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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,420 And then all of a sudden she just stopped responding to all my emails and 2 00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:05,420 unfriended me. 3 00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:10,080 Wow. I know how painful an unfriending can be. 4 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:12,860 Back in my day, we just got dumped. 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:18,480 Look, I know it probably sounds a little silly, but I don't think you realize 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,520 how much I really liked your daughter. 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,300 And I could have hooked up with so many girls behind her back and never did. 8 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,900 And then I find out that she's the queen of hookups. 9 00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:29,460 Oh, my. 10 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:32,460 Can I get you a drink of water? 11 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,660 No, I'm fine, actually. 12 00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:40,440 Okay, well, I'm going to grab a glass for myself if you don't mind. No, I... 13 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,460 she also had the audacity to tell me that part of the reason why she split up 14 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,400 with me is because I was too nice of a guy. 15 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,660 And I was a lame fuck. 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,840 I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound crass. Those are her words, not mine. 17 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:05,010 Tyler, what did I tell you the first time she brought you home? I know, I 18 00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:09,230 What did I tell you? You told me to run as far and as fast as I could. 19 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:13,790 Exactly. I love my daughter, but she's a selfish little bitch. 20 00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,810 And I knew you were headed for disaster. 21 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,390 Well, Kyle, you were right. 22 00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:23,830 She's charming, attractive, but to her, a boy is like a yo -yo. 23 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:26,990 Fun for a while, until the novelty wears off. 24 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:28,750 Wait, what's a yo -yo? 25 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:36,400 Oh, that's what we had before running water and the internet and fire and... 26 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:41,260 Boy, you sure do know how to make a woman feel her age. No, no, I didn't 27 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:45,960 like that at all. I know you're an older woman, but I could really see where she 28 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,100 gets her beautiful look from. 29 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,180 Okay, you barely escaped with that one. 30 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,640 Look, you are smart, talented, and adorable. 31 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,680 You're going to meet somebody else. 32 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,200 And this is all going to be a memory. 33 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:05,000 You got lots of time. For me, on the other hand, I'm running out of time. 34 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:10,100 I've been on this dating site for six months, and the best that I could do was 35 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,540 find a guy who could not perform. 36 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,340 But he did own a flooring company. 37 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,720 What are you doing on a dating website, though? 38 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:20,000 You're like a legend amongst Christy's friends. 39 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,000 I mean, the guys, at least. 40 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,120 Well, this is new information for me. 41 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,920 Suddenly I feel much better about my situation. 42 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,840 But I'm still very sorry about yours. 43 00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:37,960 Maybe we could, I don't know, help each other out in our own respective 44 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:38,960 situations? 45 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:44,340 Tyler, you're not suggesting... No, no, no, no, not at all. That's not what I 46 00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:45,340 meant. 47 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,080 Well, good. 48 00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:49,520 Because I wanted it to be my idea. 49 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:50,760 Yeah. 50 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:43,290 Can I? Yeah. Really? 51 00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:50,210 Look at that. 52 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:52,470 Oh, yeah. 53 00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:56,250 Oh, look at that. 54 00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:58,550 Sexy. 55 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,820 Oh, my God. Yeah. Fuck. 56 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,720 Oh, 57 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,360 my God. Oh, 58 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,320 my God. 59 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:33,700 Oh, my God. 60 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,300 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 61 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:37,700 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 62 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:42,920 Oh, my God. 63 00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:04,010 Oh, yes! 64 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,090 Oh, yeah, fuck! 65 00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,250 Oh, fuck! Oh, yeah! 66 00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:09,690 Oh, yeah! 67 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,590 Yes, right there! 68 00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:13,170 Right there, baby! Right there! 69 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,530 Oh, yeah! 70 00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:15,790 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! 71 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,500 I don't have to do this. 72 00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:27,350 my pussy lips. You ready for me? You ready for that? Oh, 73 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,510 fuck. 74 00:11:32,670 --> 00:11:34,030 Oh, yeah. 75 00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,290 Take off the shoes, baby. 76 00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,270 Oh, yeah. 77 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,540 Come here, sweetie. 78 00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:58,970 I'm going to say the last three, okay? 79 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:03,070 Oh, fuck. 80 00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:04,630 Oh, yeah. 81 00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:08,650 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. 82 00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:11,410 Oh, yeah. 83 00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:13,810 Oh, fuck. Oh, 84 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,010 yeah. Oh, 85 00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,170 fuck. Oh, yeah. 86 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:21,590 No. 87 00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:14,350 oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh 88 00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:20,270 yeah oh yeah 89 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,000 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. 90 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,240 Oh, 91 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000 fuck. 92 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,140 Oh, fuck. 93 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,640 Oh, yeah. 94 00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:39,860 Oh, 95 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,860 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. 96 00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,300 Oh, fuck. 97 00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:48,020 Oh, yeah, yeah. 98 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:53,040 Oh, yes. That is so... 99 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,619 Can you hold your legs? 100 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,040 Yeah, just like that. 101 00:20:58,860 --> 00:21:01,020 I want you to fucking come with me. You want me to come with you? 102 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:03,280 Yes. Yes. 103 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,060 Am I good to come? Yes, yes. 104 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:44,170 Tyler, 105 00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,010 you are not a lame thot. 6879

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