All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S06E12.en

Oh, Joel. Joel,
you can't leave me.

This is my big summer book.

But we're so good together.

Is it me? Is it me?
Because I can change.

Hello? Hello?

Fuck.

Peekaboo. May I see you?

I shall have
trouble with that one.

Lu. Lu.
Hi. I was just
about to call you.

Hey, Marty, watch. Marty, watch.

Oh, poke me up
the bum with a yardstick.

- I had it before.
- That's pretty good.

It's much better
than I could do.

Oh, hey. So how's our
self-help book coming?

I bet it will make a pot full
of money, because you have
no idea how many

sick people there are out there.
Hey, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Well, about the book,
I have some great news,

but you better sit down.

You ready? I killed the book.
I killed it because it was crap.

And I do not want
your first book to be crap.

- You deserve better.
- Oh, thanks, Marty.

So what are we doing
in its stead?

Well, we have tons of choices.

My personal favorite is...

How to help yourself
write your own self-help book.

Oh, you're lying to me,
aren't you, Marty?

There is no book.

- Right away, she knows you did
something wrong.
- Not per se.

Well, there's gotta be
a book, because people
are expecting it.

Somewhere
by some day for some reason.

I don't really understand why,

but I know that I'm in charge,
and it's very important.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

I'll come up with something
and we'll meet our deadline.

I hope so, Marty.

Because if I fail,
you know what I'm going
to have to do, don't you?

I'm going to have to fire you.

Just think how that's
going to make me feel.

The operation
will take several hours,

so I suggest you waste no time.

Toby. Toby.
Call every agent in town.

Find out who's got
a self-help book
that's ready to go.

Like a book would ever
solve anybody's problems,

in this empty,
meaningless world.

It would solve mine.
Now put together that list.

I want it on my desk in an hour.

An hour, a day,
what's the difference?

Is something bothering you?

If you must know, I have ennui.

It's French for "Life Sucks."

Oh, okay. Well, what's
French for "Let's get to work?"

You don't understand.

I feel like my life
is like that broken record

my grandma used to play.

♪ Oh, I went down South
For to see my Sal ♪

♪ For to see my Sal ♪

♪ For to see my Sal
For to see my Sal ♪

Toby. Toby.

The best cure for ennui

is to just throw
yourself into your work.

You know, so why don't
you start by, gosh,

I don't know,
helping me find a book.

Oh, now, that would give my life
meaning. I could die tomorrow.

They could put on my tombstone,
"Here lies Toby Pedalbee.

Once, she helped
Martin Tupper find a book."

That's the spirit.
Yes. There you go.

Come on down and see
the largest selection of...

With hazy morning clouds
burning off into afternoon--

The Serengeti,
One of the harshest--

I thought you were going
to help me.

I am helping.
I'm doing research.

At the very
beginning of...

Oh, folks, this
is one of my favorite items.

Look at this
beautiful alarm clock jewelry.

Man, this is pathetic.
Who buys this crap?

Give me two of the wake-up

and accessorized
jewelry box alarm clocks.

And while you're at it,
throw in a couple

of those Last Supper
commemorative plates.

Do they come with
matching gravy boats?

I swear,
I never told him to come home

with the most wonderful news.

Would you turn that down,
would you, please?

I am trying to work.

Hey. Hey.

I got an idea
for a self-help book.

The Tight-Ass Guide
to Entertaining,

by Martin Tuffer.

It's already
been upset.

Welcome to Beverly
Robinson's Butterfly
Power Program.

And now, Miss Beverly Robinson.

- Are you dissatisfied
with your life?
- Yeah.

Stuck in a go nowhere,
do nothing job.

- Yeah.
- Is there a talented,
successful butterfly

inside of you wanting to
break out of its cocoon?

Yeah.

Are you ready to
do something about it?

Yeah.

Then pick up the phone
and dial 1-800-555-0110,

to order my best selling, highly
touted butterfly power tape.

I used to paint fingernails.

Now I paint portraits.
I love you, Beverly Robinson.

I love you, too, Mrs. Kim.
And all of you.

Just like Charlotte Kim
can find the butterfly within.

Man, you should
do your book with her.

I would walk through hot coals
if she was on the other side.

- And naked.
- Yeah. You know, she--

- She seems to have...
- Fake tits.

Charisma. I was
going to say charisma.

...your dreams.

And they look real to me.

Remember, you've got
nothing to lose but your cocoon.

So spread your wings
and show the world

the beautiful
butterfly that you are.

Dial 1-800-555...

I really, really
appreciate you meeting

with me like this. I love
your show and your tapes.

And I think you should
do a book, because books

are so much easier to read.

Funny, Random House said
the same thing,

only not in those words.

Coffee time.
I ground the beans myself.

I would have milked the cow,
but I was too busy
reorganizing the files.

Muffin? I baked them
this morning.

- No, thanks
- Thank you. Toby, could you...

Beverly, you're
my personal guru.

I listened to your first
tape ten times last night.

Great.

I think it may be
time to move on to tape two.

- Toby, could you...
- What?

Straighten your desk, straighten
your tie, straighten your teeth?

No. Why don't you straighten
your desk?

While you're at it,
could you hold all my calls?

Aye, aye, Captain.
So long, Guru.

You know, if you can motivate my
secretary, you must be a genius.

- Would you...
- No, thanks.

I'm no genius, Martin.

I just help people
go into their emotional closets,

and take their dreams
out of mothballs.

Cheese blintz
is ready when you are.

Why don't we save them
for lunch?

Anyway, you... uh,
you were saying?

Everybody's got a dream.

Mine is to touch
people in a meaningful way.

What's your dream?

All my life,
I've tried to be a writer,

and all I got for my pains was
a trunk full of rejection slips.

I'm living my dream.

I'm a senior editor at
Whitestone Publishing.

It's the only place for me.
And I think it's the only
place for you, too.

Okay, convince me.

Well, we're a small
boutique house,

and then we offer
a personal, hands-on approach.

Or hands-off,
if that's what you prefer.

I mean, basically,
whatever you're looking for

in a publishing house,
that's what we are.

Martin, I'm not
looking to get my ass kissed.

My agent takes care of that.

What I need
is an editor who's going to be

bold and aggressive
and who will do

whatever it takes to get my
message to the people.

So unless you can do
better than that...

Cheer me up, Marty.
I'm on the verge of a binge.

Beverly Robinson, this
is Lu Fiske, our vice president.

I've got it.

Beverly has just
agreed to do a book with us.

In fact, a series of books,

based upon
her incredibly inspirational
lectures and tapes.

Oh, yeah, I know you.
You're that butterfly lady.

Exactly. Exactly.

Every publisher wanted her,
but she decided to
go with us.

In fact, she said, if it's not
Whitestone Publishing
and Martin Tupper,

there's no point
in doing a book at all.

That's right.

I think it's great to be
part of the Whitestone team.

It works. It works.
It works. It works.

And what a team it is.
Oh, here, Lu.

I've taken the liberty of buying
you a set of Beverly's tapes.

They've already helped me,
and I'm sure they'll help you.
Not that you need any help.

Oh, thanks, Marty.
I'll give them a listen.

You know, I have no
idea who is inside of me?

Wouldn't it be splendid
if it was the queen
of the Roller Derby?

And now Lu Jammer
for the Brisbane Bombers,

number seven, Lu Fiske.

The boss's sister. But don't
worry. I'm in charge here.

I like your style, Martin.
It reminds me of me.

You see something that you want
and you go after it.

The first stage in
the life history of a butterfly.

The second stage,
the caterpillar, or larva.

The curling tongue,
with its tasters at the tip,

Getting ready
for another change.

What is going on
inside of the chrysalis?

Completing its life history.

Oh!

Ta-da!

- Toby.
- Hi.

- What are you doing?
- Metamorphosis, Martin.

I listen to tapes three and four
and I emerge from my cocoon.

My inner butterfly
is breaking free.

And she's a tap dancer.

That would explain the noise
you're making with your shoes.

Why don't you tap over
the computer and type up these
notes? I need them right away.

Martin.

Why don't
you meet me in a supply closet

and I'll measure your inseam?

Quit yakkin', Ma.
We got work to do.

Exactly. Excuse me.

We got a theater to
find, costumes to make,

press releases to
press and release,

'cause I'm puttin' on a show!

Ta-da!

Behind this curtain
is the strangest creature

your eyes will ever behold.

A show? Really?

Well, there's nothing wrong
with a little hobby,

as long as it doesn't interfere
with your job.

So send your mother home, lose
the shoes, and let's
get to work.

Oh. He's bossy, isn't he?

I like that.

How did you beat me here?
You weren't even dressed
when I left.

That's because I walked
with a sense of purpose.

I finished the acknowledgments
and the last chapter,

but I didn't have time
to write the introduction.

You're partially
responsible for that.

You know, you might
want to talk to Toby.

I think she misunderstood
what you said about tapping
into her potential.

- What do you mean?
- She's tap dancing.

She's even talking about
doing a show.

But that's exactly
what she should be doing.

That's her butterfly.

I think you should
support her in that, don't you?

A thousand times. No.

Of course.

Chapter six.
Every butterfly needs some
wind beneath her wings.

And I'll be right there
in the front row blowing away.

Lu called.
You got a meeting at eight.

Don't you dare be late.

I canceled
your sandwich and ordered

you a salad because
you're putting on weight.
Yeah, you're putting on weight.

By the way,
I'm taking a couple days off.

Could you excuse
me for just a minute?

Sure.

Toby.

Now, look, you cannot
just take a few days off.

You're right. I need a week.

Here, Munchkin.
I sewed in some dress shields.

Now you can sweat like a pig
and nobody will ever know.

But ma! The stars.
You said you were going to--

Give me it.

Listen, this book goes
to press in ten days.

Ten. Tap your foot ten
times if you understand
what I'm saying.

Martin. I am
a butterfly and you are a net.

All you want to do is capture
me and squish me between
two pages of a book.

No. No. I want
to publish a book.

Until this book is published,
I forbid you
to take any time off.

- Are we clear?
- Perfectly.

Morning.

Zeta, where's Toby?

She called in sick.

But one of you must be lying.
Probably both.

Is that so?
What does she have, dance fever?

I think she said spinal
meningitis, but she'll be fine.

Oh, by the way,
thanks to these Beverly tapes,

I'm returning to my first love.

Hello, Martin.

Can't I get you some coffee?

I can't stand day after day.
I'm going mad.

5678.

No, wait a minute.

You call that kicking.

You gotta put some oomph
into it. Like, uh...

You're in an alley with some guy
and he owes you 30 G's,

and he's two days late
paying up.

Phone call for Louie Pedalbee.

Yeah. I'll be right
back. Angie, you cover for me.

Mm-hmm. Okay, sweet buns,
let's take it from the top.

Hey, Tobe, don't forget,
Elvis got his mother a Cadillac.

Toby. What do you--
hey, hey, hey. Toby.

What the hell's going on?
I thought you were sick.

I am. Sick of you
buttin' into my business.

I get five personal days.
I'm taking them.

Not when I'm on deadline.
Now get back to the office.

I need you to proofread
the galleys, and then
type up the jacket notes.

Did you look on your desk?
I finished it last night.

You still have to draw
up the production schedule

and copy and distribute
all those contracts.

Did it, did it, did it.

Zeta is finalizing
the details on the book signing.

So, are we finished
with our little chat?

Great news.

I have just persuaded
Vic Damone's manager

to come to the show!

Oh, one thing, Angie. He might
be expecting a chinchilla coat.

No problem.

I'll borrow
one from Lord and Taylor.

This could be my shot.

What shot? What, at what?

The big time. Vic Damone.

I read in Variety, he's
looking to spruce up his act.

Hey, I'm full of spruce.

You're full of prunes.

Oh, Toby, Toby, Toby.
You can't really believe

you're going to make it
as a tap dancer.

I don't.

That's why I'm singing
and telling jokes.

I'm a triple threat, like
Debbie Reynolds or Bobby Bonds.

Wait, now, Toby,
think this thing through.

I mean, come on. You don't have
the slightest bit of

brains, ability, good looks...

training or experience?

I mean, it's a little
ridiculous, isn't it?

Is everything all right?

Martin thinks my
dream is ridiculous.

I was just trying to
explain to Toby that maybe

she shouldn't have
such high expectations.

High expectations
equal high rewards.

Martin, you should know that.
It's the cornerstone
of chapter 4.

Well, yes.

Yes, yes, that may be,
but I just

don't want
to see Toby being misled.

That's what you think I'm doing?
Misleading people?

I'm sick and fast.

No.

No, no, of course not.

I'm your number one
fan, and you and your book

are my number
one priority, so...

We'll be right back.

Toby.

Toby. Look, I think it's great
that you're motivated,

but maybe
you should concentrate

on something more
suited to your strengths.

Oh, my strengths? What,
like typing and faxing?

Exactly.

Oh, maybe I should just throw my

tap shoes in the drawer
and forget about them.

Well...

Kind of like you did
with your half written novel.

- Hey, this isn't about me.
- Oh, or is it?

Look, Martin, you know,
you might be satisfied living

your entire life in a cocoon,
but don't drag me in there.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got a show to put on.

It might be a long shot,

but that's
one more than you have.

Cocoon boy.

Well, what have
you got to say now?

Beverly? Hi. You're early,
as usual, but I beat you here.

Danish? Coffee? Coffee, danish.
Danish coffee.

Actually, I have an appointment

in nine minutes,
so let's just get to business.

- I had a few thoughts.
- Shoot.

Shoot. Oh, I have
a big surprise for you.

I think you're going to love
it, but that's okay. You start.

Okay, first, the cover.
It should be green, not red.

Red says stop to me.

Green says go.

I totally agree. Green it is.

Second, point
of purchase displays.

I don't want any
life size cutouts of me.

It's tacky and a total cliche.

You read my mind.

Third, once
this book is finished,

so is my
association with this company.

I think you lost me
on that last point there.

Look, Martin,
you obviously thought that I was

in this for the money,
when, in truth,

that's your agenda, not mine.

So I'll be publishing
the rest of my series
with Simon and Schuster.

No, no, want. Wait, Beverly.

I mean,
even if I did think that,

and I'm not saying
I did, I don't anymore.

Martin, you know me. Once I make
up my mind, I never waver.

Right. Right.

Well, that's in your book,
right? About chapter nine.

Chapter one.

You're not going to quit now.

Isn't there something in chapter
three about staying open minded?

We could talk
about it Saturday night.

So, should I pick
you up or just

go fuck myself,
is what I'm guessing.

I love you, Beverly Robinson!

Excuse me. Can I, uh...

♪ I never broke the piñata ♪

♪ I never sat on Santa's lap ♪

♪ Now that I'm here,
I just gotta ♪

♪ Tap, Toby
Tap, Toby ♪

♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪

♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪

♪ So I gotta be ♪

♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪

♪ So I gotta be ♪

♪ Tap, tap, dancin' ♪

♪ On the S-T ♪

♪ A-G ♪

♪ E ♪

Lights!

♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪

♪ Not your ordinary ♪

♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪

♪ Desk secretary
42 words per minute ♪

♪ On the typewriter key ♪

♪ Don't you wish you were her? ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ah ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh ♪

♪ Eee ♪

♪ Fall in, please ♪

♪ I should be a movie star ♪

♪ Broadway's on the phone
for you ♪

♪ For Toby ♪

♪ Pedalbee ♪

♪ Instead I'll be ♪

♪ Tappin' for your clappin' ♪

♪ Driving at your clappin' ♪

♪ Tap tap tapping ♪

Let's take it down a notch.

When I was a little
girl, and the other kids

used to make fun of me,
my mother used to

give me
these words of wisdom.

She says, Toby,
next time you hit him,

use the brass knuckles.
This one's for you, ma.

♪ My mama thinks I'm special ♪

♪ That's what mamas are for ♪

♪ But golly all of Hollywood
Is ringing the door ♪

♪ So come on,
Vic Damone's manager ♪

♪ Say I'm the one you ordered ♪

♪ Start spreadin' it around ♪

♪ 'Cause Toby Pedalbee
is gonna be Broadway bound ♪

That wasn't so hard, was it?

Oh, yes. Later, Munchkin.

The only thing
I changed for the next time

is that the whole
stage should be on fire.

Yeah.

Toby, I just wanted to
tell you you're terrific.

- Really.
- I know.

I'm sorry, Toby.

- Damone's guy didn't show.
- What?

You know what? I should have
his brakes adjusted.

Ah. Nah, it's okay.
Unless it makes you
feel better.

Hey, Louie. Let's go to Sardi's.
We get a table near the door,

So we beat the jack, ah?
We'll see you there, Munchkin.

Ooh.

Hey, Toby.

I'm sorry it didn't work
out with the manager, you know
what I mean.

Are you okay?

- It's no big deal.
- What do you mean?

I thought that was the whole
point, you know, to be a star.

I thought so, too.

But let me tell you something.

Right in the middle
of my kick ball change,

I had an epiphany. Martin.

Martin, it's not about
Vegas or Broadway

or even having my face
up in lights.

It's about doing it.

For once in my
life, I was a butterfly.

How many people can say that?

Certainly not me.

- Not many.
- By the way, you owe me $10.

Huh?

I saw you sneak in the back.

Something's just
happened that'll make
the greatest chapter

I've ever written in my life.