattering]
470
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:54,671
I swear to God, on paper,
this was a great idea.
471
00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,937
All right, that's it.
472
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,939
Get dressed--
we're going to dinner.
473
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:04,377
Oh, my God, it didwork.
474
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,856
What?
475
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,293
Dinner.
476
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,120
I won't have you boys
starving to death.
477
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,079
Last thing I need is a bunch
of social workers and reporters
478
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,515
tearing up the front lawn.
479
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,387
Now, hurry up before
I change my mind.
480
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,866
What about the dress?
481
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,218
I really liked that dress.
482
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,143
HAL:
Hey, thanks for the ride, Tony.
483
00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,754
TONY:
Anytime, Hal!
484
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:37,236
Hello!
485
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,414
Honey?
486
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,719
Boys?
487
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,765
Anybody home?
488
00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:48,377
Hotcha!
489
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:51,380
This evening just keeps getting
better and better.
490
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,297
[grunts]
491
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,733
[sighs]
492
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,564
[television playing
in another room]
493
00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:07,266
Hmm.
494
00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,543
Oh! No, no.
495
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,762
Okay, okay.
496
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,373
[grunts]
Geez, oh...
497
00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:28,722
Not again.
498
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:30,376
[toilet flushes]
31218
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof