All language subtitles for Krapopolis s03e09 Nike The Goddness.eng

TYRANNIS: I can't believe
these new pedal machines.

And you named them
after yourself, you say?

What was your name? Bichael?

BICHAEL: Bichael was
my father's name.

Call me Bikey.

But that's
a three-person bikey.

Sad onlys are over there.

TYRANNIS: I'm not an only.
I'm waiting for some people.

BICHAEL: Oh, you sure
they're gonna show?

TYRANNIS: What? I...Yeah,
it's my brother and sister.

We have plans.

BICHAEL:
Not all siblings get along.

TYRANNIS: OK, Bikey,
well, we do, as it happens,

so thank you for the weird,
unsolicited advice,

but I'll be going
with this three-seater.

BICHAEL: Oh, it's just
that part of my job

is helping people face the fact
that their loved ones

don't really love them
as much as they think.

TYRANNIS: What is going on?
I don't under-

What is this conversation?
Why? Oh.

Oh, thank God. Here they come.

Bikey, you've been
absolutely awful.

ZAN: Sorry we're late, Ty.

TYRANNIS: You know, this guy
actually had me worried

for a second
that you guys weren't gonna...

Oh, what the hell?

STUPENDOUS: [Chuckles]

Stop!

TYRANNIS: You sent doubles?
Seriously?

STUPENDOUS: Aw, man,
how'd you figure it out?

TYRANNIS: How did I...

A man who's basically
your stalker and pretends

to be you for some weird reason?

ZAN: None taken.

TYRANNIS: And some unholy
monster version of you

that doesn't even know language?

HIPPO 2: [Babbles]

HIPPOCAMPUS:
This one was supposed to.

Guess now it'll be food
for the others.

TYRANNIS: You know,
if you didn't want to hang,

you could've just told me.

I was humiliated
in front of Bikey.

STUPENDOUS:
We've just been busy.

HIPPOCAMPUS: If we had
all the time in the world,

we'd hang out all day, erryday.

Don't take it personally.

Of course I take it personally!
I thought we were close.

We are.

I mean, look, I sent Hippo 2

on a camping trip
with Dad last week,

and Dad told him he loved him.

Tell you what, I promise
to make time for...

My alarm!
The blood is gonna curdle.

STUPENDOUS: Oh, no! That means
I'm late for ditch digging.

Everyone knows
you can't ditch digging.

Ditch ditch...Digging ditches.

HIPPO 2: [Babbles]

TYRANNIS: I love you too.

�

NEWSIE: Extra! Extra!

Sparta's secret
to super-strength:

Number three
will blow your mind!

Soldiers inside your horse?

It's more likely than you think.

Real Sirens in your area
want to have sex with you!

Hey, stop that.
You're making a mess.

NEWSIE: It's called
breaking news for a reason.

TYRANNIS: Well,
break it somewhere else. I'm sulking here.

NEWSIE: Royal flush!

Princely sibling dynamics
are down the pooper!

This is a private matter,
and it's not even true,

and I'm working on it.
Why is it news?

Ow! Enough!

NEWSIE: It's called targeted
advertising for a reason.

TYRANNIS: What is this?

NEWSIE:
Nike's Trial of the Triads!

Goddess of Victory's contest
where groups of three

can earn fame, glory, and a spot

among the greatest trios
of all time! Enter now!

TYRANNIS: Fame and glory?
What's the catch?

NEWSIE: Get full access
to the rest of this vase

for just one fish per month!

TYRANNIS: Per month?

NEWSIE: You get a free tote bag.

DELIRIA:
How many times have I told you

I don't like to chew my wine?

SCOTT: Ah!
DELIRIA: And where is Shlub?

If I complain all morning,
but my husband

wasn't there to hear it,

did I even complain?

SHLUB: Right here, my love.

I heard and I agree.

DELIRIA: Why are you dressed
like a wee little lad?

SHLUB:
Because this wee little lad

has to go to the theater.

The Rhapsodes are in town.

DELIRIA: The who?
SHLUB: The Rhapsodes.

They're a very popular
theater troupe,

beloved by the thousands.

DELIRIA:
I thought you hated theater.

SHLUB:
Ah, well, it's city business.

I'm obliged to go,
and I didn't want

to bother you
with all the hullabaloo.

DELIRIA:
And you two are going together?

VISCERA:
Oh, Deliria, it's not like that.

I'll just be there
for Shlub to whisper loudly

at when he's confused
about who's who

and what just happened,
even when we have

the same amount of information.

DELIRIA:
Oh, I don't care about that.

He knows he can have
sex with whomever he wants.

I'm just trying to understand
why you're taking her

as your date to this nonsense,

and I'm just supposed
to, what, sit here alone

with this one,
who keeps feeding me

non-alcoholic wine nuggets?

SHLUB: My love, the theater
is all about the expression

of human emotion,
so they like to keep it

a God-free zone.

But don't worry,
you won't be missing a thing.

Viscera, shall we?

Something's not right.

I knew you'd notice!

I'm sorry
for blubbering like this.

I've just been...
DELIRIA: Not with you.

With Shlub.

He doesn't want me at that show,

and I'm trying
to figure out why.

Scott, suck that weakness juice
back into your eyes.

We're going to the theater.

Back into your eyes, I said!

SCOTT: [Whimpers]

TYRANNIS: Listen up,
I have an announcement.

HIPPOCAMPUS: Ah!
STUPENDOUS: Aw, hell yeah!

Shard fight!

No, no, it was a metaphor.

This is
our shattered relationship.

STUPENDOUS: You had to break
a vase for that?

HIPPOCAMPUS: Seems expensive.

Don't focus on the vase.

Focus on the fact
that our relationship,

like this vase, is broken.

Well, yeah. Being busy sucks!

We used to do
all sorts of stuff,

but now it's all,
"Stupe, clean your sword,"

"Stupe, you have
to actually feed your soldiers."

I'm exhausted.

Which is why
I signed us up for...

the Trial of the Triads.

STUPENDOUS: The Tri-Tri?

Oh, you've heard of it?

STUPENDOUS: That crazy contest
sponsored by Nike?

HIPPOCAMPUS: Do you mean
Nike the Goddess?

STUPENDOUS: Of course I mean
Nike the Goddess.

There's no other meaning
of the word Nike

in this context.

HIPPOCAMPUS: I know.

I just wanted to clarify,
when we talk about Nike,

we mean Nike the Goddess.

STUPENDOUS: Swoosh, you got it.

TYRANNIS: I say,
let's just do it.

It'll be good for us.
We'll win Nike's,

Nike the Goddesses, competition,

we'll get closer, and you guys,
we could become

an actual famous trio.

Look who ee
has won this thing.

The Fates, the Furies,

those three guys
who live in the mud.

HIPPOCAMPUS: This is how
the Mud Brothers became famous?

We could be
the next Mud Brothers?

Yes. You in?

STUPENDOUS: You bet your weird
little knees we're in.

TYRANNIS:
Yes. "Siblings" on three.

One, two.

What about the stuff
we have to do?

Remember, we're booked and busy.

TYRANNIS:
Well, I have that taken care of.

ZAN: I will redeem myself,
Stupendous.

HIPPOCAMPUS: What about you?
Didn't you have to clean the boat today?

TYRANNIS: You guys aren't
the only ones with doubles.

Remember Cyrus?

Poop deck, poop deck,
scrubbing down the poop deck.

HIPPOCAMPUS: Uh, no.

STUPENDOUS: I don't really
remember that much stuff.

TYRANNIS: Doesn't matter. Three!

STUPENDOUS:
This is gonna be easy.

No trio can match us
for strength, wits,

and...um...
TYRANNIS: Let's just move on.

Pretend
you never started the sentence.

Better for all of us.

So what do you think
it's gonna be?

Just some standard
bonding tests?

Three-legged race? Trust falls?

Drinking water
upside down while singing?

TYRANNIS:
I think that's hiccups.

STUPENDOUS:
If I know Nike, the goddess,

it's gonna be
way harder than that.

I bet there's gonna be
some challenge

where we're on a rope bridge
with not enough planks

and we're swinging
precariously over a river.

TYRANNIS: Wait, what now?

NIKE: Contenders!

Welcome
to the trial of the triads.

I am, of course, Nike,
goddess of victory.

[Chuckles]

Cool, no applause?

Noted, dicks.

You are here
to complete a series of tests

that will try your wit,
strength, and tenacity.

STUPENDOUS: Tenacity,
that's what you've got.

TYRANNIS: Do you even know
what that means?

STUPENDOUS: Nope.
HIPPOCAMPUS: So, who are we up against?

STUPENDOUS: Yeah,
where's the other three

soon-to-get-beaten-up guys?

Oh, you've misunderstood.

It's not you
against another trio.

It's you against each other.

TYRANNIS: Tenacity, tenacity,
tenacity, tenacity, tenacity.

DELIRIA: This is where we sit,
perched on logs

like a beaver or a poor?

SCOTT: It's immersive.

By sitting on a log,
you bring yourself

closer to the experience.

DELIRIA: The experience
of getting our bottoms dirty?

[Screams]
CAT PERSON: Please be quiet.

We're about to begin.

Prr!
SCOTT: [Laughs]

MANGELA: Another sad morning
in the life of me,

Samuel, a poor person
with a tragic past.

DELIRIA: Oh, this is going to be
quite bad, isn't it?

Poor Shlub will be
bored out of his mind.

Why did he even come?

He never feels compelled
to do city business.

MANGELA: Now I am Samuel's wife.

EVERYONE: Oh!

DELIRIA: Is he under a spell?
Are these people wizards?

SCOTT: I don't think so?

DELIRIA: Well, they're
certainly not actors.

Have they found
some kind of torture

that he doesn't like?

That's truly my best guess here.

MANGELA: Hey,
daughter named Penelope.

Be careful in the water.

What do you think you
are, some kind of fish?

[Laughter]

DELIRIA: He can't possibly be
enjoying this.

SCOTT: [Screams]
CAT PERSON: Excuse me, ma'am.

You're distracting the actors.

DELIRIA:
Well, they're distracting me.

And you're out of character.

Shouldn't you have said
"hiss-tracting" the "act-purrs"?

CAT PERSON: I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.

"Purr" our policy.

DELIRIA: Oh,
now with the purrs.

CAT PERSON: It made more sense!

DELIRIA: Is "sense"
supposed to be something

being made in this
farce-if-it's-a-drama,

catastrophe-if-it's-a-comedy,
you can't even tell which?

SHLUB: Deliria?

DELIRIA: Uh, no.

I'm a human woman
who grows my own hair

on my own scalp.

SHLUB: Deliria,
what are you doing here?

DELIRIA: Trying to figure out
what you're doing here.

I saw you laughing,
surely as a form of mockery.

In which case, why
would you leave me out?

You know I love to mock
the efforts of others.

And don't say
it's a God-free zone,

there's no such thing.

SHLUB: All right,
I was just trying to spare you

because I knew you'd hate it.

DELIRIA: Of course I hate it!

SHLUB: Because I also knew
you wouldn't really get it.

DELIRIA: I beg your pardon?

SHLUB:
I mean you wouldn't like it.

DELIRIA: You said "get."

SHLUB: Darling,
the whole thing is

about human emotion,
vulnerability,

about both
of which you've taken

a rather consistently dim view.

DELIRIA: Nonsense.
Give me one example.

SHLUB: All right,
off the top of my head.

You once asked, if they can die,
what are they waiting for?

DELIRIA:
A perfectly valid point.

They're wasting everyone's time.

Well, guess what?
You think I wouldn't get it.

Well, I will get it.

I'll get the hell out of it.

Viscera, you're released.

VISCERA: Oh, man.
This is my day off.

I don't want to miss the part
where they stink the audience.

I heard the first five rows
are guaranteed to get stunk.

SCOTT:
You can come sit with me.

Your stinking awaits.

The Scott and Viscera
will-they-won't-they continues!

NIKE: These high-key genius
challenges are designed

to tear you apart by tearing
each other down.

TYRANNIS: I don't understand.
I thought this was just a competition.

Why does she want
to tear us apart?

STUPENDOUS: You know,
I heard her siblings

formed a trio without her.

I guess instead of wondering,
maybe it's me,

she just decided
she hates the concept of trios?

I can hear you.
And you're wrong!

This has nothing to do
with my backstabbing siblings.

I'm a goddess of competition.

I like competitions.

I put a lot of work into this.
Shut up!

For each challenge you complete,
you get a point.

Complete enough challenges,
and you shall pass my trials.

Challenge number one.

For this puzzle, you must decide
who is the ugly one.

TYRANNIS: Yay!
STUPENDOUS: Yay!

Pin the blame on Mom's favorite!

STUPENDOUS: [Shouts]

[Bell chimes]

NIKE: Plan a group vacation!

Rank each other's exes!

Discuss your father's final days

and who will care for him!

[Crying]

[Bell chiming]

Oh, what the hell?
Why are you guys not fighting?

You should be at each other's
throats by now.

HIPPOCAMPUS:
Oh, is that what this is?

Hate to tell you,
that's probably not gonna work.

STUPENDOUS: We've
spent our whole lives

fighting each other like this.

TYRANNIS:
Yeah, if this is your plan,

we're gonna win this thing
in no time.

I guess we are a strong trio.

STUPENDOUS: Either that,
or she's a bad goddess of competition.

No wonder Zelus, Kratos, and Bia
threed-up without her.

TYRANNIS:
Zelus, Kratos, and Bia?

They're not gods,
they're personifications.

HIPPOCAMPUS:
Wait, are you not a goddess?

STUPENDOUS:
She's a personification!

[Laughter]

That is it.

STUPENDOUS: Called it.

MANGELA:
And now for the serious part.

This is a comedy and a drama.

It's a camorama!

[Groans]
I am despondent.

Some stuff was pretty funny,

but ultimately
my daughter did drown,

and that makes me sad.

DELIRIA: Sadness?
I'm not sure if I get it.

Kidding. Of course,
sadness is a human emotion,

one of the most famous,
following along just fine.

MANGELA: I am an old man now.

DELIRIA: What? What
happened to the younger man?

Kidding again!

Because,
of course, I'm beyond familiar

with the human experience
and how people...olden.

Would you stop?

You're distracting everyone,
including me, most importantly.

SHLUB: Deliria, dear,
you're ruining the play.

DELIRIA: I don't know

that one can ruin
something like this.

SHLUB: Well,
if that's how you feel,

why don't we just leave?

I'll come back on my own.

Maybe I don't want to leave.

[Gasping]

Or maybe I feel
I was left by you.

[Gasp]

NIKE: All right, so you're good
at tearing each other down.

But can you build each other up?

In this trial,
you must work together

to build this bridge.

Oh, oh my God, wait.

It's a metaphor, kind of,
and I don't even realize.

I'm so good!

The only way to make
the planks appear

is by giving each other
compliments.

TYRANNIS: OK.

NIKE: Genuine compliments.
HIPPOCAMPUS: Oh, no.

Let the final challenge begin!

OK, somebody say something.

HIPPOCAMPUS: Right, OK.
Ty, you are...

the youngest.

That's not a compliment.
That's just a fact.

STUPENDOUS:
OK, don't rub our faces in it.

TYRANNIS: OK, look,
a compliment is easy, right?

Stupe, you are very smart,
which people don't always know

from looking at you.

What? That was genuine.

HIPPOCAMPUS: No, you idiot.
You qualified it.

STUPENDOUS: Oh, come on.

A compliment is just
something that sounds nice.

Look, Ty, you're
stronger than me.

You don't believe that.

That's what genuine means?
We're screwed!

[Shouting]

DELIRIA: I thought
we loved the same things,

like rearranging the furniture
on our son's houseboat

while he's asleep,

or skipping Scott
like a rock on the lake.

But now I find you feel
we're out of sync.

You think I don't get emotion.

Well, maybe you're the one
who doesn't get my emotions.

What about my emotions, Shlub?

SHLUB: What's going on?

DELIRIA: Don't you see?

It's not that I don't understand
human feeling

or I can't appreciate acting.

I just have
a little trouble with...

terrible theater
by talentless hacks.

Yes, queen!

DELIRIA:
That's goddess queen to you.

MANGELA: Oh, you are
a huge bitch. I love it.

DELIRIA:
You're also a huge bitch.

Remains to be seen
if I love it, though.

MANGELA: If you're willing,
I would love to hear your notes.

Drinks?

DELIRIA:
You had me at "hear my notes."

And also "drinks."

TYRANNIS: We're alive!

STUPENDOUS: But at what cost?

We're losers!

NIKE: Well, well, well.

How the mighty fall.

Now you see
what I've known all along.

Trios can never last.

And siblings suck!

So now, since dealing
with you all was pure torture,

instead of letting you all free
like the others,

I'm feeling
a little torturous myself.

TYRANNIS: Please don't do this.
We're sorry.

HIPPOCAMPUS: We? You're the one
who dragged us into this thing.

Now we're gonna be eaten

by an eagle for eternity
or something!

TYRANNIS: Dragged you?

You were nearly begging
for a vacation.

And it's clear
that I'm the only one

interested in preserving
the relationship

now that we don't live together.

STUPENDOUS: We had stuff to do!

Sorry we can't all be
boat guys now.

TYRANNIS: Oh, what is
it exactly that you do, Stupe?

[All talk at once]

NIKE: Enough! Though
the sounds of a trio bickering

is like music to my ears,

it's time
for the ultimate punishment.

It's something
I thought up all on my own,

and it's really sick.

I got a little time stick
from my pal Chronos,

and you three will now spend

the next hundred years...

trapped with each other.

TYRANNIS: A hundred years?
HIPPOCAMPUS: You can't do this!

STUPENDOUS: Oh, man.
This is gonna suck!

[Shouting]

MANGELA: You are mothering
so hard right now,

I want you to step on my throat.

DELIRIA: Darling,
what took you so long?

SHLUB: The rest of the cast
tried to cobble together

a brand-new ending,
but the writer quit,

so it's just devolved
into something

they're calling improv.

WIFE: Can I get a suggestion?
SHLUB: Not now!

WIFE: I heard a "restaurant!"

ACTOR POSEIDON:
Hi, welcome to my restaurant.

WIFE: Yes, and welcome
to my restaurant!

DELIRIA: Darling, you thought
I wouldn't get theater,

but it turns out
I get it so much,

they're asking me for notes.

I invented notes.

MANGELA: And I invented saying
I'm OK with hearing it,

even when quietly, I'm not.

I'm gonna get us more drinks.

Isn't he great?

He says he and his friends
all gather around each week

and watch their town's
local housewives

bicker with each other.
I'm invited next week.

SHLUB: Well, I'm thrilled
you found a way

to enjoy yourself,
but I have to tell you,

I didn't.

What? Why not?

I'm making
this awful thing better.

Well, I didn't think
it was awful,

and I've been trying to see them
for a long time,

and now I'll never see

the last eight hours
of the show.

DELIRIA: You actually like this?

Not ironically?
Not guilty pleasure-like?

SHLUB:
You know I don't feel guilt.

I only feel pleasure.

DELIRIA:
Why didn't you just tell me?

SHLUB: If I told you, you'd have
done the same thing.

DELIRIA: Probably, yes.
So you want to just watch this,

and I'm not allowed to say
anything or make it better?

SHLUB: That's about right.

DELIRIA: Fine, but let's agree
to find another thing

for us to hate together.

SHLUB: I'd like that.

Mother Queen Goddess,
where are you?

You're gonna become
my whole personality, bitch.

NIKE: How was that?
Only 99 more years to go.

Oh, begging
for sweet release already?

STUPENDOUS: No!
This is a thank you hug.

HIPPOCAMPUS: Oh, shoot.
Was that a year already?

NIKE: What is going on?

You're supposed to be trying
to kill each other.

TYRANNIS: Well, I mean, we were.

The first month,
we barely talked to each other.

Then the next few months,
we resolved

and worked through the roots
of some of our conflicts.

HIPPOCAMPUS:
We came to terms with the fact

that we're going to get closer
and further every now and then.

That's OK.

STUPENDOUS: Oh, and then
the next two months,

we spent on Mom stuff.

HIPPOCAMPUS:
Could have used three.

STUPENDOUS:
Oh, then we made a dance!

Show her the dance.
Show her the dance.

TYRANNIS:
Oh, yeah, do the dance.

[Grunting]

No, no, no, no, no!

STUPENDOUS:
It took Hippo a while,

but we had time to teach him.

TYRANNIS: So, thank you, Nike.

It's kind of why we came here
in the first place.

If we had all the time
in the world

we'd hang all day.

All we were really missing
was time,

and you gave us that.

NIKE: You were supposed
to fall apart

and then go insane, like...

like I did with my siblings.

STUPENDOUS:
Oh, we talked about you, too.

NIKE: You...You did?
STUPENDOUS: Oh, yeah.

HIPPOCAMPUS:
How about you end these games,

let us out of this,

and we'll show you
what siblingship

could really look like?

NIKE: You mean the four of us?

I always thought four
was better than three.

TYRANNIS: Yeah, we gathered.

HIPPOCAMPUS: If you want
to hang out with somebody,

you have to ask.
STUPENDOUS: Nike,

have you ever been on a bikey?

I guess if I'm being honest,

I was always kind of ashamed
of being a personification.

My siblings
never had a problem with it.

Maybe I'm the one
who drove them away.

HIPPO 2: [Gargles]

NIKE: No, exactly!

That's what I'm saying!

TYRANNIS: Wow,
I can't believe that worked.

STUPENDOUS: Sorry again
for sending our doubles

to hang out with you.

TYRANNIS: Water under
a metaphorical bridge.

I'm just happy
we were finally able

to have the bonding time
we needed.

HIPPOCAMPUS: So,
is this all adulthood

really boils down to?

Making plans
and committing to them?

TYRANNIS: Seems like it.

Speaking of,
when are we hanging out next?

STUPENDOUS:
I'm booked next week.

TYRANNIS: The week after?
STUPENDOUS: Destination wedding.

TYRANNIS:
What about the next week?

STUPENDOUS: Destination funeral.

TYRANNIS:
Oh, I'm slammed after that.

What about springtime?

STUPENDOUS:
I think I have nights free?

Oh, no, that's
when my murder club starts.

TYRANNIS: Well, we know
you want to do it,

and that's a start.

Can you just say yes to that?
I mean...

STUPENDOUS: Yes!
HIPPOCAMPUS: You got it, bro.

TYRANNIS:
You getting this, newsie?

NEWSIE: Yep! Pathetic brother

still trying to get
his siblings to-

[clay object breaks]

SHLUB: You got the stuff?

DELIRIA:
Oh, I always have the stuff.

The real question is,
can you afford it?

SHLUB: Depends.
Are we talking gold

or personal favors?

DELIRIA: Oh, uh,
just gold should do the trick.

Just the one love potion?
SHLUB: Yes, please.

Well, don't you want
to know what it's for?

DELIRIA: What's it for?

SHLUB: I'm trying to make
my pet iguana fall

in love with me
at this year's cack carnival.

Oh, brother.

Why aren't you laughing?

VISCERA:
Did I miss the joke part?

I just don't really understand.

SCOTT: Are we prisoners?
DELIRIA: Yes, you are.

Now give me
a non-geographical location.

SCOTT: Can I go to the bathroom?

DELIRIA: I heard bathroom.

SHLUB: Hello,
welcome to the bathroom

at the cack carnival.

I can't believe

you would have
sex with my mother.

DELIRIA: Yes, and I
can't believe you are my father.

DELIRIA: I...
SHLUB: ...love...

...sandwiches.

Zip.
SHLUB: Zap.

DELIRIA: Zup.
SHLUB: Zip.

SCOTT: Is this even a scene?

It seems like a warm-up game.

DELIRIA: Zap!

And scene.

VISCERA: Yay! Oh, brilliant.

Wow. Yay, hilarious.

[Chuckles]

OK, wow.

MAN: Did you get any of that?

MAN: Bento.

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